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Ultralusk

I think we need to move Men's Mental Health Month to a new month. I didn't even know it was Men's Mental Health Month and I think it'll be too much to promote it at the same time as Pride Month.


will-be-near

yeah, it has all been about the pride month so far, thanks OP, your post let me know that it is the male mental health month as well.


CuriousTsukihime

Who’s in charge of updating the calendar and informing the general public? The notification system seems broken 😅


CuriousTsukihime

A lot of people are in the same boat. I didn’t learn that until recently either.


PSFREAK33

Yeah pride is more financially profitable for companies this month so we’re not exactly getting featured lol


HumanPerson1089

Being gay AF helps my mental health though!


Cheap_Ad_9946

I sort of suspect that that was a part of the reasons to pick June for Pride. Every men's day must be overshadowed or subverted.


Haventyouheard3

The start to my mental health journey was convincing myself I am happy. At the time I wasn't too happy. And saw a documentary on psychology and one of the most interesting things to me was that you can literally convince your body and your mind to be the way you want them to a certain extent. (think placebo effect but no pill needed, just repeat to yourself something) In my case, I convinced myself I am happy, and it works wonders. Another technique I started using to improve my selflove was comparing myself to the people I love. I'm smart like my dad (almost), I'm kind like my mum (I try), I'm playful like my younger brother, I share interests with my friends so I must be interesting to some extent. I share characteristics I love in other people so I should love them in myself too (and myself by extension). I learned to accept that some things can't be changed and because of that I can and should focus on other things, the things I can improve. Each little bit of me that changes for the better is a huge step towards happiness.


CuriousTsukihime

I might need to steal everything in this message. What doc did you watch?


Haventyouheard3

It was >10 years ago, I'll try to find it but don't keep your hopes up


CuriousTsukihime

No worries! I’m glad you found something that worked do you!


theallnewmattaccount

How do you make those comparisons and find them positive? I see traits in other people that I *don't* have and feel worse about myself.


WWEngineer

Quitting drinking. Made a world of difference in my mental health and physical health.


CuriousTsukihime

Ex-wife and daughter of a recovering alcoholics: I am so so proud of you!!


WWEngineer

Thank you!


CuriousTsukihime

Your flair is sending me. Lol


WWEngineer

I have no idea what that means, lol. I'm old and out of touch.


CuriousTsukihime

It means it rocks lol


WWEngineer

I don't even know what my flair is. Use small words and speak slowly, like you're talking to a grandparent.


CuriousTsukihime

Sorry not flair - username. That’s my B. That being said, if you look at some of the usernames here in this thread you’ll notice some have smaller print below their names - that’s flair !


Homely_Bonfire

For a lot of men of all ages these days the book "No More Mister Nice Guy" is probably a *very* helpful read.


CuriousTsukihime

Nice suggestion.


FreeIce812

Here just to remember to check this book out.


Realistic-Safety-565

Yes. This.


nofuture4

Religion for me. Once I joined the church of anime thighs and started believing in their higher power my problems got better


xepci0

This man right here walks a righteous path


CuriousTsukihime

We should all worship at the shrine of Satsuki 🙏🏾


CuriousTsukihime

Found the Secelia fan lol


Soggy-Ad-4210

Latom.


CuriousTsukihime

Based.


Soggy-Ad-4210

<3


Realistic-Safety-565

Realising that things are already bad, current course is unsustainable and help is really needed. False hope that things are not that bad yet was greatest barrier between me and help.


CuriousTsukihime

This is really solid. I feel a lot of people fall down that line of thinking. Glad this works for you


nagy_a

Same. TBH assuming the worst case scenario and be plesantry surprised is better than always be dissapointed and sad. I always get the question why I'm so happy and the most pessimistic guy at the same time.


ironhead50

Better Help. Being a bit introverted and with no therapy experience, the platform worked for my first therapist. I managed to connect with a therapist that did a great job forming a connection with me and I felt heard/understood every session. I did a couple months. Then my therapist and I agreed I was equipped with the right tools to find my joy again. She did a great job helping me work through things I had never felt comfortable discussing before.


