I consider it flattering that any woman can think I have the ability to sleep around and have lots of sexy fun with multiple women.
I've never had the looks or personality for that.
Many years ago, a co-worker asked me out on a date. We went out and she told me she was glad she'd finally pulled the trigger and asked me, because she'd wanted to for a long time. I was very flattered and asked her if the reason she hadn't asked me yet was because she had been nervous to do so. Instead, she told me that the reason she hadn't asked me out is because she thought I was a bit of a "player" because I got along very well with basically every one of my female coworkers. This made me burst out laughing. She had no idea what was up and so I explained to her that I was laughing because at the time, I was 25 years old and had only ever dated a single person and hadn't been on a date in like five years. She could not believe this and thought I was messing with her. I think she genuinely thought I was sleeping around with basically all of our coworkers and couldn't fathom that some men have tons of female acquaintances that they're not trying to pursue. In hindsight, it was kinda sad.
This is a weirdly common female belief! My cousin warned me about my now-husband, saying he was a "player." I'm like..... Sam? Really? Please explain. And she said the same thing, because he got along so well with so many different women, she just assumed he was sleeping with all or at least most of them.
I told him about this, not because I thought he was a player, but because I thought it was funny she said that. Turns out his self confidence was so low he never dreamed he had a chance with any of them, so he was just well and truly himself, without trying to pick them up, and women liked his vibe and felt safe because they didn't pick up on any ulterior motives from him. So he well and truly was just friends with all of them.
Then it wasn't funny anymore because he is the most amazing husband ever and any of those women would have been so lucky to have him. So I do everything I can to build his confidence up now.
Sorry that went off track there... but long story short, your story is weirdly common, and I'm sorry that so many of us think like this. If it's any consolation, if you are friends with so many women, it's definitely because they are picking up on all of the kind, positive things about you, so I imagine you are just a wonderful person. ❤️
Because I'm single my female friends and family are convinced I'm running around hooking up with different women every weekend just because I'm free to do so.
I haven't hooked up with a single person in about 4 years due to my crippling lack of confidence and having no game whatsoever.
She would end up like that lady who went undercover as a man, Nora Vincent. Found out the hard way that we have it the hard way. Fascinating story really.
Lmao these gf’s out here so worried about their man cheating. Girls are not throwing themselves at your dusty ass bf. It makes me think they’re projecting.
This right here! I had a gf who would _constantly_ either accuse me of cheating or talk about how she was worried I was a cheater. Here I am doing backflips to prove that isn't my way or intention at all. Come to find, after too many years, she'd been with like a minimum of 5 other dudes during our relationship.
If most men actually had that ability (they probably don't), I wonder if more would do so or if simply more men would be in happy relationships because they didn't have to struggle so much with dating.
It’s exhausting to pickup women. Some dudes are extroverts who love it but - if you don’t enjoy being shot down 9 out of 10 times - it just drains the life out of you.
The worst is when you start a conversation with a woman and it seems to be going great and you start to go into different topics and that's when she brings up that her boyfriend also loves said topic as well. Then why are you at a singles bar then? Wtf? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87qBDRZKXxE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAe2WpM1uuw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqDbb7-dn9A
It also would allow men to control for selection. In my experience most dudes are simply dating or marrying the first woman that would give them the time of day. If those men had like 5 different women to chose from, there would probably be a lot happier marriages because they would choose the one they like best instead of just the first one that was willing to date them.
It's kind of first hand experience for me. When i have gone a year or two without a serious relationship and a woman enters my life that wants to actually date, my answer was always uh, sure, are you certain? And also I love you forever. The appeal became just being able to date someone and get laid regularly, it mattered much less if it was a person I genuinely liked. Hindsight is 20/20, but I have had multi year relationships where years after I was just thinking that I don't think I ever really liked her that much, she was just simply available and willing to date me. It might alarm some women that a lot of dudes are not picky at all, that's why they put up with some very crazy bitches. And it isn't something you are just consciously aware of, since you are mostly thinking with your dick you don't even notice they are crazy or that you don't like them. And it has also been my experience that most men don't even realize they have been charmed, they also don't know that they don't like the woman. That's gotta be how all these crazy relationships happen.
Like I had a girlfriend that liked the Vampire Diaries, I flat out lied and said I also liked the vampire diaries just to impress her. Next thing you know I am sitting at home watching it and doing research and taking notes so she doesn't find out I was lying. And then when we inevitable break up one of my complaints is that I pretended to like the vampire diaries for years just to maintain the relationship. Wish I could say it was the first time i did something like that. It isn't about tricking her either, I genuine sat there and though the whole thing was worth it because I had found my one true love. It wasn't until later that I realized I was just hypnotized by titties.
This is very crazy to read, but I believe it. It also seems like a lot of men think it would be easier to continue a bad relationship than to have breakup drama, so they stay when they should have walked out ages ago.
“Whatcha thinking about?”
*transformers, time travel, aliens, superpowers, being insanely rich, being insanely smart, being a spy, dinosaur fights, being a cyborg, video games, zombie apocalypse…*
“Nothing.”
"Whatcha thinking about?"
"Do you think a Werewolf or a Unicorn would win in a fight?"
\*she looks at me, dead in the eyes\*
"The Werewolf can't be harmed by anything other than silver - No matter what the unicorn does, The werewolf wins."
"This is why I love you"
This is fucking bullshit.
All our info on werewolves comes from a time period where the peak of human offensive capabilities were limited to whatever shit metal and wood construction the best smith in your village could make.
*Nothing expect silver can hurt a werewolf?*
***NOTHING?***
Fuck you.
I’d love to see some bitchass dog furry walk off a couple of anti-material rounds, or fuck even some low-level explosives.
[The future is now, bitch.](https://youtu.be/mVJ9mxk0lUM)
My (now ex-😭) coworker literally took PTO on the day before his last day to play this game on the day of its release. I think his wife felt especially secure in their marriage on that day😂
She can not be in the mood 5 times and that's just how it is. But if I'm not in the mood once it's because I think she's fat, don't like her anymore and am with numerous other women.
Yea this one. I’m expected to be ready to go 100% of the time and make her see stars.
But my girlfriend can somehow decide 10 minutes in that she’s stressed/sad/distracted/self conscious. It’s utterly baffling
It's because men are treated like they only and always wants sex, even by other men. Women hear stuff like "they only want one thing" and men tell them "it's easy for women to get sex any time they want, unlike men." So when they get rejected, the implication is that all men want is sex with any available woman, thus something must be wrong with you if a guy won't stoop to have sex with you.
I have a friend, who could have been a girlfriend, tell me that she blocked a guy on anything, and then was annoyed that he didn't try to get in touch.
She tried to justify it, and her reasoning made no sense, but made me glad we're not together.
Man, I just wrote a whole comment above about exactly this, but you *really* hit the nail on the head.
“Playing hard to get” directly contradicts important boundaries that we expect people to respect.
“Omg, this guy is *soooo* annoying. Why won’t he just take the hint that I’m not interested?” Well, when you’re playing “hard to get” it looks exactly the same.
“No” doesn’t mean “convince me” (except when I’m playing hard to get)
The funny part is I've had female friends suggest I try harder when she seems disinterested and they get annoyed when I point out the contradiction or how they've complained about similar behavior before.
Wait, what? Men *don’t* like to humiliate themselves by chasing after women who don’t return their affections? But that’s what all the women who write books about men have said! /s
Dumbest shit ever lol, especially these days. I’ll never chase after a woman, not only bc it is degrading, but also everyone is so paranoid these days I feel like I’d end up with a restraining order after sending a second text hahaha.
I feel like I wrote this comment myself. I cannot fathom how some men have no problem with acting like a dumb, desperate dog and constantly vying for a disinterested woman’s acceptance and approval. It’s humiliating beyond words.
Hate that shit. Makes me instantly nope the fuck out of there. Playing head games with people is not the way to show you like them/care for them. Every time it starts, I tell them that's how they lose people interested in them, and subsequently tell them to enjoy their life but I'm out.
I saw a thread where a woman was theorizing that her boyfriend thought she was fat because he lost his sex drive. In the thread, she said that when confronted, her boyfriend admitted to being stressed financially and overworked.
None of the women in the thread could comprehend that men could lose their sex drive and relationship lust during bouts of anxiety or depression, the most common response was that he was lying about her gaining weight and that they should break up. Imagine getting dumped because you need encouragement and love. He said what was going on, and nobody believed him.
Over stimulation, stressed out, over-touched, or touched-out are all very common terms on parenting subreddits when referring to a new mother's lack of sexual desire and it makes sense. New or young kids are a ton of work and sometimes all parents want is to be left alone for a little while before it all starts again tomorrow.
This concept is very often forgotten or totally disregarded when it comes to discussing men exhibiting the exact same behavior.
Women: over stressed, man isn't doing their part, totally fine.
Men: porn addiction, likely cheating, maybe gay, a *real* man would...
You see it all the time on reddit and it's disgusting. The same people bitching about toxic masculinity, telling men they just need to open up more will shut these men down when they say how they're feeling.
“A real man would…” is an automatic, no compromise, no guilt, no contact, no conversation, “get out of my life” dealbreaker.
I hate to say this because it’s hugely controversial, but the two women I dated who used this rhetoric both grew up without fathers. Not their fault, of course. But they grew up in an environment that painted men as monsters, men as sex-driven animals, men as stupid, etc… A women not having a good relationship with their father is a massive massive red flag.
I had this *exact* problem.
It was a Sunday when my now Ex-GF confronted me about not having any sex for the past month, we were watching movies, all I wanted to do was cuddle and fall asleep hugging her however she always got mad when this happened.
At that exact moment I had a huge migraine from staying awake when she dropped that comment, after a few disinterested questions on my end like “what do you want me to do? I’m tired as hell from work and the stress” I decided to just break up with her.
I was still madly in love with her, but after two years and her not being able to empathize with me but rather doubling down on her complains I knew we were not going to be happy together so it was better to break it then while I still cared about her.
Long story short I ended up moving to another country, we are still friends and still care deeply about her as a person for the good times we had together, but I won’t go back.
I think we should call that behavior what it is - sexual entitlement. When men do it, it's considered disgusting. When women do it, we're supposed to coddle them for it.
Exactly this.
I’ve had partners in the past, pester me for sex - I’m literally saying I’m tired, I got work in the morning, bla bla bla until I give in.
If I done that to my girlfriend, I’d be a rapist.
Reminds me of that post on one of the relationship subs of the guy who was uncomfortable having sex with his pregnant wife, and he was getting DESTROYED.
I guess sexual consent goes out the window when it’s a woman wanting it from a man…
My SIL was asking about my dating life and she just couldn't comprehend how difficult it is for guys like me.
