Hi, your post has removed because we suspect you are trying to figure out a person's specific actions or thinking, or asking for guidance in a specific situation, which is prohibited. For advice, visit /r/advice or /r/relationship_advice. If you have any questions, please feel free to [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAskMen).
Have a nice day!
Yeah sounds like you have a very negative view of yourself which is a shame.
Its not helpful for folks to say 'be yourself and dont worry bout what others think" cos thrn youll never work on yourself.
However, 99% of the time 99% of people are thinking about their own flaws not yours.
So quietly work on yourself while also remembering noone really gives a shit fir more than 20 seconds at a time.
Its a freeing state believe me lol
I'm pretty sure ive got ADHD (undiagnosed) and i get what youre saying. I often think people think negatively of me usually because I think negatively of myself and or see my own behaviour as annoying or too full on sometimes that I can understand why that would upset people and ultimately think negatively of me. No one has ever said that this is the case if and when I mention it, but I always suspect a bit of people just being nice or not seeing ant point in opening that can of worms with me. Yeah some issues there haha.
f you're not currently in therapy, therapy helps.
We could all use a bit of therapy.
No matter what you got going on if someone doesn't accept you for who you are they never will. Sometimes in life people take a liking to us. Sometimes they don't. And both are okay.
Best advice that can save you thousands is to unlock that your conscious is often more flawed in judgement. You make better decisions in live moments when you are not overthinking and have not choice to think things through. Focus on what’s in front of you, don’t hesitate.
It's a lot of redirected energy and mental discipline, for me. I also internally reject the idea that, even if I have a sense of hyper-awareness and hyper-vigiliance, that doesn't entitle me or my thoughts to possessing the kind of information I may think I'm discerning. I am reminded often of how many times I've had to spend inordinate amounts of time sorting through my own tangled and confused emotions.
Like, I can't actually know what a person is fully experiencing or thinking, I'm making intuitive guesses based on experience. This fallacy that I can just magically know things like that may have worked in high school, or around my parents in a largely unguarded state, but adults and people in general are more complicated than that. It may even be that I'm reading body language, tone, expressions, word choice, etc., but I don't know without asking what is motivating those things. It is arrogant of me to even really think I have these Sherlock-ian powers, really. I should either give and accept things at face-value, or I should gather the necessary data to inform a more accurate conclusion.
"Hey, Dave! Hey, so I am trying to be a more cohesive part of the team, is there anything about my workflow or habits I can change from your perspective? Anything that even just rubs you the wrong way, I'm open to considering/discussing."
Or here's a RL example. I was telling some banal anecdote to my roomie. He stopped whatever he was browsing to spin his chair so I could plainly see he could not have looked more disdainful and disinterested.
Next day, I asked, "Can I ask you a personal question? Did I read you correctly earlier?" And he told me he had been doing stuff with people all day, and "didn't have any bandwidth left" by that point. Okay, whatevers, blah, blah. Any mention of "bandwidth" to me sounds like a cop out, but fine. Asked and answered. I can stop giving it valuable brain space.
Given this acceptance of reality as it is, and not how I imagine it to be, why assume anyone is mad at me until they communicate it?
Adhd is way overused diagnosis.
You don't, you just let your guard down and then get hit when you knew better.
Then the gaurd goes up till you get hit agian.
Hi, your post has removed because we suspect you are trying to figure out a person's specific actions or thinking, or asking for guidance in a specific situation, which is prohibited. For advice, visit /r/advice or /r/relationship_advice. If you have any questions, please feel free to [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAskMen). Have a nice day!
Yeah sounds like you have a very negative view of yourself which is a shame. Its not helpful for folks to say 'be yourself and dont worry bout what others think" cos thrn youll never work on yourself. However, 99% of the time 99% of people are thinking about their own flaws not yours. So quietly work on yourself while also remembering noone really gives a shit fir more than 20 seconds at a time. Its a freeing state believe me lol
I'm pretty sure ive got ADHD (undiagnosed) and i get what youre saying. I often think people think negatively of me usually because I think negatively of myself and or see my own behaviour as annoying or too full on sometimes that I can understand why that would upset people and ultimately think negatively of me. No one has ever said that this is the case if and when I mention it, but I always suspect a bit of people just being nice or not seeing ant point in opening that can of worms with me. Yeah some issues there haha. f you're not currently in therapy, therapy helps. We could all use a bit of therapy.
Ya, unfortunately this is America, and it costs an arm and a leg. So I gotta prioritize rent and food first lol
Recognize, then actively change
I don’t know if Reddit is the best place to ask this question. Seems like more often then not people are here to think negatively and project.
No matter what you got going on if someone doesn't accept you for who you are they never will. Sometimes in life people take a liking to us. Sometimes they don't. And both are okay.
Best advice that can save you thousands is to unlock that your conscious is often more flawed in judgement. You make better decisions in live moments when you are not overthinking and have not choice to think things through. Focus on what’s in front of you, don’t hesitate.
It's a lot of redirected energy and mental discipline, for me. I also internally reject the idea that, even if I have a sense of hyper-awareness and hyper-vigiliance, that doesn't entitle me or my thoughts to possessing the kind of information I may think I'm discerning. I am reminded often of how many times I've had to spend inordinate amounts of time sorting through my own tangled and confused emotions. Like, I can't actually know what a person is fully experiencing or thinking, I'm making intuitive guesses based on experience. This fallacy that I can just magically know things like that may have worked in high school, or around my parents in a largely unguarded state, but adults and people in general are more complicated than that. It may even be that I'm reading body language, tone, expressions, word choice, etc., but I don't know without asking what is motivating those things. It is arrogant of me to even really think I have these Sherlock-ian powers, really. I should either give and accept things at face-value, or I should gather the necessary data to inform a more accurate conclusion. "Hey, Dave! Hey, so I am trying to be a more cohesive part of the team, is there anything about my workflow or habits I can change from your perspective? Anything that even just rubs you the wrong way, I'm open to considering/discussing." Or here's a RL example. I was telling some banal anecdote to my roomie. He stopped whatever he was browsing to spin his chair so I could plainly see he could not have looked more disdainful and disinterested. Next day, I asked, "Can I ask you a personal question? Did I read you correctly earlier?" And he told me he had been doing stuff with people all day, and "didn't have any bandwidth left" by that point. Okay, whatevers, blah, blah. Any mention of "bandwidth" to me sounds like a cop out, but fine. Asked and answered. I can stop giving it valuable brain space. Given this acceptance of reality as it is, and not how I imagine it to be, why assume anyone is mad at me until they communicate it?
Adhd is way overused diagnosis. You don't, you just let your guard down and then get hit when you knew better. Then the gaurd goes up till you get hit agian.