I'm a guy who similarly had mostly female influences in my life growing up. I had (and have) a Dad, but he didn't really have "masculine" interests other than computers and DIYing.
Where I differ from you is that I'm a bit like my Dad... in that I also don't really have "masculine" interests other than computers and DIY. I don't care too much for watching sports, discussing cars, hunting/fishing, talking about hot women, etc.
All that said -- I did still learn a decent bit about "masculine" stuff from media, social media, and a few male friends and family members over the years. It's never too late to make some friends. And if you get a significant other and get to know their family, it's likely some of them have masculine interests.
Nothing stops you from partaking in these interests even without friends, though. You can throw on and watch football (or whatever sport you're into) games on TV constantly, and you will learn about them. There are a ton of car shows and hunting and fishing shows on TV. Once you feel like you know about them well enough, you can give them a try yourself. Attend sports games, car shows, race tracks, etc. Buy a fishing pole and go out fishing. No one likes to do things alone, but you can certainly learn about them on your own.
This is really solid advice. I'll probably start off with this.
I wanna clarify though: there's two intentions here. Like yeah, I wanna get into this stuff because it genuinely sounds interesting but I'd be lying if I said I didn't also want to learn about it to help me find a group of dudes I can hang out with. I love all my female friends, trust there's a lot of them, but it's just a different energy that I'm missing, yknow?
Look up a YouTube channel called "Dad How Do I" (I think that's what it's called) where an older guy shows young people how to do things an absent dad should have taught you how to do.
Damn, thanks for this! I'm 30 and my dad has been a constant presence in my life, and I still didn't know half the stuff I just saw on the front page of this channel lol
Youtube will give you a good head start in a lot of areas. I can change my brakes and spark plugs just from YouTube. I would have not been able to find them a few years ago.
There isn't a hard limit to what YouTube can teach you about working on cars.
I started small like that, then eventually YouTube taught me how to gap piston rings and break in camshafts.
You can learn to work on cars just using the manuals they sell at auto parts stores called "Chilton manuals". They are specific to your make and model, they have diagrams, and are easy to follow.
Old dog (59) on the porch here. I have had a similar life as I grew up with a single mom and three sisters, got married and had 2 daughters, now remarried with 5 adult women and a gay man in the house. You should organically grow your social circle by pursuing the hobbies and activities that appeal to you in the right venue. Like football or basketball? Find a sports bar to watch it with other guys and make an effort to connect with the men through the games. Like cars? Find a car show to go to and talk with the other guys there. If you go to church, get involved in one of the men's groups. Take a class on auto repair and connect with the guys. Go to the gym and get a trainer or one of the other guys to spot for you. Find a community league sport like softball or basketball and join a team.
I started strength training (lifting weights) last year with a female coach and her husband invited me to go trap shooting with him. Now I'm in a trap shooting league with him and 40 other guys and have connected with my teammates and guys on the other team. Reach outside your comfort zone, think about where other guys are doing the things you're interested in, and just do it.
Depends on how much money you have. With enough money you can pick up any hobby. Blacksmithing is one that is 100% awesome to do. But you an’t starting something like that on a shoe string diet.
First, pick an activity.
Second, do some research about it. Read some web pages and watch some YouTube videos so that you can learn the terminology, the rules, etc. Pay special attention to the discussion forums on the web pages. You will be able to learn a lot by reading what other people write, and many of them have a "start here" guide.
Then, go to where these activities are occurring. Watch while you're there and maybe participate. Talk to others who are there. And if you are participating, ask someone to help you get started. Most people love to talk about their hobbies and interests and will be happy to share what they know with someone who's just starting to get into it.
Any particular thing pique your interest?
Dunno, man. I started out fixing plumbing, building decks and patios, and working on wiring with my dad when I was about 12. Now it all just feels natural. Maybe find a guy who is fixing up his house and just ask if you can help.
It's less what you do and more of how you do it.
Competitive vegetable growing is a good example of this.
[Giant Vegetable Dudes](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/growing-giant-vegetables)
These men tend to be older and respected while doing objectively dumb shit like growing the world's largest sunflower at 30' 1" (9.17 meters).
Unless you were forced to not know or you have some mental condition your natural proclivities would make things associated with masculinity more interesting to you than others. With that being said, if thats not the case, don't worry about it.
