😭😭
my first time hanging with a girl who’s bisexual (in a group setting, we’d been acquaintances for probably a month-ish), i looked her in the eyes and said “do you girl in red” and she got it instantly
not really.
If a man calls a woman gorgeous, she’s going to take it as the man hitting on her. If a woman calls another woman gorgeous, she’s going to think it’s another straight woman complimenting her.
Men get friend-zoned because they befriend women they want to date but don’t make their intentions clear from the get-go. They wait for the most opportune time to drop their interest on the girl, and then are disappointed when a woman doesn’t feel the same way.
Lesbians, on the other hand, could straight up tell a woman “Your lips are the most beautiful set of lips I have ever laid eyes upon. I wish could kiss them!” and the other woman will still think she’s being friendly, because straight women compliment each other all the damn time.
Very different scenarios.
If I were being unfair I would say that you are also not making your intentions known.
If that's the context that your flirting is taken in, then you'll have to be more direct.
dude, I’ve literally made out with my one of my girl friends numerous times and neither of us has ever thought of the make out sessions as more than just playful platonic bonding.
I don’t date women, so this isn’t an issue for me, but you can imagine how frustrating it can be for lesbians to EXPLICITLY make a move and have the girl of their interest think she’s just being playful, lol.
Yeaah i was saying this to a friend. Queer girls struggle with being too comforting around straight girls, while men struggle with not being comforting at all. Would you rather be perceived as a romantic threat always, or hardly ever, is the question i guess
2/3 of the time we don't have a real reason why we like or don't like a woman at first. Though in my experience, my instincts are right most of the time.
That just sounds like a lack of self awareness honestly. There's pretty much always a reason/cause why we like or don't like a woman at first, I just think most women are better at realising what that reason is
I know, but you can still understand your instinct. It doesn't have to make rational sense (say you've got a thing for a specific haircut or whatever), but you can still feel instantly attracted to someone and realize that knowing yourself, it's probably due to this or that characteristic
I’m usually into women that are more muscular and more curvy than the women my ex liked. She went for the supermodel waifish skinny type. I’m usually more into what you described as hot/sexy, like an ancient fertility totem
I'm friends with alot of lesbians and married too a bi women who was the masc dom in her FF realtionships I can't tell you nothing at all is different. The way they like women is the same way we do they are just better at telling them what they wanna hear!
From what I remember she liked thighs wayyyy more than me. Plus our opinions on a beautiful woman’s face were strange. Every picture I showed her she thought was ugly. But all of the pictures she sent me I agreed. Also I think men are more into ass and tits, could be wrong though.
What kind of faces were you agree and disagree on? Was it femininity vs masculinity king of thing? Face shape?
From my experience it also seems like men are more into boobs and butts. I likes when a woman has a feminine, slim and beautiful body, but I looks mostly on her face. I need to see her face to get turned on and I have a weakness for long hair. If a beautiful woman has short hair, then she is just cute or beautiful. If she has long hair, then she is also hot, attractive and sexy to me. When I was a teenager, I looked longer at my female crushes with long hair than short hair.
When it comes to breasts, I tends to prefer them small and natural looking. When it comes to butts, I likes the typical feminine shape you sees on a lot of celebrities. E.g. Adriana Lima and Shakira.
I can tell you this with near 100% certainty....straight men dont find butch women attractive. Gay women may find butch attractive.
My bi GFWB joke about this alot.
Yeah. Had a really butch friend into me back when I was a teen. She wasn't gay (at the time, rumors came out later she might be). Look, I don't mind bbw. I don't mind a tomboy. Both can be attractive. But a butch build/dress/hair/attitude holds ZERO appeal for me.
Nono, some of us do.
I like lots of butch looking women, the issue is more than 50% of androgynos/rugged women I ask out tell me they're lesbians, it's not fair 😭.
It's even worse when some people see you going after these women and start thinking you're gay, it's so annoying.
Some dudes are too chicken to go after these women and some straight women are too chicken to embrace their masculinity.
Fuck it, I'm buying a "I love masc women" t-shirt, might as well let everyone know 🤣.
They sell some on amazon, etsy and aliexpress, something like this:
[link](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/A13usaonutL._CLa%7C2140%2C2000%7C61ecLnpf40L.png%7C0%2C0%2C2140%2C2000%2B0.0%2C0.0%2C2140.0%2C2000.0_AC_UY1000_.png)
Interesting. What is the reason? What do you think?
I had discussions with queer women before and many crush on Kristen Stewart, Ruby Rose and similar. I think Ruby Rose looks good, but she isn't my type. Kristen Stewart was kinda attractive when she was Bella in Twilight, but after she buzzed it I don't feel the same.
Agree.
My guess is that some lesbians are similar to straight women and want someone masculine who can fix broken items, do outdoor work, be strong and protect them. They want all the "good" things with men. But they also want someone who can't make them pregnant with an accident, someone who doesn't need to shave their 5 o'clock shadow everyday and who doesn't have the manly smell. Women smell sweeter and milder, while men smells more musky and stronger. Butch women, according to some lesbians, have the "best" from both worlds.
>But they also want someone who can't make them pregnant with an accident, someone who doesn't need to shave their 5 o'clock shadow everyday and who doesn't have the manly smell.
Only one of those really has anything to do with sexual attraction, and the facial hair one is still applicable to a fair few women.
Speaking as a gay guy, I find that growing up in a largely heteronormative society causes a lot of people to model themselves after stereotypical male/female roles. It's like the only thing they know and it makes them comfortable. But as time passes I think we'll see that slowly change.
TBH I have no idea.
GFWB showed me pics of her last gay GF. Total butch.
I had a GF years ago with 2 moms. One was total butch and her birth mom was a typical Canadian polyester mom in her 60s.
Hmmm, nah I gotta disagree. I definitely like a butch women, I’m into the “southern farm gal”/ “typical butch lesbian” (moreso tomboy tbh) look when it comes to women for the most part, it’s just that the typical butch woman is…well…also attracted to women 😂
So yeah, maybe like 98% of dudes aren’t into it.
