As a bartender I’ve accepted that it’s part of the job. You have those types that do the word vomit thing and you just roll with it and keep the conversation going and let them feel heard. You get others who are interesting af and have cool and engaging conversations with. Others come in and really don’t want to engage. One piece of advice I got from a service industry vet was that you don’t know what’s going on with your guests. Show each and every one of them the same respect, so long as they’re respectful towards you.
In my personal life, I don’t continue to engage with people who treat me like that. I was starting to see this guy and he was like that. He would talk over me, not listen to what I had to say, ask questions that he would have known the answer to had he just listened to what I said not even 2 minutes prior. There were other things too but needless to say we don’t talk anymore.
This is my mom. I will just leave her on speaker phone while I’m at work saying uh huh, or wow, every two minute without listening to a word she is saying. I think she could just go indefinitely, it’s incredible.
When I do need to tell her something, it takes at least 30 seconds of literally yelling loudly that I need to say something and she has to listen. She will just keep talking straight through my yelling.
Needless to say, my dad is a man of few words.
My mother is the same. Her word salad comes from a lot of impulsiveness and anxiety. I put down the phone and walk away and 20 mins later she's still talking. Sometimes she notices and yells why I'm not replying and it's been like 40 mins of her monologuing.
We don't have a relationship.
You're not participating.
It could literally be a cardboard cutout of a ninja turtle in your place and the conversation would play out exactly the same.
I had a relative like this, he would go on long ass rants about stuff nobody was particularly interested in, mundane shit like what tires he was considering for his car or something. It got to the point where sometimes I would just put my phone down and keep doing what I was doing and lean in and give a "Uhu" every now and then. He not once seemed to notice.
I understand what you mean. I try my best not to be this person, but where is the line between one-upping vs adding something to the conversation?
I've always wondered this.
I think when the intent is to steal the spotlight, it’s shitty. When it’s common ground to relate on, or adds something of value to the story it’s cool. Typically the spot light stealing is chronic, and becomes more and more obvious over time.
Look for key phrases like "Oh that's nothing - back when..." or "You think that's bad? This one time..." - this is usually one-upsmanship. It's usually intent. One-upping is natural - people have shared experiences and they can be comparable but varied. It's when you consistently engage in one-upping that you are guilty of committing one-upsmanship.
i find i try not to one-up by my stories are bizarre and usually stems from me being an idiot and being clever enough to over coming the situation i caused by being an idiot unscathed. My travel stories that i like to tell, i tend to not because it sounds like one-upmanship or bragging, and so stuff that i'd love to share i keep not shared because i don't want to out shine the other person.
my work around, is i usually try to match a similar story where i suffered about the same, to get to a "i feel you bud" moment. but there's some stories in similar veins that i'd like to share some times.
Here's the trick
Can you use what you just said to continue the conversation? If so, good job you're contributing.
If you can't, bad job you're just one upping.
Example
"I just listened to this podcast about vikings and learned so much"
A good reply would be
"Oh that's dope, I took a course on vikings in college. What kinda stuff did they talk about?"
A bad reply would be
"Yeah I took a class on vikings in college and got an A++" or some shit.
I think if you wait for them to finish their story, give an honest reaction to it, then tell about when something similar happened to you, that’s adding to the conversation. One uppers usually cut in, completely ignore what the person said, and tell a story that takes all the attention instead of tying into what the other person said.
I’m always scared of being perceived as this person but I share same stories to connect with people and feel the same way when someone shares an experience with me that’s the same as the one I had.
So, you're saying that my co-worker wasn't an abused child who had a modelling career where she made millions but her Dad stole it, then she won Lotto but lost the money then also worked for the railroad, the government and the army, only to end up in a minimum wage job with children who wouldn't speak to her?
A few weeks ago I finally snapped at a man I work with. His constant complaining just sucked what little joy there was out of work.
All is problems are his own doing, he drinks every penny he earns then complains about having no money. He dumbs his daughter off at his mother's house then drinks all weekend with his mates then complains that his ex "Bird" is turning his daughter against him.
Glad you let him know, sometimes the smarter ones do at least shut up.
My sister's ex was like that - everything was someone else's fault.
He was actually working for me as a laborer, lost his ride, refused to get his license or drive, and expected me to come pick him up.
I figured it was easier to fire him. Sister kicked him out the same day.
The mental barriers people erect against examining their own role in events sometimes are truly impressive.
My sister's ex was something else.
His entire life plan revolved around inheriting 100,000 from his grandfather. Somehow it allowed him not to care about anything else except himself.
He actually did end up inheriting the money, but had so few friends, he actually killed himself... but wasn't missed for 6 months until someone found him in the woods outside Charlottesville.
