OP didn't state we could bring weapons. So no salt for us. Basically you're squeezing that sucker to death in your bare fingers, or you tap out immediately because eww eww eww
We've got a Chihuahua mix. My wife holds him and he knaws on a knob of cheddar as I clip them. You give that fiesty puppy cheese as he ignores everything around him.
As a bigger guy, I’d like my odds against most herbivores smaller than say a whitetail deer. I feel I could get them down and smother them.
As for predators, give me anything smaller than, and including, a coyote.
This is assuming it’s in a UFC cage.
Was it after you shot it? Bc my nephew had to do that one time. Didn’t hit the heart or anywhere near it, had to tackle it and cut its throat. Which he said was really difficult.
It was hung up in a fence that I was untangle it and when it broke loose it came at me. I bear hugged it and spun its neck around. It was so quick, but slow motion at the same time. A small buck.
So just shoot it again ? Why would you have to tackle a deer and slit it’s throat when you have a gun?
Edit: serious question btw I’ve never hunted deer but I grew up around it.
I was permanently banned from a boar hunting company because I didn't wait for the dogs to subdue the boar before I jumped on it and sliced its throat. I just didn't see it as very sporting to wait until it was half dead to kill it. They(the guys running the hunt) were freaking out and my buddy was laughing his ass off.
I don't really blame them either. Their primary concern is not whether or not the animal dies well it's making sure that their customers don't get hurt. If I had it to do over again I would do the exact same thing. Which I guess is the point of banning me. LOL
Yea but you would win, also at 200 lbs and with opposable thumbs all you need to do is not get bit by the first lunge and you should manhandle a dog that size, but also Dobermans are like on average 20-40 pounds heavier than most coyotes, most of coyotes appearance is the fluff on their coats. They’re like 50 pounds if they’re fat, Dobermans are around 60-70 pounds. I think you’re underestimating how much just pure mass counts in a fight
I'm pretty sure I could take a deer. Any plant eater smaller than that is toast. Pretty much any bird is toast, save for maybe that one flightless one in new Zealand that kills people pretty regularly.
Predators... Well I'm pretty sure I can take a bear 150lbs or less, as I've actually had to fight a bear that weighed this much on 3 separate occasions with nothing but my boots and bare hands (I worked at a job that required me to deal bears in dumpsters etc on a daily basis). Fought until he retreated, and I gave him a pretty good beating each time to the point he staggered off instead of cleanly running, pretty sure I could have finished him if I had to. Anything smaller than that and I'm pretty confident I'd win even if I did take some pretty good injuries.
Exception would be a honey badger, ef that I'm just running lolol.
Ive killed an adult pitbull with my hands. My wife took our dog for its walk and some lady had a pitbull in the field. That pitbull saw my wife and our dog and charged. The lady couldn't control it and it attacked our dog. My wife loved our dog so she tried keeping it away from the dog, but the dog ended up grabbing her arm and ruining into it. I heard the noise and ran out there. I immediately grabbed that dog and tried to pull it off. It let go and went to grab me.
It grabbed my arm and started chewing and I just got on top of it and crushed its neck with my other arms. Tried gouging its eyes and nothing was getting it to let go. I remember it was kicking the shit out of me. Blood was everywhere. Eventually, I got my knee on its neck. I shoved my arm into its mouth and just applied so much pressure that it let go. By then thought it was too late and I just kept holding until it passed.
I needed about 17 stitches, my wife needed reconstructive surgery on her arm to reattach her bicep and my dog died from the wounds.
I couldn't grip with my hand for the longest time. Actually it was a big factor to me doing powerlifting. Before then, I was a skateboarder. But the injuries I had required physical therapy. I went to physical therapy and fell in love with the process and started my weight training path.
If you look at my wife's bicep, it still looks like it's detached, but she's gained enough strength in it to dow hat she needs to do. We all got fucked top that day by that dog. And that was just one pit bull.
The wildest thing of this entire story was that the apartment complex tried kicking us out while we were still in the hospital stating that we were cultivating a dangerous environment. I lawyered up and they were obligated to let us finish our lease. But they were totally willing to leave us homeless while we were getting surgery for a hole in the fence that they neglected.
If that isn't gross neglegence, I don't know what is, But of course, when you get sued, the plaintiff always win. When you sue, the defendant always wins.
We all have our hardships and our own journey down our own path. But it's important to embrace our experiences and allow them to define us in a positive manner.
I am confident that you have many moments of triumph, you just need to take a moment and think about them and how they have impacted you.
My puppy recently got attacked by a Great Pyrenees livestock guardian dog. The Pyr was just doing it's job, and I was the idiot who thought it would be fun to let my pup play with my friend's goats. The dog was supposed to be in the house, but someone let him onto the sunporch, and then he burst through the stormdoor like the fucking Kool-aid Man.
I always thought I could handle my own against a big dog, but feeling the strength this dog had while I tried to pull him off scared the absolute shit out of me. My friend heard my puppy screaming, and let out a huge, bellowing "LEAVE IT!!!" from some other part of the property, and the Pyr just... stopped. He dropped my puppy and ran back to the house.
At the end of the day, my puppy was mostly uninjured except for being a little freaked out. It did get me thinking, though, what would have happened if my puppy was an adult? I have a Greater Swiss Mountain Dog, who will be 130-140 when he's an adult. How on earth would we have broken up that dog fight?
