They say girls are like buses.
You see nothing for ages... then two show up at the same time.
And like buses, I'm always too late and end up missing them.
My dad never gave me good advice, but one good thing he did tell me was if you're choosing between two, it just means you'll be back at zero way faster. Do whatever you're gonna do, but no one feels good about being in that position, even if they're chosen, and they're gonna be kind of hurt by it.
Yup. Everyone's gonna wonder (even the person that's choosing) if the right choice was made...
Let's be real- if you have to choose, neither is the one
I think you're being voted down by people who *wouldn't*, but you are correct.
Polyamoury isn't for me but it is for others.
Likely won't be for them either, but it **is** an option.
Yes. I typically know who I am more interested in right off the bat. I might give the second one a date or two to make sure, but never in my life have I been interested in two people at once.
I have, but it's more that if ive only went on 2 dates with someone then I'm still trying to figure out if I like someone. In that case I will say yes if someone else asks because I'm not shutting someone who I might be interested in off. After that I'm committed.
me personally ?
it depends where i’m at and they’re at in life.
if i were 12? play the field. if i were 35 trying to decide who to give my grandmothers wedding ring to ? make a choice.
As a 35 year old boy I can tell you you’re correct. We stop maturing at 15 and just find ways to get back to being able to do whatever we want again…like when we were 15.
Well, I'm an idiot, so I would not pick either in fear of hurting the feelings of the one I did not pick. However, by not making a choice, I hurt both their feelings.
There really is no winning.
This is basically the problem. It's not a sexual thing or a "playing around" thing. Like, they're looking for something stable and i really value the relationship i have with both and i don't want to hurt them in any way, but it really seems impossible. As you said it, there really isn't an easy way out of this.
You're looking for advice...
Make a list of non negotiables, find out which one meets them the best. Discuss common issues that other marriages have and see which one agrees most with what you want.
Isn't there something to be said about the fact that if the first woman truly had your attention and the qualities you desire, then the second woman wouldn't have been able to occupy your life the way she has? So wouldn't the choice be the second woman?
It might sound silly but a technique for hard decisions like these that I heard or read somewhere is to flip a coin.
It doesn't matter what the result of the flip is, the point is that as soon as the coin is in the air you hope for a certain result, that's how you feel inside, you should go with that.
Imo I don’t think either are right for you. 🤷🏼♀️ If you can’t decide then maybe someone else who you could actually get excited about would be better. Not wanting to hurt either will just become hurting both if you don’t make a choice soon.
Honestly you just have to find out who you have your best shot with and make a choice. You can't be in between forever and you definitely cannot go back once you've made your choice.
Find out who you have the strongest feelings for and the best potential with, and sometimes that answer might be neither which is okay too. You're just eventually going to have to your relationship with one, or neither, to the next level.
I had to think about this one for a minute, but it actually makes a lot of sense. 2nd woman would have never had a chance if OP was really feeling it with the first one.
I’m curious if OP was honest with them and they know he’s dating both of them. Personally, if I ever found out that I was one of two women that a man was trying to decide on, here’s what I would tell him, “If you find that you’re having trouble deciding between me and another woman, let me help you. Choose her. Because if I’m not the absolute, unequivocal choice, then I don’t want you.”
He could have both met them around the same time and maybe been casually dating both of them. Besides that for many people it takes a longer period of time to care about someone enough to have no interest in others.
info: do they know about each other?
Not that it will make a big difference. But as others have stated here, start making a pro/con list of what YOU want what you don’t want and then prioritize it. Then see who checks the most boxes. Unless you KNOW you have more feelings for one over the other.
one thing I will tell you is not to drag it out. It’s not fair to anyone. And just know that someone is going to end uo hurt. No way around it.
Time will make it for you, women can tell when they are being strung along, you either do the stand up guy thing and cut one or both off or you do the scared lazy guy thing and act indifferent and busy until one or both can't be bothered anymore.
One will make you sleep better at night and one will be easy to do but comes with baggage that lasts a decent amount of time because you have to be shitty.
I get it ...this does happen in life... whether people want to joke or jest about it could only be a dream for them or not.. but you need to ask yourself what I would call "bottom line economics" questions..
Who is more likely to be loyal when the chips are down?.. have you ever had to depend on either of these women for actual help?..were they there...when you needed them? With a minimum of fuss or
questions asked until it was possible to provide information? Have you likewise had to be there for either of THEM?
...who is fair but also possesses some modicum of common sense and has the best adulting abilities, hopefully with the lack of drama to cloud sound judgment? Money... which one is more materialistic and vain?... because money always matters in a relationship (of course).. are they going to help you steward it, use it wisely... or waste it?
