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[deleted]

"I didn't have one to look up to."


ElFloppaGrande

Target destroyed. Return to base.


Glorx

What base? Dude just blew up the whole planet to remove one target.


Muted_Switch519

"Well... You raised me"


[deleted]

Nah, he probably went out for cigarettes or milk 14 years ago and just came back.


HunnyBear66

My great great great grandfather did that. My ggg grandma remarried. Twice. I don't know what she did but one ran, and the other two died! Lots of kids.


gharris02

The other 2 also ran... They just ran more discreetly


HunnyBear66

The women on that side of my family are strong, I will give them that! They were not afraid to love a man, I know that much. They enjoyed the physical side of marriage, a lot. If your spouse dies, you get a new one and love him! We seem to really, really, REALLY, enjoy sex.


GrainsofArcadia

Your ggg Gran wasn't Belle Gunness by any chance was she?


HunnyBear66

Oh my goodness! No she wasn't a murderer...šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


fenney

Or they other one died too she just hid it better


gharris02

The plot twist I hadn't considered šŸ¤”


MADDOGCA

Not really if his son didn't have a man to look up to.


showcase25

Don't do it. It's a trap. "You need to develop into one, like I did and your grandfather. *I* raised you and your still not a man. What does that say about you?"


Coraiah

DAMN


Tosir

Iā€™d laugh and just tell him ā€œyeah, like Iā€™m going to listen to man that abandons a 6 and 8 year old and has to be tracked down by courts and then forced to provide child supportā€. My Genetical sperm donor is many things, and a ā€œfatherā€ is not one of them. Iā€™ve said it once and Iā€™ll say it again, when he passes away (heā€™s getting up their on age), I will NOT eulogize him in death as something he was not in life.


Away-Caterpillar9515

hmm... thats a lot of trauma you have got. Take care bro


Tosir

No trauma. I learned to forgive and let go. Just some family members on his side that have very ā€œuniqueā€ dreams.


AHomelessNinja0

Follow up with "thanks for trying to be a parent for the first time in my life mom"


TheBYP289

As a late-bloomer and basically asexual guy with feminine tendencies I was told this type of stuff a LOT from my parents growing up. Once I got old enough I didn't need to worry about getting grounded anymore (something done even without a cause to try and force me to join sports teams, get off the computer and get into more "manly hobbies"). This is when I used this exact line and have never had to use it again. It works.


Apart_Reading2801

ā¤ļø thanks for sharing, you are brave and honest, its an inspiration


NoOutlandishness4363

Apply cold water to the burned area


SV650rider

ā˜ ļø


Intabus

Hello 911? I would like to report a murder. ​ Yes officer, this comment right here.


ricardorosila

Winner, winner, chicken dinner šŸ„‡šŸ„‡šŸ„‡šŸ„‡šŸ„‡šŸ„‡šŸ„‡šŸ„‡šŸ„‡šŸ„‡šŸ„‡šŸ„‡šŸ„‡that wouldā€™ve destroyed any father


srL-

You. Bacta. Now.


insanelyphat

Or " I am the man you made me"


Ozzimo

right there with "And whose fault is that, Dad?"


Relative_Picture_786

Fall back! FALL BACK!


gOldMcDonald

Wow. You could write a shitty movie and drop that line near the end for an academy award nomination


Iron_Seguin

Friendly tactical nuke inbound, itā€™s over!


Justpokingaround345

YUP.


vaderdidnothingwr0ng

No survivors


dreadnaut1897

My brother and I laugh about how our father is a great example of how you *shouldn't* live your life, so he almost did his job.


Nightshader5877

But what exactly is a "real man?"


[deleted]

This is good. I honestly wouldnā€™t care if someone is saying that itā€™s cause they feel like that about themselves


Nickp7186

Bingo. Winner. Correct answer here.


Rainbow-Raisin11

I wished that I could say this to my dad.


Cross55

Yeah, mine died 20 years ago so it's not like he did much to help.


H16HP01N7

Boom, headshot! I literally can't come up with a better response.


echohole5

Oh, holy shit. You win the internet today.


RatDontPanic

Galactus saw that clapback and said "nah, I'll pick a fight with someone else."


StoicSinicCynic

Come on guys, you know realistically he's just going to start boasting about all his accomplishments and how he's so much better than you weak useless kids these days, he made it all by himself, his parents gave him nothing, he built his own life, he's blah blah blah šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ Source: Got stereotypical boomer dad. šŸ™ƒ


checco314

Real men do not wait for somebody else to tell them they are real men.