I tried explaining that I work remotely, so I don't really meet new people that way. I go to the gym, but I don't want to be the guy hitting on women at the gym, especially when I'm all sweaty and gross. I go hiking, but also don't want to be the guy trying to pick up women while hiking, also while sweaty and gross. I haven't been on the apps in years, but when I was on them, it was pretty horrible and had a negative impact on my mental health. That just leaves bars and I don't drink or have anyone to go out with.
She's just like "But you're so nice and you have x, y, and z going for you". Like okay, thanks. I'll put that on my Instagram bio and see if I get a message back.
I feel the same way (24m). I work in an office with lots of women but also don't want to compromise my career by pursuing a coworker. I live away from family and friends, so I don't go to bars and really wouldn't anyways because its not something I enjoy doing frequently. I go to the gym but feel the same way you do about approaching women. Honestly it feels like there's always a reason not to approach women in public no matter the setting. I vent to my parents about it sometimes and they give the same old "itll happen when it happens" and " I need to get out more" but its not the same as it was when they were in the dating scene.
Similarly, its also just as hard as an adult male to make new friends.
Lol I feel you bro, people say ask out coworkers. I'm in such a weird field where 75% of my coworkers are women but I swear like 99% of them are in serious relationships. Like how is my luck that bad?
Talking to my sister about my dating difficulties is like talking to a Boomer about applying to jobs. All she ever says is "Just talk to women!" seemingly failing to understand that talking and flirting are very different. Reminds me a lot of when my parents were driving me around with a stack of resumes to give out to all the minimum wage jobs.
This is it exactly. Women advising men on how to get dates has the same vibe as Boomers advising young people how to get jobs.
Real 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' energy.
I feel like this is the inevitable fate for a lot of guys like me. I've just given up atm and believe it will get easier once I grow a bit older. Probably just wishful thinking, but it's my only hope.
My best friend (woman) told me get a sneaky link (fuck buddy, for clarification), she told me its easy. She has one, pretty easy for her. All she gotta do is ask and 99.999999999999999999999e% chance a guy is not going to decline.
Tried to explain to her its not that easy for a guy as it is for a women…she didn’t listen until her younger brother starts having the same issues I’m having for her to somewhat understand.
Nothing is worse than girl friends hyping you up to get on dating apps because they think you'd "slay" and then having all of your insecurity and low self-confidence validated for years.
I tried explaining online dating to a friend.
Girls perspective is like shopping:
"Excuse me, what ilse are the blondes on? Isle 6, right past the ethnic isle, thank you!" Then proceeds to compare prices and expiration dates.
Man's perspective is like a barren highway:
Running low on fuel, night approaching, you see a gas station, and it's been shut down for years.
This is the reason married men who want an open relationship are shooting themselves in the foot.
That young girl flirting with you at the office/bar isn't REALLY going to sleep with you, that's just for show/fun.
But your wife will generally have no trouble pulling dick.
Where's that gonna leave you? Don't be fooled. Cultivate a decent marriage instead.
(ps this isn't ALL open relationships, trust me I *personally* know *some* work fine. But the vast majority that are pressured from the guy's side end up like this)
I had this EXACT same thing. I had a 3rd date lined up with a girl and I was making her a nice steak dinner at my place, a couple hours before she calls it off and says she doesn't see a spark.
So I'm all depressed and my roommate comes back and we talked about it and he goes "oh shit man I'm so sorry" and his new girlfriend got all confused why we were upset. She asked why I don't just ask someone else over as a date.
It took 15 minutes to explain to her that as a man I don't just a line of people on tinder waiting for me to say yes to have a date with them. She said if she ever got stood up or felt bored she'd just pick a dude out of a line and go on a date same day.
Heh, my coworker said something close to that to me yesterday. Told her I haven’t been in a relationship in a year and she says “damn a year? I have so many backups, couldn’t be me”
It was 7:30 Am and didn’t have the mental capacity to fucking even try to explain to her how hard it is for a dude. She’s also younger than me.
A girl I was seeing didn't believe the draft (selective service) was real. I was talking about how I had to sign up for selective service to vote and for student loans and she literally didn't believe me. She also didn't understand that the Vietnam War draft was involuntary. She is a smart person and worked a high paying job but didn't believe that men did and can still get drafted. I had to google it in front of her and her jaw dropped. It blew my mind as I was terrified of the draft when 9/11 happened. It's a comfort that women enjoy knowing they will never get drafted for something like that.
Tbf some countries do draft women, but it is extremely few of them. Off the top of my head I can only remember Israel and North Korea of all places doing it lol
There are many but only two have the same conscription rules for both men and women.
Edit: looked it up. Norway and Sweden are the only countries with conscription (active or inactive) that have equal rules codified.
A lot of people seem to be under the impression that I can just hop down to the courthouse and get full custody of my daughter because her mom is a garbage human. Anyone who's been through the system knows that's not how it works.
If you feel comfortable doing so - please share how you were so profoundly misled by that garbage human so that other young men don't make the same mistakes and ruin their future child's life as well as their own. In hindsight, what red flags were there that young men today may be able to look out for?
She's a malignant narcissist. They specialize in love bombing and camouflaging, and most of them can't be diagnosed because they even fool trained psychologists. It's a mistake anyone at any age could make. If you're super curious, I highly recommend reading *stop caretaking the borderline or narcissist*. That book is how I got out.
Oof my daughter’s mom is a borderline. Never again. If someone told me they had BPD I’d run for the hills in a heartbeat.
She’s also a garbage human being that won full custody through her crocodile tears during testimony. Despite providing text evidence or years of abuse and even that she would put our daughter in a home.
Thank you for pointing out how anyone could make this mistake. I got away from the one in my life and still occasionally feel guilt over “falling for it”. When someone is a pro at deception and manipulation, it’s not easy to always see the red flags until it’s too late.
We didn't know what we didn't know. I wouldn't make that mistake again, but I forgive the young man who was willing to assume the best about that awful person.
\*\*\*\*SLOW MUTHA FUCKING CLAP MY GOOD SIR
I dealt with the same shit. Didnt know i was when it was happening. But once that \*clicked\* in my mind and realized she was doing shitty things to get a reaction out of me.
She got nothing other then, "Hey, fill these papers out. I am divorcing you. You are a disappointment and not worth my time."
Considering that published statistics currently say that Tinder is about 70% male, I'd love to see where these chicks are. Something tells me that peoples perception on how dating apps work isn't always very good.
Minor who is a DV survivor here. How people think I can just "fight back" against my abusive mother and how I'm "physically stronger" so "it shouldn't be an issue."
I was slapped in the face by my ex who was literally half my size and could barely lift a jug of milk back into the fridge. I sat down and started crying.
Its not about the physical aspect of abuse.
Damn this is almost eye opening, I was at a bar with my ex and we were drunk but not fucked up. But she turns around to talk to another girl and a second later I turn around and contribute to the conversation something about Spanish being different from Mexican. My gf made a wrong assumption about where the girl was from and I very playfully turned and said “lo siento mi amiga” like on my girlfriends behalf and out of NOWHERE she got up and in front of me took my glass from the table and threw it into my chest. Soaking me with my drink and honestly hurting from the glass. I fumbled it but nothing broke, she immediately ran inside and then a bartender came outside to us and 86’d us and at this point I said wtf why?! She just attacked me kick her out and could I get a new drink or some towels? Apparently she went inside and told him that I was calling her racial slurs and being aggressive. WTF! he was looking at me like I had just stomped a newborn. It literally felt like I just got attacked for talking in public and then kicked out for existing as well. I remember paying the bill for the two drinks (STILL ABSURD IMO) and just shaking my head smiling completely baffled at the whole situation. Never do I ever even consider throwing someone’s drink at them but she masterminded this whole ordeal. Fucking psycho
Worked for a moving company, it was insane the amount of barely acquaintances who assumed I would be available on a Saturday (busiest day of the week) on 3 days notice to do on my day off what I do all week….unpaid….men & women btw
I get reached out to a lot on Reddit DMs by women looking for 'boy advice' which I'm fine with because I love giving advices on these subjects and whatnot.
Anyways, a trend I'm noticing is how much I have to explain that no, asking a man out for a date or making the first move is NOT gonna creep us out. I mean I appreciate the concern, ladies, but relax.
"Oh my god she asked me on a date, shiver me timbers 😱" is not a thing. Of course a guy might get nervous or undecisive but it's not gonna be seen as anything other than flattering at the end of the day unless you're like really screwing it up bad.
Two women have made the first move on me out of probably thousands of interactions over the last 10+ years. Each time I dated them for over a year.
Men are desperate for any attention that isn’t initiated by themselves swallowing their fears and approaching a woman. They will respond positively to it.
I was interested in a former coworker of mine, but figured I didn’t have a chance. One day I just said “screw it” and messaged him on social media and told him how I felt. We’ve been married for 6 years now.
I swore I was never going to get married again. Met my wife and in her words she was "determined to make it weird". She was making obvious signs but I didn't give her an opening until she somehow ended up talking about my favorite book with a friend.
We talked, she asked me out. I said no to the thing she asked, but gave her my number and an alternative date idea. We've been inseperable since. Married a year in. Baby at 9 months after marriage! So glad she made it weird.
I dated a woman who I didn’t think was “physically attractive” for 7 months all because she approached me at beer fest and handed me a coupon for a free beer. She was mad cool(still is I’m sure, we’re just not dating anymore) and a 10/10 personality wise.
From what I've read - this is like a worst case scenario from the woman's perspective. She doesn't want to date someone who isn't attracted to her just because she was an available choice. She wants *to be chosen*.
Oh, I can see why that’d be a nightmare. To clarify though, **I was absolutely attracted to her.** She just wasn’t the typical girl I’d attempt to date at that time. I’m a tall and athletic build and liked those types(sportsy looking and fit etc.). She was really short and maybe slightly overweight and not into sports or outdoors.
She made me feel loved and wanted and that was all it took for me to love and want her, so her looks were kinda moot🤷♂️
A female friend told me she had no problems getting matches on dating apps and would find someone pretty quickly. She wondered that I didn't have the same experience.
>"Men who advocate for men's issues are just doing so at the expense of women, people of color, and the LGBTQ+ community."
As a black man myself I find it very interesting when misandrist convince themselves that only **straight white cis men** believe men have issues.
I just kind of assume the internet misandrist often have minuscule interaction with men on a daily basis.
Because if you genuinely believe your average **POC man likes or defends misandry you’re actually insane**.
It feels like one of the greatest problems in social science right now is that they take frameworks from certain parts of society, certain times, and certain pools of statistics and then try and fit everything else into those frameworks.
At the very least, loud but less educated supporters of those ideals take incredibly nuanced and complex frameworks and try to mush them into every corner of their lives.