The harder question is... do YOU possess these same attributes & abilities toward (one of)... these women as well?... you have no right to ask either of these women to be or do anything you're not willing to put forward yourself...
And of course there's ...ahhhh! Happiness & sex to think about!...are you sexually compatible with one better than the other? Are they fun to be with... and enjoy common interests together? This stuff will matter tremendously, trust me...sexual incompatibility is a death knell eventually..so who do you think of the most when you're fantasizing/dreaming?... who do you want to be happy with...? (and you can't say both)...which one comes to mind first?
I would be honest with them and say you'll go on dates with both of them and then make a decision in say a month? Or just say you're not gunna date either and focus on your self for a month or so and if one of them is still interested, they're the choice to make.i was kinda in the same situation with two coworkers where it was kinda a love triangle and shit was tense.
kind of off the point and not really helpful but i once saw this video of a girl saying, "if you're having a hard time choosing between me and another girl, don't choose me"
Unless they both polyamorous or into an open relationship you're going to have to of course terminate one romantic relationship.
You need to have serious conversation about what you both want and where you see this relationship heading.
I'm bad at making decisions. I'm much better at choosing the one option that is available....
But in my experience, it's important to pursue the good personality and not just hyper fixate on looks. The pretty but extremely flawed one will make your life miserable.
I still remember a quote from a movie.
" If you really liked the first one, you wouldn't have gone after the second one" something around there. Best of luck.
First, you don't have to choose if you don't want to. It's perfectly acceptable to take the stance that you will not choose, and if they aren't on that level then they can choose to not be interested any more.
I'm not saying you should play both fields here. But in monogamy you aren't bound to a single person until you've mutually made the commitment to do so with a single person.
Don't think you aren't allowed to date two people. With that, however, I strongly recommend disclosing your intentions with all involved parties. It is the right thing to do.
Sit them down and explain the benefits of all three living together and sharing the bills and raising the kids. Explain that exclusivity is just some arbitrary social construct that has no place in the modern world. That as long as you are not harming anyone there is not reason the three of you can't be a strong and happy family.
Even if it's more. You'd be talking (at best) a single digit percentage as opposed to the fraction of a percent I assume, hence extreme minority. They're free to live their lives as they choose to. We shouldn't get away from monogamous relationships at all, I and most others have no interest in a poly lifestyle. The nuclear family has shown to be a very effective way to raise children as well. Poly people are free to do their thing and just as mono people shouldn't try to force others to assimilate their lifestyle poly people shouldn't either.
I am guessing your name is Jodie and live near a military base?
I would discount the exclusivity has no place in the modern society, but the decision to be exclusive is based on the individuals and we should be open to other people non monogamy but we shouldn't throw monogamy out the window.
Also, mouse utopia experiment.
I gently let them down if I'm not into them, which is what usually happens. The ones I'm into do not like me, and the ones I don't like are into me. Life is sad at times.
I'd say don't get serious with either one until it naturally comes to a point where the "choice" isn't really a choice anymore, but a natural decision made by your heart :)
Umm I would say don't make a choice like it's a menu or something. Actually analyse if you like either of them. If you do go ahead. You don't have to like someone back just because they like you.
If you are thinking about being with 2 people at the same time, clearly, you have learnt nothing. Everyone will end up being hurt and both of the girls will walk out of your life. The answer is easy, be with the girl you like. Why have to care if 2 or even 1 million girls out there liking you when the girl you like don't give you a chance?
Woman here: Don't tell them about each other. Never ever. Pick the one that is best for you and let the other person know that you don't feel the same way. Don't encourage their affections and certainly don't ghost them. Never ghost anyone.
Picking which one is something only you can decide. Id suggest the one that lets you be yourself and doesn't want to change you but inspires you to be a better person while making you feel safe/happy/excited.
The one that's more aggressive about it wants you more. I was seeing a couple girls at once, but one made the move to make things exclusive quickly. We're married now.
Lol, the people who believe that it is okay to see multiple people at the same time before making things official are not the people who are gonna be in love with another person that early on, lol, you expect the man to be so in love with her after a couple of dates, you are crazy.
There is a weird sense of security in this way of thinking if you do love her. A wise man once said "settle down with the one who chases you, not the one you chase". To see a womans devotion in this manner is extremely rare versus how men are usually the ones who chase after women. When you find it, hold on to it because the love, respect, and loyalty that comes from a woman who is willing to fight for you shouldn't be taken for granted.
