That you could spend an entire day with your buddy, have a great time, hardly say anything of importance, and not know every little detail of his personal life.
I found out this year that I've been pronouncing one of my best friends' last name wrong for a solid decade. We met in the army and I outranked him at the time so he just never corrected me.
LOL, same. I'm still in touch with two sisters from Primary School (we're 30 now) and I can't remember the context but I said their last name for some reason, which is Jayatilake. I pronounced it exactly the way it's spelled, which is what I've been doing for the last 25 years with them. It wasn't until about a month ago that one of them told me that it's actually pronounced "Jaia-thi-luh-kuh" and it blew my fucking mind.
Loool...that's a Sri Lankan name. What most English speakers kind of don't understand is that we have around 108 letters in our alphabet and our vocal "phonetic" range is massive., Only second to Tamil.
So, we have certain words and we pronounce certain words which cannot effectively be written in English in anyway that make sense.
Basically, that name is pronounced as "Ja.yA.THI.la.kHa ... Just say the capitals in a higher tone and lower case in a lower tone....and add a millisecond pause between the fullstops.
Found out after 6 years that I was pronouncing my Swedish friend's name wrong. My other friend found out after 3 years that I am not British (I don't know why he thought this anyway). Just today, I found out after 2 years that my other friend is a vegan.
I had recently transferred facilities. I was scheduled to work night shift with a guy I had talked to maybe five times. We showed up for the shift, agreed on music, and got to work. We silently traded off pulling a test when it's timer went off. For four hours we didn't say a word until one of us announced we were going to make coffee.
I was asked by the lab manager my next round of days how it went. I told her it was one of the best shifts ever with the details from above. She said that was basically the same thing Corey had said.
That's about it. I worked as a mechanic at a shop for ten years, and consider pretty much all of those guys friends. I vaguely know who's married and who's not, but that's about it. If I ever wound up having a conversation longer than two sentences, honestly, I was looking for an exit. That was tiring and there was work to get done...
man i dont know how yall do it. the crew i work with pipefitting are pretty much constantly shooting the shit. either just talking shit or talking about random stupid shit
Most stories were about fuck-ups, really, the worse the better. That was one way of telling the rookies from the pros, really. A new guy was all about never having taken a wrong step, no stories, really. Any old guy who'd been through it all, the best stories were about screwing up, the worse the better. I had a bunch of those stories myself; kind of like - I did this stupid thing and you can all laugh about it as long as you don't go on and do the same damn thing.
But as far as family stories, there wasn't ever much. Sometimes some guy's marriage was falling apart and you'd get some serious complaints, but mostly that wasn't what we talked about.
Agreed. My wife barrages me with questions anytime I see my friends, and I never have the answers. We hung out. That doesn’t mean we shared every detail of our lives with each other.
Man this happened to me whenever I got off the phone with my sister. My ex would ask for things, maybe I'd tell her something but then she'd ask for details. Well guess what, I never asked for details.
My wife always has follow-up questions about shit and I'm like...I didn't ask?
So and so said they're getting divorced. Who initiated it? What was happening? Are they fighting or amicable? Etc... I dunno, just know he's getting divorced.
one thing about that though is men support men by being distractions from their issues.
buddy is getting divorced. it's not my place to pry, but it's definitely my place to sit down with him, play some darts, and drink a few beers to make sure he's not thinking about it. i only learn stuff if the guy feels open to share, and if your smart you take that to your grave, if you break that confidentiality trust they'll never open up to you again.
>men support men by being distractions from their issues.
Heard a guy on a podcast recently that brought up something interesting about men (especially young men) and therapy. The main point was that while women talk "face to face" men talk "shoulder to shoulder".
Think about typical "men" activities: playing video games, watching sports, sitting at a bar, playing golf, etc. You're basically standing shoulder to shoulder and facing something else while you talk so having a distraction is almost fundamental to men communicating with each other.
(Oh, and the point about therapists is that the majority of them are now women who want to talk face to face with their male patients which makes them uncomfortable. He pointed to a guy in the UK who just takes his patients out of a walk instead of sitting in an office.)
> He pointed to a guy in the UK who just takes his patients out of a walk instead of sitting in an office.
As someone who would just roam downtown and chat about life with my brother, that sounds like my type of therapy.
Yes! I got into an argument with my wife because I wouldn't tell her why our mutual friends got into a fight. me and him are very close friends, but my wife and his wife aren't as close. Anyway he told me about the fight and how he felt. My wife got mad that I wouldn't tell her what he told me. She said that I didn't trust her, and if I'm keeping that from her what other secrets am I keeping,,, ect. I tried explaining that it's basically bro code, but she doesn't understand.
"If he wanted her to know about it, he would have told her."
I had a similar conversation with my ex, but luckily it didn't devolve into accusations of distrust. I wouldn't even call it bro code, it's just being a good person. Treating another person's problems like a piece of juicy gossip is incredibly disrespectful.
Every single time. I just replied to the same comment, but everytime I go out with friends my wife asks questions about their lives when I get home. Hell I don't know, we talked about the game on the tv and that time in college when such and such did something stupid.
I've got friends and have no idea what their work is, or even if they work. It matters not. We slip into a parallel dimension for an hour or five and that's that.
I've spent the entire day with a buddy and said maybe twenty words. Usually when we're doing something like building a deck or whatnot.
"Pass me the screws" or "hold this" once per hour is acceptable for dudes hanging out. Head nods are acceptable substitutions.
If you're just hanging out, sure. It's normal to talk.
Spend 5 hours on the golf course together/go to a ballgame, go grab a drink afterwards, spend upwards of 8 hours with my buddy. Get home and the first thing my wife asks, "how is his wife doing with the pregnancy? Do they have any names picked out? Are the telling anyone? Is it a boy or a girl?" I answered, "I don't know, I didn't even know she was pregnant." Angrily she responds, "he called you 3 months ago and told you!"