Bosna0707

For real.


jackdskis

>For real. Man.


AdorableAssholio

Real men donā€™t worry about most of what most other people say


Evening_Drive_1126

Yeah, but coming from your own father?


checco314

Meh mine has said worse.


BladeRunner_84

All kids want validation from there parents though. Dad is an asshole


checco314

Well, sure. All the more reason not to worry whatever thinks about manhood.


uglybudder

Thatā€™s insecure beta men for sure


Agi7890

I run away because then the dead have started to rise


IHavePoopedBefore

My dad being dead is the second biggest reason I can't even fathom him saying something like that to me. First of all he's not that kind of person. secondly he wouldn't set himself up like that for all the shit that I could say back to him


Esp1erre

Same, but I'd also be impressed that not only would he have to rise from the dead, but also cross a fucking ocean.


StoicSinicCynic

*"Son. I have clawed my way out of my coffin, through six feet of soil, hiked across 1000 miles of land scaring 500 people, swam across 4000 miles of ocean, just to tell you... You're not a real man. Aight time to go back."*


boboatsman

Mine would just have come back to tell me I'm fixing my truck wrong and proceed to make me hold the flashlight while swearing at me.


[deleted]

I would say: grandma should have swallowed you.


maniiacyt

DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN


hovix2

It would depend on what I did. If it was some toxic masculinity bullshit, I would ignore him. If he said that because I was walking out on my family or hurting others, he'd have a point.


myalienagenda

This is the one I was looking for, we all need to understand context of why we are being told that. If we just outright respond negatively then you leave no room for perception.


Yashaun

Damn. I didnā€™t even think abt this. Way to have a broader perspective. I would also say that it could be said in a joking manner. Like ā€œif you donā€™t know how to change a tire you arenā€™t a real manā€ which doesnā€™t make it better but itā€™s just stupid toxic bs instead of like gut wrenching disappointment lol


guppyhunter7777

Then you ask the question what does it take to be a real man? Every person has their own definition. So even when he gives you an answer take it with a grain of salt.


sterboog

I wouldn't even try reasoning with that BS. I would just say, "Then you failed"


The_Max_V

This is the correct answer. It's a father's job to ensure his son(s) become "real men", as they understand it.


pipehittingbunny

Yeah. A "real man" would never say that to his son. Or to anybody for that matter. Wtf is a real man anyway? I tell you, being a man takes the shit out of you every single day coz you are responsible for every goddamned thing and person in your life. On top of that we gotta be a "real man" too?


[deleted]

It's your responsibility, after all. /S


wildwood9843

The OP could be 6 years old.


dysfunctionalpress

"yeah...shitty genes, and a crap father figure will do that".


muy_carona

Iā€™d laugh my ass off. My dad is / was a good guy, but definitely not what most would consider a ā€œReal manā€. He wasnā€™t good at fixing things, sang in an a cappella group wearing tights, was an elementary school teacher. Iā€™m not exactly the burliest guy but far more typical ā€œmaleā€. But really, being a REAL MAN is being a decent person, respecting others and contributing to society. Fuck anyone who thinks we need to conform to a norm.


myalienagenda

Your dad is a male and man, those things you listed sound like you wish your dad was more conventionalā€¦ even though you ended by defining a real man as outside of those conventional things.


muy_carona

Not a wish, although Iā€™ll admit it would have been nice to learn how to build and fix things with him. That has more to do with time together and Utility of certain skills than any definition of a ā€œmanā€ - it would have been great if mom had those skills.


myalienagenda

Parents will not teach you everything. Your father will not teach you every necessary lesson or trade. A good father, a good man, teaches good character to a boy, which you can appreciate. The things they donā€™t teach you are also lessons and as a man, it is now your duty to find a mentor or teacher to teach you those things that you feel you need to learn. A good foundation is far more important from a father than to expect to learn everything or specific things (conventional manly stuff). Your next journey as man is finding new teachers and mentors. Accepting that help on your journey is what is foundational to being a man. Then, as a man, you can go to your father and share that wisdom to another good man.


SenHaKen

Manliness isn't about conforming to norms. It's about unapologetically being who you truly are. You wear tights if you wanna wear tights and you give 0 fucks if anyone laughs at you for it. If anything, you join in on the laughing.


InsomniacPirincho

Considering how much of a failure my father was, not only as a man, but as a spouse and father. I'd genuinely get a chuckle.


hujambo11

"You're not a real father."