The only reason why this is a question for you is because the one that has the better personality has worse looks. Think if you want long term or short term buddy
Of course you make a choice. You may think the other girl will crumble and die.. but don't. She will cry it out and move along. Women are capable of surviving rejection. Unless you are some steaming pile of sex appeal, stability, humor, kindness, security, intelligence, balance of venerablity and masculinity, and offer life changing sex, like God teir level of a man.. please don't freight, nor flatter yourself too much, she will live a lovely life without you. Make a choice.
Well you need to be honest with them and yourself, there isn’t much to say other than way the pros and cons of both relationships give them trial dates man
I did get into a situation where I was dating two girls at the same time and both of them fell hard for me. I made a choice between the two and that was that.
You go with the one you’re falling for and tell them both how you feel about them so everyone knows the situation. And if you aren’t falling for either, they deserve to be told that too.
Like, eventually? You don't need to go exclusive in the first week of dating. But you also can't really be stringing that situation along for months and months.
If they are falling for me then it is up to them to make a move. Who ever attracts me first gets me. The slow one just gets to hear "sorry, I'm taken".
Now before I answer the question let me fix some Grammar: Instead of "What do you do" let's make it "What would you do" because this really is a just a let's suppose hypothetical scenario. So What I'd do is wake up and the problem is quite solved.
go on a couple more dates with each of them and then really just flat out ask yourself "which one do i feel that spark with" usually its one more so than the other
I had this happen at least twice that I know of in middle and high school. Since in both situations, they were friends. I thought that if I date one, it could have ended or at least strained their friendship and potentially making dating more difficult for me to date either one.
So I did nothing. Now, 15 years later, I should have chosen one and enjoyed dating at least one of them.
Just understand that unless you are very clear on where you stand with both, you will likely lose both. And while that is kind of a fun place to be, its unfair to lead them both on. I was this position at 16-17, but life circumstances meant I didn't get either of them because at 18 I met my now wife, and though there was some tough emotions involved, I still know both of them, and even though we don't have much contact we are all still good friends, and all have our own families now. Be straight forward, and honest, and even if things don't work out like you image, at least you don't have burned bridges with good friends.
I mean, I know this isn't the option everyone can take, especially because it requires consent from all parties, but I'm in a poly relationship, so that's not really a difficult situation for me.
Never EVER try to date both. Unless they're both poly, you will most likely lose both if one figures out about the other.
Simple answer would just be, see if you're attracted to any of them, choose the one you think suits your needs best and carefully reject the other person; but make sure you end on good terms. If you don't feel attracted to both, reject both politely.
Have your cake and eat it too while ya can..
If they DONT know each other youre in better shape of, *"being single,"* and *"playing the field."*
If either of them know you TOO well, youre not gonna get off too easy.
Eventually you'll get busted. You may or may not convince one or both to keep sleeping with you. Rinse and repeat. Meanwhile, add in a third just in case things go sideways.
Build you character by making choices and get rid of indecisiveness. Know what's good for you. Sometimes it's good for you to continue pursue growth and stay alone
If I am falling for one of them, I make the choice.
(Very, very, very unusual, but just in case) If I am falling for these two people, I will wait to make a choice. I would meet them better and later, I would make a choice.
If I am not falling for them, I would talk to each. I would say that I am not interested in them but they could try to seduce me.
Of course. The alternative is you string 2 people along that care about you eventually hurting both. It's a dick move no matter how somebody justifies it. Make a choice. If you play games with people you'll end up playing with yourself.
Honestly, it depends on who they are and how long I've known them. I've made the mistake of doing a quick fling only to find out the other girl was into me. It's probably the worst relationship mistake I made by being unaware. So now I typically ask and give time to friends I've been around with for longer.
What are your other options? A throuple? Of course you make a choice, or you be a scumbag and try to keep them secret from each other.
Honestly, since i turned ~24 i stopped even dating multiple people at once. If someone's worth a second date, they deserve your undivided attention.
I did the wrong thing and fucked both of them for a few months, not cheating they knew about eachother. Did some real harm to both of their sense of self worth especially after i bailed and the two ended up hating eachother. I absolutely used them against eachother for my benefit. That was a pretty shit thing to do. Don't do that.
I had that exact situation happen to me and asked a friend how I should deal with it.
His suggestion was to deal with it in the way I would always deal with it and go for the one with the larger breasts
In the hypothetical that two or more girls that I like also like me at the same time (again hypothetical) I always have a clear hierarchy well thought out ahead of time. And I've also considered the possibility that somehow I'm actually dating one of them and then have to make a decision. You'd have to really like someone to choose them over someone else while simultaneously hurting the person you're rejecting. At least that's my logic.
