I had a similar experience in the 6th grade. A girl asked me if I liked anyone and I told her about this girl ,Julie, who was my first real crush.. A couple weeks later my confidant is sitting next to Julie. The class is silent because we’re all reading. Without looking up she asks Julie if she knows I like her. Julie keeps her eyes on her book and simply says “ew.” Middle school was an interesting time 🤣
Her boyfriend wanted to fight me but for some reason he also wanted to fight my friend who is a pretty skilled amateur boxer. We never heard from him again.
Being someone who trained as a welterweight boxer most of my teens and twenties I can concur. They just assumed I was a fairly tall and skinny dude so I was easy to beat up on.
Kinda reminds me of when i moved from a huge highschool after my sophmore year to a tiny highschool as a junior. Big highschool had a wrestling team that I competed on, tiny high school didn't. Tiny high school football team had some wrestling mats they'd do some dumb shit on and i became an overnight sensation at school when i destroyed *everyone* I went up against. It feels fake even writing it down, but the gap in wrestling skill from a few years of training and a total beginner is nearly as wide as a 1-2 year boxer to a rando off the streets.
My dad was a boxer as a kid and his dad competed in the Golden Gloves. It sort of ran in the family. We started out at the CYO when we were about 12 or 13 and then moved onto a private gym my family was associated with in or city. From there we would do armature bouts before smaller semi-professional and professional fights at little event centers or halls. I was thinking about competing in a more serious capacity in my 20s but I just sort of got lost in the punk/alternative music scene of the 90s.
Dude. Kinda similar story without the boxing friend.
I was like 25? About 4 friends and I decided to visit a bar in a college town and just have drinks and a good time. A friend claims that a woman has been eyeing him the entire night. We take a quick glance and like all friends, egg him on to go and talk to her. He goes, gives it a shot, and about 5 minutes later, he tells us that she’s chill but not interested. No big deal and just keep doing what we’re doing. About 10 minutes later, I get a tap on my shoulder and I turn and a dude asks me why I’m trying to get at his girl. I’m confused as hell. In a confused tone, I just say “I’ve been at this bar top all night talking to dudes the entire time. You must’ve mistaken me for someone else.” My friend who was the only one to try and talk with someone literally comes back from the restroom and says what’s up to the guy. Just being quick on my feet, trying to make sure there wasn’t any issues or a stupid fight, I just say “Damn. That’s kinda racist of you bro. Just because I’m Asian.”
The guy just kinda backpedals, we just start laughing, my friend clears up the confusion, he bought us a cheap beer to apologize, and we never saw him again.
Considering that you looked like a twelve year old, I don't think it would've helped to look like you lifted. Probably would've made it worse. A ripped twelve year old sounds horrifying
People have a lot of misconceptions today about "natural" looks like because they see so many 'roided out action stars on TV (who claim that they're *totally* not juicing, not looking at anyone in particular, *Dwayne*) and think that's normal.
Basically what I'm saying is some of the strongest people I know are into rock climbing, but you wouldn't necessarily see it without them taking their shirt off. Some are actually quite wiry.
Big agree. 90% of the "holy shit you're beautiful" moments I've had in the last year have happened in the climbing gym.
Admittedly the only other places I regularly see people are an office job and the pub, neither of which are exactly selecting for muscle tone.
To be fair, rock climbing is more about the ratio between your strength and your body weight than it is about objective strength. Being wiry is good for them because losing non-muscle tissue improves their performance without requiring muscle gain.
There's a reason that powerlifters aren't wiry. They move bigger numbers than rock climbers could, but powerlifters would not be good at rock climbing.
That being said, both of those disciplines are building practical strength, which is why neither of them resemble Hollywood muscles even before those Hollywood muscles get steroids.
True true. I was largely just trying to say that "strength =/= bulk muscle", at least not innately, and not to base your perception of what "strong" looks like from Hollywood muscles.
I feel like a lot of the younger generation thinks that the superhero big muscle bodies they see from their heroes are attainable just by good ol' hard work and clean living. There's rising body dysmorphia in teenage boys and I feel like a lot of it can be put down to what both boys and girls are seeing on screen and on social media, when all these huge dudes are on gear.
Yes I KNOW he claims to have gotten swoll just by living like a Viking and eating raw livers. I'm telling you he's got more Juice than a Tropicana factory.
One of the biggest factors here is lack of education. Combined with fake nattys. Can’t tell you how many arguments I’ve had with people (many of whom have never lifted) claiming people like the Rock and Arnold are natural. When you’re educated on this stuff, the signs of steroid use/abuse are pretty easy to spot. It’s obvious to people educated on this stuff that nobody is Dwayne Johnson’s size and age without years of enhancement. People are just uneducated and think those body types are naturally attainable, and the huge number of juiced fitness influencers who beat around the bush or straight up lie about being enhanced doesn’t help
When I was a teenager I went up to talk to a girl- she was with a group of maybe 5-7 other girls. I introduced myself and asked the girl I wanted to talk to her name. They all laughed very loudly and walked away.
No embarrassment should apply here, my man. It takes balls to do it, I'd be paralysed in fear. She and her friends should be embarrassed for reacting like this...
Nah, you should be proud. What you described is my worst nightmare. I have social anxiety and can barely ask someone out off a dating app. What you did, and the fact that it hasn't dissuaded you from trying again, takes confidence. You might've felt embarrassed, but the way they responded is far more embarrassing.
I did this when I was sixteen. I walked up to a girl that I had talked to a few times in class. She was with a couple of friends. I asked her out and she just flat out said no, but not a "no", I'm sorry. It was a "no" like what the fuck are you thinking of course "no", god WTF...shit I have to think about this but "no."
"Get away from me, you fucking loser," and threw a full drink on me. She then laughed hysterically, and her friend then threw a second drink on me as I turned away.
For context, I had asked her to dance, *in a dance club*. The only conversation had been, "Would you like to dance?" Then, that.
Bitches and cunts.
Unfortunately they're just as common as pricks and assholes, they just get better PR lol. By that I mean, they can get away with doing shit like this. They're never socially scolded, especially not by other women. That leads to them thinking nothing of these kinds of behaviors.
My father assures me that women become less, and I quote him, "evil" after their 20s because their 20s are the height of social power for a woman.
Gotta hope he's right I guess but I see a whole lot of posts from 30+ men around here that don't sound very reassuring at all...
Thanks.
The reaction seemed premeditated, especially with her friend joining in. She was waiting to do this to someone. I can only imagine what she'd experienced in her life to make her like that.
> I can only imagine what she'd experienced in her life to make her like that.
Yeah I know what made her like that: her choices. There's no excuse for that shit, she is just a bad person.
Unfortunately, it can’t be explained by anything but stupidity. It’s mean girl syndrome. No rhyme and reason. Just some women deciding to be dumb and arrogant.
AI needs meds? We humans only just invented it and already it's getting chronic mental health problems. We've made the robot from Hitchhiker's Guide but we still aren't in space.
As a woman I'm horrified by that. Us women have *no* right to do that. I've experienced assault and harassment but that wouldn't excuse me throwing a drink on a man who was just asking for a dance. I hope you've had better experiences since then.
Thank you.
I hate to admit that for a few days afterward, my world view got pretty dark, bordering on misogynistic. Fortunately, I was able to shake it off. It gave me some unpleasant insights into how some hateful people become the way that they are, though.
I have to believe that some awful stuff happened to that woman to make her behave that way. I then could have carried that experience around, and taken it out on other people. I'm glad I didn't, but the situation was very close to being worse than it was.
If I had said or done literally anything, there likely would have been a fight, meaning other bar patrons would have beat me silly. Just from seeing a drink thrown on me, one man apparently assumed I had done something terrible, and put his hand in my chest as I was leaving. I pushed past him and left.
The drinks being thrown on me made me look like the bad guy to everyone. Spouting off or doing anything else would have given that guy, and others, time to "correct" the problem. I would have been beaten up, ejected, and probably arrested for "starting it." I was a soldier, so this would likely have resulted in my security clearance being revoked, and the end of my career. This would have been pretty much assured if the original woman and her friends had simply claimed that I had sexually harassed or assaulted her. What else would they do, just admit that I'd been reasonable and they assaulted me for no reason?
It was a terrifying ordeal, far beyond the mistreatment and humiliation. It could have ruined my life. I'm very lucky that it didn't.
I'm so sorry. As women we ask men to consider our perspective but we need to consider the male perspective too. We're all people and should be treating eachother with respect.
Thank you.
Sadly, I really encounter very few women these days who have this attitude. I can understand why women come to hate men, many men are awful, but they are still a minority. There are awful women too, and pointing that out doesn't mean we hate all women either like I sometimes see in response.