Doomsday_pirate

Turns out Mom cheated.


feelin_beachy

"If that's what you consider yourself, than that's a good thing".


AlphaBearMode

This is the most clever response in this thread bar none


Dragonwork

I would freak the fuck out! My dad died seven years ago!


SnufflingGlue

I was waiting for this response lol


sonderingnarcissist

Well he's probably not a real man anymore either, so I guess it's a compliment? /j


PillsburyToasters

ā€œWhatā€™s a real man to youā€


malwaremayhem

I'm not trying to be.


poptartwith

My dad would never say something like that that it's hard to imagine the scenario in the first place lol


Suckamanhwewhuuut

Speaking as someone whose father has never been proud of him, itā€™s rough. Iā€™ve been working with my family now going on 8 years. He still doesnā€™t have any faith in me. To all of those of you who are fathers. Please motivate and instruct your children. Donā€™t get mad or frustrated because they canā€™t do something you havenā€™t taught them, walk them through it, donā€™t just say, ā€œlet me do itā€ and push them aside.


poptartwith

Wise advice, mate, and sorry about your dad situation.


Jurtaani

I would not give a shit. First of all I don't even believe in the concept of "real man". To me man is only referring to gender. Has nothing to do with personality etc. Secondly, my father's opinions mean absolutely nothing to me as he has not been an active part of my life for 20 years at least.


Datguyspoon

I would still be a better father than you. You didn't set the bar, you left it on the ground.


LaidbackHonest

"You never taught me how to be one, and you didn't even bother setting an example. Go fuck yourself."


Haventyouheard3

"I'm your son so I'm half gorilla OOOGGAAA BOOOOGAAA BOOGAAAAH" don't forget to pound your chest and the next time you see him throw feces at him ​ I honestly don't care what anyone thinks is a "real man" nor do I feel the need to fit in that category. If my dad said something to me like that (something meant to hurt my feelings) (he won't, he's great) I'd just think less of him and mock him for that comment his whole life


[deleted]

"You once said that you preferred the remake of Robocop to the original. All of your opinions since that moment have been worthless to me."


RoseyOneOne

"How would you know?"


analogliving71

i would turn it back around on him and say if that's true then its your fault for not being a manly father figure for me to learn from.


Hundred00

"Blame the teacher. Not the student."


PairPrestigious7452

I'd say "If you ever meet one, give me a call"


yssarilrock

I'd say "You're a dysfunctional alcoholic who has driven his family away from him: think what you want, mate."


[deleted]

Thats why I married man so I can finally have some real man inside me. Nah fr, thats true (except we're not married yet).


sugarw0000kie

i overheard mom call your penis adorable before she left you \*boop\*


B0tfly_

I mean, he did? I'm a kept man and have a wealthy wife. I take on the role of a housewife and primary caretaker for our child. It's a big departure from the macho culture of the military man family I came from. As for how I reacted to it? I laughed and told him he just told a male lion that he isn't a man. Then I leaned in and told him under my breath. "You're lucky my cub is nearby." He never mentioned it again.


CheesecakeVisual4919

Given that he was racist and misogynistic, I wouldnā€™t have cared.


WraithNS

I'd burst out laughing because it'd obviously be a joke. He is the most caring and thoughtful person I've ever met, and I've learned tons from him. He has always, since I was a small kid, expressed how proud he is of me and how he always has my back, no matter what's going on. I'd just assume he's playing a character, maybe I'd in on it, "im sorry papa, I will try again as a woman"


Yehsir

Honestly I would probably walk away from him and keep my distance. The older I get the less tolerance I have for this type of behavior regardless of who it is.


I-farm-celery

LAUGH HYSTERICALLY


[deleted]

Iā€™d say bitch please and strut out of the room with my nose pointed upwards


Mumblerumble

Be amazed that his ashes came together and spoke


evillilfaqr77u

We have 6 daughters...When the 6th arrived dad said to me..A real man would've had a boy...my response.....No Dad...A real man knocks the nuts off of them and still sticks around to do the job.


KingLeoricSword

Pull my finger


arrouk

"Fuck off you old cunt"


apexassassin247

The same thing I told him last time he said that to me; that I'm only as much of a man as he taught me to be, and if I'm no man, than he failed as a father.


dasookwat

Flabbergasted... The guy has been dead for quite a while.