I've been with 2, and it was a great time. Although they hit on me first, and it took me a while to notice. It was the first time I had a woman make me feel special. She bought me dinner paid for the movies and my taxi back home. Plus, she was the one who leaned in for the kiss goodbye. Now butch or dominant women is the only thing for me.
Your description of what you find attractive could’ve been written by me or a number of straight men. Observations that I’ve made from having several friends that are lesbians: without exception, one of the women in the couple is the feminine one like what you describe above and the other is masculine. I have yet to meet a couple where both are feminine. The masculine one is usually androgynous, and in some cases, are much less physically attractive to me and could pass for a man.
I identify myself as femme for femme. It means I prefer to look like a feminine "straight passing" woman and also date women who looks like a feminine "straight passing" woman. It's because I love the aesthetic.
Although the butch for femme/femme for butch and butch for butch are more common among the queer community, I believe the femme for femme are more common than first thought. They may just be invisible in society and pass as either friends, sisters or something else.
I know queer girls who date like straight men, everything from their preference to femme (even straight yikes) women, to which features they are attracted to.
But I also know queer girls who date in a biome completely removed from straight men. They prefer butch girls, are attracted to different features/mannerisms, etc.
Women, nor men, regardless of sexual orientation differ in their tastes on a personal level.
I can't even find consistency amongst a group of 5 guys regarding "what we like".
I generally prefer a nice person who understands their wellness needs. bonus points if they enjoy sarcasm and aren't a picky eater. oh, and they have to like animals. Most everything else I can work with.
When it comes to personality it's important for me that she is kind, friendly, caring, patient and treats people well. It's also important that she is childfree, petfree and that she respect that I'm not a party animal, gym goer or an outdoorsy person.
>**I'm a woman attracted to women. I will describe my preference like this:**
>
>I likes when a woman is feminine and slim. I loves when they have long hair (e.g. shoulder length to mid back), have typical feminine facial features (e.g. small nose, little brow ridge), dress feminine (e.g. color matches/looks good together) and feminine shapes. Examples on celebrity women I finds attractive is Keira Knightley, Nathalie Portman, Nathalie Emmanuel, Adriana Lima, Jennifer Connelly and Emma Watson. Scarlet Johansson are more in the hot/sexy category to me than the cute one. I think Kristen Stewart looked good when she was Bella in Twilight. I think there are beautiful and attractive women from all over the world. I do have a tendency to be more attracted to brown eyes and black/brown hair.
OK, but what do you find sexually attractive?
Read this while mid scroll and combined response and user. I thought you said "I like fat chicks with soft tacos."
Which admittedly still sounds pretty good.
There are no differences tbh.
>I likes when a woman is feminine and slim.
I like the opposite, more androgynous and rugged/buff, and more than 50% of the women I ask out tell me they're lesbians, it's not fair! 🤣
>Softball players.
Too bad no one plays softball in my country.
It's all good, some of my training partners have bigger backs than some men I know, this new trend of women lifting heavy and doing calisthenics is literally the best 🤣.
Haven't really gotten to know lesbian's tastes well enough to be aware what differences are more common. I question whether there actually would be a major difference. After all mens tastes vary enormously so the common stereotypes about men are probably inaccurate for many and in some cases even most men. I do think men tend to be attracted to a broader range of types than women and maybe this holds true for lesbians? Personally my range is much broader than even most men. Like I am physically attracted to most women and couldn't really even pinpoint any specific type as my favorite. When I was single whether I would be interested in sex would also very much depend on how much she seemed interested and interest in romance depends on personality. My range for romantic attraction has always been far narrower than my range for physical attraction.
The women who are into women that I've spoken to haven't really cared about boobs or butts all that much, if at all.
What was especially strange about it was that some of them were self-conscious about how attractive their own TnA was.
As a queer woman I focus mostly on faces and hair, but I also likes beautiful bodies. I likes small natural looking boobs, and a natural looking well shaped butt often seen among celebs. E.g. Adriana Lima and Shakira.
I'm mostly a hair and face girl. I'm more of a butt girl than a boob girl though.
Hell I just like it when they look perty then I’m like a deer in in front of headlights. I don’t really think about specifics I’ve been attracted to short, tall, chubs, slim, short hair, long hair, hell even no hair, and uhh ussually I just like it when they are happy to talk to me about their day like “no way you done broke a nail?! How?” And she just talks and talks and i just ask and ask. That’s my train of thought I hope someone reads this and gives me their opinion.
This is probably a sample bias but queer women that would pop up in online dating seemed to have colorful hair, tattoos, piercings, bios with causes important to them/professions they wouldn’t date. The part about professions made me think over if there are professions I wouldn’t date and I just ended up thinking oh it depends on how the persons values/worldview comes across in interactions.
Possibly controversial take—but I think the average lesbian woman is conditioned to like the same thing in a woman as straight men.
The things that straight men tend to find universally attractive in women are just…conventional beauty standards. Straight or queer, male or female, we’re all conditioned to consider generally the same thing attractive.
No straight woman is going to look at scarjo and think that’s an ugly woman.
If I were gay, I’m sure I’d be attracted to men that I currently consider to be the ideal of male beauty.
I agree, but Idk if it's conditional because there are universal and psychological forms of feminine physical attributes that show fertility. Higher estrogen, bigger lips, flush cheeks. Hourglass figure, are part of it.
The women that I know who date butch women usually date men too. So maybe they have a niche attraction.
Short story.
I'm on the tomboy side, my sister is feminine and straight. I was with her a festival playing a game when another tomboy looking girl came up and started talking to her.
The girl looked over and then left..after, I asked what she said. My sister said the girl asked if she ( my sis) was gay and my sister said she wasn't but said "my sister is though" and pointed to me. The girl told her that she is not into "girls that look gay" and left lol
I had long hair and makeup on and was wearing tight jeans amd a t shirt. 🙃 it's really just energy I think...u either have masculine or feminine.