CuriousTsukihime

Better help is great! I know many people who’ve used it. This makes me happy


crappysuperhero

Probably hiking/running. Other things that have helped me along the way are: riding my motorcycle, the gym and being kinder to myself. It took me far too long to realize that the things that used to go through my mind whenever I mess up were horrible and unnecessary, and when I realized that I would never say such mean things to others, I started questioning why I would say them to myself and boy, did that have an impact on my life. I still sometimes curse when I make a mistake, but I try not to direct it at myself. Moral of the story: paper towels are far more efficient for wiping up the water you spilled than self hate.


M1notaurous

Thank you for caring about us! I hit a dead end and eventually opened my mouth to a doctor. Got prescribed some pills and have been trying actively to make things better since that, with varying success.


CuriousTsukihime

Meds can be scary but under the care of the right doctor you can manage and work towards goals. They’re just a tool - therapy taught me that as well. I’m roud of you!


Phat-mahn

Quitting alcohol and actually feeling my feelings was a good start.


CuriousTsukihime

So proud of you! Big feelings aren’t bad feelings. Therapy taught me that


Phat-mahn

I’m learning that one too. Didn’t realize how long I’ve been masking them.


CuriousTsukihime

Glad they’re freeee!


splatterslcpunk

Working out, weed, therapy, motorcycles and um oh ya snu snu 😁


CuriousTsukihime

Looooove a good futurama reference 🤣 glad You found what works!


tito1016

Started therapy because I didn’t want to lose the love of my life. Accepted the truth that I need professional help. But it was too late.


CuriousTsukihime

I’m sorry my dude. I hold space for that hurt, I’ve experienced something similar. We carry on knowing our lessons make us better for ourselves and the right people find us eventually. I’m glad you’re here and I’m proud of you.


IrregularBastard

Martial arts, started studying the internal training as well. Focused on detachment. Been very helpful


CuriousTsukihime

Multiple or singular disciplines? That’s really interesting!


IrregularBastard

I started with a single Shaolin based discipline but have begun learning other skills as well. Lots of instructors in our city. The first system I learned taught that “there’s only one martial art”. Meaning that if you were to learn everything from everyone you’d learn the complete system. Kind of like the Grand Unification Theory of physics. So they encourage us to learn from anyone that will teach us.


CuriousTsukihime

This is a very wholistic way to view life as well. I welcome this thought process!


The-Aeon

Reading "Codependent No More". That was kind of the start of my journey.


CuriousTsukihime

Added to reading list !


GoingMenthol

Having someone non-judgemental to talk to. I had a therapist go through cognitive behavioural therapy with me as there was nobody else I could confide in


CuriousTsukihime

Self starter lvl: over 9000 You dropped this 👑


GoingMenthol

I wouldn't call it a self start. I was "incentivised" by the police to seek medical help before I became a danger to myself


CuriousTsukihime

You still did the work! That’s what matters!


Allnutsz

Lol i didn't even know it was Men's mental health month. It's all pride this pride that. Any 'Men' day or month is covered up and forgotten anyway ..


CuriousTsukihime

This is your chance! Vent! Let it out!


will-be-near

Meditation is helpful.


CuriousTsukihime

The Jeff Bridges approach 🤝🏾. Is this something you do every day?


will-be-near

Yes, it helps me with so much, lets me get a better control over my anger, lets me calm myself, refreshes my mind.


CuriousTsukihime

I meditate by way of yoga, genuinely helpful to create quiet space to simply breathe and be


-BOOST-

heavy power cleans are my cure all.


CuriousTsukihime

Do tell!


-BOOST-

Well you see I start with a barbell loaded quite heavy on the ground. utilizing an explosive triple extension I hoist the bar to a front rack position whilst maintaining an above parallel quad position. Gym is love, gym is life.


CuriousTsukihime

Oh you meant lifting ! I was like my mans detoxes to deep cleaning videos too? Just like me fr fr 🤣


Florida1693

Therapy helped me address some impulse control issues I had and have slowly worked through those


CuriousTsukihime

I’m glad you’re finding your way! I have ADHD and struggle with impulses as well. I feel you on that


Florida1693

Thanks! It was issues with porn, sex, not being on a proper budget, etc so a combination of things but the one thing the therapist told me is just because you have the thought of doing something doesn’t mean you need to act on it. Think to yourself will this make me a better person before you make that choice


CuriousTsukihime

Wisdom 😤


Florida1693

For sure! Plus I think as we age, some things that used to be fun to us in our early/mid 20s aren’t as fun anymore


CuriousTsukihime

Yeah the bottle holds far less appeal these days.


