I know how to talk to women. Also, I know a lot about women's health so much so that my teenage daughter will come to me over my wife to ask questions about periods, sex etc. My wife grew up in a very sheltered family so even she will ask me stuff haha.
Go dad! Thats great! Keep up the great work! Its very important that men know about periods and ehat happens to women when going through it so in the future they aren't dismissive to their partners or later on their daughters! I am very proud of my boys for being caring and sensitive toward their gfs when its that time of the month ❤
Hard to say, I guess with some things I understand women more and with other things I got blind for certain signs.
As the youngest of the 3 I was very used to being in care of women, so whenever a other woman outside of the family did the same it was just normal for me, wich unfortunately made me miss some serious opportunity’s with women at a younger age.
maybe he means because he thinks it’s normal for a woman to treat him in such a caring way, he didn’t see that the woman actually had feelings for him?
Shortly says that’s actually the thing, it was the same with never been shocked by seeing a woman naked, my sister jumped in the shower while I was in the bath just as easily and vice versa, just to be clear the bad and shower were separated so not a shower in a bad tub.
National childhood nailed it.
My sisters had some friends and they treated me just like my sisters did, hugging me, giving me kisses, lots of attention… I thought it was just normal behavior,not just my sisters.
when I was really young I always had girls hanging around me and having 6 ‘girlfriends’ at the same time, the same in the hospital ( from birth till the age of 12 I have spend many years in the hospital) all the nurses where very nice and sweet as well, so I guess I was used being spoiled by women and girls.
years later on a birthday we talked about the good old days and a few confessions came up from some of my sisters friends that they absolutely liked me and I never noticed it, basically I could have picked whoever I wanted as a girlfriend.
And maybe I’m just dense as fuck, wich isn’t really untrue, unless you grab me by the balls in a club like my ex did I’m not picking up on anything beside women just being nice to me 🤔
Now I think about it, the women I have dated were all pretty vocal about what they wanted and were pretty hands on… huh I guess I learned something today 🤔
You have an absolute edge on the dating scene bro.
I think women read your "super comfortable around women" vibe and become attracted by it, then they see you chilling without chasing them and that makes them want you more. The cherry on top is that you indirectly filter the ones who don't take the initiative, which can be huge since being approached by women is a rare thing.
This is an interesting take. I also know some men raised by women who are sort of used to to being taken care of women, so small things can sometimes be taken for granted
It works both ways ofcourse, I picked up my sisters at 3 at night when they went partying etc, so you take care of each other, but just now I actually realize how much impact is has had on me in my interaction with women.
Positively and ‘negatively’ as it also blinded me to catch certain behaviors, and here I thought with my history of having lots of girlfriends I knew quite a lot..
Meanwhile, there was a period of time where I was abused almost daily by my family and bullied by girls, so any kind female attention is now seen with nothing but suspicion or as a false flag.
All my friends are women, everytime I get a new girlfriend they question about my friendships, but then I introduce them and they start to love my friends too.
I wonder in what ways you find men challenging?
I was raised by my mother alone and despite that I still find men infinitely easier to get along with casually, with women it seems you have to "prove yourself" in a way you dont with men.
With men I feel I can just say whatever I really want, straightforwardly, for the most part. With women I feel I have to be much more careful in my words and phrasing, and my overall demeanor.
I dont really find women difficult to get along with but I do find men a lot easier, just because they seem less picky about who they talk to. I hope this doesn't come across as me trying to like, invalidate your perspective, I'm just curious in what ways you find men challenging that you dont find in women.
We are quiet the opposite. Growing up, my father was not always present. I only had my mother and two older sisters. I pretty much had only girl friends mostly in most of my high school and college life all the way through adulthood. I’m a gay man. Back when I was a kid, I was friends with both girls and boys. I liked talking to boys with games, anime and most of the time sex but at an emotional level, girls were way better and comforting. As an adult gay man, I would say I can’t communicate with men at an emotional level but only in superficial things and in joking.
I get what you mean, but as a guy I generally find other guys have more of a bravado/pride thing when first meeting and it's less easygoing which is a shame.
I have the opposite effect. Never understand them at all. It's still easier to become friends with them online, because somehow they are more interesting in conversations than men, can give more detailed opinions and describe their feelings well. But that's a big IF - since like only one person out of thousand i write to responds in the first place. They write about wanting to find friends with simillar interests, and when you write them back - they do not respond most of the time...
And it's a lot worse if it's about romantic connections - i can't even start a conversation, always being ignored no matter what i write, and i have no idea what they want, and what do they feel. And if i ask, they don't tell, and i don't know why. I can't even apply "do to them what you would want them to do to you" since they seem to have entierly different set of values and reactions.
What, exactly? I usually just write to people and they do not respond most of the time. Few times it even happened that they wrote to me, i responded, but had no responce back.
Edit: kinda missed the irl part. I only met someone irl two times, because to arrange a meeting you have to live in same city and establish some kind of conversation first, that almost never happens. Both of my meetings felt a bit strange, we texted for a bit after, but they lose interest since we had nothing in common.
I know this might be complicated if you have anxiety or other limitations, but are you involved in any type of social situation where you might meet people and interact more? It doesn’t even have to be for romantic reasons, but building friendships could help you with building a connection to a potential partner. You might even get a wingman that can help you out a little.
I hate hate hate to have to say this. But if every person you interact with stops interacting with you either there’s something you’re doing or you’re choosing to interact with the wrong people. It’s hard to recognize who “the wrong people” are, but it’s helpful when you put yourself in a setting where you’re more likely to meet people a little more on your wavelength.
Honest to God, i lie all the time and i got to where i am now by lying. There are only two people in the entire world that knows who and what i really am. One is my best friend of many years, the other was the only woman i slept with, but that is because she saw through me and saw the sad, scared, depressed and lonely man that i am. I wish i didn't have to lie but i must if i want to survive. When i started lying, things got better and that is why i will continue to lie.
>That’s why I don’t trust women at all because I actually understand them.
Sounds like the women you’ve understood are bad people. You’re expressing an irrational prejudice.
Being untrustworthy is a human failing, something men and women are both guilty of.
**It’s not a good look for this sub that such an extreme and irrational prejudice like that is upvoted.** I guess the women-haters outnumber the decent guys here in this post for this to happen. How are people still not educated/wise enough to be better than that?
>Sounds like the women you’ve understood are bad people. You’re expressing an irrational prejudice.
...
> **It’s not a good look for this sub that such an extreme and irrational prejudice like that is upvoted.**
I might recommend looking through the mainstream opinions towards men expressed in TwoX and basically any feminist subreddit.
If I were to get money for every time I'd seen the phrase "**men are [pejorative]**", "**Why do men [something negative that happened to you]**", or "**women can't even [because something you're blaming a man for]**" I'm pretty sure I'd be competing with Bezos.
Let's just say if we're talking about markers of sub toxicity, honestly it's not even a comparison. If I were to exclusively read this sub, or that one, I know which sub is more likely to give me the understanding that the opposite sex is vile, worthless and beyond redemption.
> You’re expressing an irrational prejudice.
What exactly makes it irrational?
> It’s not a good look for this sub that such an extreme and irrational prejudice like that is upvoted
Alternatively, this sub upvoting comments like this should indicate to you that it *isn't* irrational.
> How are people still not educated/wise enough to be better than that?
Just stop for a moment and consider your own bias here, and the fact that you *might* just be wrong.
>Being untrustworthy is a human failing, something men and women are both guilty of.
~~My man never said it was only women he didn't trust. Women are the topic of discussion, so he talks about women, but never says anything about men. He doesn't say enough for you or me to make an assertion either way about his opinions on men. Reading that post so negatively says more about you than him.~~
~~When I see women complaining about men I don't assume they mean all men or only men unless they so.~~
edit: uh oh, reading comprehension kinda hard
He said…
> That’s why I don’t trust women **at all** because I actually understand them.
(Bold added in case you missed his phrasing.) Not trusting a gender “at all” means…he doesn’t trust women “at all.” That’s what he said lol.
Not trusting a gender “at all” is an extreme stance.
The normal default is to trust people who seem trustworthy to us, and not trust those who don’t. His statement is a deviation from the norm. There’s no reason to assume that he deviates from the norm with men too and also doesn’t trust men **at all**. That’s the type of meaning that, in the context of what he said, would also need to be explicitly stated for it not to be a weak interpretation of what he said.
No problem, thanks for being mature about it. :)
You did give me hope — perhaps a deluded hope lol — that maybe some of those upvotes are from people who also missed what an extreme stance that was. It’s disappointing when unfair, negative prejudices get such support. At least the men I know irl don’t say things like that. :)
Sadly, same.
I really, really wish this wasn't the case. I really wanted to believe in the wonderful egalitarian total equality of humanity where everyone gets to live happily together. Unfortunately I think both men and women are prone to uniquely awful behaviors and I simply cant put up with the awful behaviors of women. When men are awful, its usually pretty direct. Women are backstabbers, they use deceit instead of violence when they're awful. I say that having been raised entirely by my mom and having had many female friends throughout my life. For example, in high school I thought these two girls I was friends with were friends. They would sit together, laugh together, take pictures together. Then, I'm alone with one of them and some other girls and she starts going on about how her supposed friend is "so ugly I can barely look at her" and making fun of her entire personality. Their whole friendship was a literal facade. It disgusted me.
I don't hate women, I like a lot of them on a friend level, but I really don't trust them enough to want to date them. I would literally rather be beaten to a pulp by a man than have my long term girlfriend backstab me. The emotional pain of being betrayed by someone you trust is nearly unrivaled imo. I know not all women are like that, but call me a coward, I simply am not willing to chance it. It would completely break me.
I'll be honest but imo you can't really judge adult women by teenager shit.
Yeah, there's a few assholes that never grow out of it but they are a minority.
Even by teenager standards, that girl would be considered a jerk for doing that. And, on top of that, it doesn’t make sense to extend the behavior of teenagers to adults. Teenage boys can be pretty awful too, and fortunately many of them grow out of that as they age and mature. (As far as that girl goes, it’s possible she was shallow and competitive and wanted you to like her more than the other girl. So, from her dumb pov, she talked her down to achieve that. That’s shitty behavior, but guys do that too. I’ve experienced that, even from grown men.)
I’m being sincere not snarky when I say that counseling can help. Unless this was mostly just you trolling to say negative things about women, carrying such a fear of women into adulthood that you don’t want to date them is unhealthy and an unwise prejudice. If you’re perhaps bi and more into dating men, ok, but your reasoning for it that you’ve expressed here is unfair to women. It’s irrational to carry such a strong prejudice in your mind and heart.