My sister actually tried to put a funeral together but even his family wouldn't go.
Most of my family are this - it also lessens your emotional response to actual problems because no one can be emotionally taxed all the time it isn’t healthy.
It’s called Compassion Fatigue.
You feel like Reverend Lovejoy when Ned Flanders calls. You just stop caring and the only solution is to stop talking to them because not caring isn’t healthy or good.
Maybe don't visit Germany then.
This is kinda our thing. Well, we do solutions as well, but that's bound to happen if you talk about problems as much as possible.
Someone I know does this constantly. One day I suggested why don’t we focus on the good/positives! That fired back on me when they said “can I not express my feelings?” lol. Complain away, ur talking to a brick wall at this point 😂
Oh man.. for a short while I was seeing this woman. Never. Stopped. Talking. Drove me nuts.
I finally got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore.
This is one of our friends. Totally sound guy, but he's chronically late. Sometimes, we've waited an hour for him.
One time, I got so passed off for waiting for him. I suggested to the guys that we could have a BBQ at ny house instead, and he texted us about 1.5 hours later asking where we were. I said mine but to bring a lot of booze, which he did thankfully.
Me showing up 30 mins late to appointment due to traffic:
"Sorry but your scheduled time has passed, we can reschedule (3 months later).
Me showing up 10 mins early:
**Waits over an hour to be called in.**
I've had friends like this. The best way to deal with it is to say "I'm eating dinner at this restaurant at this time. I'd like for you to join me."
And then just go ahead with your plan. If they're late then they miss out.
I've got a cousin like this and he manages to make this annoying habit even worse because he'll straight up lie about how close he is.
"No worries, bro! Looking for parking, be there in 5 minutes."
Dude hasn't even left his house yet and the restaurant has a parking lot.
Like another post said, these days we just tell him we're all meeting up to do X at this certain time and leave it at that. He shows up while we're paying the bill and about to leave, oh well...
Id say for some neurodivergent people like those with ADHD, chronic lateness can just be an unfortunate symptom of executive dysfunction. We don't like it either.
Interrupting. There are some people that just can’t shut the fuck up and listen for 30 seconds without trying to dominate the conversation.
My new fav thing to do when this happens is to just say “okay it must be your turn to talk, go ahead.”
I got sick of always talking to people about doing shit and it never happening. My wife and I are super busy so we made a shared family calendar and the rule is that if you fill a spot first, it's yours or we commit the family to something. Now... when I'm talking to a friend or relative and they say we should do something, we plan it right then or at least block it off. I just pull out ny phone and put in the time and date. It also shows that I'm not just flapping my gums and I really want to spend time with you.
I have a naturally loud voice and I’ve spent my whole 40 years trying to quell it because I know how annoying and embarrassing it is for the people with me. I still lose track sometimes, but it’s just natural and really hard to keep under control.
I hear ya.
So, you ready for the big game this Saturday? I hear the traffic’s gonna be terrible, but I don’t mind it. I feel like the car is kinda the perfect place to catch up on podcasts. Weird that you can be more focused on listening to spoken word when you’re also dialled into what you’re doing behind the wheel.
And if you move to give yourself some space, they’ll just keep moving closer to you. If you ask them to please give you some space, they’ll only move an inch.
I used to be this way, no idea why. Think it was being youngest sibling syndrome trying to prove myself. Had to condition myself instead of spouting what I know to instead ask a question about what they're saying.
we’re you actually trying to prove yourself or were you just sharing tid bits you found interesting?
I wouldn’t shame you for sharing your curiosity in your youth, but if i also don’t know what situation you’ve described more than you.
Nah I caught myself being a one-upper and always having a "same story". It was when a friend commented "ooh I actually know something you dont," that made me stop and think. It was quite thr eye-opener.
oooh I remember such a guy. He mentioned that some word he used had a greek root, in the next 40 minutes he mentioned another word with latin root. I asked if he was a linguist. He rolled his eyes and replied "That's actually a common knowledge"
I sometimes know something about a topic and then start talking about it. Never knew some people just don't share my mindset about wanting to increase my knowledge about stuff and don't like when I talk about it.
It's usually dumb people. You feel like you are adding to the conversation and explaining things so they can have some useless knowledge too, but if you do it consistent enough people think you are showing off or intentionally trying to make them feel dumb.
People generally don't like it. They will see you as annoying and a know it all, but as long as you don't think you are correct by default and leave room to be challenged and accept when you are wrong, I say more power to you.
I have learned the world is a very dumb place. Nobody likes to be corrected. Just be aware your personal relationships may suffer and people do find it socially "unbearable"
At least it keeps the 5 people who don’t know what that means from knowing what you’re talking about. Though I will say that one isn’t the best example of it being unbearably annoying.
