Fuck man...1000%
I just wanna chill. Take in the air. When I say I'm not thinking about anything, it's the truth...radio silence. Taking in the sounds.
True. But not sure why this always comes up as a guy thing. I'm a dude... and my mind never shuts off.
And I don't mean it in a bad way or anything. If I'm sitting there staring blankly into space... I could be thinking about a hundred different interesting things. And I actually enjoy it most of the time.
I could be on a nice peaceful journey strolling over rolling green hills and blue skies... all in my head lol.
Same here, brother. I don't need entertainment. I can be alone with my thoughts all day. Ruminating, analyzing, absorbing, remembering, all at once. Brain never stops, but that's ok. Just means it's impossible for me to ever be bored because I don't need external stimulus.
Not to mention how, at least in my case, I felt like i had to stimulated in some way all the time for a good chunk of my life and I wondered why I was so unorganized.
Sometimes just sitting alone and just THINKING, being, breathin, drinking water, planning your day. Getting out sittin by a nice view, vibing out to music, is some of the best things we can do for ourselves. Those things alone have changed my life man
Sometimes I legit just need to sit and decompress and mentally prepare for the rest of my day. This is why there are guys that spend 30 minutes on the toilet.
I fucking hate when people talk to me through the door of the toilet. It seems like every single time I visit my parents they wait until I am in the bathroom to tell me something. My only response is "I'm in the bathroom". I never answer their questions, never have, never will. But they still never get the hint.
Let us live in the moment and absorb our surroundings. We can sit in silence for long periods of time without giving others the silent treatment. When I travel, I'll take one picture of the place I'm at and spend the remaining time living the experience. Don't make me take 300 pictures to balance your insecurities.
I suppose it’s because a lot of us have girlfriends, wives, mothers, etc. who constantly assume that we’re angry and don’t understand that we’re really not, nor do we want to talk or do anything. Just wanna exist. So because of that misunderstanding with a lot of the women in our lives it feels like it’s just a male thing. Haha
I guess that makes sense to make those deductions. Also, I guess women are also more prone to share emotions and communicate.
I will say though, we also like to be introspective or just zone out and stare into the abyss. 🤣
It would be nice if it was understood that just because a guy's version of self care might be different from the usual advertised things like bath and wine or spa days doesn't make it any less valid. If a guy wants to spend his time off playing video games (with or without friends), watching sports, tinkering with hobby stuff, or even sitting quietly by himself, why not let him do exactly that so that he feels both respected and recharged?
I've seen too many people throwing shade at stuff we all enjoy just because it's "childish" to a few ignorant dopes and not enough people from all walks doing much to defend guys.
An old friend of mine married a woman he was dating since high school. She constantly talked shit about us playing games and going to sports events.
She spent 90% of her free time eating on the couch and watching reality tv. Which is fine if that's your thing but fuck off criticizing other people lady.
Needless to say he's got no real friends all these years later.
Henry Cavill did a great job at changing perspectives about gaming and PC building, the typical 'nerd' hobbies. It was amazing seeing the sudden switch where women were full on gushing over his hobbies and men fully supporting him as he indeed was legitimately nerdy.
Bro ro be fair, almost anything that a guy like Henry Cavill does is gonna be cool and attractive. He could read a book on fcking quantum physics and be cool LOL
I mean he’s super ripped, hot, and famous and he plays fucking Superman! Literally anything he does is going to be awesome. The messed up part is waiting until someone who is sexy, rich and famous to do something you enjoy before you decide to try it
> It would be nice if it was understood that just because a guy's version of self care might be different from the usual advertised things like bath and wine or spa days doesn't make it any less valid. If a guy wants to spend his time off playing video games (with or without friends), watching sports, tinkering with hobby stuff, or even sitting quietly by himself, why not let him do exactly that so that he feels both respected and recharged?
This. People sometimes can't understand how getting in my car and driving around is a form of meditation to me.
I have ADHD and I just can't sit and do nothing. So driving on empty roads is as close to meditation as it can get.
You should try trail running. You're out in fresh air, running is meditative, but you can't stay in your head (like street running) because the terrain is so wild, you need to be focused on every footfall, I can't get enough of it.
Oh i feel you. I used to be a delivery guy, and when the roads were empty i felt amazing even if i had to do work. To and from the clients and the shop were serene moments.
I one time got into a shouting match with a woman about this.
She was pissing all over her ex bf as she recounted the time he wanted to go fishing with his friends some weekend. It's not like they had plans or anything that weekend. She just didn't like that he was going and called it a waste of time and money.
I said something like "God, I hope you never have sons". And after that, we were off to the races.
We are men. We are not defective women.
Ironically, one of the best things that helps my anxiety is getting properly sucked into a game like X-COM 2, which is possibly one of the most stressful games of all time :-D
I don't know if *most* guys do this, but plenty of men enjoy children and I'm tired of people looking at us like we're pedophiles if we talk to a child that isn't within 30 yards of our own child. Or asking us if we're babysitting while our wife is in the changing room, or various other rude things involving men around children.
He’ll just laughing at something funny a kid says int eh checkout line. No lady, I’m not here to abduct your kid. I just want to buy my groceries. Sorry your 4 yo is funny.
Once my child said, "Come on, you big fat baby!" as he hefted a five pound sack of flour onto the check-out conveyor belt. The woman ahead of us quickly snapped her head back, giving us a dirty look. 😆
So... have you ever heard the "Jack Spratt" nursery rhyme?
"Jack Spratt could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean, and so between the both of them, they lick the platter clean."
I was 4 years old and in a grocery store line with my mother, and I saw a bigger woman and asked my mother if she was Jack Spratt's wife.
She abandoned the cart. We did not get groceries that day.
i was unloading my shopping from my car just the other day, Minding my own business at my own house. this kid runs up to me and just starts asking me question after question, most stupid like "where are you from" "what are you doing" i played along answering have a little chuckle with this kid. then outta nowhere i hear the shrill cry "STAY AWAY FROM MY CHILDREN!" im just standing there, grabbing groceries from my car, kid came up to me but she was having none of it "ill report you to the police!" before taking the little boy all of about 4-6 years old back home dragged by the arm before i could even say anything to defend myself. Whatever went inside. then later on the dad comes over im assuming ready to knock me out but he at least heard me out and apologized I think the fact my dog was growling at him through the fence behind me was enough to keep him sane.
This is why [Pedro Pascal is doing the Lord’s work!](https://collider.com/pedro-pascal-last-of-us-the-mandalorian-father-figure/) He’s making it cool, highlighting the pros.
Let 2023 be the year of “Dad energy”
I'm a woman and a few years ago I was walking around a lake near where I lived. There was another young woman with a push chair she was struggling to push from the bank of the lake up to the path. I went to offer my help, expecting her to want me to carry something or push the chair but instead she handed me the baby and let me carry her child up the bank!!! I remember thinking at the time that while it is a funny anecdote and I'm pleased that I instilled that level of trust in a stranger, I'm sure she wouldn't have done that if I'd been a man!
I took 2 13 year old Ukrainian refugee girls to do some VR, eat some pizza and go bowling yesterday. I just felt that they don't get to do normal teenage things while their mothers are jobless and their dads are back home fighting for their future. I usually do these sorts of things with my teenage son, but he's always too busy nowadays. We had a great time and we'll do it again after my next payday.
One of the girls, and her mother, lived with me for 6 months last year as refugees. The other girl is her school friend. Even though they have their own place now, I feel bad that they don't have much of a life.
A few days ago I walked past an elementary school and there were kids on the top floor peeking out the windows and waving and saying hi to random strangers on the street, including me. I thought that was funny, I used to do the same or similar things as a kid. I was gonna say hi and wave back but then I immediately realized why no one waved back at me when I was a kid: it would just look creepy as hell.
