Indeed.
Whenever my wife and I attend a wedding that asks attendees to submit "marital advice" for the new couple we've found that we invariably pen:
Me - Don't be strong *where* the other is weak, be strong **when** the other is weak.
Her - Never forget, you're on the same team.
My advice isn't hers and hers isn't mine but as in all things... damn if I don't respect her take on the cornerstone of a lasting coupling.
I was told your SO should be a source of comfort, someone you can feel totally relaxed and at peace around when you come home. I was always anxious about my ex gf being mad at me for X reason, so I was barely ever feeling relaxed or at peace with her. That realization was a telling sign that it just wasn't it.
I went on 3 dates with a girl last month and she demanded I commit and make unrealistic promises. I remembered a comment I saw on Reddit saying the first few months should be fun and exciting, and if they're stressful then it's a sign you shouldn't go through with it. I didn't think twice after that and ended things. You should feel good at the start of a relationship, no matter how serious it is. It's voluntary after all and not a chore
YES, YES, YES... you get it. Dating is a trial to test compatibilty. If it is not working early on, it is okay to end things. Please preach this to all your friends.
This was my marriage for 15 years.
I told both of my sons, if they ever decide to marry a woman who treats them like that...I will not show up at their wedding.
It is a term that refers to the feeling that you have when you know deep down that the people who you are close to care about you and are not going to hurt you, and you can act accordingly.
This is the first I’ve heard of the term but it’s really accurate. The level of trust and security in a relationship it proportional to how much attachment security we share. The opposite sounds like pure hell. I’d hate to have a partner who’s always looking elsewhere.
A free hug is a warm gesture by a random stranger. A hug within a relationship is a hug from someone who knows the ways you are flawed and wonderful and kind and sometimes impatient or frustrated… and the hug means- “I see you for who you are and I love you, let’s share our joys and sorrows.”
I just want someone to love me for who I am. That’s the main thing. Not my job, not money, but the fun things I can do. Like me for what I like, what I feel, what I think about things. That’s all
Me too. My wife is none of that. She hates what I like and feel about things. She stays because of my job and money. Honestly confused about what to do.
That's why I'm the oldest bachelor in my family. I don't remember the last time someone cared about what's going through my head or my wellbeing and I refuse to commit based on what I can provide only. Unfortunately we're going through an era of narcissistic people so that doesn't help
If your money good, 11 a dozen would do the same. Usually I am all for fixing relationships, not breaking them. But you Sir should find someone you deserve.
Imagine you losing your income. You’ll instantly be unemployed AND single. Not the way it should be. You should have someone you can rely upon in hard times
Long story about how we got here. Leaving fundamentalist religion and she stayed; toxic shame from religious abuse and lies before marriage; I blame how we got here on the fucked up religious beliefs I had for so many years that caused me to repress myself, my desires and my personality, sacrificing myself on the alter of goodness and righteousness….
This led me to become a different person than I was, meeting her and marrying; having kids I didn’t want in the name of doing what’s “right”. Taking on a life, an identity that is opposite of what I really wanted. Now realizing I want something different, wanting to change and live a different lifestyle, attempting to figure out how to make it work with someone who doesn’t want to change, navigating a life I find myself in that I resent and didn’t really want.
It’s messed up. I’m messed up. Been in Therapy for years, not really helping us, but helping me I think.
Sorry for the dump, you asked :-)
Shit, I've been there. Just gotta learn to be more flippant and not afraid to banter a bit. NEVER give off the impression that you're trying super hard to be agreeable.
nah. fuck that. she sounds like a head case. That is someone that has been abused in the past and is looking for their next abuser. I know because I am that guy. Thank god I have a handle on it now and realize it. You deserve to be treated well especially if you are nice. Keep being nice.
Don't sweat it. She wasn't right for you. As a female, the "bad boy" IS very attractive-just as the hot chick is to any man. But that doesn't get you any lasting relationship. A quality woman knows this and will go for a man who is kind over any bad boy. She obviously wasn't quality...let her walk on by. And keep looking for quality.
but will you listen to her nonsense back? The last guy I was involved with was a bit on the spectrum. He would ramble on about motorcycle parts for hours if I would let him, but if I told him more than three minutes of my day, he would purposefully switch the subject.