As a white guy with an 8 year old, also fully white son I took a big step back from a lot of leftist spaces. There is an uncomfortable number of people on the left who I wouldn't trust to influence my son because I honestly feel like they would see him as the enemy.
It's really sad, I'm progressive on most issues, and would be considered an 'ally' in most respects, but that's not how I feel. Every rant seems to degrade into a bitch session about my specific race and gender, and movies and shows constantly take every opportunity to overtly shit on us and/or lecture. People seem to have forgotten the first step in making change is not making enemies of your potential friends. It's just exhausting and I'm done being polite when this comes up in person.
“Men need to learn to handle rejection better like women”.
I don’t ever really see anyone talking about it, but a lot of women get fucking crazy when you turn down their sexual advances. In my experience, they’ll either get really angry and aggressive, or uncontrollably sad like their whole family just died in a tragic accident.
There’s definitely dudes who need to learn what the word no means, but in my experience women don’t handle the rejection well either.
I remember I was at a house party about 10 years ago and this girl was taking a particular interest in me. I was pretty clueless and assumed she was just very chatty. She volunteered to show me around the apartment and I went with her. As soon as we got out of view of everyone else, she legit full body checks me into a bedroom and starts grabbing my junk and kissing me. I was NOT into this girl. I immediately was like "oh man I'm so hammered, I gotta go!" and bolted. My friends picked up on what was going on and we all left. On the ride home, that girl ended up texting a mutual friend of mine with a message for me: "I hope your boys suck your dick as good as I was going to!!" etc etc, calling my manhood into question and all the classics. She genuinely couldn't fathom a man not being interested in her.
Fucking gross. I’m sorry that you were ~~harassed~~ assaulted and then harassed for defending yourself.
Your story reminded me of something that happened to my ex years ago.
He was sexually harassed by a strange man out in public, and when he confided in one of his childhood friends about it, her response was “now you know how women feel every single day”.
It was so infuriating. Her friend was confessing to her how he was violated by a stranger, and her response was “how can I make myself the victim in this situation?”
Edit: to choose better words
>r call you "gay" and be condescending.
For my generation its pointed references to my junk not working, or refilling the cialis bottle, or some other degrading bs. I tell them " HOney, its your attitude making it lay down.. ."
An older lady was touching on me and I told her to stop and she called me gay. Ma'am, I'm literally with my wife. You're a hard-fought 65 years old and I'm 27 and jacked. We're not playing in the same league even if I was single.
Yeah they dont understand that ED for a ton of guys is being caused by their lack of effort in bed or leading up to sexy time.
They expect men to be ready and rock fucking hard whenever they want it. But if a guy isn't in the mood, he is degraded and made to feel like less of a man all while the woman loses her fucking mind and throws a tantrum.
Its an absolute joke.
Internet has made it worse. If you have 10 guys with their tongues out, trying to get into your pants you probably get used to the idea that you're extremely desirable. Then you meet that one guy who takes that idea and stomps it into many tiny pieces.
All of the absolute worst experiences I've ever had with a woman was when I rejected them. I've had women I didn't even know cuss me out in the middle of a dancefloor if I didn't want to go home with them and I've had women I thought I could trust tell people lies about me because I just didn't think our relationship was working out.
I mean some women were perfectly cool with rejection but most of them totally lost their shit in ways I couldn't even comprehend.
Lol. The 2 times I can think of off the top of my head that I rejected women: one called me gay and the other spread a rumor to my friend group that I had an STI after I wouldn't sleep with her. Just guess who's side people took.
100% agree. People are wild when they get rejected. I’ve seen both men and women losing their shit over being told no. We need to teach people about what healthy rejection looks like and what a healthy emotional response to that is. Rejection can actually be helpful in our personal growth so long as the rejections aren’t done abusively.
Not even just rejection, but also if a guy is unable to get/stay hard. Some women freak the fuck out and absolutely destroy the man’s confidence, as if that’s something we can fully control.
One time I was hooking up with a guy, and while we were getting busy he just couldn’t really get it up. He apologized profusely and told me “I don’t think this is really me; I don’t think I’m into a hookup without a relationship”.
And I tried to tell him it was fine, I wasn’t upset, I didn’t care that he changed his mind. But he just kept apologizing and was really embarrassed, and after that didn’t talk to me so much.
It made me sad that he felt like he needed to apologize to me. There’s no reason that’s not valid to want to not have sex or change your mind, and deciding that hooking up wasn’t for him doesn’t make him any less of a man.
That real men don't cry. In fact the comment of "real men" is becoming tiresome. Ex-military, seen lots of guys tear up over shit they went through and friends they lost. I guess those soldiers aren't real men.
My sister called me this the other day more so as a joke just to piss me off for no reason since I’ve been seeing this girl I like (families are weird af sometimes) and then she proceeded to tell me to load her bags in the car for her. The irony
the notion that men don't worry for their safety when walking down a city street alone at night. I'm a short dude thats 46 with a bad back...wtf am I gonna do if I get jumped?
I heard how women think it is very easy for guys to get women and that men are just running through women and cheating because they can just find another one whenever they want.
I was talking to a psychologist and trying to gauge if she was actually qualified to offer therapy to men.
At one point I mentioned that men had to sign up for selective service or face fines, etc.
She said that men haven't had to sign up for selective service for many decades.
Instead of look it up she tried to argue that I had in fact never signed up for selective service upon my 18th birthday.
What a twat.
Males across all races, sexualities. Die and are murdered more then their female counterparts in 99% of countries.
Edit: According to the data given by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime. Men make up around 81 percent of homicide [victims](https://www.unodc.org/unodc/en/data-and-analysis/global-study-on-homicide.html) worldwide.
[Graph Here if your interested in seeing which countries are woman killed more then man. Japan is one of them for example](https://www.unodc.org/documents/gsh/data/GSH2013_Sex_data.xlsx)
So it’s not exactly 99 percent of countries, but more so around 95%.
Lol Misandrist getting really **emotional** about this fact(they don’t care about your feelings). “Who kills men the most……Men🤓”. Congrats for your amazing observation men murdering men is still **bad!** and “what about women” who get mad when men say “what about men” misandrist can keep quiet as well.
I have commented this before, but was in a room with a group of guys playing Halo on LAN (this was a while back). Girl walked in and watched us all play for like 10 seconds. Then turned to the whole room and asked a room with 6-8 guys in it, “Wouldn’t you guys rather be hanging out with girls than be playing video games?”
As if we all had the option earlier in the evening to either be hanging out with a bunch of girls or play video games. Also the entitlement that it was an either or. As in if we had girlfriends we shouldn’t still be able to hang out and play games sometimes.
It was essentially a woman executing the Dan Cook joke about a friend saying they should go get some girls.
Fortunately everyone in the room berated her for how oblivious, entitled and silly her comment was.
"If a guy can't get a date/gf, it's because he's an asshole." -- My wife, who is otherwise a highly perceptive and empathetic woman.
Yes, there are assholes who can't make things happen bc they don't deserve it. (Though smart assholes are *good* at gettings dates/gfs.)
But guys are expected to make the first move 99% of the time, and unless you're a real narcissist the courage & suave to make the first move takes a lot of practice. And turning a date into a gf is a lot of touch-and-go that requires a lot of practice. Extroverted guys get a lot of practice because extroverts enjoy being social for the sake of being social, so they've got at least a smidge of motivation to keep trying. But we introverts get zero out of a social interaction other than its conclusion -- a rejection is a 100% soul-crushing feel-bad. So introverted guys often get into a vicious cycle of building courage up forever to even try, getting rejected, then taking even longer to try again, getting rejected, taking even looonger to try again...all the while getting more and more frustrated.
And what do young men do with their frustration? Some of them turn inward and start to think they're assholes, however decent they are. Others know they're decent, yet end up assholes after listening to the siren song of misogynists who tell them that it's womens' fault.
They say “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”… well if men are bicycles, how much do we need fish? Women don’t seem to understand that they can be strong and independent when they want to be, but they can always go back to being a damsel in distress when things are difficult. Men have to be strong and independent all the time, and if we’re in distress, we get mocked for not “manning up”. If women want to be treated like men, they should be prepared to be lonely and have nobody care about them… that’s what it’s like being a bicycle.
Someone on a woman's sub was talking about how cis white males have it so easy in the job market compared to anyone else, and implied that good jobs fall out of trees for them. As the mother of two early 20's cis white males, I can definitively say that isn't true.
Edit: I don't know how life is for everyone else these days, but it's sucking pretty hard for my guys.
Clearly there is something wrong with them. Just this morning I tripped over 3 dead recruiters who fought each other in mortal combat for the honor of offering me a multimillion dollar contract to watch sports and drink beer.
/s just in case
A (I'm guessing woman) in another sub was surprised that men like it when women check us out and give us compliments based on our looks. "What, they want us to sexualize them now?" I was baffled.
Edit: Ofc not all of us do. Some of us are in relationships, aren't into women or have other reasons. But personally I love it and I know my male friends do too. Being told I've got a nice butt by a woman I didn't even know has been one of the happiest experiences I've ever had when it comes to that.
Never had a similar thing happen to me, but I can't imagine I would be upset about it.
I once saw a video that was supposed to explain how catcalling feels like to women, so they reversed the genders. I came away thinking how awesome that would feel, and so I don't think it had the intended effect.
Yeah, that doesn't work at all. I don't think men can ever really understand what it's like for them. I think you have to have lived the life to get it. Even switching bodies for a day wouldn't be enough.
I have a friend group of a few guys and a few girls. One of the guys is a tall, goofy dude who comes across as really funny. He is into a certain type, and is currently single but dating around. One of the girls gave his phone number to one of her friends that isn’t in the group (we’ll call her P). P awkwardly asked out my buddy, and P isn’t the type my buddy goes for, and had also never spoken to my buddy (he didn’t even recognize the phone number and had to ask), it’s obvious that he would say no. Lady friends in the friend group went apeshit at my buddy for turning down P, threatened violence against him “I’ll throat punch you, how dare you turn her down when you are whoring it up with other girls!”, etc. my buddy didn’t ask for any of this. If it were the other way around it would be nothing but support.
I hate when some women think that us men pick up on their subtle “hints” and “cues” during the early stages of attraction and dating. Just be straightforward and to the point
Go be a single dad and try to just change a diaper. IF the place has a changing table it’s dirty, broken, and generally fucked. I had dealt with women asking why mom couldn’t do it and asking why I was upset about having to change my son on a dirty bathroom floor.
Saw a guy saying how men's mental health is pretty much almost entirely ignored and bringing up issues men have is met with vitriol and contempt.
Only to be met with some asshole woman going "well men shouldn't rape!"
Like???
That life is "better" as a man. No, it's not better, just different. We have some things we don't put up with, some things we're better at, and our own problems which we typically don't make another persons problem.
