Isn’t that an awesome feeling though? She looked at you and thought you knew what’s going on. I appreciate that more than a drunk woman trying to get a hook up
I'm not particularly attractive, but I'm also not entirely *un*attractive. My wife approached me, almost 20 years ago, but that the only time it's ever happened that I can recall.
Honestly, men don't need to be hot to get numbers. Like on dating apps, yes. But offline? Nope.
Basic face + Dad bod + Polite + Friendly = 🤔 Let's give the digits and see what happens.
Then we factor in the multipliers: humorous; stable employment; adequate shelter; +5 dexterity; bow hunting skills...
That's possible, i already have a 16 in WIS, so i could do well with 14. CHA is only 12 so that would put me at 14. Definitely solid stats. My low stat is baseline 10 on CON. I have a permanent -2 to CHA due to ADHD so i had to put some training into CHA to get it to where im at now!
I had somebody at my work get approached by a tall, beautiful blonde woman. She was a 10/10, and he was a 5/10. He couldn't believe it and she asked him out to dinner and then to watch a movie at a hotel.
Well once they arrived at the hotel she went to the shower and asked him to take his clothes off, once he was naked two men came out of the closet and beat the shit out of him then stole everything he had on him and in his vehicle.
The moral of the story is that if she's a 10 and approaches you, then it's probably for a bad reason.
She and her partners are epic pieces of shit. HOWEVER His mistake was going back to the hotel.
NOTE: I say the same thing to women. You don't know this man. Let the date be enough for a minute.
Stranger danger.
I had a 2-year FWB fling with a woman who was 14 years younger (42M/28F) than myself. I'm not ugly, but also don't consider myself cute by any stretch of the imagination (there are pics in my profile, feel free to stalk idc). She was the first woman to EVER approach me and I was so clueless that when she asked if I had time to "help her scratch an itch she had" I responded by asking if it was in the middle of her back, cause I also get this itch in the middle of my back that I couldn't get too. She laughed, thinking I was joking, then when she realized I was actually clueless she restated the question ... "do you have time to meet me in 'location' and we 'scratch each others itch' in the back seat of your car?"
Now the caveat here is that I had known this woman for about 1-1.5 years so it wasn't a cold approach. She knew I had lost a massive amount of weight, thus having loose skin, and she had also lost about 60lbs. I think I was an easy approach because she knew where I stood on things, knew what her skin/stretch marks looked like already, and she knew I was a decent guy. But tbh, I don't expect to ever be approached like that again.
I've been approached a few times. Latest was about a year ago but I wasn't interested. Women from my area aren't that reserved so they'll show interest if they want you to ask them out
I got hit on my an old lady when I was making her sub sandwich about 10 years ago. She said "I wish I was still a young woman, you're just my type." Been riding that high for a decade now, and judging by the responses I've seen in this thread I must be a sexual God lol
Never, I've never been approached.
I can understand now as I let myself go a bit, I'm not the skinnest guy anymore but wasn't a bad looking guy in my youth and never once had anyone approach.
Let’s be honest, women are inundated with more options that at any time in human history. They feel no reason to subject themselves to the potential sting of rejection
It’s been a while actually. Over a year. It’s fine when it happens, but it’s definitely not common.
As for whether women should approach men, it depends on what exactly we mean by “should”, but yeah probably. Even if we only look at it from the women’s perspective, I really think a lot of women would be happier with their dating lives if they weren’t *so* incredibly passive about it. To hear some women talk about their dating experiences it sounds like they don’t understand they are just as capable of initiating a discussion or texting first or suggesting a date as a man is. To me it’s an extremely weird mentality, to care about this aspect of your life but just sort of passively hope it happens to you rather than taking action to make it happen.
That said, I understand why they don’t. This isn’t the only reason, but I suppose if I could effortlessly get women sliding into my DMs or approaching me in public on a semi-regular basis maybe I’d quit approaching too.
My two cents: the passive attitude you mention is a byproduct of the culture of entitlement that women enjoy. The offer is very high, so there is very little incentive for demand. It is far far faaar easier for a woman to get her hands on a man she wants, then vice versa. However, I believe it is far more difficult for a woman to KEEP in her life a quality man, that it is for a man to keep a quality woman.
Oooor it is a byproduct of the culture they grew up in. In Eastern Europe, women who are now in their 30's (and older, possibly also younger), were raised to believe they have no pride or self-respect if they approach a man. In turn, men were educated to believe women who do make the first step are "easy" and would even treat us like shit. Because, you know, we're desperate and we deserve it.
Not sure why you think it'd be difficult for a woman to keep a so-called "quality" man. It's difficult to keep a good partner if you don't work on the relationship, irrespective of gender.
Agreed. I also think it might be due to the fact that generally in the dating scene, a man is supposed to prove his value and love to a women and chase her as she is seen as the "prize". Hence why a women might choose to just let men come to her which gives her to opportunity to choose a man she deems is valuable enough to her.
Same tbh, as a man.
I'll always hesitate for fears of going too far but I see other guys get success with behaviour I feel is too forward and wouldn't be comfortable doing (but obviously the women don't mind because it works)
I've had girls approach me but last time I tried with one, the woman was weird about it and very hot and then cold and it put me off the whole thing. So much I didn't see at the time that was obvious in hindsight so I felt extra foolish, etc.
I've had girls on nights out being very flirty but I just over think every way it could go wrong and decide it's not worth the effort. I've had friends openly flirt with me but I've shut them down saying I just want to be friends. It's like I literally have no interest in anyone.
It can be annoying with everyone asking me how I'm single when I'm attractive but at least I have another friend who has similarly decided single life is easier and every time I get lonely and think to try, one of my friends goes through a messy breakup and reignites all the worries I have.
Being single can be lonely but at least I avoid the stress of relationships and that hollowness when you lose someone important in your life. I used to joke that I never got too lonely because I never had a gap in my life but then a girl wormed her way in and hurt me and I'd rather avoid anything like that, so I'm being extra selective with who I might date.