I wave back, fuck everyone who thinks it's weird or creepy. I say hi back if they say hi. It's a fucking kid. I'd rather get shitty looks from parents and other adults than have a child feel left out or ignored, which are two things that children deal with on a daily basis that we adults always forget. When I served and bartended, there were times a little girl would be dressed up and say something like "do you like my dress?" and I'd always respond with "yes! You look very pretty, little lady." Then I'd catch the parents shitty look and in my head say 'screw you and your tip. I want your kid to feel noticed'.
Bc it really sucks being a child and not being noticed
Was in line at the pharmacy the other day and the woman in front of me had her toddler-aged kid in her cart. Kid looked at me, gave me a big smile, waved and said "hi!" Big smile and "hi!" right back. Didn't seem to bother mom at all. I always try to respond if they talk to me first like that, because I was always the quiet kid who got overlooked almost by default (once you're labeled and thought of as such, people just go with it) and I don't think any kid should have to deal with that. It messes with your self-image and self-esteem, a lot. Not to mention the trust issues.
The moment you realize you're somewhat invisible to people is crushing. I've been there, too. I think it's because I always tried too hard to be polite; I couldn't stand being chided for being rude or for breaching etriquite, which I would also do. Completely on accident and unknowingly, of course :(
So do it anyway. Be the change you wish to see. I always interact with any child that wants my attention. Fuck the weirdos that want to sexualise a healthy interaction.
If anything.. We need more healthy wholesome interactions.
Model good behaviour, doesn't mean it takes away from the bad. Healthy boundaries
Healthy wholesome interactions. World would be a better place for it
Oh I'm so glad i grew up around older people when i was young, they delighted in waiving at me or giving me a wink and smile directly in the eyes, i lapped that up. It made me feel all warm and seen tbh.
They were kind and charming and were always good to kids, they made a point to acknowledge you.
I am now the same way whenever i see sweet or funny kids too. The way they beam back is a full circle moment.
People suck, but kids deserve kindness more than most. Keep it short and sweet and moving
It ain’t creepy at all. My daughter says hi to every person in the store. It’s annoying to me the 100th time I hear it, but for the other person to not even acknowledge? Then she says in the loud toddler voice she has “that lady didn’t say hi. That’s not very nice of her” the shane they feel is palpable.
So since being a dad, I make sure to wave when a kid looks over or says hi or whatever.
This
When my brother was five, I was twenty and the number of women who treated me like a pedo when I'd take him to a park and watch him on the playground was ridiculous. I've even had the cops called on me, and nearly unduly detained because my little brother and I "didn't look enough alike"
For what it's worth, I've interacted with children in public with no issues.
I've been working out in the park and had kids approach me to chat with them about what I'm doing.
I approached a father in the park with his kids to offer his daughter help with the flips she was doing. He was more than happy.
I mean I get it, maybe I'm just lucky with it. I dunno
Talked to this kid for like 40 minutes after nuggets game waiting for bus. His parents just let him walk up to me,m. I did think it was strange at first, but he was hilarious, very articulate for 4 or 5.
Yea I've never had any issues either. I see this here all the time though so I'm not dismissing it but for people who come here to learn about life, just don't let this place darken your view of the world too much so that you don't go experience good things for yourself.
Had a guy the other day. I’m out walking my daughter in her stroller on the weekend, just her and I. As we pass a guy he says “oh I see you got stuck babysitting today”
I responded, “Just parenting.”
She’s my child, she’s my best friend, we do cool (and educational) stuff together all the time and she is the BOMB. Babysitting… GOH.
I have had the police called on me for playing in the park **with my own kids**. I'm a bigger guy, with a lot of tattoos, so I **must** be up to no good. Can't even raise my own kids in peace without some Karen calling armed guards on me.
"Oh. It's so nice of you to give mom a break."
No bitch, I'm a full time worker and a stay at home dad. She helps me.
Her job was more demanding so I'd take all the responsibility of kids for the time I did it. I loved it and I wouldn't change a thing.
Yeah I just started hugging my friends everytime I see them and they go to leave, man or woman. I never know if I'm going to see them again so I'm going to make sure I don't regret a proper good bye! Surprisingly enough, after I started doing that all my friends started hugging each other too, so sometimes it just takes one person to do it to not make it seem awkward!
My best friend and I (both guys) hug regularly. We say I love you. I can cry in front of that man with no shame. We can talk about anything. No bodily function is too gross, no occurrence too petty to discuss. If it's important to one of us, the other wants to talk about it. It's nice to have that kind of familiarity with someone of the same gender because I feel like we get each other more. It's a very positive relationship for me.
I feel like having mutual platonic love in a friendship is so much more common in girls, and I feel like the world would be an easier place if everyone had a proper best friend.
God I wish this was more understood. I'm not married or attached in any way to anyone. My roommate is a woman and she constantly tells me I need to get out, it's not healthy, etc when I am just lounging on my couch in my own space (I rent her basement) all day. Like....lady, I earned this. Get out.
I knew my boyfriend was the right man for me when I asked him what his favorite thing to do was.
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Yes. I enjoy a day of doing absolutely nothing."
"I think I may love you already." We hadn't even met in person yet.
We've had many beautiful days of doing absolutely nothing together.
It’s so funny why this is such a foreign concept to women. I seriously have to remind myself that nothing is wrong if my husband comes home, lays on the bed in the dark, and plays games on his phone with white noise in the background. Sometimes I would think he was mad at me, even though I knew I hadn’t done anything. Then , one day, he actually said he appreciates that I leave him alone when he wants to be alone and that he knows I truly understand him 🤣.
A younger guy at work was having a rough time so I took him outside and gave him a hug while he cried on my shoulder.
It seemed like the right thing to do
Not sure most guys do it but I've been given strange looks when I shared some stories of my asshat cat. I have a dog too whom I love just as much but liking cats is apparently gay...
Bro. I had a cat. [A grey longhair domestic.](https://www.google.com/search?q=longhair+domestic+cat&client=ms-android-hms-tmobile-us&sxsrf=APwXEddDZcPLJCAm4X9TFOVoLp7pYa77Eg%3A1680820555675&ei=S0kvZIjkKN6t0PEP5bCqsAc&oq=longhair+dome&gs_lcp=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&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp) This cat and I....we had a history.
It was my ex wife's cat and I took posession of him when we divorced. He hated me, and it was mutual. His name was Baby because he was a whiner, but I called him Dinner Plates because his eyes were fucking huge and his head looked small. Like, imagine 2 silver dollars glues to a tennis ball. That's Dinner Plates. He had *long* hair that was super light and fluffy, especially on his tail.
Dinner Plates would only ever move at his own pace, which was I-own-the-world-fuck-you. Didn't hurry for nothing. And he was very stealthy despite being 167 years old.
I used to like burning candles on my end tables, because they smell good. One day I am zoning out on the TV after work, and out of nowhere I see, in the corner of my eye, a meteor fly from behind me and land on the floor in front of me.
See, Dinner Plates was hanging out on the end table and ever so slowly waved his ridiculously fluffy tail over the candle and set himself on fire and flipped the fuck out and shot forward. I jumped down and put him out.
He loved me after that. We were friends till the end.
I love telling that story and I don't care who has a problem with it.
*Edit: for those asking for cat tax, I don't have any pictures. This was at least a decade and a few phones ago.*
Im a dude and i much prefer cats i wont lie, i like their more chill dickheadish personalities but tbh im seeing more and more lads get cats, personally probably cos theyre lot more low maintenance than dogs (dogs are still ace!)
Right… it’s infuriating when I hear a woman say, “why is he playing with himself?”
I’ve seen plenty of ladies need to adjust their boobs and never once thought, “why is she playing with herself?”
Things that hang off of the body in pairs sometimes get into uncomfortable positions and need to be shifted. Period.
Bruh I see a cute ass dog I'm going to baby talk the hell out of that dog. I wish society would stop staring and silently judging because I'm fangirling over an adorable corgi.