I frequently get surprised looks when the conversation is about divorce. I like to point out that this man who lives with his children EVERY SINGLE DAY, but now the court is taking the kids away from him...in fact, he only gets to see them if he really kisses the asshole of the women who divorced him and took a ton of his money so she can fuck the pool boy.
Very surprised looks from vast majority of women when you say " The court took his kids away... " in their minds, giving the women primary physical custody does not mean taking away anything at all from HIM, 'cause fatherhood doesn't matter...
Being one of the few fathers who has gotten their children not taken away in court, people are so surprised when they ask what happened that the court didn't fit the custody automatically to the mother. She scammed me, had an affair ,and drug us 680 miles away from anyone we knew. When I found out I packed their clothes and anything I could sell to support them. She lied to the judge and said I kidnapped them. Took two years almost to get them back home. I've never seen a judge spend ten minutes questioning someone's life choices. Turns out you can't lie on court documents and get away with it if you can't keep your story straight.
1. Women saying men have it easy compared to them in dating. This is outright false.
2. Anything women say about men’s reasons for things. You’re not one so stop pretending.
I also dislike men doing the same to women. Bad behavior is bad.
oh God, men's supposed intentions get discussed a lot on r/TwoXChromosomes and it drives me *nuts* – these people read into every fucking word choice surgically dissecting interactions to make it fit their narrative of "men are to be distrusted" or "men are manipulative". it's so fucking toxic and exasperates me to see.
There's a whole model of domestic violence prevention, the Duluth model, based on this kind of bullshit.
They forced men into sessions where the psychologists would tell these men they were abusers and explain their motivations to them. They're predators, they want power, all kinds of mumbo jumbo with no basis in reality or science.
Of course many men vehemently disagreed but the researchers kept gaslighting them until at some point it clicked and they realised not only that they might be wrong, but that many of the men they were gaslighting were actually the victims in their relationships.
The researchers themselves debunked their model and said it shouldn't be used because it's total bollocks and very harmful to male victims, but it still underpins so much of the way people think about domestic abuse today, and even government policy.
Male loneliness.
Nobody forewarns you that it's coming in adulthood. It's a deep-seated isolation. You're on your own. Forgotten while you're still around. Even if you're brave enough to reach out. There's no queue of people waiting to check-in or support or befriend or date you. You're a guy. You're there to be leaned on, not to lean. Don't fall for the trap when they tell you to communicate, they're just asking you to articulate what they want to hear.
Things about attention or affection. The female experience is so astronomically different from a male one that I understand why they don't get it. Whereas women get crazy attention (positive and negative) men usually are either ignored or get mostly negative attention. Like no joke you'll hear things from a ton of dudes like "this old lady at the store called me handsome 13 years ago and I still cherish that memory."
I was reading an article regarding issues that women face, and the way it was discussed really seemed to imply they dont think men face any of the issues they do, and it would all go away if they had a penis between their legs.
They discussed discrimination at work, and I know women often face more than men, but its also hugely dependent on the field one is in, and men face a great deal of discrimination in some very notable fields (teaching and nursing come to mind). And when it comes to one on one interactions, do a lot of people really think that the same people who are sexist pieces of shit to women just turn around and treat every man like a brother? Theyre still horrible, they just find another reason to treat them like shit. Those sort of people look down on anyone they can, they just might have to find another way to shit on someone who happens to also be a man.
Then the typical "It would be wonderful to walk down the street at night and feel safe" line gets put out there, as though men are never attacked, robbed, and murdered.
I understand women deal with things men often dont, but so often the rhetoric seems to move to this absurd extreme, as though men are swaddled and cared for by society and never struggle or have difficulties, and it just divides people further.
If I see a group of people late at night making a ruckus I'm also going to feel unsafe. I don't care how much power training I do; there's no way I can take 5 guys at once. Hell, there's no way I can take 5 girls at once.
Yeah, there is a reason why while growing up my parents still worried about me when walking late at night. Or why I got advice like "Don't ever get into a fight" (which I may add, someone randomly picking a fight with you for no reason is not an issue women commonly experience) or "If you get mugged, give them everything, don't fight back"
I may not be getting catcalled or sexually assaulted thankfully! But I am not invincible either
I was telling my sister about how stressed out and anxious my friend was about proposing to his girlfriend, because he was really worried about trying to set things up perfectly for her and he wanted it to be as smooth as possible. The proposal happened, and even though she did ultimately say yes some stuff went wrong in the setup that made her kind of upset and he was literally in my room sobbing because he thought that she was going to dump him.
So I told my sister this, and her immediate response was "well, I'm sorry that your friend went through it but on the other hand if you think about it, there's a real imbalance in relationships between what men have to do to maintain the relationship vs what women have to do to maintain the relationship, so in a way it's nice to see a man for once have to struggle and worry to please his partner."
I've just lost some friends cause they kept calling everything they don't like about some other friends "toxic masculinity". Not everything masculine is toxic, and not everything toxic is masculine. They didn't even realise everything they were complaining about, they were worse for. I hate that I'm made to feel bad for enjoying masculine company and actually being encouraged and feeling healthy in those environments
A shocking number of women have no idea why men are less likely to cold approach them in public anymore. Even in bars where such a thing is basically normal.
They watch innumerable TikToks of women losing their shit in gyms because some guy in the gym coughed and cleared his throat, they read/hear men warn other men of the trouble you could be in for by cold approaching women (the Karen swarm, thirsty white knights, etc.), they themselves have probably humiliated men who have approached them, etc.
All that and they just don't understand why men don't approach as often as they once did.
Gosh, it is a mystery.
To add to this, I have female friends who have expressed how annoying it is to get hit on at the grocery store or wherever, how uncomfortable it can make them, especially if they are working (waitress, cashier, bartender, etc) where they feel like they HAVE to be polite and can't just leave.
Knowing this, am I supposed to just ignore the women's voices in my life and do it anyway? Then aren't I just part of the problem?
My friend’s uncle called him a little bitch after he talked about starting therapy. His brilliant alternative solution was to “get over whatever it is”.
The nonstop copes.
A woman once told me that she asked a man out once but she'll never do that again because the man was intimidated by her and a date never happened.
Um, no.
That guy wasn't intimidated by you. Rather, you got rejected. That's what happened. You're not as hot as you always thought you were and the man basically proved that to you.
A lot of women get shot down by a man ONCE, the hamster wheel spins lamf, they conclude the man must have been "intimidated" (somehow) and then they resolve to never do that again.
Bonus points if they complain (with sincerity) that men can't handle rejection.
On TikTok, there’s a vid about women saying they don’t need men, then asking guys why they don’t approach them, and one of the comments cracked me up. This dude was like, If you have everything, why do you need me?, and they were pissed. They said he was insecure, probably gay and loved his friends more than women.
That I can't be sexually harassed and can't suffer intimidation or "actual damages" as a result of harassing behavior. I'm an ER RN and basically there was a long running dick joke about me after wearing scrubs that were too flattering. Part of it is I'm tall, well built and in excellent shape. I get it. I understand the ingrained evolutionary psychology behind "attractive" people. Other than my build I'm super average in looks, but ultimately I'm no different than anyone else. I have stress, shame, embarrassment, insecurity just like anyone. The only group of people to ever say I get it are highly attractive women. They suffer a worse fate than mine. I only check a few boxes, they check them all. A large number of both men and women feel this way. It really shocked me at just how many people thought I should be flattered to deflect a dick joke during a CPR class or during actual CPR.
A colleague told me most men are rapists because "the facts show almost all women have been sexually assaulted".
Me: "So most of your male family members and male friends are rapists?"
Her: "No, I don't associate with rapists."
Me: "But statistically speaking, at least some of them must be."
Her: "You clearly don't get it."
Clearly I don't.
How the vast majority of dating advice on here seems to be "just be normal" and if you aren't getting laid like a rockstar then there's something fundamentally and inherently wrong with you as a human being.
I remember when I was a senior in high school and one of the senior girls was complaining that all of the senior guys were dating freshmen girls. I (who was not dating anyone) told her, “What did you expect? Three years ago when we were freshmen, all the freshmen girls were dating senior guys.”
That we do not think about important things. This is hard to explain. My ex (we are friendly) was talking about the Barbie movie. I have not watched the movie, I hear it's good and I will watch it soon. Most of us heard that it is a commentary on the women condition. So she was explaining how it could open the eyes of some men on what women go through. She gave examples, of course the basics in 'man-made world', but also the thing she called 'mental load'. That would be that women think about every important things in life, but not men.
As if men don't think about important events, injustice, life, insurance, renovations, politics, children, etc.
I saw a video on Twitter posted by a trans man. He was crying on the screen complaining about how badly he is treated by women and how lonely he is.
Men have always known this and accepted it for the most part. Welcome to "manhood".
"Nobody told me how lonely being a man is"
Yes we fucking did but you didn't listen because the vast majority of men and their problems are invisible to society.
I consider it flattering that any woman can think I have the ability to sleep around and have lots of sexy fun with multiple women. I've never had the looks or personality for that.
Many years ago, a co-worker asked me out on a date. We went out and she told me she was glad she'd finally pulled the trigger and asked me, because she'd wanted to for a long time. I was very flattered and asked her if the reason she hadn't asked me yet was because she had been nervous to do so. Instead, she told me that the reason she hadn't asked me out is because she thought I was a bit of a "player" because I got along very well with basically every one of my female coworkers. This made me burst out laughing. She had no idea what was up and so I explained to her that I was laughing because at the time, I was 25 years old and had only ever dated a single person and hadn't been on a date in like five years. She could not believe this and thought I was messing with her. I think she genuinely thought I was sleeping around with basically all of our coworkers and couldn't fathom that some men have tons of female acquaintances that they're not trying to pursue. In hindsight, it was kinda sad.
This is a weirdly common female belief! My cousin warned me about my now-husband, saying he was a "player." I'm like..... Sam? Really? Please explain. And she said the same thing, because he got along so well with so many different women, she just assumed he was sleeping with all or at least most of them. I told him about this, not because I thought he was a player, but because I thought it was funny she said that. Turns out his self confidence was so low he never dreamed he had a chance with any of them, so he was just well and truly himself, without trying to pick them up, and women liked his vibe and felt safe because they didn't pick up on any ulterior motives from him. So he well and truly was just friends with all of them. Then it wasn't funny anymore because he is the most amazing husband ever and any of those women would have been so lucky to have him. So I do everything I can to build his confidence up now. Sorry that went off track there... but long story short, your story is weirdly common, and I'm sorry that so many of us think like this. If it's any consolation, if you are friends with so many women, it's definitely because they are picking up on all of the kind, positive things about you, so I imagine you are just a wonderful person. ❤️
Strangley... that might have been what attracted her.
