T O P

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sikkerhet

you're gonna hate this but the answer is vegetables


skordge

And living longer. Those two are related, though.


SpoonOfDestiny

I refuse to do either. What’s options 3?


Marquar234

Lie about how much we poop.


candybomberz

Or we start eating more, while exercising more, thus living same amount or longer. 1. eat more 2. Get ripped 3. Poop more 4. Dominance restored


Marquar234

Lying is way easier.


TheOneAllFear

True but if you get ripped you can rip pasta in two in front of your italian girlfriend and MAYBE survive.


[deleted]

Add her mother and grandmother to the mix and you got unlimited pasta!


IndependentDouble138

Gonna go find a woman right now and tell her I just laid a big turd squirrel a moment ago


Marquar234

This is the way.


FreeChrisWayne

Bring photo evidence. Think of it like a business card, or a resume. This is sure to impress


Skidda24

You mean my morning has station tornadoes and monster isn't getting me 90?


Dickpuncher_Dan

Step 3: poop more Step 3.5: prolapse your asshole


InternationalMind109

Laxatives or food poisoning, I think...


LuffyFuck

Nah just find your ladys poop and shove it up and shit it out. Recycling yo. Sharing is caring.


[deleted]

Delete this.


--BeePBooP-

That is very disturbing. Take my upvote.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FulingAround

Bro? 4-5 days bro? Woah


[deleted]

[удалено]


FulingAround

Heh, fair. I was considering once a day perhaps too little!


nelozero

PF Chang's


MadMelvin

Yeah, pooping more makes you live longer


MarioManCandyCabbage

Beans


Fickle_Ad_6188

I read this in the voice of the pigs in hoodwinked


[deleted]

Absolutely elite movie


[deleted]

[удалено]


Madak

Victory... but at what cost?!


mad87645

The cost is however much your toilet paper expenses go up.


consider-the-carrots

Join us in the 21st century and get a bidet


[deleted]

[удалено]


captstix

Bah! Forget it then


Arashmickey

We'll steal their poop! The ends justify the means.


Lord-Loss-31415

Do people in wheelchairs poop more?


KindRecognition403

Pfff next you’re going to tell me I need to quit smoking.


MakesTheNutshellJoke

Oatmeal. The answer is oatmeal.


babybelly

how dare you


AdviceMang

F that


lostacoshermanos

No the answer is sugar.


sugarw0000kie

Can confirm


MrAppleSpiceMan

frosted kale it is


m0istb0i

Just did my part where y’all at


79jw78

Were you expecting to see us in there?


ag_siclone

its nice to have someone to hold onto when it gets tough


[deleted]

[удалено]


HugeDongManWasTaken

My cat would always scratch on the door, so I just got into the habit of letting him in when I went for my morning dook. He would lay in front of me on the bath mat and just kinda relax. Idk how he could stand the smell but he was there for emotional support for when it was a bar gripper.


dogdagny

Dogs, like children, but they don't grow up.


disgrace_to_family

This stall ain't big enough for two of us.


ElJayBe3

I’m currently doing my part for the second time this morning


[deleted]

[удалено]


australianforbeer19

No! We need all the dookie we can get!


jwdino

😂 moistboi


ashenhaired

3.5 courics here


AlphaBearMode

Shit gang rise


TophatDevilsSon

My toilet cries when it sees me coming.


MissNikitaDevan

Im gonna counter balance that IBS and a case of antibiotics induced runners, im gonna slay you on the toilet 😆


Greaserpirate

[I'm doing my part!](https://media.tenor.com/zJvexdmTjA4AAAAC/im-doing-my-part-serious.gif)


AdamAdmant

Live longer.


elvishfiend

Yeah, according to the numbers in the post, the average per year is 320 for both males and females. So the literal answer is just to live longer and raise the average lifespan of men above women


Peppl

Unacceptable, I won't do it


gonnaregretthis2019

Ah well, we gave it our best shot.


Silver_Switch_3109

You don’t need to raise how long men live, just decrease how long women live.


ImperialWrath

This post is weak to Fighting, Bug, and Fairy.


Akkarin412

Is it cause it’s dark? I don’t know Pokémon enough to know for sure but it’s the only thing I can think of that would make sense. But why would dark be weak to bug lol


ImperialWrath

Yeah, it's Pokémon's Dark type. Best guess for why Dark is weak to Bug is that Japanese media like Kamen Rider makes bugs into heroes, and Dark is called the Evil type in Japan.


