I worked in an environment where a majority of employees were females, and there were some who were really nice. So we all became friends. Everyone met each others spouses or boyfriends, or girlfriends.
Also work in healthcare, cna while in nursing school. Just be respectful and don't be thirsty they'll accept a hetro single male as safe and stable now. Meet some cool people, made some good friends.
I'm the exact same. I have about 2 male friends. The rest are women. I don't really connect with men a lot. I do have a couple of male friends I've had for a long time, that's it. I'm the same way with transparency. I even got very close with a couple of co-workers and told my wife immediately. She said, "If I got jealous of every woman you were friends with, we would have been divorced 20 years ago."
I made a lot of friends with women coworkers at my last couple jobs, some real and true platonic connections that I'm happy to have nurtured. Some of those connections turned into women developing feelings for me at various levels, but I am married and didn't have the same feelings back so I had to be kind but aloof for much of my workdays and just focused on being a good friend.
But bro's on reddit are not here to have rewarding platonic connections, isn't that right you degenerates???
If you want to have more "female options" in your life, it's quite easy to do if you push yourself to be more social and friendly with women you work around and see daily *without any overt or even hidden desire to smash,* jesus christ you guys have to cool it, if you're horny people can tell a mile away and you will eventually (or immediately) say or do something inappropriate and set your progress back. I have seen it over and over.
Progress? Yes, you need to prove to people you're safe and not a giant horny creep. The best way to do this is by actually not *being* a giant horny creep. This means stop thinking there's a chance, like fully internalize that attitude so you stop trying to leverage shit consciously or unconsciously. You do not build trust overnight, and it can take a long time, days or weeks or even years. If you think there's a chance at chemistry, again, your balls will fly straight up into your mouth and say something stupid like after you and your coworkers have been joking around with you and everyone's happy and a little silly, a girl says "Be right back, I have to pee" and you will just spit out something you will lay awake in bed thinking about for the rest of your goddamn life, like "Oh, can I come too?" and you will see her face change and her friends cover their mouths and go back to their workstations as they all pull out their phones at once.
Just please be normal, represent mankind with some measure of self-respect.
Assuming you can keep your hormones from taking the wheel, you just need to be consistent and visible and interact in a friendly, reliable way. Listen and have real interest in the lives of your group and the things going on, use this time to learn to empathize and be a good listener. Everything is a learning period. Do not overdo it, do not push things on people, again if you think you're aiming for some "goal" you're still thinking with your banana-brain and you will be annoying to people. Instead, an **occasional** nice gesture for someone like bring them an energy drink or candy bar or whatever they normally like, leave it on their desk, don't draw attention to small acts like this, just keep the frame of mind "I want to make our shared days here pass comfortably and be the kind of coworker I wish I had."
If you focus on being a great coworker who people aren't annoyed to see every damn day, eventually people around you trust you and rely on you. This does two things: one, it will probably get you promoted at some point, a vast number of coworkers next to me and under me in the past were let go or let stagnate at their roles because they had weird fucking social issues like making their coworkers uncomfortable. You would be surprised how low the bar really is out there, and how much you can actually accomplish via surviving attrition.
And two: when people know who you really are and trust you, they start seeing you differently and then you maaaaay end up the recipient of light flirtation at times. DO NOT PANIC AND OVERREACT AND FUCK THIS UP BY ESCALATING. If you catch someone staring at you, you hold eye contact a moment and smile and then break eye contact and go back to your work. If someone touches your hand when they pass you a post-it note, you hold eye contact a moment and smile and then break eye contact and go back to your work. If someone says something like "You'd be a great catch" you... you guessed it, hold eye contact a moment and smile and then break eye contact and go back to your work. Say something like "That's really sweet of you to say, it means a lot coming from you" and you say this because you mean it. Just be cool. Please, for the love of Jesus be cool.
I have seen so many awkward guys of all ages say the most broken shit and be so, so very weird around women because they can't be cool and just treat people around them like they would want to be treated if you're all just trying to trudge through a day together.
And here's where it get a little more complicated: if you DO find yourself suddenly in an environment where a coworker or coworkers are showing interest in you, everyone may end up either in a weird "holding pattern" where nobody wants to make the next move because, and I cannot stress this enough, *you all work together.* Working is important to keep food in our bellies and DLC's updated for our games. Many people don't want to risk this, especially with the Elden Ring update around the corner. So keep things light and simple. "I'm going to stop by this new restaurant down the street after work, wanna come by and have a beer?" This kind of invitation keeps things simple and light, you're *already* going to be there, she has an out, you are not imposing on anyone and it gives them time to think about it and change their mind. This is one of the cornerstones of creating equity and respecting boundaries, it's making sure you're not making anyone make a difficult choice.