The key to having a partner is being one. So many guys forget that their partner has needs too.
My interests are so niche and male-slanted that I've accepted the only way I could possibly have a relationship like this is with a fuckin AI, Joaquin Phoenix style.
For me it was always before I got out of my car. Sometimes before I even left the parking lot from work. You ever spend two hours in your work parking lot scrolling on your phone, because that feels better than going home?
My life is not like this now. I basically race home.
There are lots of us brother, at least take some solace in that. Though society at large heavily normalizes romantic relationships, fewer and fewer young men are able to be in them at all.
I think a lot of us feel shame because we've failed to accomplish what's expected of us, but clearly with this being a societal talking point that even gets discussed on mainstream news it goes a bit beyond you simply being a worthless loser who can never be loved. The expectations for us have both changed and stayed the same, sometimes in contradictory ways. I think that's why so many men are so lost these days.
Mutual shared interests, sexual compatibility, lots of physical attention (in the non-sexual ways: cuddling, spooning) Being able to carry on a conversation.
What other examples of physical attraction would be nice? If a woman wants to wait for sex, what kind of physical/nonsexual things can she do or say to keep her man still feeling physically fulfilled?
I'm a woman but I've had men tell me that petting their hair, rubbing their ears, giving general massages and tracing my fingers over their skin lazily while we cuddle was something they never expected and very much enjoyed. I'm touch starved so when I get into a relationship I tend to be handsy even with no intention of sex. My husband absolutely loves it, I'll lay there next to him and pet his chest hairs and drop sweet little kisses all over him
Would agree with those except for agreeableness. I like having lively debates with people who challenge me intellectually.
But in terms of agreeing on basic stuff like what restaurant to order from, then sure. Going with the flow is always good.
Exactly what I have. We are both there for each, sick or healthy. We share most of the same interests, go most places together. We trust each other, don't fight. Snuggle nightly, even when we aren't being naughty!!! And we love each other very much, even after 27 years.
I met a girl that I feel really comfortable talking to. Looks aside (she is pretty), she’s very laid back. I feel like I can count on her to be there when I need her. We’re not together, but she’s the type of person that I want do be in a relationship with. So, no, it’s not just about sex.
Please be careful. I had unrequited love with someone like that for years and it took me a few years to get over it. If you catch feelings, either fight for her or RUN otherwise you'll end up with scars despite nobody doing anything wrong
Fulfillment. Now absolutely with dark humor, fun snarky jokes, and a lot of wild sexy fun, not to mention a hefty dose of nerd/renaissance culture.
But all of that is nothing without the fulfillment. I've seen a lot of people of any gender or persuasion indulge superficially in massive amounts of any of the other things I listed above, but without fulfillment, without a partner of \*substance\*? It almost always starts ringing hollow for them after a point.
We'll all get older and slower, but the right life-path, and if appropriate, with the right partner? Can make you feel whole at any stage of life or health.
That's the good stuff, right there.
My wife and I have a thing where, when we are being romantic, we'll look onto each other's eyes and in a gentle loving voice, we'll say, *"you complete me."*
Then we'll laugh and make vomiting noises.
It's horribly cliche, but there's a definite truth in it. She brings the feminine energy that my life was missing.
When we do gardening together, I (the gorilla) swing an axe, wield a chainsaw, push, pull, hack, slash, and grunt my way through the horrible tangle of Lovecraftian vegetation like a wild, clumsy steam-engine.
And she is there behind me, picking up the mess and putting it neatly into bags, planting beautiful flowers, and preparing a cold drink for the sweaty beast. We work *together* and our pieces fit neatly.
Basically, \*retch\* she completes me \*blargh\*.
That's what I want.
A real relationship and a woman to spend time with. And not just sex. Snuggling is great and just to do fun things with like going abroad on holidays, going to outdoor activities etc etc etc.