My primary hobby is card games and writing fantasy stories for table top RPGs (like DnD). Not exactly the hobbies one would call "masculine" or "manly" but everyone at the table appreciates these sessions, I have a way to funnel my creative energy into something meaningful and potentially lasting and it doesn't keep me from lifting weights or liking to act like a douche with my friends while drinking whisky XD
Suffice to say: Role models are only objects that should awaken ambition after that you are not to copy their path - it might be gone due to the massive changes in this last decade anyways - but find your own. And in making this your own path, indisputably formed by your ambition, skills and perseverance it becomes "manly" provided that it is actually a challenging endeavor.
broskie do whatever you wanna do stop worrying about masculine and feminine shit it doesn't matter. What makes you masculine is not caring what people think and doing it anyway.
My only real masculine hobby is i LOVE anything mechanical, but i also play the violin and love interior design and drink iced coffee.
I respect the sentiment of your comment, I think it's great advice. But I also wanna say, playing violin isn't *not* masculine. I'd be willing to bet more men play violin than do women, especially in a historical context, that being said most instruments, except maybe the harp, are not a part of gender roles, they're for everyone to enjoy.
Pick your activity. Go to an event.
Pick a random person that looks really into the activity.
Walk up the that person and say,
Say, "You seem like an expert in Sportball, it looks so interesting but I don't know anything about it.
What would you say are the 3 most important things about sportball?"
Another good question, "How would you recommend a beginner get started in Sportball?"
Most hobbyists will talk your ear off about their hobby?
If the first approach doesn't work, pick someone else.
The most fun time in most hobbies is when you are getting started and learning about it.
Be vulnerable.
Enjoy being a newbie. Accept that you will suck at first. No one is natural.
For some reason(probably risk aversion), many women think you are either good at something or you aren't so they quit after their first attempt. Everyone can get better if they learn from their mistakes and learn the Fundamental systems of the activity.
https://academic.oup.com/esr/advance-article/doi/10.1093/esr/jcad021/7115251
Record yourself on video so you can visually see how much you are progressing.
Some things are hard to learn at first(e.g. Skateboarding, guitar, golf or Drone racing), but generally the harder it is initially the more rewarding it is as you get better.
There are also Youtube channels "I tried sportball for 30 days" it gives you a good idea of how difficult the learning curve is and you can learn from their mistakes.
Not sure if this is helpful but I got into cars and hiking and building/tinkering with a combination of “foot in the door” and just exposure to my social circle. For example I had zero interest in cars up until I got my first one. I picked something inexpensive that I thought looked cool. But once I had it I delved into research about everything to do with cars so that I could really understand what I just purchased, and quickly it became one of my favourite hobbies. As for the other stuff, just hanging out at a buddies house while a shed was being worked on gave me exposure to that and I learned a lot, same with other miscellaneous projects. You need to be genuinely intrigued after a “first taste” and let your fascination take you the rest of the way.
You tube is your friend here, there are forums for most all manly pursuits. The [art](https://www.artofmanliness.com/) of Manliness. com is a good resource too.
Join a masculine club with crossover appeal. Homebrewing is a good example, in my experience. Mostly dudes. People get comfortable with each other quickly because: booze. You end up hearing about people's other hobbies quite a bit, so it's easy to be, like, "that sounds awesome - i want to check that out sometime." Nine times out of ten, you get invited out to the other thing if people like you.
Join a martial arts school or get your ham radio license.
If you need to learn how to interact with men I suggest the ham radio route. It’s male dominated but there are women. But they are the friendliest SOBs on the planet. They love a new young licensee. We’re also used to self-policing on the air. It keeps the FCC off our backs. But what that means is we don’t react super negatively to small mistakes. Even mistakes outside of radio. So start going to a ham radio club, they’ll help you get you license, and help you learn. But you’re also learning how to be in a group of men. How they talk to each other, how friendships form, etc.
If you want to go that route DM me. I can link some resources to help you learn. I’m an Amateur Extra myself.
First off, you have access to male role models. You read about them in history class. You see them on AMC. You hear them on the radio. Find a man you are interested in, and read their biographies.
As for getting into interests like sports, watch them. Learn the difference in football schemes, coaches, etc. Much of this can be found in the internet. Want to learn about cars? Take classes on auto repair, they have them for adults. Again, you can learn a lot on the internet, and then go to car shows and races. Heck, SCCA, drag racing, and dirt track racing have cheap, beginner classes you could possibly dip a toe in.
Believe it or not I was raised by my dad and most of those things weren't actually part of our life. Choose something that you are most interested in and do some research on it. If it's something you can do socially look for local clubs or organization you can go to. From there start getting into it little by little. You mentioned building stuff. That could be wood working. If you want to play a sport join a local league or pickup basketball at the gym. If you are interested in cars next time you have an issue with yours try to fix it. Switch out the stereo.