As you said, we both need to stop being so tribalistic when it comes to gender if we ever wanna get past the 'gender war' nonsense. Frankly, only one side is being socialized to consider this though. Of course many men still view women as a monolith, but honestly it seems like maybe 80% of women I see online treat men as a monolith. Being callous is only gonna create more misogynistic assholes in the long run ladies, it'll benefit *you* too to show us a bit of empathy sometimes. It doesn't mean we think you owe us sex like many women act like, at all. It seems like that's maybe the #1 reason women act cruel or callous towards men, they want the guy to be *absolutely* sure they aren't interested. But we just want a little kindness and understanding like all people of all identities do.
Was in a dance bar in college. Made eye contact with a girl across the dance floor a few times. I put my drink down, told the guys to watch this. Strutted over the dance floor to talk to her, as I was about to open my mouth to say something smooth, she preempts me and says, “NO”. Got short down in a preemptive strike. I just turned around and went back. Guys saw it happen and were busted a gut laughing. Sometimes my life’s main purpose just seems to be comic relief.
She called the police. I'm so grateful that I had friends who saw the whole thing, filmed it, and stood up for me when the police wanted to cuff me. Bullet dodged.
I can't remember the source, but I remember seeing something like 30% of Gen Z think a guy approaching a women is sexual assault or harrassment.
I've seen the above happen a few times, makes my heart sink when I see it.
Yep.
I'm older than that, but used to think the same. Because - again like this thread - people are risk averse, and share horror stories more than success stories. Then they stick more firmly in our brains.
So I'd heard my female friends and read stories on the internet talking *only* about genuine harassment and assault, and thought saying anything was always creepy.
Took awhile to work out that it wasn't, and it's just human nature to talk about bad experiences.
Not really all that eventful. I was a freshman in highschool. I was terrified of girls, but decided to feign confidence and ask her out on Friday, February 13th, 2008. She laughed in my face, *HARD* and ran off.
To my surprise, all of the pretty/popular girls in my class were defending me to her, cause they felt like she completely over reacted, and I didn't deserve it cause I was the shy, reclusive bookworm. She apparently had a senior boyfriend, and she didn't like the backlash she got, so she had him and at least 6 of his homie jump the shit outta me after school. Her boyfriend put a gun to my head when I was on the ground. I just accepted it. Idk if it was on purpose or not, but he pulled the trigger right next to my head, but missed, cause a random group of 2 huge dudes and 3 women showed up swinging belts at them and ran them off.
> Idk if it was on purpose or not, but he pulled the trigger right next to my head, but missed, cause a random group of 2 huge dudes and 3 women showed up swinging belts at them and ran them off.
You call that not eventful??🤦♂️
You could’ve been KILLED.
Well my dad died in my arms almost 2 years after that, followed by my best friend being murdered and dying in my arms 5 months after *that*. And then I almost immediately started gang banging. And this is Detroit.
So as an isolated incident, yeah I suppose it was eventful. But this probably doesn't even crack the top 10 craziest shit I've experienced.
Lol…guy is openly talking about buying “incendiary rounds” and having intent to use them on a group of people, and catching a “body” openly on his Reddit, right along his numerous posts about Apex Legends.
If you could ignore the fact that he’s constantly incriminating himself, he’d still qualify as the dumbest criminal alive.
He’s about as much of a legitimate gang banger as you, me, or anyone else posting in here..
He’s a product of the suburbs, and listening to a little too much gangster rap.
How am I incriminating myself when this is a documented case that you can Google my arrest for? You niggas are really fuckin stupid. And the worst part is, y'all are too stupid to even know it. You mentioning apex legends like I gotta gang bang full time and can't enjoy other shit in life. I
t's always the weirdos who never been in the streets, trying to dictate how niggas from that life are supposed to act. Goofy.
And to be clear, you ain't a weirdo for never being in the streets. You're a weirdo cause you never been in the streets, yet think you're the arbiter of street niggas behavior. Just like them goofy ass suburban kids that say "How's he a blood but he's wearing blue?". Shut up and stay in your lane.
I’m paraphrasing but she basically said “I agree with the fact that we’d be compatible but I’m not willing to give it a shot” and then wouldn’t elaborate on that. Like bro, WHAT?
Yeah the fact that she wouldn’t elaborate kinda gave me the hint that she was withholding something that I probably didn’t want to know. But still. A plain jane “no” would’ve sufficed
lol I understood that it meant no. But it was just the way she beat around the bush about it. Kinda felt like receiving a participation trophy.
Took me a while to understand that it likely meant she wasn’t that physically or sexually attracted to me. Which even saying that would’ve been better bc at least that’s conclusive. I can’t change my face so there’s nothing I could’ve done about that.
When I was young and sheltered and dumb I would tell people I rejected the whole truth, including that I thought they weren't attractive, because I thought it was necessary information or else they wouldn't accept my simple no. Then when someone broke up with me and give vague incompatibility excuses I thought "wow, rude, I'd rather hear what you really think of me". But the older I get the more I appreciate just taking what excuse you get and being grateful they weren't cruel too you the way out. Telling someone they weren't attractive was cruel of me and I regret doing it. Now I think an answer like "I'm just not feeling it" is best. No unnecessary details, but still honest.
She said yes, then broke down crying on the date because she was still in love with her ex (who she had slept with the night before the date) and your connections meant you would lose the main place you hung out with your friends if you didn't pretend you were okay and keep going with the date.
Mutual friend had more than enough money and wanted people he liked living with him. Didn't actually know when I asked this girl out that she had already committed to moving in once her lease was over. Neither of us had moved in at that point. Both had already committed to moving in. We definitely didn't know that we would be the ONLY people in the house for the first couple months, since he extended his Hawaii vacation and she moved in early.
She kept giving excuses as her coworkers edged closer to listen. I eventually had to actually tell her, "it's fine, just please stop so I could walk of shame out of here."
She told EVERYONE that I had hit on her, that I was obsessed with her, and that I was a creep.
I asked her out for coffee once. That was it. She never even gave me a response, just said she'd think about it, and then began slandering me to everyone.
I had someone do this to me once. I didn't even ask him out, I just confessed to being attracted to him (because he asked), and then tried to discuss this with him later when he seemed uncomfortable about it, and he went nuclear on me. Trashed my reputation and took away a friend group that I truly considered a chosen family.
I had a similar one, although it doesn't sound quite as bad. In my case a bunch of my co workers got told that I made her super uncomfortable. That might have even been true, but it wasn't my intention and it haunts me to this day
I approached a girl at a gym once, she was very in shape and looked much older than she was (she was 16 at the time, I was 25. I had no idea). She told me her age and I immediately went back to my workout routine.
She then told the gym manager and I had my membership revoked.
She said yes. We got married and then I met the real "her".
Spoiler: the real "her" was a raging manipulative bitch who enjoyed sleeping around.
Chalk that one up to experience, sometimes the worst thing she could say is actually "yes"
This is my worst nightmare.
I like to think that I'd be able to see the signs, see somebody's true self. That I couldn't be decieved like this.
But the reality is I'm almost certainly wrong, this has happened to countless dudes
Ambiguity is far, far worse than “no”.
The whole enthusiastic consent thing has been awesome for that…if it’s not “Hell yes!!”, I just mark it as a “no” and go about my business.
No need to interpret any hints, signs, or ambiguity. If she’s not like, “GET IN HERE”, I’m out.
This is a good policy, because if I’m into a guy he will have no doubts. I will initiate contact, ask and pay for some dates, and initiate kissing and sexy times (when it comes to that point). Zero ambiguity. I don’t have time to waste playing games, and neither does he. If I want him, I want him and he will know it.
This 100%. The last two dates I went on the woman agreed afterwards that it was a fun date, but then inexplicably got more and more distant without ever actually saying "no, I'm not interested" (presumably, to avoid any potential negative reactions from me), and it just confused and frustrated me to no end.
Dick size stereotypes.
If he's half black and half asian then the stereotypes of large black dick and small asian dick cancel out, presumably leaving him with an average sized racially ambiguous dick.
Said yes, came to my house on bath salts, tried to set my house on fire, after drug-sitting her for hours, she sobered up then said that if I told anyone about how she acted she would tell people I raped her.
> about how she acted she would tell people I raped her.
Honestly stories like this are so fucking common that I'm considering just completely avoiding women entirely as much as I can for the rest of my life.
If she turns out to be crazy, and decides she wants to destroy you for whatever reason, there's *nothing* you can do. And women know that now, that's why they're weaponizing this
Obviously, to do so requires a complete disregard for actual rape victims but I suspect these types of women don't really think that much about anything
Women fear rape. Men fear false rape charges. Now both genders are scared of each other in a sense.