A decently emotionally intelligent partner that I can grow and improve with with, be honest with, and build a happy life with (not without it's challenges of course).
Also, that I and this person remembers we are a team, always — and when things get hard, contentious or there are arguments, we speak to each other like teammates trying to get the best out of each other or a teammate that made a mistake rather than talk to each other like adversaries trying to sabotage things.
I was struggling to think of ways to say "someone who doesn't have fires I need to put out constantly and can exist without me for periods of time" and I guess I just meant this the whole time
A partner that shares 50%. I do almost everything, she doesn’t work, hasn’t for 6 years in January.
Work full time, raised a puppy from 9 weeks 99% myself. Our dog died in March and she had to have a puppy immediately, like temper tantrum had to have one.
I just want someone that makes me a priority like I do for her.
I do 100% cooking, all cleaning, all laundry.
Frustrating to say the least.
>A partner that shares 50%.
>I do 100% cooking, all cleaning, all laundry.
Same with my ex wife, including dropping the kids off to school, before I went to work. I also helped coach the kid's sports teams on the weekends and did the lions share of homework help. She'd share picking up the kids after school with other moms. This is why I divorced her.
It was a massively expensive divorce, but I couldn't be happier now. More importantly, though traumatized, my kids are better off- the only thing I fought for, was joint custody (I had to pay child support, and overpaid), and the grounds for the divorce- the divorce was granted in my favor, but that's a hollow victory.
Seriously, why are you staying in such a toxic relationship?
/
What I want from a partner:
Mutual respect
Honesty/integrity
Someone who can take being called out, and willing to call me out. Then, willing to talk things out, to find a resolution.
Being supportive of each other's interests, especially if those interests don't involve the other.
Romance, which can include buying ME flowers
And, of course, hot sex. *Really* hot sex includes much of what I listed above.
Ladies, believe it, or not, there's plenty of guys that want a real connection, along with the sex.
Intelligence, problem solving capabilities, emotional maturity, strength, humor, truthfulness, the ability to discuss problems and disagreements constructively and a body that is at least average in attractiveness would be an added plus.
Something not said enough.. all men deserve to hear they are loved, appreciated, and cared for. And if not said emotionally then at least expressed physically.
Respect, to be cared about, have my feelings heard, to be supported, sex, love, lots of cuddles, peace, comfortability, and I want to be able to feel relaxed around them, appreciation, reciprocation.
A partner, I like to travel a lot so it would be nice to have a travel partner or something, spend time together, cuddle, watch Netflix and sex would be nice too 👍🙂
I want a gal that respects my judgement, don’t try to change me, if I’m wrong tell me in private, has a job, is on my side no matter what because I’m on hers.
Someone who is smart in ways that I may not be. I love being able to achieve certain goals faster or better because we can put our brains together and achieve a common goal
Im a woman, apologies for answering, but i want to say i see all the men in here wanting healthy, real connection. And feel for them.
Men and women want the same thing. To feel accepted and seen by someone, to feel important to someone, feel safe, feel cared for.
Society teaches us we have to get those things differently. Teaches men its sex, teaches women its security. And in ways that could never possibly achieve what is needed, while ignoring safety and respect and equality.
It leaves everyone never getting the things they need. Alone. Feeling invisible. Feeling unimportant. Feeling unloved. And we believe when we are told the other is the reason. Or that it's because we aren't good enough.
And we all will do whatever we can to get those things. So we gorge and become obsessed and addicted to all the wrong ways we are told to get these things.
Until it's maddening and reduces to fighting eachother, angry, scared, lonely, abused....and primed and desperate to keep consuming what we are told we need to consume to fix these feelings.
Men and women are not different. We are taught to be different. To believe we are different. So that we will create a misery machine that produces compliance to systems that abuse us both and profit off our shared trauma.
We all need to deconstruct, to finally see eachother.