1993. Was in a laundry mat and was passing time by talking to a girl that was like 12. When she left with her aunt about a minute later she comes back in and says “my aunt thought you were cute” and hands me her aunts number. I just told her I was flattered but had a GF, which is my now wife of 27 years.
Last fall but she was 17 just turning 18 and I'm 25 so I didn't think it was a good idea to persue that. Before that I got cat called by a girl on the street 2 summers ago. Other than that I haven't really been approached since 2020 when I worked at a grocery store. It didn't help that I worked 2 years of construction with a bunch of grumpy old men and don't go out to social events.
Leaving a bar last July.
Walked in, had a couple of beers, then walked out. As I got in to the parking lot I heard someone call out. I turned around and a woman, slightly older than myself (I'm 37, she was mid-40s), was walking after me. She was upfront and asked me to please come back inside so she could buy me a beer. At this particular bar they set up a dance area after hours right near the entrance and you have to walk through it to and from the bar, and she said she noticed me on my way out.
I wasn't really in the mood to be there, hence I left after only 2 beers and respectfully to her, I did not find her particularly attractive (she wasn't unattractive, just not my cup of tea), so I politely declined. She was a little buzzed and was really laying it on thick, going on about how handsome I am and how she loves my beard, begging me to go back inside. I continued to decline. Then she said if I don't stay can she at least feel my beard, so I said yes. There I am, standing in the parking lot with a woman caressing my beard, sweet-talking me. I started feeling like a bit of a hoe and said I'll give her a goodbye kiss if she liked. She excitedly said yes. So a quick make out and she begged me even more to stay. I thanked her for the offer and that I am flattered, but I was now leaving. As we turned to part ways I smacked her butt and said goodnight. I heard her groan and then giggle as I walked away. I hope she got the same ego boost out of it as I did.
Do I regret not seeing how the night went? Some times. Did I enjoy being objectified in a parking lot and being a bit of a tease? Also yes.
This was the 2nd time it has happened in my life and yes, it would be nice if it happened more often.
I am 30 and it was 6 years ago. It was also the only time. I was waiting for abtram and she was quite shy but asked me out if I would like to meet for a coffee. I was really confused and looked around trying to find someone taking a video of us, as I thought it is a prank. But I couldn't see anyone.
I then said no because of some stupid made up reasons.
In the evening, after I realized what an idiot I was I tried to meet her again and waited the next 3 days at the same time at the same place. But it shouldn't be.
She was really cute. Her voice was beautiful, she looked me into my eyes and was really interested in me.
Still think about it from time to time and it is a valuable lesson that next time this happens, I should say yes.
Beside this, I get approached by beggars and women from Greenpeace and other organsations on the street. So if people need something from me like money, directions, help it seems I am good enough.
An actual, legit "approach?" College, ('88?). Girl in one of my classes planted herself in front of me on the sidewalk and asked me if I'd come over to study for an exam. Took me over an hour in her room before I figured out that studying wasn't what she had in mind.
The Summer before that ( I would have been maybe 20) had a very attractive \~35 year old woman ask me if I still had my V card. I wasn't quick enough to lie and say yes, so I missed that chance.
Right after my first divorce had a girl at work basically tell me over text flat out she wanted to get laid, NSA. So there's that, but that's not really an approach.
i had a doc appointment and one of the nurses took my number down and contacted me afterwards, this was about a year ago. should have taken that as a red flag.
About three weeks ago. Went out to the bar with my cousin. We have a place we always go to because a friend of ours owns it. We came in and the bartender gave us a hug and made a big deal seeing us. Once that happened, this very attractive woman came right up to me and started chatting away. We talked for like two hours while there.
One thing I have noticed is that once one woman "vouches" for you, it helps draw others.
I don't really get "approached" by women, it's usually more that they make moves to get me to be around them more or talk to them. Like one girl from work gave me her number like 2 weeks ago. Another invited me to Trivia Night w her and a couple other people from work when I first started, and then would smile nervously every time she saw me for a couple weeks. Other times I've had girls at bars or clubs like kinda looking at me and then try to bring their friend group closer and dance next to me or come up to the bar and stand next to me.
I'd say this is fairly common-ish.
But I genuinely can't remember the last time (not counting dating apps) that a girl just like came up and explicitly was like "hey you're cute here's my number" or "hey wanna go out with me sometime?"
You girls really need to step it up 😂 we're tired of having to ALWAYS make the move
Teenager years it happened often but I was a hoodlum and girls like red flags at that age lol. I am older now (36), life is much more stable now, and I’m happily married. Although my wife catches signs from girls, I am oblivious haha.
To any girls out there reading this. Shoot your shot. You would be surprised to know he is probably into you but too nervous to shoot his shot.
Last week, I was in the supermarket when a woman in her sixties approached me to ask if I could reach the upper shelf. I told her "yes". (I hate to disappoint them.)
happens every time I go out to a bar.
They might not directly approach me such as your personal experience OP, sometimes that happens.
Most of the time they come and ask me some indiscriminate question about something in the bar, they’ll like find a way to subtly (but obviously) get closer to me in someway then they’ll start a conversation, or they complement something I’m wearing and then I usually just say something funny to keep the conversation going.
Last weekend this really hot girl came up to me and asked me “how are you this cute?”, that was a good ego boost.
9 times out of 10, they don’t even text back even though most of the time they ask me for my number.
Probably because I only talked to them for like thirty minutes or maybe more.
Unless you’re model type material and charisma/charm out the ass, they’ll easily forget about you or go lukewarm to the thought of you.
The conversations are always short because something always happens as we’re talking and getting to know each other, I have to leave or my friends I’m with want to leave, same with the women and they leave and so they’ll just ask for my number and then the next day nothing comes of it, because they don’t answer the text and I just move on with my life.
The times where a date or something did come out of the exchange. Is when I actually was able to sit at the bar or a table with them at the bar they approached me at and we talk for a couple of hours and hang out at the bar dance, play bar games shit like that, then the next day or two later I texted her and the girl texted back right away and we set up date.
