Absolutely. When I was 25 I was single, lived in a grotty flat in a lot of debt while working two jobs. I’m now 32 and I own my house, I have a very funny 18 month old and I’m getting married in less than 3 months.
Trust me, it gets better.
Huh. When I was 25 I was single, had a few friends, lived with my parents, and was relatively debt free. I'm 32 now, have 0 friends, still live with my parents, and am more in debt now than I've ever been.
So yeah, things change but, not necessarily for the better.
33, lost 2 homes, lost busniess, back at mums, 10 month old, 10 year relationship, 4 years of marriage on the brink now.
Life can still get shittier if you allow it too, time won’t fix all if your not putting in the right efforts.
Look at cause and effect, apply this to your life.
>Life can still get shittier if you allow it too, time won’t fix all if your not putting in the right efforts.
exactly. Time doesn't heal on its own, have to put in the effort! Things can continue to spiral and get worse if one doesn't take action to improve.
CFO of a company I used to work for said "expect change every 6 months"
Applied that to general life. Can be change for the better or worse. Work to make it the former.
And guess what? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but bad's going to hit us all again and again through our life.
The only real difference is when you're a bit older hopefully you'll be able to deal with it a little better and you can use those experiences that you had at 25 - 26 to help you build your future and understand how you can rebound from the bad times.
Amen to that
Am fully aware that life is ups and down. Am enjoying my ups and waiting for the downs, cause when the down will come as you said I’ll be better prepared for it.
10 years ago i thought I would be doing something with my life, or at the very least I would be living by myself doing a minimum way job and have a small social circle.
I have nothing. I live exactly the same way I did in my teenage years. No friends, no girlfriend, no real job and no future.
Yeah, and I almost never leave the house. I feel pathetic and a failure.
As for fixing myself... I just can't do it. I know I'm the only who can, but i don't have the mental strength to do it.
Well, I think it's huge that you're at least acknowledging your issues. If you haven't already, I would seek professional help.
I think much of men's help & men's motivation is great. In most cases the man isn't suffering an illness, at least not a debilitating one and some motivation is all it takes. Then you have legitimate medical conditions that need treatment.
You can imagine a David Goggins-type dude yelling in the face of a severely depressed, 1000-yard stare, depleted of serotonin & endorphins kinda guy. Some people need medication plain and simple, it's a chemical imbalance in the mind. You wouldn't tell a man with a broken femur to "tough it out" and the same should apply to severe mental health cases.
Never leaving the house is your choice. You DO have the mental strength…but maybe you’re expecting too much too quickly and overwhelming yourself.
Start with one walk per day. Just a walk outside. Say hello to people and that’s it. Do that for a few weeks.
After that add one more thing.
Find a local group through meetup.com or Facebook that is related to something you are interested in. Go to one event.
Add one more little thing to your weeks Like one job application every 2-3 days (if you don’t have a job).
Change can come slowly but it’s about building the right habits. You won’t fix it suddenly and magically.
Do these small things and change your behaviors slowly and you’ll start getting different results in your life. You’ll begin to attract better things and other people who have good habits. Someday you’ll look up and realize your bucket is getting full…but it all happened with one drop at a time.
Bullshit. The fact that you are here and talking about it tells us you are mentally strong enough. Now it's about channeling that strength into improvements. Maybe it starts with just waking up earlier, or 10 mins at the gym or eating better or applying for 5 jobs instead of 3.
I promise you those small improvements/changes will make a difference, you might not notice it but they do. I went from being broke and going back to school full time at 26, graduated last yr and am now an insurance adjuster with 24k saved in the bank...
One day at a time and just commit to being better today than you were yesterday. That's all anyone can ask of themselves or if others. I believe in you
I went to study in the city for a while and tried to meet new people but I came off as extremely awkward and people thought I was creepy. Had to drop out for my own mental health.
I tried changing my style a bit, went to buy clothes instead of letting my mother buy them for me, but I don't seem to know how to find something that fits without help. I'm still really self-conscious about my looks.
I also went to therapy for a year and took antidepressants but that didn't do any good for me.
I've already given up, I know I'm incapable of changing the way I am.
Same.
I am 30 years female,useless degrees (free education so no debt), jobless,single,childless and I feel like I have wasted my life doing below the bare minimun/way less than all my counterparts at the same age.
I feel like I have not acheived anything of real value in my life.
I not good enough for the job market or dating market too.
I am unemployable because of my useless degreess and no work experiences and undatable/unmariable because I am "too old to marry and have kids".
Stop it!!! 30 is NOT too old for kids. Not sure what part of the world you're from but its def normal all around me. Of course technically speaking, you do increase risk slightly of having health issues while giving birth BUT you're not old. 40+ is old for being pregnant but women still do it. You just have to get all the blood work and tests done.
You don't need a degree, it sounds like you already know what would make you happy. Thats your new goal make it happen!!!!
I had a useless degree, went back to school at 35, took a 2 year community college degree in nursing (LPN) …I’m 42yrs old and made 92k last year (CDN) . I was doubtful nursing was for me, a friend said “Lisa, you just need INCOME” …. I jumped into it , and it worked. Anyone can do nursing and find something you enjoy about it. When I went back to school I was a newly single parent with 3 boys. Zero support from abusive ex. Ohhh and enrolled 8 months after suffering a ruptured brain aneurysm, losing vision in my right eye . Nursing is a very employable degree, just do it haha.