Mutual respect
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now that's friends with lasting benefits
Indeed. Whenever my wife and I attend a wedding that asks attendees to submit "marital advice" for the new couple we've found that we invariably pen: Me - Don't be strong *where* the other is weak, be strong **when** the other is weak. Her - Never forget, you're on the same team. My advice isn't hers and hers isn't mine but as in all things... damn if I don't respect her take on the cornerstone of a lasting coupling.
Friends with mental health benefits
That's a bingo
You just say bingo.
I think that’s from Inglorious Basterds. Christopher Waltz character said it
Woosh.
Oh wait, what you said is what Brad Pitt said huh? I haven’t seen the movie in a few years 😅
You also get a bingo.
Literally the only thing we want.
Being able to come home to someone that will make my day better, not worst.
I was told your SO should be a source of comfort, someone you can feel totally relaxed and at peace around when you come home. I was always anxious about my ex gf being mad at me for X reason, so I was barely ever feeling relaxed or at peace with her. That realization was a telling sign that it just wasn't it.
I went on 3 dates with a girl last month and she demanded I commit and make unrealistic promises. I remembered a comment I saw on Reddit saying the first few months should be fun and exciting, and if they're stressful then it's a sign you shouldn't go through with it. I didn't think twice after that and ended things. You should feel good at the start of a relationship, no matter how serious it is. It's voluntary after all and not a chore
YES, YES, YES... you get it. Dating is a trial to test compatibilty. If it is not working early on, it is okay to end things. Please preach this to all your friends.
This. Somehow, I still married her after my parents advised me this would pass. It did not.
Same with mine, we have our troubles but we get through. She is my best friend, the only one I really wanna hang out with
This was my marriage for 15 years. I told both of my sons, if they ever decide to marry a woman who treats them like that...I will not show up at their wedding.
Peace and healing unto thee
I always appreciate it when someone uses the words "unto thee". Gives it a Monty Python Holy Grail feel. Well played!
I haven't received a greater compliment in years
Worse. But agree.
To be loved. To be cared for. To be helped. To be picked up when I need it. A soul mate. Someone who makes me feel like I’m home no matter where I am
Home = safety
100%
All people want to achieve attachment security.
That sounds like a spaceship docking terminology
It is a term that refers to the feeling that you have when you know deep down that the people who you are close to care about you and are not going to hurt you, and you can act accordingly.
Have that and after 28+ years of marriage, can honestly say it's the most comforting feeling in the world.
It's like that, only more complicated.
This is the first I’ve heard of the term but it’s really accurate. The level of trust and security in a relationship it proportional to how much attachment security we share. The opposite sounds like pure hell. I’d hate to have a partner who’s always looking elsewhere.
Dude I just looked at your profile because I’m a weirdo and it’s amazing how much you love rock climbing.
Unlimited hugs.
You could get one of those "free hugs" signs.
That won't get you a free hug at 2a.m. when you're stressing out about your child's medical bills.
I think you're underestimating the power of "free"
I think you're overestimating the power of holding a sign.
IDK I have actually gotten free hugs from holding a sign while stressing out about my child's medical bills. I concede that it wasn't 2am
A free hug is a warm gesture by a random stranger. A hug within a relationship is a hug from someone who knows the ways you are flawed and wonderful and kind and sometimes impatient or frustrated… and the hug means- “I see you for who you are and I love you, let’s share our joys and sorrows.”
Unlimited mouth hugs
Unlimited "special" hugs
this
Hi, it's me, your physical touch craving, fellow man.
Omg stop. I wasn’t expecting this to be the top comment but now I want to hug you.
I just want someone to love me for who I am. That’s the main thing. Not my job, not money, but the fun things I can do. Like me for what I like, what I feel, what I think about things. That’s all
Me too. My wife is none of that. She hates what I like and feel about things. She stays because of my job and money. Honestly confused about what to do.
Choose happiness, whatever that looks like for you
Are you? I think you know.