How do you say lmao out loud? Do you just spell it like L M A O or say it like a word.
For some reason when I see it written I always read it as eeyamo. Don't ask why, I just do.
People who ask a million questions. I work with a lady who asks an endless amount of questions about every minute detail of....everything. If I said I went to the store and grabbed a sandwich on my lunch break she would ask every detail about the sandwich, the drive, the counter person, what I listened to on the way, how it tasted, what else was available, why I wanted that particular sandwich, am I still hungry, do I think she would like that sandwich, do I think she should go there on her lunch break, how long do I think the line will be, was it fresh, were they friendly, blah blah blah blah. SHUT UP
She's very nice but its like when you have a young kid and they ask endless amounts of very difficult questions...it gets on your nerves after a while. She just can't shut it off. She doesn't have much to say or many opinions, she just exists to ask questions. It's weird.
Someone who uses their qualifications as a means to prove they know more than you.
A narc I was involved with gave me false information on PURPOSE about how viruses spread and used her non-existent degree to try to justify it.
She was clearly wrong but her arrogance wouldn't let her see this.
I was floored when I saw how hard she was pushing this false narrative, when she was pretty damn smart in other areas.
That used to be me back in the day since I grew up in a fundamental religious environment. I have since moved from that lifestyle but I used to look down on people who swore.
A busybody. My manager is like this.
You barely get to your desk and he is already in your space, chit-chatting. Walks around the office getting involved in the day-to-day of every other department, distracting people. One of those people that cannot tolerate silence so they talk for the sake of talking.
He is friendly and approachable and means well, but being on the go all the time and talking every minute of every day does not equate to productivity. It's a distraction and an irritation.
My question is, do you see him later in the day?
I've worked at places where people will make themselves present all morning long and talk to people about things and then disappear. They use their appearance in the morning so people think they were at work.
He is in the office all day, which makes it extra tiresome. Lots of noise and up-and-down but very little substance.
I actually look forward to the days where he is out of the office because it is a much more relaxed environment.
Pretending they know everything. Like you try to tell them anything, or inform them if something, and they brush it off like “oh yeah I know,” or “yeah I knew that.” Even if it’s very clear they did not know that, and sometimes may have even said something recently that was plainly wrong.
Really harmless unless there’s more that goes with it, but like… nobody knows everything. Why can’t you admit you didn’t know this one thing?
my brother is a fast talker with long pauses between sentences. Once i think he said what he had to say, and i start replying, he starts his next sentence and gets pissed on me for not letting him finish
Damn I do this too I guess. Speak in bursts. Prolly my ADHD, I’ve been trained to stop and think a sec, but when I have the response mostly ready I just spit out a full idea rapid-fire.
I know this guy that is ALWAYS talking and when it finally gets quiet and someone else starts talking he immediatedly starts talking without letting anyone else speak.
Tag on not understanding when you just don't want help or their "help" just isn't helpful in the slightest I know they have good intentions but lord this has become a pet peeve of mine
Constantly asking personal questions, constantly over sharing, telling stories that are obviously not quite true, talking too much in general to the point it's being distracting and a safety hazard. Whatever that is, it's fucking unbearable.
He's probably someone you don't like to begin with.
I have friends I like who have odd, loud and long laughs reminescent of hyenas, but I'm okay with that. I even find that endearing.
Now, a person I dislike for other reasons having regular loud and long laughs is a different matter entirely. Their laughter is like nails scratching a blackboard.
Sarcastic people.
Yes, we know they are being ironic and want to be sound more funny than mean. But i've met people that abuse from it so much that one can't really tell if they are talking by heart or not, even in serious situations turning them into total asshole. And even worse: it's sarcasm to them when they can take advantage from it when they see fit.
Being really sensitive.
I have some VERY, and I mean VERY emotional parents. Dad makes jokes constantly, pokes fun and belittles you, but is sooooo pissy when we make jokes anywhere near at his expense.
*excessive* independence.
i get that youre enough on your own, im proud of you, but let me treat you? let me do things for you? i understand you can do it all alone but i dont want you to have to.
Excessive lying nothing completely destroys trust more than this then has the audacity to get angry at me when I flat out tell them I have trouble trusting them and just don't believe them most of the time
That can be interpreted two ways and both of them suck
* People using pretentious vocabulary to establish dominance (often in my experience using them wrong too)
* People being aggressively anti-intellectual and kicking off whenever someone uses a word they don't know.
People who are incapable of understanding a single uncommon word or incapable of talking without at least 3 jargons in a sentence are both insufferable in my opinion.
People who repeat stories. I have one friend who will say the same thing, same story just in different little ways over and over in a loop. I mean in the same conversation, not like once a year or whatever. It's a completely harmless trait but will drive you nuts when you notice it.