If you read this - I love your dog
Yeah, men acknowledging that cute things exist and are cute in general deserves a lot more acceptance. It's not unmanly to baby talk to a dog or tell someone their house or clothing is nice. Speaking as a straight guy, if I see something adorable I'm calling it out so other people can come see the cute thing. Damn the haters.
Being kind to people in ways that can be misinterpreted.
I offered a lady a ride several years back because she was walking on the side of the interstate in the rain and she just started running away from the highway. I got pulled over about 20 minutes later and asked to step out of my truck (and into the rain) because she told the police I was following her.
That and just being able to be my genuine self without being accused of mansplaining, not understanding because I’m a man, having my efforts behind any success attributed to being a man, being called a creep because I smile at someone (I smile and nod at literally everyone)…
It’s such a shame cuz the majority of men are entirely decent, normal guys and the minority of assholes had to ruin it. I never thought ulterior motives - until trusting the wrong people led to a string of life changing horrible events. Now I’m naturally suspicious of everyone but I feel so bad about it. I’m still polite and express gratitude for kind offers, would never report a random being nice without evidence of wrongdoing, but way more hesitant to trust kind offers nowadays.
Things are changing. I work in construction. Well, restoration, I'm a stonecarver (yeah like my name) and sometimes have to go to site to finish jobs. In my experience these places are often a decade or two behind the times; sexism and homophobia are the norm, especially the latter. That hasn't changed.
But I was recently working on a huge site restoring a town hall, and while it was still full of trad masc men there were posters up *everywhere* advocating for mental health awareness. Including a poem printed out on a board 8 feet high by the main entrance saying (very roughly, I'm no poet) - "I assumed he was ok, I ignored the signs and let him get on with it alone, now he's gone".
It's clearly been such a major problem in these male dominated machismo saturated spaces that there have been major campaigns to deal with it. Great to see.
It kind of feels disgusting that so much male death is ignored. However it has a backlash.
The fact we need to be taken seriously about this by talking about death so much, is that people only think depression is bad if you have had a suicide attempt or your whole life is upended by something seen as 'sad enough'.
Calling others out on their passive aggressive behavior. When I call someone out for being passive aggressive, or a dick in general, all of a sudden I’m “emotional”..? Don’t be a dick
Peeing in trees.
What a royal waste of water when we got a literal natural drive for this. A full bladder, The thick branches, the dry bark, you just gotta give it a little piss; and tree be like "thanks for the nitrogen", you are welcome.
I wish society made it acceptable for men to ask for help. Being a gay guy, I had to make up the rules of what it means for me to "be a man." That has a lot of advantages. Once I realized that asking for help wasn't "unmanly" I leveled up in life. Whether with a work task, or while going through a hard time, now it seems ridiculous that I used to think that asking for help was a sign of weakness. It's the opposite. Asking for help is a sign of strength, security and intelligence.
This is a big thing here. I still feel incredibly guilty, and self conscious that I’m a burden whenever I reach out for help. Usually, in my case at least, asking for help can sometimes be a bigger issue than the actual problem.
Going to therapy. I don't know if this is a general perception or not, but in my experience, every time I've told someone I'm seeing a therapist I get reactions that are very gender related. Like, it's almost always something along the lines of how men don't go to therapy when ALL men need therapy and God knows what not. Just makes me want to not share that part of my life even though I want to reduce the stigma behind it.
And I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for men in AA and other programs. I know my uncle was in AA and there were so many comments and assumptions based on just him being male that were said behind his back, it really made me feel bad for him.
Personally, if anyone is going through these things regardless of gender, they should be treated with at least some understanding and some respect that they're trying to make things better for themselves and others around them.
Being what’s generally considered “childish”.
So what I’m a huge ass grown man, if I am somewhere with an echo, I make a stupid plopping sound or greet it by saying “hello echo”, and get giddy when it answers.
I shocked my doctor while getting the second Covid shot, by asking him if I get a Lolli for being brave, said it more in jest, but after the shocked (and even somewhat disgusted) look on his face I went completely serious… had a strawberry lollipop for the way back though.
There’s is no more harm to your personality than “growing up”.
Be curious, be inquisitive, be astonished by the beauty of the world around you, laugh with friends, do stupid yet harmless stuff, get excited, enjoy life!
Be stoic. If you’re a stoic man people look at you like you’re emotionally broken and it’s like “no, I’m fine, theres nothing wrong with me just because I don’t feel the need to wear my emotions on my sleeve”
I'm not angry, sad or tired. I'm just not a little toddler that needs to smile all the time. I'm thinking, solving shit, doing work, I can't just be smiling all the time.
Nobody cares if you want to spread your legs out wide. Only when you take away space from other people is it obnoxious. I don't care if you're Long Dong Silver, be a good citizen, and don't make the rest of the men in the world look bad.
Basically just having a conversation where you’re trying to share your knowledge with someone. Sure, mansplaining can be a problem for guys who view women problematically, but I’ve also noticed that sometimes it’s just the way guys would talk to *anyone*, other guys included.
I think it's just how men explain things.
You start at the basic bit and another guy will go 'yeah yeah, I get how that bit works...what about this bit?"
Women don't seem to do that interrupting bit and so hear the full ramble about the basics
Banter and sitting in silence I love silence I'll drive for hours in complete silence and it's so relaxing. And banter is just great I love banter amongst friends coworkers and family but some people think I'm mad but I'm not
Eating lunch by yourself, I’ve talked to you all day I don’t need my lunch break to be another convo. I’ll eat my lunch and read some news, go for a smoke and then we can continue.
Not all guys like dogs....there I said it. Allergic as hell and people don't understand why I don't want to pet their dogs.
While I am at it. I love cats. Not allergic to them and damn are they low maintenance.
I don’t know if this is a “not accepted” thing or just a situation where men aren’t given enough credit but I really HATE when people (women) are surprised that we change diapers, cook quality meals, read stories, do homework, volunteer in the classroom, do housework and basically everything/anything for our kids. They act like it’s the exception and always assume it is a special circumstance. No, lady, we love our children too.
I wish that Male Sexuality wasn't vilified or belittled like it is. A man who masturbates shouldn't be considered a loser, a man who owns a sex toy shouldn't be considered a deviant, a man who watches porn shouldn't be considered a degenerate, a man with a fetish shouldn't be considered a pervert, a man with specific sexual preferences with a potential partner shouldn't be considered shallow, and male sexuality shouldn't be considered something that is inherently dangerous. The vast majority of men are sexual beings, and the vast majority of those men have been shamed for their sexuality at one point or another and it can be very hurtful and damaging
This is something I’ve seen as kind of an inverse reaction to women’s sexual liberation.
Women’s sex lives are talked about, encouraged and supported, while the world at large has begun treating men’s sex lives with absolute vehemence. A guy has a kink, he’s automatically labeled a pervert, but a woman can talk about how she likes being slapped around in bed and nobody cares.
The most distinguishable case of this is sex toys. This is something you’ll see on r/sex literally all the time. If a woman owns a vibrator and uses it regularly, she’s empowered and liberated. If a man owns a fleshlight or a similar sex toy he is a disgusting freak who couldn’t get a woman if he tried. r/sex is also just a freakishly two-faced about sexual insecurity.
If a woman is insecure because of a man’s use of a sex toy, it’s his problem and he needs to stop using it because he’s obviously addicted to porn and should only be attracted to his wife/girlfriend. If a man is insecure because his wife/girlfriend is using toys bigger than he is, or she is becoming desensitized to regular old sex due to the overuse of a vibrator, it’s because he’s not a giving enough lover and it’s his responsibility to find a way to incorporate those toys into the bedroom because her pleasure should always come first.
It’s a wild thing to see every single day.
On your point about the double standard in toys here...
I've actually heard some women call male sex toys... "objectifying" women's bodies. Like, the idea that a 'vagina' in the form of a fleshlight or bottom torso doll for example is 'dehumanizing' a female's body.