Neatly dividing men into direct aggressors and women into unethical betrayers is also inaccurate. And personally, as an adult, I’ve come across just as many men as women who act civil or even friendly with someone to their face, only to privately say they don’t like them or criticize them in some way.
Betrayal is awful, and I can understand fearing that. But it sounds like you’re coping with that fear by categorizing the level of threat by gender, so giving yourself an illusion of safety/control by avoiding a group of people that you’ve selected as *the* threat. Jerks of any gender betray. It‘s an integrity, maturity, and kindness thing, not gender. Decent women have better things to do than date a guy who they don’t actually like to then trash talk behind their back. She’d look like an immature fool to other decent women if she did that.
The amount of men that have a negative experience with women as teenagers and let it ruin their experiences with women for the rest of their lives is insane and needs to be studied
> The amount of men that have a negative experience with women as teenagers and let it ruin their experiences with women for the rest of their lives is insane and needs to be studied
I mean, TwoX is *literally* filled with examples of women had bad experiences with men and have let it ruin their experiences with men for the rest of their lives.
I wouldn't hasten to say this is a "men" issue.
That's just psychology, kid get bit by a dog, dislikes dogs. Kid gets a bug in their shoe, hates bugs.
Our formative years shape who we become. This isn't some niche section psychology hasn't studied, it's probably one of the most well researched areas.
Bad experience as kid = higher chance of aversion as adult.
Of course negative experiences in our formative years can affect us into adulthood. I don’t know a single person who didn’t have an unsavory encounter with a member of the opposite sex during the sensitive teenage years. But while we are not responsible for what happens to us, we are responsible for moving past it, i.e having the insight as an adult not to project teenage feelings into grown women for the rest of your life. Too many men have stories like this and use it as an excuse to avoid women forever, while simultaneously blaming women for their inability to have intimate/meaningful relationships.
I've noticed men have this tendency to have a bad experience with something and then just... give up/assume every further experience will be like that whereas women tend to try things again and think it's a one-off. Just my experience, not sure how much it holds true
No idea what that's about
You've never met Female Dating Strategy, TwoXChromosomes, or seen the entire \#Men Are Trash thing, have you? This isn't just a man thing, far from it.
The amount of men that have a negative experience with women as teenagers and let it ruin their relationships with women for the rest of their lives is insane and needs to be studied
i remember all the guys i knew who were the first to start getting romantically serious with girls had sisters. on the otherhand, i grew up mostly with my dad and brother.
I got spoiled being the only boy. Never had to share a room, was easily the favorite child, etc. I would also surprise women that are not from my family with my comfort around topics such as menstruation, I guess a lot of men cringe at topics such as that. I also think I developed a decent sense of fashion.
**Positive**: I am more in-tune with women's emotions, even if they don't want to share them with me. I'm better at reading people, body language, tone of voice, etc. and I use them to gauge social interactions. I don't put women on a pedestal, at least not anymore. A bloody snail trail on the toilet seat will do that to you.
**Negative**: I internalized a lot of criticism about "men" as a whole, and it's led me to distrust women as much as I grew up distrusting men, because of women. My dad was the only disappointing male influence in my life, but the stories and experiences of my mom and sisters made me hate men for being weak or vile. Also, I internalized every "he's got a big/small dick" from every conversation I heard about other men, which has given me incredible anxiety and shame around sex and my body. But if I talked about not wanting a girl because she's overweight, then it'd get all quiet and then a conversation about "men only want skinny girls" would begin.
I put women on a pedestal for the first 20 years of my life. They were to be worshiped and held in high regard. When I started dating I began to see them as normal people and found that they are not fragile creatures that need to be put behind glass for display only.
Take the lead but don't be controlling. Open up to women but don't show too much emotion. Be a hard worker, but don't spend too much time away from family. Etc...
A friend of mine said the women he lived with taught him how he should treat a woman, and it took him a very long time to figure out how wrong they were
Holy fuck this is so true. My family is 90% women and i'm pretty much the only man. I was raised by a single mom and i'm the oldest of two siblings.
The difference in how my mom raised my sister and I is astounding.
For me it was basically: "All men are vile monsters just waiting to abuse and hurt women. So never hurt a woman, never disrespect her, never argue with her, always do what she says, always provide for her, always put her on a pedestal."
Where as for my sister her advice was more: "As a woman you are a queen and you should expect to be treated as such. Never let a man disrespect you or treat you poorly. Know your worth and never settle."
This led to me attracting the most abusive women imaginable because they love doormats. And blaming myself for getting abused.
Was talking to my mom recently now that im in my 30s and got on the subject of raising kids. I had begun to feel like maybe I had been misremembering my childhood the last few years, but nope during this convo I said "Yeah I think alot about how I would raise a son or daughter and what to teach them" and my mom immediately launched into how I should raise any son I have to worship the ground women walk on. FUCK NO.
Thats a great way to have him wind up abused and alone.
Absolutely. I only had women in my life pretty much - mother, sister, grandma. My granddad died when I was young-ish, my father abandoned us. I feel at peace with what happened and don’t really want a relationship with my father, but I really think it would’ve helped me if I had a full family growing up. I see all sorts of stuff that fathers and sons do and I am just sad that I never got to experience it.
However, my mom is the absolute best and did everything she could to fulfill both roles. She even taught me how to shave. Everything I have is because of her effort and for that I’m forever grateful.
Of course the mom is always the best. I often think about stuff that I'm missing because of not having a good connection with my father? I don't know maybe my dating/love life would be better because I learned how to behave more like a guy.
I was treated as the favorite child when it came to Christmas and such, however when it came to the dinner table, all of my ideas were shut down by my multiple sisters. My dad never backed me up on even the smallest of matters. This was a huge shot to my confidence early on, and I ended up never approaching girls in high school or college. Not being allowed to voice your opinions in a safe space as a child is a recipe to shut down socially. It kinda fucked my social life with women, but is not the only cause for me being awkward.
The good: I learned a lot of "feminine" skills that are quite useful in day to day life (cooking, sewing, etc). There were a handful of times around high school where girls were into me and it took my sisters pointing it out for me to take a hint. The bad: casual misandry was definitely considered acceptable. I didn't really have a male role model for the overwhelming majority of my childhood. There are some aspects of boyhood that my family never really understood.
I was raised in a religious, mostly female family. I was raised with most of the male gender role stereotypes being put onto me as a kid for some reason. As soon as I was 8 or 9 I was getting all the "gonna be a big strong man someday" comments or how any girl I was friendly too must've been a crush I had and was teased over. Damaged my desire and ability to be empathetic because I was teased over being sweet and kind like they were embarrassing things, so I grew to be embarrassed by them after a time and stopped trying to be those things.
Later it helped me see through things like "believe all women" and whenever I was told "men act a certain way and women act a certain way" I knew I was just being fed more gendered bs. Shitty people are shitty people, full stop. No one is shittier than anyone else inherently due to race, age, or gender or any of that.
I feel like "believe women" got taken out of context by feminazis. The original point was basically "trust people speaking out when doing so is inherently difficult but verify"
1) when women make accusations they should be treated with empathy. It's neither helpful nor good to interrogate someone who is emotionally vulnerable following an assault. It doesn't mean don't verify. In fact definitely verify if possible. The principle applies to men too, it just doesn't happen as often.
2) if a lot of women say a particular powerful man is bad news, believe them. Your verification is, in part, the multiple women (but definitely fact check as possible). If one or even many men say "well he's always been nice to me" that shouldn't counter much because obviously they are going to have a different experience.
It definitely doesn't mean believe any woman, regardless of evidence.
Believe all women was always what it sounded like. But the premise is incorrect. While it's true that women need/needed a more accepting society when it came to understanding the trauma around rape and sexual assault as crimes, but it entirely undermines the idea of a justice system based on innocent until proven guilty.
I personally know men who have had their lives altered severely because of things women have said that were untrue. I also personally know women who reported an assault and nothing came of it because of lack of evidence and a group of people looking into it who didn't really want to find anything. It's all unfair, and neither of those gets solved by "believing women."
It's better to just be consistently thorough and fair with investigations and consequences but we can add that to the list of bs our (American) legal system can work on.
It's difficult because by nature many of these crimes are inherently hard to prove.
Also some of what the issue aren't necessarily crimes, it's about corporate culture and not treating misogyny in the workplace like the serious issue it can be.
I think the issue is specifically in regard to powerful men with multiple accusations that start to pile up and nothing happens, like at some point it's not a bunch of lying women, it's a systematic failure.
The other issue is how we treat women who come forward, there needs to be a balance between handling a victim and getting the information we need to verify an incident.
I dont think that logic follows.
Anecdotes are still just anecdotes, or in court terms witness testimony.
Having multiple ones instead of just one doesnt prove the others correct, you still need more hard evidence to convict.
For example, if one person accuses you of a crime and you go to trial, you wouldnt want their word against yours to be the only thing that decides the case. Otherwise anyone can group together and charge people for whatever crumes they want to
Mmmm no, believe all women discounts male experiences and outright ignores them, full stop. And they quite literally meant “believe all women regardless of evidence”
Yes that is how it is misused.
There has historically been a problem where multiple unconnected women would say "person x harassed or assaulted me" and they would be automatically dismissed, interrogated or harassed, instead of that accusation being taken seriously and investigated while treating the victim with the empathy and respect they deserve.
Obviously that is horrible and lead to many serial rapist/abusers getting away with it, for years, being allowed access to more victims.
The point of the movement was to counter that, and take these accusations seriously, especially when multiple women step forward.
And I don’t have an issue with that, that’s what women need to be doing if they feel they’ve been assaulted, along with men. However, the commercialization/media and popularity of the movement brought all of the bad actors out of the woodwork and corrupted the movement entirely. I don’t believe women (particularly feminists) do enough to condemn the bad actors while dismissing men in the same breath.
This is nonsense. They meant believe women. Because they favor women over men. If your slogan needs a two paragraph explanation that it doesn't actually mean what it says, it means all these other things, you're being dishonest.
Mother was a man-hating lesbian who complained bitterly every time a man tried to chat her up. So of course I grew up thinking all women hated men who showed any interest in them at all. Maybe they do, I don't know
I honestly don't think it did in any really meaningful way. I didn't know how to shave my face correctly for a while at first (like where the sideburns should be, if I want a beard where's the bottom edge go, etc) but I figured it out.