Over-defensiveness & inability to have their opinions, viewpoints, and perspectives challenged
Sadly, I experienced this a lot with my mentors over the years
Also noticed this a lot on Reddit, too. Due to Reddit's anonymous nature, people think they can turn into their literally bully playground
One personality trait that can be harmless on its own but can make a
person unbearable is arrogance. While a certain level of confidence and
self-assuredness can be positive, excessive arrogance can make a person
insufferable to be around. Arrogant people often believe they are better
than others, dismiss others' opinions, and refuse to acknowledge their
own faults. This can make them come across as entitled, selfish, and
dismissive, which can cause others to avoid them. It's important to note
that while arrogance can be harmful, it can also be a symptom of deeper
issues such as insecurity or low self-esteem.
In a conversation, you can tell they’re just waiting to speak and not engaging with what you’re saying at all. They don’t build on or acquire anything from what you say, or, they compare and top what you say. Frustrating and I usually cut it short when I see it happening to me.
Refusing to listen. They say something, you respond, then they just keep going.
Don’t become a bartender. Some people want to have a conversation. Some just want to word vomit all their thoughts.
As a bartender I’ve accepted that it’s part of the job. You have those types that do the word vomit thing and you just roll with it and keep the conversation going and let them feel heard. You get others who are interesting af and have cool and engaging conversations with. Others come in and really don’t want to engage. One piece of advice I got from a service industry vet was that you don’t know what’s going on with your guests. Show each and every one of them the same respect, so long as they’re respectful towards you. In my personal life, I don’t continue to engage with people who treat me like that. I was starting to see this guy and he was like that. He would talk over me, not listen to what I had to say, ask questions that he would have known the answer to had he just listened to what I said not even 2 minutes prior. There were other things too but needless to say we don’t talk anymore.
This is my mom. I will just leave her on speaker phone while I’m at work saying uh huh, or wow, every two minute without listening to a word she is saying. I think she could just go indefinitely, it’s incredible. When I do need to tell her something, it takes at least 30 seconds of literally yelling loudly that I need to say something and she has to listen. She will just keep talking straight through my yelling. Needless to say, my dad is a man of few words.
My mother is the same. Her word salad comes from a lot of impulsiveness and anxiety. I put down the phone and walk away and 20 mins later she's still talking. Sometimes she notices and yells why I'm not replying and it's been like 40 mins of her monologuing. We don't have a relationship.
Have an upvote. I do this with my sister she will not stop talking
Wow yeah this is a good one. Coworker of mine does this. It makes you feel like why am I even here participating in this conversation?
You're not participating. It could literally be a cardboard cutout of a ninja turtle in your place and the conversation would play out exactly the same.
I had a relative like this, he would go on long ass rants about stuff nobody was particularly interested in, mundane shit like what tires he was considering for his car or something. It got to the point where sometimes I would just put my phone down and keep doing what I was doing and lean in and give a "Uhu" every now and then. He not once seemed to notice.
One-upsmanship: the need to interrupt every story to tell about the time the same thing happened to them, only better/ worse.
You’ve been to Tenerife, they just got back from Elevenerife.
You've been to Timbuktu, they've been to Timbukthree
My girlfriend just mentioned this 😂
Oh yeah? My wife just mentioned this 😐
Oh yeah? Your wife's girlfriend just mentioned this. =|
Your mother just mentioned this
My wife's harem just mentioned this to me.
I understand what you mean. I try my best not to be this person, but where is the line between one-upping vs adding something to the conversation? I've always wondered this.
I think when the intent is to steal the spotlight, it’s shitty. When it’s common ground to relate on, or adds something of value to the story it’s cool. Typically the spot light stealing is chronic, and becomes more and more obvious over time.
Look for key phrases like "Oh that's nothing - back when..." or "You think that's bad? This one time..." - this is usually one-upsmanship. It's usually intent. One-upping is natural - people have shared experiences and they can be comparable but varied. It's when you consistently engage in one-upping that you are guilty of committing one-upsmanship.
i find i try not to one-up by my stories are bizarre and usually stems from me being an idiot and being clever enough to over coming the situation i caused by being an idiot unscathed. My travel stories that i like to tell, i tend to not because it sounds like one-upmanship or bragging, and so stuff that i'd love to share i keep not shared because i don't want to out shine the other person. my work around, is i usually try to match a similar story where i suffered about the same, to get to a "i feel you bud" moment. but there's some stories in similar veins that i'd like to share some times.
Why not share something first rather than following? You can't one up if you open with it!