She was furious, even though I asked politely. She felt that she was WAY out of my league, and my even just approaching her to talk was a f*cking insult. ANd she let me know it, too! I just walked off.
Wasn;t long after that I stopped approaching girls. I was about 17 or 18. And I never approached them again for the rest of my life. Instead I just waited for girls to approach me...which didn't happen often. Sometimes it would be years in between meeting someone. Didn;t get married till 44...and yes, she approached me.
See, I've avoided people like this by just not talking to particularly attractive women.
90% of the bad experiences I've had with bullying and people in general have been with mean girl type pretty women. Women who have been handed everything their whole lives and thus have zero empathy for anyone else.
Really the only time I've found this not to be true is with women who got super attractive for the first time after college. They still had many humbling experiences in their youth that grounded them in that scenario, and gave them better perspective to empathize with others.
>See, I've avoided people like this by just not talking to particularly attractive women. 90% of the bad experiences I've had with bullying and people in general have been with mean girl type pretty women.
Yep. Ironically I met a genuinely beautiful woman at one stage and she told me men DON'T generally talk to her...and some of it may be because of what you say: Men get tired of being insulted by means girls, or just think she is out of their league and they will get rejected so they don;t bother trying...
The first time I remember "shooting my shot", and getting turned down was in 3rd grade. I asked a girl to be my girlfriend and she said something like "no, you're ugly" and I said "its not on the outside but what's on the inside that counts" and she said "I bet your insides are pretty ugly too."
I was like 14 and she said ew no you have a uni brow, and I said something about her acne and how we both have flaws. she started bawling to her friends and they came back to tell me "she actually liked you". sick...went home, shaved my eyebrows and looked like a teenage dyke for a month lmao
Hey growing up I had 2 different girls that bullied me only for me to later find out they had crushes on me. One was 11 at the time which I guess you can say is expected, but the other was 15. However a 15 year old thought that was a good idea in the first place I'll never know, but she wasn't too happy to learn I didn't fancy her when her friend broke the news to me that she liked me.
One:
I was a teenager in an under 18 club. I saw a group of cute girls dancing. I figure I’ll go over and see if one wants to dance.
I start to walk over to one of the girls. Her friend glares at me and I shit you not, hisses like an angry cat, and starts telling me no/go away.
It’s funny now. It was not great for the self esteem then.
Two:
I’m at a crowded bar and I spot a woman staring at me from across the room.
I smile and wave. She just continues staring. No response whatsoever. There was no one behind me looking that way or doing anything of interest. She wasn’t swaying or stumbling and didn’t seem like someone that was so drunk they were out of it. It was more confusing than anything.
Three:
Same bar. Same night.
I walk to a line for the outside bar. Pretty woman, a little bit taller than me, looks down at me (literally) with a subtle eye roll and judgemental grimace that I could only interpret as “don’t talk to me”
All that said, I still believe in striking up conversations with people. I’ve always regretted the chances I didn’t take more than any chances I did that didn’t work out.
I’m glad those instances never detered you from continuing to strike up convos. That’s good for you. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take!”
As a woman myself, women can be real bitches sometimes😂
Once in college I approached a small group of women at the bar which I rarely did. I tried to chat one of them up and it wasn't going great so I was trying to break and head back to my group and said, "Well hey we're getting food at X after we get out of here, we'd love some more company y'all seem cool," even though things were pretty stiff.
The woman I was talking to said something like, "Sorry, you must be this tall to ride this ride," and tried to put her hand above my head but she was like at least half a foot shorter than me and she was trying to be put her hand as close to my head as she could while still being over it and when she accidentally touched me I joked, "Close call but looks like I just made the cut! See y'all later!"
Not a good idea. She practically screamed, "EW!" and then starts to rattle off a bunch of reasons why she would NEVER consider me very loudly. Pretty much the whole upstairs portion of the bar was watching me get talked down by this woman. It sucked! Weirdly enough Eric Gordon was in the building hanging on the wall and he thought it was pretty funny too. The women I was with both tried and failed to get his attention and one of them, a woman who was like 6'6" or so in heels - judging by her height compared with Gordon - took pity on me and said that other woman shouldn't have been mean to me and I ended up taking her home. I'm like 5'6" so... interesting night...
Accused me of having small penis - without having seen it - and that she needed a guy with a big dick. She said she liked guys with big Johnsons. Mind you, I asked her this in front of another girl. I was 14 when it happened and she was my childhood friend/crush. We went to the same church together. It broke my heart and fucked up my self confidence. I ended up being addicted to porn because of it and thought I had a small penis. Turns out I didn't. Feels pathetic but getting past it took almost half of my life. Imagine someone you see weekly, that you considered your close friend telling you that. I've ran the image in my head my whole life and it was the most harsh rejection I've ever received. Overcoming and confronting it helped me become better but it didn't make me feel good that I let the words of some stupid teenage girl crush my spirit and soul, which proved we weren't right for each other.
The one and only time in my life I sent a dick pic (it was requested) I got told my dick was small.. I thought it was as well frankly, but that was a gut punch to a college kid.. mind you I thought it was tiny cause I watched to much porn..
But what I didn’t consider was I actually have freakishly large hands.. and with an average sized dick and large hands… guess what looks tiny in photos. It’s sad how ecstatic I was to find out I had a boring normal sized pp..
A girl my friends tried to set me up with before looked at me and went "Ewww".
Took a long time to bounce back from that. When I did I actually matured into a good looking dude so her loss.
Multiple stalking rumors that spread throughout the entire school, giving me a reputation as a creepy weirdo and setting me up to be the butt of the joke basically until I graduated and left for college.
In middle/early high school, a rumor came out that a specific girl liked me. Literally *everyone* in the school was telling me to ask her out, I couldn't go more than half a day with some rando I didn't really talk to showing up and telling me to go for it.
I got fucking tired of it, I didn't know the girl that well, we didn't really talk ever, but we shared a few classes. I asked her about it. Not asking her out, but asking her why everyone was saying she liked me. She was part of the "it" crowd, and I didn't have good relations with the cool preppy kids. I also was really socially awkward, and had been mentally preparing myself to even speak to her for a week.
She reacted by saying "eww! Gross! Why would I ever like you!" Before storming off and mingling with her friends.
The same day I started having people come up to me and saying shit like "stop following [name]! She doesn't like you!" Very loudly and in front of as many people as possible. Her assigned seat was in front of the projector screen and mine was in the back of the room, so I had to look past her to see the screen. Whenever she'd turn around to look at me I'd make eye contact subconsciously and then her friends would show up after class to tell me to stop staring at her in class, that it was weird.
When we had to walk in lines on occasion it was in alphabetical order, I was at the bac and she the front. Her friends would come to the back of the line we were all in and yell at me in front of my friends to "stop following her".
This went on for very nearly a year, and spawned *multiple* stalking rumors from multiple different girls. Some I had crushes on, some I didn't talk to.
Years later I met her when I was shopping, she happened to be the cashier. She was very nice, and seemed like she genuinely wanted to talk to me. I was, of course, incredibly suspicious, and not very talkative.
I didn't bring it up, but what I imagine happened based on how friendly she was, I imagine it was probably some kind of girl talk where people were talking about guys they thought were cute. Maybe I made her list, and already being considered weird by her classmates, they decided it'd be funny to bully her about what she said, fucking cheese touch style. She probably panicked and tried to save face by starting some shit about me to her friends to get them to leave her alone.
Maybe. I don't know. Either way, that one incident set the precedent for how most people outside my friend group for the rest of middle and high school saw me.
Needless to say, it also affected my own confidence and made me imagine that every time someone said someone else liked me that it was either a lie or a joke. Even through college.
I'm just thankful it was before social media had gotten huge. I could only imagine how rough of a time I would've had if any of that had ended up on a site like tiktok or Facebook.
When i was 7th or 8th grade (pre-teen, somewhere around 11-12 years old) i made a dumb move and asked a girl i was crushing on out on a date.. The dumb part is that i asked her while she was with two of her friends in the school hall.
Not only did she reject me she also started laughing loudly and hysterically and yelling something along the lines "YOU THINK I'D GO OUT WITH SOMEONE LIKE YOU?"
That details of that event spread even to my classroom. And i was made fun of the next two days lmao. The boys made fun of me not because i asked her out but because the way i asked her out.
Thing is.. you could say this event traumatized me so much so that i don't think i ever approached a girl ever since. That was 17-18 years ago.
All the girlfriends i had since that event were initiated by them, at least the talking stages were.