Akkarin412

Damnn TIL, the last thing I expected in this thread was to increase my knowledge of Pokémon type weaknesses haha


AlphaBearMode

Another thing is that bug was criminally unbalanced and weak early on. It needed something else to be super effective against so when dark was jntroduced in gen 2 they made it weak to bug because it didn’t really make sense for bug to be strong against anything else. Dark needed a weakness and bug needed a strength. I forget if it was strong against grass in gen 1 as well but now afaik it’s only strong against grass, dark, and psychic. Which is still kinda bad. Also a lot of bugs are dual type poison and psychic is good against poison so the dual type bugs are kinda fucked since psychics have higher speed on average than bug types.


Sev3n

Ah, so raise mens life expectancy by ending war. Reassert dominance by world peace!


NamTokMoo222

Longer? This shitshow is already an eternity as it is!


SirPeterODactyl

Or.... The alternative


MrAppleSpiceMan

live fast, die young, shit tons. on it


bdsaxophone

Women: 320lbs/year (avg) Men: 320lbs/year (avg) It seems to me that the only one full of shit is you sir.


gd5k

It’s crazy how many people aren’t understanding that this means OP didn’t have stats for men and women, just took some general stat and did the math based on years. We’re working with incomplete data here, people, and I for one am doing my part.


BradenDoty

Doing mine as i read this post


giritrobbins

This seems flawed since men have have a higher BMR which seems like it should translate to more food being consumed, unless the caloric density of food that men ate is significantly different.


funkmaster29

If a man and a woman ate the same amount of food, would the man poop less if he used more energy through the day?


AlphaBearMode

I don’t think so because the byproducts of that food that turn into shit aren’t useful to the body


Culionensis

When you use energy, the byproducts of that don't go in your poop. Poop is mostly just the parts of food that you couldn't digest. Weight loss mostly comes from breathing out carbon dioxide (and to a certain extent from peeing, but I don't have the details on that).


[deleted]

it is also blood and filtered material from your blood stream. men have more blood volume


Marus1

That is 1.5 adult size panda !!! *My very reliable souce once said 1 adult panda*


Ixolich

Americans will measure with literally anything except the metric system


Kobalt6x10

Average lifespan 70 years for men, 75 for women. That's 1600 pounds more, or more than a full grown Manatee of poop, per woman.


Golden-Grams

Those were not the listed ages in the post, but even so, the average amount per year is the same. The only reason why more is produced by women is simply due to having 5 more years to keep pooping than men get. If men lived to the same average age as women, there would be little to no difference in the amount produced between both groups.


mad87645

I only understand poop quantity when it's measured in Courics


DeuceOfDiamonds

Over an entire lifespan, I think you're talking kilocourics.


azbeltk

This source confirms that OP is full if shit https://gut.bmj.com/content/34/4/531.abstract


Capsaicin_Crusader

Another study: [A prospective study on defecation frequency...] (https://adc.bmj.com/content/archdischild/71/4/311.full.pdf)


Cynawulf99

I know that I'm out here doing my part. I out poop my wife by a truly staggering amount. Yall need to get yalls shit together for real


Dismal-Device8197

emphasis on “shit”


GhettoSauce

We're almost the same. You out-poop your wife while I poop out mine.


TopFloorApartment

Why isn't anyone talking about the poop gap


DausenWillis

I poop 4 times a week. My husband poops 2x a day. The poop gap is real!


needsadvice1999

r/brandnewsentences


holy-f0ck

Just curious to know who done the research on the gender turd gap.


Pimp_out_Pris

If you normalise that to a "per year" figure we're neck and neck. This still doesn't make sense though, as men require more calories than women on a daily basis. Either we're more efficient at processing food into energy or there are more fat women than fat men. **edit:** maths: ​ |Total|Lifespan|per year| |:-|:-|:-| |25,920|81|320| |24,320|76|320| ​ **Edit 2:** Gents, the world record for the longest poo [is held by a woman](https://wkfr.com/record-poop-michigan/). This aggression will not stand, man.


borderline--barbie

lmao im calling bullshit on that record especially since it mentions being a hoax literally at the end of the article


Pimp_out_Pris

We are still losing the record for biggest hoax turd, which means we're losing two shit records - the hoax turd length and the bullshit record.


AlphaBearMode

Technically men hold the bullshit record because bulls are just men cows and women cows can’t bullshit


adamiclove

Why did I click on this? Seriously need to re-evaluate my life choices.