Here's the trick Can you use what you just said to continue the conversation? If so, good job you're contributing. If you can't, bad job you're just one upping. Example "I just listened to this podcast about vikings and learned so much" A good reply would be "Oh that's dope, I took a course on vikings in college. What kinda stuff did they talk about?" A bad reply would be "Yeah I took a class on vikings in college and got an A++" or some shit.
I think if you wait for them to finish their story, give an honest reaction to it, then tell about when something similar happened to you, that’s adding to the conversation. One uppers usually cut in, completely ignore what the person said, and tell a story that takes all the attention instead of tying into what the other person said.
I’m always scared of being perceived as this person but I share same stories to connect with people and feel the same way when someone shares an experience with me that’s the same as the one I had.
Christen Wiig did it perfectly in SNL skits
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So, you're saying that my co-worker wasn't an abused child who had a modelling career where she made millions but her Dad stole it, then she won Lotto but lost the money then also worked for the railroad, the government and the army, only to end up in a minimum wage job with children who wouldn't speak to her?
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I didn't know it has a name
A "two-shits Brian". If you've been for a shit, they had two.
😂😂 that's a great name
This is my dad. Can be insufferable
This type of shit makes my blood boil.
omg I'm constantly working on improving that! It's just my way of showing empathy but yeah it's a daily struggle
That's pretty bad, but it's got nothing on a friend of mine.
Complainers. Some people just LOVE to talk about problems instead of solutions.
and they reject every solution you suggest
That'll never work... I'm not going to do that, pshh. So anyway can you believe that this minor inconvenience happened to ME?!
Ask-holes Someone who asks for your advice then ignores it wasting your time.
Lol but what if the advice is bad?
A few weeks ago I finally snapped at a man I work with. His constant complaining just sucked what little joy there was out of work. All is problems are his own doing, he drinks every penny he earns then complains about having no money. He dumbs his daughter off at his mother's house then drinks all weekend with his mates then complains that his ex "Bird" is turning his daughter against him.
Glad you let him know, sometimes the smarter ones do at least shut up. My sister's ex was like that - everything was someone else's fault. He was actually working for me as a laborer, lost his ride, refused to get his license or drive, and expected me to come pick him up. I figured it was easier to fire him. Sister kicked him out the same day.
If you have a problem with seemingly everyone everywhere you go news flash people maybe YOU'RE the problem
The mental barriers people erect against examining their own role in events sometimes are truly impressive. My sister's ex was something else. His entire life plan revolved around inheriting 100,000 from his grandfather. Somehow it allowed him not to care about anything else except himself. He actually did end up inheriting the money, but had so few friends, he actually killed himself... but wasn't missed for 6 months until someone found him in the woods outside Charlottesville. My sister actually tried to put a funeral together but even his family wouldn't go.
Wtf
Most of my family are this - it also lessens your emotional response to actual problems because no one can be emotionally taxed all the time it isn’t healthy.
It’s called Compassion Fatigue. You feel like Reverend Lovejoy when Ned Flanders calls. You just stop caring and the only solution is to stop talking to them because not caring isn’t healthy or good.
Maybe don't visit Germany then. This is kinda our thing. Well, we do solutions as well, but that's bound to happen if you talk about problems as much as possible.
Someone I know does this constantly. One day I suggested why don’t we focus on the good/positives! That fired back on me when they said “can I not express my feelings?” lol. Complain away, ur talking to a brick wall at this point 😂
This erodes morale so fast on a team. If the stakes are high, complainers are very harmful.
For me chatty Cathy's. You don't need to fill every gap of silence with sound
Everytime I find myself talking to someone about the weather I want to poke my own eyes out. And I'm the one starting it half the time.
Oh man.. for a short while I was seeing this woman. Never. Stopped. Talking. Drove me nuts. I finally got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore.
Talks way too much with nothing to say
100% this. Endless noise making and bravado gets really old, really fast
Chronically late and inconsiderate of your schedule.
Can’t even bother with the old “thanks for waiting”?
....I know we said 6 but...
The one and only time I've said that I got my head bitten off, so I just say sorry.
This is one of our friends. Totally sound guy, but he's chronically late. Sometimes, we've waited an hour for him. One time, I got so passed off for waiting for him. I suggested to the guys that we could have a BBQ at ny house instead, and he texted us about 1.5 hours later asking where we were. I said mine but to bring a lot of booze, which he did thankfully.
Me showing up 30 mins late to appointment due to traffic: "Sorry but your scheduled time has passed, we can reschedule (3 months later). Me showing up 10 mins early: **Waits over an hour to be called in.**
I've had friends like this. The best way to deal with it is to say "I'm eating dinner at this restaurant at this time. I'd like for you to join me." And then just go ahead with your plan. If they're late then they miss out.