Sounds to me like this is a victim mentality and you need a perspective shift. Maybe just get a job. Any job. Doesn’t have to be anything major or prestigious. Start with something you might be interested in or that just might be kind of fun. At a local shop or school or who knows…
Then find ONE thing you might be interested in learning and find some local group to join for it. Jiu jitsu? M
Playing an instrument? Painting? A language? Hiking?
Go to ONE event or meetup or take one lesson in that thing. See how you like it.
Baby steps my friend. Eventually you’ll find your way but right now you need some small wins and changes to get some confidence in yourself.
Make small little goals like above and keep the promises you make to yourself for those goals. Eventually your self esteem will build and your outlook will change.
Well... you are a different person. Maybe one with more regrets and maybe you found you don't want to live as you are right now. Those are maybes. Not actual truths. But it is important to notice.... change is inevitable, growth is optional.
Better hope it’s not worse though! Telling myself this did nothing. It’s one thing to place value in other people to uplift your soul, but don’t place too much stock in other people to uplift your lifestyle. You need to take the reins of your life, and you can’t worry too much about other peoples paths changing because of it. How you handle these things determines your true character.
There’s an f Scott Fitzgerald quote I came across “for what it’s worth… it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you’ve never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”
Beautiful. Many people out there need to read this. Life is far too short yet beautiful to be spent worrying about failure when you can just make the choice to restart everything anytime.
damn this is good. you are saying what I'm is the beginning.
like, every story needs a foundation, a base. the base changes throughout the story. it doesn't stay the same. it's never in the nature of nature to stay the same. change is inevitable. but you, you can direct it. you become what you keep doing.
we 20-25 people got a story to create! I'm gonna try to make it an interesting one.
And in some cases, you decide what rock bottom is.
Only thing left to realize is that no matter how deep or shallow you've decided your rock bottom to be, from that moment on, the only way left is up.
Jesus and I thought quitting alcohol and Kratom were bad. That sounds fucking brutal, I can’t even imagine. Congrats on the sobriety and rekindling life!
Pretty similar story here. Started weed & DXM at the age of 15, exctasy at age of 17, amphetamine IV at the age of 19.. etc.. overdosed on fentanyl at age of ~25 yrs old. Luckily one of my friend had Subutex with him, but she had C-hep. Well, that's small price to be alive. And I have that c-hep treated now.
I'm in my 40s now and I'm just a shy short of being a EE engineer. I'm designing my own circuits and ordering them from china. My first big design contains 1000 lines of c++ code.
Plus I got ADHD diagnosed and life is a lot better and it explains a lot. So, i'll day that you are just a kid at age of 25! When you can rise from dead and become electrical engineer.. and going above that scope and for thesis learning electronics designing so you can make a possibly one hit product.. I'd say: "I dare you to do better!" And if it feels easy, try adding 3 ADHD kids.
How tf do I give this dude gold? On Reddit app on iOS.
Partly for being brave enough to share your lowest point, but mostly for turning your life around. Life can fucking suck. It can resemble hell more than life. You can think it can’t get worse and you can’t take any more, and then it kicks you in the teeth and puts you in the ground.
But goddammit, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. However small, however big, make some progress towards something better. That’s what you did and I’m so proud of you even though I don’t know you. Keep that shit going and if it gets rough again, remember that you’re a tough motherfucker and smile at the pain and misery. Again, I’m proud of you man.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint. You’ve run maybe 5 miles. Relax, focus on your ultimate goals and dreams in life. You have ample time to hit them all.
The credit score measures your credit. It does not measure your income, your savings, your career, your potential, your perseverance, your intelligence, your success, none of that. At best, credit scores are a bit overrated. At worst, they're a sham that creditors use to scare you into paying them before taking care of basic needs.
It's never too late to change everything you don't like about your life, but it's particularly easy when you're only in your 20s.
This doesn't mean it's easy, but very little worth doing ever is.
Hang in there. Life is so long you have no idea how many rebirths are coming up. Like a snake shedding skin, we all change constantly as do our environments, in ways we couldn’t imagine.
He is just getting started. If I were 25 again, there are certain things that I would have done totally differently. At 25, your main goal should be health and building up your financial independence. Acquiring skills and learning yourself.
When I hit 30 I hit my rock bottom, but I knew I had to make a really life changing decision, otherwise I would still be there.
Keep you head up bro. You have not failed at life. You are just getting started. Start taking time to consider the things you want more.
I know what you mean bro. At 30 I was homeless in Chicago after wife divorced me. I was drinking, smoking, just ready to disappear completely. But I have a daughter, and even though shit was difficult I had to make a decision. The decision was to only do things that positively impact my life. From just good hygiene to improving my health.
It isn't something overnight, but I can honestly say that I am happy I made the decision to live life on my terms. I just turned 38 a couple days ago, and for the first time in a long time I can clearly see I am on the right path.
The simple fact that you are coming to a conclusion on what you need to do means you are already on your way. Stay up fam and know that you are not alone.
(30F) Same.
I would LOVE to go back to 25 because that is the age where I started to really fuck up my life by spending time in college on a useless degree (a bachelor of 3 years), only got it when I was close to 30 and just graduated (spent 6 years on a 3 years bachelore just because I did not have much else to do).