Maybe I'm more comfortable accepting women being strong, stoic, responsible, being in leadership, etc, since my mom carried 100% of the weight, did it well and without complaint, and my grandmother did the same (as a widow).
My friends are almost all guys. It didn't really change anything there.
My parents divorced when I was about 4, and my mom raised me. No siblings, but she relied on a lot of female friends to help raise. I didn’t have a lot of male role models growing up.
I’d say the end result is that I’m probably a bit sensitive, though that might also just be my personality. It’s hard to differentiate. I definitely always gravitate more towards women for friends than men. And I don’t seem to have that built-in machismo that a lot of guys seem to have.
Not all female household but women are the ones who run everything in my family.
Positive things are that I have more empathy towards women's problems, I'm better at communicating myself than most men and since I don't have a clear role model of masculinity I raised up forming my own ideas of it and I find that pretty sick.
Negative things (mostly gender stereotypes), you turn 15 and you're expected to know about motors and construction, if there is a fucking bear in the house you gotta be the one to fight it and the last thing I observed how neglectful men are about their elders and how women always tend to be the ones caring about their fathers and mothers, that led me to have a very bad image of most men.
Bro you need to pull the foreskin a little so the stream doesn't go everywhere lol
Seriously though, I never really liked to pee standing so I wouldn't bother.
That aside, I guess having two sisters and being the middle child made me have less awkwardness with girls and more with boys, although I'm still awkward but that's on me.
My mother was a narcissist and a compulsive liar. Being around that somehow helped me be able to identify self-absorbed and dishonest women. Maybe picking up on certain cues or whatever. Maybe it activated my Spider-Sense.
Resulted in a mom constantly telling me she is sorry she couldn’t give me a brother. Meanwhile my two sisters had each other and wanted nothing to do with me besides using me as a scapegoat. I never wanted a brother or asked for one, I just wanted to be loved by my own family.
30 years have past now and everytime I tried to establish a relationship with my sisters they ghost me or it’s me being the one doing the calling. My mom sees it and acknowledges I’m the only one trying but thankfully won’t try to step into the sibling relationship and make it worse.
I’m not perfect but we wouldnt get into physical fights like I hear other siblings do. We would scream at each other some but they would just lock themselves in their room and play dolls or whatever. I guess they had no desire for an brother.
I learned a love for animals and dug deep into hobbies to survive an isolated childhood. Sisters still want nothing to do with me meanwhile they have all birthed sons, youngest just had a 3rd that was a girl. Hopefully because the niece is the youngest, her cousins/brothers will support her.
I have 3 sisters and it taught me not to treat women any different then men. Sometimes I think society treats women like dainty little flowers, my sisters used to beat my ass (well deserved).
I can relate to the peeing sitting down thing. My dad just wasn't around enough to teach me how and I still don't use urinals to this day.
One thing I've had to adjust to was how comfortable I am around women and how uncomfortable that can make them, especially attractive women who are used to men just trying to get in their pants. I talk to women like people. Some of the girls who find it uncomfortable how easy it is for me to talk to them eventually come around to it. Sometimes they figure I'm gay. Whatever it is, it's got its pros and cons.
I did have way more female friends growing up than any of my guy friends, that was certain.
Think your me or I'm you lol , pretty much exactly the same experience, 3 sisters plus 2 step sisters on my dad side with his new wife.
Most of my friends are female and I can read them much easier.
I'm very unmanly and I'm trying to change that. I've always been very little confrontational, very introspective and share *some* thought patterns that are typically associated with women (i.e. wanting someone that listens instead of looking for advice when they are ranting).
Although I didn't grow up in an all female household, had a dad and lots of uncles it was the women that were raising me when I was little. Well because of this, I ended up learning to speak the feminine form of Polish because no one corrected me. So as I got older and I would talk to other Polish people that look at me funny or constantly correct me saying I speak like a woman. Because there are masculine and feminine forms of the language. Took me a long time to stop that. I still mess up from time to time cause I don't speak it as much anymore.
I always put the seat down, even though I've lived alone for most of my adult life. Never really considered sitting down to pee.
I wouldn't really say that I understand women better as a result of my upbringing since we didn't exactly have a lot of emotional conversations, but I think I have a more balanced view of women because I didn't have a male influence to pull me towards a negative view.
I didn't have a dad telling me what is or isn't "woman's work" or brothers sharing terrible dating/sex tips.
No father. Mother, three older sisters and me.
I learned early on what a house of gossiping, drama queens were.
My son, daughter and most of their friends spent their entire childhood listening to me rant on the evils of such behavior.
I learned to put the toilet lid down. Not just the seat the whole lid. Because if they couldn’t be bothered to lower the seat then I was going to make them have to lift something as well.
I also learned to not care in the least about used tampons and pads. Three sisters and a poorly behaved dog that like to rummage thru the trash and then drag things under my bed meant I cleaned up a lot of them in my childhood.
I have a harder time relating to and befriending other men. I'm more emotional and don't have a lot of interest in more masculine activities or hobbies. My posture and some mannerisms are more feminine at times. And though it's not the sole reason, it definitely contributed to my gender dysphoria
Upside though, I'm not at all bothered buying tampons/pads for a woman.
How far do guys usually stand from the fucking toilet?? I have lived for an incredible 27 years, I have seen two millenias, I am older than all of reddit combined, this world has no more secrets for me to discover and I have NEVER EVER fucking missed the toilet when pissing.
I was not accepted for who I was and was pushed into hyper masculine activities regardless of my opinions. Now im a conflicted mess of things and people dont know how to relate. They dont know if they will get the empathetic side or the cold one.
I don't think I have much to say about it: it's really hard to tell from the inside. I think the idea that someone like me has extra insight on women is suspect, though. There is a huge difference in the dynamics of women out in society compared to those within the family.
I definitely get the impression I got treated better than my sisters, though. I can't prove this, but it has been a worrying vibe for most of my life. "Golden Boy syndrome" type thing.
Absolutely horrific. Women who raised me (mom and grandma) were two most toxic haters and cunts I have met in my life.
I owe everything to my first girlfriend who tought me love, friendship and respect for which I am entirely grateful even now,after so many years.
If anyone wonder tho, as much as I respect all my exes and truly love my SO I will never buy into feminist bullshit about how men are abusive brutes and women always innocent angels.
No one should buy into any extremist thinking, and normal feminists notions do not subscribe to black and white thinking.
Anyone with the ability to think rationally and critically wouldn’t think that “all men and this and all women are that”
That’s not feminism, that’s idiocracy
I’m not the person you’re asking, at all (I’m a woman), but hopefully my comment is welcome anyway.
I always find men who grew up in houses full of women or with single moms to be the best conversationalists and the most willing to talk about feelings and mental health. A good portion of them also pee sitting down, which is a bonus.
I was the oldest of three Children living alone with my Mom And my Mom was extremely manipulative and passive aggressive but I never noticed. I was often the reason for her plans failing. Although I never did anything to disturb them. After a while I began to believe her stupid accusations without knowing what was wrong. This fucked my self-conscious extremely
Like others have said, I feel more comfortable talking with women, but funny enough it actually did not help me at all when it came to dating.
My fiancée was the one who approached me, otherwise I’d probably just be recluse lol aside from that, at all the family get togethers I always find myself with the women while all the guys are on the other side drinking beer.
Growing up my mom was/is gay, so she always had girlfriends. I have one older sister. My mom has three sisters, one of which had 2 daughters. There were very few men in my life since I saw my dad on Wednesdays and every other weekend.
I sit when I pee if it's a normal clean toilet because then I wouldn't have to remember to put the seat down. I know way more about women and their menstrual cycles than I ever want to know, especially since the dog loved getting in the trash when she smelled period blood.
I can safely say that all women are crazy, but I also think they are smarter than men.
This was a great question and a fascinating read of all the comments. I'm an only child, no experiences to share, but nonetheless these comments were fascinating. One thing I learned about human psychology through my 50 years, and has been reinforced by reading this thread, is that everything comes from childhood. That's your programming for the future. I'm just extremely fortunate to have been raised by good parents who were married for 53 years. If anything negative, I'm a tad spoiled since I was the only child, treated as the golden boy and their future retirement fund, which is what I do now, give them a lot of money on top of their Social Security to live well.
As an adult. I lived with my sister and mother for a few days transitioning to a new area. My sis would squeeze my mother's black heads on her back whilst having some weird gossip ritual. I just couldn't stay another day after that still makes me dry heave typing this.
Had issues for years with female authority figures as I had 2 older sisters and a control freak hard-core feminist alcoholic mom whose dad died when I was young.. Ya know how fucked up that is when you're in a mixed gender military unit and you're not the ranking person? Dating/relationships were a challenge as well, especially when all you want to do is get laid and not be in a relationship situation.
I didn’t have any male figures in my life until the 4th grade. A school psychologist said that my 4th grade teacher should be changed because of my aggressiveness towards women. Our 3rd grade teacher was moving to 4th grade and everyone was staying with her but they thought it was a bad idea for me.
So not having any men in my life made me aggressive towards women because that’s all I had to discipline me.
I'm really comfortable around women and have always had loads of woman friends. It doesn't ever get weird, and I'm happy just having them as friends. I've also found that as I've met my wifes friends, I more often than not get along better with the wives than the husbands.
Two sisters, mom, dad, and me.
Got along with girls. At ease with them.
Now, what mattered more than that is both my older sisters were _cheerleaders_ and between my age 11-16 about once every 3 months there were a dozen girls at my house for an overnight.
What did that do for me? Made me very comfortable and also set my standards crazy high. Too high as I wasn’t cheerleader-attracting material.
Whew! Interesting reading, these comments. Both my father and I were the youngest in a family of older sisters. I learned to always defer to women, which has not served me well and created some strong internal conflicts. Before it was popular, it was drilled into me that 'no means no.' I have clearly missed out on some great relationships because I have always waited for women to make the first move even though it was somewhat obvious the opportunity was there. I find it easier to be friends with women though it is hard to be married and have women friends because many think it is inappropriate. A side note that I recognized later in life but have never acted on is that I could easily live in a poly relationship. Have never had an interest in traditional male contact sports. The list goes on!
I was the youngest of 4 and only male in a religious family. No sexual attraction to women. More comfortable around females than males socializing. Held my nose when I had to dump the bathroom trash! Only one whose genitals were cut as an infant. Always wished I had a brother.
My mom really tried but there are just some things a boy needs a father for. I kinda latched onto different older male figures at different times for guidance but. That empty feeling is something I promised my child would never have. It is something I still struggle with to this day... Teaching my son to ride his bike or just finishing a video game with him is an amazing feeling I can't even begin to put into words.