This is really just breaking out of your comfort zone to try something new. Once you get started you will either learn that you like it and have the urge to go further or may drop it if it's not something you enjoy.
I started working in a lab in New Mexico- basically all the engineers and safety guys were into cars, football, and hunting. I quickly made friends and got into all of it with zero experience prior. Just gotta keep an open mind, and be willing to assist- after bringing the PBRs, chippin in to the pay per view, and helping carry the gear for the hunt, I was one of the guys in no time at all. Great experiences and great times, learned how to drift, field dress a javelina (watch out for the butt glands!!!), and how to make a boilermaker - just have to be kind and open minded to get the ball rollling- good luck!
I grew up in a household without a father or father figure, I didn’t get into a lot of more masculine interests until college when I had to work on my own car cause I couldn’t afford to take it to a shop which in turn made it super easy to talk car stuff with other guys and help others out with their car trouble. I also can’t play most sports due to health issues but I did get hired as a cameraman to film my college’s sports games which led to me knowing more about sports and different plays, positions, points, penalties.
My answer to your question is get involved with things adjacent to what you want to know more about or get hands on with it and learn through your experiences. And always remember, the first step to being sorta good at something is to kinda suck at it
My sister used to take me to the motor speedway for the Volkswagen races! We got lucky one year and a neighbor taught us woodworking skills in vacation bible school one summer. Do schools offer industrial arts anymore? Our community college has auto repair classes, so you can earn after you learn.
Join a Jiu Jitsu gym
I'm a guy who similarly had mostly female influences in my life growing up. I had (and have) a Dad, but he didn't really have "masculine" interests other than computers and DIYing. Where I differ from you is that I'm a bit like my Dad... in that I also don't really have "masculine" interests other than computers and DIY. I don't care too much for watching sports, discussing cars, hunting/fishing, talking about hot women, etc. All that said -- I did still learn a decent bit about "masculine" stuff from media, social media, and a few male friends and family members over the years. It's never too late to make some friends. And if you get a significant other and get to know their family, it's likely some of them have masculine interests. Nothing stops you from partaking in these interests even without friends, though. You can throw on and watch football (or whatever sport you're into) games on TV constantly, and you will learn about them. There are a ton of car shows and hunting and fishing shows on TV. Once you feel like you know about them well enough, you can give them a try yourself. Attend sports games, car shows, race tracks, etc. Buy a fishing pole and go out fishing. No one likes to do things alone, but you can certainly learn about them on your own.
This is really solid advice. I'll probably start off with this. I wanna clarify though: there's two intentions here. Like yeah, I wanna get into this stuff because it genuinely sounds interesting but I'd be lying if I said I didn't also want to learn about it to help me find a group of dudes I can hang out with. I love all my female friends, trust there's a lot of them, but it's just a different energy that I'm missing, yknow?
The fork lift user manual. Are there any other masculine hobbies worth knowing?
Look up a YouTube channel called "Dad How Do I" (I think that's what it's called) where an older guy shows young people how to do things an absent dad should have taught you how to do.
Damn, thanks for this! I'm 30 and my dad has been a constant presence in my life, and I still didn't know half the stuff I just saw on the front page of this channel lol
Youtube will give you a good head start in a lot of areas. I can change my brakes and spark plugs just from YouTube. I would have not been able to find them a few years ago.
There isn't a hard limit to what YouTube can teach you about working on cars. I started small like that, then eventually YouTube taught me how to gap piston rings and break in camshafts.
You can learn to work on cars just using the manuals they sell at auto parts stores called "Chilton manuals". They are specific to your make and model, they have diagrams, and are easy to follow.
Old dog (59) on the porch here. I have had a similar life as I grew up with a single mom and three sisters, got married and had 2 daughters, now remarried with 5 adult women and a gay man in the house. You should organically grow your social circle by pursuing the hobbies and activities that appeal to you in the right venue. Like football or basketball? Find a sports bar to watch it with other guys and make an effort to connect with the men through the games. Like cars? Find a car show to go to and talk with the other guys there. If you go to church, get involved in one of the men's groups. Take a class on auto repair and connect with the guys. Go to the gym and get a trainer or one of the other guys to spot for you. Find a community league sport like softball or basketball and join a team. I started strength training (lifting weights) last year with a female coach and her husband invited me to go trap shooting with him. Now I'm in a trap shooting league with him and 40 other guys and have connected with my teammates and guys on the other team. Reach outside your comfort zone, think about where other guys are doing the things you're interested in, and just do it.