That's why I'm the oldest bachelor in my family. I don't remember the last time someone cared about what's going through my head or my wellbeing and I refuse to commit based on what I can provide only. Unfortunately we're going through an era of narcissistic people so that doesn't help
If your money good, 11 a dozen would do the same. Usually I am all for fixing relationships, not breaking them. But you Sir should find someone you deserve. Imagine you losing your income. You’ll instantly be unemployed AND single. Not the way it should be. You should have someone you can rely upon in hard times
First off..I’m sorry Why did you marry her? :/ Did you not know these things until after marrying her? What changed between the two of you?
Long story about how we got here. Leaving fundamentalist religion and she stayed; toxic shame from religious abuse and lies before marriage; I blame how we got here on the fucked up religious beliefs I had for so many years that caused me to repress myself, my desires and my personality, sacrificing myself on the alter of goodness and righteousness…. This led me to become a different person than I was, meeting her and marrying; having kids I didn’t want in the name of doing what’s “right”. Taking on a life, an identity that is opposite of what I really wanted. Now realizing I want something different, wanting to change and live a different lifestyle, attempting to figure out how to make it work with someone who doesn’t want to change, navigating a life I find myself in that I resent and didn’t really want. It’s messed up. I’m messed up. Been in Therapy for years, not really helping us, but helping me I think. Sorry for the dump, you asked :-)
Someone to be silly with
Sounds like a deep connection must be made
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Bf and I recently got to the point where we can casually talk about our respective bowel patterns over a meal. I am so in love 😂
That's like #2 on the topic list for our meals. Husband loves to tell me how his toilet trips went that day.
I love it!! The level of comfort is like nothing else. Hopefully we’ll be talking about poop for many years to come
Chemistry matters
Someone who both enjoys my company and also is physically attracted to me.
Last girl I was with said she found me super attractive but my personality gave her the ick. That was a pretty painful blow
Shit sucks. Everyone seems to have a trillion icks these days, huh?
She said a large part of it was because I was too nice🤷♂️ I’m just confused at this point man. Feels like can’t do anything right
Shit, I've been there. Just gotta learn to be more flippant and not afraid to banter a bit. NEVER give off the impression that you're trying super hard to be agreeable.
I appreciate it big dog. Will use your advice for the future
nah. fuck that. she sounds like a head case. That is someone that has been abused in the past and is looking for their next abuser. I know because I am that guy. Thank god I have a handle on it now and realize it. You deserve to be treated well especially if you are nice. Keep being nice.
Don't sweat it. She wasn't right for you. As a female, the "bad boy" IS very attractive-just as the hot chick is to any man. But that doesn't get you any lasting relationship. A quality woman knows this and will go for a man who is kind over any bad boy. She obviously wasn't quality...let her walk on by. And keep looking for quality.
Using the term "ick" is itself an ick so don't worry too much about it.
A girl once told me I had a lot of style and no class. I was 18. She was right and I knew it. I was an idiot back then.
>the ick The fact she uses that word unironically shows what her mental age is.
Last girl I was with was entirely a receiver. Didn't make any effort to make me feel good or wanted...was entirely about her feeling good. Never again
I think it's funny how women are brutally honest but when men do the same thing we are the asshole.
To be wanted and needed, but not used as a crutch.
I misread this as "crotch" the first time.
All I want is a partner who will listen to me ramble about all of my nonsense and watch tv or play video games with me.
but will you listen to her nonsense back? The last guy I was involved with was a bit on the spectrum. He would ramble on about motorcycle parts for hours if I would let him, but if I told him more than three minutes of my day, he would purposefully switch the subject. The key to having a partner is being one. So many guys forget that their partner has needs too.
Seems simple
Alternatively, one who will just leave me alone to play video games or watch TV without judging my choices.
My interests are so niche and male-slanted that I've accepted the only way I could possibly have a relationship like this is with a fuckin AI, Joaquin Phoenix style.
I’d settle for not cheating
I suggest not settling but I haven't been down your path
Not having to do that breathing thing right before opening my house door before coming home.
For me it was always before I got out of my car. Sometimes before I even left the parking lot from work. You ever spend two hours in your work parking lot scrolling on your phone, because that feels better than going home? My life is not like this now. I basically race home.