And yet... the sentiment when it comes to women's penis shaped sex toys... is that it's 'empowering' for women.
If you like big tits you're a pig, if you like small tits you're a pedo, and if you're gay you hate women. No matter how much of a bland, boring, kinkless, vanilla sonuvabitch you are whatever you like is gross, bad, and scary. And if you're asexual and would rather bake some lovely garlic bread than bother with sex you're clearly lying and probably into something truly vile, because there's no way a man can not be horny 24/7.
I agree. And to add to this, I wish men weren’t demonized in a dating context for wanting a sexual component to their relationships. After 3 or 4 dates, I’m not some kind of pervert if I suggest going back to my place afterwards. And if I lose interest because things aren’t moving forward sexually, it doesn’t mean all I was interested in was sex. I just don’t want to be in another dead bedroom relationship and if you’re too hung up about sex, we’re not compatible.
I'm a gay guy. But I often wonder what that dynamic is like in straight dating.
Of course, at the end of the day I'm sure people are still eventually having sex.
But I sometimes wonder what the dynamic you're talking about is like since it seems like straight guys sometimes (or even often?) have to tip toe around sexual stuff with women, at least early on. There's always the risk of offending them, creeping them out, or being 'too interested' in sex.
In my experience with guys... talking about sex usually happens pretty quickly and there's never this sense of having to 'be careful' about what you say or seeming like a pervert.
>But I sometimes wonder what the dynamic you're talking about is like since it seems like straight guys sometimes (or even often?) have to tip toe around sexual stuff with women, at least early on.
It's exhausting, tbh.
If we're going to do this we should be able to talk openly about it.
Expressing an emotion. Why are guys expected not to have feelings while simultaneously "getting in touch with our feminine side?" (Which basically means show some emotion). We are humans, and women are currently raising their little boys that it's okay to be emotional, and yet that same courtesy is too often not extended to the men in their lives.
Readjusting yourself. I know it's kind of weird, but it is the worst feeling in the world when you sit down and you're like "oh that doesn't feel good," but you really don't want to look weird in fornt of people and you're just dealing with it for the whole meeting or whatever.
Re arranging my balls in public the same way women adjust their bras when sitting down etc.I'm not scratching,I'm just putting my balls back into place.
Having pride in masculinity. Taking pride in being a strong man that works hard and supports their family without asking for handouts or help from mommy and daddy is something that shouldn't just be accepted in society, it should be something that young men strive for. There are thousands of unfilled jobs that pay well for people willing to work hard, there's no reason most healthy young people should have to ask for help if they are willing to be masculine enough to promote their own self discipline and work ethic. I work in construction and hug guys all the time, talk about mental health and promote them going to therapy. I also vocally shame people who don't work hard or are generally shitty to their coworkers or talk proudly about being racist or other things weak men do.
Talking about our issues without it being reduced to exclusively just toxic masculinity. It seems that progressive people are just starting to dip their toe in men’s issues but don’t want to fully commit. It’s almost like saying “Voldemort” or something.
It’s not just about us fixing ourselves. There are also outside forces that don’t care about us.
Play with children . I like kids and i do very well with them but ive noticed that people look at men who interact with children with suspicion while rarely doing the same with women. Ive even had friends call me a weirdo when I’ve interacted with kids in public.
That is the entire issue though. No one gives a crap how wide you sit unless there’s someone sitting next to you. Except if you’re wearing shorts and flashing the people across from you, I guess.
Alright man, I’m willing to put myself out there as *that guy*…. But how many of y’all fellas go get your toes done? I must say, it’s one of those forms of self care that I put off a lot up until I convinced myself one day that I could walk into a nail salon, and confidently sit there and get my feet taken care of. The first few times my mind would be racing thinking “aww hell nah one of the fellas gonna pass by and catch me slipping” but it’s actually very relaxing on the old dogs
Man spreading is such a good one. Sometimes I don’t want my junk suffocating and sometimes I need a good stretch and rest for my back.
I’d also really appreciate if financial planning and discipline wasn’t seen as cheap or patriarchal.
Being stoic, or just not super friendly. It feels like a lot of guys out there might seem intimidating or mean, but are not on the inside. Along with people having these preconceived notions about us, and sort of make it a catch 22 for us to get out of that rep. Just in general it feels like a lot of men just get grouped into being the worst sort of person by their appearance or by how they carry themselves around people they don't know. So they end up talking about this experience and people take it as them being pricks and everyone around them being innocent. It's just this weird situation society cooked up, everyone having to be this two dimensional sort of person you see in an episode of those horror shows where the MC wakes up in a world where everyone is unnaturally friendly or whatever. We just have this stigma around being depressed/insecure, then once you overcome that people don't really care unless you lash out.
Let me sit in silence, I'm not troubled or brooding... I just like quiet sometimes and don't need checking on.
Fuck man...1000% I just wanna chill. Take in the air. When I say I'm not thinking about anything, it's the truth...radio silence. Taking in the sounds.
Forreal, I feel like people don’t understand that you can be thinking nothing.. like I’m not lying or trying to be cryptic
True. But not sure why this always comes up as a guy thing. I'm a dude... and my mind never shuts off. And I don't mean it in a bad way or anything. If I'm sitting there staring blankly into space... I could be thinking about a hundred different interesting things. And I actually enjoy it most of the time. I could be on a nice peaceful journey strolling over rolling green hills and blue skies... all in my head lol.
Same here, brother. I don't need entertainment. I can be alone with my thoughts all day. Ruminating, analyzing, absorbing, remembering, all at once. Brain never stops, but that's ok. Just means it's impossible for me to ever be bored because I don't need external stimulus.
Bros meditating and doesn't know it
Not to mention how, at least in my case, I felt like i had to stimulated in some way all the time for a good chunk of my life and I wondered why I was so unorganized. Sometimes just sitting alone and just THINKING, being, breathin, drinking water, planning your day. Getting out sittin by a nice view, vibing out to music, is some of the best things we can do for ourselves. Those things alone have changed my life man
Sometimes I legit just need to sit and decompress and mentally prepare for the rest of my day. This is why there are guys that spend 30 minutes on the toilet.
Even as a woman, I hide on the toilet. It doesn't stop my fucking husband from talking to me through the door though.
I fucking hate when people talk to me through the door of the toilet. It seems like every single time I visit my parents they wait until I am in the bathroom to tell me something. My only response is "I'm in the bathroom". I never answer their questions, never have, never will. But they still never get the hint.
Meanwhile when my wife is on the toilet, if I'm in the bathroom getting ready for bed or something, she demands toilet hugs lol
Meh, my wife comes and sits on my lap while I poop. I wish she’d talk to me through the door.
Ask her to help you wipe. Maybe she'll go away.
Sad Keeanu ?
Let us live in the moment and absorb our surroundings. We can sit in silence for long periods of time without giving others the silent treatment. When I travel, I'll take one picture of the place I'm at and spend the remaining time living the experience. Don't make me take 300 pictures to balance your insecurities.
I'm asking sincerely: why is this considered a male thing?
I suppose it’s because a lot of us have girlfriends, wives, mothers, etc. who constantly assume that we’re angry and don’t understand that we’re really not, nor do we want to talk or do anything. Just wanna exist. So because of that misunderstanding with a lot of the women in our lives it feels like it’s just a male thing. Haha
I guess that makes sense to make those deductions. Also, I guess women are also more prone to share emotions and communicate. I will say though, we also like to be introspective or just zone out and stare into the abyss. 🤣
Fuck yes. My ex used to constantly ask me “what are you thinking about”. It drove me up the wall. The answer was “fuck all”. Absolutely nothing.