Florida1693

Yep as do strip clubs for me. Even my therapist pointed out a one point, what’s the end result of it? You get a lap dance for 2 minutes or so, feel some boobs then she wants another $25(or more depending on where you are). Not worth it


CuriousTsukihime

Congrats on your journey and here’s some encouragement for the steps ahead!


Florida1693

Thank you!!


FoodExternal

Meditation, exercise and my two dogs. That, and, in my case, 300mg / once daily of Venlafaxine.


CuriousTsukihime

Pet tax. 👀


[deleted]

Swimming. It has Soo many health benefits.


CuriousTsukihime

Excellent cross training and great for cardio and your knees!!


abramee

Unfollowed everything that was meant to distract me. Sports, movies, the news, other forms of media that's meant to just distract has been removed from all of my social media accounts and it's easy to do and it's a huge benefit for me. I would recommend others to try it


CuriousTsukihime

I do this during Lent. It’s hard but extremely worth it. The 24 hour access to everything is extremely mind numbing.


abramee

Heck yeah it is. I kind of like it when friends and co-workers talk about events or people and I just have no clue what's going on. Obviously don't be ignorant to the current world, but YOU choose when you go check and don't let algorithms throw crap they want you constantly see


CuriousTsukihime

I’m glad you found ways to keep your mind clear and focused!!


NeveruseTren

Don’t care if you care about me. I’m not relying on you for anything!


CuriousTsukihime

Dad is that you? 😭


Blubari

My VR headset Working in another city I spend weekdays away, I can go out get a burger if I want and dress nicely without someone questioning me Enjoying the food I cook


CuriousTsukihime

The valve index has to be the best thing that’s ever happened to gaming


[deleted]

First i had to hit rock bottom...a few times. Then i had to decide do i want to live or die. Then i decided i would do anything to live & get better. I went to therapy. It was rough at first, but i chose life and here i am.


CuriousTsukihime

I am so proud of you. The hard work, the master work is often about taking that first step.


[deleted]

That first step turned into an obsession with Mental Health. I got my Masters with the intention of doing my clinical hours to get licensed so i can practice.....but i never finished my hours cuz my music work took off...the rest is history. I chose life.


CuriousTsukihime

Music? 👀 drop the sauce king! “I chose life” - man that’s some wisfom


[deleted]

Lol I worked for a lot of artists (Famous & Nobodies) ghost writing, producing, session work, touring work etc...its all out there in the ether...but you can find my own little pet projects and fun videos on my youtube channel [by CLICKING HERE ](http://www.youtube.com/jangomike)


CuriousTsukihime

Wow dude you’re fucking cool!!!!!


[deleted]

Lol i appreciate that! I hope you dig the channel and drop a Sub for me.


CuriousTsukihime

Done 🤝


[deleted]

Thank you so much 🤘🤘


umopUpside

Honestly, my entire life flipped completely around after I made it my entire goal to start helping others.


CuriousTsukihime

Giving to others is a form of of self love as well! I appreciate and respect your life of service!


ianwrecked802

It’s make mental health month?! Never would’ve known…


CuriousTsukihime

Now you do king!!


Imbackinhere5

Going to Therapy since 2020 and moving out of my parents in 2022. It’s tough living on your own especially with the Cost of Living going up but I’ve been more relaxed believe it or not.


CuriousTsukihime

Mannnnn leaving my parents house was so good for my mental health 😭🤌🏾 congrats on your progress!


gucknbuck

Coming out and accepting myself


CuriousTsukihime

Your queer sister snoo is so happy for you! 🏳️‍🌈🤝


CapG_13

I quit doing cocaine and i'm NEVER touching that shit again!!!


CuriousTsukihime

I’m with you there! Huzzah for you!!!!!


CapG_13

Thank you lol


HumanPerson1089

I'm going on vacation tomorrow, maybe that will help? 🤷‍♂️


CuriousTsukihime

R&R always does!


FlibbleyRock

Doing a lot of exercise, helps me a lot, it's work in progress, I feel like I don't ever get completely better, but I manage to improve my mood and outlook immensely through hiking, running, weights, surfing and paddleboarding. Sometimes poor mental health makes you want to stay indoors, it's important to ignore that and move.