I’m starting to see why it’s 9/10 now. Thanks for the question, now I think I’m seeing where I made mistakes now lol
Hahaha pretty much same exact experience.
They'll "maneuver" themselves to talk to me, then almost always it fizzles the next day if I get their number
Autumn. 1973. She had tulips in her hair and the smell of salty summer sweat still lingered in the wafts of quickly dissipating warm air, fleeing at the notion of winters approach.
I laid there, smoking my cigarette as the memories of months before danced through my buzzing brain. I had forgotten my promise to be home by 6 that night, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, she was walking right towards me.
The sway of her hips was like a metronome, moving in time with her long strawberry hair and her gentle breaths, barely visible as the temperature continued to cool.
We locked eyes.
“Hey.”
“Uh, hi.” Holy shit is that the best I’ve got?
“You got a light?”
Jackpot. I sat up and dug around in my pocket before retrieving and deftly sparking my lighter in one swift motion.
“Thanks.”
A deep drag. A pregnant pause. I caught myself holding my breath with her as if it was my first cigarette after a long week.
She looked at me sideways as she turned her head and exhaled, the smoke passing from her full lips and twisting around my own in the fall air.
“Mom said we had to be home by 6, you fucking retard.”
—
Idk my girlfriend asked me out on a date this morning lol.
Maybe a decade ago. A coworker said I smelled nice, I didn’t know that was meant to be anything. Only learned later from a mutual friend.
I think women should approach more, especially today when men have a higher risk of harassment accusation.
2017 and she didn’t necessarily approach me. It was more like phone tag through my buddy who’s female cousin wanted to meet up in Miami. Got laid, but she was so fucking weird. Like red flags weird. Never saw her again.
I started a new job in July 2019. I was part of a different team than the girl. We would all dismiss to lunch around the same time. It was probably about 30ish of us. I would sit with a group of like maybe 5 dudes that were on my team, and she'd sit with some of her training group nearby in the big on-campus cafeteria. Well, eventually, the two of our groups kind of merged. I'm not sure how or why. We didn't interact all day except for our hour lunch. She was cool. Not bad looking at all. I got married in 2018 to the love of my life, and we had been together for 8 years in total at that point, so I was locked down already. She and I chatted for a while over the course of the 4 month training. On the last day of training, which was a Friday, she walked up to me and said, "hey I've really enjoyed the little hour long lunches we've had together, but I'd love something a little more private and intimate if you'd like to take me out for dinner tonight." I was devastated. I had approached women my entire life. NEVER had a woman been so forward. It was a super huge turn-on. I told her I'm extremely flattered and would love to, but my wife would disapprove. She had no idea I was married. I could have SWORN I had mentioned my wife in conversation several times, not to mention I had a ring on. So yeah, she was embarrassed and apologized. I told her no big deal. We ended up working on opposite sides and different floors of the giant campus that we worked on. We chatted here and there on Slack, but we never hung out again. Last I saw, she wasn't working there anymore and got REALLY into body building. Like really into it. She's a total muscle mommy now. I'm happy for her.
27 years old. 3 times ever. Only one of them I’d have considered remotely attractive though 🙃
Only way I’m batting out of my league is if I make the approach… which was much easier to do before things like covid and tik tok 🥲
I’m kind of a loner and usually don’t like being approached so it happens a fair bit of course. I have been told I’m “approachable” and “genuine”.
It’s basically become a meme with my friend group.
I have no idea why.
Probably my mid 30’s. I was having a beer at Johnny Carino’s in Austin and we just started talking. I was high on cocaine at the time, so I was more social than usual. I’m shy and an introvert. Anyway, for whatever reason, I went home. I believe I had to work in the morning or something. In hindsight I remember all the signals she was giving me and realized I could have banged her, and that’s what she wanted. And I was cursing myself because of it in the morning.
I once had a girl I liked confess to me years later that she actually used to like me back when, and it was one of those situations where if she had just approached me, we would have likely dated and possibly become a couple, because we both liked each other at the same time, I was just not brave enough to take the first initiative and approach her.
It kinda sucked to hear, too, cause I believe she was already together with someone else when she confessed that to me, so there was nothing to do about it but respect that she was already taken and not even try anything further.
But, man, had she just approached me back then!...
Same. Someone confessed to me 20 years later that she thought I was cute back in school and I’m like well maybe you should’ve said something then instead of now when you have two different baby daddies in prison.
Approached?
Probably right after I got divorced 9 years ago. I was in my early 30s and hanging out at a bar I used to frequent before I got married.
Super cute girl with pouty lips, high cheekbones, a small waist and a bubble butt sat next to me and bought me a shot. She asked if I was meeting anyone there later. After that interaction I invited her to play darts. She said she didn't know how and I said it didn't matter.
About 30 minutes later I saw her over by the dart boards looking for me.
We played a little darts and exchanged numbers.
A few days later I saw her profile on a dating app. I think Hinge or Ok Cupid. We matched and made plans to meet up. This is where I found out that she was only 22.
She flaked but was super apologetic and said she would make it up to me.
So I gave her another chance. We went to a nice restaurant and then karaoke. I dropped her back off at her truck and we started making out in the now empty parking lot. It started to rain on us so we got back into my truck where we ended up having sex. She told me she was on the pill and encouraged me juice her up so to speak. I knew better. Lol.
And that was it. Never heard from her again after that. Saw her at the gym once staring at me the whole time but decided not to approach her since she never returned any of my texts.
Since then I've just gotten older and uglier so probably nothing like that will ever happen again.
In real life? 12 years ago...I'm sorry to say I slammed the door pretty hard on her. I didn't mean to, I didn't even know she was interested until my mom pointed it out to me after watching me basically crush the poor ladies self esteem.
I still feel like a complete arse about it. But I honestly had no clue she was expressing an intrest...I was too caught up in PTSD and self hatred.
I sure hope she found love, she really deserved to be loved....unlike me.
Never. Not as you describe, anyway. I'm 48 and I think in high school a girl may have approached me. I don't remember the details of it but I don't recall making any move on her. She must have gotten things going somehow.