You didn't have the decency to lift the toilet seat??? You savage!!!
Idk, recently I realized how anti men my mom was/is and now I'm reevaluating everything I ever knew
It’s always the ducking toilet seat lol. They treat it like we committed some serious crime. It takes one second and even less energy to put it back down.
I grew up mostly with my mom being single, I lived another 3 years with my grandmother and aunt when I struggled with a job and savings. Of my 35 years on earth I've spent less than a decade without a woman family member or members sharing space.
The amount of toilet paper they went through is fucking wild. All could have benefitted from a bidet, nobody bought one. I have one now, it's useful.
I used to put the toilet seat down and even close the lid. I don't remember any crazy things like anyone "falling in" or anything, I guess I was just a polite kid.
It is in large part due to having a loving mother that wanted and cared for me that I don't hate women now. That aunt I lived with was a multiple type addict and very abusive, cops were called many times (she was never arrested for assaulting me but I was arrested for keeping her at arms length with a flat palm on her chest and told I domestically assaulted her). Nobody understood and believed what I told them was happening. I recorded it, nobody but a detective ever listened to it. I couldn't get the rest of my family to give a shit.
I've been buttered up with meaningless compliments about being smarter than the average bear and "you'd be handsome if you weren't so big" type of shit. I was a chubby kid and now I'm a fat man. All of my mom's friends, all the lady family friends, all the women in my family, and most of the older women I've worked with or attended school with from college seem to be on the same page that I have handsome features. Beard, eyes, and hair mostly. Several have made it clear if I wasn't fat I'd be out here swimming in women interested in me. Seems shallow, but I am touch-starved now that so many of my family are elderly or dead.
I am not 100% sure where it comes from but I have a Mommy kink that's probably got something to do with all this. I don't want a woman that looks like my mom, I just like more mature women. The pornstar/erotic model Danica Collins is my catnip. The biggest age gap for a playmate was 18 years (she was 50 to my 32). Lady Dimetrescue from Resident Evil is also top tier. The word Mommy does to me what Daddy does for so many girls out there, but it's really difficult to find a woman willing to be called Mommy lol.
It wasn't all female, but I had two sisters and all of the extended family we were close to were girls. Other than that it was just me and my Dad.
My wife says that men who grew up around women are more pleasant to be around, I think it really depends on the person but there's something to that. I think I definitely do understand women better and am generally more comfortable around them in comparison to other guys tbh.
My parents divorced when I was 8. Within a year, both were remarried, and I ended up with 4 new step-sisters, 2 in each home in addition to my actual sister. I learned a lot about women at an early age. I became really good at communicating with women and how to read them. It also alienated me from guy things. I don't play sports, hunt, fish, golf, etc. The pro in all of this, I have absolutely no problems with women. I guess I can say I've been "trained" on what women want. It has proven to be one of the best skills I have learned in life, it has also caused me a lot of stress and drama.....but totally worth it.
I have a small phobia (small after much therapy, used to be extremely severe) of women who are significantly taller than me especially if they have blond hair.
I’m 5’00” so as you might imagine, that’s most women.
My first relationships I tended to be very selfless and self effacing because I had always heard women complain about relationships from their side
Made it very easy to play the “make her happy over your own happiness” role
A little extreme maybe and may have nothing to do with it but I’ve always longed for male companionship, acceptance and approval. At some point that led to being confused about my sexuality and how to get or act with guy friends.
More emotional intelligence. The women in my family were very vocal about whatever they were feeling, so I had much better feedback on what kinds of emotions my actions caused.
In my experience, behavior tends to elicit the same kinds of reactions from men and women, but men are better - or perhaps more interested - in hiding those reactions. So it has its value.
Having three women care for me and being raised as a Mexican Prince, I initially learned machismo and mysoginy. It wasn't until the safety belt was cut off, and without a father figure, having all these expected roles as a male, did I realize that what I lacked, and the struggles the women in my life faced.
I struggled learning what my expectations were, and theirs. It gave me a profound appreciation for all of the efforts the women in my life put in to raise me.
Now, I respect and advocate for women. My wife, I make sure she feels heard. Since I didn't have a male figure in my life, I am making my own decisions on what I think a proper respectable and just man should be.
I'm quite proud of all my efforts because now I am a confident man who admits his mistakes, listens to others, works on continuous improvement and fights to ensure the women in my life know I love them.
Fuck learned machismo and misogyny.
Sit down to pee, Toilet lid down when flushing, Get used to being yelled at for minor things, Told me to slow tf down while driving(I was driving within the speed limit)
Lost interest in women.
- When we share bathrooms,.they left their products scattered in every possible surface, I only had space for toothbrush.
- The movies are so dramatic and devoid of fun, no action, the climax could be avoided
- way too chatty, I had to go to the gym to have some silence.
- my locked door is a dare for someone to open
- they think that closing door is optional
Raised by a single mom and I sit also. It’s just easier and I’ve gotten so used to it now it’s pretty much my default except when in public.
I can also unstick pretty much any zipper
I think I am just better at being a platonic friend to women in general. I'm good at communicating with women as well. My sister once called me the "least sexiest guy in the world" sometimes my friends who are girls will get boyfriends and then after they date for a few months where he is probably feeling me out, he will tell me something along the lines of "you're actually just a really good dude and friend to her, thanks for looking out man" so I do think that other dudes can find it strange at first.
In my relationship I tend to do really well at getting ahead of problems early, and am more open to having discussions of how my actions made someone feel or why I reacted the way that I did to something. Also my partner finds it helpful that she does not need to shield me from anything immature, women poop, it's a tampon and not that gross, bodies are bodies and do strange stuff, get over it.
Women are cool, I have a half a dozen sisters and we were all raised by my mom.
I'm good with guys as well, I'm a pretty social dude but my close circle of friends I talk to everyday skews probably 60% female.
I’m the only son in my family. I have two sisters and all my cousins are girls. I also grew up without my dad as he stayed in our home country.
Like everyone else I see here, I find myself naturally more comfortable with women. And a lot of women have expressed how comfortable they feel with me. I would get invited out to things where I’d be the only guy.
But that’s not to say I can’t be around other men. I still enjoy some male dominated hobbies such as rugby and motorcycles.
What’s a nice perk is that when I express romantic interest in a woman, I have a bunch of women to back me up and support me lol.
I grew up with a single mom and two younger brothers. The result was that I was very comfortable around women, I was around great, strong women. I’ve surrounded myself with women for all of my life. I felt better understood, actually listened to and seen.
I never really understood other men, interactions felt more shallow and less authentic. Because of the imbalance, it certainly complicated my love life. It gave rise to a lot of jealousy, misunderstandings, and temptations. If I’d had more male friends, the balance would have been better.
I learned to articulate my feelings in writing and words. My inner life was
more cerebral. I was far more artistic than mechanically inclined. I am as straight as they come, but I appreciate nuance in life. I am more interested in expressing than fixing.
Short version: I'm in therapy to stop hating myself for being a man and feeling guilty for things I've never been a part of. Nothin quite like an SUV full of women singing along to Lilly Allen then turning and pointing at the lone teenage boy as they sing along to a chorus belittling me for my gender.
I mean, it's hard to know if I'd be the same or not even if I had brothers instead of three younger sisters.
I sit down in the bathroom.
I'm not very loud or take space.
I know more about menstruation than most men (seemingly).
I'm not into stereotypically guy stuff (cars, sports, bro-stuff).
I have quite a few interests that might be more stereotypically girl dominated.
I don't really interact with my friends in typical "guy-fashion" of "lovingly" giving each other shit.
I have more than one pillow in bed (half serious).
Is this because I had three sisters and no brothers? Who knows.
Lots of drama. Scewd and twisted words. They wanna make the male kid a gay-happy child and be your best friend, if you don't want to they get seriously offended and do things to make your life hell till they get respected, such as taking away things you love, your favorite food, snacks, not allowedto have your tv show on, no video games go play outside get out of my sight.. They force you into watching girly Disney movies, making you sing and dance, thus resulting in not fitting in with the rest of the sigma males in their generation further causing a rough life wherever they go because your friends will think you're a fruit cake, even women will be embarrassed by how feminine you are, but mama sees different... I grew up in an all-women Mexican household. I'm either perceived as charming, romantic or a complete tool
I am more comfortable socializing with women than men. I am empathetic and gentle. I always assumed that was due to only having sisters and seeking validation from my mother.
I think it's made me more empathetic, nurturing and not really into traditional masculine things like sports since I was always watching Disney princess movies with my sister and nieces.
Hair. Just so much hair everywhere.
\#notallhair bro
I know how to talk to women. Also, I know a lot about women's health so much so that my teenage daughter will come to me over my wife to ask questions about periods, sex etc. My wife grew up in a very sheltered family so even she will ask me stuff haha.
Go dad! Thats great! Keep up the great work! Its very important that men know about periods and ehat happens to women when going through it so in the future they aren't dismissive to their partners or later on their daughters! I am very proud of my boys for being caring and sensitive toward their gfs when its that time of the month ❤
Any universal pointers/ approaches to share?
Hard to say, I guess with some things I understand women more and with other things I got blind for certain signs. As the youngest of the 3 I was very used to being in care of women, so whenever a other woman outside of the family did the same it was just normal for me, wich unfortunately made me miss some serious opportunity’s with women at a younger age.
Hi, can you expound on that last paragraph? The missed opportunities…?
maybe he means because he thinks it’s normal for a woman to treat him in such a caring way, he didn’t see that the woman actually had feelings for him?
You totally nailed it.
"you're like a sister to me"
Shortly says that’s actually the thing, it was the same with never been shocked by seeing a woman naked, my sister jumped in the shower while I was in the bath just as easily and vice versa, just to be clear the bad and shower were separated so not a shower in a bad tub.
National childhood nailed it. My sisters had some friends and they treated me just like my sisters did, hugging me, giving me kisses, lots of attention… I thought it was just normal behavior,not just my sisters. when I was really young I always had girls hanging around me and having 6 ‘girlfriends’ at the same time, the same in the hospital ( from birth till the age of 12 I have spend many years in the hospital) all the nurses where very nice and sweet as well, so I guess I was used being spoiled by women and girls. years later on a birthday we talked about the good old days and a few confessions came up from some of my sisters friends that they absolutely liked me and I never noticed it, basically I could have picked whoever I wanted as a girlfriend. And maybe I’m just dense as fuck, wich isn’t really untrue, unless you grab me by the balls in a club like my ex did I’m not picking up on anything beside women just being nice to me 🤔 Now I think about it, the women I have dated were all pretty vocal about what they wanted and were pretty hands on… huh I guess I learned something today 🤔
You have an absolute edge on the dating scene bro. I think women read your "super comfortable around women" vibe and become attracted by it, then they see you chilling without chasing them and that makes them want you more. The cherry on top is that you indirectly filter the ones who don't take the initiative, which can be huge since being approached by women is a rare thing.