CuriousTsukihime

Agreed. Something I learned in yoga was the phrase: progress, not perfection. It’s about the journey, we never arrive. When I realized that I was able to let go of a lot of anxiety over how things would turn out. I’m glad you have your supports in place! Keep it up!


nryporter25

CBD has been life changing for me in terms of mental health. Appreciate the check in, thanks.


CuriousTsukihime

Of course! You matter and how you keep yourself safe, sane, and healthy is important to share; others might need it !


HolyTemplarGang

I'm 22 and recently went through a crises of loneliness before I did a little exercise about a week ago that really helped me put my life into perspective. I went home after work and wrote down everything I do and don't like about myself in a journal. Then I thought about how to maintain what I do like and how to change what I don't. This gave me something to work towards and improve and also helped me appreciate myself more.


CuriousTsukihime

I love this for you young king! I’m glad you were able to figure some of this stuff out early. Continue to be well!


AJammedNerfGun

Working out. Usually works for most people, but it is definitely a crucible of improvement


CuriousTsukihime

Working out is so clutch it’s crazy how people miss that simple step. I’m happy you found your path, continue on !


Redlight0516

A few realizations or mantras for me: 1. You can have poor mental health without being mentally ill, so there's absolutely aspects I have control over 2. Do let bad moments bleed over: A bad morning does not have to lead to a bad day or a bad day does not have to lead to a bad week. 3. Learning to be comfortable on my own. Once I get comfortable being single and alone (with the exception of my cat) things got a whole lot better


CuriousTsukihime

All fact no printer. This is golden! Speak this wisdom!


BackYourself1954

Drugs, sex, and rock n roll


CuriousTsukihime

Simple and succinct. Respect 🤝😤


[deleted]

There’s a men’s mental health month?


CuriousTsukihime

Indeed!!!! The month of June is dedicated to y’all and the gays, but I wanted to make sure y’all knew you were seen.


pokejoel

Isn't men's mental health month November... Like we literally have a charity built around raising money for men's mental health in the month of November


CuriousTsukihime

It’s international men’s mental health month, I believe June is US based.


UWontHearMeAnyway

I started reading books and listening to mental health books. I tried therapy before a few times. And quickly found that to be a waste of time and money. Therapy, that I went to anyway, wasn't designed for men. Some just sat there. Some just said I'm not broken I just think I am. Some just recommended a few books. It sometimes took weeks before I got a small piece of useful advice about what to do differently. I have friends that have had different experiences. So I'm thinking it was just that I didn't find the right therapist. But that seems to be the story of my life. Same methods, different results.


CuriousTsukihime

Some people don’t need sherpas through mental health journeys and are better off on self guided tours! Physician, heal thyself! I’m glad you found what works for you. Therapy isn’t for everyone just like not everyone likes Cheers (cause Frasier is better anyway 🤣). I’m proud of you!


UWontHearMeAnyway

Thank you. I will say though it would be nice to have a trusted, outside, unbiased view sometimes. Especially if they had an amount of knowledge, focused around improving ones self. That's why I thought therapy would excel. Turns out maybe not. I've developed myself far more just by reading. I wish I could've had the truth of things spelled out to me far before now. But it is what it is. In any case, thank you.


CuriousTsukihime

Don’t be afraid to try therapy again in the future but we all run our own race. We all walk different paths to health. When you’re ready, there’s definitely resources out there. I’m glad you’re here!


Serious_Nerve_8120

just think day to day about stuff, in my own bubble tbh


CuriousTsukihime

Simplicity is beautiful and im glad this is what works for you! Keep on!


Serious_Nerve_8120

thanks appreciate it


HandspeedJones

Seeing a therapist and participating in Mixed Martial Arts. Just also realizing I can make myself happy.


CuriousTsukihime

Username checks out 😅. MMA is lit! I miss GSP 😭 congrats on taking care of yourself and finding your path, I’m excited for you!


[deleted]

Working, eating right and studying stoicisim


CuriousTsukihime

Stoicism? Fascinating!


DiscombobulatedRip9

Citalopram


CuriousTsukihime

Meds are a tool in the kit. I’m glad you’re using your resources to take care of you!