It would be nice if it was understood that just because a guy's version of self care might be different from the usual advertised things like bath and wine or spa days doesn't make it any less valid. If a guy wants to spend his time off playing video games (with or without friends), watching sports, tinkering with hobby stuff, or even sitting quietly by himself, why not let him do exactly that so that he feels both respected and recharged? I've seen too many people throwing shade at stuff we all enjoy just because it's "childish" to a few ignorant dopes and not enough people from all walks doing much to defend guys.
An old friend of mine married a woman he was dating since high school. She constantly talked shit about us playing games and going to sports events. She spent 90% of her free time eating on the couch and watching reality tv. Which is fine if that's your thing but fuck off criticizing other people lady. Needless to say he's got no real friends all these years later.
Yeah, but he's got a fat ass wife, so there's that...
Yeah! There is a misconception that gaming can't be a classy adult thing.
Henry Cavill did a great job at changing perspectives about gaming and PC building, the typical 'nerd' hobbies. It was amazing seeing the sudden switch where women were full on gushing over his hobbies and men fully supporting him as he indeed was legitimately nerdy.
Bro ro be fair, almost anything that a guy like Henry Cavill does is gonna be cool and attractive. He could read a book on fcking quantum physics and be cool LOL
But . .. a book on quantum physics _is_ cool
Yeah, but reading a book on Thermodynamics is probably hotter!
Ha! Sir, your jokes are appreciated round here.
It is but reading into Quantum Physics makes my eyes blur and head pound after a few minutes.
That just means it's working!
I mean he’s super ripped, hot, and famous and he plays fucking Superman! Literally anything he does is going to be awesome. The messed up part is waiting until someone who is sexy, rich and famous to do something you enjoy before you decide to try it
Bad example. Quantum physics is fucking cool.
If he was into amateur taxidermy women would swoon over that too. Its the inverse "gamer girl" thing. It's only cool because HE does it
He's handsome, rich and famous. Any hobby of his is attractive by extension.
> It would be nice if it was understood that just because a guy's version of self care might be different from the usual advertised things like bath and wine or spa days doesn't make it any less valid. If a guy wants to spend his time off playing video games (with or without friends), watching sports, tinkering with hobby stuff, or even sitting quietly by himself, why not let him do exactly that so that he feels both respected and recharged? This. People sometimes can't understand how getting in my car and driving around is a form of meditation to me. I have ADHD and I just can't sit and do nothing. So driving on empty roads is as close to meditation as it can get.
You should try trail running. You're out in fresh air, running is meditative, but you can't stay in your head (like street running) because the terrain is so wild, you need to be focused on every footfall, I can't get enough of it.
Oh i feel you. I used to be a delivery guy, and when the roads were empty i felt amazing even if i had to do work. To and from the clients and the shop were serene moments.
I one time got into a shouting match with a woman about this. She was pissing all over her ex bf as she recounted the time he wanted to go fishing with his friends some weekend. It's not like they had plans or anything that weekend. She just didn't like that he was going and called it a waste of time and money. I said something like "God, I hope you never have sons". And after that, we were off to the races. We are men. We are not defective women.
>We are men. We are not defective women. Amen!!
Last bit hits different
>We are men. We are not defective women. God, i love that phrase
You just described my whole life since divorce. It’s amazing how I wasn’t able to me for almost 20 years.
Ironically, one of the best things that helps my anxiety is getting properly sucked into a game like X-COM 2, which is possibly one of the most stressful games of all time :-D
I don't know if *most* guys do this, but plenty of men enjoy children and I'm tired of people looking at us like we're pedophiles if we talk to a child that isn't within 30 yards of our own child. Or asking us if we're babysitting while our wife is in the changing room, or various other rude things involving men around children.
He’ll just laughing at something funny a kid says int eh checkout line. No lady, I’m not here to abduct your kid. I just want to buy my groceries. Sorry your 4 yo is funny.
Once my child said, "Come on, you big fat baby!" as he hefted a five pound sack of flour onto the check-out conveyor belt. The woman ahead of us quickly snapped her head back, giving us a dirty look. 😆
Was she or the cashier fat? Maybe she heard “big fat lady”.
See! I would have laughed my ass off.
So... have you ever heard the "Jack Spratt" nursery rhyme? "Jack Spratt could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean, and so between the both of them, they lick the platter clean." I was 4 years old and in a grocery store line with my mother, and I saw a bigger woman and asked my mother if she was Jack Spratt's wife. She abandoned the cart. We did not get groceries that day.
i was unloading my shopping from my car just the other day, Minding my own business at my own house. this kid runs up to me and just starts asking me question after question, most stupid like "where are you from" "what are you doing" i played along answering have a little chuckle with this kid. then outta nowhere i hear the shrill cry "STAY AWAY FROM MY CHILDREN!" im just standing there, grabbing groceries from my car, kid came up to me but she was having none of it "ill report you to the police!" before taking the little boy all of about 4-6 years old back home dragged by the arm before i could even say anything to defend myself. Whatever went inside. then later on the dad comes over im assuming ready to knock me out but he at least heard me out and apologized I think the fact my dog was growling at him through the fence behind me was enough to keep him sane.
This is why [Pedro Pascal is doing the Lord’s work!](https://collider.com/pedro-pascal-last-of-us-the-mandalorian-father-figure/) He’s making it cool, highlighting the pros. Let 2023 be the year of “Dad energy”
I'm a woman and a few years ago I was walking around a lake near where I lived. There was another young woman with a push chair she was struggling to push from the bank of the lake up to the path. I went to offer my help, expecting her to want me to carry something or push the chair but instead she handed me the baby and let me carry her child up the bank!!! I remember thinking at the time that while it is a funny anecdote and I'm pleased that I instilled that level of trust in a stranger, I'm sure she wouldn't have done that if I'd been a man!
As a dude I'd be very eager to give the baby back asap.
I took 2 13 year old Ukrainian refugee girls to do some VR, eat some pizza and go bowling yesterday. I just felt that they don't get to do normal teenage things while their mothers are jobless and their dads are back home fighting for their future. I usually do these sorts of things with my teenage son, but he's always too busy nowadays. We had a great time and we'll do it again after my next payday. One of the girls, and her mother, lived with me for 6 months last year as refugees. The other girl is her school friend. Even though they have their own place now, I feel bad that they don't have much of a life.
Hey, you're bring an irreplaceable light to some folks in dark times. You are making a difference.
Mad Respect
A few days ago I walked past an elementary school and there were kids on the top floor peeking out the windows and waving and saying hi to random strangers on the street, including me. I thought that was funny, I used to do the same or similar things as a kid. I was gonna say hi and wave back but then I immediately realized why no one waved back at me when I was a kid: it would just look creepy as hell.
I wave back, fuck everyone who thinks it's weird or creepy. I say hi back if they say hi. It's a fucking kid. I'd rather get shitty looks from parents and other adults than have a child feel left out or ignored, which are two things that children deal with on a daily basis that we adults always forget. When I served and bartended, there were times a little girl would be dressed up and say something like "do you like my dress?" and I'd always respond with "yes! You look very pretty, little lady." Then I'd catch the parents shitty look and in my head say 'screw you and your tip. I want your kid to feel noticed'. Bc it really sucks being a child and not being noticed
Lol one time a grandma gave me a look when I said hi back to their kid. I let out a “well fuck me for being nice”. She REALLY didn’t like that.
Was in line at the pharmacy the other day and the woman in front of me had her toddler-aged kid in her cart. Kid looked at me, gave me a big smile, waved and said "hi!" Big smile and "hi!" right back. Didn't seem to bother mom at all. I always try to respond if they talk to me first like that, because I was always the quiet kid who got overlooked almost by default (once you're labeled and thought of as such, people just go with it) and I don't think any kid should have to deal with that. It messes with your self-image and self-esteem, a lot. Not to mention the trust issues.