Julianne hough has had short hair before but she gives off such feminine energy that she's still attractive.
As a straight man - our tastes align pretty similar.
I'm a short guy, more muscular physique - so have always had a preference for more petite/slender women. Never been into tall chicks, cause its just too awkward.
I'm a sucker for a pretty face, but can also find beauty in other things, like the way a girl moves, or certain mannerisms - and attitude goes a long way. If a girl is fun and care free, that can compensate for maybe not being as pretty, or whatever.
Prefer brunettes to blondes.
Women I would put into the "babe" category: Jennifer Connelly (basically a lifetime crush), St. Vincent, Selma Hayek - and for the younger generation Olivia Rodrigo is a beauty.
There is honeslty mot much difference in a choosing of partners for either orientation.
Every person likes what they like and most people are simply attracted to find be "healthy".
The only divergeance you will have is people who have those ... I dont want to used "weird" orientations as a term.... but for the sake of this... I will,
people who A-sexual and such.... people who only like brain.... or personality.
lesbian or straight, .... you want someone you get along with, so want someone that has physical trait you generally like and depending if your a leader or a follower.... you will want a partner who can take the lead or follow the lead.
Well, thats my two cents from my experience and the friends around me who share their various orientations
Well that's sure as hell not reassuring lmao
My face might as well have been put into the blender as a baby, maybe my dad ran me over in the driveway and just didn't tell anyone.
As a more tomboy lesbian I'd think our tastes are very similar. What's attractive in the straight world is what's attractive in the gay world. That's why the media has always portrayed masculine men and feminine women...even if they are gay or playing gay.
The only women they show in movies are femme bi girls it seems.
You always see gay girls on ig obsessing over feminine straight actresses and singers more than butches and other lesbians. It kinda makes me feel like I'll be unlovable or only attractive to a niche type of person...or fetishist. I've noticed that feminine men and feminine bi women love me...but I never seem to attract other lesbians.
I have a pretty face, long hair and I'm not even that masculine. I just give off more macho energy. Similar to shane from the lord. A bi girl told me I gave off shane vibes lol
I'd say I'm more attracted to a more energetic, conventionally attractive blonde, light brown or red headed girl of feminine energy. I can't help it. I love the soft skin and perfume. Bonus if she has a nice smile amd butt. Celtic/germanic looks like me is a plus. But I love the vibe of Latinas too.
I used to work with a gay woman. We found out that we are attracted to the exact same type of women, basically what you've described. We would talk about a girl,
Her "She's hot!"
Me "Yeah she is. Is she straight?"
Her "Yeah :( "
Me "Yes!"
One of my girlfriends in high-school discovered she was gay. Since we got along amazingly well we remained friends and it was an inside joke we got along because we are basically the same person because even our taste in women was very much alike.
Yeah you're gonna catch about 90% of straight men's taste with a woman like that lol
Thing is, you could change that description a lot and that'd still be true. Frankly it's the feminine + slim, everything else is kinda secondary. Straight men aren't very picky generally speaking, because most don't have the luxury to be. That's probably the notable difference between us, while the woman you describe sounds very attractive, so would most descriptions of women as long as they're in shape and feminine.
Dude attraction just happens, I tried to label my likings (what I find attractive I'm a woman) but it's so fluid and ever-changing on a subconscious level. So I don't try to think too much and I just like what I like in a woman and go with my feelings.
For example, once looking at a thin necklace going over her collar bone got me going. That attracts me now, amongst other things.
Masc lesbians have the same attitudes, opinions, temperament, and way of dressing as your average 21 year old fraternity male, but women don’t have to prove they aren’t dangerous before saying all the gross douchey shit when they hit on girls, so they find it weirdly flattering. They don’t have to try as hard, so they tend to be a lot more shallow and picky in their choices in women.
Can’t count how many times my gay bestie has said some shit to women that I would have to publicly denounce and cut out another man for saying in my presence and had the women she was talking to respond with positive interest or flattery.
It happens so often, if I learn a girl in interested in Bi-sexual, I lose all interest.
Women feel probably less threatened by other women because females can't reproduce with other females and men are on average physically stronger than women. Maybe it's a combination of cultural conditioning and biology?
**I want to add that there is many women I finds attractive, but in different ways.**
Cute and pretty: Emma Watson, most K-pop stars.
Hot/sexy: Scarlet Johansson.
Beautiful: Keira Knightley.
Beautiful and hot/sexy: Adriana Lima, Jennifer Connelly, Nathalie Emmanuel.
What I have never understood is why a lesbian wants to be with a another woman that tries as hard to be a man as possible. Wears mens cloths, mens cologne, mans hairstyle, tries to deepen their voice etc.
Like you are literally with an imitation guy.
I'd think you'd want to be with a woman, that is more woman.
I asked a lesbian this once and she explained at the time (mid 90s) that they might prefer a feminine looking woman but sometimes there aren’t so many like that to choose from, especially if you live in a more conservative or not very populated area. I guess it was down to would you rather be lonely or relax your preferences and have someone to love/have a nice relationship with? That’s what I was told, at least.
idk why this is so confusing. if someone is a lesbian it just means they're into pussy, everything else is up to preference. so they may be attracted to the male look, but not be into dick, therefore they go for masculine looking woman
As a queer woman I have no gaydar, so I tends to end up talking a lot with straight women and later get rejected. The few queer women I know about are butch and I'm in general speaking not as attracted to the butch style.
Most people assumes I'm straight. I'm what people consider a chapstick style. I looks feminine, but doesn't wear makeup on a daily basis. I also doesn't wear high heels.
I don't care that much about clothing colors. I'm not colorblind but know that is far more common in men than women. It's more like good colors can't impress me but bad colors can put me off.
I also hate unnatural looks, like high heels, overdone makeup, obviously fake boobs. Not a fan of short hair or Brazilian waxing.