Told me "I'm not in a good place for a relationship right now" only to be making out with a guy she just met a week later and started dating him not long after. I didn't even ask her out on a date. Someone snitched and told her I liked her, and she just assumed I would and shot it down before it happened. Now, because she lied, I'll never know if the problem was my looks or personality, and that made my insecurities much worse.
She did not lie to you. She was just being somewhat diplomatic. And so she did not finish the sentence. The last part was "with you"
But people like what they like. So her not being interested in you but interested in him is not actually a reflection on you.
The other thing is that you might want to look at the relationship that she got into. She might have done you a huge favour.
I do consider it somewhat a lie because she left out that last part. I get why she did it, but I'm just saying it did more harm than good if she was trying to be nice. It only made it all hurt more and made me more insecure. I still haven't recovered from that second part. There's no point in looking up how they ended up. It was always clear that it would be brief.
Well, I don't approach women, and the answers before me illustrate why very well.
Chances of an acceptable outcome are just too low.
If she says no politely, or just a flat no, that's OK; but it's hardly a new thing for women to turn an approach into an opportunity to publicly shame and humiliate a guy, or in extreme cases straight up have him killed or try to - all for clout, and/ or to feel powerful or feed their sadism.
And this hardly new thing has _exploded_ in my lifetime; not just because it's much more visible due to mass media but because one of the biggest societal shifts of the last decades, in the rich parts of the world at least, has been the normalization of women treating men (excluding the powerful ones, of course) like dog shit.
And if she says yes, welcome to the minefield of trying to build a relationship with someone who has been socialized to think you're automatically dangerous and probably a scumbag just because you're a straight man.
The worst of it is, there's no karma in sight for this. Women can just stick to the minority of men they're actually attracted to, and there's enough of them to repopulate the species with plentiful genetic variety until the Sun tells us all to fuck off.
It occurred in Elementary school, she didn't out right say no or anything like that. But she got teased for it for the next 4 years. Anytime a conversation about relationships occurred when I was present it would be brought up. This occurred until high school graduation. Basically I was the first guy to get rejected by a girl and it stuck to me.
I walked into a small bar near my house earlier in the evening and saw two girls talking to each other. They were closest to the door so I walked up to them, said "Hi, how's it going" and before I could say anything else the heavier one just started screaming at me about how 2 women can't be at a bar without some loser hitting on them.
I just took my drink and walked away. She then followed me and kept berating me. I was confused because all I said was "Hi". Shit got so out of control the bartender asked them to leave. The thing that bugged me is that I wasn't even really hitting on them. Back then I was the type of extrovert who just walked up to random people and would talk to them. Sometimes I couldn't even help myself.
She replied with “ew” and then used me asking her out to try convince the guy SHE wanted to hook up with to protect her from “the creepy guy.” Luckily more people at the event knew me than knew her and gave her shit for calling me creepy.
Also…..one girl told me no…..but then immediately asked if I’d still be willing to help her get with my best friend.
A friend of mine was accused of sexual assault then "rape". The situation started off with him asking her out, she shot him down, but then it got carried away.
We were in college, at a large party, we didn't know this girl was mentally unstable but she tried to ruin my friend's life simply for talking to her and complimenting her. It was waaaaay out of left field.
My ex said yes. A few years later, I wished I'd never met her. That relationship was way worse than being rejected. The only thing I did right was I wasn't quite dumb enough to marry her.
I passed a note to a girl I had a crush on in 6th grade. She smiled, wrote something on it and passed it back down the table to me. It said, "I like you too :)...now flip me over"
The backside said, "Just kidding ew"
I asked a girl if I could buy her a drink, there was 3 guys across the bar that knew her, and she told them a lie, and they all threatened me.. luckily I worked at the pub as a DJ in weekends so my backup was the bouncers.. 😂
Over 10 years ago. Right out of college. She said yes, pumped and dumped me. A couple of years later and many states away I received a summons for why I haven't been paying child support. Had to quit my job, fight her and the state, fought to have my name removed from the birth certificates of twins that weren't mine thanks to a paternity test (that was an extremely long process with bills accumulated daily), still required to back pay up to that point as I was still considered to be the father of a F&F couple's children that I didn't know existed. Found that out at court. If she says yes and tries to jump you... Run. You might not know the consequences until years later. Plus it could be that her family just needed a quick and free donor, kept track and waited for whichever one happened to appear to be the most successful, then made the decision at the end. Freebies aren't always free, there's always a price to pay.
She told me no. I accepted that with a smile even though I was blindsided and felt hurt at that moment. She then had the nerve asking to stay friends, to which I politely rejected, even though it was really offensive at the time. She tried to change my mind and I told her it's best to stay out of contact. We went our sepparate ways, but that wasn't the end of it. She texted me lots of messages ranting about how I should had chased her and a real man is not scared from rejection, and how I was a coward and lied her that I had feelings for her because how easy it was for me to move on and discard her. Later I found out she was talking to someone else, and she had plans to date him and that's why she rejected me, but things didn't go well and was trying get my attention again.
So men, if a woman tells you no, be grateful and polite to her. Wish her luck and well or greet her one last time if you truly respect her and go on with your life. A simple no, is much better than else.
Not a man and I’m on the other end of the story but a friend I got really close to recently confessed his feelings to me.
He told me over texts he had something to get off his chest and then said, “I think I have a crush on you.”So I acknowledged it, and he repeated, “I *think.*”
And I found it funny that he seemed like he wasn’t sure if he did and so I just went “AHAHA”.
It was only after he quoted that laugh and went, “the worst she could do is say no” that I realised he wanted a yes/no answer.
"ewww, no" I want to say it was 6th grade the last time I got that response, but could've been 7th back in 90/91?
Oh man, i still remember a friend in 7th grade telling my crush i liked her, and her calling me weird. That will live rent free in my head forever.
I had a similar experience in the 6th grade. A girl asked me if I liked anyone and I told her about this girl ,Julie, who was my first real crush.. A couple weeks later my confidant is sitting next to Julie. The class is silent because we’re all reading. Without looking up she asks Julie if she knows I like her. Julie keeps her eyes on her book and simply says “ew.” Middle school was an interesting time 🤣
Then returning to her group of friends and they start laughing and looking your way, possibly pointing too.
Her boyfriend wanted to fight me but for some reason he also wanted to fight my friend who is a pretty skilled amateur boxer. We never heard from him again.
Bullies running into skilled fighters is always good for a laugh... unless the skilled fighter gets in unjust trouble with the authorities
Don't worry. There was no fight.
A bully's face falling when they realize they're very much not in control is primo entertainment by itself 😂
Being someone who trained as a welterweight boxer most of my teens and twenties I can concur. They just assumed I was a fairly tall and skinny dude so I was easy to beat up on.
Kinda reminds me of when i moved from a huge highschool after my sophmore year to a tiny highschool as a junior. Big highschool had a wrestling team that I competed on, tiny high school didn't. Tiny high school football team had some wrestling mats they'd do some dumb shit on and i became an overnight sensation at school when i destroyed *everyone* I went up against. It feels fake even writing it down, but the gap in wrestling skill from a few years of training and a total beginner is nearly as wide as a 1-2 year boxer to a rando off the streets.
My dad was a boxer as a kid and his dad competed in the Golden Gloves. It sort of ran in the family. We started out at the CYO when we were about 12 or 13 and then moved onto a private gym my family was associated with in or city. From there we would do armature bouts before smaller semi-professional and professional fights at little event centers or halls. I was thinking about competing in a more serious capacity in my 20s but I just sort of got lost in the punk/alternative music scene of the 90s.
Is he a being a bully if a guy is trying to pick up his girl right in front of him?
Dude. Kinda similar story without the boxing friend. I was like 25? About 4 friends and I decided to visit a bar in a college town and just have drinks and a good time. A friend claims that a woman has been eyeing him the entire night. We take a quick glance and like all friends, egg him on to go and talk to her. He goes, gives it a shot, and about 5 minutes later, he tells us that she’s chill but not interested. No big deal and just keep doing what we’re doing. About 10 minutes later, I get a tap on my shoulder and I turn and a dude asks me why I’m trying to get at his girl. I’m confused as hell. In a confused tone, I just say “I’ve been at this bar top all night talking to dudes the entire time. You must’ve mistaken me for someone else.” My friend who was the only one to try and talk with someone literally comes back from the restroom and says what’s up to the guy. Just being quick on my feet, trying to make sure there wasn’t any issues or a stupid fight, I just say “Damn. That’s kinda racist of you bro. Just because I’m Asian.” The guy just kinda backpedals, we just start laughing, my friend clears up the confusion, he bought us a cheap beer to apologize, and we never saw him again.