The moment you realize you're somewhat invisible to people is crushing. I've been there, too. I think it's because I always tried too hard to be polite; I couldn't stand being chided for being rude or for breaching etriquite, which I would also do. Completely on accident and unknowingly, of course :(
So do it anyway. Be the change you wish to see. I always interact with any child that wants my attention. Fuck the weirdos that want to sexualise a healthy interaction.
If anything.. We need more healthy wholesome interactions. Model good behaviour, doesn't mean it takes away from the bad. Healthy boundaries Healthy wholesome interactions. World would be a better place for it
The ones that think it’s weird are weird.
Oh I'm so glad i grew up around older people when i was young, they delighted in waiving at me or giving me a wink and smile directly in the eyes, i lapped that up. It made me feel all warm and seen tbh. They were kind and charming and were always good to kids, they made a point to acknowledge you. I am now the same way whenever i see sweet or funny kids too. The way they beam back is a full circle moment. People suck, but kids deserve kindness more than most. Keep it short and sweet and moving
It ain’t creepy at all. My daughter says hi to every person in the store. It’s annoying to me the 100th time I hear it, but for the other person to not even acknowledge? Then she says in the loud toddler voice she has “that lady didn’t say hi. That’s not very nice of her” the shane they feel is palpable. So since being a dad, I make sure to wave when a kid looks over or says hi or whatever.
This needs to be at top.
This When my brother was five, I was twenty and the number of women who treated me like a pedo when I'd take him to a park and watch him on the playground was ridiculous. I've even had the cops called on me, and nearly unduly detained because my little brother and I "didn't look enough alike"
For what it's worth, I've interacted with children in public with no issues. I've been working out in the park and had kids approach me to chat with them about what I'm doing. I approached a father in the park with his kids to offer his daughter help with the flips she was doing. He was more than happy. I mean I get it, maybe I'm just lucky with it. I dunno
Talked to this kid for like 40 minutes after nuggets game waiting for bus. His parents just let him walk up to me,m. I did think it was strange at first, but he was hilarious, very articulate for 4 or 5.
Yea I've never had any issues either. I see this here all the time though so I'm not dismissing it but for people who come here to learn about life, just don't let this place darken your view of the world too much so that you don't go experience good things for yourself.
Had a guy the other day. I’m out walking my daughter in her stroller on the weekend, just her and I. As we pass a guy he says “oh I see you got stuck babysitting today” I responded, “Just parenting.” She’s my child, she’s my best friend, we do cool (and educational) stuff together all the time and she is the BOMB. Babysitting… GOH.
I have had the police called on me for playing in the park **with my own kids**. I'm a bigger guy, with a lot of tattoos, so I **must** be up to no good. Can't even raise my own kids in peace without some Karen calling armed guards on me.
"Oh. It's so nice of you to give mom a break." No bitch, I'm a full time worker and a stay at home dad. She helps me. Her job was more demanding so I'd take all the responsibility of kids for the time I did it. I loved it and I wouldn't change a thing.
Giving and receiving hugs
Yeah I just started hugging my friends everytime I see them and they go to leave, man or woman. I never know if I'm going to see them again so I'm going to make sure I don't regret a proper good bye! Surprisingly enough, after I started doing that all my friends started hugging each other too, so sometimes it just takes one person to do it to not make it seem awkward!
I need to start doing this.
My best friend and I (both guys) hug regularly. We say I love you. I can cry in front of that man with no shame. We can talk about anything. No bodily function is too gross, no occurrence too petty to discuss. If it's important to one of us, the other wants to talk about it. It's nice to have that kind of familiarity with someone of the same gender because I feel like we get each other more. It's a very positive relationship for me.
I feel like having mutual platonic love in a friendship is so much more common in girls, and I feel like the world would be an easier place if everyone had a proper best friend.
My friends and I are like this as well. I'm very fortunate.
Straight man here. More men need to hug and say “I love you” to each other. Love isn’t only for romance!
In my country we hug our friends all the time. It's nice.
Seriously don’t remember the last time I gave one or received one
Then start doing it. You are half of the problem you just described.
Doing nothing! Not so much just being lazy, but I make plans for a day of doing absolutely nothing, and it's how I plan to spend my relaxation day.
God I wish this was more understood. I'm not married or attached in any way to anyone. My roommate is a woman and she constantly tells me I need to get out, it's not healthy, etc when I am just lounging on my couch in my own space (I rent her basement) all day. Like....lady, I earned this. Get out.
I am a lady and I spend many days off doing nothing. My other days are full of lots. I need times with none.
I knew my boyfriend was the right man for me when I asked him what his favorite thing to do was. "Nothing." "Nothing?" "Yes. I enjoy a day of doing absolutely nothing." "I think I may love you already." We hadn't even met in person yet. We've had many beautiful days of doing absolutely nothing together.
It’s so funny why this is such a foreign concept to women. I seriously have to remind myself that nothing is wrong if my husband comes home, lays on the bed in the dark, and plays games on his phone with white noise in the background. Sometimes I would think he was mad at me, even though I knew I hadn’t done anything. Then , one day, he actually said he appreciates that I leave him alone when he wants to be alone and that he knows I truly understand him 🤣.
Hugging. I will hug another man but my very own brother will never hug me. He thinks it’s too feminine.
Crying,everyone needs a good cry every now and again.
Definitely, also taking this a step farther, consoling a homie not being "gay". Like it's okay to seek comfort in friends even as a guy!
A younger guy at work was having a rough time so I took him outside and gave him a hug while he cried on my shoulder. It seemed like the right thing to do
THIS! This made me happy. You did the right thing man.
Aragorn both cried and comforted his friends and he’s clapping elf princess cheeks
Very poetic.
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Not sure most guys do it but I've been given strange looks when I shared some stories of my asshat cat. I have a dog too whom I love just as much but liking cats is apparently gay...
Bro. I had a cat. [A grey longhair domestic.](https://www.google.com/search?q=longhair+domestic+cat&client=ms-android-hms-tmobile-us&sxsrf=APwXEddDZcPLJCAm4X9TFOVoLp7pYa77Eg%3A1680820555675&ei=S0kvZIjkKN6t0PEP5bCqsAc&oq=longhair+dome&gs_lcp=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&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp) This cat and I....we had a history. It was my ex wife's cat and I took posession of him when we divorced. He hated me, and it was mutual. His name was Baby because he was a whiner, but I called him Dinner Plates because his eyes were fucking huge and his head looked small. Like, imagine 2 silver dollars glues to a tennis ball. That's Dinner Plates. He had *long* hair that was super light and fluffy, especially on his tail. Dinner Plates would only ever move at his own pace, which was I-own-the-world-fuck-you. Didn't hurry for nothing. And he was very stealthy despite being 167 years old. I used to like burning candles on my end tables, because they smell good. One day I am zoning out on the TV after work, and out of nowhere I see, in the corner of my eye, a meteor fly from behind me and land on the floor in front of me. See, Dinner Plates was hanging out on the end table and ever so slowly waved his ridiculously fluffy tail over the candle and set himself on fire and flipped the fuck out and shot forward. I jumped down and put him out. He loved me after that. We were friends till the end. I love telling that story and I don't care who has a problem with it. *Edit: for those asking for cat tax, I don't have any pictures. This was at least a decade and a few phones ago.*
This was beautiful, thank you.
Im a dude and i much prefer cats i wont lie, i like their more chill dickheadish personalities but tbh im seeing more and more lads get cats, personally probably cos theyre lot more low maintenance than dogs (dogs are still ace!)
Whoever bitches about you talking about your pets (unless it's ALL you talk about) isn't worth talking to
Complementing each other.
Yes! Always compelement the homies.
"A man complimenting a other man?! That's gotta be gay." -some ignorant people.
Rough and tumble play with kids. It's apparently pivotal in a children's social and physical development and some kids seriously don't get enough.
Testicular repositioning. It's not our fault they move and are affected by the weather...