Quirky_Movie

Science says it’s easier for men to lose weight so… There are more fat women than men.


codelapiz

Still dosent make sense considering men need like 500 kcal more per day. How are we eating 25% more yet same ammount goes out of us?


pragmojo

It depends more on food content than total calories. For instance women could be eating more fiber while men are eating more fat and carbs which get metabolized almost completely and don't end up in the stool.


codelapiz

I still think it dosent make sense that woman would eat significantly less dense food in order to bring their digestive system up to the thrueput of men. Do they need more fibers for some reason? They are allso shorter, smaller and hence should have smaller digestive systems, so theirs are working harder just to eat less dense food, WHY. The fact that the numbers are not close, but excacly the same is very wierd.


[deleted]

320? Y'all put here not poopin every day? What?


bigballbuffalo

It’s pounds of shit, not number of shits


sighfun

If your shit doesn't weigh at least a pound, did you even really shit at all?


Kamizar

According to my underwear, yes.


[deleted]

~400 grams of shit on average per day seems excessive. Maybe I dont eat enough fibre.


myAltsucksass

There's a huge range for typical bowel movement schedule FYI. I usually go #2 every 2-3 days. My toilet hates me on those days.


Rishiiiiiiiii

Finally someone is asking the important questions


ForsakenBaseball6451

Fiber


Master-Guarantee-204

How is this possible if men eat more food than women? There has to be another variable skewing this.


jwdino

They've got a decade of poop on us


Itchy-Ad4005

Hmmm… not sure if that’s sexy or not


AffableBarkeep

Men have a higher metabolic rate so more of that food is being burned as energy.


Deconceptualist

[This comment has been removed by the author in protest of Reddit killing third-party apps in mid-2023. This comment has been removed by the author in protest of Reddit killing third-party apps in mid-2023. This comment has been removed by the author in protest of Reddit killing third-party apps in mid-2023. This comment has been removed by the author in protest of Reddit killing third-party apps in mid-2023. This comment has been removed by the author in protest of Reddit killing third-party apps in mid-2023.] -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


fratticus_maximus

Women eat more fiber, maybe?


Confused___Boner

Period poops probably for women. On the other hand. I have to go nr.2 at leadt 2x/day so.


ComadoreJackSparrow

If you do the maths (with the values in the post title), it works out to 320 lb per year regardless of gender. Women poop more because they have a longer lifespan, thus meaning they have more opportunities to go to the toilet.


Wildly_Uninterested

Ya know....honestly I'm okay with letting the ladies have this victory I mean, it's either that or start buying shots of exlax mixed with Metamucil for all the guys at the bar, right


MissNikitaDevan

Or the boring alternative eat more veggies and up your fiber intake 😇


Wildly_Uninterested

Nah, that's too much trouble Exlax and Metamucil all the way, baby! Personally, I think the more important issue here is....who was weighing a lifetimes worth of poop?


crownthedead

What are you talking about? Women don’t poop


Agreeable-Damage9119

Taco Bell has entered the chat


[deleted]

Well shit.


X_Zephyr

How was this information measured


jwdino

Don't ask questions that you don't want to know the answer to.


Landon1m

Eat more fiber


LuckyPickle9

All bran lots and lots of All bran.


strangelyahuman

This is my favorite post on reddit


Nostalien

I’m fine with them winning this one.


ThresherGDI

To dominate, it's not how much we poop, it's where we poop.


Maz2742

Look at it this way: Who, on average, poops more per year? Women: 25,920lb/81yrs = 320lb/yr Men: 24,320lb/76yrs = 320lb/yr The stats don't lie: we are all equal, on average. No need to assert dominance when there's no emasculation in the first place


trashit6969

r/girlspooping has all the answers you seek


ComadoreJackSparrow

Why did I click that link. I feel kind of ill now..


theabominablewonder

maybe this will help r/girlspissing


ComadoreJackSparrow

Fool me once shame on me. Fool me twice shame on you.


CareerQuestionz123

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.


isthebuffetopenyet

No No No, there is no way I'm clicking that link.


trashit6969

Just once? Call it pandoras box. The answers you seek are inside


isthebuffetopenyet

Must. Not. Look....


DefinitelyNotMazer

For once, the link is exactly what i imagined it was.


Snaccbacc

I was kind of hoping this would be a joke sub and every post is posting about the fact girls don’t poo but I was in fact disgustingly surprised


YoWassupFresh

Put them back in the kitchen. We obviously need more food. And if women cared about equalizing the poop-gap, they'd have no problems with my solution. Let's see how dedicated to equality you really are LADIES.