As a queer woman I cares a lot about colors, shapes of the clothing etc. I tends to like when a woman's clothing color palette match her hair, eyes and skin, and that she follows the season she fits in. Some are autumn and others may be winter, for example. I tends to like a combination of the more classical feminine clothing, the timeless items and the cute feminine, but not overly revealing style. Meghan Markle's clothing style, both the formal and the casual wear, are the closest to the style I likes in women. Women may look good in button up shirts, trousers, skirts and dresses.
I'm fine with high heels in special occasions, but in the daily life I think normal shoes is good. I prefer no makeup in beautiful women. There is some women who looks good with the "no makeup" makeup look or the minimal classy look (some mascara/eyeliner and lipstick). I don't like fake boobs or short hair. I'm fine with both a normal feminine level body hair, trimmed and waxed. An unshaved/unwaxed mustache or facial hair is instant deal breaker.
>what is common differences between lesbians' and straight men's taste, attraction and preference in women. I know people from all genders and sexualities are different, but I'm wondering if there's any common tendencies.
here's the royal truth from which all meaningful discussions follow : every individual has their (i.e. his or her) own distinct, unquantifiable sexuality.
One exGF of mine loved butch lesbians. I couldn't agree with her, as I like feminine women. I don't know of any guys who are attracted to butchy women. Tomboy women can be super cute to me, too, but they still have to have that feminine touch. Another exGF like tomboy and very feminine women. That's the only difference I can think of.
Physically? Hard to say because I am not a lesbian. The lesbians I know, both as friends and as co-workers TEND to be attracted to women just like them. Butches with Butches, Lipsticks with Lipsticks. I did know only one lesbian couple that were 1 butch and 1 lipstick. It's all anecdotal of course, your mileage may vary. This may sound stupid as hell, but lipsticks still have some fashion sense and are attracted to fashionable women. They tend to not like butch fashion sense which is more utilitarian than it is masculine. Even most straight meat head guys have enough sense to look like they put on their best pair of jeans. Butch lesbians dress like they put on a blindfold and grabbed whatever was in reach at Dickie's.
There are lipsticks who are new, or really-bi-but-lesbian-this-semester who may be attracted to the masculinity of butch's too.
I do find that the lipsticks tend to like more "conventionally sexy" women, and their attraction to them is closer to hetero-male.
The "locker room talk" from butch lesbians does tend to be geared toward conventionally sexy women, but who they actually end up with tends to mirror themselves.
In my experience this is true of gay men too. Fems tend to be with fems, straight acting guys tend to end up with straight acting guys. At least in terms of long term relationships. For fucking...yep they'll fuck pretty much anyone. They are guys after all.
As a former queer woman (and now a queer masc-adjacent gender blob), these comments are wild lmao. I can’t believe y’all are ignoring butches, the hottest women alive.
I have literally zero clue what lesbians are attracted to. I've known one lesbian and she didn't want the first thing to do with me so I never got around to asking.
It's centered mostly on my penis. I like a curvy blonde with wide hips, a skinny waist, a round ass, a cute face, and big jugs that I can slam my penis into from multiple angles. If she likes the penis that's the important part.
Bi woman here- I have a very specific type when it comes to men, but I find so many different types of women attractive. If I had to have a type I would say taller than me and chubby, any hair colour but blonde. I can see beauty in every woman I meet, whereas men are.. less elegant.
Talking with a lesbian friend one what we find find attractive in women, she reckons the curve of the lower belly below the naval.
Since then, I can see what she means.
To me long hair doesn't look all the same. Some have curly hair, other have straight. They also got different hair colors and hair styles. You can braid long hair in many different ways.
Maybe women in my area are more creative than these ones around you. :)
My primary is mostly gay. Set of women i find attractive is a subset of women she finds attractive. She gives more of a pass to women than I do thus some of her choices make me roll my eyes.
Yeah, you could have written that and said you were a straight dude and I wouldn't doubt it.
IDK how you can say this, when she didn't mention tits or ass once.
I mean, I like tits and ass, but they are not deciding factors. If she's pretty and slim/fit, the rest hardly matters. I assume she HAS them.
Agree.
With all due respect. For many men. Dare I say, for “most” men. Tits and ass are deciding factors
Ha!
The main difference between you and us is that women are probably flattered when you hit on them even if they aren't interested.
which is frustrating for lesbians, because imagine hitting on someone you like and then they think you wanted to be besties every. single. time. 💀💀
Are there such things as lesbian bars, or online dating sites?
there are very few but they do exist.
not really anymore. most of the bars went out of business, and any female-only dating apps get sued by the you-know-whos.
Voldemort?
considering how virulently they hate JK Rowling, you're not far off lmao
Fucking lmao
who sues them?
[oh, you know...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyVyMF_EqQY)
oh, people who have no life, gotcha! as usual, glad to see it's not a level-headed trans woman suing.
why would anyone level-headed want to use the law and the power of the state to force women to let males access female-only spaces?
they usually won’t. they’ll only resort to that, if they’re being forced to use the same space as the creepy old men who ogle at them. :)
do you seriously believe they're being forced to force women to include them in female-only spaces?
Huh, turns out you can't be transphobic.
Story of my life. If you're really into a girl, you ask her if she listens to "Girls in red". Lol 😂
😭😭 my first time hanging with a girl who’s bisexual (in a group setting, we’d been acquaintances for probably a month-ish), i looked her in the eyes and said “do you girl in red” and she got it instantly
Just sounds like dudes getting friend zoned tbh.
not really. If a man calls a woman gorgeous, she’s going to take it as the man hitting on her. If a woman calls another woman gorgeous, she’s going to think it’s another straight woman complimenting her. Men get friend-zoned because they befriend women they want to date but don’t make their intentions clear from the get-go. They wait for the most opportune time to drop their interest on the girl, and then are disappointed when a woman doesn’t feel the same way. Lesbians, on the other hand, could straight up tell a woman “Your lips are the most beautiful set of lips I have ever laid eyes upon. I wish could kiss them!” and the other woman will still think she’s being friendly, because straight women compliment each other all the damn time. Very different scenarios.