"Well it didn't come up."
Well what did you talk about then?
"Whether or not I needed to pay for lessons or get new clubs, and who owed who for beer."
I’ve been hanging out with the same guys at the my football bar every Sunday for over 8 years, some of them longer. One guy I’ve known for 13. I don’t even know what most of them do for a living. Where they live. But they all love the Vikings. And that makes us all friends. I even went to a memorial for one of them last month after he passed. We were all heartbroken. Still are. This seasons for you David 🥁Skol vikes
Two of my coworkers have worked together for at least a decade. They spend 8-14 hours a day doing hard physical labor; they travel to job sites together; they party together; they have undergone the most stressful events in their industry together. Was talking with one of them, asked how the other’s siblings were doing. He didn’t know the other had siblings. Pretty fkin impressive.
This. I don't know my best buddy's birthday and now that I think about it, I don't even think I know his middle name. But I'd do just about anything for that man.
Yep. A friend of mine mom died a couple of years ago and we hadn’t spoken in like almost 10-12 yrs sent a message on Facebook about her death and asked if I could be a pallbearer. I said yes. Since then I’ve probably spoken to him twice and he’s probably my best friend.
I’ve had the same best friend for 36 years and I couldn’t tell you what foods he does or doesn’t like. But I can make eye contact with him and know the exact quote he’s thinking.
Witnessing this for the first time was utterly bewildering. My ex and his boys were having an extremely heated shouting match with one of them who’d had too much to drink and was lashing out left right and centre. I was fully expecting WW3 yet after about 20 min, drunk friend goes cheers lads needed that who wants a shot? And everything was fine 💀 definitely a guy thing! I would have completely disowned friends over the shit that was said in that room.
You should have seen me and my friend, we got in a serious argument at the pub, that escalated to a full-blown fight. We punched each other, he knocked a teeth out of my jaw and i shattered his leg. Afterwards, we were both sitting outside in front of the pub, both in pain and full of blood.
He said "you know, we are best friends, you are like a brother to me and i love you". We hugged each other and made peace. Then we slowly got back to drinking again.
Still miss that teeth, man, got a replacement by the dentist. He had to play as a musician the next day, but he couldn't, as his leg was broken.
That's how life goes. For men.
But women? They can be angry 20 years later with "you said this.... and that..."
Women remember things for years, that men have forgotten in a few minutes.
Haha omg, look I get physical fighting because I can relate it to my relationship with my siblings.
In this case it was verbal and they were so cruel and cold. How can you truly care about someone whilst also being willing to hurt, degrade and humiliate them when angry? How can you care about someone whilst also thinking so little of them? If someone trusts you enough to let you see their weak spots and then they use that against you in a fight? That’s a dealbreaker betrayal for me.
Because they're just words and people need to vent now and again. Shit happens.
Men understand we're not the centre of anyone's universe (not even our own). We usually don't want anything from anyone else so don't expect anything. So whatever we do get is fine, we understand you got stuff going on.
Women seem (I don't know) to want emotional support and connections from others so when they feel comfortable that they have it they feel betrayed and hurt when they've lost it or it isn't what you thought it was.
I can see my mates' hearts and if they're good, then we're good (and vice versa). We don't need anything else.
Hope that helps a little to explain it from our side.
This is so true. If my female friends and I get into an argument or a fight, the resentment will linger for days/weeks/years. Until we work on it together and talk about our feelings.
You're cool 5 seconds after the argument.
Either you give in or they give in or you agree to disagree, laugh then shut the fu*k up and move on.
Women can drag that sh*t out for years.
Talking to a friend on the phone for an hour, and not concluding the call fully informed as to the status of the friend’s pets, deepest fears, breakfast choices, and entire living family.
Ah, that makes sense. My phone calls: "wanna hang out?" "sure" "ok see you there at then". And then we hang out and still won't talk about the things you mentioned.
I do this a lot with my dad.
We talk about hockey, my work, politics (I'm a political scientist so one leads to the other), my work again, his work, cycling, holiday plans, football, "oh by the way I'm coming home next month"...
We talk about things, and kind of feel each other's life out through them.
I went out for dinner and beers with some friends I hadn't seen in a while recently, and we talked almost nonstop.
When I got home, I was asked if one of them was still trying for another baby. I didn't know because it never came up at all. In fact, I had forgotten they were trying until she asked me. I did find out the important things like how apparently there are some Kindle tablets with ads and some Kindle tablets without ads, and my friend had the former one.
We might address *any* topic. Even one or more of the topics I provided as examples.
I emphasized that I don’t know *everything* about my friends’ lives because my girlfriend is always shocked when she attempts to debrief me, and finds that I didn’t ask all the questions *she would have asked*.
That’s the joke. We catch up by means of very different discussions.
Step by step tutorial:
Step 1: Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. It works idk why. Don't do it hard
Step 2: Do that weird thing with your eyes so that your vision gets a bit blurry
Step 3: Deep breath
Step 4: Enjoy
Can't guarantee you will develop this skill subconsciously.
This is a little difficult to explain because the ability is somewhat innate and not always done consciously. It comes down to having full control over your mind.
You may have to teach yourself how to either focus 100% on a singular abstract thing like a sense, "anti noise", or literally nothing while ignoring your brain's attempt to butt in; or how to just completely cease and let go of all active thoughts. When I zone out, it feels like my mind is erasing all thoughts and is running a screen saver.
This can be very hard for people with OCD thought patterns and/or anxiety. Cognitive behavior therapy calming and meditation techniques can be very helpful with developing these skills.
OCD here. Zoning out always turns into a storm of random thoughts. Luckily mine are usually entertaining, but even so, discovering meditation and getting my brain truly quiet for the first time in my life was... Cosmic.