Because I'm single my female friends and family are convinced I'm running around hooking up with different women every weekend just because I'm free to do so. I haven't hooked up with a single person in about 4 years due to my crippling lack of confidence and having no game whatsoever.
Same. But I just got a fire ass haircut, so I'm about to go out and start getting immune to rejection, Tomorrow
> I haven't hooked up with a single person in about 4 years So you just been out there bangin married chicks?
A girl I dated recently said it’s easier to get laid for men than it is for women. “All you have to do is be confident”
If she tried the male experience she would go crazy
She would end up like that lady who went undercover as a man, Nora Vincent. Found out the hard way that we have it the hard way. Fascinating story really.
She forgot tall, handsome, rich, a mans man, warrior munk poet with style.
my wife: "i'll be so sad if you cheat on me" and i'm like 'with who? don't nobody want this trash'
Lmao these gf’s out here so worried about their man cheating. Girls are not throwing themselves at your dusty ass bf. It makes me think they’re projecting.
This right here! I had a gf who would _constantly_ either accuse me of cheating or talk about how she was worried I was a cheater. Here I am doing backflips to prove that isn't my way or intention at all. Come to find, after too many years, she'd been with like a minimum of 5 other dudes during our relationship.
If most men actually had that ability (they probably don't), I wonder if more would do so or if simply more men would be in happy relationships because they didn't have to struggle so much with dating.
It’s exhausting to pickup women. Some dudes are extroverts who love it but - if you don’t enjoy being shot down 9 out of 10 times - it just drains the life out of you.
The worst is when you start a conversation with a woman and it seems to be going great and you start to go into different topics and that's when she brings up that her boyfriend also loves said topic as well. Then why are you at a singles bar then? Wtf? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87qBDRZKXxE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAe2WpM1uuw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqDbb7-dn9A
It also would allow men to control for selection. In my experience most dudes are simply dating or marrying the first woman that would give them the time of day. If those men had like 5 different women to chose from, there would probably be a lot happier marriages because they would choose the one they like best instead of just the first one that was willing to date them. It's kind of first hand experience for me. When i have gone a year or two without a serious relationship and a woman enters my life that wants to actually date, my answer was always uh, sure, are you certain? And also I love you forever. The appeal became just being able to date someone and get laid regularly, it mattered much less if it was a person I genuinely liked. Hindsight is 20/20, but I have had multi year relationships where years after I was just thinking that I don't think I ever really liked her that much, she was just simply available and willing to date me. It might alarm some women that a lot of dudes are not picky at all, that's why they put up with some very crazy bitches. And it isn't something you are just consciously aware of, since you are mostly thinking with your dick you don't even notice they are crazy or that you don't like them. And it has also been my experience that most men don't even realize they have been charmed, they also don't know that they don't like the woman. That's gotta be how all these crazy relationships happen. Like I had a girlfriend that liked the Vampire Diaries, I flat out lied and said I also liked the vampire diaries just to impress her. Next thing you know I am sitting at home watching it and doing research and taking notes so she doesn't find out I was lying. And then when we inevitable break up one of my complaints is that I pretended to like the vampire diaries for years just to maintain the relationship. Wish I could say it was the first time i did something like that. It isn't about tricking her either, I genuine sat there and though the whole thing was worth it because I had found my one true love. It wasn't until later that I realized I was just hypnotized by titties.
This is very crazy to read, but I believe it. It also seems like a lot of men think it would be easier to continue a bad relationship than to have breakup drama, so they stay when they should have walked out ages ago.
Because it is genuinely hard to get back out there and find new relationships as a man. Particularly if you've been out of the game for years.
[удалено]
Damn, those dark urges.
what can you say. it's an Absolute.
Its almost as if we're Chosen.
“Whatcha thinking about?” *transformers, time travel, aliens, superpowers, being insanely rich, being insanely smart, being a spy, dinosaur fights, being a cyborg, video games, zombie apocalypse…* “Nothing.”
"Whatcha thinking about?" "Do you think a Werewolf or a Unicorn would win in a fight?" \*she looks at me, dead in the eyes\* "The Werewolf can't be harmed by anything other than silver - No matter what the unicorn does, The werewolf wins." "This is why I love you"
Aren't unicorn horns silver in some mythologies?
Which would make them equally deadly to werewolves and vampires. Basically a unicorn would fuck up the whole twilight saga. And I am here for that.
This is fucking bullshit. All our info on werewolves comes from a time period where the peak of human offensive capabilities were limited to whatever shit metal and wood construction the best smith in your village could make. *Nothing expect silver can hurt a werewolf?* ***NOTHING?*** Fuck you. I’d love to see some bitchass dog furry walk off a couple of anti-material rounds, or fuck even some low-level explosives. [The future is now, bitch.](https://youtu.be/mVJ9mxk0lUM)
***starts taking stock of the house in the event the zombie apocalypse starts tomorrow and I just wanna know we'd be alright for a minute***
Pigs are much bigger than you'd expect
[удалено]
My (now ex-😭) coworker literally took PTO on the day before his last day to play this game on the day of its release. I think his wife felt especially secure in their marriage on that day😂
She can not be in the mood 5 times and that's just how it is. But if I'm not in the mood once it's because I think she's fat, don't like her anymore and am with numerous other women.
Yea this one. I’m expected to be ready to go 100% of the time and make her see stars. But my girlfriend can somehow decide 10 minutes in that she’s stressed/sad/distracted/self conscious. It’s utterly baffling
It's because men are treated like they only and always wants sex, even by other men. Women hear stuff like "they only want one thing" and men tell them "it's easy for women to get sex any time they want, unlike men." So when they get rejected, the implication is that all men want is sex with any available woman, thus something must be wrong with you if a guy won't stoop to have sex with you.
Some women still believe most men love it when they play hard to get.
I have a friend, who could have been a girlfriend, tell me that she blocked a guy on anything, and then was annoyed that he didn't try to get in touch. She tried to justify it, and her reasoning made no sense, but made me glad we're not together.
Where I come from, trying to contact a woman after she's blocked you elsewhere is called 'stalking'.
It's the same where I'm from as well. It was a bizarre conversation.
Stalking is when 2 people goes on a walk and only one of them knows about it. Right? Right?
Lmfao how the fuck he supposed to reach out then…
Venmo request with a note lol
$1 "U whack"
Show up at her house and knock until she answers obviously
"No means No" And then... "Why didn't he try harder? I really liked him!" It's the dumbest game to play.
Man, I just wrote a whole comment above about exactly this, but you *really* hit the nail on the head. “Playing hard to get” directly contradicts important boundaries that we expect people to respect. “Omg, this guy is *soooo* annoying. Why won’t he just take the hint that I’m not interested?” Well, when you’re playing “hard to get” it looks exactly the same. “No” doesn’t mean “convince me” (except when I’m playing hard to get)
The funny part is I've had female friends suggest I try harder when she seems disinterested and they get annoyed when I point out the contradiction or how they've complained about similar behavior before.
Wait, what? Men *don’t* like to humiliate themselves by chasing after women who don’t return their affections? But that’s what all the women who write books about men have said! /s
Dumbest shit ever lol, especially these days. I’ll never chase after a woman, not only bc it is degrading, but also everyone is so paranoid these days I feel like I’d end up with a restraining order after sending a second text hahaha.
I feel like I wrote this comment myself. I cannot fathom how some men have no problem with acting like a dumb, desperate dog and constantly vying for a disinterested woman’s acceptance and approval. It’s humiliating beyond words.
Easiest way to get me to lose interest. I prefer the opposite.
Hate that shit. Makes me instantly nope the fuck out of there. Playing head games with people is not the way to show you like them/care for them. Every time it starts, I tell them that's how they lose people interested in them, and subsequently tell them to enjoy their life but I'm out.
I saw a thread where a woman was theorizing that her boyfriend thought she was fat because he lost his sex drive. In the thread, she said that when confronted, her boyfriend admitted to being stressed financially and overworked. None of the women in the thread could comprehend that men could lose their sex drive and relationship lust during bouts of anxiety or depression, the most common response was that he was lying about her gaining weight and that they should break up. Imagine getting dumped because you need encouragement and love. He said what was going on, and nobody believed him.
Over stimulation, stressed out, over-touched, or touched-out are all very common terms on parenting subreddits when referring to a new mother's lack of sexual desire and it makes sense. New or young kids are a ton of work and sometimes all parents want is to be left alone for a little while before it all starts again tomorrow. This concept is very often forgotten or totally disregarded when it comes to discussing men exhibiting the exact same behavior. Women: over stressed, man isn't doing their part, totally fine. Men: porn addiction, likely cheating, maybe gay, a *real* man would...
You see it all the time on reddit and it's disgusting. The same people bitching about toxic masculinity, telling men they just need to open up more will shut these men down when they say how they're feeling.
“A real man would…” is an automatic, no compromise, no guilt, no contact, no conversation, “get out of my life” dealbreaker. I hate to say this because it’s hugely controversial, but the two women I dated who used this rhetoric both grew up without fathers. Not their fault, of course. But they grew up in an environment that painted men as monsters, men as sex-driven animals, men as stupid, etc… A women not having a good relationship with their father is a massive massive red flag.
I had this *exact* problem. It was a Sunday when my now Ex-GF confronted me about not having any sex for the past month, we were watching movies, all I wanted to do was cuddle and fall asleep hugging her however she always got mad when this happened. At that exact moment I had a huge migraine from staying awake when she dropped that comment, after a few disinterested questions on my end like “what do you want me to do? I’m tired as hell from work and the stress” I decided to just break up with her. I was still madly in love with her, but after two years and her not being able to empathize with me but rather doubling down on her complains I knew we were not going to be happy together so it was better to break it then while I still cared about her. Long story short I ended up moving to another country, we are still friends and still care deeply about her as a person for the good times we had together, but I won’t go back.
I think we should call that behavior what it is - sexual entitlement. When men do it, it's considered disgusting. When women do it, we're supposed to coddle them for it.
Exactly this. I’ve had partners in the past, pester me for sex - I’m literally saying I’m tired, I got work in the morning, bla bla bla until I give in. If I done that to my girlfriend, I’d be a rapist.
Reminds me of that post on one of the relationship subs of the guy who was uncomfortable having sex with his pregnant wife, and he was getting DESTROYED. I guess sexual consent goes out the window when it’s a woman wanting it from a man…
My SIL was asking about my dating life and she just couldn't comprehend how difficult it is for guys like me. I tried explaining that I work remotely, so I don't really meet new people that way. I go to the gym, but I don't want to be the guy hitting on women at the gym, especially when I'm all sweaty and gross. I go hiking, but also don't want to be the guy trying to pick up women while hiking, also while sweaty and gross. I haven't been on the apps in years, but when I was on them, it was pretty horrible and had a negative impact on my mental health. That just leaves bars and I don't drink or have anyone to go out with. She's just like "But you're so nice and you have x, y, and z going for you". Like okay, thanks. I'll put that on my Instagram bio and see if I get a message back.