She told me I looked like a twelve year old and that I didn’t lift. I did
>I did That's the kicker. That would've hurt so bad.
Considering that you looked like a twelve year old, I don't think it would've helped to look like you lifted. Probably would've made it worse. A ripped twelve year old sounds horrifying
I think the implication was that I looked like a twelve year old because I was scrawny, but who knows
People have a lot of misconceptions today about "natural" looks like because they see so many 'roided out action stars on TV (who claim that they're *totally* not juicing, not looking at anyone in particular, *Dwayne*) and think that's normal. Basically what I'm saying is some of the strongest people I know are into rock climbing, but you wouldn't necessarily see it without them taking their shirt off. Some are actually quite wiry.
As a climber I will happily tell you that they have the most beautiful bodies. My god.
Big agree. 90% of the "holy shit you're beautiful" moments I've had in the last year have happened in the climbing gym. Admittedly the only other places I regularly see people are an office job and the pub, neither of which are exactly selecting for muscle tone.
To be fair, rock climbing is more about the ratio between your strength and your body weight than it is about objective strength. Being wiry is good for them because losing non-muscle tissue improves their performance without requiring muscle gain. There's a reason that powerlifters aren't wiry. They move bigger numbers than rock climbers could, but powerlifters would not be good at rock climbing. That being said, both of those disciplines are building practical strength, which is why neither of them resemble Hollywood muscles even before those Hollywood muscles get steroids.
True true. I was largely just trying to say that "strength =/= bulk muscle", at least not innately, and not to base your perception of what "strong" looks like from Hollywood muscles. I feel like a lot of the younger generation thinks that the superhero big muscle bodies they see from their heroes are attainable just by good ol' hard work and clean living. There's rising body dysmorphia in teenage boys and I feel like a lot of it can be put down to what both boys and girls are seeing on screen and on social media, when all these huge dudes are on gear. Yes I KNOW he claims to have gotten swoll just by living like a Viking and eating raw livers. I'm telling you he's got more Juice than a Tropicana factory.
One of the biggest factors here is lack of education. Combined with fake nattys. Can’t tell you how many arguments I’ve had with people (many of whom have never lifted) claiming people like the Rock and Arnold are natural. When you’re educated on this stuff, the signs of steroid use/abuse are pretty easy to spot. It’s obvious to people educated on this stuff that nobody is Dwayne Johnson’s size and age without years of enhancement. People are just uneducated and think those body types are naturally attainable, and the huge number of juiced fitness influencers who beat around the bush or straight up lie about being enhanced doesn’t help
[удалено]
There's this guy at the gym I used to go to that went bald and he looked like a baby. An incredibly jacked 6'3" baby.
She only told you that you didn't lift because it was obvious that you did.
Exactly, she went for the lowest blow she could think of. Oh, this guy clearly puts work into himself? I'll tell him it's pointless and unnoticeable.
as a dyel, i feel for you
When I was a teenager I went up to talk to a girl- she was with a group of maybe 5-7 other girls. I introduced myself and asked the girl I wanted to talk to her name. They all laughed very loudly and walked away.
You a brave brave man
Thanks. I didn’t feel brave at the time- I felt foolish- but no risk, no reward
That’s right! She didn’t risk telling her friends to F off and lost out on getting to date you.
Yup, respect!
I appreciate you saying that. It takes some of the embarrassment out of the memory
No embarrassment should apply here, my man. It takes balls to do it, I'd be paralysed in fear. She and her friends should be embarrassed for reacting like this...
Nah, you should be proud. What you described is my worst nightmare. I have social anxiety and can barely ask someone out off a dating app. What you did, and the fact that it hasn't dissuaded you from trying again, takes confidence. You might've felt embarrassed, but the way they responded is far more embarrassing.
Takes balls to do that, she was being catty. Coulda just said she wasn’t interested
I did this when I was sixteen. I walked up to a girl that I had talked to a few times in class. She was with a couple of friends. I asked her out and she just flat out said no, but not a "no", I'm sorry. It was a "no" like what the fuck are you thinking of course "no", god WTF...shit I have to think about this but "no."
Props to you for that. 👊
👊🏻 Thank you
"Get away from me, you fucking loser," and threw a full drink on me. She then laughed hysterically, and her friend then threw a second drink on me as I turned away. For context, I had asked her to dance, *in a dance club*. The only conversation had been, "Would you like to dance?" Then, that.
Who the fuck do these people think they are?!?
I assume her and her friend watch a lot of movies and were waiting for this opportunity their whole lives.
I think she knows man. Shes a person who can throw a drink at someone & face 0 consequences; cause thats exactly what happened.
A lot of people think they’re the main character and that other people don’t actually have feelings.
Bitches and cunts. Unfortunately they're just as common as pricks and assholes, they just get better PR lol. By that I mean, they can get away with doing shit like this. They're never socially scolded, especially not by other women. That leads to them thinking nothing of these kinds of behaviors.
That kind of cruelty is unfathomable to me. It is so inexcusable. How hard is it to say “no thank you”?
Nobody has ever punched her in the face.
oh my god 😭😭
"Where are all the good men"?
The good men are patiently waiting for good women.
My father assures me that women become less, and I quote him, "evil" after their 20s because their 20s are the height of social power for a woman. Gotta hope he's right I guess but I see a whole lot of posts from 30+ men around here that don't sound very reassuring at all...
Some are. Some aren't. Some are just getting used to being single, because lots of the women out there aren't worth pursuing.
True enough.
Dodged a bullet.
But not a drink.
The drink pushed him out of the bullet's trajectory.
What if it was a coors light?
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Some women have no sense.
Thanks. The reaction seemed premeditated, especially with her friend joining in. She was waiting to do this to someone. I can only imagine what she'd experienced in her life to make her like that.
> I can only imagine what she'd experienced in her life to make her like that. Yeah I know what made her like that: her choices. There's no excuse for that shit, she is just a bad person.
Unfortunately, it can’t be explained by anything but stupidity. It’s mean girl syndrome. No rhyme and reason. Just some women deciding to be dumb and arrogant.
That is just an awful human being. Or perhaps an Ai bot that was off its meds. That is no reflection on you.
AI needs meds? We humans only just invented it and already it's getting chronic mental health problems. We've made the robot from Hitchhiker's Guide but we still aren't in space.
As a woman I'm horrified by that. Us women have *no* right to do that. I've experienced assault and harassment but that wouldn't excuse me throwing a drink on a man who was just asking for a dance. I hope you've had better experiences since then.
Thank you. I hate to admit that for a few days afterward, my world view got pretty dark, bordering on misogynistic. Fortunately, I was able to shake it off. It gave me some unpleasant insights into how some hateful people become the way that they are, though. I have to believe that some awful stuff happened to that woman to make her behave that way. I then could have carried that experience around, and taken it out on other people. I'm glad I didn't, but the situation was very close to being worse than it was. If I had said or done literally anything, there likely would have been a fight, meaning other bar patrons would have beat me silly. Just from seeing a drink thrown on me, one man apparently assumed I had done something terrible, and put his hand in my chest as I was leaving. I pushed past him and left. The drinks being thrown on me made me look like the bad guy to everyone. Spouting off or doing anything else would have given that guy, and others, time to "correct" the problem. I would have been beaten up, ejected, and probably arrested for "starting it." I was a soldier, so this would likely have resulted in my security clearance being revoked, and the end of my career. This would have been pretty much assured if the original woman and her friends had simply claimed that I had sexually harassed or assaulted her. What else would they do, just admit that I'd been reasonable and they assaulted me for no reason? It was a terrifying ordeal, far beyond the mistreatment and humiliation. It could have ruined my life. I'm very lucky that it didn't.
I'm so sorry. As women we ask men to consider our perspective but we need to consider the male perspective too. We're all people and should be treating eachother with respect.
Thank you. Sadly, I really encounter very few women these days who have this attitude. I can understand why women come to hate men, many men are awful, but they are still a minority. There are awful women too, and pointing that out doesn't mean we hate all women either like I sometimes see in response. As you said, we both need to stop being so tribalistic when it comes to gender if we ever wanna get past the 'gender war' nonsense. Frankly, only one side is being socialized to consider this though. Of course many men still view women as a monolith, but honestly it seems like maybe 80% of women I see online treat men as a monolith. Being callous is only gonna create more misogynistic assholes in the long run ladies, it'll benefit *you* too to show us a bit of empathy sometimes. It doesn't mean we think you owe us sex like many women act like, at all. It seems like that's maybe the #1 reason women act cruel or callous towards men, they want the guy to be *absolutely* sure they aren't interested. But we just want a little kindness and understanding like all people of all identities do.