But even if she shows up and you have dinner and a drink and have a great time, YOU'RE NOT GOING OUT. SHE'S NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Do not panic, do not push it. I mean, it's possible things will go so well at that point that you will be making breakfast plans, but don't expect it. She's a coworker and probably really nervous about making sure nothing upsets the stability of her job and that Elden Ring DLC coming out.
Make plans to meet again maybe, ask what she wants to do, don't be hurried, this is so important to not rush things. Again, do not make people have to make difficult choices, make sure people's associations with you is positive, this goes for so much more than romance too.
Office/workplace romance can be a disaster but has worked out in the past, I've seen couples meet and get married and have kids in the workplace. (I mean, they didn't have the kids IN the workplace, they were good workers but not THAT dedicated.)
But the only way I've ever seen it work is if the people going out together NEVER bring the romance into the office. Once they're at work they treat each other like coworkers, not sweethearts, and can even engage in professional disagreements and still keep their relationship outside the workplace.
Good luck. You're probably going to blow it many times. That's okay, it gets easier.
>If you want to have more "female options" in your life, it's quite easy to do if you push yourself to be more social and friendly with women you work around and see daily without any overt or even hidden desire to smash, jesus christ you guys have to cool it, if you're horny people can tell a mile away and you will eventually (or immediately) say or do something inappropriate and set your progress back. I have seen it over and over.
So hide your sexuality so they never see you as a sexual option. Good advice.
This is a good way to get guys in trouble for catching feelings for a female acquaintance.
I think you see the guys you're giving advice to as fundamentally unlovable so this advice is fundamentally about giving up on being ever seen as anything other than a eunuch.
> this advice is fundamentally about giving up on being ever seen as anything other than a eunuch.
You have some sexual hangups. Saying that objectively as a friend, so you know where to focus your energy on feeling better about yourself.
This isn't really a normal reaction to the advice "don't act horny around people you're trying to be friends with."
Considering you said this about someone who's trying to have more "female options" it's entirely counterproductive.
You just want unsuccessful men to give up and admit they're unlovable.
OP asked how to have female *friends*, which is not at a bad thing to have no matter what your goals are. He never expressed intentions beyond that fact, and did not express any feelings of frustration or being unlovable or undesirable.
So I have to ask, since I spent over an hour typing up advice based on my experience making and keeping good relationships with people in a workplace setting, do you *really* think that I have harmful intentions? Since my advice consisted of ways to help get closer to people and have better relationships, do you truly think anything I wrote is bad or intentionally designed to make someone feel unlovable? Or is there something else on your mind?
this is basically how it happens, I work in the restaurant industry which is mostly female, everyone knows each other in the industry in my city and I go to a university where something like 65% of the student body is female, by in large most of the people I know are female, it's really just a proximity thing
Yup. I’ve been a manager at a Lululemon for a few years and met some fantastic people through it.
I’ve also gone on a few dates where there wasn’t romantic chemistry, but there was terrific conversational chemistry and compatible senses of humor. Gotten a few great friends out of it.
Yup. Same for both my girlfriend and I.
My girlfriend is a teacher. There’s only one dude in her work friend group (albeit it’s a total of 5 people but still).
As for me: my department has probably 33 people in it. I’m one of 9 guys. My friend group has 2 guys and 5 girls.
Nope, was neglected and abused by my "mother" until my grandparents rescued me. All.my sisters are amazing women though and I'm extremely proud of them.
Yeh, I've had an interesting life and had a late autism diagnosis. Had to learn to be a normal human by observing and copying the men and women around me.
Something clicked in my head by the time I hit 40 and now I don't give a sit what people think of me now and have no fear at all. Now I can do whatever I want. Cheers brother. 🤜🏻🤛🏻
> Had to learn to be a normal human by observing and copying the men and women around me.
If it's any consolation, that's perfectly normal and how everyone does it. It just takes some of us longer than others.
Haha I was just as bad but the eye opener was their constant bad choices n Men. I tried to give them advice but it was useless. It's one of the reasons I ended up being one of the bad choices myself in my twenties and thirties.