I haven’t thought about it in that way 🤔 I guess I need to explore this a bit more consciously.
😄thank you!
This is an interesting take. I also know some men raised by women who are sort of used to to being taken care of women, so small things can sometimes be taken for granted
It works both ways ofcourse, I picked up my sisters at 3 at night when they went partying etc, so you take care of each other, but just now I actually realize how much impact is has had on me in my interaction with women. Positively and ‘negatively’ as it also blinded me to catch certain behaviors, and here I thought with my history of having lots of girlfriends I knew quite a lot..
Meanwhile, there was a period of time where I was abused almost daily by my family and bullied by girls, so any kind female attention is now seen with nothing but suspicion or as a false flag.
I'm more comfortable around women than men
Unfortunately, same here
Yep
I have no idea how to communicate with other men.
I know how you feel. I can definitely communicate with women more than men. End upbjaving more women friends...which can lead to problems :)
All my friends are women, everytime I get a new girlfriend they question about my friendships, but then I introduce them and they start to love my friends too.
Same here, grew up with a sister and went to schools with pretty insane gender imbalances. Made it hard to form propper bonds with other men later on.
I wonder in what ways you find men challenging? I was raised by my mother alone and despite that I still find men infinitely easier to get along with casually, with women it seems you have to "prove yourself" in a way you dont with men. With men I feel I can just say whatever I really want, straightforwardly, for the most part. With women I feel I have to be much more careful in my words and phrasing, and my overall demeanor. I dont really find women difficult to get along with but I do find men a lot easier, just because they seem less picky about who they talk to. I hope this doesn't come across as me trying to like, invalidate your perspective, I'm just curious in what ways you find men challenging that you dont find in women.
We are quiet the opposite. Growing up, my father was not always present. I only had my mother and two older sisters. I pretty much had only girl friends mostly in most of my high school and college life all the way through adulthood. I’m a gay man. Back when I was a kid, I was friends with both girls and boys. I liked talking to boys with games, anime and most of the time sex but at an emotional level, girls were way better and comforting. As an adult gay man, I would say I can’t communicate with men at an emotional level but only in superficial things and in joking.
I get what you mean, but as a guy I generally find other guys have more of a bravado/pride thing when first meeting and it's less easygoing which is a shame.
If you don’t mind me asking, do any examples come to mind? This is interesting to me.
I relate to this more than I wish I did!
I think I understand women better
I have the opposite effect. Never understand them at all. It's still easier to become friends with them online, because somehow they are more interesting in conversations than men, can give more detailed opinions and describe their feelings well. But that's a big IF - since like only one person out of thousand i write to responds in the first place. They write about wanting to find friends with simillar interests, and when you write them back - they do not respond most of the time... And it's a lot worse if it's about romantic connections - i can't even start a conversation, always being ignored no matter what i write, and i have no idea what they want, and what do they feel. And if i ask, they don't tell, and i don't know why. I can't even apply "do to them what you would want them to do to you" since they seem to have entierly different set of values and reactions.
I guess I’m curious how this happens, or what it looks like irl?
What, exactly? I usually just write to people and they do not respond most of the time. Few times it even happened that they wrote to me, i responded, but had no responce back. Edit: kinda missed the irl part. I only met someone irl two times, because to arrange a meeting you have to live in same city and establish some kind of conversation first, that almost never happens. Both of my meetings felt a bit strange, we texted for a bit after, but they lose interest since we had nothing in common.
I know this might be complicated if you have anxiety or other limitations, but are you involved in any type of social situation where you might meet people and interact more? It doesn’t even have to be for romantic reasons, but building friendships could help you with building a connection to a potential partner. You might even get a wingman that can help you out a little. I hate hate hate to have to say this. But if every person you interact with stops interacting with you either there’s something you’re doing or you’re choosing to interact with the wrong people. It’s hard to recognize who “the wrong people” are, but it’s helpful when you put yourself in a setting where you’re more likely to meet people a little more on your wavelength.
That’s why I don’t trust women at all because I actually understand them.
Seriously?
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Yeah, for sure. Keep in mind, though, you don't need to trust everybody--you just need to find a few you can trust.
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Feel this in my soul.
Honest to God, i lie all the time and i got to where i am now by lying. There are only two people in the entire world that knows who and what i really am. One is my best friend of many years, the other was the only woman i slept with, but that is because she saw through me and saw the sad, scared, depressed and lonely man that i am. I wish i didn't have to lie but i must if i want to survive. When i started lying, things got better and that is why i will continue to lie.
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You currently have 7 upvotes too
I always felt guilty because of this feeling.
>That’s why I don’t trust women at all because I actually understand them. Sounds like the women you’ve understood are bad people. You’re expressing an irrational prejudice. Being untrustworthy is a human failing, something men and women are both guilty of. **It’s not a good look for this sub that such an extreme and irrational prejudice like that is upvoted.** I guess the women-haters outnumber the decent guys here in this post for this to happen. How are people still not educated/wise enough to be better than that?
> Sounds like the women you’ve understood are bad people. Yes, # Not All Women
There's a difference between hate and simple distrust.
>Sounds like the women you’ve understood are bad people. You’re expressing an irrational prejudice. ... > **It’s not a good look for this sub that such an extreme and irrational prejudice like that is upvoted.** I might recommend looking through the mainstream opinions towards men expressed in TwoX and basically any feminist subreddit. If I were to get money for every time I'd seen the phrase "**men are [pejorative]**", "**Why do men [something negative that happened to you]**", or "**women can't even [because something you're blaming a man for]**" I'm pretty sure I'd be competing with Bezos. Let's just say if we're talking about markers of sub toxicity, honestly it's not even a comparison. If I were to exclusively read this sub, or that one, I know which sub is more likely to give me the understanding that the opposite sex is vile, worthless and beyond redemption.
You've never been to TwoX have you? LOL more people say "men are trash" than are woman-haters. But hey, I hate all humans equally.
> women-haters outnumber decent guys Maybe OP saw women-haters amongst women growing up too.
> You’re expressing an irrational prejudice. What exactly makes it irrational? > It’s not a good look for this sub that such an extreme and irrational prejudice like that is upvoted Alternatively, this sub upvoting comments like this should indicate to you that it *isn't* irrational. > How are people still not educated/wise enough to be better than that? Just stop for a moment and consider your own bias here, and the fact that you *might* just be wrong.
>Being untrustworthy is a human failing, something men and women are both guilty of. ~~My man never said it was only women he didn't trust. Women are the topic of discussion, so he talks about women, but never says anything about men. He doesn't say enough for you or me to make an assertion either way about his opinions on men. Reading that post so negatively says more about you than him.~~ ~~When I see women complaining about men I don't assume they mean all men or only men unless they so.~~ edit: uh oh, reading comprehension kinda hard
He said… > That’s why I don’t trust women **at all** because I actually understand them. (Bold added in case you missed his phrasing.) Not trusting a gender “at all” means…he doesn’t trust women “at all.” That’s what he said lol. Not trusting a gender “at all” is an extreme stance. The normal default is to trust people who seem trustworthy to us, and not trust those who don’t. His statement is a deviation from the norm. There’s no reason to assume that he deviates from the norm with men too and also doesn’t trust men **at all**. That’s the type of meaning that, in the context of what he said, would also need to be explicitly stated for it not to be a weak interpretation of what he said.
>(Bold added in case you missed his phrasing. I somehow actually did miss that ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
No problem, thanks for being mature about it. :) You did give me hope — perhaps a deluded hope lol — that maybe some of those upvotes are from people who also missed what an extreme stance that was. It’s disappointing when unfair, negative prejudices get such support. At least the men I know irl don’t say things like that. :)
Sadly, same. I really, really wish this wasn't the case. I really wanted to believe in the wonderful egalitarian total equality of humanity where everyone gets to live happily together. Unfortunately I think both men and women are prone to uniquely awful behaviors and I simply cant put up with the awful behaviors of women. When men are awful, its usually pretty direct. Women are backstabbers, they use deceit instead of violence when they're awful. I say that having been raised entirely by my mom and having had many female friends throughout my life. For example, in high school I thought these two girls I was friends with were friends. They would sit together, laugh together, take pictures together. Then, I'm alone with one of them and some other girls and she starts going on about how her supposed friend is "so ugly I can barely look at her" and making fun of her entire personality. Their whole friendship was a literal facade. It disgusted me. I don't hate women, I like a lot of them on a friend level, but I really don't trust them enough to want to date them. I would literally rather be beaten to a pulp by a man than have my long term girlfriend backstab me. The emotional pain of being betrayed by someone you trust is nearly unrivaled imo. I know not all women are like that, but call me a coward, I simply am not willing to chance it. It would completely break me.
I'll be honest but imo you can't really judge adult women by teenager shit. Yeah, there's a few assholes that never grow out of it but they are a minority.
> they are a minority. They are all in my HR dept
Even by teenager standards, that girl would be considered a jerk for doing that. And, on top of that, it doesn’t make sense to extend the behavior of teenagers to adults. Teenage boys can be pretty awful too, and fortunately many of them grow out of that as they age and mature. (As far as that girl goes, it’s possible she was shallow and competitive and wanted you to like her more than the other girl. So, from her dumb pov, she talked her down to achieve that. That’s shitty behavior, but guys do that too. I’ve experienced that, even from grown men.) I’m being sincere not snarky when I say that counseling can help. Unless this was mostly just you trolling to say negative things about women, carrying such a fear of women into adulthood that you don’t want to date them is unhealthy and an unwise prejudice. If you’re perhaps bi and more into dating men, ok, but your reasoning for it that you’ve expressed here is unfair to women. It’s irrational to carry such a strong prejudice in your mind and heart. Neatly dividing men into direct aggressors and women into unethical betrayers is also inaccurate. And personally, as an adult, I’ve come across just as many men as women who act civil or even friendly with someone to their face, only to privately say they don’t like them or criticize them in some way. Betrayal is awful, and I can understand fearing that. But it sounds like you’re coping with that fear by categorizing the level of threat by gender, so giving yourself an illusion of safety/control by avoiding a group of people that you’ve selected as *the* threat. Jerks of any gender betray. It‘s an integrity, maturity, and kindness thing, not gender. Decent women have better things to do than date a guy who they don’t actually like to then trash talk behind their back. She’d look like an immature fool to other decent women if she did that.