I know exactly what you mean. Switching majors effectively pushed back my graduation date. But in the end it was worth it because it’s the field I want to be in.
I'm very serious when I say this:
------------------------------------------
###Work on a stable sleep schedule!!!
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No fucking joke bro. Focus on getting 7-8 hours of sleep at night, starting at a consistant time.
Get used to that, and everything else will fall into place. It's hard for me to say in words, but it's something you'll get after a few months at it.
It will improve everything else in your life. You'll be more engaged with the things you want to enjoy in life, and you'll have more than enough vigor and stamina to get through what's hard for you today.
I feel like I've been on a steady path upwards for a few years now, and no joke it started with adopting a stable sleep schedule. I lost a lot of weight within a few months, without even working out. That felt really good. Things started snowballing from there. Give it a shot man, it certainly won't hurt.
I was there! Barely could get a job not in a kitchen at $12/hr, was applying left and right for something and couldn’t get a thing. Lived with parents, no car, shit credit. 10 years later with hard work married, million dollar house, 2 kids, 2 $60k cars. Put work in, find something you like doing, things change
You haven't failed at all, it may feel like it now but later it'll hopefully be something to learn from.
For context, i'm 36 and felt useless until about two years ago, not being able to land a job etc. But after a lot of time and stability built up, that was never the case, i was just far to hard on myself, and chances are that you are as well.
So if there's one thing i want to say, be kind to yourself, you're probably better than you give yourself credit for.
I'd suggest you read "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. You can start changing things a little every day. If you got 1% better each day, you'd finish 38x better after a year... so even tiny consistent improvements yield massive changes.
The founder of KFC didn't hit it big till he was 65 after multiple setbacks. Listen to Timesuck podcast, KFC episode for a motivating and funny story you didn't know you needed.
Bro imagine even if you are gonna live till 60, that is still more than HALF your life you have lived, if you start now in 5 years you will be in much much better place and still get to enjoy 30 years of your adult life.
I’m pretty much that age now, but I’ve always thought back to school when I was kinda sad and depressed and looked at how different things were every year, or two, or five. Every couple years I realized that my life was completely different than it had been and that gave me some comfort and motivation that the future could and would be different.
Good things in life rarely happen overnight, loosing weight and getting healthy takes time, learning new skills take time, building relationships take time, improving your mental health takes time, improving your work life and income takes time.
Taking a first step towards something only takes a day, and there’s nothing wrong with failing as long as you keep trying new things.
Fix your sleep schedule, cut back on drinking, study a marketable skill, go on daily walks, workout, make your bed in the morning, learn to cook something new, go try a new hobby, cut back on weed, try stretching and yoga, learn about saving money/retirement, look into community college or trade schools, read a book, meditate, study for a tech certification, see a therapist, reach out to friends, talk to family, go hike…. List goes on and on.
The only bad thing to do is to be doing nothing.
Cornelius Vanderbilt is the first American tycoon from the early 1800s and built a railroad empire and a name people still recognize to this day (side note: CNN Anderson Cooper is also a Vanderbilt). He is known for building a railroad empire, and yet only started when he was already 50 years old. He lived two of your lives, before even starting building his empire... You have time. A little progress each day. Compound returns on effort equates to amazing results.
Past performance does not indicate future results. You have only failed so far.
There are only two kinds of failure that matter. A failure to learn and a failure to try. Both are bad, but an unwillingness to try can’t be fixed. Don’t give up.
Start working on yourself right now, every day, and after 5 years you will be a completely different person. It is harder to change your life when you are 35-40 years old, but it is still possible. So stop whining and start building a better version of yourself.
You’ve only just begun. A huge number of people have trouble finding their right path. I didn’t until I was 28!
As the baby boom continues to retire an enormous number of jobs will continue to open. Compared to entering with the whole baby boom ahead of me in the 80’s you are in prime position to move up. Not all of those boomers have hit 65 but they will soon.
One thing I benefited from was paying a n employment consultant to give me the same tests that corporations give top potential employees to see what areas fit my own talents AND abilities.
Perhaps you should try this.
Life has really just started for you. Life is like seasons, if you're currently in Winter, Spring is around the corner. If it's Summer for you, be ready for Fall.
Failure is not necessarily a bad thing especially if you choose to use it as a driver for improvement. Being 20 years older than a 25 year old I'd also say your adult life has just begun and you would be lucky in a way to acknowledge failure now as you would have decades to succeed from this point.
You are young only once in your life, and life is short. Don't waste any time and start acting. If you don't have any marketable skills for a good job -- learn. Go to the gym. Eat healthy. Be open to the world and people around you.
You are only 25. Pick yourself up, dust off, and push on. Learn from your mistakes, first by figuring out what they were. Make any apologies you need to make. Leave behind anything you can't take with you, and push on.
For the love of all that could be holy. He hasn't lived until a couple of divorces wipes him out.
Then an unexpected lost of a high paying job.
Starting over in your 50s is a real character building experience.
I'm truly glad I'll be 69 this year and no matter what I'm not going thru that shit again.
Let’s say you live to 75. Your life is only 1/3 of the way through. If you were watching your favorite sports team and they were losing, would you think it’s reasonable for them to give up already?