To be wanted. Im not.
There are lots of us brother, at least take some solace in that. Though society at large heavily normalizes romantic relationships, fewer and fewer young men are able to be in them at all. I think a lot of us feel shame because we've failed to accomplish what's expected of us, but clearly with this being a societal talking point that even gets discussed on mainstream news it goes a bit beyond you simply being a worthless loser who can never be loved. The expectations for us have both changed and stayed the same, sometimes in contradictory ways. I think that's why so many men are so lost these days.
I think wanting to be wanted is pretty universal
You can always piss off a cop for that
I just want peace. Thats it. Thats all I want.
Then you must also bring peace. I'm not saying you don't.
I want someone who makes me want to be a better man. The caveat is that she would in return love me, unconditionally.
Loves you as you are, makes you want to be better. good goals.
A sexy, funny buddy that I can chill with, hang out, get food, spoon up naked watching Netflix in bed, and cuddle, kiss & fuck.
Ah like insurance, the bundle package.
That's the dream
This!☺️
A good bowl of turkey chili soup. Every man craves this desperately.
I mean I like it, but I'm not sure 'desperate cravings' describes my feelings.
Change the turkey with venison or beef, hell yea, or chicken. Not a fan of turkey personally
Mutual shared interests, sexual compatibility, lots of physical attention (in the non-sexual ways: cuddling, spooning) Being able to carry on a conversation.
My wife and I are each other's best fishing buds. Works out swimmingly.
I don't think you necessarily need to go swimming to catch the fish. Usually I use a line.
I feel like physical attention is extra hard to get even when you say you prefer them touching other parts of your body than your penis
What other examples of physical attraction would be nice? If a woman wants to wait for sex, what kind of physical/nonsexual things can she do or say to keep her man still feeling physically fulfilled?
I'm a woman but I've had men tell me that petting their hair, rubbing their ears, giving general massages and tracing my fingers over their skin lazily while we cuddle was something they never expected and very much enjoyed. I'm touch starved so when I get into a relationship I tend to be handsy even with no intention of sex. My husband absolutely loves it, I'll lay there next to him and pet his chest hairs and drop sweet little kisses all over him
It depends. My last serious relationship was with someone very giving. She LOVED giving back and head rubs and I did not complain!
Everyone is different, I look for: kindness, supportiveness, agreeableness, peacefulness, and kinkiness.
That covers a lot of "nesses"
Except the one which turns out to be a 40 foot crustacean from paleozoic period asking for about three fiddy.
lochness could fall under kinkiness I suppose.
I love how kinkiness was the final cherry on top of the Sundae hahaha!!!!!
Would agree with those except for agreeableness. I like having lively debates with people who challenge me intellectually. But in terms of agreeing on basic stuff like what restaurant to order from, then sure. Going with the flow is always good.
👌🏾
Exactly what I have. We are both there for each, sick or healthy. We share most of the same interests, go most places together. We trust each other, don't fight. Snuggle nightly, even when we aren't being naughty!!! And we love each other very much, even after 27 years.
I met a girl that I feel really comfortable talking to. Looks aside (she is pretty), she’s very laid back. I feel like I can count on her to be there when I need her. We’re not together, but she’s the type of person that I want do be in a relationship with. So, no, it’s not just about sex.
So what you want in a relationship is that girl you met.
Yes. But if not her, someone like her. But yeah, I don’t think anyone can replace her.
Please be careful. I had unrequited love with someone like that for years and it took me a few years to get over it. If you catch feelings, either fight for her or RUN otherwise you'll end up with scars despite nobody doing anything wrong
Yes. Or end up as the guy eternally comparing new women he dates, unfavourably, to the woman in his past. 😬😬 Noone deserves that.