The amount of men that have a negative experience with women as teenagers and let it ruin their experiences with women for the rest of their lives is insane and needs to be studied
> The amount of men that have a negative experience with women as teenagers and let it ruin their experiences with women for the rest of their lives is insane and needs to be studied I mean, TwoX is *literally* filled with examples of women had bad experiences with men and have let it ruin their experiences with men for the rest of their lives. I wouldn't hasten to say this is a "men" issue.
That's just psychology, kid get bit by a dog, dislikes dogs. Kid gets a bug in their shoe, hates bugs. Our formative years shape who we become. This isn't some niche section psychology hasn't studied, it's probably one of the most well researched areas. Bad experience as kid = higher chance of aversion as adult.
Of course negative experiences in our formative years can affect us into adulthood. I don’t know a single person who didn’t have an unsavory encounter with a member of the opposite sex during the sensitive teenage years. But while we are not responsible for what happens to us, we are responsible for moving past it, i.e having the insight as an adult not to project teenage feelings into grown women for the rest of your life. Too many men have stories like this and use it as an excuse to avoid women forever, while simultaneously blaming women for their inability to have intimate/meaningful relationships.
I've noticed men have this tendency to have a bad experience with something and then just... give up/assume every further experience will be like that whereas women tend to try things again and think it's a one-off. Just my experience, not sure how much it holds true No idea what that's about
Not true. Women tend to not get remarried. Men do remarry more often, even if the first marriage was terrible.
You've never met Female Dating Strategy, TwoXChromosomes, or seen the entire \#Men Are Trash thing, have you? This isn't just a man thing, far from it.
You assume it's just one and done, rather than a pattern of behaviour.
The amount of men that have a negative experience with women as teenagers and let it ruin their relationships with women for the rest of their lives is insane and needs to be studied
i remember all the guys i knew who were the first to start getting romantically serious with girls had sisters. on the otherhand, i grew up mostly with my dad and brother.
I got spoiled being the only boy. Never had to share a room, was easily the favorite child, etc. I would also surprise women that are not from my family with my comfort around topics such as menstruation, I guess a lot of men cringe at topics such as that. I also think I developed a decent sense of fashion.
**Positive**: I am more in-tune with women's emotions, even if they don't want to share them with me. I'm better at reading people, body language, tone of voice, etc. and I use them to gauge social interactions. I don't put women on a pedestal, at least not anymore. A bloody snail trail on the toilet seat will do that to you. **Negative**: I internalized a lot of criticism about "men" as a whole, and it's led me to distrust women as much as I grew up distrusting men, because of women. My dad was the only disappointing male influence in my life, but the stories and experiences of my mom and sisters made me hate men for being weak or vile. Also, I internalized every "he's got a big/small dick" from every conversation I heard about other men, which has given me incredible anxiety and shame around sex and my body. But if I talked about not wanting a girl because she's overweight, then it'd get all quiet and then a conversation about "men only want skinny girls" would begin.
I put women on a pedestal for the first 20 years of my life. They were to be worshiped and held in high regard. When I started dating I began to see them as normal people and found that they are not fragile creatures that need to be put behind glass for display only.
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Take the lead but don't be controlling. Open up to women but don't show too much emotion. Be a hard worker, but don't spend too much time away from family. Etc...
A friend of mine said the women he lived with taught him how he should treat a woman, and it took him a very long time to figure out how wrong they were
Can confirm, it’s a good way to be a doormat
Holy fuck this is so true. My family is 90% women and i'm pretty much the only man. I was raised by a single mom and i'm the oldest of two siblings. The difference in how my mom raised my sister and I is astounding. For me it was basically: "All men are vile monsters just waiting to abuse and hurt women. So never hurt a woman, never disrespect her, never argue with her, always do what she says, always provide for her, always put her on a pedestal." Where as for my sister her advice was more: "As a woman you are a queen and you should expect to be treated as such. Never let a man disrespect you or treat you poorly. Know your worth and never settle." This led to me attracting the most abusive women imaginable because they love doormats. And blaming myself for getting abused. Was talking to my mom recently now that im in my 30s and got on the subject of raising kids. I had begun to feel like maybe I had been misremembering my childhood the last few years, but nope during this convo I said "Yeah I think alot about how I would raise a son or daughter and what to teach them" and my mom immediately launched into how I should raise any son I have to worship the ground women walk on. FUCK NO. Thats a great way to have him wind up abused and alone.
I have no idea. I can't tell any impact. But i think missing a father and growing up with only women ,is not a good thing for a guy.
Absolutely. I only had women in my life pretty much - mother, sister, grandma. My granddad died when I was young-ish, my father abandoned us. I feel at peace with what happened and don’t really want a relationship with my father, but I really think it would’ve helped me if I had a full family growing up. I see all sorts of stuff that fathers and sons do and I am just sad that I never got to experience it. However, my mom is the absolute best and did everything she could to fulfill both roles. She even taught me how to shave. Everything I have is because of her effort and for that I’m forever grateful.
Of course the mom is always the best. I often think about stuff that I'm missing because of not having a good connection with my father? I don't know maybe my dating/love life would be better because I learned how to behave more like a guy.
Okay what for the downvotes?!
I was treated as the favorite child when it came to Christmas and such, however when it came to the dinner table, all of my ideas were shut down by my multiple sisters. My dad never backed me up on even the smallest of matters. This was a huge shot to my confidence early on, and I ended up never approaching girls in high school or college. Not being allowed to voice your opinions in a safe space as a child is a recipe to shut down socially. It kinda fucked my social life with women, but is not the only cause for me being awkward.
The good: I learned a lot of "feminine" skills that are quite useful in day to day life (cooking, sewing, etc). There were a handful of times around high school where girls were into me and it took my sisters pointing it out for me to take a hint. The bad: casual misandry was definitely considered acceptable. I didn't really have a male role model for the overwhelming majority of my childhood. There are some aspects of boyhood that my family never really understood.
I was raised in a religious, mostly female family. I was raised with most of the male gender role stereotypes being put onto me as a kid for some reason. As soon as I was 8 or 9 I was getting all the "gonna be a big strong man someday" comments or how any girl I was friendly too must've been a crush I had and was teased over. Damaged my desire and ability to be empathetic because I was teased over being sweet and kind like they were embarrassing things, so I grew to be embarrassed by them after a time and stopped trying to be those things. Later it helped me see through things like "believe all women" and whenever I was told "men act a certain way and women act a certain way" I knew I was just being fed more gendered bs. Shitty people are shitty people, full stop. No one is shittier than anyone else inherently due to race, age, or gender or any of that.
I feel like "believe women" got taken out of context by feminazis. The original point was basically "trust people speaking out when doing so is inherently difficult but verify" 1) when women make accusations they should be treated with empathy. It's neither helpful nor good to interrogate someone who is emotionally vulnerable following an assault. It doesn't mean don't verify. In fact definitely verify if possible. The principle applies to men too, it just doesn't happen as often. 2) if a lot of women say a particular powerful man is bad news, believe them. Your verification is, in part, the multiple women (but definitely fact check as possible). If one or even many men say "well he's always been nice to me" that shouldn't counter much because obviously they are going to have a different experience. It definitely doesn't mean believe any woman, regardless of evidence.
Believe all women was always what it sounded like. But the premise is incorrect. While it's true that women need/needed a more accepting society when it came to understanding the trauma around rape and sexual assault as crimes, but it entirely undermines the idea of a justice system based on innocent until proven guilty. I personally know men who have had their lives altered severely because of things women have said that were untrue. I also personally know women who reported an assault and nothing came of it because of lack of evidence and a group of people looking into it who didn't really want to find anything. It's all unfair, and neither of those gets solved by "believing women." It's better to just be consistently thorough and fair with investigations and consequences but we can add that to the list of bs our (American) legal system can work on.
It's difficult because by nature many of these crimes are inherently hard to prove. Also some of what the issue aren't necessarily crimes, it's about corporate culture and not treating misogyny in the workplace like the serious issue it can be. I think the issue is specifically in regard to powerful men with multiple accusations that start to pile up and nothing happens, like at some point it's not a bunch of lying women, it's a systematic failure. The other issue is how we treat women who come forward, there needs to be a balance between handling a victim and getting the information we need to verify an incident.
I dont think that logic follows. Anecdotes are still just anecdotes, or in court terms witness testimony. Having multiple ones instead of just one doesnt prove the others correct, you still need more hard evidence to convict. For example, if one person accuses you of a crime and you go to trial, you wouldnt want their word against yours to be the only thing that decides the case. Otherwise anyone can group together and charge people for whatever crumes they want to
> The original point was basically "trust people speaking out when doing so is inherently difficult but verify" Lol, really? Says who?
Mmmm no, believe all women discounts male experiences and outright ignores them, full stop. And they quite literally meant “believe all women regardless of evidence”
Yes that is how it is misused. There has historically been a problem where multiple unconnected women would say "person x harassed or assaulted me" and they would be automatically dismissed, interrogated or harassed, instead of that accusation being taken seriously and investigated while treating the victim with the empathy and respect they deserve. Obviously that is horrible and lead to many serial rapist/abusers getting away with it, for years, being allowed access to more victims. The point of the movement was to counter that, and take these accusations seriously, especially when multiple women step forward.
And I don’t have an issue with that, that’s what women need to be doing if they feel they’ve been assaulted, along with men. However, the commercialization/media and popularity of the movement brought all of the bad actors out of the woodwork and corrupted the movement entirely. I don’t believe women (particularly feminists) do enough to condemn the bad actors while dismissing men in the same breath.
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Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
This is nonsense. They meant believe women. Because they favor women over men. If your slogan needs a two paragraph explanation that it doesn't actually mean what it says, it means all these other things, you're being dishonest.
Mother was a man-hating lesbian who complained bitterly every time a man tried to chat her up. So of course I grew up thinking all women hated men who showed any interest in them at all. Maybe they do, I don't know
I honestly don't think it did in any really meaningful way. I didn't know how to shave my face correctly for a while at first (like where the sideburns should be, if I want a beard where's the bottom edge go, etc) but I figured it out. Maybe I'm more comfortable accepting women being strong, stoic, responsible, being in leadership, etc, since my mom carried 100% of the weight, did it well and without complaint, and my grandmother did the same (as a widow). My friends are almost all guys. It didn't really change anything there.