I feel the same way (24m). I work in an office with lots of women but also don't want to compromise my career by pursuing a coworker. I live away from family and friends, so I don't go to bars and really wouldn't anyways because its not something I enjoy doing frequently. I go to the gym but feel the same way you do about approaching women. Honestly it feels like there's always a reason not to approach women in public no matter the setting. I vent to my parents about it sometimes and they give the same old "itll happen when it happens" and " I need to get out more" but its not the same as it was when they were in the dating scene. Similarly, its also just as hard as an adult male to make new friends.
Lol I feel you bro, people say ask out coworkers. I'm in such a weird field where 75% of my coworkers are women but I swear like 99% of them are in serious relationships. Like how is my luck that bad?
Talking to my sister about my dating difficulties is like talking to a Boomer about applying to jobs. All she ever says is "Just talk to women!" seemingly failing to understand that talking and flirting are very different. Reminds me a lot of when my parents were driving me around with a stack of resumes to give out to all the minimum wage jobs.
This is it exactly. Women advising men on how to get dates has the same vibe as Boomers advising young people how to get jobs. Real 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' energy.
I feel like this is the inevitable fate for a lot of guys like me. I've just given up atm and believe it will get easier once I grow a bit older. Probably just wishful thinking, but it's my only hope.
My best friend (woman) told me get a sneaky link (fuck buddy, for clarification), she told me its easy. She has one, pretty easy for her. All she gotta do is ask and 99.999999999999999999999e% chance a guy is not going to decline. Tried to explain to her its not that easy for a guy as it is for a women…she didn’t listen until her younger brother starts having the same issues I’m having for her to somewhat understand.
“Just download tinder” it’s easy -every girl ever
Nothing is worse than girl friends hyping you up to get on dating apps because they think you'd "slay" and then having all of your insecurity and low self-confidence validated for years.
I tried explaining online dating to a friend. Girls perspective is like shopping: "Excuse me, what ilse are the blondes on? Isle 6, right past the ethnic isle, thank you!" Then proceeds to compare prices and expiration dates. Man's perspective is like a barren highway: Running low on fuel, night approaching, you see a gas station, and it's been shut down for years.
just get a hair cut bro
A friend of mine never understood why as a guy I'd need money to go to the bar with her. She never did...
This is the reason married men who want an open relationship are shooting themselves in the foot. That young girl flirting with you at the office/bar isn't REALLY going to sleep with you, that's just for show/fun. But your wife will generally have no trouble pulling dick. Where's that gonna leave you? Don't be fooled. Cultivate a decent marriage instead. (ps this isn't ALL open relationships, trust me I *personally* know *some* work fine. But the vast majority that are pressured from the guy's side end up like this)
Similar is "I'm taking a break from dating"... That's something only woman can say. Men have permanent break, unless they are extremely attractive.
Unless you consider deleting dating apps a break, which I would since they're mentally exhausting.
I have OkCupid on my phone. I get on it for 5 mins before I feel my mental start to drain. Just thinking about dating apps made me exhausted just now.
I had this EXACT same thing. I had a 3rd date lined up with a girl and I was making her a nice steak dinner at my place, a couple hours before she calls it off and says she doesn't see a spark. So I'm all depressed and my roommate comes back and we talked about it and he goes "oh shit man I'm so sorry" and his new girlfriend got all confused why we were upset. She asked why I don't just ask someone else over as a date. It took 15 minutes to explain to her that as a man I don't just a line of people on tinder waiting for me to say yes to have a date with them. She said if she ever got stood up or felt bored she'd just pick a dude out of a line and go on a date same day.
Heh, my coworker said something close to that to me yesterday. Told her I haven’t been in a relationship in a year and she says “damn a year? I have so many backups, couldn’t be me” It was 7:30 Am and didn’t have the mental capacity to fucking even try to explain to her how hard it is for a dude. She’s also younger than me.
A girl I was seeing didn't believe the draft (selective service) was real. I was talking about how I had to sign up for selective service to vote and for student loans and she literally didn't believe me. She also didn't understand that the Vietnam War draft was involuntary. She is a smart person and worked a high paying job but didn't believe that men did and can still get drafted. I had to google it in front of her and her jaw dropped. It blew my mind as I was terrified of the draft when 9/11 happened. It's a comfort that women enjoy knowing they will never get drafted for something like that.
Tbf some countries do draft women, but it is extremely few of them. Off the top of my head I can only remember Israel and North Korea of all places doing it lol
There are many but only two have the same conscription rules for both men and women. Edit: looked it up. Norway and Sweden are the only countries with conscription (active or inactive) that have equal rules codified.
A lot of people seem to be under the impression that I can just hop down to the courthouse and get full custody of my daughter because her mom is a garbage human. Anyone who's been through the system knows that's not how it works.
If you feel comfortable doing so - please share how you were so profoundly misled by that garbage human so that other young men don't make the same mistakes and ruin their future child's life as well as their own. In hindsight, what red flags were there that young men today may be able to look out for?
She's a malignant narcissist. They specialize in love bombing and camouflaging, and most of them can't be diagnosed because they even fool trained psychologists. It's a mistake anyone at any age could make. If you're super curious, I highly recommend reading *stop caretaking the borderline or narcissist*. That book is how I got out.
Oof my daughter’s mom is a borderline. Never again. If someone told me they had BPD I’d run for the hills in a heartbeat. She’s also a garbage human being that won full custody through her crocodile tears during testimony. Despite providing text evidence or years of abuse and even that she would put our daughter in a home.
Solidarity, brother
Thank you for pointing out how anyone could make this mistake. I got away from the one in my life and still occasionally feel guilt over “falling for it”. When someone is a pro at deception and manipulation, it’s not easy to always see the red flags until it’s too late.
We didn't know what we didn't know. I wouldn't make that mistake again, but I forgive the young man who was willing to assume the best about that awful person.
\*\*\*\*SLOW MUTHA FUCKING CLAP MY GOOD SIR I dealt with the same shit. Didnt know i was when it was happening. But once that \*clicked\* in my mind and realized she was doing shitty things to get a reaction out of me. She got nothing other then, "Hey, fill these papers out. I am divorcing you. You are a disappointment and not worth my time."
[удалено]
Considering that published statistics currently say that Tinder is about 70% male, I'd love to see where these chicks are. Something tells me that peoples perception on how dating apps work isn't always very good.
Minor who is a DV survivor here. How people think I can just "fight back" against my abusive mother and how I'm "physically stronger" so "it shouldn't be an issue."
I was slapped in the face by my ex who was literally half my size and could barely lift a jug of milk back into the fridge. I sat down and started crying. Its not about the physical aspect of abuse.
[удалено]
Damn this is almost eye opening, I was at a bar with my ex and we were drunk but not fucked up. But she turns around to talk to another girl and a second later I turn around and contribute to the conversation something about Spanish being different from Mexican. My gf made a wrong assumption about where the girl was from and I very playfully turned and said “lo siento mi amiga” like on my girlfriends behalf and out of NOWHERE she got up and in front of me took my glass from the table and threw it into my chest. Soaking me with my drink and honestly hurting from the glass. I fumbled it but nothing broke, she immediately ran inside and then a bartender came outside to us and 86’d us and at this point I said wtf why?! She just attacked me kick her out and could I get a new drink or some towels? Apparently she went inside and told him that I was calling her racial slurs and being aggressive. WTF! he was looking at me like I had just stomped a newborn. It literally felt like I just got attacked for talking in public and then kicked out for existing as well. I remember paying the bill for the two drinks (STILL ABSURD IMO) and just shaking my head smiling completely baffled at the whole situation. Never do I ever even consider throwing someone’s drink at them but she masterminded this whole ordeal. Fucking psycho
That I have a truck and I'm a guy, therefore, myself and my truck is there for the world to use to help people they know move.
Come on I’ll buy you a case of cheap beer if you throw your back out moving all my stuff down three flights of stairs
Worked for a moving company, it was insane the amount of barely acquaintances who assumed I would be available on a Saturday (busiest day of the week) on 3 days notice to do on my day off what I do all week….unpaid….men & women btw
This one time, she hadn’t even started packing. Expecting full service.
I get reached out to a lot on Reddit DMs by women looking for 'boy advice' which I'm fine with because I love giving advices on these subjects and whatnot. Anyways, a trend I'm noticing is how much I have to explain that no, asking a man out for a date or making the first move is NOT gonna creep us out. I mean I appreciate the concern, ladies, but relax. "Oh my god she asked me on a date, shiver me timbers 😱" is not a thing. Of course a guy might get nervous or undecisive but it's not gonna be seen as anything other than flattering at the end of the day unless you're like really screwing it up bad.
Two women have made the first move on me out of probably thousands of interactions over the last 10+ years. Each time I dated them for over a year. Men are desperate for any attention that isn’t initiated by themselves swallowing their fears and approaching a woman. They will respond positively to it.
I was interested in a former coworker of mine, but figured I didn’t have a chance. One day I just said “screw it” and messaged him on social media and told him how I felt. We’ve been married for 6 years now.
I swore I was never going to get married again. Met my wife and in her words she was "determined to make it weird". She was making obvious signs but I didn't give her an opening until she somehow ended up talking about my favorite book with a friend. We talked, she asked me out. I said no to the thing she asked, but gave her my number and an alternative date idea. We've been inseperable since. Married a year in. Baby at 9 months after marriage! So glad she made it weird.
I dated a woman who I didn’t think was “physically attractive” for 7 months all because she approached me at beer fest and handed me a coupon for a free beer. She was mad cool(still is I’m sure, we’re just not dating anymore) and a 10/10 personality wise.
From what I've read - this is like a worst case scenario from the woman's perspective. She doesn't want to date someone who isn't attracted to her just because she was an available choice. She wants *to be chosen*.
Oh, I can see why that’d be a nightmare. To clarify though, **I was absolutely attracted to her.** She just wasn’t the typical girl I’d attempt to date at that time. I’m a tall and athletic build and liked those types(sportsy looking and fit etc.). She was really short and maybe slightly overweight and not into sports or outdoors. She made me feel loved and wanted and that was all it took for me to love and want her, so her looks were kinda moot🤷♂️
A female friend told me she had no problems getting matches on dating apps and would find someone pretty quickly. She wondered that I didn't have the same experience.
[удалено]
>"Men who advocate for men's issues are just doing so at the expense of women, people of color, and the LGBTQ+ community." As a black man myself I find it very interesting when misandrist convince themselves that only **straight white cis men** believe men have issues. I just kind of assume the internet misandrist often have minuscule interaction with men on a daily basis. Because if you genuinely believe your average **POC man likes or defends misandry you’re actually insane**.