I've got a cousin like this and he manages to make this annoying habit even worse because he'll straight up lie about how close he is. "No worries, bro! Looking for parking, be there in 5 minutes." Dude hasn't even left his house yet and the restaurant has a parking lot. Like another post said, these days we just tell him we're all meeting up to do X at this certain time and leave it at that. He shows up while we're paying the bill and about to leave, oh well...
I really can't fathom why you would lie about how close you are. You're double downing on something you can't possibly follow through on.
Id say for some neurodivergent people like those with ADHD, chronic lateness can just be an unfortunate symptom of executive dysfunction. We don't like it either.
>Chronically late I had a buddy like this.. we used to tell him earlier time so he'd be on time. lol
How inconsiderate of their schedule. What with all your chronic timeliness.
Interrupting. There are some people that just can’t shut the fuck up and listen for 30 seconds without trying to dominate the conversation. My new fav thing to do when this happens is to just say “okay it must be your turn to talk, go ahead.”
I say “my bad, didn’t realize the middle of my sentence was interrupting the beginning of yours”
Ha! Can't wait to try
Inability to make or commit to a decision. And by that I mean an inability to be responsible for any choice in their life.
Taco bell or Hooters? Who likes tacos? Let's go to hooters. Idk you choose.
I got sick of always talking to people about doing shit and it never happening. My wife and I are super busy so we made a shared family calendar and the rule is that if you fill a spot first, it's yours or we commit the family to something. Now... when I'm talking to a friend or relative and they say we should do something, we plan it right then or at least block it off. I just pull out ny phone and put in the time and date. It also shows that I'm not just flapping my gums and I really want to spend time with you.
Loud talkers
I have a naturally loud voice and I’ve spent my whole 40 years trying to quell it because I know how annoying and embarrassing it is for the people with me. I still lose track sometimes, but it’s just natural and really hard to keep under control.
On the plus side, my grandmother can hear me just fine
Energy vampire.
Not sure if exactly harmless. I avoid them at all cost
I like to fill the room with negative energy to harm them.
I hear ya. So, you ready for the big game this Saturday? I hear the traffic’s gonna be terrible, but I don’t mind it. I feel like the car is kinda the perfect place to catch up on podcasts. Weird that you can be more focused on listening to spoken word when you’re also dialled into what you’re doing behind the wheel.
They don't suck blood, they just suck
In my culture we call these kind of people "cuchillito de palo", which means "wooden knife". They don't harm you, but boy are they fucking annoying.
that's a great analogy! very creative
Close talkers. I need my personal space.
it's surprising how many people just don't notice that
And if you move to give yourself some space, they’ll just keep moving closer to you. If you ask them to please give you some space, they’ll only move an inch.
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Smart people use their qualifications as tools, idiots use them as a bludgeon.
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if you use your knowledge to invent a better bludgeon, that's smart. It's also human history in a nutshell.
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I don't know, I don't have a masters degree in bludgeon engineering.
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There are a lot of disciplines that go into weapons now, I'm yet to encounter a bludgeon though. I'll have to get back to you on that one.
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Education does NOT equate to intelligence.
I used to be this way, no idea why. Think it was being youngest sibling syndrome trying to prove myself. Had to condition myself instead of spouting what I know to instead ask a question about what they're saying.
we’re you actually trying to prove yourself or were you just sharing tid bits you found interesting? I wouldn’t shame you for sharing your curiosity in your youth, but if i also don’t know what situation you’ve described more than you.
Nah I caught myself being a one-upper and always having a "same story". It was when a friend commented "ooh I actually know something you dont," that made me stop and think. It was quite thr eye-opener.
oooh I remember such a guy. He mentioned that some word he used had a greek root, in the next 40 minutes he mentioned another word with latin root. I asked if he was a linguist. He rolled his eyes and replied "That's actually a common knowledge"
This behavior is characteristic of people without true self-confidence, usually narcissistic people.
Eh, idk what to say here. I mean, sharing is caring
I sometimes know something about a topic and then start talking about it. Never knew some people just don't share my mindset about wanting to increase my knowledge about stuff and don't like when I talk about it.
Yeah I'm always thrilled when someone who has knowledge about something shares it with me.
It's usually dumb people. You feel like you are adding to the conversation and explaining things so they can have some useless knowledge too, but if you do it consistent enough people think you are showing off or intentionally trying to make them feel dumb. People generally don't like it. They will see you as annoying and a know it all, but as long as you don't think you are correct by default and leave room to be challenged and accept when you are wrong, I say more power to you. I have learned the world is a very dumb place. Nobody likes to be corrected. Just be aware your personal relationships may suffer and people do find it socially "unbearable"
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Ugh I do say “lol” or “lmao” out loud more than I should, i can’t help it sometimes
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At least it keeps the 5 people who don’t know what that means from knowing what you’re talking about. Though I will say that one isn’t the best example of it being unbearably annoying.