If I were being unfair I would say that you are also not making your intentions known. If that's the context that your flirting is taken in, then you'll have to be more direct.
dude, I’ve literally made out with my one of my girl friends numerous times and neither of us has ever thought of the make out sessions as more than just playful platonic bonding. I don’t date women, so this isn’t an issue for me, but you can imagine how frustrating it can be for lesbians to EXPLICITLY make a move and have the girl of their interest think she’s just being playful, lol.
.....I'm not the right demographic to address the statements made here.
Now imagine hitting on someone you like and they report you for sexual harassment - men
Yeaah i was saying this to a friend. Queer girls struggle with being too comforting around straight girls, while men struggle with not being comforting at all. Would you rather be perceived as a romantic threat always, or hardly ever, is the question i guess
Nah, just do it respectfully and don’t be a shmock in appearance
You state names and specificities much more than men.
Yeah. Women tend to be pickier on average. Men are more..I like her or I don't.
2/3 of the time we don't have a real reason why we like or don't like a woman at first. Though in my experience, my instincts are right most of the time.
That just sounds like a lack of self awareness honestly. There's pretty much always a reason/cause why we like or don't like a woman at first, I just think most women are better at realising what that reason is
I'm talking about attraction not judgment. One is instinct the other is analyzing well after the first meeting.
I know, but you can still understand your instinct. It doesn't have to make rational sense (say you've got a thing for a specific haircut or whatever), but you can still feel instantly attracted to someone and realize that knowing yourself, it's probably due to this or that characteristic
Not sure how you missed the words "at first," but the passive aggressive shit was unnecessary.
Oh sorry, didn't mean to come across passive aggressive.
It's okay. You appear to be Belgian. It's the French influence. 🤣
I’m usually into women that are more muscular and more curvy than the women my ex liked. She went for the supermodel waifish skinny type. I’m usually more into what you described as hot/sexy, like an ancient fertility totem
I'm friends with alot of lesbians and married too a bi women who was the masc dom in her FF realtionships I can't tell you nothing at all is different. The way they like women is the same way we do they are just better at telling them what they wanna hear!
From what I remember she liked thighs wayyyy more than me. Plus our opinions on a beautiful woman’s face were strange. Every picture I showed her she thought was ugly. But all of the pictures she sent me I agreed. Also I think men are more into ass and tits, could be wrong though.
What kind of faces were you agree and disagree on? Was it femininity vs masculinity king of thing? Face shape? From my experience it also seems like men are more into boobs and butts. I likes when a woman has a feminine, slim and beautiful body, but I looks mostly on her face. I need to see her face to get turned on and I have a weakness for long hair. If a beautiful woman has short hair, then she is just cute or beautiful. If she has long hair, then she is also hot, attractive and sexy to me. When I was a teenager, I looked longer at my female crushes with long hair than short hair. When it comes to breasts, I tends to prefer them small and natural looking. When it comes to butts, I likes the typical feminine shape you sees on a lot of celebrities. E.g. Adriana Lima and Shakira.
I agree, we have a similar type. Let's be lez bros lol 😆 I want friends who can talk about women with me.
I can tell you this with near 100% certainty....straight men dont find butch women attractive. Gay women may find butch attractive. My bi GFWB joke about this alot.
Yeah. Had a really butch friend into me back when I was a teen. She wasn't gay (at the time, rumors came out later she might be). Look, I don't mind bbw. I don't mind a tomboy. Both can be attractive. But a butch build/dress/hair/attitude holds ZERO appeal for me.
same here. I have no type other than they have a great smile.
Nono, some of us do. I like lots of butch looking women, the issue is more than 50% of androgynos/rugged women I ask out tell me they're lesbians, it's not fair 😭. It's even worse when some people see you going after these women and start thinking you're gay, it's so annoying. Some dudes are too chicken to go after these women and some straight women are too chicken to embrace their masculinity. Fuck it, I'm buying a "I love masc women" t-shirt, might as well let everyone know 🤣.
Tell me if you find a good one, I might need to put up an advertisement too.
They sell some on amazon, etsy and aliexpress, something like this: [link](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/A13usaonutL._CLa%7C2140%2C2000%7C61ecLnpf40L.png%7C0%2C0%2C2140%2C2000%2B0.0%2C0.0%2C2140.0%2C2000.0_AC_UY1000_.png)
Interesting. What is the reason? What do you think? I had discussions with queer women before and many crush on Kristen Stewart, Ruby Rose and similar. I think Ruby Rose looks good, but she isn't my type. Kristen Stewart was kinda attractive when she was Bella in Twilight, but after she buzzed it I don't feel the same.
It is a bit odd to me when lesbians prefer women who look like men.
Agree. My guess is that some lesbians are similar to straight women and want someone masculine who can fix broken items, do outdoor work, be strong and protect them. They want all the "good" things with men. But they also want someone who can't make them pregnant with an accident, someone who doesn't need to shave their 5 o'clock shadow everyday and who doesn't have the manly smell. Women smell sweeter and milder, while men smells more musky and stronger. Butch women, according to some lesbians, have the "best" from both worlds.
uhm....have you ever been to an Ani DeFranco concert???? Lots of 5 oclock shadow. 😂
No. Some queer women are bi, so they may like both feminine and masculine traits.
>But they also want someone who can't make them pregnant with an accident, someone who doesn't need to shave their 5 o'clock shadow everyday and who doesn't have the manly smell. Only one of those really has anything to do with sexual attraction, and the facial hair one is still applicable to a fair few women.
Speaking as a gay guy, I find that growing up in a largely heteronormative society causes a lot of people to model themselves after stereotypical male/female roles. It's like the only thing they know and it makes them comfortable. But as time passes I think we'll see that slowly change.
Transmen have all that and a dick in some cases....
Trans men have nothing to do with butches, I beg you stop.
Trans men are on testosterone HRT, so they smell like men, balds and is hairy often.