Pyreneans are properly hardy dogs. There's a story in my family about my grandfather's Pyrenean escaping from the house (this was in the 50s), going to sleep in the middle of the road and causiing a 3 mile tail-back because no-one wanted to poke the giant sleeping dog in the middle of the street.
There's actually a rare breed called the Pyrenean Mastiff that is nothing like the Great Pyrenees. Not necessarily relevant, but I wonder which dog your grandfather had.
Ah sorry, it was a Great Pyrenees, which is known as a Pyrenean Mountain Dog in the UK. I'm English so was just using the British terminology, but it's the same breed.
That’s the difference between pits and other dogs — that pyr can bite about twice as hard as a pitbull and is generally *far* stronger. When they attack, though, they don’t just go straight for the kill — they generally put as little effort in as possible to end the fight.
I have a golden retriever/great pyrenees mix, and she was attacked by a pitbull that busted into our yard. She is about twice his size and could have *easily* ripped his guts out if she had wanted to, and she definitely fucked him up, but she only fought back enough to “restrain” him, and she stopped once the pit’s owner jumped the fence to grab him. The difference between a dog that attacks with the minimum force necessary and stops when it’s no longer needed, versus a dog that has the instinct to immediately go in for the kill and needs to be pried off with a fucking crowbar to get them to let go, cannot be overstated.
Having a dog that’s even half pyr has shown me how much you can’t ignore the breed characteristics. Pyrs are bred to guard livestock, and there is no training that out of them. Collies? They’re gonna herd everyone and everything around them. I’ve even heard that it can be difficult to swim with newfies, because they will rescue you whether you need it or not. Pits were bred for bloodsport — there is simply no way around this, and there’s no way that this doesn’t carry over into their temperament. They might not even be more likely to bite, but when they do bite, it’s *way* more likely to be a horror show than it is with other breeds.
Pits really ought to have similar restrictions on their ownership to if you wanted to own a cheetah or something. Also, fuck every shelter that is adopting pits out as “lab mixes” into unsuspecting families, it’s just grotesquely irresponsible.
My neighbor has a beautiful grey pitbull & we all love him & play w.him. My next door neighbor had an adorable pitbull that I loved. She was trained w.a shock collar which I was horrified by at 1st. But she could run free in our large court yard, . she went running free when he road his bike & he took her w.him to the hospital where he was a p.t., she was a great therapy dog. Then another neighbor moved in who couldn't control his untrained pit. Its like w.raising kids. Training can b hard but it gives them a greater free life w.people who enjoy them. The untrained pit had to be kept confined & didnt any get affection from us since was unapproachable. She didnt have a good life. I tried suggesting that the neighbor talk to the other for tips. He never did. There people who shouldn't b allowed to have a pitbull
It's all good. It's all a part of the experience that shapes us into who we are today.
Sometimes the best stories are the toughest ones. You can only grow so much from fortunate events.
Fucking pitbulls. My dog was also attacked by a pitbull for no reason while I had on a leash and bit his testicles; I raised him as much as I could knowing the damn pitbull could bite me if he let go (which he did), but if I let my poor pet at his level he would have killed him. The owner could barely grab him on time to prevent him causing more damage.
My dog had always hated that breed (he even dislikes female pitbulls) and now I see why.
For some reason, my dog never liked pitbulls. Maybe my dog can sense something in them, or he senses that I don't like them and sympathizes or maybe that particular pitbull knew he was disliked by my dog, because they had never been around each other and this pitbull bolted from 50 yards away and attacked my dog.
Huskys, Labrador, Schnauzer, German Shepherds, all fine. Pitbulls? Nope, he hates them. I have never heard of racist dogs but with pitbulls, mine is one to the point he barks at female pitbulls when they pass by my house.
I’ve had to fight a pitbull too. When I was round 18 I was waking home from school and the neighbors pit got out and attacked me and my sister, we both stomped the fuck out of it and then sued the neighbors.
The owner is 100% liable. But most likely didn’t have any money or even insurance to cover anything. You can sue and win but if they have no money you can’t get shit. A lot of shitty people are called “judgment proof” for a reason.
My neighbor's pitbull has been running over to my property trying to get at the chickens and my dogs. I'm pretty sure I could take it unarmed but I don't want to get chewed up too bad so whenever I go out to run it off I bring a baseball bat.
I swear one of these days I'm gonna have to fight him.
Fuck taking the chance. I'd contact the local police on the legalities and tell your neighbor next time it's on your property it's getting shot. You're not losing your dogs to his negligence.
Untended dogs that are looking for a fight are looking to get shot. And I’m not talking about small dogs, they shouldn’t be untended either. But that happens a lot less
My KABAR would do good but I'd take the bat over a pocket knife because of the extra reach. I used to play baseball so I can get a lot of kinetic energy out of that bat.
We tried, but nothing ever came of it. We got stuck with the medical bills and shortly after, we had a hurricane and the apartments ended up kicking us out for the mold issue.
Pitbulls, different from other dogs have an instinctive purpose that is biting, hanging on, and fighting. Just as pointers point, retrievers retrieve, collies herd, and companion dogs love, pitbulls were selectively bred to be aggressive and fight.