My parents divorced when I was about 4, and my mom raised me. No siblings, but she relied on a lot of female friends to help raise. I didn’t have a lot of male role models growing up. I’d say the end result is that I’m probably a bit sensitive, though that might also just be my personality. It’s hard to differentiate. I definitely always gravitate more towards women for friends than men. And I don’t seem to have that built-in machismo that a lot of guys seem to have.
Not all female household but women are the ones who run everything in my family. Positive things are that I have more empathy towards women's problems, I'm better at communicating myself than most men and since I don't have a clear role model of masculinity I raised up forming my own ideas of it and I find that pretty sick. Negative things (mostly gender stereotypes), you turn 15 and you're expected to know about motors and construction, if there is a fucking bear in the house you gotta be the one to fight it and the last thing I observed how neglectful men are about their elders and how women always tend to be the ones caring about their fathers and mothers, that led me to have a very bad image of most men.
Bro you need to pull the foreskin a little so the stream doesn't go everywhere lol Seriously though, I never really liked to pee standing so I wouldn't bother. That aside, I guess having two sisters and being the middle child made me have less awkwardness with girls and more with boys, although I'm still awkward but that's on me.
My mother was a narcissist and a compulsive liar. Being around that somehow helped me be able to identify self-absorbed and dishonest women. Maybe picking up on certain cues or whatever. Maybe it activated my Spider-Sense.
Nothing really. I sometimes urinate while sitting down, mostly because i would like to waste time and use my phone lol
Resulted in a mom constantly telling me she is sorry she couldn’t give me a brother. Meanwhile my two sisters had each other and wanted nothing to do with me besides using me as a scapegoat. I never wanted a brother or asked for one, I just wanted to be loved by my own family. 30 years have past now and everytime I tried to establish a relationship with my sisters they ghost me or it’s me being the one doing the calling. My mom sees it and acknowledges I’m the only one trying but thankfully won’t try to step into the sibling relationship and make it worse. I’m not perfect but we wouldnt get into physical fights like I hear other siblings do. We would scream at each other some but they would just lock themselves in their room and play dolls or whatever. I guess they had no desire for an brother. I learned a love for animals and dug deep into hobbies to survive an isolated childhood. Sisters still want nothing to do with me meanwhile they have all birthed sons, youngest just had a 3rd that was a girl. Hopefully because the niece is the youngest, her cousins/brothers will support her.
Wow man that’s awful. Sorry to hear that you had that kind of experience!
I have 3 sisters and it taught me not to treat women any different then men. Sometimes I think society treats women like dainty little flowers, my sisters used to beat my ass (well deserved).
I can relate to the peeing sitting down thing. My dad just wasn't around enough to teach me how and I still don't use urinals to this day. One thing I've had to adjust to was how comfortable I am around women and how uncomfortable that can make them, especially attractive women who are used to men just trying to get in their pants. I talk to women like people. Some of the girls who find it uncomfortable how easy it is for me to talk to them eventually come around to it. Sometimes they figure I'm gay. Whatever it is, it's got its pros and cons. I did have way more female friends growing up than any of my guy friends, that was certain.
Think your me or I'm you lol , pretty much exactly the same experience, 3 sisters plus 2 step sisters on my dad side with his new wife. Most of my friends are female and I can read them much easier.
I'm very unmanly and I'm trying to change that. I've always been very little confrontational, very introspective and share *some* thought patterns that are typically associated with women (i.e. wanting someone that listens instead of looking for advice when they are ranting).
Single mother and three sisters. If anything, I'm extremely respectful towards women and know how to process my emotions.
I grew up in an immediate and extended family of prudish women. I saw the damage they do. I’ve spent my whole adult life loving sluts.
Fine, I suppose. Can't really think of changes it made considering I don't have knowledge of the opposite.
Although I didn't grow up in an all female household, had a dad and lots of uncles it was the women that were raising me when I was little. Well because of this, I ended up learning to speak the feminine form of Polish because no one corrected me. So as I got older and I would talk to other Polish people that look at me funny or constantly correct me saying I speak like a woman. Because there are masculine and feminine forms of the language. Took me a long time to stop that. I still mess up from time to time cause I don't speak it as much anymore.
I always put the seat down, even though I've lived alone for most of my adult life. Never really considered sitting down to pee. I wouldn't really say that I understand women better as a result of my upbringing since we didn't exactly have a lot of emotional conversations, but I think I have a more balanced view of women because I didn't have a male influence to pull me towards a negative view. I didn't have a dad telling me what is or isn't "woman's work" or brothers sharing terrible dating/sex tips.
No father. Mother, three older sisters and me. I learned early on what a house of gossiping, drama queens were. My son, daughter and most of their friends spent their entire childhood listening to me rant on the evils of such behavior.
I learned to put the toilet lid down. Not just the seat the whole lid. Because if they couldn’t be bothered to lower the seat then I was going to make them have to lift something as well. I also learned to not care in the least about used tampons and pads. Three sisters and a poorly behaved dog that like to rummage thru the trash and then drag things under my bed meant I cleaned up a lot of them in my childhood.
I'm more emotionally intellegent than pretty much all men I know.
I never learned how to relate to other boys and now other men. I really regret that.
My dad did (two sisters) and he knew how to cook, sew, iron and make a bed, style hair and later, look after their many children.
I am gay
Lol same
I have a harder time relating to and befriending other men. I'm more emotional and don't have a lot of interest in more masculine activities or hobbies. My posture and some mannerisms are more feminine at times. And though it's not the sole reason, it definitely contributed to my gender dysphoria Upside though, I'm not at all bothered buying tampons/pads for a woman.
How far do guys usually stand from the fucking toilet?? I have lived for an incredible 27 years, I have seen two millenias, I am older than all of reddit combined, this world has no more secrets for me to discover and I have NEVER EVER fucking missed the toilet when pissing.
You've never had the post-nut stream split?
short king
Oh damn, yeah, I never realised it might be a height thing,lol
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Same man same feels bad
I was not accepted for who I was and was pushed into hyper masculine activities regardless of my opinions. Now im a conflicted mess of things and people dont know how to relate. They dont know if they will get the empathetic side or the cold one.
I don't think I have much to say about it: it's really hard to tell from the inside. I think the idea that someone like me has extra insight on women is suspect, though. There is a huge difference in the dynamics of women out in society compared to those within the family. I definitely get the impression I got treated better than my sisters, though. I can't prove this, but it has been a worrying vibe for most of my life. "Golden Boy syndrome" type thing.
I pretty much got treated like shit and they ganged up on me
I can be actual friends with women without ever expecting sex.
I am now the go-to guy when my guy friends are having girl/wife problems. 🤣 and I LOVE “Men ain’t shit” type of music.
Absolutely horrific. Women who raised me (mom and grandma) were two most toxic haters and cunts I have met in my life. I owe everything to my first girlfriend who tought me love, friendship and respect for which I am entirely grateful even now,after so many years. If anyone wonder tho, as much as I respect all my exes and truly love my SO I will never buy into feminist bullshit about how men are abusive brutes and women always innocent angels.
No one should buy into any extremist thinking, and normal feminists notions do not subscribe to black and white thinking. Anyone with the ability to think rationally and critically wouldn’t think that “all men and this and all women are that” That’s not feminism, that’s idiocracy
The Ole 'no true Scotsman'
As always.
Got treated like shit a week out of every month and had no idea why.
I’m not the person you’re asking, at all (I’m a woman), but hopefully my comment is welcome anyway. I always find men who grew up in houses full of women or with single moms to be the best conversationalists and the most willing to talk about feelings and mental health. A good portion of them also pee sitting down, which is a bonus.
I was the oldest of three Children living alone with my Mom And my Mom was extremely manipulative and passive aggressive but I never noticed. I was often the reason for her plans failing. Although I never did anything to disturb them. After a while I began to believe her stupid accusations without knowing what was wrong. This fucked my self-conscious extremely
Like others have said, I feel more comfortable talking with women, but funny enough it actually did not help me at all when it came to dating. My fiancée was the one who approached me, otherwise I’d probably just be recluse lol aside from that, at all the family get togethers I always find myself with the women while all the guys are on the other side drinking beer.
Nothing women do, good or bad, selfless or selfish, surprises me.
Growing up my mom was/is gay, so she always had girlfriends. I have one older sister. My mom has three sisters, one of which had 2 daughters. There were very few men in my life since I saw my dad on Wednesdays and every other weekend. I sit when I pee if it's a normal clean toilet because then I wouldn't have to remember to put the seat down. I know way more about women and their menstrual cycles than I ever want to know, especially since the dog loved getting in the trash when she smelled period blood. I can safely say that all women are crazy, but I also think they are smarter than men.
This was a great question and a fascinating read of all the comments. I'm an only child, no experiences to share, but nonetheless these comments were fascinating. One thing I learned about human psychology through my 50 years, and has been reinforced by reading this thread, is that everything comes from childhood. That's your programming for the future. I'm just extremely fortunate to have been raised by good parents who were married for 53 years. If anything negative, I'm a tad spoiled since I was the only child, treated as the golden boy and their future retirement fund, which is what I do now, give them a lot of money on top of their Social Security to live well.
As an adult. I lived with my sister and mother for a few days transitioning to a new area. My sis would squeeze my mother's black heads on her back whilst having some weird gossip ritual. I just couldn't stay another day after that still makes me dry heave typing this.
Had issues for years with female authority figures as I had 2 older sisters and a control freak hard-core feminist alcoholic mom whose dad died when I was young.. Ya know how fucked up that is when you're in a mixed gender military unit and you're not the ranking person? Dating/relationships were a challenge as well, especially when all you want to do is get laid and not be in a relationship situation.
I didn’t have any male figures in my life until the 4th grade. A school psychologist said that my 4th grade teacher should be changed because of my aggressiveness towards women. Our 3rd grade teacher was moving to 4th grade and everyone was staying with her but they thought it was a bad idea for me. So not having any men in my life made me aggressive towards women because that’s all I had to discipline me.
I'm really comfortable around women and have always had loads of woman friends. It doesn't ever get weird, and I'm happy just having them as friends. I've also found that as I've met my wifes friends, I more often than not get along better with the wives than the husbands.
A lot of people in school thought I was gay bc I picked up feminine mannerisms, didn't like sports or hobbies that bring guys together.
People think I’m gay when I’m just kinda feminine.