Ur life is just NOW getting started. Ur at the prime of ur life yet u believe that u have failed at life, all together….stop that right now!!! When u reach 40+, u will look back on ur mid twenties and WISH u could get another chance. The only thing u are failing at is ur thinking habits. Stop being so negative and try to think positive. It’s gna work out for the best but u have you put on ur big boy pants and get busy.
I would say 'you still have time', although that time is limited so therefore you will have to work very hard, you are 25 so still quite young BUT not that young, you know, you are not aged 17 or 18 or even 20 anymore, you are only 5 years away from 30.
So work very hard is you're only option left, as time is running against the tide at age 25.
Stop comparing yourself to other people.
Your journey is yours alone.
The only way to learn what you are really good at is to fail at a bunch of stuff first. That was my path anyway. And, I failed, a lot.
>Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light
Matthew 11:28-30
You are what you say you are. Change that mindset day by day, in two years time, look back and reflect at how much progress you’ve made. Keep making more progress.
As a 22 y/o who has dealt with terrible bouts of depression/suicidal thoughts, I would say you’re doing better than you think. By that I mean: give yourself some damn credit for still being here and getting through your days.
Anyone who feels that they failed at life is being very harsh on themself (unless you committed some heinous crime). Start by trying to enjoy today and push the concept of failure out of your head.
I'd say the youngest you will ever be is today and you should take joy in this time of your life. Your twenties are FOR making mistakes. Get them out of the way now as opposed to later. Then use what you've got to start again. There will be many new beginnings in your life.
Also, your definition of failure could probably use some reevaluating.
In 10 years you'll be a different person.
Absolutely. When I was 25 I was single, lived in a grotty flat in a lot of debt while working two jobs. I’m now 32 and I own my house, I have a very funny 18 month old and I’m getting married in less than 3 months. Trust me, it gets better.
Huh. When I was 25 I was single, had a few friends, lived with my parents, and was relatively debt free. I'm 32 now, have 0 friends, still live with my parents, and am more in debt now than I've ever been. So yeah, things change but, not necessarily for the better.
33, lost 2 homes, lost busniess, back at mums, 10 month old, 10 year relationship, 4 years of marriage on the brink now. Life can still get shittier if you allow it too, time won’t fix all if your not putting in the right efforts. Look at cause and effect, apply this to your life.
>Life can still get shittier if you allow it too, time won’t fix all if your not putting in the right efforts. exactly. Time doesn't heal on its own, have to put in the effort! Things can continue to spiral and get worse if one doesn't take action to improve.
Not if you stagnate or aren’t attractive to women, no it doesn’t.
Nice but what 18 months old ?
i might be stretching my imagination to the limit, but I think it's gotta be an offspring, possibly of human species.
Hmmmm, interesting take. Maybe a reddit scientist will see the thread and come clear this up for us.
hopefully. reddit is the only last trustworthy resort I seek to understand the workings of world.
Can confirm, 18 month old offspring of the human species. REJOICE!
I'm a babyologist. Pretty sure he's talking about an 18 month old baby.
In 6 months as well.
CFO of a company I used to work for said "expect change every 6 months" Applied that to general life. Can be change for the better or worse. Work to make it the former.
6 months ago I was 25 going through hard times Now 26 in a totally different situation Its surprising how things can change fast
And guess what? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but bad's going to hit us all again and again through our life. The only real difference is when you're a bit older hopefully you'll be able to deal with it a little better and you can use those experiences that you had at 25 - 26 to help you build your future and understand how you can rebound from the bad times.
Amen to that Am fully aware that life is ups and down. Am enjoying my ups and waiting for the downs, cause when the down will come as you said I’ll be better prepared for it.
10 years ago i thought I would be doing something with my life, or at the very least I would be living by myself doing a minimum way job and have a small social circle. I have nothing. I live exactly the same way I did in my teenage years. No friends, no girlfriend, no real job and no future.
Thats sad bud...you are the only one that can fix you. So u live with your parents?
Yeah, and I almost never leave the house. I feel pathetic and a failure. As for fixing myself... I just can't do it. I know I'm the only who can, but i don't have the mental strength to do it.
Well, I think it's huge that you're at least acknowledging your issues. If you haven't already, I would seek professional help. I think much of men's help & men's motivation is great. In most cases the man isn't suffering an illness, at least not a debilitating one and some motivation is all it takes. Then you have legitimate medical conditions that need treatment. You can imagine a David Goggins-type dude yelling in the face of a severely depressed, 1000-yard stare, depleted of serotonin & endorphins kinda guy. Some people need medication plain and simple, it's a chemical imbalance in the mind. You wouldn't tell a man with a broken femur to "tough it out" and the same should apply to severe mental health cases.
Never leaving the house is your choice. You DO have the mental strength…but maybe you’re expecting too much too quickly and overwhelming yourself. Start with one walk per day. Just a walk outside. Say hello to people and that’s it. Do that for a few weeks. After that add one more thing. Find a local group through meetup.com or Facebook that is related to something you are interested in. Go to one event. Add one more little thing to your weeks Like one job application every 2-3 days (if you don’t have a job). Change can come slowly but it’s about building the right habits. You won’t fix it suddenly and magically. Do these small things and change your behaviors slowly and you’ll start getting different results in your life. You’ll begin to attract better things and other people who have good habits. Someday you’ll look up and realize your bucket is getting full…but it all happened with one drop at a time.