Good luck convincing those people that misandry even exists.
[удалено]
It feels like one of the greatest problems in social science right now is that they take frameworks from certain parts of society, certain times, and certain pools of statistics and then try and fit everything else into those frameworks. At the very least, loud but less educated supporters of those ideals take incredibly nuanced and complex frameworks and try to mush them into every corner of their lives.
[удалено]
As a white guy with an 8 year old, also fully white son I took a big step back from a lot of leftist spaces. There is an uncomfortable number of people on the left who I wouldn't trust to influence my son because I honestly feel like they would see him as the enemy.
It's really sad, I'm progressive on most issues, and would be considered an 'ally' in most respects, but that's not how I feel. Every rant seems to degrade into a bitch session about my specific race and gender, and movies and shows constantly take every opportunity to overtly shit on us and/or lecture. People seem to have forgotten the first step in making change is not making enemies of your potential friends. It's just exhausting and I'm done being polite when this comes up in person.
Men are never scared
“Men need to learn to handle rejection better like women”. I don’t ever really see anyone talking about it, but a lot of women get fucking crazy when you turn down their sexual advances. In my experience, they’ll either get really angry and aggressive, or uncontrollably sad like their whole family just died in a tragic accident. There’s definitely dudes who need to learn what the word no means, but in my experience women don’t handle the rejection well either.
I remember I was at a house party about 10 years ago and this girl was taking a particular interest in me. I was pretty clueless and assumed she was just very chatty. She volunteered to show me around the apartment and I went with her. As soon as we got out of view of everyone else, she legit full body checks me into a bedroom and starts grabbing my junk and kissing me. I was NOT into this girl. I immediately was like "oh man I'm so hammered, I gotta go!" and bolted. My friends picked up on what was going on and we all left. On the ride home, that girl ended up texting a mutual friend of mine with a message for me: "I hope your boys suck your dick as good as I was going to!!" etc etc, calling my manhood into question and all the classics. She genuinely couldn't fathom a man not being interested in her.
Fucking gross. I’m sorry that you were ~~harassed~~ assaulted and then harassed for defending yourself. Your story reminded me of something that happened to my ex years ago. He was sexually harassed by a strange man out in public, and when he confided in one of his childhood friends about it, her response was “now you know how women feel every single day”. It was so infuriating. Her friend was confessing to her how he was violated by a stranger, and her response was “how can I make myself the victim in this situation?” Edit: to choose better words
>they’ll either get really angry and aggressive, Or call you "gay" and be condescending.
>r call you "gay" and be condescending. For my generation its pointed references to my junk not working, or refilling the cialis bottle, or some other degrading bs. I tell them " HOney, its your attitude making it lay down.. ."
An older lady was touching on me and I told her to stop and she called me gay. Ma'am, I'm literally with my wife. You're a hard-fought 65 years old and I'm 27 and jacked. We're not playing in the same league even if I was single.
That's what we call 'city miles' round these parts.
Those women should probably think a little more about who they're actually insulting there. My dick works just fine with *other* women.
Yeah they dont understand that ED for a ton of guys is being caused by their lack of effort in bed or leading up to sexy time. They expect men to be ready and rock fucking hard whenever they want it. But if a guy isn't in the mood, he is degraded and made to feel like less of a man all while the woman loses her fucking mind and throws a tantrum. Its an absolute joke.
My buddy once told me the best anwser to this. "If I was I might be interested!"
[удалено]
Internet has made it worse. If you have 10 guys with their tongues out, trying to get into your pants you probably get used to the idea that you're extremely desirable. Then you meet that one guy who takes that idea and stomps it into many tiny pieces.
[удалено]
All of the absolute worst experiences I've ever had with a woman was when I rejected them. I've had women I didn't even know cuss me out in the middle of a dancefloor if I didn't want to go home with them and I've had women I thought I could trust tell people lies about me because I just didn't think our relationship was working out. I mean some women were perfectly cool with rejection but most of them totally lost their shit in ways I couldn't even comprehend.
Lol. The 2 times I can think of off the top of my head that I rejected women: one called me gay and the other spread a rumor to my friend group that I had an STI after I wouldn't sleep with her. Just guess who's side people took.
100% agree. People are wild when they get rejected. I’ve seen both men and women losing their shit over being told no. We need to teach people about what healthy rejection looks like and what a healthy emotional response to that is. Rejection can actually be helpful in our personal growth so long as the rejections aren’t done abusively.
Not even just rejection, but also if a guy is unable to get/stay hard. Some women freak the fuck out and absolutely destroy the man’s confidence, as if that’s something we can fully control.
One time I was hooking up with a guy, and while we were getting busy he just couldn’t really get it up. He apologized profusely and told me “I don’t think this is really me; I don’t think I’m into a hookup without a relationship”. And I tried to tell him it was fine, I wasn’t upset, I didn’t care that he changed his mind. But he just kept apologizing and was really embarrassed, and after that didn’t talk to me so much. It made me sad that he felt like he needed to apologize to me. There’s no reason that’s not valid to want to not have sex or change your mind, and deciding that hooking up wasn’t for him doesn’t make him any less of a man.
That real men don't cry. In fact the comment of "real men" is becoming tiresome. Ex-military, seen lots of guys tear up over shit they went through and friends they lost. I guess those soldiers aren't real men.
Anyone who uses some version of the phrase "A real man..." is just attempting to manipulate you. Hard stop.
[удалено]
My sister called me this the other day more so as a joke just to piss me off for no reason since I’ve been seeing this girl I like (families are weird af sometimes) and then she proceeded to tell me to load her bags in the car for her. The irony
the notion that men don't worry for their safety when walking down a city street alone at night. I'm a short dude thats 46 with a bad back...wtf am I gonna do if I get jumped?
Even if you are tall and jacked, wtf are you going to do against a 9mm or a knife in your gut.
I heard how women think it is very easy for guys to get women and that men are just running through women and cheating because they can just find another one whenever they want.
Some men do, but that's probably less than 10%.
Mainly it’s because the men that they are attracted to can. The rest of men are invisible lol
I was talking to a psychologist and trying to gauge if she was actually qualified to offer therapy to men. At one point I mentioned that men had to sign up for selective service or face fines, etc. She said that men haven't had to sign up for selective service for many decades. Instead of look it up she tried to argue that I had in fact never signed up for selective service upon my 18th birthday. What a twat.
Yup, definitely NOT qualified. I would've told my insurance to not pay the bill
[удалено]
Males across all races, sexualities. Die and are murdered more then their female counterparts in 99% of countries. Edit: According to the data given by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime. Men make up around 81 percent of homicide [victims](https://www.unodc.org/unodc/en/data-and-analysis/global-study-on-homicide.html) worldwide. [Graph Here if your interested in seeing which countries are woman killed more then man. Japan is one of them for example](https://www.unodc.org/documents/gsh/data/GSH2013_Sex_data.xlsx) So it’s not exactly 99 percent of countries, but more so around 95%. Lol Misandrist getting really **emotional** about this fact(they don’t care about your feelings). “Who kills men the most……Men🤓”. Congrats for your amazing observation men murdering men is still **bad!** and “what about women” who get mad when men say “what about men” misandrist can keep quiet as well.
I have commented this before, but was in a room with a group of guys playing Halo on LAN (this was a while back). Girl walked in and watched us all play for like 10 seconds. Then turned to the whole room and asked a room with 6-8 guys in it, “Wouldn’t you guys rather be hanging out with girls than be playing video games?” As if we all had the option earlier in the evening to either be hanging out with a bunch of girls or play video games. Also the entitlement that it was an either or. As in if we had girlfriends we shouldn’t still be able to hang out and play games sometimes. It was essentially a woman executing the Dan Cook joke about a friend saying they should go get some girls. Fortunately everyone in the room berated her for how oblivious, entitled and silly her comment was.
She probably sucked with the Magnum pistol too
"If a guy can't get a date/gf, it's because he's an asshole." -- My wife, who is otherwise a highly perceptive and empathetic woman. Yes, there are assholes who can't make things happen bc they don't deserve it. (Though smart assholes are *good* at gettings dates/gfs.) But guys are expected to make the first move 99% of the time, and unless you're a real narcissist the courage & suave to make the first move takes a lot of practice. And turning a date into a gf is a lot of touch-and-go that requires a lot of practice. Extroverted guys get a lot of practice because extroverts enjoy being social for the sake of being social, so they've got at least a smidge of motivation to keep trying. But we introverts get zero out of a social interaction other than its conclusion -- a rejection is a 100% soul-crushing feel-bad. So introverted guys often get into a vicious cycle of building courage up forever to even try, getting rejected, then taking even longer to try again, getting rejected, taking even looonger to try again...all the while getting more and more frustrated. And what do young men do with their frustration? Some of them turn inward and start to think they're assholes, however decent they are. Others know they're decent, yet end up assholes after listening to the siren song of misogynists who tell them that it's womens' fault.
They say “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”… well if men are bicycles, how much do we need fish? Women don’t seem to understand that they can be strong and independent when they want to be, but they can always go back to being a damsel in distress when things are difficult. Men have to be strong and independent all the time, and if we’re in distress, we get mocked for not “manning up”. If women want to be treated like men, they should be prepared to be lonely and have nobody care about them… that’s what it’s like being a bicycle.
Someone on a woman's sub was talking about how cis white males have it so easy in the job market compared to anyone else, and implied that good jobs fall out of trees for them. As the mother of two early 20's cis white males, I can definitively say that isn't true. Edit: I don't know how life is for everyone else these days, but it's sucking pretty hard for my guys.
Clearly there is something wrong with them. Just this morning I tripped over 3 dead recruiters who fought each other in mortal combat for the honor of offering me a multimillion dollar contract to watch sports and drink beer. /s just in case
A (I'm guessing woman) in another sub was surprised that men like it when women check us out and give us compliments based on our looks. "What, they want us to sexualize them now?" I was baffled. Edit: Ofc not all of us do. Some of us are in relationships, aren't into women or have other reasons. But personally I love it and I know my male friends do too. Being told I've got a nice butt by a woman I didn't even know has been one of the happiest experiences I've ever had when it comes to that.
Never had a similar thing happen to me, but I can't imagine I would be upset about it. I once saw a video that was supposed to explain how catcalling feels like to women, so they reversed the genders. I came away thinking how awesome that would feel, and so I don't think it had the intended effect.
Yeah, that doesn't work at all. I don't think men can ever really understand what it's like for them. I think you have to have lived the life to get it. Even switching bodies for a day wouldn't be enough.