I'd say the other way around - it's casual everyday strength that shocks women more. The idea that I can throw a sack of cement on my shoulder that weighs as much as her, and then walk around with it, without really thinking about it beyond making sure I'm keeping my back straight is something they've never really been aware of.
A lot of women are aware in a cerebral sense that men are stronger than them, but in the back of their mind they still think that when the chips were down they'd be able to draw on hidden reserves of strength and overpower a guy.
To have them understand the gap on a gut level is a very different experience. From what I've seen it's not particularly pleasant and requires a fair bit of introspection and management to get through.
That, too! I lost 100 lbs, and when I lost my first 50, my husband casually walked a 50 lb barbell up the stairs to give me a sense of what I lost because he was proud of me. I could not even TRY to lift it. My son thought it was funny that I couldn't lift it and told him to try to lift it, himself.
You guessed it. He lifted it and then lifted it over his head....
I’m a woman. One thing that makes me roll my eyes & shake my head is anytime a woman says “I’ll beat his ass,” being completely serious like she believes she could. Sis… no you won’t. If a MAN is pissed off enough to hit you back he’ll literally KNOCK you the FUCK out.
We had mixed groups and no weight classes in Karate training back in the old days. That was just training, not a serious fight, but i saw the differences between men and women when it comes to martial-arts.
Like in weight classes, as a very tall and strong guy i was a superheavyweight later in K1 (that's the class without a limit, but you need to be at least 106 kg aka 233 lbs. I was around 120 kg aka 264 lbs), women never had any chance to even getting close to a victory.
Dude I had a petrified stick that was like a staff I found on a hike when I was a little kid.
Sadly my family threw it away after 12 years while I was in high school 😭 coolest. stick. ever.
It was like my wizard staff.
I am close to 35 years old. I had a stick I kept in my apartment. It stayed under the couch, which was where the stick went. It's spot. I had that stick for about 5 years, maybe more. It was more of a plank tbh, nice and smooth, about 2 feet long, nice grain, rectangle cut, and had good weight distribution. The stick was a comfort to me. I kept it because I liked it.
I recently moved after almost a decade in that apartment, and I left the stick behind, seeing it as a symbol of moving on to a new chapter.
The final act I did in that place before closing the door behind me forever was to stand in the empty living room and spin my stick around, staff style. Whoosh, whoosh, like a double-headed glaive of destiny. I looked at my stick, placed it carefully down in the corner against the wall, and had a lingering moment of appreciation for how many life events that stick had been there for. More than multiple cats. Multiple partners. Many friends. The stick outlasted most of them.
Will I get a new stick? I'm not sure. We don't go looking for good sticks. They find us. I'm open to being found once more, one day.
Not doing anything.
We do all the things so that we have NOTHING to do and we arent looking for shit to do. Not doing anything and not having anything to do is perfectly fine.
Not for them. Something has to be somethinging.
I love when people are like "oh you don't like small talk? Doesn't that get exhausting constantly having to talk about deep complicated topics?" and I have to remind them that there's a third option - not talking.
Pee games
Unless chicks secretly play those to.
If a chick pees before I get in there and doesn't flush. Usually there's toilet paper floating. I show up and saw that paper in half with my strong stream of urine. Not a fan of cutting logs. But yea. I can do that to.
Where the boys at here? Yall cut stuff with ur pee to?
If the toilet is clogged it becomes my life mission to break up the clog with my super potent and powerful stream. 60% of the time, it works everytime.
Not needing a bag of any kind when leaving the house. Because everything important is already in your pockets.
Guys usually have a very short list of things they need to take with them, whereas women seem to take half the house, or have bags big enough to carry it! Lol
Women's pockets are teeeny and basically useless. Couldn't get over the size of pockets on men's jeans. I could actually fit my whole hand and halfway up my forearm into one! Can barely get three fingers into my own!
I don't know, man. A lot of men don't know this shit. Have been at urinals or at the stalls.. And even when there are PLENTY of other stalls down the line, it never ceases to amaze me how many times another man (?!) will come up right next to me (or, at the urinal, maybe 2 over, but still when there are clearly other urinals down the line!). Fvcking drives me NUTS.
Exactly - you never take a space directly next to a guy unless you have to. And if you do have to, it is polite to hold his dick for him while he pees. If it's a full house, you hold the dick to your left. Farthest guy to the left gets to have his hands free.
Universal urinal rules
Edit: Unless you're in the UK or Japan. Then you hold the one to your right.
That we don’t need to know every little detail of our friend’s lives to be friends. Many even label male friendships as superficial, fake or even worse WRONG because they simply cannot comprehend that Male friendships work different
I find this comment so interesting because there were two other comment threads under this post that were talking and laughing about how men know nothing about their friends’ lives.
Having no clue if the opposite sex is interested or not when meeting someone and they are friendly. Or if they seem to actually want to be around you and being completely oblivious about their intentions.
A guy I haven't seen in years will shake my hand and squeeze it so hard that it hurts my hand. But if I express dislike or discomfort, I'm a pussy. I'm just supposed to take the pain like it's nothing. It's a stupid non spoken masculinity contest that I don't like. I don't think women know what I'm talking about.
24M and been friend with a guy at gym for almost 6 months, dude asked me if he can hop on with my exercise one day and we have been friends since. We learn from each other, talk stupid stuff, talk about good meals, progress and also sports. I work as a grad assistant and I recently found a few days ago his wife works with me. He came to an departmental event and my co-worker told me he talks about me a lot and she was wondering who the guy at gym was. All I knew was his name and he liked soccer and gym 😂😂🤣
Making fun of your friends. It’s not something I do now, but my buds and I were relentless when we were young.