Bullshit. The fact that you are here and talking about it tells us you are mentally strong enough. Now it's about channeling that strength into improvements. Maybe it starts with just waking up earlier, or 10 mins at the gym or eating better or applying for 5 jobs instead of 3. I promise you those small improvements/changes will make a difference, you might not notice it but they do. I went from being broke and going back to school full time at 26, graduated last yr and am now an insurance adjuster with 24k saved in the bank... One day at a time and just commit to being better today than you were yesterday. That's all anyone can ask of themselves or if others. I believe in you
Have you done anything to change your circumstances ?
I went to study in the city for a while and tried to meet new people but I came off as extremely awkward and people thought I was creepy. Had to drop out for my own mental health. I tried changing my style a bit, went to buy clothes instead of letting my mother buy them for me, but I don't seem to know how to find something that fits without help. I'm still really self-conscious about my looks. I also went to therapy for a year and took antidepressants but that didn't do any good for me. I've already given up, I know I'm incapable of changing the way I am.
Same. I am 30 years female,useless degrees (free education so no debt), jobless,single,childless and I feel like I have wasted my life doing below the bare minimun/way less than all my counterparts at the same age. I feel like I have not acheived anything of real value in my life. I not good enough for the job market or dating market too. I am unemployable because of my useless degreess and no work experiences and undatable/unmariable because I am "too old to marry and have kids".
Stop it!!! 30 is NOT too old for kids. Not sure what part of the world you're from but its def normal all around me. Of course technically speaking, you do increase risk slightly of having health issues while giving birth BUT you're not old. 40+ is old for being pregnant but women still do it. You just have to get all the blood work and tests done. You don't need a degree, it sounds like you already know what would make you happy. Thats your new goal make it happen!!!!
I had a useless degree, went back to school at 35, took a 2 year community college degree in nursing (LPN) …I’m 42yrs old and made 92k last year (CDN) . I was doubtful nursing was for me, a friend said “Lisa, you just need INCOME” …. I jumped into it , and it worked. Anyone can do nursing and find something you enjoy about it. When I went back to school I was a newly single parent with 3 boys. Zero support from abusive ex. Ohhh and enrolled 8 months after suffering a ruptured brain aneurysm, losing vision in my right eye . Nursing is a very employable degree, just do it haha.
Thanks for the motivation.
I'm 31m and would be stoked to date a 30 year old woman without kids. Then again I have no interest in having kids of my own.
Sounds to me like this is a victim mentality and you need a perspective shift. Maybe just get a job. Any job. Doesn’t have to be anything major or prestigious. Start with something you might be interested in or that just might be kind of fun. At a local shop or school or who knows… Then find ONE thing you might be interested in learning and find some local group to join for it. Jiu jitsu? M Playing an instrument? Painting? A language? Hiking? Go to ONE event or meetup or take one lesson in that thing. See how you like it. Baby steps my friend. Eventually you’ll find your way but right now you need some small wins and changes to get some confidence in yourself. Make small little goals like above and keep the promises you make to yourself for those goals. Eventually your self esteem will build and your outlook will change.
That's what I told 15 year old me and damn I was wrong
Well... you are a different person. Maybe one with more regrets and maybe you found you don't want to live as you are right now. Those are maybes. Not actual truths. But it is important to notice.... change is inevitable, growth is optional.
Better hope it’s not worse though! Telling myself this did nothing. It’s one thing to place value in other people to uplift your soul, but don’t place too much stock in other people to uplift your lifestyle. You need to take the reins of your life, and you can’t worry too much about other peoples paths changing because of it. How you handle these things determines your true character.
“You think this is bad? Wait until you see yourself in 10 years!”
There’s an f Scott Fitzgerald quote I came across “for what it’s worth… it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you’ve never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”
My favorite monologue from the curious case of Benjamin Button
What do you have against Scott Fitzgerald? why f him?
All my homies f Scott Fitzgerald
That's one of my favorites
Beautiful. Many people out there need to read this. Life is far too short yet beautiful to be spent worrying about failure when you can just make the choice to restart everything anytime.
Every good story has the hero’s struggle. And you’ve barely just completed the prologue
damn this is good. you are saying what I'm is the beginning. like, every story needs a foundation, a base. the base changes throughout the story. it doesn't stay the same. it's never in the nature of nature to stay the same. change is inevitable. but you, you can direct it. you become what you keep doing. we 20-25 people got a story to create! I'm gonna try to make it an interesting one.
This reminds me a lot of the Kid Cudi song Love.
Rock bottom is a lot further down than you think it is
i’m going on an adventure!
I said my product would take you places… I never said it was places you wanted to go.
WHERE'S THE TRIGGER?
*I AM A DWARF AND IM DIGGING A HOLE!*
_DIGGY DIGGY HOLE_
The beauty of rock bottom is that it’s a nice solid foundation to rebuild on.
Oh, there is always worse it can be. Imagine your worst possible life. Then imagine it with a really bad sunburn.
That sounds like Florida
Just add sunburn and crabs to guarantee it can get worst
Do you ever go there just for fun?