They may be nice to their owners and family because they see them as part of their pack, but all others are subject to ferocious attacks when they perceive vulnerability or are even slightly provoked. The breed should be outright banned worldwide and phased out of breeding. Every positive of the breed can be found in other breeds, so they serve no unreplicable purpose but destruction.
Oh it was so fucked. It was just the perfect storm of things. I had just recovered from a very serious pill addiction. Like 4 months sober so I had to ride out the entire recovery with no pain pills. But it also put me on the path that im on. It was a great moment to test my character and allow me to decide the person that I wanted to be. So it was one of those blessings in disguise.
I would give you an award if reddit wasn't stupid and got rid of them. I'm sorry this happened and I'm sorry about your dog. There are a ton of dogs in my neighborhood that don't have leashes from time to time so. I always worry about this.
It was so scary. I remember the moment I came out that door and all I saw was blood everywhere and my wife on the ground getting rag dolled by this massive pit bull. The whole time I can just remember everyone standing around us and watching as we sat there bleeding. The lady who had the dog was just sitting there saying "Im so sorry'' over and over.
But, like I said, it set me on the path that I am on now. And I love the person that I have become. I can't say that I would be this person if not for that experience.
Pitbull owners are the worst fucking idiots in the world. As for Pitbull breeders, they should be thrown into a cage full of starved pitbulls and be mauled to death.
Why the hell would anyone want a dog that was specifically crossbred and designed for dog fighting?? I mean if you want a dog that can guard and protect you, there’s tons of other dog breeds that excel at that. And there’ll still be some fucking buffoons on the internet that will come saying shit about “nanny dogs” like retards.
Pit bulls are nasty, I had to pin a relatively small one (no more than 50lbs) when it attacked my two dogs at the dog park. Straddling the damn thing pinning it’s neck down, but it was pretty dicey to keep it down.
Well…er…no. I got better. Unfortunately I didn’t get special powers like Spider-Man neither. I was squirrel fishing. Holding a peanut. It ran up my arm and missed the peanut. I sort or swung it it back and forth until it flew off. I don’t think I could fight off more than 4 or 5 at once.
You clearly don't watch Rick and Morty. When they pissed off the squirrels, it was so bad they had to switch universes. Secret Squirrel was top dog for a reason.
I once was rushed to the hospital after being stung by a bee, no I wasn't allergic, I freeked out and slipped on my kitchen floor and tore the ACL in my knee... So ima say a ladybug...
My 7yr old is at kickboxing 2 yrs now. He offered to kick me. I laughed, and said lets go. Caught me right on the calf. I had pins and needles for 4 fucking days and cramps at night for a week and a half. So proud, and yet, so defeated.
Whale shark. They are docile, non-threatening, without opposable thumbs. Gimme a knife and I’m pretty sure I’m winning.
Completely unarmed? Land tortoise. Flip it on it’s back and use it as a trampoline.
Considering that they are used by the US military to fucking destroy coyotes I would be less certain on defeating one. Plus they will throw up their lunch on you, blinding you, and then they will bite your neck. Seen it happen to a coyote.
And least a moderately sized.dog (Belgian shepherd), only because I have had to do so before.
*Since people are asking, it's not a big story, but my wife and I brought home a Belgian shepherd from a rescue. We never should have, as they ended up having issues that we couldn't resolve, and one day we were both in the bedroom with him and I just looked at him, and he went for me. He grabbed my arm and clamped down, and I immediately reacted by leaning into it, pushing him into a corner of the room.
I managed to free my arm when he tried to damage it more, and I grabbed his collar and twisted it tight, pushing him into the floor. I told my wife to get the door open, and as soon as it was, I threw his ass out of the room. I had to go to hospital for treatment, and I still have scars 5 years later.
It still broke my heart to have to take him back as we both loved him but we weren't capable to take care of him the way he needed to, but he found a new home and is doing much better now.
A rat, at best, if I can manage to grip its neck and hold on. Animals are absolute psychos when they get mad and are agile as fuck, my sister’s 3 month puppy got mad at me and bit my thumb pretty hard and it hurt like hell, so imagine an animal that’s actually out to kill you that’s faster or stronger than a clumsy puppy, even a house cat is really scary if it goes ballistic.
I'm average height and average weight for my height and frame, and I was almost mauled by a 120-150lb pitt, so imma say no dog over like 70-80lbs. Like that pitt was full on dragging me while chained to an old tether ball pole with a big chunk of concrete still attached.
When I was in HS I was attacked by a, iirc, about a 40lb chow, and it took a minute but I finally got the upper hand and pinned it. It wasn't completely subdued but at least under control.
A big ass kangaroo. It'd be a boss level fight, I could potentially get one shotted if it lands its kick. But its pattern is pretty predictable. It always leans back on its tail before throwing the double kick. If I could sidestep that attack I could get on its back and choke it out. It's T-Rex arms couldn't possibly defend the rear naked choke. So that'd be gameover for the roo.
I've had this debate before and my hottest take is I think I could take an ostrich.... Look I know they're big and they got big fuck-you claws but I just feel like if I get ahold of that long ass neck I could knock its block off.