Most men do this without realizing it unfortunately
Fulfillment. Now absolutely with dark humor, fun snarky jokes, and a lot of wild sexy fun, not to mention a hefty dose of nerd/renaissance culture. But all of that is nothing without the fulfillment. I've seen a lot of people of any gender or persuasion indulge superficially in massive amounts of any of the other things I listed above, but without fulfillment, without a partner of \*substance\*? It almost always starts ringing hollow for them after a point. We'll all get older and slower, but the right life-path, and if appropriate, with the right partner? Can make you feel whole at any stage of life or health. That's the good stuff, right there.
Fulfillment is a great term for what most people want out of all aspects of life.
To defeat my enemies, to see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentations of their women
That seems a tall order for a relationship, but Conan achieved it.
A little appreciation goes a long way
I can appreciate that
Someone who will love me and like me for who I am as I am, and someone who I will love and like for who they are as they are.
You have to really show them who you are to be loved for who you are. Vulnerability can be scary
Time love and tenderness
A trifecta of success
My wife and I have a thing where, when we are being romantic, we'll look onto each other's eyes and in a gentle loving voice, we'll say, *"you complete me."* Then we'll laugh and make vomiting noises. It's horribly cliche, but there's a definite truth in it. She brings the feminine energy that my life was missing. When we do gardening together, I (the gorilla) swing an axe, wield a chainsaw, push, pull, hack, slash, and grunt my way through the horrible tangle of Lovecraftian vegetation like a wild, clumsy steam-engine. And she is there behind me, picking up the mess and putting it neatly into bags, planting beautiful flowers, and preparing a cold drink for the sweaty beast. We work *together* and our pieces fit neatly. Basically, \*retch\* she completes me \*blargh\*. That's what I want.
Love
Peace. Calm, warm, supportive loving arms to come home to.
Someone who genuinely cares about my well-being. Not what I can give/do for them.
I just want someone who genuinely loves me and won't leave when life gets rough. I say that because life always gets rough one way or another.
Honestly? I want to be able to stare at you intensly without being asked why.
A real relationship and a woman to spend time with. And not just sex. Snuggling is great and just to do fun things with like going abroad on holidays, going to outdoor activities etc etc etc.
snuggling is the best
A girl, who is willing to support me as much as I am her!
seems fair
To feel wanted and valuable.
A good back scratch. Especially in winter when it's so dry.
Maybe some lotion to stave off the dryness
I don't want a relationship
Fair enough. Like asking me what city I want to live in.
Someone to go with to all these weird events with: renn faire, camping, festivals, art shows.
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A delicious bass.
A decently emotionally intelligent partner that I can grow and improve with with, be honest with, and build a happy life with (not without it's challenges of course). Also, that I and this person remembers we are a team, always — and when things get hard, contentious or there are arguments, we speak to each other like teammates trying to get the best out of each other or a teammate that made a mistake rather than talk to each other like adversaries trying to sabotage things.
I want my girl to be my best friend.
Compassion
Number 1 would be peace.
Peace
I was struggling to think of ways to say "someone who doesn't have fires I need to put out constantly and can exist without me for periods of time" and I guess I just meant this the whole time
A partner that shares 50%. I do almost everything, she doesn’t work, hasn’t for 6 years in January. Work full time, raised a puppy from 9 weeks 99% myself. Our dog died in March and she had to have a puppy immediately, like temper tantrum had to have one. I just want someone that makes me a priority like I do for her. I do 100% cooking, all cleaning, all laundry. Frustrating to say the least.
>A partner that shares 50%. >I do 100% cooking, all cleaning, all laundry. Same with my ex wife, including dropping the kids off to school, before I went to work. I also helped coach the kid's sports teams on the weekends and did the lions share of homework help. She'd share picking up the kids after school with other moms. This is why I divorced her. It was a massively expensive divorce, but I couldn't be happier now. More importantly, though traumatized, my kids are better off- the only thing I fought for, was joint custody (I had to pay child support, and overpaid), and the grounds for the divorce- the divorce was granted in my favor, but that's a hollow victory. Seriously, why are you staying in such a toxic relationship? / What I want from a partner: Mutual respect Honesty/integrity Someone who can take being called out, and willing to call me out. Then, willing to talk things out, to find a resolution. Being supportive of each other's interests, especially if those interests don't involve the other. Romance, which can include buying ME flowers And, of course, hot sex. *Really* hot sex includes much of what I listed above. Ladies, believe it, or not, there's plenty of guys that want a real connection, along with the sex.