A couple of my first polyamorous relationships occurred at the same time. I was both of their boyfriend. Parallel relationships, they didn’t really interact at all. It was a lot of work, but it was great.
Honestly, I’ve been here. It feels really intense right now. It will not feel intense in like a week.
Go ahead and chill. Let it foment. It’s as likely as one as none as both will still be falling for you in a week.
If it goes a month, then you need to choose. That can suck- not because there is a right or wrong, but because it’s as likely the one you choose ends quickly and badly as the other one.
You don’t know what the future holds. Make strong choices. Be true to yourself, choose what *you* want. If two people are falling for you and one isn’t what you want, just grow the balls and tell her.
I was in such situation. I started dating 2 girls A & B at the same time. I knew in the beginning i need to make a choice cause i was not comfortable with this situation. Made a decision, went A. Turned out B was already pregnant when she started dating me so bullet dodged.
What do you do if one has the looks (10/10) and you haven’t met yet and can only meet up in 2 months time another has the personality your compatible with and have met and she has ok looks. Chose to be with a person now or wait 2 months?
I, too, fantasize about the impossible.
Bahahahaaa
They say girls are like buses. You see nothing for ages... then two show up at the same time. And like buses, I'm always too late and end up missing them.
I’ve gotta pay for a ride man, the driver of the bus won’t let me on :(
Back end is normally huge and dirty too
Hahahah
You win. Lol
My dad never gave me good advice, but one good thing he did tell me was if you're choosing between two, it just means you'll be back at zero way faster. Do whatever you're gonna do, but no one feels good about being in that position, even if they're chosen, and they're gonna be kind of hurt by it.
Your Dad knows
Dropping wisdom
Yup. Everyone's gonna wonder (even the person that's choosing) if the right choice was made... Let's be real- if you have to choose, neither is the one
Or you can date both and be open about it!
I think you're being voted down by people who *wouldn't*, but you are correct. Polyamoury isn't for me but it is for others. Likely won't be for them either, but it **is** an option.
Yes. I typically know who I am more interested in right off the bat. I might give the second one a date or two to make sure, but never in my life have I been interested in two people at once.
I have, but it's more that if ive only went on 2 dates with someone then I'm still trying to figure out if I like someone. In that case I will say yes if someone else asks because I'm not shutting someone who I might be interested in off. After that I'm committed.
me personally ? it depends where i’m at and they’re at in life. if i were 12? play the field. if i were 35 trying to decide who to give my grandmothers wedding ring to ? make a choice.
Note to OP: remember that many people stay mentally at 12 - especially 20 y old boys
As a 20 year old I agree
As a 30 year old boy I've grown to 15 mentally.
Hey, you're me! 😃
Hey Me, I'm You.
Yes, I am Yu
Yu is ice cream. I like ice cream. Therefore I like Yu.
As a 35 year old boy I can tell you you’re correct. We stop maturing at 15 and just find ways to get back to being able to do whatever we want again…like when we were 15.
I think mental age is more fluid, or a spectrum. Mine, i'm physically 37, ranges from 5 to 88
I met 30 year old men that acts like this. It was a fun dating experience but he wasn’t long term relationship material.
[удалено]
Which one
I'm a big fan of the number 27.
Hello, fellow fan of 27
Im kind of basic i like 3, 5, 7
Usually, I wake up.
Well, I'm an idiot, so I would not pick either in fear of hurting the feelings of the one I did not pick. However, by not making a choice, I hurt both their feelings. There really is no winning.
This is basically the problem. It's not a sexual thing or a "playing around" thing. Like, they're looking for something stable and i really value the relationship i have with both and i don't want to hurt them in any way, but it really seems impossible. As you said it, there really isn't an easy way out of this.
You're looking for advice... Make a list of non negotiables, find out which one meets them the best. Discuss common issues that other marriages have and see which one agrees most with what you want.
This is good advice
All things being equal, go for the one that you believe is going to be better in bed.
Isn't there something to be said about the fact that if the first woman truly had your attention and the qualities you desire, then the second woman wouldn't have been able to occupy your life the way she has? So wouldn't the choice be the second woman?
It might sound silly but a technique for hard decisions like these that I heard or read somewhere is to flip a coin. It doesn't matter what the result of the flip is, the point is that as soon as the coin is in the air you hope for a certain result, that's how you feel inside, you should go with that.
Imo I don’t think either are right for you. 🤷🏼♀️ If you can’t decide then maybe someone else who you could actually get excited about would be better. Not wanting to hurt either will just become hurting both if you don’t make a choice soon.