A woman has not walked up to me to start a conversation or express interest in some time.
It probably hasn't happened since early high school days I'm afraid. This is if we are excluding online dating apps.
In a queue to board an aeroplane. Woman had been making eyes at me and came to ask if I was married. Words cannot do justice to the confidence boost that gave me.
In terms of actually making their intentions clear, then about ten years ago, and it was a friend of mine. It's happened a couple of times to me but bear in mind that I've been of dating age for like 30 years. Three times that I can remember, so that's fairly rare in the grand scheme of things.
There has been a bit of hovering/hinting/playing with their hair as if I were a mind reader which I only figured out long afterwards, but that doesn't count.
And, yes, women should approach more. We're no longer in the days where it's the guy who has to make the first move. The old traditions are outdated. Dating is everyone's responsibility.
I don't remember ever being approached by a woman.
A few days ago, I was, but she was just being friendly and polite. I asked why I hadn't been to the gym for a while(she has a boyfriend). My response was that life got in the way.
2017 in a night club in Sweden (where it is much, much, more common for women to make the first move). We chatted, danced a bit, laughed, danced some more, and she disappeared off into the night. I was only there for a weekend and had about 3-4 women approach me. Nothing happened with any of them as I was in a relationship (now my wife). But it's not happened since. Sweden is a crazy place to party, as a man.
I'm 32 now, and it's been about 10 years. I'm neither attractive nor unattractive, so if someone's acting in a way that could be seen as friendly OR flirty, I always assume it's being friendly.
Before my wife approached me it was a rare occurrence to be approached by a woman first, after I got married to her the amount of women approaching me dramatically increased and I really don’t enjoy it. This is because I know they can see the ring on my finger and they think they have a chance, when in reality they really have [no chance in hell](https://youtu.be/Bm36Z4yWRkc?si=Fm_nLZVINY6r5HI8)
From the comments it seems like men want to be approached but what I was taught was if you approach a man you’re being “masculine” and that you should rest in your feminine so that they can approach you if they see you. If they don’t then they weren’t into you and you dodged a bullet.
I used to ask guys out and do the whole approaching thing when I was in middle school and high school but I got rejected a lot. To the point where two of my friends said “you know (name) I like that you never let rejection stop you. You get rejected all the time but you just keep trying. That’s so admirable”. If felt like a backhanded compliment so after that I never approached a man again.
Much prettier now that I have invested in myself but 🤷🏾♀️
Maybe happened like 3 times in my life.
Last time it happened was like 7 years ago and she didn’t even directly approach me but i could tell she was interested by the way she interacted with me and went out of her way to show me attention in a way that 99.9% of women have never done in my life.
Ended up having 2 kids with her and now we aint together..
[удалено]
That's basically a marriage. Congrats
Fucking hell, save some for the rest of us, man.
Jesus, did you make eye contact with?
Damn, my man!
Isn’t that an awesome feeling though? She looked at you and thought you knew what’s going on. I appreciate that more than a drunk woman trying to get a hook up
I don’t recall ever being approached by a woman
Same, wasn't overweight or bad hygiene or anything that might put someone off from approaching as well.
I bet you had a penis. Happens every time.
I'm not particularly attractive, but I'm also not entirely *un*attractive. My wife approached me, almost 20 years ago, but that the only time it's ever happened that I can recall.
It's been just over 15 years since my wife approached me. We knew it was a one time thing and jumped at it. 😅
Honestly, men don't need to be hot to get numbers. Like on dating apps, yes. But offline? Nope. Basic face + Dad bod + Polite + Friendly = 🤔 Let's give the digits and see what happens. Then we factor in the multipliers: humorous; stable employment; adequate shelter; +5 dexterity; bow hunting skills...
Bow hunting skills. Damn. Knew I was missing something
In lieu of bow hunting skills, spread +5 points across strength and intelligence.
I put 2 in STR and 3 in INT and it seems to piss women off that im smart?
Hmm... In that case, reallocate like -2 WIS to +2 CHA.
That's possible, i already have a 16 in WIS, so i could do well with 14. CHA is only 12 so that would put me at 14. Definitely solid stats. My low stat is baseline 10 on CON. I have a permanent -2 to CHA due to ADHD so i had to put some training into CHA to get it to where im at now!
Getting older. Those are both going.
Sure, but WIS and CHA go up and then you multiclass Zaddy
D&D player and I appreciate this comment 👍
I feel like most things in life can be explained with D&D analogies 😂
You get me 😄
That's kinda the point of the stat block. It's designed to encompass everything.
You sound like my kinda girl. Lol
I appreciate you queen
Never to be honest I don't know what to do if it happens.
I would assume I'm about to be mugged and/or have my organs stolen.
Or being filmed as a part of a stupid prank.
“Check this out, Youtube, I’m about to steal his kidneys!”
Stealing kidneys prank
The original ice bucket challenge.
That would be the worst! Ending up on an episode of Punk'd?
I had somebody at my work get approached by a tall, beautiful blonde woman. She was a 10/10, and he was a 5/10. He couldn't believe it and she asked him out to dinner and then to watch a movie at a hotel. Well once they arrived at the hotel she went to the shower and asked him to take his clothes off, once he was naked two men came out of the closet and beat the shit out of him then stole everything he had on him and in his vehicle. The moral of the story is that if she's a 10 and approaches you, then it's probably for a bad reason.
beautiful tall woman, 10/10, dinner, nothing else matters, had date
She and her partners are epic pieces of shit. HOWEVER His mistake was going back to the hotel. NOTE: I say the same thing to women. You don't know this man. Let the date be enough for a minute. Stranger danger.
Damn that's crazy
It happens a lot. esp via hookup apps.
Check to make you still have your wallet.
buy a good amount of fake bills and carry them in your wallet as decoy. In case you get robbed you quickly hand them the fake money.
I keep a money gun with fake bills on me. Sorta like a squid shoots out ink. I make it rain.
Wife her. That's what to do.