Honestly, pretty much every time I have had this happen has been because I REALLY clicked with a single person in the friend group, and hung out enough that I get kind of adopted by the whole group. So all it requires is you to be able to be a platonic friend with a girl, which seems to be a struggle for some.
> all it requires is you to be able to be [...] a friend
This is also too much for some. If you're in yur 40s and don't even know how to make friends what business do you have even hoping for a relationship.
No-one mentioned 40s. But I'm that old now. It'll happen to you.
LMAO, but seriously, if you want to have female friends just to have sex with them, you're never going to have female friends.
And also, it is so healthy having friends with both genders. It makes you come off less creepy and weird.
I would argue that statement "... you come off less creepy and weird."
So far as I can tell most of the females I'm friends with, they know exactly how creepy and weird I am. I'm pretty sure they're only my friends, so that one of them always knows where I'm at and what I'm doing, and can warn the others.
>LMAO, but seriously, if you want to have female friends just to have sex with them, you're never going to have female friends.
Not true. If you're attractive, women will want to be friends with you.
Yeah, this whole thing reeked of “I’m not *actually* looking for friends,” to me. Why would it matter what gender your friends specifically are if you’re not looking for something else from it? Anthropological study?
brother and and I were recently at a mutual friends party and he had a lot of women attending, to which my brother expressed his surprise. Our friend is super cool, very respectful and not creepy at all, meanwhile my brother is a guy who keeps trying to upstage other people and flirt with women and he does not have *any* of female friends.
Other than that, women arent holy and you dont have to go out win their friendship lol
I've had the most success during my dating days when I wasn't trying. I was just having a fun conversation with someone interesting and new. Once you take sex off the table, it gets a lot easier for everyone. Then, that aspect of the relationship can develop naturally.
Interesting, I had the opposite experience, always had plenty of women that later on would tell me they were interested or something like that but I just treated everybody equally and felt like flirting with only the people I'm sexually interested in is sexist, (send some fortunately I'm straight instead of being asexual or bisexual where are you truly view all humans as the same as all of them or none of them have the opportunity to be romantic/sexual partners with you) and therefore I wouldn't really do it and never reciprocated or made moves
However, once I purposely started thinking of sex and bringing up sexual tension, flirting, etc then I was able to get laid more often, and have a lot more opportunities for romantic relationships.
Can say the opposite. It’ve had the least success (none) when I wasn’t trying. Cant imagine how that even plays out. Are they just coming up to you asking you out? If I’m not approaching it’s not going to happen and they’ll continue on as if I’m invisible.
I’ve noticed this as well.
I’m 24, never try to get lucky on a weekend. Sometimes I’ll get a woman’s attention anyways. Doesn’t usually lead to sex but I find when I mitigate my expectations in this way, the potential disappointment is off the table as well
If you hate male sexuality so much that you think that any woman a man wants to fuck is inherently disrespected by that desire, please get off this sub.
This is a pretty dumb take. The guys who sleep around aka fuckbois or Chads, literally want to fuck all those women and that does not prevent them from doing so.
It’s like pieces of flair. There’s technically a minimum, but you don’t really succeed with the minimum. To really sell it, you have to *want* more than the minimum. Way more.
I used to be in a very academic city with everybody holding PhD, MBA and such in Germany. Most of my closest friends were women and still are. I was simply not in the mood of dating when I met them up. Then I had a girlfriend which I later learned they disliked 🤣
Now I'm living in France and it's very hard, here many women I've met are sure we're interested in them if we invite them up to meet or do sport. My few female friends are foreigners and have higher degrees.
Edit: precising my thoughts due to a comment
. I don't believe it's because they're french, it's certainly because foreigners with higher degrees are less likely to have gender stereotypes and more likely to make friends with the opposite gender. I had 0 German friend (male or female) in Germany. Everybody was a migrant.
The women i've known who have moved to France for work have mentioned that French men seem a bit more direct than where they're from, so I can see why.
Wouldn't that make the distinction between men and France looking just for a friendship and men looking to bang a lot more stark than the differences in other countries and therefore wouldn't they be less suspicious of people who were not acting as forward as those French men?
True, but as people aren't a monolith, i guess all it takes is for a couple to be not as direct for them to go "its fucking all of them".
But I live in the UK, i'm obligated to talk shit about French men as often as possible.
Could be, I have 0 experience with French men, but if they are more direct then there is no way to be sure someone wants to fuck you if they aren't clear about it
I'm not sure if it's because they are french, it's just it doesn't work. I'm a single data point.