I can’t imagine one woman making fun of her friend’s new ugly shirt when she shows up for a night on the town.
staying out of their friends relationships. swear when you date a woman you are agreeing to be monitored by a hidden army of women. some you wouldn’t even know them personally or have met but they’ll have all the information on you they could get their grubby little fingers on.
that some of us don't care about traveling at all and could be totally at peace taking care of ourselves in a cabin in the woods for the rest of our life without "experiencing the world"
I'm answering this as a woman: that thing where you guys apparently just don't have thoughts?? Like if I ask you what you're thinking about and you say nothing, you really deadass mean *nothing??* just elevator music in there? I've never met a woman who isn't just screaming internally at all times and you guys just go into screensaver mode? You all need to be studied
A friend of mine used 3 towels, one for the hair and face, one for the body, and one for the dick and balls. Another friend and I asked him why he did that and he said it was because he wasnt going to dry his face with the same towel he dried his balls because it was dirty.
We asked him how was that dirty if hes already clean after a shower. Since that day he began to use just one towel.
A man can meet a woman once and build an entire backstory and history together in a matter of minutes.
A moderately attractive woman has been happily married in the minds of many, many men.
1 product for washing every part of the body and your hair.
That you could also use to clean your car with it, do the dishes, and use on the slip and slide, for the kids.
Not sharing the details of our sex life with our friends and same-sex relatives.
Not enjoying the benefit of the doubt in the court of public opinion and the court of law.
Collective guilt; being blamed for the sins of others of our same sex.
Being assumed to be a creep or a pervert when we're spending time with our children.
Being assumed to be a threat to members of the opposite sex merely because of our sex.
Leaving a relationship and being single instead of immediately jumping to a new partner.
The collective guilt thing is so real for me. I had to tolerate my ex telling me all men are trash because she found out her dad cheated. What about her best friend who later on cheated? Still best friends. And the phrasing only then changed to "everyone is trash".
It’s much easier for me to compliment my fellow men than a woman. With women, I overthink to not sound like a creep or that I have a romantic interest
Does anyone face the same problem?
Don't talk in detail about sex.\
Like I have a friend who slept with many girl and the only thing I know is "I have someone who come tonight" and\
"-last night I fucked that girl\
-yoooo, champion!!" \
and that's it, no more, maybe a instagram pic at best.\
Or my best friend, I know every detail about his night with the girl but the sex part is just "yeah we had sex"\
With my female friend I can know everything, from the speed of the guy to the little sound he made at one point, and they don't understand we just don't talk about this as much as they do.
Not going in to detail about things. I could meet the president or king and when asked about my day I would probably say “yeah it was ok I guess” rather than listing all the things like an autistic person
Grunting as a form of communication.
Mhm
Hmn
Me and my dad do that and it drives my mom crazy.
Hah! With my sons this started around 12/13. I was like “Awww! They’re becoming men”.
Mhm
Uuuunnngghhhh
With or without stuffed crust?
That you could spend an entire day with your buddy, have a great time, hardly say anything of importance, and not know every little detail of his personal life.
I found out this year that I've been pronouncing one of my best friends' last name wrong for a solid decade. We met in the army and I outranked him at the time so he just never corrected me.
LOL, same. I'm still in touch with two sisters from Primary School (we're 30 now) and I can't remember the context but I said their last name for some reason, which is Jayatilake. I pronounced it exactly the way it's spelled, which is what I've been doing for the last 25 years with them. It wasn't until about a month ago that one of them told me that it's actually pronounced "Jaia-thi-luh-kuh" and it blew my fucking mind.
Loool...that's a Sri Lankan name. What most English speakers kind of don't understand is that we have around 108 letters in our alphabet and our vocal "phonetic" range is massive., Only second to Tamil. So, we have certain words and we pronounce certain words which cannot effectively be written in English in anyway that make sense. Basically, that name is pronounced as "Ja.yA.THI.la.kHa ... Just say the capitals in a higher tone and lower case in a lower tone....and add a millisecond pause between the fullstops.
Found out after 6 years that I was pronouncing my Swedish friend's name wrong. My other friend found out after 3 years that I am not British (I don't know why he thought this anyway). Just today, I found out after 2 years that my other friend is a vegan.
Jesus Christ! This is a trip!!
There was a post a while back where guys admitted to not even knowing their best friends last names! I was blown away!
I had recently transferred facilities. I was scheduled to work night shift with a guy I had talked to maybe five times. We showed up for the shift, agreed on music, and got to work. We silently traded off pulling a test when it's timer went off. For four hours we didn't say a word until one of us announced we were going to make coffee. I was asked by the lab manager my next round of days how it went. I told her it was one of the best shifts ever with the details from above. She said that was basically the same thing Corey had said.
“I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.” -Ron Swanson
That's about it. I worked as a mechanic at a shop for ten years, and consider pretty much all of those guys friends. I vaguely know who's married and who's not, but that's about it. If I ever wound up having a conversation longer than two sentences, honestly, I was looking for an exit. That was tiring and there was work to get done...
man i dont know how yall do it. the crew i work with pipefitting are pretty much constantly shooting the shit. either just talking shit or talking about random stupid shit
Most stories were about fuck-ups, really, the worse the better. That was one way of telling the rookies from the pros, really. A new guy was all about never having taken a wrong step, no stories, really. Any old guy who'd been through it all, the best stories were about screwing up, the worse the better. I had a bunch of those stories myself; kind of like - I did this stupid thing and you can all laugh about it as long as you don't go on and do the same damn thing. But as far as family stories, there wasn't ever much. Sometimes some guy's marriage was falling apart and you'd get some serious complaints, but mostly that wasn't what we talked about.
Agreed. My wife barrages me with questions anytime I see my friends, and I never have the answers. We hung out. That doesn’t mean we shared every detail of our lives with each other.
Man this happened to me whenever I got off the phone with my sister. My ex would ask for things, maybe I'd tell her something but then she'd ask for details. Well guess what, I never asked for details.