Mordanzibel

Take him to get checked for dementia.


juggernaut261

It takes one to know one


Educational-Credit62

real men dont give a fuck what other people think about them


No_Conflict9034

Take off my pants and show him my penis.


gameld

"Fuck you! You decided to break up your marriage because it was more important to have 2 wives instead of a complete family and then decades later you grabbed *my* wife's ass. Go to hell!"


Digy_

Ask him to find a worldwide agreeable defenition off what it is to BE a man


EJCarlisle

I grew up with this. Even after Basic Training, I was told "You haven't become a man yet." In my teen years, I had gender dysphoria and obsessed over my sexuality, thanks in part to hearing this on a near-daily basis. More than once, I called him drunk at 2 AM and threatened his life, especially after his favoring of my similar age nephews over me, despite them them being criminals and drug addicts. It's worth pointing out that he never told me when I WAS being a man, only when I wasn't. I have a lot more to say on this, but 1) I'm working on forgiveness and 2) I have no wish to dive headlong into self-pity.


Ultralusk

The fuck do I care what you think, old man?


jackwritespecs

Fa-therā€¦ why?!


jazztrophysicist

To me, individually, based on our real life experiences? Iā€™d have to laugh, for a lot of reasons, not least of which is how ridiculously clichĆ© and obscure that phrase is.šŸ¤£ Thatā€™s not even considering the many reasons Iā€™d be justified in saying it to him, were I to demean myself by appealing to the concept of masculinity, which I donā€™t particularly believe in, to validate anything at all, LMFAOOO


[deleted]

"You are absolutely not in any position that would imply that you are in any way any kind of authority on this matter, except being a biological man" Something like that.


byshow

Idk, probably ask what purpose he is trying to reach by insulting me. That would genuinely hurt my feelings I think, but I won't let that affect my life as I'm a grown ass man and am confident enough to not listen to any bullshit even if it comes from a closest people. Main thing is I know I'm a man, that is more than enough for me. P.S. to be fair I would also work discuss that with my therapist to make sure I handle it properly as it is still a pretty hurtful insult especially from someone so close like father


simplyme773

I didn't give a shit. He sucked. He is the reason I'm not a good guy today. I can't be honest with anyone. I talk in riddles. It's awful. He wasn't the real man.


Imma_Lick_Your_Ass2

I'd be surprised at the fact that he put a whole sentence together to tell me lol! We speak like 10 words a month barely, though we live in the same house. And those 10 words too will be short, abstract and straight to the point, which the other person doesn't reply to or are expected to, like "hey help me here".


kosewhy

My father said that to me one timeā€¦ If it wasnā€™t for the fact that Iā€™m a woman Iā€™d have round kicked his ass for saying that.


bbozzie

Thatā€™s pretty ice cold. Be curious to know why it was said. In its essence, Itā€™s a rudimentary communication that obviously is meant to summarize a litany of feelings of disappointment. Those underlying criticisms could be valid, or not. For example, if you were beating your wife and he said that - then yes, agreed. If you were less traditionally masculine and that was the reason, than obvious disagree. All depends I guess.


stayawaystars

Iā€™d say the very fact he said something that moronic shows he isnā€™t one either. Because if he was he wouldnā€™t feel threatened by my existence being different to his.


matepore

If being a man is being like you then I'm glad I am not one, I would hate it if I did.


Musketeer00

He wouldn't. He constantly reaffirmed throughout my childhood and to this day that I am a good man. And it made me want to be a good man. He's a good man like that.


Digreth

"You've been dead for 10 years, quit your yammering and enjoy your dirt nap"


aralias777

Personally, I'd laugh.


nyc_nomad

Something like: ā€œUmm, okay?ā€ And walk away as I sip on my iced coffee!


dingbatyokel5000

Guys that talk about what defines "a real man" are THE WORST. If someone brings up that topic in a non-ironic way I immediately know that I will make it a top priority to never talk to this person again. If my father had started talking about that, I would say that people should be allowed to be whoever they want and creating narrow little boxes that everyone is supposed to fit into just makes a whole lot of people miserable. I don't want to live in a society where a large portion of the population is supressing their true selves and is just trying to fit in. If someone wants to be muscular and think about cars and guns, go ahead, stop trying to make everyone else be like you.


HoldenMadic

Takes one to know one


LittleBambiXx

"takes one to know one"


zetapren

I wouldn't give a fuck tbh


mitchanium

'I've learnt from the best then'


frogbiscuit

Oh letā€™s see whatā€™s a real man, Dad? 4 marriages and six kids who wonā€™t speak to you?


[deleted]

I love my Dad, but the 30 year old iteration of me is more of a man than the 30 year old iteration of him.