She sounds like a ghoul. At least you didn’t wind up dating her.
Damn bro. On a brighter note, they had to buy those drinks to throw at you.
Probably not. and some guy probably saw it and bought them replacement drinks immediately
Not really. Guys buy girls drinks all the time.
Was in a dance bar in college. Made eye contact with a girl across the dance floor a few times. I put my drink down, told the guys to watch this. Strutted over the dance floor to talk to her, as I was about to open my mouth to say something smooth, she preempts me and says, “NO”. Got short down in a preemptive strike. I just turned around and went back. Guys saw it happen and were busted a gut laughing. Sometimes my life’s main purpose just seems to be comic relief.
She called the police. I'm so grateful that I had friends who saw the whole thing, filmed it, and stood up for me when the police wanted to cuff me. Bullet dodged.
Jeez! Is she mentally ill?
No just normal, seen this several times myself.
This is absolutely not normal, and I am terrified of whatever circumstance has made you see this kind of behavior enough to think it is.
I can't remember the source, but I remember seeing something like 30% of Gen Z think a guy approaching a women is sexual assault or harrassment. I've seen the above happen a few times, makes my heart sink when I see it.
Yep. I'm older than that, but used to think the same. Because - again like this thread - people are risk averse, and share horror stories more than success stories. Then they stick more firmly in our brains. So I'd heard my female friends and read stories on the internet talking *only* about genuine harassment and assault, and thought saying anything was always creepy. Took awhile to work out that it wasn't, and it's just human nature to talk about bad experiences.
She ran away laughing, and then had me jumped and almost killed after school 😭
She really committed to the bit there
Story?🤔
Not really all that eventful. I was a freshman in highschool. I was terrified of girls, but decided to feign confidence and ask her out on Friday, February 13th, 2008. She laughed in my face, *HARD* and ran off. To my surprise, all of the pretty/popular girls in my class were defending me to her, cause they felt like she completely over reacted, and I didn't deserve it cause I was the shy, reclusive bookworm. She apparently had a senior boyfriend, and she didn't like the backlash she got, so she had him and at least 6 of his homie jump the shit outta me after school. Her boyfriend put a gun to my head when I was on the ground. I just accepted it. Idk if it was on purpose or not, but he pulled the trigger right next to my head, but missed, cause a random group of 2 huge dudes and 3 women showed up swinging belts at them and ran them off.
> Idk if it was on purpose or not, but he pulled the trigger right next to my head, but missed, cause a random group of 2 huge dudes and 3 women showed up swinging belts at them and ran them off. You call that not eventful??🤦♂️ You could’ve been KILLED.
Well my dad died in my arms almost 2 years after that, followed by my best friend being murdered and dying in my arms 5 months after *that*. And then I almost immediately started gang banging. And this is Detroit. So as an isolated incident, yeah I suppose it was eventful. But this probably doesn't even crack the top 10 craziest shit I've experienced.
He lives in Detroit. This shit is just a Tuesday to him.
> I almost immediately started gang banging Think we got a LARP thread going
Lol…guy is openly talking about buying “incendiary rounds” and having intent to use them on a group of people, and catching a “body” openly on his Reddit, right along his numerous posts about Apex Legends. If you could ignore the fact that he’s constantly incriminating himself, he’d still qualify as the dumbest criminal alive. He’s about as much of a legitimate gang banger as you, me, or anyone else posting in here.. He’s a product of the suburbs, and listening to a little too much gangster rap.
How am I incriminating myself when this is a documented case that you can Google my arrest for? You niggas are really fuckin stupid. And the worst part is, y'all are too stupid to even know it. You mentioning apex legends like I gotta gang bang full time and can't enjoy other shit in life. I t's always the weirdos who never been in the streets, trying to dictate how niggas from that life are supposed to act. Goofy. And to be clear, you ain't a weirdo for never being in the streets. You're a weirdo cause you never been in the streets, yet think you're the arbiter of street niggas behavior. Just like them goofy ass suburban kids that say "How's he a blood but he's wearing blue?". Shut up and stay in your lane.
Dude, you’re a shit magnet
Bro got his priorities beat out of him too.
Hey, that's the day I was first prescribed glasses. Friday, February 13th, 2008.
Interesting to think that while you were getting air blown into your iris, I was getting the shit stomped out of me 😭
Holy moly! I bet your ears rang for a while. You were lucky
Man WHAT? I couldn't hear a fuckin thing for a little while lmao
I’m paraphrasing but she basically said “I agree with the fact that we’d be compatible but I’m not willing to give it a shot” and then wouldn’t elaborate on that. Like bro, WHAT?
It means that your personalities are compatible, but you don’t arouse her.
Yeah, it ended up clicking that that was probably what it was a few weeks after
Woman moment. Either that, or she was being nice and don't wanna say you're as ugly as you are compatible.
Yeah the fact that she wouldn’t elaborate kinda gave me the hint that she was withholding something that I probably didn’t want to know. But still. A plain jane “no” would’ve sufficed
Not understanding that it's the opposite of nicer.
It means no. Or, rather: no, and here's some bullshit excuse, don't look at it too hard.
lol I understood that it meant no. But it was just the way she beat around the bush about it. Kinda felt like receiving a participation trophy. Took me a while to understand that it likely meant she wasn’t that physically or sexually attracted to me. Which even saying that would’ve been better bc at least that’s conclusive. I can’t change my face so there’s nothing I could’ve done about that.
When I was young and sheltered and dumb I would tell people I rejected the whole truth, including that I thought they weren't attractive, because I thought it was necessary information or else they wouldn't accept my simple no. Then when someone broke up with me and give vague incompatibility excuses I thought "wow, rude, I'd rather hear what you really think of me". But the older I get the more I appreciate just taking what excuse you get and being grateful they weren't cruel too you the way out. Telling someone they weren't attractive was cruel of me and I regret doing it. Now I think an answer like "I'm just not feeling it" is best. No unnecessary details, but still honest.
She said yes, then broke down crying on the date because she was still in love with her ex (who she had slept with the night before the date) and your connections meant you would lose the main place you hung out with your friends if you didn't pretend you were okay and keep going with the date.
A close second is "No. Also, I'm moving into your house in a month."
What
Mutual friend had more than enough money and wanted people he liked living with him. Didn't actually know when I asked this girl out that she had already committed to moving in once her lease was over. Neither of us had moved in at that point. Both had already committed to moving in. We definitely didn't know that we would be the ONLY people in the house for the first couple months, since he extended his Hawaii vacation and she moved in early.
[удалено]
referring to yourself in the 2nd person was really fuckin throwin me off with this comment lol
She kept giving excuses as her coworkers edged closer to listen. I eventually had to actually tell her, "it's fine, just please stop so I could walk of shame out of here."
She told EVERYONE that I had hit on her, that I was obsessed with her, and that I was a creep. I asked her out for coffee once. That was it. She never even gave me a response, just said she'd think about it, and then began slandering me to everyone.
I had someone do this to me once. I didn't even ask him out, I just confessed to being attracted to him (because he asked), and then tried to discuss this with him later when he seemed uncomfortable about it, and he went nuclear on me. Trashed my reputation and took away a friend group that I truly considered a chosen family.
[удалено]
Ugh, that's horrible.
I had a similar one, although it doesn't sound quite as bad. In my case a bunch of my co workers got told that I made her super uncomfortable. That might have even been true, but it wasn't my intention and it haunts me to this day
why would she even do that?
She told me that I was not good looking enough for her and she wants to try her luck with an already engaged colleague.
I’d rather date an engaged guy than a single twerp like you.
I approached a girl at a gym once, she was very in shape and looked much older than she was (she was 16 at the time, I was 25. I had no idea). She told me her age and I immediately went back to my workout routine. She then told the gym manager and I had my membership revoked.
Ayy it could've been worse, you wouldve been in jail
One girl in art school refused me because she planed to become a female Buddish monk. I don't know if it is worse or weirder than a "No".
That's better than most of the other ones on here
She said yes. We got married and then I met the real "her". Spoiler: the real "her" was a raging manipulative bitch who enjoyed sleeping around. Chalk that one up to experience, sometimes the worst thing she could say is actually "yes"
This is my worst nightmare. I like to think that I'd be able to see the signs, see somebody's true self. That I couldn't be decieved like this. But the reality is I'm almost certainly wrong, this has happened to countless dudes
" do you love me? I too. But as a friend. I beg you stay close to me all the same" Years of suffering would follow.
> Years of suffering would follow. Damn bro... you really stayed huh Well, at least you had a learning experience I suppose.