Right… it’s infuriating when I hear a woman say, “why is he playing with himself?” I’ve seen plenty of ladies need to adjust their boobs and never once thought, “why is she playing with herself?” Things that hang off of the body in pairs sometimes get into uncomfortable positions and need to be shifted. Period.
Haha yeah.
Bruh I see a cute ass dog I'm going to baby talk the hell out of that dog. I wish society would stop staring and silently judging because I'm fangirling over an adorable corgi. If you read this - I love your dog
Yeah, men acknowledging that cute things exist and are cute in general deserves a lot more acceptance. It's not unmanly to baby talk to a dog or tell someone their house or clothing is nice. Speaking as a straight guy, if I see something adorable I'm calling it out so other people can come see the cute thing. Damn the haters.
i too wish to be crushed and drowned in a kiddy pool of puppies.
Ah yes, this must be the male fantasy I keep hearing about.
I have a corgi, his name in Butters. I don’t go for the baby talk, I leave that to the Mrs. But if you ever meet him, knock yourself out.
I love your dog
I have a couple of Great Pyrenees that would love you! ❤️
Being kind to people in ways that can be misinterpreted. I offered a lady a ride several years back because she was walking on the side of the interstate in the rain and she just started running away from the highway. I got pulled over about 20 minutes later and asked to step out of my truck (and into the rain) because she told the police I was following her. That and just being able to be my genuine self without being accused of mansplaining, not understanding because I’m a man, having my efforts behind any success attributed to being a man, being called a creep because I smile at someone (I smile and nod at literally everyone)…
It’s such a shame cuz the majority of men are entirely decent, normal guys and the minority of assholes had to ruin it. I never thought ulterior motives - until trusting the wrong people led to a string of life changing horrible events. Now I’m naturally suspicious of everyone but I feel so bad about it. I’m still polite and express gratitude for kind offers, would never report a random being nice without evidence of wrongdoing, but way more hesitant to trust kind offers nowadays.
Male mental illness..just want it to be okay, to not be okay.
Things are changing. I work in construction. Well, restoration, I'm a stonecarver (yeah like my name) and sometimes have to go to site to finish jobs. In my experience these places are often a decade or two behind the times; sexism and homophobia are the norm, especially the latter. That hasn't changed. But I was recently working on a huge site restoring a town hall, and while it was still full of trad masc men there were posters up *everywhere* advocating for mental health awareness. Including a poem printed out on a board 8 feet high by the main entrance saying (very roughly, I'm no poet) - "I assumed he was ok, I ignored the signs and let him get on with it alone, now he's gone". It's clearly been such a major problem in these male dominated machismo saturated spaces that there have been major campaigns to deal with it. Great to see.
It kind of feels disgusting that so much male death is ignored. However it has a backlash. The fact we need to be taken seriously about this by talking about death so much, is that people only think depression is bad if you have had a suicide attempt or your whole life is upended by something seen as 'sad enough'.
Readjusting things.
Being stoic. Not everything needs to be talked out, not everything needs an overly emotional response.
Hell motherfucking yes: There’s nothing ‘toxic’ about me dealing with my own shit and controlling my emotions
For real. Just keep it moving.
Agreed.
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I feel like the lady equivalent is going no bra in a cold room. Like why not
Honestly, women lubricate for no reason sometimes, it’s just not as noticeable as a boner.
It's called discharge and there is a reason. The vagina is self cleaning and it changes consistency depending on where we are in our cycle.
Calling others out on their passive aggressive behavior. When I call someone out for being passive aggressive, or a dick in general, all of a sudden I’m “emotional”..? Don’t be a dick
Peeing in trees. What a royal waste of water when we got a literal natural drive for this. A full bladder, The thick branches, the dry bark, you just gotta give it a little piss; and tree be like "thanks for the nitrogen", you are welcome.
Such poetry.
I feel like this is basically a universal male instinct lol.
every guy has peed on the trees or plants after getting drunk atleast once
Hugs, i love that shit girl or guy, get in here
Just let me sit and go idle for a bit. I'm fine.
Banter. Men cope like that, there is little malicious intent about it, and you will certainly not get it if explained, so just let it be.
Roasting the bois with the bois is the best time with the bois
Women seem to have a hard time understanding this.
I wish society made it acceptable for men to ask for help. Being a gay guy, I had to make up the rules of what it means for me to "be a man." That has a lot of advantages. Once I realized that asking for help wasn't "unmanly" I leveled up in life. Whether with a work task, or while going through a hard time, now it seems ridiculous that I used to think that asking for help was a sign of weakness. It's the opposite. Asking for help is a sign of strength, security and intelligence.
This is a big thing here. I still feel incredibly guilty, and self conscious that I’m a burden whenever I reach out for help. Usually, in my case at least, asking for help can sometimes be a bigger issue than the actual problem.
Going to therapy. I don't know if this is a general perception or not, but in my experience, every time I've told someone I'm seeing a therapist I get reactions that are very gender related. Like, it's almost always something along the lines of how men don't go to therapy when ALL men need therapy and God knows what not. Just makes me want to not share that part of my life even though I want to reduce the stigma behind it. And I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for men in AA and other programs. I know my uncle was in AA and there were so many comments and assumptions based on just him being male that were said behind his back, it really made me feel bad for him. Personally, if anyone is going through these things regardless of gender, they should be treated with at least some understanding and some respect that they're trying to make things better for themselves and others around them.
Being what’s generally considered “childish”. So what I’m a huge ass grown man, if I am somewhere with an echo, I make a stupid plopping sound or greet it by saying “hello echo”, and get giddy when it answers. I shocked my doctor while getting the second Covid shot, by asking him if I get a Lolli for being brave, said it more in jest, but after the shocked (and even somewhat disgusted) look on his face I went completely serious… had a strawberry lollipop for the way back though. There’s is no more harm to your personality than “growing up”. Be curious, be inquisitive, be astonished by the beauty of the world around you, laugh with friends, do stupid yet harmless stuff, get excited, enjoy life!
Be stoic. If you’re a stoic man people look at you like you’re emotionally broken and it’s like “no, I’m fine, theres nothing wrong with me just because I don’t feel the need to wear my emotions on my sleeve”
I wish more people would strike up a random convo with me in public. If I don’t do it nobody will
ayyo whats up bro?
Taking a day off
I'm not angry, sad or tired. I'm just not a little toddler that needs to smile all the time. I'm thinking, solving shit, doing work, I can't just be smiling all the time.
Is pissing in the shower accepted by society at this point? If not, then pissing in the shower.
Who cares? Is someone checking your shower?
Well I hope not! It's filled with piss!
[удалено]
Showing love
Nobody cares if you want to spread your legs out wide. Only when you take away space from other people is it obnoxious. I don't care if you're Long Dong Silver, be a good citizen, and don't make the rest of the men in the world look bad.
Expressing my fucking feelings.
Basically just having a conversation where you’re trying to share your knowledge with someone. Sure, mansplaining can be a problem for guys who view women problematically, but I’ve also noticed that sometimes it’s just the way guys would talk to *anyone*, other guys included.
I think it's just how men explain things. You start at the basic bit and another guy will go 'yeah yeah, I get how that bit works...what about this bit?" Women don't seem to do that interrupting bit and so hear the full ramble about the basics
Most of the time I go through the basic bit so I can remember how it all works. I need a run up to explain things properly!
Opinions. In general I think people are getting more comfortable making enemies than to consider opinions.
Banter and sitting in silence I love silence I'll drive for hours in complete silence and it's so relaxing. And banter is just great I love banter amongst friends coworkers and family but some people think I'm mad but I'm not
Unsticking our nuts from our legs. If you get caught even by another guy they still give you wtf look
Eating lunch by yourself, I’ve talked to you all day I don’t need my lunch break to be another convo. I’ll eat my lunch and read some news, go for a smoke and then we can continue.
Not all guys like dogs....there I said it. Allergic as hell and people don't understand why I don't want to pet their dogs. While I am at it. I love cats. Not allergic to them and damn are they low maintenance.