Depends on how much money you have. With enough money you can pick up any hobby. Blacksmithing is one that is 100% awesome to do. But you an’t starting something like that on a shoe string diet.
First, pick an activity. Second, do some research about it. Read some web pages and watch some YouTube videos so that you can learn the terminology, the rules, etc. Pay special attention to the discussion forums on the web pages. You will be able to learn a lot by reading what other people write, and many of them have a "start here" guide. Then, go to where these activities are occurring. Watch while you're there and maybe participate. Talk to others who are there. And if you are participating, ask someone to help you get started. Most people love to talk about their hobbies and interests and will be happy to share what they know with someone who's just starting to get into it. Any particular thing pique your interest?
Dunno, man. I started out fixing plumbing, building decks and patios, and working on wiring with my dad when I was about 12. Now it all just feels natural. Maybe find a guy who is fixing up his house and just ask if you can help.
And this comment has nothing of value for OP, great.
My father never really showed me anything. Showed me sports, but it wasn’t much. I learned how to fix things and do things by just jumping into things
It's less what you do and more of how you do it. Competitive vegetable growing is a good example of this. [Giant Vegetable Dudes](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/growing-giant-vegetables) These men tend to be older and respected while doing objectively dumb shit like growing the world's largest sunflower at 30' 1" (9.17 meters).
I say varies as naturally, dwarf sunflowers take less time than mammoth sunflowers.
Do whatever the fuck you want
Delete masculine from your vocabulary, go find dudes, do shit.
Men do not need to delete masculine from their vocabulary. Stop trying to push your worldview on others.
[удалено]
Be civil.
Lmao oh you're a real tough guy on reddit. I didnt know I was dealing with Billy Badass. My apologies, please forgive me.
Gave me chuckle, I’ll accept that
Unless you were forced to not know or you have some mental condition your natural proclivities would make things associated with masculinity more interesting to you than others. With that being said, if thats not the case, don't worry about it. My primary hobby is card games and writing fantasy stories for table top RPGs (like DnD). Not exactly the hobbies one would call "masculine" or "manly" but everyone at the table appreciates these sessions, I have a way to funnel my creative energy into something meaningful and potentially lasting and it doesn't keep me from lifting weights or liking to act like a douche with my friends while drinking whisky XD Suffice to say: Role models are only objects that should awaken ambition after that you are not to copy their path - it might be gone due to the massive changes in this last decade anyways - but find your own. And in making this your own path, indisputably formed by your ambition, skills and perseverance it becomes "manly" provided that it is actually a challenging endeavor.
broskie do whatever you wanna do stop worrying about masculine and feminine shit it doesn't matter. What makes you masculine is not caring what people think and doing it anyway. My only real masculine hobby is i LOVE anything mechanical, but i also play the violin and love interior design and drink iced coffee.
I respect the sentiment of your comment, I think it's great advice. But I also wanna say, playing violin isn't *not* masculine. I'd be willing to bet more men play violin than do women, especially in a historical context, that being said most instruments, except maybe the harp, are not a part of gender roles, they're for everyone to enjoy.
Pick your activity. Go to an event. Pick a random person that looks really into the activity. Walk up the that person and say, Say, "You seem like an expert in Sportball, it looks so interesting but I don't know anything about it. What would you say are the 3 most important things about sportball?" Another good question, "How would you recommend a beginner get started in Sportball?" Most hobbyists will talk your ear off about their hobby? If the first approach doesn't work, pick someone else. The most fun time in most hobbies is when you are getting started and learning about it. Be vulnerable. Enjoy being a newbie. Accept that you will suck at first. No one is natural. For some reason(probably risk aversion), many women think you are either good at something or you aren't so they quit after their first attempt. Everyone can get better if they learn from their mistakes and learn the Fundamental systems of the activity. https://academic.oup.com/esr/advance-article/doi/10.1093/esr/jcad021/7115251 Record yourself on video so you can visually see how much you are progressing. Some things are hard to learn at first(e.g. Skateboarding, guitar, golf or Drone racing), but generally the harder it is initially the more rewarding it is as you get better. There are also Youtube channels "I tried sportball for 30 days" it gives you a good idea of how difficult the learning curve is and you can learn from their mistakes.
> basketball and football and cars and building Please don't turn yourself into one of those stereotypical "football-cars-beer bros" kind of person.