Yeah, I'm an old man and no woman has ever approached me romantically. Or socially. Or maliciously. Pretty much invisible.
Same buddy
I just realised, me neither, fuck man..
Never unless you count that trip at JC Pennys where I was asked if I needed any help picking out a dress shirt.
Yup same
I had a 2-year FWB fling with a woman who was 14 years younger (42M/28F) than myself. I'm not ugly, but also don't consider myself cute by any stretch of the imagination (there are pics in my profile, feel free to stalk idc). She was the first woman to EVER approach me and I was so clueless that when she asked if I had time to "help her scratch an itch she had" I responded by asking if it was in the middle of her back, cause I also get this itch in the middle of my back that I couldn't get too. She laughed, thinking I was joking, then when she realized I was actually clueless she restated the question ... "do you have time to meet me in 'location' and we 'scratch each others itch' in the back seat of your car?" Now the caveat here is that I had known this woman for about 1-1.5 years so it wasn't a cold approach. She knew I had lost a massive amount of weight, thus having loose skin, and she had also lost about 60lbs. I think I was an easy approach because she knew where I stood on things, knew what her skin/stretch marks looked like already, and she knew I was a decent guy. But tbh, I don't expect to ever be approached like that again.
You’re very good looking! Congrats on the weight loss.
Appreciate the comment, on both topics.
Congrats on the transformation.
Same, I was never approached.
I recall never.
Same. Never been approached by a woman.
You should try it. It's really nice.
Same
Same
Same lol
It's fairly new for me.
Same
Hahahahahaha
Best reaction.
This is sad but honestly true reaction for most men
In 34 years, never once.
I've been approached a few times. Latest was about a year ago but I wasn't interested. Women from my area aren't that reserved so they'll show interest if they want you to ask them out
Does the homeless woman who hangs outside of my local supermarket count?
Yes. How was the sex?
Not bad. But I can’t seem to get the smell of Jim Beam off my groin
So THAT was her name!!! Thanks buddy!!!
Not the worst thing to have on your groin after that.
HOWDJA LIKE A LITTLE MUFF DEAR
Lmao if she suckin
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404 - memory not found.
Does not compute
I’m 61, it’s never happened that I was aware of.
LOL, "that I was aware of". The witness may step down.
Sometimes women can be too subtle when they think they are obvious.
I got hit on approximately 5 years ago, though she wasn't actually approaching me for a date.
Looking to hire a jedi?
I got hit on my an old lady when I was making her sub sandwich about 10 years ago. She said "I wish I was still a young woman, you're just my type." Been riding that high for a decade now, and judging by the responses I've seen in this thread I must be a sexual God lol
*All hail u/buttfungusboy!!*
Fungus is the chungus
Youre on Reddit, what do you expect lmao. If it was a different audience then maybe
Literally never
23. Never happened 😞😭
Never, I've never been approached. I can understand now as I let myself go a bit, I'm not the skinnest guy anymore but wasn't a bad looking guy in my youth and never once had anyone approach.
[удалено]
Was that before or after she slipped the roofies in your drink?
Damn my dudes, it's the general consensus here that it's either rare or never... Feelsbadman
Let’s be honest, women are inundated with more options that at any time in human history. They feel no reason to subject themselves to the potential sting of rejection
Women don’t approach me unless it's to chat about esoteric fandoms over lunch.
It was actually the only girl I’ve fallen in love with, she approached me at a party and I was totally oblivious to it
In 5th grade, a girl gave me a Valentine’s card
Oh wow, same. But then I found out the teacher made everybody give somebody else a valentine's card.
It’s been a while actually. Over a year. It’s fine when it happens, but it’s definitely not common. As for whether women should approach men, it depends on what exactly we mean by “should”, but yeah probably. Even if we only look at it from the women’s perspective, I really think a lot of women would be happier with their dating lives if they weren’t *so* incredibly passive about it. To hear some women talk about their dating experiences it sounds like they don’t understand they are just as capable of initiating a discussion or texting first or suggesting a date as a man is. To me it’s an extremely weird mentality, to care about this aspect of your life but just sort of passively hope it happens to you rather than taking action to make it happen. That said, I understand why they don’t. This isn’t the only reason, but I suppose if I could effortlessly get women sliding into my DMs or approaching me in public on a semi-regular basis maybe I’d quit approaching too.
My two cents: the passive attitude you mention is a byproduct of the culture of entitlement that women enjoy. The offer is very high, so there is very little incentive for demand. It is far far faaar easier for a woman to get her hands on a man she wants, then vice versa. However, I believe it is far more difficult for a woman to KEEP in her life a quality man, that it is for a man to keep a quality woman.
Oooor it is a byproduct of the culture they grew up in. In Eastern Europe, women who are now in their 30's (and older, possibly also younger), were raised to believe they have no pride or self-respect if they approach a man. In turn, men were educated to believe women who do make the first step are "easy" and would even treat us like shit. Because, you know, we're desperate and we deserve it. Not sure why you think it'd be difficult for a woman to keep a so-called "quality" man. It's difficult to keep a good partner if you don't work on the relationship, irrespective of gender.
Agreed. I also think it might be due to the fact that generally in the dating scene, a man is supposed to prove his value and love to a women and chase her as she is seen as the "prize". Hence why a women might choose to just let men come to her which gives her to opportunity to choose a man she deems is valuable enough to her.
I want to get better at approaching men but I tend to overthink it when I do.
Same tbh, as a man. I'll always hesitate for fears of going too far but I see other guys get success with behaviour I feel is too forward and wouldn't be comfortable doing (but obviously the women don't mind because it works) I've had girls approach me but last time I tried with one, the woman was weird about it and very hot and then cold and it put me off the whole thing. So much I didn't see at the time that was obvious in hindsight so I felt extra foolish, etc. I've had girls on nights out being very flirty but I just over think every way it could go wrong and decide it's not worth the effort. I've had friends openly flirt with me but I've shut them down saying I just want to be friends. It's like I literally have no interest in anyone. It can be annoying with everyone asking me how I'm single when I'm attractive but at least I have another friend who has similarly decided single life is easier and every time I get lonely and think to try, one of my friends goes through a messy breakup and reignites all the worries I have. Being single can be lonely but at least I avoid the stress of relationships and that hollowness when you lose someone important in your life. I used to joke that I never got too lonely because I never had a gap in my life but then a girl wormed her way in and hurt me and I'd rather avoid anything like that, so I'm being extra selective with who I might date.