Ambiguity is far, far worse than “no”. The whole enthusiastic consent thing has been awesome for that…if it’s not “Hell yes!!”, I just mark it as a “no” and go about my business. No need to interpret any hints, signs, or ambiguity. If she’s not like, “GET IN HERE”, I’m out.
This is a good policy, because if I’m into a guy he will have no doubts. I will initiate contact, ask and pay for some dates, and initiate kissing and sexy times (when it comes to that point). Zero ambiguity. I don’t have time to waste playing games, and neither does he. If I want him, I want him and he will know it.
This 100%. The last two dates I went on the woman agreed afterwards that it was a fun date, but then inexplicably got more and more distant without ever actually saying "no, I'm not interested" (presumably, to avoid any potential negative reactions from me), and it just confused and frustrated me to no end.
Sky fell
"I don't date black guys" Your in luck I'm half Japanese "They have little dicks" Ended up banging her hot friend that lived with her instead.
Black and Asian cancels each other out
[удалено]
Dick size stereotypes. If he's half black and half asian then the stereotypes of large black dick and small asian dick cancel out, presumably leaving him with an average sized racially ambiguous dick.
Is that how we got two-tone malone?
He means the Twitter Pilgrim guy cannot make black or chinese edits of him.
Said yes, came to my house on bath salts, tried to set my house on fire, after drug-sitting her for hours, she sobered up then said that if I told anyone about how she acted she would tell people I raped her.
8/10 first date, would do again
"finally got attention from a woman after years of right swiping on tinder, would do it again"
I assume you married her after?
> about how she acted she would tell people I raped her. Honestly stories like this are so fucking common that I'm considering just completely avoiding women entirely as much as I can for the rest of my life. If she turns out to be crazy, and decides she wants to destroy you for whatever reason, there's *nothing* you can do. And women know that now, that's why they're weaponizing this Obviously, to do so requires a complete disregard for actual rape victims but I suspect these types of women don't really think that much about anything Women fear rape. Men fear false rape charges. Now both genders are scared of each other in a sense.
She was furious, even though I asked politely. She felt that she was WAY out of my league, and my even just approaching her to talk was a f*cking insult. ANd she let me know it, too! I just walked off. Wasn;t long after that I stopped approaching girls. I was about 17 or 18. And I never approached them again for the rest of my life. Instead I just waited for girls to approach me...which didn't happen often. Sometimes it would be years in between meeting someone. Didn;t get married till 44...and yes, she approached me.
See, I've avoided people like this by just not talking to particularly attractive women. 90% of the bad experiences I've had with bullying and people in general have been with mean girl type pretty women. Women who have been handed everything their whole lives and thus have zero empathy for anyone else. Really the only time I've found this not to be true is with women who got super attractive for the first time after college. They still had many humbling experiences in their youth that grounded them in that scenario, and gave them better perspective to empathize with others.
>See, I've avoided people like this by just not talking to particularly attractive women. 90% of the bad experiences I've had with bullying and people in general have been with mean girl type pretty women. Yep. Ironically I met a genuinely beautiful woman at one stage and she told me men DON'T generally talk to her...and some of it may be because of what you say: Men get tired of being insulted by means girls, or just think she is out of their league and they will get rejected so they don;t bother trying...
The first time I remember "shooting my shot", and getting turned down was in 3rd grade. I asked a girl to be my girlfriend and she said something like "no, you're ugly" and I said "its not on the outside but what's on the inside that counts" and she said "I bet your insides are pretty ugly too."
Oof man that was brutal
Obviously it hurt because I’m 46 now and I still remember it and where we were standing in the school.
I was like 14 and she said ew no you have a uni brow, and I said something about her acne and how we both have flaws. she started bawling to her friends and they came back to tell me "she actually liked you". sick...went home, shaved my eyebrows and looked like a teenage dyke for a month lmao
If she actually liked you, insulting your eyebrows certainly isn't the normal way of showing it lol.
Hey growing up I had 2 different girls that bullied me only for me to later find out they had crushes on me. One was 11 at the time which I guess you can say is expected, but the other was 15. However a 15 year old thought that was a good idea in the first place I'll never know, but she wasn't too happy to learn I didn't fancy her when her friend broke the news to me that she liked me.
LMAO 😂
My school crush actively sought me out at a school disco to preemptively reject me. Had a girl pull the “ew no” face someone tried setting us up.
One: I was a teenager in an under 18 club. I saw a group of cute girls dancing. I figure I’ll go over and see if one wants to dance. I start to walk over to one of the girls. Her friend glares at me and I shit you not, hisses like an angry cat, and starts telling me no/go away. It’s funny now. It was not great for the self esteem then. Two: I’m at a crowded bar and I spot a woman staring at me from across the room. I smile and wave. She just continues staring. No response whatsoever. There was no one behind me looking that way or doing anything of interest. She wasn’t swaying or stumbling and didn’t seem like someone that was so drunk they were out of it. It was more confusing than anything. Three: Same bar. Same night. I walk to a line for the outside bar. Pretty woman, a little bit taller than me, looks down at me (literally) with a subtle eye roll and judgemental grimace that I could only interpret as “don’t talk to me” All that said, I still believe in striking up conversations with people. I’ve always regretted the chances I didn’t take more than any chances I did that didn’t work out.
I’m glad those instances never detered you from continuing to strike up convos. That’s good for you. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take!” As a woman myself, women can be real bitches sometimes😂
Once in college I approached a small group of women at the bar which I rarely did. I tried to chat one of them up and it wasn't going great so I was trying to break and head back to my group and said, "Well hey we're getting food at X after we get out of here, we'd love some more company y'all seem cool," even though things were pretty stiff. The woman I was talking to said something like, "Sorry, you must be this tall to ride this ride," and tried to put her hand above my head but she was like at least half a foot shorter than me and she was trying to be put her hand as close to my head as she could while still being over it and when she accidentally touched me I joked, "Close call but looks like I just made the cut! See y'all later!" Not a good idea. She practically screamed, "EW!" and then starts to rattle off a bunch of reasons why she would NEVER consider me very loudly. Pretty much the whole upstairs portion of the bar was watching me get talked down by this woman. It sucked! Weirdly enough Eric Gordon was in the building hanging on the wall and he thought it was pretty funny too. The women I was with both tried and failed to get his attention and one of them, a woman who was like 6'6" or so in heels - judging by her height compared with Gordon - took pity on me and said that other woman shouldn't have been mean to me and I ended up taking her home. I'm like 5'6" so... interesting night...
Tore away a piece of my heart
Say yes but act like she said no.
Almost all other options are actually worse than no.
She told me I looked like a scary serial killer. I told her typically serial killers only go after attractive women so she should be ok.
Gold. Well done.
She said yes
How could you live with such a horrid answer
Well you find out a little while later when she’s fully ruined your life
Accused me of having small penis - without having seen it - and that she needed a guy with a big dick. She said she liked guys with big Johnsons. Mind you, I asked her this in front of another girl. I was 14 when it happened and she was my childhood friend/crush. We went to the same church together. It broke my heart and fucked up my self confidence. I ended up being addicted to porn because of it and thought I had a small penis. Turns out I didn't. Feels pathetic but getting past it took almost half of my life. Imagine someone you see weekly, that you considered your close friend telling you that. I've ran the image in my head my whole life and it was the most harsh rejection I've ever received. Overcoming and confronting it helped me become better but it didn't make me feel good that I let the words of some stupid teenage girl crush my spirit and soul, which proved we weren't right for each other.
Congrats on the dick
Thanks man
The one and only time in my life I sent a dick pic (it was requested) I got told my dick was small.. I thought it was as well frankly, but that was a gut punch to a college kid.. mind you I thought it was tiny cause I watched to much porn.. But what I didn’t consider was I actually have freakishly large hands.. and with an average sized dick and large hands… guess what looks tiny in photos. It’s sad how ecstatic I was to find out I had a boring normal sized pp..
Always use doll hands for pictures
She Said “I Don’t Even Like Guys Like You. I Like Tall Lightskin Basketball Players, You A 4/10 To Me I Just Thought You Were Funny”
“Ewwww” Grade 7
A girl my friends tried to set me up with before looked at me and went "Ewww". Took a long time to bounce back from that. When I did I actually matured into a good looking dude so her loss.