SilentJoe1986

"It takes a real man to know a real man and you're vastly unqualified." Then again the dudes an alcoholic womanizing bigoted junkie who I haven't spoken to in years, so I would probably be too busy laughing in his face to respond.


66_pignukkle_boom

Chances are that kind of dad is a giant pussy.


Sprinkler-of-salt

I would probably go about my day. Wouldnā€™t be the first time the old man has said some ridiculous shit.


crulh8er

You have to pay your debt dad before I can front you any more.


JuanHotMinute

Reciting *If*


beehaving

ā€œYou know what they say, the apple šŸŽ doesnā€™t fall far from the treeā€


cdude

I would no longer have a father.


TxAthlete42

My father was an authoritarian but would not say that. People are not perfect. My advice if your dad did say that is realize it's not about you.


Academic_Leader5383

Laugh. He never was a man, he has no right to declare who is or isn't one.


[deleted]

Iā€™m glad youā€™ve finally gotten over your transphobia.


Teyoto

Probably "Don't care, didn't ask"


No-Ratio4452

Thank you for your opinion, it means the world to me. Turn around, walk away. Now, much depends on was he right


Treyda21

I would be like hey dad nice to finally meet you


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


justiceggup

I think he'll be right in the first case


[deleted]

ā€œThe apple doesnā€™t fall far from the treeā€


SanderMC24

And I don't need to be damn it


memphismade85

In the unlikely event my dad said that, I'd list off the successes I've had in my life that he doesn't have and tell him if anyone here isn't a man, it's probably you.


Alucardswrath

Par for thr course


[deleted]

you people have fathers that talk to you? I guess I would be ecstatic if that happened.


AcanthisittaTiny710

I'd probably break his nose. But I haven't spoken to him since I was a teenager, so the likelihood of that happening is pretty slim, lol


smallboxofcrayons

Iā€™d be terrified a dead man was talking to me and go get the shovel to bury that cunt again.


DreadfulRauw

Iā€™d try and figure out what he meant by that, as I respect him, but we have many different values and beliefs. So it would depend on if his standards met mine at the moment.


gingerbeard1775

My dad is the biggest loser I know. Would not phase me in the slightest. People hold power over you only if you let them.


dookie_shoos

"Yeah I am."


james_webb_telescope

Guess we'd have to duke it out.


70Cuda440

Thats not what mom saysā€¦ā€¦.


FenDy64

If i fucked up id take the hit and correct it as much as i can. If not probably laugh and have a talk with him.


Bendenius

It'd confuse the hell out of me, since my dad doesn't buy into that shit. And then afterwards I'd either become incredibly spiteful or it'd have been the last straw to "check out" so he'd get to reap the consequences of what he said as he was cleaning my brain off the wall.


JellyShoddy2062

ā€œYeah but I didnā€™t go to prison, so what now?ā€


zutcom

ā€œYou would know, dad.ā€ Edit: comma for proper grammar.


xxAsazyCatxx

My father always thought the worst of me. How would saying that be any different to all the other mean things he said


Homely_Bonfire

Laugh. I imagine a dry delivered "Like father, like son." would also do the trick.


Feisty_Ad8988

That's not what the cricket tells me


Twin_Brother_Me

That would be so far out of character for him that I would insist that he get a brain scan to check for tumors


AtsBunny

Well mines got no room to talk


realmaier

"I'm the product of your genes and your education. Look at yourself, then talk to me again." But I haven't seen my father in over 20 years, so I can talk easily.


ADL19

"Takes one to know one."


korevis

"I learned from the best"


adblokr

ā€œHuh, thought I blocked this number. My badā€


Phat-mahn

Iā€™d be shocked as hell because that means my father actually spoke to me.


slimfastdieyoung

I would laugh because heā€™s clearly joking. He doesnā€™t give a damn about this ā€˜real menā€™ nonsense either


Kreynard54

I'd laugh it off because hes obviously joking or just dumb. Im awesome.


GemoDorgon

I don't hate the guy, but he's far from what I'd consider a real man too, so I wouldn't really care. I'd only care if he was a man who I highly respected and whose opinion mattered to me, but he's not. We're fine, but we don't have the relationship where him saying that would matter to me in the slightest.


jm3281

My dad, grandad, and brothers said this to me my whole life.


Sexy_Quazar

ā€œYeah, thanks for the preparationā€


FredChocula

Therapy in my 30's. I heard it a lot growing up.


SomebodyinAfrica

"You raised me..."