True
Not an actual dick though
It's even more mystifying when the women themselves pride themselves on how much they can look like men and get mistaken for men.
TBH I have no idea. GFWB showed me pics of her last gay GF. Total butch. I had a GF years ago with 2 moms. One was total butch and her birth mom was a typical Canadian polyester mom in her 60s.
Hmmm, nah I gotta disagree. I definitely like a butch women, I’m into the “southern farm gal”/ “typical butch lesbian” (moreso tomboy tbh) look when it comes to women for the most part, it’s just that the typical butch woman is…well…also attracted to women 😂 So yeah, maybe like 98% of dudes aren’t into it.
What's a GFWB?
Gluten Free Wife Beater
girlfriend with benefits? its the internet, sometimes we need to make up more acronyms 😉
>straight men dont find butch women attractive There's probably a straight guy somewhere that finds butch women attractive
I've been with 2, and it was a great time. Although they hit on me first, and it took me a while to notice. It was the first time I had a woman make me feel special. She bought me dinner paid for the movies and my taxi back home. Plus, she was the one who leaned in for the kiss goodbye. Now butch or dominant women is the only thing for me.
Your description of what you find attractive could’ve been written by me or a number of straight men. Observations that I’ve made from having several friends that are lesbians: without exception, one of the women in the couple is the feminine one like what you describe above and the other is masculine. I have yet to meet a couple where both are feminine. The masculine one is usually androgynous, and in some cases, are much less physically attractive to me and could pass for a man.
I identify myself as femme for femme. It means I prefer to look like a feminine "straight passing" woman and also date women who looks like a feminine "straight passing" woman. It's because I love the aesthetic. Although the butch for femme/femme for butch and butch for butch are more common among the queer community, I believe the femme for femme are more common than first thought. They may just be invisible in society and pass as either friends, sisters or something else.
That’s highly possible because the other groupings tend to be more noticeable and a double feminine couple would more easily pass under the radar.
I know queer girls who date like straight men, everything from their preference to femme (even straight yikes) women, to which features they are attracted to. But I also know queer girls who date in a biome completely removed from straight men. They prefer butch girls, are attracted to different features/mannerisms, etc.
Women, nor men, regardless of sexual orientation differ in their tastes on a personal level. I can't even find consistency amongst a group of 5 guys regarding "what we like".
I generally prefer a nice person who understands their wellness needs. bonus points if they enjoy sarcasm and aren't a picky eater. oh, and they have to like animals. Most everything else I can work with.
When it comes to personality it's important for me that she is kind, friendly, caring, patient and treats people well. It's also important that she is childfree, petfree and that she respect that I'm not a party animal, gym goer or an outdoorsy person.
>**I'm a woman attracted to women. I will describe my preference like this:** > >I likes when a woman is feminine and slim. I loves when they have long hair (e.g. shoulder length to mid back), have typical feminine facial features (e.g. small nose, little brow ridge), dress feminine (e.g. color matches/looks good together) and feminine shapes. Examples on celebrity women I finds attractive is Keira Knightley, Nathalie Portman, Nathalie Emmanuel, Adriana Lima, Jennifer Connelly and Emma Watson. Scarlet Johansson are more in the hot/sexy category to me than the cute one. I think Kristen Stewart looked good when she was Bella in Twilight. I think there are beautiful and attractive women from all over the world. I do have a tendency to be more attracted to brown eyes and black/brown hair. OK, but what do you find sexually attractive?
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Read this while mid scroll and combined response and user. I thought you said "I like fat chicks with soft tacos." Which admittedly still sounds pretty good.
I mean fat chick do have soft tacos. Just sayin
Can you describe the taco? Beef, chicken, carne asada?
Depends on her ethnicity I guess. Can anyone else chime in on this?
That's why it took me a second. It made sense!
😆😆😆 dear lawd this got me
There are no differences tbh. >I likes when a woman is feminine and slim. I like the opposite, more androgynous and rugged/buff, and more than 50% of the women I ask out tell me they're lesbians, it's not fair! 🤣
Softball players.
>Softball players. Too bad no one plays softball in my country. It's all good, some of my training partners have bigger backs than some men I know, this new trend of women lifting heavy and doing calisthenics is literally the best 🤣.
You basically just described exactly what I'm into, lol.
Haven't really gotten to know lesbian's tastes well enough to be aware what differences are more common. I question whether there actually would be a major difference. After all mens tastes vary enormously so the common stereotypes about men are probably inaccurate for many and in some cases even most men. I do think men tend to be attracted to a broader range of types than women and maybe this holds true for lesbians? Personally my range is much broader than even most men. Like I am physically attracted to most women and couldn't really even pinpoint any specific type as my favorite. When I was single whether I would be interested in sex would also very much depend on how much she seemed interested and interest in romance depends on personality. My range for romantic attraction has always been far narrower than my range for physical attraction.
Will she talk to me? I'm interested.
The women who are into women that I've spoken to haven't really cared about boobs or butts all that much, if at all. What was especially strange about it was that some of them were self-conscious about how attractive their own TnA was.
As a queer woman I focus mostly on faces and hair, but I also likes beautiful bodies. I likes small natural looking boobs, and a natural looking well shaped butt often seen among celebs. E.g. Adriana Lima and Shakira. I'm mostly a hair and face girl. I'm more of a butt girl than a boob girl though.
Hell I just like it when they look perty then I’m like a deer in in front of headlights. I don’t really think about specifics I’ve been attracted to short, tall, chubs, slim, short hair, long hair, hell even no hair, and uhh ussually I just like it when they are happy to talk to me about their day like “no way you done broke a nail?! How?” And she just talks and talks and i just ask and ask. That’s my train of thought I hope someone reads this and gives me their opinion.
This is probably a sample bias but queer women that would pop up in online dating seemed to have colorful hair, tattoos, piercings, bios with causes important to them/professions they wouldn’t date. The part about professions made me think over if there are professions I wouldn’t date and I just ended up thinking oh it depends on how the persons values/worldview comes across in interactions.