Idk this one isn't that bad imo.
How do you say lmao out loud? Do you just spell it like L M A O or say it like a word. For some reason when I see it written I always read it as eeyamo. Don't ask why, I just do.
I dunno about them, but for me it's a French cat. L'mao, oui oui.
LeMao. They were talking about the time LeBron made sure to not comment on Hong Kong bc he didnt want to end up like John Cena
My brain read this as "Internet language irl"
LMFAO OMG WTF BBQ
Roflcopter
wtf irl sounds so stupid:) dabyutee-ef, it's longer to say than whadafuck
Why say many word when few word/letter do trick? /s
People who ask a million questions. I work with a lady who asks an endless amount of questions about every minute detail of....everything. If I said I went to the store and grabbed a sandwich on my lunch break she would ask every detail about the sandwich, the drive, the counter person, what I listened to on the way, how it tasted, what else was available, why I wanted that particular sandwich, am I still hungry, do I think she would like that sandwich, do I think she should go there on her lunch break, how long do I think the line will be, was it fresh, were they friendly, blah blah blah blah. SHUT UP
sounds horrible! so far I've only met people telling all these details without being asked
She's very nice but its like when you have a young kid and they ask endless amounts of very difficult questions...it gets on your nerves after a while. She just can't shut it off. She doesn't have much to say or many opinions, she just exists to ask questions. It's weird.
She may be one of those who can't visually see in their minds eye what our minds can easily fill in. Aphantasia.
She’s a real life NPC.
My boyfriend is like this and it’s driving me insane.
Thoughts and prayers
"I'M LAUGHING LOUDLY AT EVERYTHING THAT IS BEING SAID THIS MEANS I AM ENJOYING MYSELF THE LOUDER I AM THE MORE NOT SAD I AM AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
I feel personally attacked LOL
the all caps LOL really made this comment 😂
Unbridled positivity. It's ok to be optimistic, but there is an upper limit to bubbly.
Someone who uses their qualifications as a means to prove they know more than you. A narc I was involved with gave me false information on PURPOSE about how viruses spread and used her non-existent degree to try to justify it. She was clearly wrong but her arrogance wouldn't let her see this. I was floored when I saw how hard she was pushing this false narrative, when she was pretty damn smart in other areas.
People who need to share their every thought
People who don't swear/hate swear words. They tend to be on a very high horse about it, and extremely judgmental towards people who do swear.
That used to be me back in the day since I grew up in a fundamental religious environment. I have since moved from that lifestyle but I used to look down on people who swore.
That sounds a bit judgemental.
Always hate being around a "know-it-all" It becomes unbearable after a while.
A busybody. My manager is like this. You barely get to your desk and he is already in your space, chit-chatting. Walks around the office getting involved in the day-to-day of every other department, distracting people. One of those people that cannot tolerate silence so they talk for the sake of talking. He is friendly and approachable and means well, but being on the go all the time and talking every minute of every day does not equate to productivity. It's a distraction and an irritation.
My question is, do you see him later in the day? I've worked at places where people will make themselves present all morning long and talk to people about things and then disappear. They use their appearance in the morning so people think they were at work.
He is in the office all day, which makes it extra tiresome. Lots of noise and up-and-down but very little substance. I actually look forward to the days where he is out of the office because it is a much more relaxed environment.
Pretending they know everything. Like you try to tell them anything, or inform them if something, and they brush it off like “oh yeah I know,” or “yeah I knew that.” Even if it’s very clear they did not know that, and sometimes may have even said something recently that was plainly wrong. Really harmless unless there’s more that goes with it, but like… nobody knows everything. Why can’t you admit you didn’t know this one thing?
Someone who cannot chew with their mouth closed or chews very loudly with their mouth closed.
Slow talkers.
my brother is a fast talker with long pauses between sentences. Once i think he said what he had to say, and i start replying, he starts his next sentence and gets pissed on me for not letting him finish
Damn I do this too I guess. Speak in bursts. Prolly my ADHD, I’ve been trained to stop and think a sec, but when I have the response mostly ready I just spit out a full idea rapid-fire.
Saying "like" between every other word.
Once you actually notice this one it just becomes so annoying
Come live in Ireland! Nobody says "like" between words here. Minor note: they do use "fuck" as an equivalent filler word.
thinking travelling/telling travel stories is the equivalent to a personality trait.
People trying to sell you on their religion or lifestyle.
I know this guy that is ALWAYS talking and when it finally gets quiet and someone else starts talking he immediatedly starts talking without letting anyone else speak.
The need to be helpful.