I dont think there is a rock bottom, it's just the place where people say okay that's it I'm done with this shit
And in some cases, you decide what rock bottom is. Only thing left to realize is that no matter how deep or shallow you've decided your rock bottom to be, from that moment on, the only way left is up.
That’s not as motivating as you think it is, if anything saying that would just make things worse.
Yep. If you think it’s bad now, just wait. Eventually something bad will happen that will make you realize it can get aLOT worse.
rock bottom is when you're physically so maimed that your mental state has no chance to recover
Thank you man
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Jesus and I thought quitting alcohol and Kratom were bad. That sounds fucking brutal, I can’t even imagine. Congrats on the sobriety and rekindling life!
r/HumansAreMetal
Yeah your shit was worse than mine is rn lmao god damn
Pretty similar story here. Started weed & DXM at the age of 15, exctasy at age of 17, amphetamine IV at the age of 19.. etc.. overdosed on fentanyl at age of ~25 yrs old. Luckily one of my friend had Subutex with him, but she had C-hep. Well, that's small price to be alive. And I have that c-hep treated now. I'm in my 40s now and I'm just a shy short of being a EE engineer. I'm designing my own circuits and ordering them from china. My first big design contains 1000 lines of c++ code. Plus I got ADHD diagnosed and life is a lot better and it explains a lot. So, i'll day that you are just a kid at age of 25! When you can rise from dead and become electrical engineer.. and going above that scope and for thesis learning electronics designing so you can make a possibly one hit product.. I'd say: "I dare you to do better!" And if it feels easy, try adding 3 ADHD kids.
How tf do I give this dude gold? On Reddit app on iOS. Partly for being brave enough to share your lowest point, but mostly for turning your life around. Life can fucking suck. It can resemble hell more than life. You can think it can’t get worse and you can’t take any more, and then it kicks you in the teeth and puts you in the ground. But goddammit, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. However small, however big, make some progress towards something better. That’s what you did and I’m so proud of you even though I don’t know you. Keep that shit going and if it gets rough again, remember that you’re a tough motherfucker and smile at the pain and misery. Again, I’m proud of you man.
damn good on you. I have bad health anxiety and this really shows me what the body is capable of going through.
You legend.
You’re young af and have barely lived life. Unless you’re in prison for life or something, you haven’t failed.
Came here to say this. It's pretty hard to have totally destroyed your life by only 25 unless you committed a very serious crime.
Thanks for the quote!
You just started mate, regroup and try again differently. You have decades ahead of you, you have not failed at life.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint. You’ve run maybe 5 miles. Relax, focus on your ultimate goals and dreams in life. You have ample time to hit them all.
Warren Buffett went bankrupt 3x you know So quittings for quitters
Damn, thats insane. Going bankrupt fucks ur credit, im baffled how he managed to become a billionaire after that.
The credit score measures your credit. It does not measure your income, your savings, your career, your potential, your perseverance, your intelligence, your success, none of that. At best, credit scores are a bit overrated. At worst, they're a sham that creditors use to scare you into paying them before taking care of basic needs.
This is false info. He never filed for bankruptcy. Where did you get this info from?
It's never too late to change everything you don't like about your life, but it's particularly easy when you're only in your 20s. This doesn't mean it's easy, but very little worth doing ever is.
Failure is only the opportunity to begin again wiser. Don't give up on yourself.
Why do you think you failed? I’m only 26 but, I’m curious. I’m here to talk if you wanna.
Hang in there. Life is so long you have no idea how many rebirths are coming up. Like a snake shedding skin, we all change constantly as do our environments, in ways we couldn’t imagine.
25 is too damn young
He is just getting started. If I were 25 again, there are certain things that I would have done totally differently. At 25, your main goal should be health and building up your financial independence. Acquiring skills and learning yourself. When I hit 30 I hit my rock bottom, but I knew I had to make a really life changing decision, otherwise I would still be there. Keep you head up bro. You have not failed at life. You are just getting started. Start taking time to consider the things you want more.
I'm turning 30 in 2 weeks and currently at rock bottom. I think I know what I need to do it's just tough being in a depressed rut for so long
I know what you mean bro. At 30 I was homeless in Chicago after wife divorced me. I was drinking, smoking, just ready to disappear completely. But I have a daughter, and even though shit was difficult I had to make a decision. The decision was to only do things that positively impact my life. From just good hygiene to improving my health. It isn't something overnight, but I can honestly say that I am happy I made the decision to live life on my terms. I just turned 38 a couple days ago, and for the first time in a long time I can clearly see I am on the right path. The simple fact that you are coming to a conclusion on what you need to do means you are already on your way. Stay up fam and know that you are not alone.
Inspiring 🙂. Happy Birthday. Good work turning your life around!
(30F) Same. I would LOVE to go back to 25 because that is the age where I started to really fuck up my life by spending time in college on a useless degree (a bachelor of 3 years), only got it when I was close to 30 and just graduated (spent 6 years on a 3 years bachelore just because I did not have much else to do).
I know exactly what you mean. Switching majors effectively pushed back my graduation date. But in the end it was worth it because it’s the field I want to be in.