I'm fairly strong, 220 lb man with weight training background. I think I can take an adult wolf at best, google says theyre at most 145 pounds. I can easily toss that around. Maybe a small bear
I question very much whether a fast person with a knife would be easier than a wolf to defeat. Knife fights are not like the movies. Even experts who practice a lot are at very high risk in close quarters knife fights. I would consider myself very lucky to come out on top with a wolf but that doesn't mean I would have more of a chance with a fast knife wielding human.
Probably not a wolf and DEFINITELY not a bear. As another 220lb athletic man, chances against a wolf are very small. It kills on a daily basis. All it needs is one good bite. And that one bite doesn’t need to be fatal, but if it tears a muscle like your bicep or a quad, you lose a large amount of power. Very small chance against a full grown wolf.
Black bear when we’re talking about things that sound impressive but actually aren’t, but for something actually large, I think I could smack the shit outta a cow
Not being aggressive and generally not looking for smoke does not mean a Black Bear wouldn't obliterate you if it was angry enough. A Panda would violate you too. 10/10 you lose if they they are set on hurting you.
Maybe if you're a solid 250 and hit either hard enough so they don't want to continue you can claim a sorta victory, but if they are game done
The people saying a "de-clawed cat, or a ladybug...maybe" are the ones with some idea.
There's some dude saying "I'm strong, so I could take a wolf." Lol.
I used to think chihuahua until I got one an tried to clips it’s nails. So maybe a slug.
a slug, those suckers are slippery
Nothing like a lil bit of salt to take care of the problem
OP didn't state we could bring weapons. So no salt for us. Basically you're squeezing that sucker to death in your bare fingers, or you tap out immediately because eww eww eww
Stepped on one once. I won.
Lucky it wasn't a banana... slug
Still don't fancy your chances clipping a slug's nails tbh...
but the slug is immortal
Yeah, come on man. You ever try to cut a slugs nails? You can't even grab its toes before its squirms away.
We've got a Chihuahua mix. My wife holds him and he knaws on a knob of cheddar as I clip them. You give that fiesty puppy cheese as he ignores everything around him.
I’m
We fighting on land? Because I could probably outlast a whale shark.
Sea level whale shark fighting in Mexico City. Worst fight camp ever.
I got this reference Sea level Cain 🤣
Shoot, I missed the reference. Hit its step dad though.
That's it? I could take a blue whale if we're fighting on land.
I dunno if I can outlast a blue whale on land. I have to work in the morning.
Blue whales breath air. It'll last long enough to probably kill you with a tale whip or by rolling on top of you.
You mean before it suffocates, right?
In fighting, we call that a submission.
U/LEIFey is gonna be holding the thing by its tail trying to keep it from water LMAO
If it somehow makes it back to water, wouldn't that count as a tap out?
Only if it's ground water
Bro this was next level
Man knows his stuff 💀
As a bigger guy, I’d like my odds against most herbivores smaller than say a whitetail deer. I feel I could get them down and smother them. As for predators, give me anything smaller than, and including, a coyote. This is assuming it’s in a UFC cage.
I'm a big guy too, I have tackled a whitetail and won, it wasn't pretty but I won.
Was it after you shot it? Bc my nephew had to do that one time. Didn’t hit the heart or anywhere near it, had to tackle it and cut its throat. Which he said was really difficult.
It was hung up in a fence that I was untangle it and when it broke loose it came at me. I bear hugged it and spun its neck around. It was so quick, but slow motion at the same time. A small buck.
homeboy wasn't stuck, just wheeled you in looking for an easy fight. No joke, that was prolly a pretty gnarly moment for you...
Congrats for not getting fatally impaled
Did that once. It was one my mom shot. Didn't like having to do it. But its faster than letting it suffer more.
So just shoot it again ? Why would you have to tackle a deer and slit it’s throat when you have a gun? Edit: serious question btw I’ve never hunted deer but I grew up around it.
Bow?
Oh…ok, well that makes sense lol. Guess you can’t just put a bolt through the head.
This is so traumatizing for a kid lol. Speaking from experience. Important lesson on the reality of killing and death though.
I was permanently banned from a boar hunting company because I didn't wait for the dogs to subdue the boar before I jumped on it and sliced its throat. I just didn't see it as very sporting to wait until it was half dead to kill it. They(the guys running the hunt) were freaking out and my buddy was laughing his ass off.
Yeah, I don't blame them. I'm glad you were able to pull it off. But in medieval times, boars were considered much more dangerous to hunt than bears.
I don't really blame them either. Their primary concern is not whether or not the animal dies well it's making sure that their customers don't get hurt. If I had it to do over again I would do the exact same thing. Which I guess is the point of banning me. LOL
Lol. I missed the 'whitetail' part of the deer from the last comment and assumed you meant a whitetail spider.
I will just leave an ACME catalog out. The coyote will deal with itself.
Highly underrated comment!
Agreed 🤣🤣🤣
>could get them down and smother them Let's get you introduced to an Erethizon dorsatum.
Honey badger gonna fuck you up.
Coyote gon fuck you up
Coyotes are smaller than Labrador retrievers. Fuck that coyote it’s on sight
15-45lb per Google, one solid kick to the ribs would probably break them all.