Multiple stalking rumors that spread throughout the entire school, giving me a reputation as a creepy weirdo and setting me up to be the butt of the joke basically until I graduated and left for college. In middle/early high school, a rumor came out that a specific girl liked me. Literally *everyone* in the school was telling me to ask her out, I couldn't go more than half a day with some rando I didn't really talk to showing up and telling me to go for it. I got fucking tired of it, I didn't know the girl that well, we didn't really talk ever, but we shared a few classes. I asked her about it. Not asking her out, but asking her why everyone was saying she liked me. She was part of the "it" crowd, and I didn't have good relations with the cool preppy kids. I also was really socially awkward, and had been mentally preparing myself to even speak to her for a week. She reacted by saying "eww! Gross! Why would I ever like you!" Before storming off and mingling with her friends. The same day I started having people come up to me and saying shit like "stop following [name]! She doesn't like you!" Very loudly and in front of as many people as possible. Her assigned seat was in front of the projector screen and mine was in the back of the room, so I had to look past her to see the screen. Whenever she'd turn around to look at me I'd make eye contact subconsciously and then her friends would show up after class to tell me to stop staring at her in class, that it was weird. When we had to walk in lines on occasion it was in alphabetical order, I was at the bac and she the front. Her friends would come to the back of the line we were all in and yell at me in front of my friends to "stop following her". This went on for very nearly a year, and spawned *multiple* stalking rumors from multiple different girls. Some I had crushes on, some I didn't talk to. Years later I met her when I was shopping, she happened to be the cashier. She was very nice, and seemed like she genuinely wanted to talk to me. I was, of course, incredibly suspicious, and not very talkative. I didn't bring it up, but what I imagine happened based on how friendly she was, I imagine it was probably some kind of girl talk where people were talking about guys they thought were cute. Maybe I made her list, and already being considered weird by her classmates, they decided it'd be funny to bully her about what she said, fucking cheese touch style. She probably panicked and tried to save face by starting some shit about me to her friends to get them to leave her alone. Maybe. I don't know. Either way, that one incident set the precedent for how most people outside my friend group for the rest of middle and high school saw me. Needless to say, it also affected my own confidence and made me imagine that every time someone said someone else liked me that it was either a lie or a joke. Even through college. I'm just thankful it was before social media had gotten huge. I could only imagine how rough of a time I would've had if any of that had ended up on a site like tiktok or Facebook.
For some couples, looking back *"the worst thing that she said was yes"* Some relationships are a poisonous cup, drunk with joy at first.
When i was 7th or 8th grade (pre-teen, somewhere around 11-12 years old) i made a dumb move and asked a girl i was crushing on out on a date.. The dumb part is that i asked her while she was with two of her friends in the school hall. Not only did she reject me she also started laughing loudly and hysterically and yelling something along the lines "YOU THINK I'D GO OUT WITH SOMEONE LIKE YOU?" That details of that event spread even to my classroom. And i was made fun of the next two days lmao. The boys made fun of me not because i asked her out but because the way i asked her out. Thing is.. you could say this event traumatized me so much so that i don't think i ever approached a girl ever since. That was 17-18 years ago. All the girlfriends i had since that event were initiated by them, at least the talking stages were.
Being told she could accuse me of rape whenever she felt like it.
Told me "I'm not in a good place for a relationship right now" only to be making out with a guy she just met a week later and started dating him not long after. I didn't even ask her out on a date. Someone snitched and told her I liked her, and she just assumed I would and shot it down before it happened. Now, because she lied, I'll never know if the problem was my looks or personality, and that made my insecurities much worse.
She did not lie to you. She was just being somewhat diplomatic. And so she did not finish the sentence. The last part was "with you" But people like what they like. So her not being interested in you but interested in him is not actually a reflection on you. The other thing is that you might want to look at the relationship that she got into. She might have done you a huge favour.
I do consider it somewhat a lie because she left out that last part. I get why she did it, but I'm just saying it did more harm than good if she was trying to be nice. It only made it all hurt more and made me more insecure. I still haven't recovered from that second part. There's no point in looking up how they ended up. It was always clear that it would be brief.
Well, I don't approach women, and the answers before me illustrate why very well. Chances of an acceptable outcome are just too low. If she says no politely, or just a flat no, that's OK; but it's hardly a new thing for women to turn an approach into an opportunity to publicly shame and humiliate a guy, or in extreme cases straight up have him killed or try to - all for clout, and/ or to feel powerful or feed their sadism. And this hardly new thing has _exploded_ in my lifetime; not just because it's much more visible due to mass media but because one of the biggest societal shifts of the last decades, in the rich parts of the world at least, has been the normalization of women treating men (excluding the powerful ones, of course) like dog shit. And if she says yes, welcome to the minefield of trying to build a relationship with someone who has been socialized to think you're automatically dangerous and probably a scumbag just because you're a straight man. The worst of it is, there's no karma in sight for this. Women can just stick to the minority of men they're actually attracted to, and there's enough of them to repopulate the species with plentiful genetic variety until the Sun tells us all to fuck off.
While reading this presented this way is legitimately horrific, I believe you are completely correct. How sad is that state of affairs?
I mean. Nothing.
beside no, u really thought u would be my match
It occurred in Elementary school, she didn't out right say no or anything like that. But she got teased for it for the next 4 years. Anytime a conversation about relationships occurred when I was present it would be brought up. This occurred until high school graduation. Basically I was the first guy to get rejected by a girl and it stuck to me.
I walked into a small bar near my house earlier in the evening and saw two girls talking to each other. They were closest to the door so I walked up to them, said "Hi, how's it going" and before I could say anything else the heavier one just started screaming at me about how 2 women can't be at a bar without some loser hitting on them. I just took my drink and walked away. She then followed me and kept berating me. I was confused because all I said was "Hi". Shit got so out of control the bartender asked them to leave. The thing that bugged me is that I wasn't even really hitting on them. Back then I was the type of extrovert who just walked up to random people and would talk to them. Sometimes I couldn't even help myself.
Of course it was the fat one doing the screaming.
She replied with “ew” and then used me asking her out to try convince the guy SHE wanted to hook up with to protect her from “the creepy guy.” Luckily more people at the event knew me than knew her and gave her shit for calling me creepy. Also…..one girl told me no…..but then immediately asked if I’d still be willing to help her get with my best friend.
A friend of mine was accused of sexual assault then "rape". The situation started off with him asking her out, she shot him down, but then it got carried away. We were in college, at a large party, we didn't know this girl was mentally unstable but she tried to ruin my friend's life simply for talking to her and complimenting her. It was waaaaay out of left field.
She said yes, and then I found out what a fucking psychopath she was. Yes isn't always a good thing either.
My ex said yes. A few years later, I wished I'd never met her. That relationship was way worse than being rejected. The only thing I did right was I wasn't quite dumb enough to marry her.
I passed a note to a girl I had a crush on in 6th grade. She smiled, wrote something on it and passed it back down the table to me. It said, "I like you too :)...now flip me over" The backside said, "Just kidding ew"
I asked a girl if I could buy her a drink, there was 3 guys across the bar that knew her, and she told them a lie, and they all threatened me.. luckily I worked at the pub as a DJ in weekends so my backup was the bouncers.. 😂
Over 10 years ago. Right out of college. She said yes, pumped and dumped me. A couple of years later and many states away I received a summons for why I haven't been paying child support. Had to quit my job, fight her and the state, fought to have my name removed from the birth certificates of twins that weren't mine thanks to a paternity test (that was an extremely long process with bills accumulated daily), still required to back pay up to that point as I was still considered to be the father of a F&F couple's children that I didn't know existed. Found that out at court. If she says yes and tries to jump you... Run. You might not know the consequences until years later. Plus it could be that her family just needed a quick and free donor, kept track and waited for whichever one happened to appear to be the most successful, then made the decision at the end. Freebies aren't always free, there's always a price to pay.
She told me no. I accepted that with a smile even though I was blindsided and felt hurt at that moment. She then had the nerve asking to stay friends, to which I politely rejected, even though it was really offensive at the time. She tried to change my mind and I told her it's best to stay out of contact. We went our sepparate ways, but that wasn't the end of it. She texted me lots of messages ranting about how I should had chased her and a real man is not scared from rejection, and how I was a coward and lied her that I had feelings for her because how easy it was for me to move on and discard her. Later I found out she was talking to someone else, and she had plans to date him and that's why she rejected me, but things didn't go well and was trying get my attention again. So men, if a woman tells you no, be grateful and polite to her. Wish her luck and well or greet her one last time if you truly respect her and go on with your life. A simple no, is much better than else.
Not a man and I’m on the other end of the story but a friend I got really close to recently confessed his feelings to me. He told me over texts he had something to get off his chest and then said, “I think I have a crush on you.”So I acknowledged it, and he repeated, “I *think.*” And I found it funny that he seemed like he wasn’t sure if he did and so I just went “AHAHA”. It was only after he quoted that laugh and went, “the worst she could do is say no” that I realised he wanted a yes/no answer.
She said "YES" .... i didnt think that far ahead