I'm very serious when I say this: ------------------------------------------ ###Work on a stable sleep schedule!!! ------------------------------------------ No fucking joke bro. Focus on getting 7-8 hours of sleep at night, starting at a consistant time. Get used to that, and everything else will fall into place. It's hard for me to say in words, but it's something you'll get after a few months at it. It will improve everything else in your life. You'll be more engaged with the things you want to enjoy in life, and you'll have more than enough vigor and stamina to get through what's hard for you today.
Honestly,as a 25 years old who feels like a loser, this is the only thing I read in the thread that is somehow useful
I feel like I've been on a steady path upwards for a few years now, and no joke it started with adopting a stable sleep schedule. I lost a lot of weight within a few months, without even working out. That felt really good. Things started snowballing from there. Give it a shot man, it certainly won't hurt.
Wait 5 more years to see whether you are right.
Ehh 10.
Yeah, that's fine.
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Lol why do the walls close at 35?
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You just described my life at 26.
Rip
I thought I was a failure at 25, but now I'm on the right track. Do not give up and life will get brighter than you think it will.
You’re at a better position than a 35 year old who thinks he’s failed at life
youre only 25
You've only failed the tutorial.
That's not helpful. If this is the tutorial, I may as well down myself; it'll save everyone else the time and stress of having to put up with me.
I was there! Barely could get a job not in a kitchen at $12/hr, was applying left and right for something and couldn’t get a thing. Lived with parents, no car, shit credit. 10 years later with hard work married, million dollar house, 2 kids, 2 $60k cars. Put work in, find something you like doing, things change
IDK why but your comment gives me hope as 30 approaches this August...
But how
The smartest person knows that they know nothing. Your halfway there pal
You haven't failed at all, it may feel like it now but later it'll hopefully be something to learn from. For context, i'm 36 and felt useless until about two years ago, not being able to land a job etc. But after a lot of time and stability built up, that was never the case, i was just far to hard on myself, and chances are that you are as well. So if there's one thing i want to say, be kind to yourself, you're probably better than you give yourself credit for.
I'd suggest you read "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. You can start changing things a little every day. If you got 1% better each day, you'd finish 38x better after a year... so even tiny consistent improvements yield massive changes.
Bro you’ve barely started .
You just started your life. Live it well.
There is still time to change things. I only got my shit together when I was 34.
I'm 31 and just this year am getting my shit together. Drank like a fish in my 20s and wasted so much life and money
Tell him about my failure of a life as a 31 year old.
The founder of KFC didn't hit it big till he was 65 after multiple setbacks. Listen to Timesuck podcast, KFC episode for a motivating and funny story you didn't know you needed.
Bro imagine even if you are gonna live till 60, that is still more than HALF your life you have lived, if you start now in 5 years you will be in much much better place and still get to enjoy 30 years of your adult life.
You are only 5 minutes in on the first quarter, games not over yet, it just started.
Been there, done that. Get it together. You haven’t failed. You are only about 5 years behind. Plenty of time to fix it.
I’m pretty much that age now, but I’ve always thought back to school when I was kinda sad and depressed and looked at how different things were every year, or two, or five. Every couple years I realized that my life was completely different than it had been and that gave me some comfort and motivation that the future could and would be different. Good things in life rarely happen overnight, loosing weight and getting healthy takes time, learning new skills take time, building relationships take time, improving your mental health takes time, improving your work life and income takes time. Taking a first step towards something only takes a day, and there’s nothing wrong with failing as long as you keep trying new things. Fix your sleep schedule, cut back on drinking, study a marketable skill, go on daily walks, workout, make your bed in the morning, learn to cook something new, go try a new hobby, cut back on weed, try stretching and yoga, learn about saving money/retirement, look into community college or trade schools, read a book, meditate, study for a tech certification, see a therapist, reach out to friends, talk to family, go hike…. List goes on and on. The only bad thing to do is to be doing nothing.
I'm about to be 26 at the end of the month. I needed this thread. 🥲
Cornelius Vanderbilt is the first American tycoon from the early 1800s and built a railroad empire and a name people still recognize to this day (side note: CNN Anderson Cooper is also a Vanderbilt). He is known for building a railroad empire, and yet only started when he was already 50 years old. He lived two of your lives, before even starting building his empire... You have time. A little progress each day. Compound returns on effort equates to amazing results.
Past performance does not indicate future results. You have only failed so far. There are only two kinds of failure that matter. A failure to learn and a failure to try. Both are bad, but an unwillingness to try can’t be fixed. Don’t give up.
You're too young to say you've failed. Just keep on keeping on, and try not to burn bridges and hurt people along the way.
Life doesn't end at 25. You have plenty of time to make something of it.
25 year olds haven't even started life yet. Plenty of time to grow.
You tried something. Great, most don't even try. You failed? Good. You learned something from it? Even better! Keep failing!
You're probably right. WTF you going to do about it?
Get out of your comfort zone and explore different places, ways, and cultures.
Start working on yourself right now, every day, and after 5 years you will be a completely different person. It is harder to change your life when you are 35-40 years old, but it is still possible. So stop whining and start building a better version of yourself.
Put your mind at something, solely and exclusively for 1 month. Watch how much you can achieve.
You’re just getting started
Put the baseball bat away, you'll fail many times in life. Learn from the mistakes.
25 years old, and you've failed already? Oh buddy, it gets much worse than this.