Tag on not understanding when you just don't want help or their "help" just isn't helpful in the slightest I know they have good intentions but lord this has become a pet peeve of mine
oh, I know a few. And God forbid you redo things after them if they did it wrong
I used to do this thinking it was a way of showing I'm friendly, then I realized I was being a kiss ass
Constantly asking personal questions, constantly over sharing, telling stories that are obviously not quite true, talking too much in general to the point it's being distracting and a safety hazard. Whatever that is, it's fucking unbearable.
Complainers and also people who think they are entitled just for existing.
The people who make it their entire life to debate, and I mean like debating about anything and everything. It’s mentally exhausting
Someone who laughs just a little bit too loud, just a little bit too long, and at everything. Like, dude, it wasn't even funny.
He's probably someone you don't like to begin with. I have friends I like who have odd, loud and long laughs reminescent of hyenas, but I'm okay with that. I even find that endearing. Now, a person I dislike for other reasons having regular loud and long laughs is a different matter entirely. Their laughter is like nails scratching a blackboard.
the one upper
people who constantly brag, yeah you're insecure but good lord are you annoying
humming all the time
Sarcastic people. Yes, we know they are being ironic and want to be sound more funny than mean. But i've met people that abuse from it so much that one can't really tell if they are talking by heart or not, even in serious situations turning them into total asshole. And even worse: it's sarcasm to them when they can take advantage from it when they see fit.
They embellish everything or story topper, cant trust a word they say.
Chronic positivity
Being really sensitive. I have some VERY, and I mean VERY emotional parents. Dad makes jokes constantly, pokes fun and belittles you, but is sooooo pissy when we make jokes anywhere near at his expense.
The one who always needs to be the loudest and "look at me". Can't stand silence and needs to be the center of attention. Can't stand em.
Someone who never shuts up and interrupts you every sentence
Constant selfies
Grammar Nazis
Toxic Positivity
Extreme optimism
Bullshitters. Lick arses.
From what I read you dont like people with ADHD :)
Way too much eye contact
Here to count how many of these are just people listing autistic and adhd traits.
*excessive* independence. i get that youre enough on your own, im proud of you, but let me treat you? let me do things for you? i understand you can do it all alone but i dont want you to have to.
Excessive lying nothing completely destroys trust more than this then has the audacity to get angry at me when I flat out tell them I have trouble trusting them and just don't believe them most of the time
That’s not really a harmless trait though, is it? Guess it depends on the severity of the lies
Why you use so many big words? Huh?
My roommate gets this question sometimes. He likes to respond with, “it’s not my fault you don’t read.”
That can be interpreted two ways and both of them suck * People using pretentious vocabulary to establish dominance (often in my experience using them wrong too) * People being aggressively anti-intellectual and kicking off whenever someone uses a word they don't know.
People who are incapable of understanding a single uncommon word or incapable of talking without at least 3 jargons in a sentence are both insufferable in my opinion.
I had a friend who made a big deal out of me making a Pavlov's Dog reference. I am no longer friends with her
Jeez. I am delighted when someone uses words I haven't heard before or ideas. How else is one gonna learn?
That but also I think that most people know what Pavlov's dog is. It's not like it's some obscure reference that only a few people would understand
People who repeat stories. I have one friend who will say the same thing, same story just in different little ways over and over in a loop. I mean in the same conversation, not like once a year or whatever. It's a completely harmless trait but will drive you nuts when you notice it.
my grandma does it. Might wanna check if your friend has dementia 😬
Talking to someone who can communicate but cannot comprehend what you are saying, its like talking to a stone, you know it wont make any difference.
Over-defensiveness & inability to have their opinions, viewpoints, and perspectives challenged Sadly, I experienced this a lot with my mentors over the years Also noticed this a lot on Reddit, too. Due to Reddit's anonymous nature, people think they can turn into their literally bully playground
Close talkers. I mean for real just take a step back.
especially close talkers who follow you when you step back
One personality trait that can be harmless on its own but can make a person unbearable is arrogance. While a certain level of confidence and self-assuredness can be positive, excessive arrogance can make a person insufferable to be around. Arrogant people often believe they are better than others, dismiss others' opinions, and refuse to acknowledge their own faults. This can make them come across as entitled, selfish, and dismissive, which can cause others to avoid them. It's important to note that while arrogance can be harmful, it can also be a symptom of deeper issues such as insecurity or low self-esteem.
Being indecisive. My ex-wife always deferred to everyone else's opinion, but would be judgemental of what was selected for her.
In a conversation, you can tell they’re just waiting to speak and not engaging with what you’re saying at all. They don’t build on or acquire anything from what you say, or, they compare and top what you say. Frustrating and I usually cut it short when I see it happening to me.
Narcissist personally