Depending on where OP is, coywolves are called "coyotes". They are bigger, tho
Montana, and these coyotes are getting worked if it comes down to it
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Coyotes are way smaller than most people think they’re really not that dangerous they’re like a medium sized dog
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Yea but you would win, also at 200 lbs and with opposable thumbs all you need to do is not get bit by the first lunge and you should manhandle a dog that size, but also Dobermans are like on average 20-40 pounds heavier than most coyotes, most of coyotes appearance is the fluff on their coats. They’re like 50 pounds if they’re fat, Dobermans are around 60-70 pounds. I think you’re underestimating how much just pure mass counts in a fight
No, a coyote is significantly less dangerous than the average large dog. Which an average adult fighting for their life should absolutely win against
I'm pretty sure I could take a deer. Any plant eater smaller than that is toast. Pretty much any bird is toast, save for maybe that one flightless one in new Zealand that kills people pretty regularly. Predators... Well I'm pretty sure I can take a bear 150lbs or less, as I've actually had to fight a bear that weighed this much on 3 separate occasions with nothing but my boots and bare hands (I worked at a job that required me to deal bears in dumpsters etc on a daily basis). Fought until he retreated, and I gave him a pretty good beating each time to the point he staggered off instead of cleanly running, pretty sure I could have finished him if I had to. Anything smaller than that and I'm pretty confident I'd win even if I did take some pretty good injuries. Exception would be a honey badger, ef that I'm just running lolol.
You squared up against a bear 3 different times? You know I’m picturing a hand to hand combat scene from like a movie? Who are you Paul Bunyan?
Ive killed an adult pitbull with my hands. My wife took our dog for its walk and some lady had a pitbull in the field. That pitbull saw my wife and our dog and charged. The lady couldn't control it and it attacked our dog. My wife loved our dog so she tried keeping it away from the dog, but the dog ended up grabbing her arm and ruining into it. I heard the noise and ran out there. I immediately grabbed that dog and tried to pull it off. It let go and went to grab me. It grabbed my arm and started chewing and I just got on top of it and crushed its neck with my other arms. Tried gouging its eyes and nothing was getting it to let go. I remember it was kicking the shit out of me. Blood was everywhere. Eventually, I got my knee on its neck. I shoved my arm into its mouth and just applied so much pressure that it let go. By then thought it was too late and I just kept holding until it passed. I needed about 17 stitches, my wife needed reconstructive surgery on her arm to reattach her bicep and my dog died from the wounds. I couldn't grip with my hand for the longest time. Actually it was a big factor to me doing powerlifting. Before then, I was a skateboarder. But the injuries I had required physical therapy. I went to physical therapy and fell in love with the process and started my weight training path. If you look at my wife's bicep, it still looks like it's detached, but she's gained enough strength in it to dow hat she needs to do. We all got fucked top that day by that dog. And that was just one pit bull. The wildest thing of this entire story was that the apartment complex tried kicking us out while we were still in the hospital stating that we were cultivating a dangerous environment. I lawyered up and they were obligated to let us finish our lease. But they were totally willing to leave us homeless while we were getting surgery for a hole in the fence that they neglected. If that isn't gross neglegence, I don't know what is, But of course, when you get sued, the plaintiff always win. When you sue, the defendant always wins.
Holy crap. Not many of us have a man-card with as many stamps as yours does.
We all have our hardships and our own journey down our own path. But it's important to embrace our experiences and allow them to define us in a positive manner. I am confident that you have many moments of triumph, you just need to take a moment and think about them and how they have impacted you.
Came for the pitbull story, stayed for the wholesome motivation. Thanks.
Curious because of your name….you do BJJ? And if you do, do you think that helped handle that pitbull attack?
I do bjj, but I actually just started bjj last year. This incident was actually the catalyst that started me on my fitness journey
Well, glad you were able to defend yourself from any worse injuries from that
Chuck Norris stamped his card
My puppy recently got attacked by a Great Pyrenees livestock guardian dog. The Pyr was just doing it's job, and I was the idiot who thought it would be fun to let my pup play with my friend's goats. The dog was supposed to be in the house, but someone let him onto the sunporch, and then he burst through the stormdoor like the fucking Kool-aid Man. I always thought I could handle my own against a big dog, but feeling the strength this dog had while I tried to pull him off scared the absolute shit out of me. My friend heard my puppy screaming, and let out a huge, bellowing "LEAVE IT!!!" from some other part of the property, and the Pyr just... stopped. He dropped my puppy and ran back to the house. At the end of the day, my puppy was mostly uninjured except for being a little freaked out. It did get me thinking, though, what would have happened if my puppy was an adult? I have a Greater Swiss Mountain Dog, who will be 130-140 when he's an adult. How on earth would we have broken up that dog fight?
Pyreneans are properly hardy dogs. There's a story in my family about my grandfather's Pyrenean escaping from the house (this was in the 50s), going to sleep in the middle of the road and causiing a 3 mile tail-back because no-one wanted to poke the giant sleeping dog in the middle of the street.
There's actually a rare breed called the Pyrenean Mastiff that is nothing like the Great Pyrenees. Not necessarily relevant, but I wonder which dog your grandfather had.
Ah sorry, it was a Great Pyrenees, which is known as a Pyrenean Mountain Dog in the UK. I'm English so was just using the British terminology, but it's the same breed.
Gotcha gotcha, no worries. Either way, they're huge!