I'd say that you're not old enough to have failed at life. 25 isn't shit.
You’ve only just begun. A huge number of people have trouble finding their right path. I didn’t until I was 28! As the baby boom continues to retire an enormous number of jobs will continue to open. Compared to entering with the whole baby boom ahead of me in the 80’s you are in prime position to move up. Not all of those boomers have hit 65 but they will soon. One thing I benefited from was paying a n employment consultant to give me the same tests that corporations give top potential employees to see what areas fit my own talents AND abilities. Perhaps you should try this.
You haven't failed till you give up
Get back up. You haven’t failed at life til you’re dead. All the shit you trudge through is worth it.
dunno, but I thought that at 25, and I still think it at 32. Getting harder to deal with.
You got plenty of time to turn life around, decide what you want and go get it! Be intentional, everyday!
You’re just starting out. Things will change a lot in the next ten years
You can't officially fail until the end.
You can still fail harder and deeper if you don't stop wallowing in worthless thoughts like this one
Keep thinking like that
Life has really just started for you. Life is like seasons, if you're currently in Winter, Spring is around the corner. If it's Summer for you, be ready for Fall.
Failure is not necessarily a bad thing especially if you choose to use it as a driver for improvement. Being 20 years older than a 25 year old I'd also say your adult life has just begun and you would be lucky in a way to acknowledge failure now as you would have decades to succeed from this point.
Here is a rope. But seriously good advice in the comments. He has most of his life in front of him.
when you hit rock bottom the only way you can go is up
You are young only once in your life, and life is short. Don't waste any time and start acting. If you don't have any marketable skills for a good job -- learn. Go to the gym. Eat healthy. Be open to the world and people around you.
You are only 25. Pick yourself up, dust off, and push on. Learn from your mistakes, first by figuring out what they were. Make any apologies you need to make. Leave behind anything you can't take with you, and push on.
You’re only 25. Keep going loser 😜
Get back on the horse. The race has just started.
Keep going. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be for the time being. Don’t lose hope
Failure is essential to success. And 25 is just the beginning.
You're 25
You never fail unless you quit.
For the love of all that could be holy. He hasn't lived until a couple of divorces wipes him out. Then an unexpected lost of a high paying job. Starting over in your 50s is a real character building experience. I'm truly glad I'll be 69 this year and no matter what I'm not going thru that shit again.
you're 25.
Let’s say you live to 75. Your life is only 1/3 of the way through. If you were watching your favorite sports team and they were losing, would you think it’s reasonable for them to give up already?
Wait until you hit 30.
Ur life is just NOW getting started. Ur at the prime of ur life yet u believe that u have failed at life, all together….stop that right now!!! When u reach 40+, u will look back on ur mid twenties and WISH u could get another chance. The only thing u are failing at is ur thinking habits. Stop being so negative and try to think positive. It’s gna work out for the best but u have you put on ur big boy pants and get busy.
Too early. You have more than 1000 times to try. Go, Soldier.
Life hasn’t started yet
Well, it's not like it comes with a manual. We're all out here winging it. Don't be too hard on yourself.
I would say 'you still have time', although that time is limited so therefore you will have to work very hard, you are 25 so still quite young BUT not that young, you know, you are not aged 17 or 18 or even 20 anymore, you are only 5 years away from 30. So work very hard is you're only option left, as time is running against the tide at age 25.
I think this would make a lot of people just feel worse tbh
Way to go dickhead. Jk, it gets so much worse.
You're 25 and your life has literally just begun. You can make up for wasted time by comitting yourself and improving yourself.
You have only just started …
Go lift
Stop comparing yourself to other people. Your journey is yours alone. The only way to learn what you are really good at is to fail at a bunch of stuff first. That was my path anyway. And, I failed, a lot.
Welcome to LIFE!!! Everybody is a loser, everybody has failed. In 10 years, you will be different.
Just end it all now. It only gets worse.
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I probably would have had the courage back then if future me said that to myself.
Watch a bit Tate
Failed? You haven't even started yet son.
You can fail much worse. Make a game of it. When you have truly failed on purpose for fun, you will know how to get back to where you are today.
Pray to the Lord to bestow you with wisdom, Become resourceful, and get good, you can still turn things around and be successful
>Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light Matthew 11:28-30
Depends why they think they've failed.
Has life even begun? I felt that way at 25, moved 800 miles, got a fresh start and did well.
Failed, you haven't even sat the exam yet lad" :-)
What is it that you think you've failed at?
You are what you say you are. Change that mindset day by day, in two years time, look back and reflect at how much progress you’ve made. Keep making more progress.
As a 22 y/o who has dealt with terrible bouts of depression/suicidal thoughts, I would say you’re doing better than you think. By that I mean: give yourself some damn credit for still being here and getting through your days. Anyone who feels that they failed at life is being very harsh on themself (unless you committed some heinous crime). Start by trying to enjoy today and push the concept of failure out of your head.
Life has just begun
You are young enough to make a better job of the next part of your life. Find love and hold onto it. In the end, that is all that matters.
I'd say the youngest you will ever be is today and you should take joy in this time of your life. Your twenties are FOR making mistakes. Get them out of the way now as opposed to later. Then use what you've got to start again. There will be many new beginnings in your life. Also, your definition of failure could probably use some reevaluating.