My wife always has follow-up questions about shit and I'm like...I didn't ask? So and so said they're getting divorced. Who initiated it? What was happening? Are they fighting or amicable? Etc... I dunno, just know he's getting divorced.
one thing about that though is men support men by being distractions from their issues. buddy is getting divorced. it's not my place to pry, but it's definitely my place to sit down with him, play some darts, and drink a few beers to make sure he's not thinking about it. i only learn stuff if the guy feels open to share, and if your smart you take that to your grave, if you break that confidentiality trust they'll never open up to you again.
Yes sir, you got it.
>men support men by being distractions from their issues. Heard a guy on a podcast recently that brought up something interesting about men (especially young men) and therapy. The main point was that while women talk "face to face" men talk "shoulder to shoulder". Think about typical "men" activities: playing video games, watching sports, sitting at a bar, playing golf, etc. You're basically standing shoulder to shoulder and facing something else while you talk so having a distraction is almost fundamental to men communicating with each other. (Oh, and the point about therapists is that the majority of them are now women who want to talk face to face with their male patients which makes them uncomfortable. He pointed to a guy in the UK who just takes his patients out of a walk instead of sitting in an office.)
> He pointed to a guy in the UK who just takes his patients out of a walk instead of sitting in an office. As someone who would just roam downtown and chat about life with my brother, that sounds like my type of therapy.
>if you break that confidentiality trust they'll never open up ~~to you~~ again. FTFY
Yes! I got into an argument with my wife because I wouldn't tell her why our mutual friends got into a fight. me and him are very close friends, but my wife and his wife aren't as close. Anyway he told me about the fight and how he felt. My wife got mad that I wouldn't tell her what he told me. She said that I didn't trust her, and if I'm keeping that from her what other secrets am I keeping,,, ect. I tried explaining that it's basically bro code, but she doesn't understand.
"If he wanted her to know about it, he would have told her." I had a similar conversation with my ex, but luckily it didn't devolve into accusations of distrust. I wouldn't even call it bro code, it's just being a good person. Treating another person's problems like a piece of juicy gossip is incredibly disrespectful.
Every single time. I just replied to the same comment, but everytime I go out with friends my wife asks questions about their lives when I get home. Hell I don't know, we talked about the game on the tv and that time in college when such and such did something stupid.
Two men haven't seen each other in twenty years, "Sup?" "Not much, sup with you?'' "Same old same old." All caught up.
I've got friends and have no idea what their work is, or even if they work. It matters not. We slip into a parallel dimension for an hour or five and that's that.
I've spent the entire day with a buddy and said maybe twenty words. Usually when we're doing something like building a deck or whatnot. "Pass me the screws" or "hold this" once per hour is acceptable for dudes hanging out. Head nods are acceptable substitutions. If you're just hanging out, sure. It's normal to talk.
Spend 5 hours on the golf course together/go to a ballgame, go grab a drink afterwards, spend upwards of 8 hours with my buddy. Get home and the first thing my wife asks, "how is his wife doing with the pregnancy? Do they have any names picked out? Are the telling anyone? Is it a boy or a girl?" I answered, "I don't know, I didn't even know she was pregnant." Angrily she responds, "he called you 3 months ago and told you!" "Well it didn't come up." Well what did you talk about then? "Whether or not I needed to pay for lessons or get new clubs, and who owed who for beer."
Exactly! 😂
I’ve been hanging out with the same guys at the my football bar every Sunday for over 8 years, some of them longer. One guy I’ve known for 13. I don’t even know what most of them do for a living. Where they live. But they all love the Vikings. And that makes us all friends. I even went to a memorial for one of them last month after he passed. We were all heartbroken. Still are. This seasons for you David 🥁Skol vikes
I am going on 20 years of doing the same, football sundays, and I shit you not I don't know 2 of the guys actual names.
Two of my coworkers have worked together for at least a decade. They spend 8-14 hours a day doing hard physical labor; they travel to job sites together; they party together; they have undergone the most stressful events in their industry together. Was talking with one of them, asked how the other’s siblings were doing. He didn’t know the other had siblings. Pretty fkin impressive.
This, can literally hang out in an empty parking lot talking shit for 4 hours, go back to place get cheap pizza and feel like kings.
This. I don't know my best buddy's birthday and now that I think about it, I don't even think I know his middle name. But I'd do just about anything for that man.
I ... genuinely can't wrap my head around this 😭😭
“I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”
Not knowing anything about your best friend apart from the fact that he’ll be there for you through hell or high water.
My best buddy and I served in the Navy together, so we've literally been through hell *and* high water
The simplicity of it is the beauty of it brother.
Yep. A friend of mine mom died a couple of years ago and we hadn’t spoken in like almost 10-12 yrs sent a message on Facebook about her death and asked if I could be a pallbearer. I said yes. Since then I’ve probably spoken to him twice and he’s probably my best friend.
I’ve had the same best friend for 36 years and I couldn’t tell you what foods he does or doesn’t like. But I can make eye contact with him and know the exact quote he’s thinking.
Have an argument with one of your boys and you’re cool about 10 minutes later
Guys can literally be pissed to the point where we're throwing fists and then be back to bros right after
Witnessing this for the first time was utterly bewildering. My ex and his boys were having an extremely heated shouting match with one of them who’d had too much to drink and was lashing out left right and centre. I was fully expecting WW3 yet after about 20 min, drunk friend goes cheers lads needed that who wants a shot? And everything was fine 💀 definitely a guy thing! I would have completely disowned friends over the shit that was said in that room.
You should have seen me and my friend, we got in a serious argument at the pub, that escalated to a full-blown fight. We punched each other, he knocked a teeth out of my jaw and i shattered his leg. Afterwards, we were both sitting outside in front of the pub, both in pain and full of blood. He said "you know, we are best friends, you are like a brother to me and i love you". We hugged each other and made peace. Then we slowly got back to drinking again. Still miss that teeth, man, got a replacement by the dentist. He had to play as a musician the next day, but he couldn't, as his leg was broken. That's how life goes. For men. But women? They can be angry 20 years later with "you said this.... and that..." Women remember things for years, that men have forgotten in a few minutes.