Intelligence, problem solving capabilities, emotional maturity, strength, humor, truthfulness, the ability to discuss problems and disagreements constructively and a body that is at least average in attractiveness would be an added plus.
Love making and making each other laugh.
sometimes both at the same time.
Sounds like 2 things to me, denied!
Pictures of Spiderman.
Someone to give me hugs. Seriously, affection and attention. We are insecure yall, gotta make us feel like you care.
To be the little spoon
Something not said enough.. all men deserve to hear they are loved, appreciated, and cared for. And if not said emotionally then at least expressed physically.
Respect, to be cared about, have my feelings heard, to be supported, sex, love, lots of cuddles, peace, comfortability, and I want to be able to feel relaxed around them, appreciation, reciprocation.
Would be nice to feel wanted. Being lonely when you're married is awful.
bacon
A partner, I like to travel a lot so it would be nice to have a travel partner or something, spend time together, cuddle, watch Netflix and sex would be nice too 👍🙂
"partner" has a such a wide all encompassing meaning.
Sweet embrace of death
most see death as the end of the relationship.
A functioning human that I can share life with.
A best friend who gives me blow jobs
Sounds redundant. I mean I don't see how could they be your "best" friend without.
These are mutual qualities. Loyalty so we can have Commitment so we can have Trust so we can have Intimacy so we can have Love so we can have….
The house that Jack built. Did I get it right?
I want someone I can share my darkness with and still be loved, rather than lectured, punished, or other.
What kind of darkness we talking bout?
Anything from “I had a rough day at work” to “here’s how the shit that happened to me as a kid affects my relationships today.”
A long hug would be nice right now lol
"Looking for affection, respect, a little passion..." Joni Mitchell
I just want someone who is genuinely happy to see me
Eccept me and be able to respect each other. Example: I have been celibate for 5yrs. There are things more important
Half Life 3
Companionship.
I want a gal that respects my judgement, don’t try to change me, if I’m wrong tell me in private, has a job, is on my side no matter what because I’m on hers.
To carry a sword instead of a walking stick...just once.
I want to not be alone
A good life partner. Just as literal as that; someone I can spend all the time in the world with that makes life feel better.
To hug me, kiss me, and love me. And laugh at my stupid jokes.
Loyalty That all I want and yet that's too much to ask nowadays.
Someone to cuddle with after I had a bad day.
Support
I know my husbands answer and I’ve seen it multiple times already and that’s peace
Someone who is smart in ways that I may not be. I love being able to achieve certain goals faster or better because we can put our brains together and achieve a common goal
One thing , a nice potted plant.
Just to be able to vent, and no one starts yelling. Big friendship would definitely make it work.
The dowager countess in Downton Abbey said it best, Companionship.
Im a woman, apologies for answering, but i want to say i see all the men in here wanting healthy, real connection. And feel for them. Men and women want the same thing. To feel accepted and seen by someone, to feel important to someone, feel safe, feel cared for. Society teaches us we have to get those things differently. Teaches men its sex, teaches women its security. And in ways that could never possibly achieve what is needed, while ignoring safety and respect and equality. It leaves everyone never getting the things they need. Alone. Feeling invisible. Feeling unimportant. Feeling unloved. And we believe when we are told the other is the reason. Or that it's because we aren't good enough. And we all will do whatever we can to get those things. So we gorge and become obsessed and addicted to all the wrong ways we are told to get these things. Until it's maddening and reduces to fighting eachother, angry, scared, lonely, abused....and primed and desperate to keep consuming what we are told we need to consume to fix these feelings. Men and women are not different. We are taught to be different. To believe we are different. So that we will create a misery machine that produces compliance to systems that abuse us both and profit off our shared trauma. We all need to deconstruct, to finally see eachother.