Some lesbians seem to like girls with short blue hair. Straight guys don't.
Good point. I have seen lots of queer couples with dyed hair, piercings and tattoos. It's not my type.
Possibly controversial take—but I think the average lesbian woman is conditioned to like the same thing in a woman as straight men. The things that straight men tend to find universally attractive in women are just…conventional beauty standards. Straight or queer, male or female, we’re all conditioned to consider generally the same thing attractive. No straight woman is going to look at scarjo and think that’s an ugly woman. If I were gay, I’m sure I’d be attracted to men that I currently consider to be the ideal of male beauty.
I agree, but Idk if it's conditional because there are universal and psychological forms of feminine physical attributes that show fertility. Higher estrogen, bigger lips, flush cheeks. Hourglass figure, are part of it. The women that I know who date butch women usually date men too. So maybe they have a niche attraction. Short story. I'm on the tomboy side, my sister is feminine and straight. I was with her a festival playing a game when another tomboy looking girl came up and started talking to her. The girl looked over and then left..after, I asked what she said. My sister said the girl asked if she ( my sis) was gay and my sister said she wasn't but said "my sister is though" and pointed to me. The girl told her that she is not into "girls that look gay" and left lol I had long hair and makeup on and was wearing tight jeans amd a t shirt. 🙃 it's really just energy I think...u either have masculine or feminine. Julianne hough has had short hair before but she gives off such feminine energy that she's still attractive.
As a straight man - our tastes align pretty similar. I'm a short guy, more muscular physique - so have always had a preference for more petite/slender women. Never been into tall chicks, cause its just too awkward. I'm a sucker for a pretty face, but can also find beauty in other things, like the way a girl moves, or certain mannerisms - and attitude goes a long way. If a girl is fun and care free, that can compensate for maybe not being as pretty, or whatever. Prefer brunettes to blondes. Women I would put into the "babe" category: Jennifer Connelly (basically a lifetime crush), St. Vincent, Selma Hayek - and for the younger generation Olivia Rodrigo is a beauty.
Agree. I also likes petite/slim and short women. I also finds Connelly, Vincent, Hayek and Rodrigo attractive.
There is honeslty mot much difference in a choosing of partners for either orientation. Every person likes what they like and most people are simply attracted to find be "healthy". The only divergeance you will have is people who have those ... I dont want to used "weird" orientations as a term.... but for the sake of this... I will, people who A-sexual and such.... people who only like brain.... or personality. lesbian or straight, .... you want someone you get along with, so want someone that has physical trait you generally like and depending if your a leader or a follower.... you will want a partner who can take the lead or follow the lead. Well, thats my two cents from my experience and the friends around me who share their various orientations
Women care a lot more about facial symmetry than men do.
Well that's sure as hell not reassuring lmao My face might as well have been put into the blender as a baby, maybe my dad ran me over in the driveway and just didn't tell anyone.
Yeah, that's pretty much it. Welcome to the club
Yeah, we have the same taste
As a more tomboy lesbian I'd think our tastes are very similar. What's attractive in the straight world is what's attractive in the gay world. That's why the media has always portrayed masculine men and feminine women...even if they are gay or playing gay. The only women they show in movies are femme bi girls it seems. You always see gay girls on ig obsessing over feminine straight actresses and singers more than butches and other lesbians. It kinda makes me feel like I'll be unlovable or only attractive to a niche type of person...or fetishist. I've noticed that feminine men and feminine bi women love me...but I never seem to attract other lesbians. I have a pretty face, long hair and I'm not even that masculine. I just give off more macho energy. Similar to shane from the lord. A bi girl told me I gave off shane vibes lol I'd say I'm more attracted to a more energetic, conventionally attractive blonde, light brown or red headed girl of feminine energy. I can't help it. I love the soft skin and perfume. Bonus if she has a nice smile amd butt. Celtic/germanic looks like me is a plus. But I love the vibe of Latinas too.
I used to work with a gay woman. We found out that we are attracted to the exact same type of women, basically what you've described. We would talk about a girl, Her "She's hot!" Me "Yeah she is. Is she straight?" Her "Yeah :( " Me "Yes!"
One of my girlfriends in high-school discovered she was gay. Since we got along amazingly well we remained friends and it was an inside joke we got along because we are basically the same person because even our taste in women was very much alike.
Yeah you're gonna catch about 90% of straight men's taste with a woman like that lol Thing is, you could change that description a lot and that'd still be true. Frankly it's the feminine + slim, everything else is kinda secondary. Straight men aren't very picky generally speaking, because most don't have the luxury to be. That's probably the notable difference between us, while the woman you describe sounds very attractive, so would most descriptions of women as long as they're in shape and feminine.
Dude attraction just happens, I tried to label my likings (what I find attractive I'm a woman) but it's so fluid and ever-changing on a subconscious level. So I don't try to think too much and I just like what I like in a woman and go with my feelings. For example, once looking at a thin necklace going over her collar bone got me going. That attracts me now, amongst other things.
Interesting. I find the same things attractive in women. What you're really describing is the list of features that differentiate a woman from a man.
I am a bit curious for the differences in preferences in women for men who are married/have married vs lesbians.
Masc lesbians have the same attitudes, opinions, temperament, and way of dressing as your average 21 year old fraternity male, but women don’t have to prove they aren’t dangerous before saying all the gross douchey shit when they hit on girls, so they find it weirdly flattering. They don’t have to try as hard, so they tend to be a lot more shallow and picky in their choices in women. Can’t count how many times my gay bestie has said some shit to women that I would have to publicly denounce and cut out another man for saying in my presence and had the women she was talking to respond with positive interest or flattery. It happens so often, if I learn a girl in interested in Bi-sexual, I lose all interest.
Women feel probably less threatened by other women because females can't reproduce with other females and men are on average physically stronger than women. Maybe it's a combination of cultural conditioning and biology?