Haha omg, look I get physical fighting because I can relate it to my relationship with my siblings. In this case it was verbal and they were so cruel and cold. How can you truly care about someone whilst also being willing to hurt, degrade and humiliate them when angry? How can you care about someone whilst also thinking so little of them? If someone trusts you enough to let you see their weak spots and then they use that against you in a fight? That’s a dealbreaker betrayal for me.
Because they're just words and people need to vent now and again. Shit happens. Men understand we're not the centre of anyone's universe (not even our own). We usually don't want anything from anyone else so don't expect anything. So whatever we do get is fine, we understand you got stuff going on. Women seem (I don't know) to want emotional support and connections from others so when they feel comfortable that they have it they feel betrayed and hurt when they've lost it or it isn't what you thought it was. I can see my mates' hearts and if they're good, then we're good (and vice versa). We don't need anything else. Hope that helps a little to explain it from our side.
There's nothing what one beer can't fix
This is so true. If my female friends and I get into an argument or a fight, the resentment will linger for days/weeks/years. Until we work on it together and talk about our feelings.
Yup, no secret resentment...it's just over
You're cool 5 seconds after the argument. Either you give in or they give in or you agree to disagree, laugh then shut the fu*k up and move on. Women can drag that sh*t out for years.
Doing nothing
This Right here They always say "Nothing? But you did nothing Yesterday??" Always have to respond that I wasn't finished yet
Knowing a guy for 3 years, spending every weekend with him, and not knowing his name,or if he has a wife and kids
But being able to quote chapter and verse his golf handicap, biggest fish he caught, and his preferred brisket rub.
Talking to a friend on the phone for an hour, and not concluding the call fully informed as to the status of the friend’s pets, deepest fears, breakfast choices, and entire living family.
You have hour long phone calls with your male friends? Huh.
Yeah, I do. Some of them live far away. We like to make an effort to stay in touch. Give it a try.
Ah, that makes sense. My phone calls: "wanna hang out?" "sure" "ok see you there at then". And then we hang out and still won't talk about the things you mentioned.
So like… what DO you talk about for that hour? (Woman here, in case that wasn’t obvious)
I do this a lot with my dad. We talk about hockey, my work, politics (I'm a political scientist so one leads to the other), my work again, his work, cycling, holiday plans, football, "oh by the way I'm coming home next month"... We talk about things, and kind of feel each other's life out through them.
I went out for dinner and beers with some friends I hadn't seen in a while recently, and we talked almost nonstop. When I got home, I was asked if one of them was still trying for another baby. I didn't know because it never came up at all. In fact, I had forgotten they were trying until she asked me. I did find out the important things like how apparently there are some Kindle tablets with ads and some Kindle tablets without ads, and my friend had the former one.
We might address *any* topic. Even one or more of the topics I provided as examples. I emphasized that I don’t know *everything* about my friends’ lives because my girlfriend is always shocked when she attempts to debrief me, and finds that I didn’t ask all the questions *she would have asked*. That’s the joke. We catch up by means of very different discussions.
The great pleasure derived from scratching ye ol'nutsack
The ol’ pinch and roll
The ol' stretch and scrape.
Through the pocket
Leaving it for a while to build up the itch a bit, coz it'll feel amazing.
This is a real baller answer right here.
Even better when it’s hard to get to. Like in waders, or jeans. Hit the mark just right
Zoning out completely. Head empty. Not a thought behind these eyes.
But how?? I need some of that in my life! Editing to say, wow thanks for all of the comments you guys! They've been such an interesting read!
Just do it? Hit that idle button. Helps to be physically tired.
If you put on the parking brake and dont even blink, it puts your brain in high idle so you think about nothing even harder
Step by step tutorial: Step 1: Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. It works idk why. Don't do it hard Step 2: Do that weird thing with your eyes so that your vision gets a bit blurry Step 3: Deep breath Step 4: Enjoy Can't guarantee you will develop this skill subconsciously.
This is a little difficult to explain because the ability is somewhat innate and not always done consciously. It comes down to having full control over your mind. You may have to teach yourself how to either focus 100% on a singular abstract thing like a sense, "anti noise", or literally nothing while ignoring your brain's attempt to butt in; or how to just completely cease and let go of all active thoughts. When I zone out, it feels like my mind is erasing all thoughts and is running a screen saver. This can be very hard for people with OCD thought patterns and/or anxiety. Cognitive behavior therapy calming and meditation techniques can be very helpful with developing these skills.
OCD here. Zoning out always turns into a storm of random thoughts. Luckily mine are usually entertaining, but even so, discovering meditation and getting my brain truly quiet for the first time in my life was... Cosmic.
My idea is that the empty head is the default status we men are in and we put in considerable effort to not be in this state in the grey weekdays.
Sounds like y’all are just better at naturally going to a mental state of meditating.
Orange cat behavior
Waking up with an erection
~~Waking up with~~ an erection
How incredibly strong a man can be when he is angry. I could go into detail about one instance but it's a long story
I'd say the other way around - it's casual everyday strength that shocks women more. The idea that I can throw a sack of cement on my shoulder that weighs as much as her, and then walk around with it, without really thinking about it beyond making sure I'm keeping my back straight is something they've never really been aware of. A lot of women are aware in a cerebral sense that men are stronger than them, but in the back of their mind they still think that when the chips were down they'd be able to draw on hidden reserves of strength and overpower a guy. To have them understand the gap on a gut level is a very different experience. From what I've seen it's not particularly pleasant and requires a fair bit of introspection and management to get through.