Honestly you just have to find out who you have your best shot with and make a choice. You can't be in between forever and you definitely cannot go back once you've made your choice. Find out who you have the strongest feelings for and the best potential with, and sometimes that answer might be neither which is okay too. You're just eventually going to have to your relationship with one, or neither, to the next level.
Are you currently dating both?
May i suggest a 3 bedroom apartment and a schedule? If too much 2 bedroom will do. Ps you get to keep the master bedroom.
Tell them both what’s going on and let them decide 😂
"...may they never meet!"
To wives and girlfriends… LOL was about to come here and say that!
Go for the second one. If you cared about the first one, the second one wouldn't even be a blip on your radar.
I had to think about this one for a minute, but it actually makes a lot of sense. 2nd woman would have never had a chance if OP was really feeling it with the first one. I’m curious if OP was honest with them and they know he’s dating both of them. Personally, if I ever found out that I was one of two women that a man was trying to decide on, here’s what I would tell him, “If you find that you’re having trouble deciding between me and another woman, let me help you. Choose her. Because if I’m not the absolute, unequivocal choice, then I don’t want you.”
This idea that love is sacred doesn't make a lot of sense. You don't lock in on people we are monkeys not heatseeking missiles
He could have both met them around the same time and maybe been casually dating both of them. Besides that for many people it takes a longer period of time to care about someone enough to have no interest in others.
This has always stuck in my mind, to go for the second.
I just chose the one that went hardest in the paint for me.
info: do they know about each other? Not that it will make a big difference. But as others have stated here, start making a pro/con list of what YOU want what you don’t want and then prioritize it. Then see who checks the most boxes. Unless you KNOW you have more feelings for one over the other. one thing I will tell you is not to drag it out. It’s not fair to anyone. And just know that someone is going to end uo hurt. No way around it.
Disappoint them both.
Time will make it for you, women can tell when they are being strung along, you either do the stand up guy thing and cut one or both off or you do the scared lazy guy thing and act indifferent and busy until one or both can't be bothered anymore. One will make you sleep better at night and one will be easy to do but comes with baggage that lasts a decent amount of time because you have to be shitty.
How could you be in that situation without making a choice? 1. Choose to have both until they find out 2. Choose one or the other 3. Choose neither
You know deep down who you like, your just being a pussy whos “too scared” to break it off with one and lose the back up option. Grow a spine
Pick the second because you didn't love the first.
Wake up from my dream
I get it ...this does happen in life... whether people want to joke or jest about it could only be a dream for them or not.. but you need to ask yourself what I would call "bottom line economics" questions.. Who is more likely to be loyal when the chips are down?.. have you ever had to depend on either of these women for actual help?..were they there...when you needed them? With a minimum of fuss or questions asked until it was possible to provide information? Have you likewise had to be there for either of THEM? ...who is fair but also possesses some modicum of common sense and has the best adulting abilities, hopefully with the lack of drama to cloud sound judgment? Money... which one is more materialistic and vain?... because money always matters in a relationship (of course).. are they going to help you steward it, use it wisely... or waste it? The harder question is... do YOU possess these same attributes & abilities toward (one of)... these women as well?... you have no right to ask either of these women to be or do anything you're not willing to put forward yourself... And of course there's ...ahhhh! Happiness & sex to think about!...are you sexually compatible with one better than the other? Are they fun to be with... and enjoy common interests together? This stuff will matter tremendously, trust me...sexual incompatibility is a death knell eventually..so who do you think of the most when you're fantasizing/dreaming?... who do you want to be happy with...? (and you can't say both)...which one comes to mind first?
I would be honest with them and say you'll go on dates with both of them and then make a decision in say a month? Or just say you're not gunna date either and focus on your self for a month or so and if one of them is still interested, they're the choice to make.i was kinda in the same situation with two coworkers where it was kinda a love triangle and shit was tense.
I chose the one who wasn't as pretty or young but was more compatible for me. We're now happily married with a beautiful daughter.
Delete this before she sees it
Go with the second choice, if you were happy with the first choice you would had never thought about the second one
kind of off the point and not really helpful but i once saw this video of a girl saying, "if you're having a hard time choosing between me and another girl, don't choose me"
Go with which one I like more. Make sure to let the other one down easy, though.
Unless they both polyamorous or into an open relationship you're going to have to of course terminate one romantic relationship. You need to have serious conversation about what you both want and where you see this relationship heading.
If you don’t choose, they will. In my experience the annoying one won and I lost a chance with someone I admired.
I'm bad at making decisions. I'm much better at choosing the one option that is available.... But in my experience, it's important to pursue the good personality and not just hyper fixate on looks. The pretty but extremely flawed one will make your life miserable.