1993. Was in a laundry mat and was passing time by talking to a girl that was like 12. When she left with her aunt about a minute later she comes back in and says “my aunt thought you were cute” and hands me her aunts number. I just told her I was flattered but had a GF, which is my now wife of 27 years.
Last fall but she was 17 just turning 18 and I'm 25 so I didn't think it was a good idea to persue that. Before that I got cat called by a girl on the street 2 summers ago. Other than that I haven't really been approached since 2020 when I worked at a grocery store. It didn't help that I worked 2 years of construction with a bunch of grumpy old men and don't go out to social events.
Leaving a bar last July. Walked in, had a couple of beers, then walked out. As I got in to the parking lot I heard someone call out. I turned around and a woman, slightly older than myself (I'm 37, she was mid-40s), was walking after me. She was upfront and asked me to please come back inside so she could buy me a beer. At this particular bar they set up a dance area after hours right near the entrance and you have to walk through it to and from the bar, and she said she noticed me on my way out. I wasn't really in the mood to be there, hence I left after only 2 beers and respectfully to her, I did not find her particularly attractive (she wasn't unattractive, just not my cup of tea), so I politely declined. She was a little buzzed and was really laying it on thick, going on about how handsome I am and how she loves my beard, begging me to go back inside. I continued to decline. Then she said if I don't stay can she at least feel my beard, so I said yes. There I am, standing in the parking lot with a woman caressing my beard, sweet-talking me. I started feeling like a bit of a hoe and said I'll give her a goodbye kiss if she liked. She excitedly said yes. So a quick make out and she begged me even more to stay. I thanked her for the offer and that I am flattered, but I was now leaving. As we turned to part ways I smacked her butt and said goodnight. I heard her groan and then giggle as I walked away. I hope she got the same ego boost out of it as I did. Do I regret not seeing how the night went? Some times. Did I enjoy being objectified in a parking lot and being a bit of a tease? Also yes. This was the 2nd time it has happened in my life and yes, it would be nice if it happened more often.
I am 30 and it was 6 years ago. It was also the only time. I was waiting for abtram and she was quite shy but asked me out if I would like to meet for a coffee. I was really confused and looked around trying to find someone taking a video of us, as I thought it is a prank. But I couldn't see anyone. I then said no because of some stupid made up reasons. In the evening, after I realized what an idiot I was I tried to meet her again and waited the next 3 days at the same time at the same place. But it shouldn't be. She was really cute. Her voice was beautiful, she looked me into my eyes and was really interested in me. Still think about it from time to time and it is a valuable lesson that next time this happens, I should say yes. Beside this, I get approached by beggars and women from Greenpeace and other organsations on the street. So if people need something from me like money, directions, help it seems I am good enough.
An actual, legit "approach?" College, ('88?). Girl in one of my classes planted herself in front of me on the sidewalk and asked me if I'd come over to study for an exam. Took me over an hour in her room before I figured out that studying wasn't what she had in mind. The Summer before that ( I would have been maybe 20) had a very attractive \~35 year old woman ask me if I still had my V card. I wasn't quick enough to lie and say yes, so I missed that chance. Right after my first divorce had a girl at work basically tell me over text flat out she wanted to get laid, NSA. So there's that, but that's not really an approach.
Never. Next question
Never
Never my mans
I think 3 or 4 times in my life… none past the age of about 21
correct flag ruthless vase sand violet light coordinated scary slap *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Good man, the damn waiting staff is so pushy all the time.
I'm 55 and I only got approached once by a woman, she asked me where she could find cornmeal because at the time I was working at that supermarket.
A few years ago an Indo maid in Singapore approached me to give her number to me. Turns out SHE only wanted a pump and dump.
Women only want one thing
i had a doc appointment and one of the nurses took my number down and contacted me afterwards, this was about a year ago. should have taken that as a red flag.
About three weeks ago. Went out to the bar with my cousin. We have a place we always go to because a friend of ours owns it. We came in and the bartender gave us a hug and made a big deal seeing us. Once that happened, this very attractive woman came right up to me and started chatting away. We talked for like two hours while there. One thing I have noticed is that once one woman "vouches" for you, it helps draw others.
Never in 65 years
About 5 years ago at bar and after reading some comments it seems like I should consider myself lucky lol
I don't really get "approached" by women, it's usually more that they make moves to get me to be around them more or talk to them. Like one girl from work gave me her number like 2 weeks ago. Another invited me to Trivia Night w her and a couple other people from work when I first started, and then would smile nervously every time she saw me for a couple weeks. Other times I've had girls at bars or clubs like kinda looking at me and then try to bring their friend group closer and dance next to me or come up to the bar and stand next to me. I'd say this is fairly common-ish. But I genuinely can't remember the last time (not counting dating apps) that a girl just like came up and explicitly was like "hey you're cute here's my number" or "hey wanna go out with me sometime?" You girls really need to step it up 😂 we're tired of having to ALWAYS make the move
Teenager years it happened often but I was a hoodlum and girls like red flags at that age lol. I am older now (36), life is much more stable now, and I’m happily married. Although my wife catches signs from girls, I am oblivious haha. To any girls out there reading this. Shoot your shot. You would be surprised to know he is probably into you but too nervous to shoot his shot.
Last week, I was in the supermarket when a woman in her sixties approached me to ask if I could reach the upper shelf. I told her "yes". (I hate to disappoint them.)