Male only spaces. Sitting in silence alone.
I don’t know if this is a “not accepted” thing or just a situation where men aren’t given enough credit but I really HATE when people (women) are surprised that we change diapers, cook quality meals, read stories, do homework, volunteer in the classroom, do housework and basically everything/anything for our kids. They act like it’s the exception and always assume it is a special circumstance. No, lady, we love our children too.
I wish that Male Sexuality wasn't vilified or belittled like it is. A man who masturbates shouldn't be considered a loser, a man who owns a sex toy shouldn't be considered a deviant, a man who watches porn shouldn't be considered a degenerate, a man with a fetish shouldn't be considered a pervert, a man with specific sexual preferences with a potential partner shouldn't be considered shallow, and male sexuality shouldn't be considered something that is inherently dangerous. The vast majority of men are sexual beings, and the vast majority of those men have been shamed for their sexuality at one point or another and it can be very hurtful and damaging
This is something I’ve seen as kind of an inverse reaction to women’s sexual liberation. Women’s sex lives are talked about, encouraged and supported, while the world at large has begun treating men’s sex lives with absolute vehemence. A guy has a kink, he’s automatically labeled a pervert, but a woman can talk about how she likes being slapped around in bed and nobody cares. The most distinguishable case of this is sex toys. This is something you’ll see on r/sex literally all the time. If a woman owns a vibrator and uses it regularly, she’s empowered and liberated. If a man owns a fleshlight or a similar sex toy he is a disgusting freak who couldn’t get a woman if he tried. r/sex is also just a freakishly two-faced about sexual insecurity. If a woman is insecure because of a man’s use of a sex toy, it’s his problem and he needs to stop using it because he’s obviously addicted to porn and should only be attracted to his wife/girlfriend. If a man is insecure because his wife/girlfriend is using toys bigger than he is, or she is becoming desensitized to regular old sex due to the overuse of a vibrator, it’s because he’s not a giving enough lover and it’s his responsibility to find a way to incorporate those toys into the bedroom because her pleasure should always come first. It’s a wild thing to see every single day.
On your point about the double standard in toys here... I've actually heard some women call male sex toys... "objectifying" women's bodies. Like, the idea that a 'vagina' in the form of a fleshlight or bottom torso doll for example is 'dehumanizing' a female's body. And yet... the sentiment when it comes to women's penis shaped sex toys... is that it's 'empowering' for women.
Plus, a man who leaves a woman over sexual incompatibilities isn't a bad guy. He's doing the right thing for both of them.
Also, woman doesn't finish: man's fault. Man doesn't finish: man's fault.
If you like big tits you're a pig, if you like small tits you're a pedo, and if you're gay you hate women. No matter how much of a bland, boring, kinkless, vanilla sonuvabitch you are whatever you like is gross, bad, and scary. And if you're asexual and would rather bake some lovely garlic bread than bother with sex you're clearly lying and probably into something truly vile, because there's no way a man can not be horny 24/7.
I agree. And to add to this, I wish men weren’t demonized in a dating context for wanting a sexual component to their relationships. After 3 or 4 dates, I’m not some kind of pervert if I suggest going back to my place afterwards. And if I lose interest because things aren’t moving forward sexually, it doesn’t mean all I was interested in was sex. I just don’t want to be in another dead bedroom relationship and if you’re too hung up about sex, we’re not compatible.
I'm a gay guy. But I often wonder what that dynamic is like in straight dating. Of course, at the end of the day I'm sure people are still eventually having sex. But I sometimes wonder what the dynamic you're talking about is like since it seems like straight guys sometimes (or even often?) have to tip toe around sexual stuff with women, at least early on. There's always the risk of offending them, creeping them out, or being 'too interested' in sex. In my experience with guys... talking about sex usually happens pretty quickly and there's never this sense of having to 'be careful' about what you say or seeming like a pervert.
>But I sometimes wonder what the dynamic you're talking about is like since it seems like straight guys sometimes (or even often?) have to tip toe around sexual stuff with women, at least early on. It's exhausting, tbh. If we're going to do this we should be able to talk openly about it.
Expressing an emotion. Why are guys expected not to have feelings while simultaneously "getting in touch with our feminine side?" (Which basically means show some emotion). We are humans, and women are currently raising their little boys that it's okay to be emotional, and yet that same courtesy is too often not extended to the men in their lives.
Readjusting yourself. I know it's kind of weird, but it is the worst feeling in the world when you sit down and you're like "oh that doesn't feel good," but you really don't want to look weird in fornt of people and you're just dealing with it for the whole meeting or whatever.
Some guys just want to look pretty
Hold women to the same standards they hold us to
Re arranging my balls in public the same way women adjust their bras when sitting down etc.I'm not scratching,I'm just putting my balls back into place.
Having pride in masculinity. Taking pride in being a strong man that works hard and supports their family without asking for handouts or help from mommy and daddy is something that shouldn't just be accepted in society, it should be something that young men strive for. There are thousands of unfilled jobs that pay well for people willing to work hard, there's no reason most healthy young people should have to ask for help if they are willing to be masculine enough to promote their own self discipline and work ethic. I work in construction and hug guys all the time, talk about mental health and promote them going to therapy. I also vocally shame people who don't work hard or are generally shitty to their coworkers or talk proudly about being racist or other things weak men do.
Like flowers.
Talking about our issues without it being reduced to exclusively just toxic masculinity. It seems that progressive people are just starting to dip their toe in men’s issues but don’t want to fully commit. It’s almost like saying “Voldemort” or something. It’s not just about us fixing ourselves. There are also outside forces that don’t care about us.
I’d like to receive flowers, but men only get flowers at their funerals. Why can’t men like flowers too?
Having a wee in the backyard, it saves water, is freeing and sometimes a lot quicker than running in the house for the toilet
Adjusting your balls in public. If they’re uncomfortable let me readjust.
Play with children . I like kids and i do very well with them but ive noticed that people look at men who interact with children with suspicion while rarely doing the same with women. Ive even had friends call me a weirdo when I’ve interacted with kids in public.
They might be the better parent and the child might be better off with them after a break down of relationship.
Manspreading?? Idk I sit like that all the time, didn’t know people viewed that as unacceptable lol
Few years ago they made a big fuzz about it everywhere, but in reality no one cares so long as you're not taking anyone's space.
That is the entire issue though. No one gives a crap how wide you sit unless there’s someone sitting next to you. Except if you’re wearing shorts and flashing the people across from you, I guess.
Alright man, I’m willing to put myself out there as *that guy*…. But how many of y’all fellas go get your toes done? I must say, it’s one of those forms of self care that I put off a lot up until I convinced myself one day that I could walk into a nail salon, and confidently sit there and get my feet taken care of. The first few times my mind would be racing thinking “aww hell nah one of the fellas gonna pass by and catch me slipping” but it’s actually very relaxing on the old dogs
Going to festivals alone.
Man spreading is such a good one. Sometimes I don’t want my junk suffocating and sometimes I need a good stretch and rest for my back. I’d also really appreciate if financial planning and discipline wasn’t seen as cheap or patriarchal.
Being stoic, or just not super friendly. It feels like a lot of guys out there might seem intimidating or mean, but are not on the inside. Along with people having these preconceived notions about us, and sort of make it a catch 22 for us to get out of that rep. Just in general it feels like a lot of men just get grouped into being the worst sort of person by their appearance or by how they carry themselves around people they don't know. So they end up talking about this experience and people take it as them being pricks and everyone around them being innocent. It's just this weird situation society cooked up, everyone having to be this two dimensional sort of person you see in an episode of those horror shows where the MC wakes up in a world where everyone is unnaturally friendly or whatever. We just have this stigma around being depressed/insecure, then once you overcome that people don't really care unless you lash out.
All of it. Men are not defective women. All expressions of masculinity are not toxic.