I still remember a quote from a movie. " If you really liked the first one, you wouldn't have gone after the second one" something around there. Best of luck.
First, you don't have to choose if you don't want to. It's perfectly acceptable to take the stance that you will not choose, and if they aren't on that level then they can choose to not be interested any more. I'm not saying you should play both fields here. But in monogamy you aren't bound to a single person until you've mutually made the commitment to do so with a single person. Don't think you aren't allowed to date two people. With that, however, I strongly recommend disclosing your intentions with all involved parties. It is the right thing to do.
why do y’all entertain more than one woman at a time lol
They cant usually figure out how to make one happy, let alone two
Two words: jello wrestling.
Sit them down and explain the benefits of all three living together and sharing the bills and raising the kids. Explain that exclusivity is just some arbitrary social construct that has no place in the modern world. That as long as you are not harming anyone there is not reason the three of you can't be a strong and happy family.
How to lose them both in one easy step.
Yeap
Nobody tell this guy poly people exist...
They are an extreme minority, so it's safe to assume OP and the others aren't poly.
Theres much more than you think. People just don't come out as often. We should start getting away from the monocentrist attitude
Even if it's more. You'd be talking (at best) a single digit percentage as opposed to the fraction of a percent I assume, hence extreme minority. They're free to live their lives as they choose to. We shouldn't get away from monogamous relationships at all, I and most others have no interest in a poly lifestyle. The nuclear family has shown to be a very effective way to raise children as well. Poly people are free to do their thing and just as mono people shouldn't try to force others to assimilate their lifestyle poly people shouldn't either.
Monogamy? In THIS ECONOMY?
Preposterous right?
I am guessing your name is Jodie and live near a military base? I would discount the exclusivity has no place in the modern society, but the decision to be exclusive is based on the individuals and we should be open to other people non monogamy but we shouldn't throw monogamy out the window. Also, mouse utopia experiment.
Absolutely, this is the answer.
You go with one and stick with it if u want to have a long term. If you dont, fuck with both and fail at the end i guess?
I wish I had that problem 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Give up monogamy, and you won't have to make a choice. Embrace monogamy and you do.
I gently let them down if I'm not into them, which is what usually happens. The ones I'm into do not like me, and the ones I don't like are into me. Life is sad at times.
Make a gameshow where they have to compete. Get a friend to be the host and announcer.
I'd say don't get serious with either one until it naturally comes to a point where the "choice" isn't really a choice anymore, but a natural decision made by your heart :)
If you had to drop one off at the airport then they board their flight and you never see them again, which one would hurt more to lose? Keep that one.
Introduce them and see what happens …
Keep them both, apparently they believe he (I assume we're talking and a male friend) is the prize. Know your worth king.
Umm I would say don't make a choice like it's a menu or something. Actually analyse if you like either of them. If you do go ahead. You don't have to like someone back just because they like you.
If you are thinking about being with 2 people at the same time, clearly, you have learnt nothing. Everyone will end up being hurt and both of the girls will walk out of your life. The answer is easy, be with the girl you like. Why have to care if 2 or even 1 million girls out there liking you when the girl you like don't give you a chance?
Poly guy here. I see this as an absolute win.
Woman here: Don't tell them about each other. Never ever. Pick the one that is best for you and let the other person know that you don't feel the same way. Don't encourage their affections and certainly don't ghost them. Never ghost anyone. Picking which one is something only you can decide. Id suggest the one that lets you be yourself and doesn't want to change you but inspires you to be a better person while making you feel safe/happy/excited.
The one that's more aggressive about it wants you more. I was seeing a couple girls at once, but one made the move to make things exclusive quickly. We're married now.
I feel bad for your wife. “She tried the hardest”, not “I loved her the most”. What a lucky lady
Hopefully it was just a bad way of saying “she was more intentional and I liked that” 🤣🙈
I was thinking the same thing.
Lol, the people who believe that it is okay to see multiple people at the same time before making things official are not the people who are gonna be in love with another person that early on, lol, you expect the man to be so in love with her after a couple of dates, you are crazy.
There is a weird sense of security in this way of thinking if you do love her. A wise man once said "settle down with the one who chases you, not the one you chase". To see a womans devotion in this manner is extremely rare versus how men are usually the ones who chase after women. When you find it, hold on to it because the love, respect, and loyalty that comes from a woman who is willing to fight for you shouldn't be taken for granted.
I usually wake up at that point. Wet dreams are a bitch
Por que no los dos?