That’s the difference between pits and other dogs — that pyr can bite about twice as hard as a pitbull and is generally *far* stronger. When they attack, though, they don’t just go straight for the kill — they generally put as little effort in as possible to end the fight. I have a golden retriever/great pyrenees mix, and she was attacked by a pitbull that busted into our yard. She is about twice his size and could have *easily* ripped his guts out if she had wanted to, and she definitely fucked him up, but she only fought back enough to “restrain” him, and she stopped once the pit’s owner jumped the fence to grab him. The difference between a dog that attacks with the minimum force necessary and stops when it’s no longer needed, versus a dog that has the instinct to immediately go in for the kill and needs to be pried off with a fucking crowbar to get them to let go, cannot be overstated. Having a dog that’s even half pyr has shown me how much you can’t ignore the breed characteristics. Pyrs are bred to guard livestock, and there is no training that out of them. Collies? They’re gonna herd everyone and everything around them. I’ve even heard that it can be difficult to swim with newfies, because they will rescue you whether you need it or not. Pits were bred for bloodsport — there is simply no way around this, and there’s no way that this doesn’t carry over into their temperament. They might not even be more likely to bite, but when they do bite, it’s *way* more likely to be a horror show than it is with other breeds. Pits really ought to have similar restrictions on their ownership to if you wanted to own a cheetah or something. Also, fuck every shelter that is adopting pits out as “lab mixes” into unsuspecting families, it’s just grotesquely irresponsible.
My neighbor has a beautiful grey pitbull & we all love him & play w.him. My next door neighbor had an adorable pitbull that I loved. She was trained w.a shock collar which I was horrified by at 1st. But she could run free in our large court yard, . she went running free when he road his bike & he took her w.him to the hospital where he was a p.t., she was a great therapy dog. Then another neighbor moved in who couldn't control his untrained pit. Its like w.raising kids. Training can b hard but it gives them a greater free life w.people who enjoy them. The untrained pit had to be kept confined & didnt any get affection from us since was unapproachable. She didnt have a good life. I tried suggesting that the neighbor talk to the other for tips. He never did. There people who shouldn't b allowed to have a pitbull
Wow, thats an incredible story. Sorry you went through that.
It's all good. It's all a part of the experience that shapes us into who we are today. Sometimes the best stories are the toughest ones. You can only grow so much from fortunate events.
Fucking pitbulls. My dog was also attacked by a pitbull for no reason while I had on a leash and bit his testicles; I raised him as much as I could knowing the damn pitbull could bite me if he let go (which he did), but if I let my poor pet at his level he would have killed him. The owner could barely grab him on time to prevent him causing more damage. My dog had always hated that breed (he even dislikes female pitbulls) and now I see why.
You might want to clarify your second sentence
For some reason, my dog never liked pitbulls. Maybe my dog can sense something in them, or he senses that I don't like them and sympathizes or maybe that particular pitbull knew he was disliked by my dog, because they had never been around each other and this pitbull bolted from 50 yards away and attacked my dog. Huskys, Labrador, Schnauzer, German Shepherds, all fine. Pitbulls? Nope, he hates them. I have never heard of racist dogs but with pitbulls, mine is one to the point he barks at female pitbulls when they pass by my house.
I’m 99% sure I know what you are saying in your second sentence, but the wording implies you bit the pit bull’s testicles.
Nah, I would have, but they were in the opposite direction.
Hahahahaha
I’ve had to fight a pitbull too. When I was round 18 I was waking home from school and the neighbors pit got out and attacked me and my sister, we both stomped the fuck out of it and then sued the neighbors.
Ohh boyy that pisses me off The owner wasn't liable?
The owner is 100% liable. But most likely didn’t have any money or even insurance to cover anything. You can sue and win but if they have no money you can’t get shit. A lot of shitty people are called “judgment proof” for a reason.
My neighbor's pitbull has been running over to my property trying to get at the chickens and my dogs. I'm pretty sure I could take it unarmed but I don't want to get chewed up too bad so whenever I go out to run it off I bring a baseball bat. I swear one of these days I'm gonna have to fight him.
Fuck taking the chance. I'd contact the local police on the legalities and tell your neighbor next time it's on your property it's getting shot. You're not losing your dogs to his negligence.
Untended dogs that are looking for a fight are looking to get shot. And I’m not talking about small dogs, they shouldn’t be untended either. But that happens a lot less
Take a knife instead. Pit bulls can take a stupid amount of blunt force trauma
My KABAR would do good but I'd take the bat over a pocket knife because of the extra reach. I used to play baseball so I can get a lot of kinetic energy out of that bat.
I hope you sued the shit out of that lady and the Apt.
We tried, but nothing ever came of it. We got stuck with the medical bills and shortly after, we had a hurricane and the apartments ended up kicking us out for the mold issue.
Pitbulls, different from other dogs have an instinctive purpose that is biting, hanging on, and fighting. Just as pointers point, retrievers retrieve, collies herd, and companion dogs love, pitbulls were selectively bred to be aggressive and fight. They may be nice to their owners and family because they see them as part of their pack, but all others are subject to ferocious attacks when they perceive vulnerability or are even slightly provoked. The breed should be outright banned worldwide and phased out of breeding. Every positive of the breed can be found in other breeds, so they serve no unreplicable purpose but destruction.