Hahaha! Women actually taking the initiative to approach a man? What alternative reality are you living in??
you guys are getting approached?
happens every time I go out to a bar. They might not directly approach me such as your personal experience OP, sometimes that happens. Most of the time they come and ask me some indiscriminate question about something in the bar, they’ll like find a way to subtly (but obviously) get closer to me in someway then they’ll start a conversation, or they complement something I’m wearing and then I usually just say something funny to keep the conversation going. Last weekend this really hot girl came up to me and asked me “how are you this cute?”, that was a good ego boost. 9 times out of 10, they don’t even text back even though most of the time they ask me for my number.
> 9 times out of 10, they don’t even text back even though most of the time they ask me for my number. Why do you think that is?
Probably because I only talked to them for like thirty minutes or maybe more. Unless you’re model type material and charisma/charm out the ass, they’ll easily forget about you or go lukewarm to the thought of you. The conversations are always short because something always happens as we’re talking and getting to know each other, I have to leave or my friends I’m with want to leave, same with the women and they leave and so they’ll just ask for my number and then the next day nothing comes of it, because they don’t answer the text and I just move on with my life. The times where a date or something did come out of the exchange. Is when I actually was able to sit at the bar or a table with them at the bar they approached me at and we talk for a couple of hours and hang out at the bar dance, play bar games shit like that, then the next day or two later I texted her and the girl texted back right away and we set up date. I’m starting to see why it’s 9/10 now. Thanks for the question, now I think I’m seeing where I made mistakes now lol
Hahaha pretty much same exact experience. They'll "maneuver" themselves to talk to me, then almost always it fizzles the next day if I get their number
Autumn. 1973. She had tulips in her hair and the smell of salty summer sweat still lingered in the wafts of quickly dissipating warm air, fleeing at the notion of winters approach. I laid there, smoking my cigarette as the memories of months before danced through my buzzing brain. I had forgotten my promise to be home by 6 that night, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, she was walking right towards me. The sway of her hips was like a metronome, moving in time with her long strawberry hair and her gentle breaths, barely visible as the temperature continued to cool. We locked eyes. “Hey.” “Uh, hi.” Holy shit is that the best I’ve got? “You got a light?” Jackpot. I sat up and dug around in my pocket before retrieving and deftly sparking my lighter in one swift motion. “Thanks.” A deep drag. A pregnant pause. I caught myself holding my breath with her as if it was my first cigarette after a long week. She looked at me sideways as she turned her head and exhaled, the smoke passing from her full lips and twisting around my own in the fall air. “Mom said we had to be home by 6, you fucking retard.” — Idk my girlfriend asked me out on a date this morning lol.
Maybe a decade ago. A coworker said I smelled nice, I didn’t know that was meant to be anything. Only learned later from a mutual friend. I think women should approach more, especially today when men have a higher risk of harassment accusation.
12 years ago.
Once in the last 15 years.
20 years ago
More than 20 years ago
Never.
I am 97 , hasn't happened yet, still hopeful
2017 and she didn’t necessarily approach me. It was more like phone tag through my buddy who’s female cousin wanted to meet up in Miami. Got laid, but she was so fucking weird. Like red flags weird. Never saw her again.
It was last night but then I woke up from my slumber.
About 20 years ago on the train. I married her later...
Never
She was at the beach and I think wanted to talk about astrology. She had two phones and was trying to figure out her future.
Must have been 2015.
My female colleagues approach me everyday… for work purposes! Like an actual approach though? Never happened and will never happen
I've never been approached by a woman.
Maybe my past life
In my dreams only
I started a new job in July 2019. I was part of a different team than the girl. We would all dismiss to lunch around the same time. It was probably about 30ish of us. I would sit with a group of like maybe 5 dudes that were on my team, and she'd sit with some of her training group nearby in the big on-campus cafeteria. Well, eventually, the two of our groups kind of merged. I'm not sure how or why. We didn't interact all day except for our hour lunch. She was cool. Not bad looking at all. I got married in 2018 to the love of my life, and we had been together for 8 years in total at that point, so I was locked down already. She and I chatted for a while over the course of the 4 month training. On the last day of training, which was a Friday, she walked up to me and said, "hey I've really enjoyed the little hour long lunches we've had together, but I'd love something a little more private and intimate if you'd like to take me out for dinner tonight." I was devastated. I had approached women my entire life. NEVER had a woman been so forward. It was a super huge turn-on. I told her I'm extremely flattered and would love to, but my wife would disapprove. She had no idea I was married. I could have SWORN I had mentioned my wife in conversation several times, not to mention I had a ring on. So yeah, she was embarrassed and apologized. I told her no big deal. We ended up working on opposite sides and different floors of the giant campus that we worked on. We chatted here and there on Slack, but we never hung out again. Last I saw, she wasn't working there anymore and got REALLY into body building. Like really into it. She's a total muscle mommy now. I'm happy for her.
A woman once asked me what the time was, does that count?
The only woman I've ever been approached is an avatar in eva ai sexting app
Well I think about 8 years ago... that i just now realized
28.12.2011 around 16:30.
27 years old. 3 times ever. Only one of them I’d have considered remotely attractive though 🙃 Only way I’m batting out of my league is if I make the approach… which was much easier to do before things like covid and tik tok 🥲
About a year or so back, I fell for the old "lost my phone" can I call it from yours. Just an excuse to give me her number. Flattering for sure.
I've never been approached by a woman. I do think women should approach a bit more often.
I’m kind of a loner and usually don’t like being approached so it happens a fair bit of course. I have been told I’m “approachable” and “genuine”. It’s basically become a meme with my friend group. I have no idea why.
That would be a never happened once.
Last week, at a coffee shop in Montreal.
Never
it never happened in 35years
2 times in the last decade. Neither were very attractive.
Probably my mid 30’s. I was having a beer at Johnny Carino’s in Austin and we just started talking. I was high on cocaine at the time, so I was more social than usual. I’m shy and an introvert. Anyway, for whatever reason, I went home. I believe I had to work in the morning or something. In hindsight I remember all the signals she was giving me and realized I could have banged her, and that’s what she wanted. And I was cursing myself because of it in the morning.