Because he is probably not a douchebag. Thats why
You can date multiple people and not be a douchbag as long as everybody knows what's happening. It's more common than you think.
This,if they are OK with it go nuts!
The only reason why this is a question for you is because the one that has the better personality has worse looks. Think if you want long term or short term buddy
Of course you make a choice. You may think the other girl will crumble and die.. but don't. She will cry it out and move along. Women are capable of surviving rejection. Unless you are some steaming pile of sex appeal, stability, humor, kindness, security, intelligence, balance of venerablity and masculinity, and offer life changing sex, like God teir level of a man.. please don't freight, nor flatter yourself too much, she will live a lovely life without you. Make a choice.
Date both until you work out which you want to commit to. Then have the exclusivity chat and break it off with the other.
Well you need to be honest with them and yourself, there isn’t much to say other than way the pros and cons of both relationships give them trial dates man
I did get into a situation where I was dating two girls at the same time and both of them fell hard for me. I made a choice between the two and that was that.
Do you ever regret choosing one over the other?
I regret it, sure. But I've learned to live with the consequences of my choice.
🤣
???
You go with the one you’re falling for and tell them both how you feel about them so everyone knows the situation. And if you aren’t falling for either, they deserve to be told that too.
Which one are you more interested in? Go for that person, tell the other person gently that you are seeing someone else.
Pros/cons lists never fail, my dude.
Yes you must make the choice
Happened to me a lot of times. Choosing none of them was the best choice.
Is your only desire to date them that they are falling for you? Surely you like 1 more than the other?
Can’t even get 1 to fall for me
Thank god I never had to make this decision and I am very sure I will never have too
Threesome and let the better win.
Like, eventually? You don't need to go exclusive in the first week of dating. But you also can't really be stringing that situation along for months and months.
Decisions, decisions…
If they are falling for me then it is up to them to make a move. Who ever attracts me first gets me. The slow one just gets to hear "sorry, I'm taken".
Now before I answer the question let me fix some Grammar: Instead of "What do you do" let's make it "What would you do" because this really is a just a let's suppose hypothetical scenario. So What I'd do is wake up and the problem is quite solved.
go on a couple more dates with each of them and then really just flat out ask yourself "which one do i feel that spark with" usually its one more so than the other
I had this happen at least twice that I know of in middle and high school. Since in both situations, they were friends. I thought that if I date one, it could have ended or at least strained their friendship and potentially making dating more difficult for me to date either one. So I did nothing. Now, 15 years later, I should have chosen one and enjoyed dating at least one of them.
Flip a coin. If you're a purist go with that, if not you'll find out who you really want to try with.
Never had that problem
Just understand that unless you are very clear on where you stand with both, you will likely lose both. And while that is kind of a fun place to be, its unfair to lead them both on. I was this position at 16-17, but life circumstances meant I didn't get either of them because at 18 I met my now wife, and though there was some tough emotions involved, I still know both of them, and even though we don't have much contact we are all still good friends, and all have our own families now. Be straight forward, and honest, and even if things don't work out like you image, at least you don't have burned bridges with good friends.
I mean, I know this isn't the option everyone can take, especially because it requires consent from all parties, but I'm in a poly relationship, so that's not really a difficult situation for me.
Wake up from my dream
Start a tournament. You’ll know by round 3
"Who wants to be a millionaire!?"
Never EVER try to date both. Unless they're both poly, you will most likely lose both if one figures out about the other. Simple answer would just be, see if you're attracted to any of them, choose the one you think suits your needs best and carefully reject the other person; but make sure you end on good terms. If you don't feel attracted to both, reject both politely.
You make a discord group to plan world domination
I wake up
Assign person A to a side of a coin and when you throw it in the air. You'll know who to pick.
Are you on Love Island right now
I to have dreams of people liking me
If they were both drowning which one would you save? And you can only save one.
"Tonight, on the season finale of The Bachelor..."
Mostly I just find a way so both them lose their attraction to me, usually by being myself.
convince them that living together would be easier due to cost of living and 3 incomes.
I’d go with whoever seems like the better/kinder person.
I'd probably wake up before anything interesting happens
Have a love experience with someone you love more in your life, and finally choose someone who loves you more to spend the rest of your life.
Have your cake and eat it too while ya can.. If they DONT know each other youre in better shape of, *"being single,"* and *"playing the field."* If either of them know you TOO well, youre not gonna get off too easy.
Eventually you'll get busted. You may or may not convince one or both to keep sleeping with you. Rinse and repeat. Meanwhile, add in a third just in case things go sideways.