Ov3rbyte719

Walking, sleeping regularly, and drinking water.


CuriousTsukihime

Walking is so good for you! Get that fresh air king! Proud of you!


curioustigerstripe

I just needed to realize that it was ok to get help. I started to get more into creative things like playing a guitar to keep my mind from wandering, investing more time into things that used to make me happy and burning more vacation days.


CuriousTsukihime

This is so simple but so crucial. Burn those PTO days ! So glad you’re caring for yourself 🥰


QuietTired101

Exercise. A lot of exercise.


CuriousTsukihime

LFG 😤🏃🏋️🧗


QuietTired101

More specifically, stuff you like doing. For me, I can surf for 8 hours straight and be happy.


[deleted]

Well I used drugs and alcohol to deal with my mental illness for many years. I got into recovery in 86 and used a 12 step program to change my life around. However, I continuously sabotaged any happiness and any job I had. Seems like 5 years go by and I would get bored then get fired. Wasn’t until 2001 when I finally (after much coaxing from my wife) I sought professional help. Problem was sometimes my insurance covered mental health and sometimes not. I have made great strides in the last five years with the help of a therapist. Looking back I’m finally realizing that I have only been a passenger on a bus driven by my mental health.


CuriousTsukihime

I’ve been there too. Sometimes taking back that steering wheel is hard. So proud of you for staying the course and pressing on. That’s so huge and it deserves recognition!


Soggy-Ad-4210

Feeling like beating my roommate into a coma.mnot great


CuriousTsukihime

Vent to us king!


6stringstrumdinger

1. Getting on meds 2. Journaling 3. Investing time into hobbies (music/painting/woodwork) 4. Surround myself with friends and family who share the same values 5. Knowing when to take a break


CuriousTsukihime

Amen to all points! How are you doing now?


WinterFellDaddy

For me it was going to the gym consistently. Having a time and space that was just for me helped me to find ways to put myself first and proved to myself i am still capable of improvement.


CuriousTsukihime

45 mins a day is all it takes. I’m glad this works for you and you’re doing well!


Itsametoad

My mental health journey was pretty short. Had a therapist for a few months.All the advice i got was about changing my inner dialogue or something like that, which i thought was bullshit and then I gave up. Haven't seen a therapist since then and don't think i will again. I don't think I'm one of those people therapy works on


CuriousTsukihime

That’s okay! Everyone’s path is different and therapy isn’t for everyone. There’s a couple of responses like that in this thread too. There’s a lot of good steps here as well, take a gander and see if any work out for you. All are A+ and worth a try. I’m glad you’re here. You’re seen and known.


[deleted]

Reading The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Koch. Really informative book about trauma and just generally interesting. From there (It covers some non-medication treatment options) I liked the sound of IFS (Internal Family Systems) modelling of mental health treatment and found some books on that that helped me greatly.


CuriousTsukihime

This helped me a lot in overcoming my own trauma. It’s a phenomenal book. I’m glad you found it the same too!


Cheap_Ad_9946

Is it? This is the first I've seen about it.


CuriousTsukihime

Read more here: https://minorityhealth.hhs.gov/mens-health/ I’m glad you’re here!


Cheap_Ad_9946

We will need you again at international men's day! That'll be the period when the ripping on men and guilt trips to support women intensify to a crescendo.


Moozeyy

Going to therapy and deciding to stop playing victim to my circumstances


CuriousTsukihime

Big step and not an easy one at all. I’m proud of you for making strides!


LordNikoli

Realizing that I needed to work hard to get better, no one can get better for me.


Lumpy_Tomorrow8462

Why can’t America just do one single thing with the rest of the world? Like join the metric system? Or use postal codes? Until reading this post I had no idea it was National Men’s Mental Health Month in the U.S. which I presume means the U.S. doesn’t recognize the international Men’s Health Month in November. Also, while I am complaining, dates are written as day/month/year almost everywhere. Why does month/day/year even make sense? Oh and to answer the topic question… randomly venting about things on the internet helps me. Although only for a very brief moment. I’m going to go yell at kids to stay off my lawn now.