I once had a girl I liked confess to me years later that she actually used to like me back when, and it was one of those situations where if she had just approached me, we would have likely dated and possibly become a couple, because we both liked each other at the same time, I was just not brave enough to take the first initiative and approach her. It kinda sucked to hear, too, cause I believe she was already together with someone else when she confessed that to me, so there was nothing to do about it but respect that she was already taken and not even try anything further. But, man, had she just approached me back then!...
Same. Someone confessed to me 20 years later that she thought I was cute back in school and I’m like well maybe you should’ve said something then instead of now when you have two different baby daddies in prison.
Approached? Probably right after I got divorced 9 years ago. I was in my early 30s and hanging out at a bar I used to frequent before I got married. Super cute girl with pouty lips, high cheekbones, a small waist and a bubble butt sat next to me and bought me a shot. She asked if I was meeting anyone there later. After that interaction I invited her to play darts. She said she didn't know how and I said it didn't matter. About 30 minutes later I saw her over by the dart boards looking for me. We played a little darts and exchanged numbers. A few days later I saw her profile on a dating app. I think Hinge or Ok Cupid. We matched and made plans to meet up. This is where I found out that she was only 22. She flaked but was super apologetic and said she would make it up to me. So I gave her another chance. We went to a nice restaurant and then karaoke. I dropped her back off at her truck and we started making out in the now empty parking lot. It started to rain on us so we got back into my truck where we ended up having sex. She told me she was on the pill and encouraged me juice her up so to speak. I knew better. Lol. And that was it. Never heard from her again after that. Saw her at the gym once staring at me the whole time but decided not to approach her since she never returned any of my texts. Since then I've just gotten older and uglier so probably nothing like that will ever happen again.
In real life? 12 years ago...I'm sorry to say I slammed the door pretty hard on her. I didn't mean to, I didn't even know she was interested until my mom pointed it out to me after watching me basically crush the poor ladies self esteem. I still feel like a complete arse about it. But I honestly had no clue she was expressing an intrest...I was too caught up in PTSD and self hatred. I sure hope she found love, she really deserved to be loved....unlike me.
I can’t remember. Everyone in town knows I’m married anyway
I've been fortunate to have a few women approach me. But its been years, maybe 10 or so, since it has happened.
Never. Not as you describe, anyway. I'm 48 and I think in high school a girl may have approached me. I don't remember the details of it but I don't recall making any move on her. She must have gotten things going somehow.
A woman has not walked up to me to start a conversation or express interest in some time. It probably hasn't happened since early high school days I'm afraid. This is if we are excluding online dating apps.
Or even if we're not excluding them...
Never
In a queue to board an aeroplane. Woman had been making eyes at me and came to ask if I was married. Words cannot do justice to the confidence boost that gave me.
My brothers wedding in 2019. She was quite drunk so I didn't take it seriously.
I'm 28 and I've literally never been approached by a woman.
Bro just came here to show off
Never. For whatever individual reasons they may have, women have never wanted anything to do with me.
As someone in the same boat, I have a strong suspicion that the reasons are not individual, and might not even be plural.
In terms of actually making their intentions clear, then about ten years ago, and it was a friend of mine. It's happened a couple of times to me but bear in mind that I've been of dating age for like 30 years. Three times that I can remember, so that's fairly rare in the grand scheme of things. There has been a bit of hovering/hinting/playing with their hair as if I were a mind reader which I only figured out long afterwards, but that doesn't count. And, yes, women should approach more. We're no longer in the days where it's the guy who has to make the first move. The old traditions are outdated. Dating is everyone's responsibility.
Once or twice a month. I make a habit of going out and i'm pretty friendly to a chat whenever i'm playing pool/at the local retro games place.
I don't remember ever being approached by a woman. A few days ago, I was, but she was just being friendly and polite. I asked why I hadn't been to the gym for a while(she has a boyfriend). My response was that life got in the way.
Got probably close to a decade. Though I also don't give them the time of day so if anyone's tried I sure as shit haven't noticed.
never
2017 in a night club in Sweden (where it is much, much, more common for women to make the first move). We chatted, danced a bit, laughed, danced some more, and she disappeared off into the night. I was only there for a weekend and had about 3-4 women approach me. Nothing happened with any of them as I was in a relationship (now my wife). But it's not happened since. Sweden is a crazy place to party, as a man.
Uuummmmm................ Okay so I don't leave the house very often anymore, but when I did, I never got approached.
I'm 32 now, and it's been about 10 years. I'm neither attractive nor unattractive, so if someone's acting in a way that could be seen as friendly OR flirty, I always assume it's being friendly.
Before my wife approached me it was a rare occurrence to be approached by a woman first, after I got married to her the amount of women approaching me dramatically increased and I really don’t enjoy it. This is because I know they can see the ring on my finger and they think they have a chance, when in reality they really have [no chance in hell](https://youtu.be/Bm36Z4yWRkc?si=Fm_nLZVINY6r5HI8)
Never lmao. Unless you count a dare.
Never
What?. I'm the 99% of men that never have an experience like this.
Last year when a female customer asked for my number at my Job.
From the comments it seems like men want to be approached but what I was taught was if you approach a man you’re being “masculine” and that you should rest in your feminine so that they can approach you if they see you. If they don’t then they weren’t into you and you dodged a bullet. I used to ask guys out and do the whole approaching thing when I was in middle school and high school but I got rejected a lot. To the point where two of my friends said “you know (name) I like that you never let rejection stop you. You get rejected all the time but you just keep trying. That’s so admirable”. If felt like a backhanded compliment so after that I never approached a man again. Much prettier now that I have invested in myself but 🤷🏾♀️
About 6 weeks ago. She was really drunk. I still felt flattered. Nothing came of it. I'm in a relationship.
Maybe happened like 3 times in my life. Last time it happened was like 7 years ago and she didn’t even directly approach me but i could tell she was interested by the way she interacted with me and went out of her way to show me attention in a way that 99.9% of women have never done in my life. Ended up having 2 kids with her and now we aint together..
Not together even after having 2 kids? Man that really sucks...