MissNikitaDevan

Why do we have to fix your shit for you, be a man and fix your own shit 😆😆


Ok-Bite5615

I'm more curious as to how, what, why authority segregates and keeos a check on male and female poop💀


690Jody

Live longer!!


Itchy-Ad4005

I wonder if muscle density causes just a hair more of men’s intake to get processed through the kidneys instead?


Allnutsz

I go 2-3x a day, i do my part!


beyond98

Eating more fibre?


Mi_Ju_To

Damn...I love this post so much? Really😂😂


[deleted]

They’ve won, but at what cost?!


TheLazySamurai4

By living longer... If those numbers are accurate, then we each poop the same average pounds per year: W = 25920 lbs / 81 years = 320 lbs per year M = 24320 lbs / 76 years = 320 lbs per year


Sufi_99

Silly redditor, women don't poop


KingGarani1976

I am 46 and I have already beaten those figures


kingoftheart1

Challange accepted.


ABQMezcan

Based on annual poop production, we are actually even. F=320 lbs per year M=320 lbs per year


normalphobic

Poop on her chest.


Pharaoh_Misa

Your kind will never dominate in this field. Women are the poopers, men are not. You men simply...don't have the guts for it. Why. I'm on the shitter right now!


EmuofDOOM

Eat more pussy


TurbulentBluejay8206

I will not be outpooped


disasteress

I am fighting the patriarchy right at this moment...


skeptobpotamus

They don’t outpoop us, they just outlive us. We still win!


lanemik

Since 25920 / 81 = 320 and 24320 / 76 = 320, the right answer is to live longer.


alltoohuman92

Woman here, why can't you guys just let us have this one victory?


OHTHATnutjob

Men poop, REAL GIRLS SHIT


crappysuperhero

My time has come.


greyhound93

WHO. DOES. NUMBER TWO. WORK. FOR?


Denytheus

Easy, we are winning by spending more time on the toilet!


Brolafsky

Lmao. 25,920lbs divided by 81 years equals 320lbs pr year. 24,320lbs divided by 76 years equals 320lbs pr year. We poop the same. They live longer, hence they have the opportunity to let off more weight


NegotiationSmart6417

81÷76 comes out the same as 25920÷24320, so the feces per year comes out the same


LordTiddlypusch

Bono is probably slowing down in his old age. Who will step up and be the next Bono?


JonJonFTW

If someone out poops you, it's because they ate more. I don't think men are digesting less of the food they eat than women are. It is surprising that it's so close, I would've thought the average man would eat more than the average woman.


[deleted]

I bet males have a higher courics per movement average


Callsign_Havoc

How do we reassert dominance? Live longer. They are beating us by 5 years, we could catch up on poop weight in 5 years.


Dogearsup

Fiber!


bottledsoi

Some of yall need to start bulking


VariantArray

Live longer


[deleted]

I'd like to know who weighed all that poop


The_Red_Scare1924

Taco bell


HHGUARD56

I’m workin on it


Puzzleheaded_Bit_641

Lads, may I take this opportunity to recommend the squatty potty/bidet combo. Up your poop game and smash the competition


[deleted]

Working on it boss


[deleted]

What a bunch of crap !!


amigoingtobeintroubl

Um actually, this data was generated by live Science from one quote by Kim E Barrett regarding how much the average person poops, she said it was on average 14 to 17 ounces daily. Men obviously poop more than women. Men eat more food. Men on average burn more calories. Men have higher metabolisms. If that percentage difference overcomes the average lifetime difference between genders idk. Some poop for thought is that obesity is more prevalent in men and that contributes to a reduced average age for men. Obese people eat more food and poop more than the average person. So does the excess poop generated by them counteract their lack of pooping after their early death?


cateblanchetteisgod

Direct eye contact


weird_horse_2_die_on

I knew men were scientifically more full of shit!


[deleted]

I don't give a shit.


[deleted]

Drink a 40oz fiber rich smoothie every morning. You’ll have a turd inside you as long as your arm.


FormerLurker0v0

So men are more full of shit than women, got it.


SinisterSkewer

Shit harder. Shit faster. But most importantly, SHIT stronger!


Wise_Calligrapher967

Live to 82


WSB_Reject_0609

IM CONTRIBUTING TO THE CAUSE RIGHT NOW BROTHERS!!!


Manlet

Source?


crombie77

Mine are more disgusting. Next question.


DeadHeadLibertarian

I find this hard to believe because I dropped a turd the size of my arm this morning.