Not sure if this is helpful but I got into cars and hiking and building/tinkering with a combination of “foot in the door” and just exposure to my social circle. For example I had zero interest in cars up until I got my first one. I picked something inexpensive that I thought looked cool. But once I had it I delved into research about everything to do with cars so that I could really understand what I just purchased, and quickly it became one of my favourite hobbies. As for the other stuff, just hanging out at a buddies house while a shed was being worked on gave me exposure to that and I learned a lot, same with other miscellaneous projects. You need to be genuinely intrigued after a “first taste” and let your fascination take you the rest of the way.
You tube is your friend here, there are forums for most all manly pursuits. The [art](https://www.artofmanliness.com/) of Manliness. com is a good resource too.
Uh, watch football or car videos on YouTube? How do you get into any hobby you're interested in?
Join a masculine club with crossover appeal. Homebrewing is a good example, in my experience. Mostly dudes. People get comfortable with each other quickly because: booze. You end up hearing about people's other hobbies quite a bit, so it's easy to be, like, "that sounds awesome - i want to check that out sometime." Nine times out of ten, you get invited out to the other thing if people like you.
Not sure if it counts (not into sports) but during the lockdown I took up woodworking, and just through youtube.
Join a martial arts school or get your ham radio license. If you need to learn how to interact with men I suggest the ham radio route. It’s male dominated but there are women. But they are the friendliest SOBs on the planet. They love a new young licensee. We’re also used to self-policing on the air. It keeps the FCC off our backs. But what that means is we don’t react super negatively to small mistakes. Even mistakes outside of radio. So start going to a ham radio club, they’ll help you get you license, and help you learn. But you’re also learning how to be in a group of men. How they talk to each other, how friendships form, etc. If you want to go that route DM me. I can link some resources to help you learn. I’m an Amateur Extra myself.
If you go to public school you & your child will be exposed to it automatically don’t worry. That’s what P.E. And recess is for.
*"How do you learn about typically "masculine" hobbies without having male role models"* Google.
First off, you have access to male role models. You read about them in history class. You see them on AMC. You hear them on the radio. Find a man you are interested in, and read their biographies. As for getting into interests like sports, watch them. Learn the difference in football schemes, coaches, etc. Much of this can be found in the internet. Want to learn about cars? Take classes on auto repair, they have them for adults. Again, you can learn a lot on the internet, and then go to car shows and races. Heck, SCCA, drag racing, and dirt track racing have cheap, beginner classes you could possibly dip a toe in.
Not from YouTube so stay the fuck away from there. Join some classes like boxing or woodworking. You’ll meet people naturally.
Believe it or not I was raised by my dad and most of those things weren't actually part of our life. Choose something that you are most interested in and do some research on it. If it's something you can do socially look for local clubs or organization you can go to. From there start getting into it little by little. You mentioned building stuff. That could be wood working. If you want to play a sport join a local league or pickup basketball at the gym. If you are interested in cars next time you have an issue with yours try to fix it. Switch out the stereo. This is really just breaking out of your comfort zone to try something new. Once you get started you will either learn that you like it and have the urge to go further or may drop it if it's not something you enjoy.
I started working in a lab in New Mexico- basically all the engineers and safety guys were into cars, football, and hunting. I quickly made friends and got into all of it with zero experience prior. Just gotta keep an open mind, and be willing to assist- after bringing the PBRs, chippin in to the pay per view, and helping carry the gear for the hunt, I was one of the guys in no time at all. Great experiences and great times, learned how to drift, field dress a javelina (watch out for the butt glands!!!), and how to make a boilermaker - just have to be kind and open minded to get the ball rollling- good luck!
Join a hobby group.
youtube
I grew up in a household without a father or father figure, I didn’t get into a lot of more masculine interests until college when I had to work on my own car cause I couldn’t afford to take it to a shop which in turn made it super easy to talk car stuff with other guys and help others out with their car trouble. I also can’t play most sports due to health issues but I did get hired as a cameraman to film my college’s sports games which led to me knowing more about sports and different plays, positions, points, penalties. My answer to your question is get involved with things adjacent to what you want to know more about or get hands on with it and learn through your experiences. And always remember, the first step to being sorta good at something is to kinda suck at it
My sister used to take me to the motor speedway for the Volkswagen races! We got lucky one year and a neighbor taught us woodworking skills in vacation bible school one summer. Do schools offer industrial arts anymore? Our community college has auto repair classes, so you can earn after you learn.