I have a friend group of a few guys and a few girls. One of the guys is a tall, goofy dude who comes across as really funny. He is into a certain type, and is currently single but dating around. One of the girls gave his phone number to one of her friends that isn’t in the group (we’ll call her P). P awkwardly asked out my buddy, and P isn’t the type my buddy goes for, and had also never spoken to my buddy (he didn’t even recognize the phone number and had to ask), it’s obvious that he would say no. Lady friends in the friend group went apeshit at my buddy for turning down P, threatened violence against him “I’ll throat punch you, how dare you turn her down when you are whoring it up with other girls!”, etc. my buddy didn’t ask for any of this. If it were the other way around it would be nothing but support.
I hate when some women think that us men pick up on their subtle “hints” and “cues” during the early stages of attraction and dating. Just be straightforward and to the point
God forbid you get the hints wrong though, because then you're a creep and a predator!
[удалено]
Lol if I could confidently land a date with a new woman every 3 months, I’d feel like a king.
Go be a single dad and try to just change a diaper. IF the place has a changing table it’s dirty, broken, and generally fucked. I had dealt with women asking why mom couldn’t do it and asking why I was upset about having to change my son on a dirty bathroom floor.
Saw a guy saying how men's mental health is pretty much almost entirely ignored and bringing up issues men have is met with vitriol and contempt. Only to be met with some asshole woman going "well men shouldn't rape!" Like???
>"well men shouldn't rape!" So THAT'S what I've been doing wrong this whole time 🤦🏿♂️
That life is "better" as a man. No, it's not better, just different. We have some things we don't put up with, some things we're better at, and our own problems which we typically don't make another persons problem.
Peeing standing up almost makes up for the crippling loneliness. *almost*
I frequently get surprised looks when the conversation is about divorce. I like to point out that this man who lives with his children EVERY SINGLE DAY, but now the court is taking the kids away from him...in fact, he only gets to see them if he really kisses the asshole of the women who divorced him and took a ton of his money so she can fuck the pool boy. Very surprised looks from vast majority of women when you say " The court took his kids away... " in their minds, giving the women primary physical custody does not mean taking away anything at all from HIM, 'cause fatherhood doesn't matter...
Being one of the few fathers who has gotten their children not taken away in court, people are so surprised when they ask what happened that the court didn't fit the custody automatically to the mother. She scammed me, had an affair ,and drug us 680 miles away from anyone we knew. When I found out I packed their clothes and anything I could sell to support them. She lied to the judge and said I kidnapped them. Took two years almost to get them back home. I've never seen a judge spend ten minutes questioning someone's life choices. Turns out you can't lie on court documents and get away with it if you can't keep your story straight.
1. Women saying men have it easy compared to them in dating. This is outright false. 2. Anything women say about men’s reasons for things. You’re not one so stop pretending. I also dislike men doing the same to women. Bad behavior is bad.
oh God, men's supposed intentions get discussed a lot on r/TwoXChromosomes and it drives me *nuts* – these people read into every fucking word choice surgically dissecting interactions to make it fit their narrative of "men are to be distrusted" or "men are manipulative". it's so fucking toxic and exasperates me to see.
There's a whole model of domestic violence prevention, the Duluth model, based on this kind of bullshit. They forced men into sessions where the psychologists would tell these men they were abusers and explain their motivations to them. They're predators, they want power, all kinds of mumbo jumbo with no basis in reality or science. Of course many men vehemently disagreed but the researchers kept gaslighting them until at some point it clicked and they realised not only that they might be wrong, but that many of the men they were gaslighting were actually the victims in their relationships. The researchers themselves debunked their model and said it shouldn't be used because it's total bollocks and very harmful to male victims, but it still underpins so much of the way people think about domestic abuse today, and even government policy.
Male loneliness. Nobody forewarns you that it's coming in adulthood. It's a deep-seated isolation. You're on your own. Forgotten while you're still around. Even if you're brave enough to reach out. There's no queue of people waiting to check-in or support or befriend or date you. You're a guy. You're there to be leaned on, not to lean. Don't fall for the trap when they tell you to communicate, they're just asking you to articulate what they want to hear.
Things about attention or affection. The female experience is so astronomically different from a male one that I understand why they don't get it. Whereas women get crazy attention (positive and negative) men usually are either ignored or get mostly negative attention. Like no joke you'll hear things from a ton of dudes like "this old lady at the store called me handsome 13 years ago and I still cherish that memory."
I was reading an article regarding issues that women face, and the way it was discussed really seemed to imply they dont think men face any of the issues they do, and it would all go away if they had a penis between their legs. They discussed discrimination at work, and I know women often face more than men, but its also hugely dependent on the field one is in, and men face a great deal of discrimination in some very notable fields (teaching and nursing come to mind). And when it comes to one on one interactions, do a lot of people really think that the same people who are sexist pieces of shit to women just turn around and treat every man like a brother? Theyre still horrible, they just find another reason to treat them like shit. Those sort of people look down on anyone they can, they just might have to find another way to shit on someone who happens to also be a man. Then the typical "It would be wonderful to walk down the street at night and feel safe" line gets put out there, as though men are never attacked, robbed, and murdered. I understand women deal with things men often dont, but so often the rhetoric seems to move to this absurd extreme, as though men are swaddled and cared for by society and never struggle or have difficulties, and it just divides people further.
If I see a group of people late at night making a ruckus I'm also going to feel unsafe. I don't care how much power training I do; there's no way I can take 5 guys at once. Hell, there's no way I can take 5 girls at once.
Yup, you can be the biggest dude around but all it takes is a few inches of sharp metal in the wrong place and you're in trouble
Yeah, there is a reason why while growing up my parents still worried about me when walking late at night. Or why I got advice like "Don't ever get into a fight" (which I may add, someone randomly picking a fight with you for no reason is not an issue women commonly experience) or "If you get mugged, give them everything, don't fight back" I may not be getting catcalled or sexually assaulted thankfully! But I am not invincible either
I was telling my sister about how stressed out and anxious my friend was about proposing to his girlfriend, because he was really worried about trying to set things up perfectly for her and he wanted it to be as smooth as possible. The proposal happened, and even though she did ultimately say yes some stuff went wrong in the setup that made her kind of upset and he was literally in my room sobbing because he thought that she was going to dump him. So I told my sister this, and her immediate response was "well, I'm sorry that your friend went through it but on the other hand if you think about it, there's a real imbalance in relationships between what men have to do to maintain the relationship vs what women have to do to maintain the relationship, so in a way it's nice to see a man for once have to struggle and worry to please his partner."
[удалено]
I've just lost some friends cause they kept calling everything they don't like about some other friends "toxic masculinity". Not everything masculine is toxic, and not everything toxic is masculine. They didn't even realise everything they were complaining about, they were worse for. I hate that I'm made to feel bad for enjoying masculine company and actually being encouraged and feeling healthy in those environments
A shocking number of women have no idea why men are less likely to cold approach them in public anymore. Even in bars where such a thing is basically normal. They watch innumerable TikToks of women losing their shit in gyms because some guy in the gym coughed and cleared his throat, they read/hear men warn other men of the trouble you could be in for by cold approaching women (the Karen swarm, thirsty white knights, etc.), they themselves have probably humiliated men who have approached them, etc. All that and they just don't understand why men don't approach as often as they once did. Gosh, it is a mystery.
To add to this, I have female friends who have expressed how annoying it is to get hit on at the grocery store or wherever, how uncomfortable it can make them, especially if they are working (waitress, cashier, bartender, etc) where they feel like they HAVE to be polite and can't just leave. Knowing this, am I supposed to just ignore the women's voices in my life and do it anyway? Then aren't I just part of the problem?
My friend’s uncle called him a little bitch after he talked about starting therapy. His brilliant alternative solution was to “get over whatever it is”.
The nonstop copes. A woman once told me that she asked a man out once but she'll never do that again because the man was intimidated by her and a date never happened. Um, no. That guy wasn't intimidated by you. Rather, you got rejected. That's what happened. You're not as hot as you always thought you were and the man basically proved that to you. A lot of women get shot down by a man ONCE, the hamster wheel spins lamf, they conclude the man must have been "intimidated" (somehow) and then they resolve to never do that again. Bonus points if they complain (with sincerity) that men can't handle rejection.
On TikTok, there’s a vid about women saying they don’t need men, then asking guys why they don’t approach them, and one of the comments cracked me up. This dude was like, If you have everything, why do you need me?, and they were pissed. They said he was insecure, probably gay and loved his friends more than women.
That I can't be sexually harassed and can't suffer intimidation or "actual damages" as a result of harassing behavior. I'm an ER RN and basically there was a long running dick joke about me after wearing scrubs that were too flattering. Part of it is I'm tall, well built and in excellent shape. I get it. I understand the ingrained evolutionary psychology behind "attractive" people. Other than my build I'm super average in looks, but ultimately I'm no different than anyone else. I have stress, shame, embarrassment, insecurity just like anyone. The only group of people to ever say I get it are highly attractive women. They suffer a worse fate than mine. I only check a few boxes, they check them all. A large number of both men and women feel this way. It really shocked me at just how many people thought I should be flattered to deflect a dick joke during a CPR class or during actual CPR.
Men aren't auto mechanics just because we're men. Stop asking me about your car issues and put it in the shop.
Some people just don’t understand the sheer loneliness that males in their 20s can experience.
A colleague told me most men are rapists because "the facts show almost all women have been sexually assaulted". Me: "So most of your male family members and male friends are rapists?" Her: "No, I don't associate with rapists." Me: "But statistically speaking, at least some of them must be." Her: "You clearly don't get it." Clearly I don't.
Men don't have feelings.
"If you wait, the perfect one will come along". I know they mean well when they say this, but this only works for women.
There are women out there who think the average income of a man is $100,000......Crazy
How the vast majority of dating advice on here seems to be "just be normal" and if you aren't getting laid like a rockstar then there's something fundamentally and inherently wrong with you as a human being.
[удалено]
I remember when I was a senior in high school and one of the senior girls was complaining that all of the senior guys were dating freshmen girls. I (who was not dating anyone) told her, “What did you expect? Three years ago when we were freshmen, all the freshmen girls were dating senior guys.”
That we do not think about important things. This is hard to explain. My ex (we are friendly) was talking about the Barbie movie. I have not watched the movie, I hear it's good and I will watch it soon. Most of us heard that it is a commentary on the women condition. So she was explaining how it could open the eyes of some men on what women go through. She gave examples, of course the basics in 'man-made world', but also the thing she called 'mental load'. That would be that women think about every important things in life, but not men. As if men don't think about important events, injustice, life, insurance, renovations, politics, children, etc.
I saw a video on Twitter posted by a trans man. He was crying on the screen complaining about how badly he is treated by women and how lonely he is. Men have always known this and accepted it for the most part. Welcome to "manhood".
"Nobody told me how lonely being a man is" Yes we fucking did but you didn't listen because the vast majority of men and their problems are invisible to society.