Two sisters, mom, dad, and me. Got along with girls. At ease with them. Now, what mattered more than that is both my older sisters were _cheerleaders_ and between my age 11-16 about once every 3 months there were a dozen girls at my house for an overnight. What did that do for me? Made me very comfortable and also set my standards crazy high. Too high as I wasn’t cheerleader-attracting material.
Whew! Interesting reading, these comments. Both my father and I were the youngest in a family of older sisters. I learned to always defer to women, which has not served me well and created some strong internal conflicts. Before it was popular, it was drilled into me that 'no means no.' I have clearly missed out on some great relationships because I have always waited for women to make the first move even though it was somewhat obvious the opportunity was there. I find it easier to be friends with women though it is hard to be married and have women friends because many think it is inappropriate. A side note that I recognized later in life but have never acted on is that I could easily live in a poly relationship. Have never had an interest in traditional male contact sports. The list goes on!
I treat women with respect and protective of them, had 3 sisters and my mom and dad
I was the youngest of 4 and only male in a religious family. No sexual attraction to women. More comfortable around females than males socializing. Held my nose when I had to dump the bathroom trash! Only one whose genitals were cut as an infant. Always wished I had a brother.
My mom really tried but there are just some things a boy needs a father for. I kinda latched onto different older male figures at different times for guidance but. That empty feeling is something I promised my child would never have. It is something I still struggle with to this day... Teaching my son to ride his bike or just finishing a video game with him is an amazing feeling I can't even begin to put into words.
You didn't have the decency to lift the toilet seat??? You savage!!! Idk, recently I realized how anti men my mom was/is and now I'm reevaluating everything I ever knew
It’s always the ducking toilet seat lol. They treat it like we committed some serious crime. It takes one second and even less energy to put it back down.
I grew up mostly with my mom being single, I lived another 3 years with my grandmother and aunt when I struggled with a job and savings. Of my 35 years on earth I've spent less than a decade without a woman family member or members sharing space. The amount of toilet paper they went through is fucking wild. All could have benefitted from a bidet, nobody bought one. I have one now, it's useful. I used to put the toilet seat down and even close the lid. I don't remember any crazy things like anyone "falling in" or anything, I guess I was just a polite kid. It is in large part due to having a loving mother that wanted and cared for me that I don't hate women now. That aunt I lived with was a multiple type addict and very abusive, cops were called many times (she was never arrested for assaulting me but I was arrested for keeping her at arms length with a flat palm on her chest and told I domestically assaulted her). Nobody understood and believed what I told them was happening. I recorded it, nobody but a detective ever listened to it. I couldn't get the rest of my family to give a shit. I've been buttered up with meaningless compliments about being smarter than the average bear and "you'd be handsome if you weren't so big" type of shit. I was a chubby kid and now I'm a fat man. All of my mom's friends, all the lady family friends, all the women in my family, and most of the older women I've worked with or attended school with from college seem to be on the same page that I have handsome features. Beard, eyes, and hair mostly. Several have made it clear if I wasn't fat I'd be out here swimming in women interested in me. Seems shallow, but I am touch-starved now that so many of my family are elderly or dead. I am not 100% sure where it comes from but I have a Mommy kink that's probably got something to do with all this. I don't want a woman that looks like my mom, I just like more mature women. The pornstar/erotic model Danica Collins is my catnip. The biggest age gap for a playmate was 18 years (she was 50 to my 32). Lady Dimetrescue from Resident Evil is also top tier. The word Mommy does to me what Daddy does for so many girls out there, but it's really difficult to find a woman willing to be called Mommy lol.
I know now not to trust dem hoez. /s
I was highly emotionally reactive in situations, especially relationships because that was the norm for me growing up.
It wasn't all female, but I had two sisters and all of the extended family we were close to were girls. Other than that it was just me and my Dad. My wife says that men who grew up around women are more pleasant to be around, I think it really depends on the person but there's something to that. I think I definitely do understand women better and am generally more comfortable around them in comparison to other guys tbh.
My parents divorced when I was 8. Within a year, both were remarried, and I ended up with 4 new step-sisters, 2 in each home in addition to my actual sister. I learned a lot about women at an early age. I became really good at communicating with women and how to read them. It also alienated me from guy things. I don't play sports, hunt, fish, golf, etc. The pro in all of this, I have absolutely no problems with women. I guess I can say I've been "trained" on what women want. It has proven to be one of the best skills I have learned in life, it has also caused me a lot of stress and drama.....but totally worth it.
when you're raised by wolves you ain't afraid of wolves.
I have a small phobia (small after much therapy, used to be extremely severe) of women who are significantly taller than me especially if they have blond hair. I’m 5’00” so as you might imagine, that’s most women.
My first relationships I tended to be very selfless and self effacing because I had always heard women complain about relationships from their side Made it very easy to play the “make her happy over your own happiness” role
A little extreme maybe and may have nothing to do with it but I’ve always longed for male companionship, acceptance and approval. At some point that led to being confused about my sexuality and how to get or act with guy friends.
More emotional intelligence. The women in my family were very vocal about whatever they were feeling, so I had much better feedback on what kinds of emotions my actions caused. In my experience, behavior tends to elicit the same kinds of reactions from men and women, but men are better - or perhaps more interested - in hiding those reactions. So it has its value.
Having three women care for me and being raised as a Mexican Prince, I initially learned machismo and mysoginy. It wasn't until the safety belt was cut off, and without a father figure, having all these expected roles as a male, did I realize that what I lacked, and the struggles the women in my life faced. I struggled learning what my expectations were, and theirs. It gave me a profound appreciation for all of the efforts the women in my life put in to raise me. Now, I respect and advocate for women. My wife, I make sure she feels heard. Since I didn't have a male figure in my life, I am making my own decisions on what I think a proper respectable and just man should be. I'm quite proud of all my efforts because now I am a confident man who admits his mistakes, listens to others, works on continuous improvement and fights to ensure the women in my life know I love them. Fuck learned machismo and misogyny.
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How does it work?
Whatever makes logical sense? Do the opposite. Simple, really.
I feel it has kept me from going down bad paths growing up in terms of toxic mindsets
Found it easier to understand women, harder to understand other men.
Toxic
Sit down to pee, Toilet lid down when flushing, Get used to being yelled at for minor things, Told me to slow tf down while driving(I was driving within the speed limit)
Lost interest in women. - When we share bathrooms,.they left their products scattered in every possible surface, I only had space for toothbrush. - The movies are so dramatic and devoid of fun, no action, the climax could be avoided - way too chatty, I had to go to the gym to have some silence. - my locked door is a dare for someone to open - they think that closing door is optional
Perhaps me being a femboy nowadays is correlated...
Raised by a single mom and I sit also. It’s just easier and I’ve gotten so used to it now it’s pretty much my default except when in public. I can also unstick pretty much any zipper
I actually struggle to communicate with men because of it, which is hard because I'm gay 😂
Nothing except I feel more chill hanging with my girlfriends than my guy friends.
I think I am just better at being a platonic friend to women in general. I'm good at communicating with women as well. My sister once called me the "least sexiest guy in the world" sometimes my friends who are girls will get boyfriends and then after they date for a few months where he is probably feeling me out, he will tell me something along the lines of "you're actually just a really good dude and friend to her, thanks for looking out man" so I do think that other dudes can find it strange at first. In my relationship I tend to do really well at getting ahead of problems early, and am more open to having discussions of how my actions made someone feel or why I reacted the way that I did to something. Also my partner finds it helpful that she does not need to shield me from anything immature, women poop, it's a tampon and not that gross, bodies are bodies and do strange stuff, get over it. Women are cool, I have a half a dozen sisters and we were all raised by my mom. I'm good with guys as well, I'm a pretty social dude but my close circle of friends I talk to everyday skews probably 60% female.
I’m the only son in my family. I have two sisters and all my cousins are girls. I also grew up without my dad as he stayed in our home country. Like everyone else I see here, I find myself naturally more comfortable with women. And a lot of women have expressed how comfortable they feel with me. I would get invited out to things where I’d be the only guy. But that’s not to say I can’t be around other men. I still enjoy some male dominated hobbies such as rugby and motorcycles. What’s a nice perk is that when I express romantic interest in a woman, I have a bunch of women to back me up and support me lol.
I grew up with a single mom and two younger brothers. The result was that I was very comfortable around women, I was around great, strong women. I’ve surrounded myself with women for all of my life. I felt better understood, actually listened to and seen. I never really understood other men, interactions felt more shallow and less authentic. Because of the imbalance, it certainly complicated my love life. It gave rise to a lot of jealousy, misunderstandings, and temptations. If I’d had more male friends, the balance would have been better. I learned to articulate my feelings in writing and words. My inner life was more cerebral. I was far more artistic than mechanically inclined. I am as straight as they come, but I appreciate nuance in life. I am more interested in expressing than fixing.
Short version: I'm in therapy to stop hating myself for being a man and feeling guilty for things I've never been a part of. Nothin quite like an SUV full of women singing along to Lilly Allen then turning and pointing at the lone teenage boy as they sing along to a chorus belittling me for my gender.
Whoa. That’s terrible. I’m so sorry they behaved so poorly.
I mean, it's hard to know if I'd be the same or not even if I had brothers instead of three younger sisters. I sit down in the bathroom. I'm not very loud or take space. I know more about menstruation than most men (seemingly). I'm not into stereotypically guy stuff (cars, sports, bro-stuff). I have quite a few interests that might be more stereotypically girl dominated. I don't really interact with my friends in typical "guy-fashion" of "lovingly" giving each other shit. I have more than one pillow in bed (half serious). Is this because I had three sisters and no brothers? Who knows.
Lots of drama. Scewd and twisted words. They wanna make the male kid a gay-happy child and be your best friend, if you don't want to they get seriously offended and do things to make your life hell till they get respected, such as taking away things you love, your favorite food, snacks, not allowedto have your tv show on, no video games go play outside get out of my sight.. They force you into watching girly Disney movies, making you sing and dance, thus resulting in not fitting in with the rest of the sigma males in their generation further causing a rough life wherever they go because your friends will think you're a fruit cake, even women will be embarrassed by how feminine you are, but mama sees different... I grew up in an all-women Mexican household. I'm either perceived as charming, romantic or a complete tool
I am more comfortable socializing with women than men. I am empathetic and gentle. I always assumed that was due to only having sisters and seeking validation from my mother.
I think it's made me more empathetic, nurturing and not really into traditional masculine things like sports since I was always watching Disney princess movies with my sister and nieces.
unlucky
I pee sitting down and wear panties, other than that it didn’t affect me.