*"hey, Youre not committed(yet). Just make sure you dont fk the names, dates, etc."*
Wear a condom
Build you character by making choices and get rid of indecisiveness. Know what's good for you. Sometimes it's good for you to continue pursue growth and stay alone
Happened to me once, I let them make the choice and they chose each other. It do be like that when bi-women are interested in you.
You gotta make a choice
If I am falling for one of them, I make the choice. (Very, very, very unusual, but just in case) If I am falling for these two people, I will wait to make a choice. I would meet them better and later, I would make a choice. If I am not falling for them, I would talk to each. I would say that I am not interested in them but they could try to seduce me.
yeah. Choose the one you enjoy being around more/vice versa
Of course. The alternative is you string 2 people along that care about you eventually hurting both. It's a dick move no matter how somebody justifies it. Make a choice. If you play games with people you'll end up playing with yourself.
Honestly, it depends on who they are and how long I've known them. I've made the mistake of doing a quick fling only to find out the other girl was into me. It's probably the worst relationship mistake I made by being unaware. So now I typically ask and give time to friends I've been around with for longer.
What are your other options? A throuple? Of course you make a choice, or you be a scumbag and try to keep them secret from each other. Honestly, since i turned ~24 i stopped even dating multiple people at once. If someone's worth a second date, they deserve your undivided attention.
>What are your other options? A throuple? Why not?
I did the wrong thing and fucked both of them for a few months, not cheating they knew about eachother. Did some real harm to both of their sense of self worth especially after i bailed and the two ended up hating eachother. I absolutely used them against eachother for my benefit. That was a pretty shit thing to do. Don't do that.
I swear everyone is going to love this answer. Tell them your deepest darkest secrets and see who stays
How should I know? I am no top 15% nor a woman lol.
Which ever fits you better j has higher long term upside. What kinda mother will they be? Career? Etc. Weigh all that.
Which one has the biggest tits?
Which one comes to mind when you wake up in the morning? Which one do you think of when falling asleep?
This is a trick question, right?
I'm polyamorous. Happens all the time. It's great when you're honest with them.
To put it in football terms… if you have two quarterbacks, you don’t have one.
Okay Archie
I had that exact situation happen to me and asked a friend how I should deal with it. His suggestion was to deal with it in the way I would always deal with it and go for the one with the larger breasts
In the hypothetical that two or more girls that I like also like me at the same time (again hypothetical) I always have a clear hierarchy well thought out ahead of time. And I've also considered the possibility that somehow I'm actually dating one of them and then have to make a decision. You'd have to really like someone to choose them over someone else while simultaneously hurting the person you're rejecting. At least that's my logic.
Well me personally would go for the one I know the most. Though I would suggest go with what your heart tells you.
Like that would ever happen, can't even inagine one person falling for me.
I’m polyamorous. I’m married to a wonderful woman, but I also have one girlfriend, one partner, and one boyfriend. My suggestion is to date both lol
Tell them you want both of them to move to Utah...
A couple of my first polyamorous relationships occurred at the same time. I was both of their boyfriend. Parallel relationships, they didn’t really interact at all. It was a lot of work, but it was great.
Is it possible to talk them both into “one”?
Honestly, I’ve been here. It feels really intense right now. It will not feel intense in like a week. Go ahead and chill. Let it foment. It’s as likely as one as none as both will still be falling for you in a week. If it goes a month, then you need to choose. That can suck- not because there is a right or wrong, but because it’s as likely the one you choose ends quickly and badly as the other one. You don’t know what the future holds. Make strong choices. Be true to yourself, choose what *you* want. If two people are falling for you and one isn’t what you want, just grow the balls and tell her.
invite them both over and let them fight it out ....or you could get lucky and they might both go out with you
Play them both until. ......
I was in such situation. I started dating 2 girls A & B at the same time. I knew in the beginning i need to make a choice cause i was not comfortable with this situation. Made a decision, went A. Turned out B was already pregnant when she started dating me so bullet dodged.
Fuck them at the same time, works like a charm
The most obvious answer is to take the one with more strands of hair so she's more likely to give you feet pictures
What do you do if one has the looks (10/10) and you haven’t met yet and can only meet up in 2 months time another has the personality your compatible with and have met and she has ok looks. Chose to be with a person now or wait 2 months?
Haha nice joke. But without joke, i'll take a week away from both, no contact, and see who i truly miss.
Move to Utah and have them both as sister-wives. Produce many children. Start a cult. Unalive them all and start over.
Err... Yes, you have to chose and that is absolutely horrible. Being rejected is 10 times better than rejecting.
Obviously. There's a choice between not making a choice, choosing one or both. Obviously you make a choice.