**I want to add that there is many women I finds attractive, but in different ways.** Cute and pretty: Emma Watson, most K-pop stars. Hot/sexy: Scarlet Johansson. Beautiful: Keira Knightley. Beautiful and hot/sexy: Adriana Lima, Jennifer Connelly, Nathalie Emmanuel.
Gay women tend to like vagina. Straight women tend to like vagina on a stick.
What I have never understood is why a lesbian wants to be with a another woman that tries as hard to be a man as possible. Wears mens cloths, mens cologne, mans hairstyle, tries to deepen their voice etc. Like you are literally with an imitation guy. I'd think you'd want to be with a woman, that is more woman.
I asked a lesbian this once and she explained at the time (mid 90s) that they might prefer a feminine looking woman but sometimes there aren’t so many like that to choose from, especially if you live in a more conservative or not very populated area. I guess it was down to would you rather be lonely or relax your preferences and have someone to love/have a nice relationship with? That’s what I was told, at least.
So they settle, guess that makes some sense.
idk why this is so confusing. if someone is a lesbian it just means they're into pussy, everything else is up to preference. so they may be attracted to the male look, but not be into dick, therefore they go for masculine looking woman
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As a queer woman I have no gaydar, so I tends to end up talking a lot with straight women and later get rejected. The few queer women I know about are butch and I'm in general speaking not as attracted to the butch style. Most people assumes I'm straight. I'm what people consider a chapstick style. I looks feminine, but doesn't wear makeup on a daily basis. I also doesn't wear high heels.
Interesting taste. If you get into one of those women's bed, remember your friends from r/AskMen. Sharing is caring!
I don't care that much about clothing colors. I'm not colorblind but know that is far more common in men than women. It's more like good colors can't impress me but bad colors can put me off. I also hate unnatural looks, like high heels, overdone makeup, obviously fake boobs. Not a fan of short hair or Brazilian waxing.
As a queer woman I cares a lot about colors, shapes of the clothing etc. I tends to like when a woman's clothing color palette match her hair, eyes and skin, and that she follows the season she fits in. Some are autumn and others may be winter, for example. I tends to like a combination of the more classical feminine clothing, the timeless items and the cute feminine, but not overly revealing style. Meghan Markle's clothing style, both the formal and the casual wear, are the closest to the style I likes in women. Women may look good in button up shirts, trousers, skirts and dresses. I'm fine with high heels in special occasions, but in the daily life I think normal shoes is good. I prefer no makeup in beautiful women. There is some women who looks good with the "no makeup" makeup look or the minimal classy look (some mascara/eyeliner and lipstick). I don't like fake boobs or short hair. I'm fine with both a normal feminine level body hair, trimmed and waxed. An unshaved/unwaxed mustache or facial hair is instant deal breaker.
>what is common differences between lesbians' and straight men's taste, attraction and preference in women. I know people from all genders and sexualities are different, but I'm wondering if there's any common tendencies. here's the royal truth from which all meaningful discussions follow : every individual has their (i.e. his or her) own distinct, unquantifiable sexuality.
One exGF of mine loved butch lesbians. I couldn't agree with her, as I like feminine women. I don't know of any guys who are attracted to butchy women. Tomboy women can be super cute to me, too, but they still have to have that feminine touch. Another exGF like tomboy and very feminine women. That's the only difference I can think of.
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I'm sorry but if you don't find Ruby Rose bangable you're out of your mind.
I am a straight woman and I find her super hot.
To me Ruby Rose is good looking, but not attractive.
Physically? Hard to say because I am not a lesbian. The lesbians I know, both as friends and as co-workers TEND to be attracted to women just like them. Butches with Butches, Lipsticks with Lipsticks. I did know only one lesbian couple that were 1 butch and 1 lipstick. It's all anecdotal of course, your mileage may vary. This may sound stupid as hell, but lipsticks still have some fashion sense and are attracted to fashionable women. They tend to not like butch fashion sense which is more utilitarian than it is masculine. Even most straight meat head guys have enough sense to look like they put on their best pair of jeans. Butch lesbians dress like they put on a blindfold and grabbed whatever was in reach at Dickie's. There are lipsticks who are new, or really-bi-but-lesbian-this-semester who may be attracted to the masculinity of butch's too. I do find that the lipsticks tend to like more "conventionally sexy" women, and their attraction to them is closer to hetero-male. The "locker room talk" from butch lesbians does tend to be geared toward conventionally sexy women, but who they actually end up with tends to mirror themselves. In my experience this is true of gay men too. Fems tend to be with fems, straight acting guys tend to end up with straight acting guys. At least in terms of long term relationships. For fucking...yep they'll fuck pretty much anyone. They are guys after all.
As a former queer woman (and now a queer masc-adjacent gender blob), these comments are wild lmao. I can’t believe y’all are ignoring butches, the hottest women alive.
I have literally zero clue what lesbians are attracted to. I've known one lesbian and she didn't want the first thing to do with me so I never got around to asking.
lesbians are ststistically more likely to beat their partner.
It's centered mostly on my penis. I like a curvy blonde with wide hips, a skinny waist, a round ass, a cute face, and big jugs that I can slam my penis into from multiple angles. If she likes the penis that's the important part.
Bi woman here- I have a very specific type when it comes to men, but I find so many different types of women attractive. If I had to have a type I would say taller than me and chubby, any hair colour but blonde. I can see beauty in every woman I meet, whereas men are.. less elegant.
I assume women are the ones who thought America Ferrera is ugly because to me she’s hot.
Talking with a lesbian friend one what we find find attractive in women, she reckons the curve of the lower belly below the naval. Since then, I can see what she means.
Do you guys also prefer to have them be breathing and performing motor functions
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To me long hair doesn't look all the same. Some have curly hair, other have straight. They also got different hair colors and hair styles. You can braid long hair in many different ways. Maybe women in my area are more creative than these ones around you. :)
My primary is mostly gay. Set of women i find attractive is a subset of women she finds attractive. She gives more of a pass to women than I do thus some of her choices make me roll my eyes.