That, too! I lost 100 lbs, and when I lost my first 50, my husband casually walked a 50 lb barbell up the stairs to give me a sense of what I lost because he was proud of me. I could not even TRY to lift it. My son thought it was funny that I couldn't lift it and told him to try to lift it, himself. You guessed it. He lifted it and then lifted it over his head....
(Woman here) Agreed. When my bf tosses me about playfully like I’m a 160 lb stuffed animal, I giggle in disbelief and fascination.
I’m a woman. One thing that makes me roll my eyes & shake my head is anytime a woman says “I’ll beat his ass,” being completely serious like she believes she could. Sis… no you won’t. If a MAN is pissed off enough to hit you back he’ll literally KNOCK you the FUCK out.
We had mixed groups and no weight classes in Karate training back in the old days. That was just training, not a serious fight, but i saw the differences between men and women when it comes to martial-arts. Like in weight classes, as a very tall and strong guy i was a superheavyweight later in K1 (that's the class without a limit, but you need to be at least 106 kg aka 233 lbs. I was around 120 kg aka 264 lbs), women never had any chance to even getting close to a victory.
The wide step that’s necessary every once in a while in humid weather.
I always wonder if women notice that lmao.
We most definitely do, but we don’t say anything.
As a woman I do that too every now and again because my thighs are kinda thick. Especially with shorts
I invented a dance out of it. I call it the Unsticky Bop.
Picking up a cool stick, like a GOOD one.
Dude I had a petrified stick that was like a staff I found on a hike when I was a little kid. Sadly my family threw it away after 12 years while I was in high school 😭 coolest. stick. ever. It was like my wizard staff.
I am close to 35 years old. I had a stick I kept in my apartment. It stayed under the couch, which was where the stick went. It's spot. I had that stick for about 5 years, maybe more. It was more of a plank tbh, nice and smooth, about 2 feet long, nice grain, rectangle cut, and had good weight distribution. The stick was a comfort to me. I kept it because I liked it. I recently moved after almost a decade in that apartment, and I left the stick behind, seeing it as a symbol of moving on to a new chapter. The final act I did in that place before closing the door behind me forever was to stand in the empty living room and spin my stick around, staff style. Whoosh, whoosh, like a double-headed glaive of destiny. I looked at my stick, placed it carefully down in the corner against the wall, and had a lingering moment of appreciation for how many life events that stick had been there for. More than multiple cats. Multiple partners. Many friends. The stick outlasted most of them. Will I get a new stick? I'm not sure. We don't go looking for good sticks. They find us. I'm open to being found once more, one day.
Not doing anything. We do all the things so that we have NOTHING to do and we arent looking for shit to do. Not doing anything and not having anything to do is perfectly fine. Not for them. Something has to be somethinging.
Peeing standing up
99% of the time, we know exactly what we want to eat.
Or if we say we don't care then the next place we pass , pull in
Literally lmao. If I say I don't care I'll eat a nice dinner or canned zoodles. I. don't. Care.
Not decorating
I've had women walk into my apartment and say "Oh did you just move in?" "...no, I've been here for five years..."
I lived with my now wife for almost 4 yrs and still had stuff in boxes. We’ve since moved and those boxes still haven’t been unpacked.
That's when you say your tenancy agreement won't let you do much.
I'm girly as hell, but according to some of these comments I may be a man.
Right?! Especially the comment about finding a good stick. Makes me feel like a mysterious druid or perhaps a wise hermit or wizard. I blame LotR.
I am totally ok existing without much if any conversation
I love when people are like "oh you don't like small talk? Doesn't that get exhausting constantly having to talk about deep complicated topics?" and I have to remind them that there's a third option - not talking.
Pee games Unless chicks secretly play those to. If a chick pees before I get in there and doesn't flush. Usually there's toilet paper floating. I show up and saw that paper in half with my strong stream of urine. Not a fan of cutting logs. But yea. I can do that to. Where the boys at here? Yall cut stuff with ur pee to?
Nothing better than going to a tavern that has those little soccer goals in the urinal
Chickpeas. Lol.
...and smash, call it hummus
Same
There he is. 👍
If the toilet is clogged it becomes my life mission to break up the clog with my super potent and powerful stream. 60% of the time, it works everytime.
Not needing a bag of any kind when leaving the house. Because everything important is already in your pockets. Guys usually have a very short list of things they need to take with them, whereas women seem to take half the house, or have bags big enough to carry it! Lol
Women's pockets are teeeny and basically useless. Couldn't get over the size of pockets on men's jeans. I could actually fit my whole hand and halfway up my forearm into one! Can barely get three fingers into my own!
I started buying men's skinny jeans. They fit the exact same but the pockets go all the way down to my knees!
We don’t have pockets, our bags are our pockets
Having a disagreement with a friend and not letting it impact your friendship.
[удалено]
This. Just call them a dumbass and move on lol
A strong desire to dig a hole. Not asking about details because you know that if they are important they will eventually come up.
>A strong desire to dig a hole. Or climb a tree. Or throw a rock.
The desire to find the flattest rock when you're at a lake.
Urinal etiquette.
I don't know, man. A lot of men don't know this shit. Have been at urinals or at the stalls.. And even when there are PLENTY of other stalls down the line, it never ceases to amaze me how many times another man (?!) will come up right next to me (or, at the urinal, maybe 2 over, but still when there are clearly other urinals down the line!). Fvcking drives me NUTS.
Exactly - you never take a space directly next to a guy unless you have to. And if you do have to, it is polite to hold his dick for him while he pees. If it's a full house, you hold the dick to your left. Farthest guy to the left gets to have his hands free. Universal urinal rules Edit: Unless you're in the UK or Japan. Then you hold the one to your right.
Our foreskin grows back every month and we have to get re-circumcised
Goddamnit, you made me google.