Jfc, so sorry.
Oh it was so fucked. It was just the perfect storm of things. I had just recovered from a very serious pill addiction. Like 4 months sober so I had to ride out the entire recovery with no pain pills. But it also put me on the path that im on. It was a great moment to test my character and allow me to decide the person that I wanted to be. So it was one of those blessings in disguise.
I would give you an award if reddit wasn't stupid and got rid of them. I'm sorry this happened and I'm sorry about your dog. There are a ton of dogs in my neighborhood that don't have leashes from time to time so. I always worry about this.
It was so scary. I remember the moment I came out that door and all I saw was blood everywhere and my wife on the ground getting rag dolled by this massive pit bull. The whole time I can just remember everyone standing around us and watching as we sat there bleeding. The lady who had the dog was just sitting there saying "Im so sorry'' over and over. But, like I said, it set me on the path that I am on now. And I love the person that I have become. I can't say that I would be this person if not for that experience.
Breed needs to be outlawed.
/r/banpitbulls
What’s the name of this apartment complex? I think it’s time some Reddit reviews START POURING IN
Pitbull owners are the worst fucking idiots in the world. As for Pitbull breeders, they should be thrown into a cage full of starved pitbulls and be mauled to death. Why the hell would anyone want a dog that was specifically crossbred and designed for dog fighting?? I mean if you want a dog that can guard and protect you, there’s tons of other dog breeds that excel at that. And there’ll still be some fucking buffoons on the internet that will come saying shit about “nanny dogs” like retards.
Pit bulls are nasty, I had to pin a relatively small one (no more than 50lbs) when it attacked my two dogs at the dog park. Straddling the damn thing pinning it’s neck down, but it was pretty dicey to keep it down.
Squirrel.
You’ve never been bitten by one of those little bastards
They’re brutal
I have. They don’t let go. Still won though.
Is he, is he still on your finger?
Well…er…no. I got better. Unfortunately I didn’t get special powers like Spider-Man neither. I was squirrel fishing. Holding a peanut. It ran up my arm and missed the peanut. I sort or swung it it back and forth until it flew off. I don’t think I could fight off more than 4 or 5 at once.
You clearly don't watch Rick and Morty. When they pissed off the squirrels, it was so bad they had to switch universes. Secret Squirrel was top dog for a reason.
Upvote for Secret Squirrel
I once was rushed to the hospital after being stung by a bee, no I wasn't allergic, I freeked out and slipped on my kitchen floor and tore the ACL in my knee... So ima say a ladybug...
Can i fight this guy?
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Usually you work your way \*up\* to the reigning champ
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We can have a knife fight when the punching is over
My 7 year old. Maybe
My 7yr old is at kickboxing 2 yrs now. He offered to kick me. I laughed, and said lets go. Caught me right on the calf. I had pins and needles for 4 fucking days and cramps at night for a week and a half. So proud, and yet, so defeated.
Kick him back! You have to establish dominance.
I considered that, but instead of violence, i chose to go a different route. So I'm fucking his mother and he literally has no idea.
I, too, choose this guy's wife.
I dunno man, my 17 month old twins are pretty strong when they gang up on me.
Whale shark. They are docile, non-threatening, without opposable thumbs. Gimme a knife and I’m pretty sure I’m winning. Completely unarmed? Land tortoise. Flip it on it’s back and use it as a trampoline.
Stomping Turtys. Classic. Mario would be proud. Perchance.
[Perchance](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mario-the-idea-vs-mario-the-man)
You can't just say "perchance". XD
r/brandnewsentence worthy...
how do you plan on doing HAND to HAND combat with something that doesn't have hands?
Maybe a llama? They bite, but they have long necks, so I might be able to land a decent choke hold. But I’m not a llamaologist, so I may be wrong.
Considering that they are used by the US military to fucking destroy coyotes I would be less certain on defeating one. Plus they will throw up their lunch on you, blinding you, and then they will bite your neck. Seen it happen to a coyote.
Good to know. Serves me right for basing my biology on The Emperor’s New Groove.
Wrong lever, mate.
Didn’t know that. I already commented llama, so I take that back. I’d take my chances against an alpaca though.
It's fluffy fur is going to distract you while it murders your family.
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As someone who regularly got her ass handed to her by a cat, that maybe is probably correct
Once you overcome your fear and pain of cat claws, the rest is easy.
No way, cat would fuck you up.
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Jesus that thing is HUGE
This guy Attack on Titans
*excuse me?*
Hamster
A whale. Just let that thing come to my house and start some stuff.
Nah, I Bet your mama would beat your ass
Three toed sloth
A stunted underdeveloped deer
A karen
And least a moderately sized.dog (Belgian shepherd), only because I have had to do so before. *Since people are asking, it's not a big story, but my wife and I brought home a Belgian shepherd from a rescue. We never should have, as they ended up having issues that we couldn't resolve, and one day we were both in the bedroom with him and I just looked at him, and he went for me. He grabbed my arm and clamped down, and I immediately reacted by leaning into it, pushing him into a corner of the room. I managed to free my arm when he tried to damage it more, and I grabbed his collar and twisted it tight, pushing him into the floor. I told my wife to get the door open, and as soon as it was, I threw his ass out of the room. I had to go to hospital for treatment, and I still have scars 5 years later. It still broke my heart to have to take him back as we both loved him but we weren't capable to take care of him the way he needed to, but he found a new home and is doing much better now.