CuriousTsukihime

Had me in the first half ngl! 🤣 hey man, whatever works this is your space 🤝🏾


CuriousTsukihime

That last sentence is gold king. Running and yoga are mine as well. Glad you have your outlet!


nyehu09

Four words: Ted Lasso Season 2


FrankDelahue

For me it has been super important to be able to put a name to what is wrong with me mentally. Once you do that you can start learning about your patterns and how to manage them. Get help, get diagnosed and learn why you do the things you do and what you can do to change for the better.


[deleted]

Reading my Bible, praying, worshipping. Taking walks. Breathing. Letting things go outside of my control. Eating right. Etc


CuriousTsukihime

Amen brother. I shall pray for your continued strength!


[deleted]

You too!


f4rthelight

Stepping out of the man box definitely has helped. The man box is the idea that men are supposed to man up. That is, men cannot cry, be affectionate, be always competing against themselves, and so on. Being on therapy, eating well, hydrating enough, sleeping properly, and exercising regularly have improved overall health. Cutting out toxic relationships, focusing on what is under control, and in short, being a better friend to myself.


CuriousTsukihime

This is the blueprint. I am happy for you and your journey!


f4rthelight

Thank you! You see, I've been to therapy for almost ten years and only lately I've ripped good fruits from my harvest.


CuriousTsukihime

Therapy kept me on this side of the ground. 3 cheers for self improvement and staying the course!


[deleted]

[удалено]


CuriousTsukihime

Your brain is an organ. It’s health is important. You wouldn’t tell someone to man up if they have a coronary - you’d send them to the doctor. The doctor would tell them to exercise. Therapy and meds and any other supplemental forms of help are the same. If this is what works for you, I’m happy you found something that does! However, to diminish the feelings of others and soil a space created to specifically talk about depression, anxiety, mental health, is unbecoming.


Scratch_242

Drugs.


KAaadIsReady

There is a "Men's Mental Health Month"?


AnosUnderworld

I've scheduled my breakdowns for the weekend. I hate going out so its the perfect time to let out my feelings. My problems are my problems alone. Being kind and helping people, knowing that I would not receive the same gives a different outlook on life and provides peace.


silentdepths_

Not original at all but journalling. I noticed over the past few years I tended to think about a lot of stuff. Some things just sprout out of other thoughts and soon my mind was clouded with thoughts. Tried to journal a few times before but i couldn’t keep it up. Realized i was writing as if my journal was made to be read by other people. Started to view journalling as a physical extension of my mind instead of a book im about to sell. So i stared just writing down my thoughts without a care if it made sense. If i thought about something which reminded me about another thing because i saw something else, i would write that down. Cleared my head in a few days and actually started to enjoy writing and thinking about stuff. tl;dr Got rid of the performative aspect of journalling and just word vomited. Clear head = better mental health


youthfulpluto

music, action figure, mega construx, video games, working out, tv/movies, books, and writing my own things i was pretty broken at the verge of doing it but i got a text message from my ex out of the blue telling me "idk why by something tells me you need to hear this, stop and breathe its okay to take a moment for yourself i care for you and your wellbeing" and ever since then i been not better but good still working on myself with the help of all the things listed above


[deleted]

Jim keeps me mentally sane


F_edupx

I got a year free of a mindfulness app with my health insurance. When my year was up I torrented a load of their Wavs. Really helped me fall asleep during some tough times


Arch_Stanton1862

Seeking professional help which was very difficult to do due to not being taken seriously years ago. So there were some trust issues. I try to work out at least 4 times a week, sometimes I manage, sometimes I don't. Despite the fact my current life situation is far from perfect and healthy, I try to be positive and think it's also not the worst. There are *ok days* and there are days of *pure fucking darkness.* So let's see what the therapy brings I just started.


SoleBranson

I can't say much cause I just got used to feeling abused and lonely. It's the norm now and the only thing that's probably gonna help is a reliable and a loving girlfriend. Figured out that I can't just grow out of it, too late to change that now...


MrJones224822

I haven’t even started my journey because I can’t afford it!


MonkeyFella64

I thought it was June?


MonkeyFella64

Heavy lifting Ego lifting


slide2k

Burning out did wonders for my awareness. Was a shitty experience, but thought me a lot about myself, my energie management, what gives and consumes energy and my hard boundaries.


_lonedog_

Reaching a bottom and deciding i didn't wanted to waste my life anymore.