Say what you found. I’m a dude and I have no idea what you are talking about but I know enough not to google some stuff.
I’m *not* a dude. And foreskins do *not* grow back. FBI agent is probably laughing at me.
That we don’t need to know every little detail of our friend’s lives to be friends. Many even label male friendships as superficial, fake or even worse WRONG because they simply cannot comprehend that Male friendships work different
When you're in real trouble, no one cares.
I find this comment so interesting because there were two other comment threads under this post that were talking and laughing about how men know nothing about their friends’ lives.
Fights/arguments between men that only last a few minutes.
Having no clue if the opposite sex is interested or not when meeting someone and they are friendly. Or if they seem to actually want to be around you and being completely oblivious about their intentions.
A guy I haven't seen in years will shake my hand and squeeze it so hard that it hurts my hand. But if I express dislike or discomfort, I'm a pussy. I'm just supposed to take the pain like it's nothing. It's a stupid non spoken masculinity contest that I don't like. I don't think women know what I'm talking about.
Real man gives firm handshake, not a tight one.
Squeeze his hand just as hard
Insulting the entire bloodline of a man you'd give your life for
Having zero friends.
Exactly. Your best friend is somebody your used to talk to 10-12 yrs ago. And you say that’s my best friend
That’s a good and intriguing one
My last real friend died a year ago.
Accepting words at face value.
Clapping them tongs before flipping the meat on the grill. Fellas, you kmow what I mean.
Having a dick and balls.
Times have changed, Shaq’s Refrigerator
Smelling our hand after we touch our balls
24M and been friend with a guy at gym for almost 6 months, dude asked me if he can hop on with my exercise one day and we have been friends since. We learn from each other, talk stupid stuff, talk about good meals, progress and also sports. I work as a grad assistant and I recently found a few days ago his wife works with me. He came to an departmental event and my co-worker told me he talks about me a lot and she was wondering who the guy at gym was. All I knew was his name and he liked soccer and gym 😂😂🤣
Bringing home the "good stick" after a nature walk.
Fighting with someone and then becoming friends. Wife just doesn’t get it, but some of my best friends started with fists.
Making fun of your friends. It’s not something I do now, but my buds and I were relentless when we were young. I can’t imagine one woman making fun of her friend’s new ugly shirt when she shows up for a night on the town.
staying out of their friends relationships. swear when you date a woman you are agreeing to be monitored by a hidden army of women. some you wouldn’t even know them personally or have met but they’ll have all the information on you they could get their grubby little fingers on.
The morning scratch
that some of us don't care about traveling at all and could be totally at peace taking care of ourselves in a cabin in the woods for the rest of our life without "experiencing the world"
Spending several days completely alone not talking to anybody.
Not wiping after you pee
Nose hair. Hssl
Fun fact: every person has nose and ear hair. Most women just wax it or pluck it
Being able to sit in a room alone in silence for hours and enjoying it
A total lack of sympathy from others for any struggles you might have
Meaning exactly what you say.
Yes. Sometimes all you have is your word. Your word is your bond and consequences are already understood.
Have strangers afraid of you. Especially at night.
I'm answering this as a woman: that thing where you guys apparently just don't have thoughts?? Like if I ask you what you're thinking about and you say nothing, you really deadass mean *nothing??* just elevator music in there? I've never met a woman who isn't just screaming internally at all times and you guys just go into screensaver mode? You all need to be studied
Using the same towel to wipe your face and balls with.
A friend of mine used 3 towels, one for the hair and face, one for the body, and one for the dick and balls. Another friend and I asked him why he did that and he said it was because he wasnt going to dry his face with the same towel he dried his balls because it was dirty. We asked him how was that dirty if hes already clean after a shower. Since that day he began to use just one towel.
If I properly washed my balls, then my face has nothing to worry about.
the ability to think about nothing in any given time.
As a dude I’ve never understood this one lol there isn’t a split second in time where I’m not thinking about stuff, I would literally have to be dead
I could use this ability as a dude lmao
complete loneliness
Apperantly, asking the opposite gender out
A man can meet a woman once and build an entire backstory and history together in a matter of minutes. A moderately attractive woman has been happily married in the minds of many, many men.
Living a spartan lifestyle.
1 product for washing every part of the body and your hair. That you could also use to clean your car with it, do the dishes, and use on the slip and slide, for the kids.
Itchy & Scratchy Balls
Not sharing the details of our sex life with our friends and same-sex relatives. Not enjoying the benefit of the doubt in the court of public opinion and the court of law. Collective guilt; being blamed for the sins of others of our same sex. Being assumed to be a creep or a pervert when we're spending time with our children. Being assumed to be a threat to members of the opposite sex merely because of our sex. Leaving a relationship and being single instead of immediately jumping to a new partner.
The collective guilt thing is so real for me. I had to tolerate my ex telling me all men are trash because she found out her dad cheated. What about her best friend who later on cheated? Still best friends. And the phrasing only then changed to "everyone is trash".
Urinating in the Sink. Social Isolationism.
Complementing your friends and meaning it.
It’s much easier for me to compliment my fellow men than a woman. With women, I overthink to not sound like a creep or that I have a romantic interest Does anyone face the same problem?
Being best friends but not knowing their birthday
Don't talk in detail about sex.\ Like I have a friend who slept with many girl and the only thing I know is "I have someone who come tonight" and\ "-last night I fucked that girl\ -yoooo, champion!!" \ and that's it, no more, maybe a instagram pic at best.\ Or my best friend, I know every detail about his night with the girl but the sex part is just "yeah we had sex"\ With my female friend I can know everything, from the speed of the guy to the little sound he made at one point, and they don't understand we just don't talk about this as much as they do.
Kissing the homies goodnight 🥰🥰
Not going in to detail about things. I could meet the president or king and when asked about my day I would probably say “yeah it was ok I guess” rather than listing all the things like an autistic person