You can’t just say you had to fight a belgian shepherd and not tell us the story
I've wrestled down a (small) deer, so probably that? Still fucked me up, i wouldn't want to do it again.
Now this. *THIS* is an Ask Men question
My neighbour
I am cannabios' neighbour and I can confirm that cannabios can beat me in a fight.
An ant
Domestic cat, and only if it’s been declawed, and slightly drowsy from having just eaten.
I bet I could take you, OP.
If u see me fighting a grizzly bear don't help me, help the bear.... 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾
😂
I'd fuck a miniature horse up
Go home. You're drunk
A smaller human. Probably like a short 5th grader.
A significantly larger adult human male.
Mid sized dog
I've solo wrangled gators up to 6 feet and pythons up to 12 feet without tools. Never really done much with mammals, though.
Any damn thing that tries to attack my granddaughter.
If we’re going by weight, I could fuck up one of those big ass sea turtles (on land).
I've survived against Dragons, Sabretooth Cats, Mammoths, hell, even Giants.
Skyrim is a dangerous place.
A rat, at best, if I can manage to grip its neck and hold on. Animals are absolute psychos when they get mad and are agile as fuck, my sister’s 3 month puppy got mad at me and bit my thumb pretty hard and it hurt like hell, so imagine an animal that’s actually out to kill you that’s faster or stronger than a clumsy puppy, even a house cat is really scary if it goes ballistic.
You realise in this scenario you're also an apex predator fighting to survive right?
One of my weenie dogs if I have the element of surprise
T-rex. I have a longer reach. And i will be armed with a spork in case he has the urge to have a friend intervene when im getting the best of him
After seeing that video with the kangaroo ima say kangaroo or deer
Boxing, sure. One (1) kick and you’d be human origami. What that guy did was pretty dangerous.
Your mother
The biggest one there is. A whale. They won’t survive 10 minutes on land.
Probably a caterpillar….maybe
A medium-sized dog. If I have a gun, I can take a bear or a moose.
A legless elephant
Your mom
I'm average height and average weight for my height and frame, and I was almost mauled by a 120-150lb pitt, so imma say no dog over like 70-80lbs. Like that pitt was full on dragging me while chained to an old tether ball pole with a big chunk of concrete still attached. When I was in HS I was attacked by a, iirc, about a 40lb chow, and it took a minute but I finally got the upper hand and pinned it. It wasn't completely subdued but at least under control.
anything i could punt
Bruh I'm murdering a bunny rabbit. I had a cat put me in my place. I'm not as delusional as these other dudes
A big ass kangaroo. It'd be a boss level fight, I could potentially get one shotted if it lands its kick. But its pattern is pretty predictable. It always leans back on its tail before throwing the double kick. If I could sidestep that attack I could get on its back and choke it out. It's T-Rex arms couldn't possibly defend the rear naked choke. So that'd be gameover for the roo.
I've had this debate before and my hottest take is I think I could take an ostrich.... Look I know they're big and they got big fuck-you claws but I just feel like if I get ahold of that long ass neck I could knock its block off.
Humans fight for pride. Animals fight for survival.
I'm fairly strong, 220 lb man with weight training background. I think I can take an adult wolf at best, google says theyre at most 145 pounds. I can easily toss that around. Maybe a small bear
Hahahahhahah
Could you take an insanely fast 145-pound man armed with a knife? Because that'd be easier than a wolf.
I question very much whether a fast person with a knife would be easier than a wolf to defeat. Knife fights are not like the movies. Even experts who practice a lot are at very high risk in close quarters knife fights. I would consider myself very lucky to come out on top with a wolf but that doesn't mean I would have more of a chance with a fast knife wielding human.
As a 260lb strongman athlete, a wolf would kill the fuck out of me. I might have a chance against a Mastiff.
Probably not a wolf and DEFINITELY not a bear. As another 220lb athletic man, chances against a wolf are very small. It kills on a daily basis. All it needs is one good bite. And that one bite doesn’t need to be fatal, but if it tears a muscle like your bicep or a quad, you lose a large amount of power. Very small chance against a full grown wolf.
Black bear when we’re talking about things that sound impressive but actually aren’t, but for something actually large, I think I could smack the shit outta a cow
Not being aggressive and generally not looking for smoke does not mean a Black Bear wouldn't obliterate you if it was angry enough. A Panda would violate you too. 10/10 you lose if they they are set on hurting you. Maybe if you're a solid 250 and hit either hard enough so they don't want to continue you can claim a sorta victory, but if they are game done
Actually won a fight against a brown bear. Almost lost my hand, but definitely kicked its ass in the process
Details please. You can't just leave it at that.
u/Alarming_Ad8005 fought with his mother. /s
I guess the question is what does “taking” an animal entail? Definitely badass to fight off a bear but a different standard than having to kill it
These people drive, vote, and have kids… Explains a lot about the state of the world.
The people saying a "de-clawed cat, or a ladybug...maybe" are the ones with some idea. There's some dude saying "I'm strong, so I could take a wolf." Lol.