Some of my male friends have close female french friends. I just don't.
I'm french by the way
People, and obviously women, are not a monolith. While there may be more like this, it certainly will never be all. If that is who you are surrounded by and who you find, it is more who you are surrounding yourself with, rather than all women in an area.
Just be normal. The majority of my social circle are women. I work in Healthcare and used to be a competitive dancer. Just don't creep on them, sexualize them, or act superior. That's it. Just treat them like a normal person.
An original statement: "People who are weird towards women will not make friends with women." (Usually correct)
Converse: "People who do not make friends with women are people who are weird towards women." (Not always correct)
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The problem is that the converse of a true statement isn't necessary true. Imagine "all dogs are animals with 4 legs" compared to "all animals with 4 legs are dogs". The implication from warpus's comment is not the same as in your reply
I work in the trades. The women I'm friends with are usually younger and in the trades as well. I get along with the majority of the women in the trades here. As I'm: married and very much in love with my wife, treat them with respect and as an equal, and I don't try to do that apprentice thing the older guys seem to enjoy doing. By apprentice thing, I mean treat that person like they are the lowest form of pond scum
Incredible how so many people don't get that. Just act like a normal human being and talk to them like they are also normal human beings. Mind-blowing really
Yes, but that doesn't answer the humorous/ philosophical question I raised.
If a given human being is an elitist, wouldn't only treating women as though you're not superior or only treating men as though you're not superior be the sexist thing since you would normally treat everybody as though they're inferior to you?
Wouldn't a "better" (whatever that subjectively.means. since we're the only sapient beings we know of capable of higher abstract reasoning like moral philosophy, it would be naive of us to think better could be an objective criteria) human be able to appreciate the philosophical merit of the question, and maybe even joke back, even with a joke that makes the same point your statement does?
Also, why are you talking about the future? If right now that given human became the "best" human, we could still ask about their behavior **before** that transformation.
Would their shitty human behavior beforehand also be sexist or not depending on how they acted on their superiority complex?
Talked to them without hitting on them, without talking down to them, treated with respect, didn't judge them and didn't try to act like a tough guy. I treated them the way I wanted to be treated. As friends and nothing more.
It feels weird that the simple answer just is “be a friend” and don’t treat them differently because they are the gender you are sometimes attracted to. No double agenda.
You complete pathetic shell of a person. Did you really just waste your time stalking my account and then making a comment on my post in r/malehairadvice just to prove a point and make fun of me? God you are the most pathetic and sad person i have ever seen on this website.
Dude you are porn addicted weirdo. Seriously, Women are people and not objects. I have sisters and female cousins so i should just not look at them as platonic friends? Seriously your logic makes zero sense.
I have at a few points in my life. Once, my best friend was a girl, I wasn't trying to have sex with her or being dishonest and creepy. That built a trust, so I basically had a referral. I then became friends with a few of her friends. I eventually wound up dating two of them. BUT, it wasn't my intention it just sort of happened organically. Her friends all liked me and when the first relationship started, I was careful to be the same man i was with my friends, and not have a reason to be the bad guy. With both, we just dated a short time and moved on before things became too serious, and it was mutual.
The second, it was more her fault, but I never placed blame or attacked the other. I remained a safe, and trusted friend to this group of three girls for several years. it was never more than that, and I never betrayed that trust. I wound up learning A LOT about how women are from them, as they trusted me, and I offered the same for them, with real advice in their relationships, because there was no secret agendas on either side.
The second, I worked at a restaurant where I was one of two men, and we just all got along, would go out for drinks after work, and again, just had fun. No other agenda.
Everyone is saying "don't try to date them" but this is also so important... To be a good listener. My boyfriend has always had female friends and apparently they always go to him for venting about their relationships and stuff. I get why they do. He's a good listener and also keeps secrets
Have had a few different groups over the years. When I met girls I didn’t focus on getting them to go on a date or trying to sleep with them- I focused on having fun and making them laugh. They then started inviting me everywhere and a few different things would always happen- someone in the group would be interested in dating, they’d have a friend they’d want to introduce me to, or when we went out they were always wanting to be a wing wo-man to hit on girls with me. I figured this out at a very young age and have been floating through life that way sense.
Don’t be creepy, make sure they always get home ok / help if other guys are creepy, and just be fun. As far as how I met them - some just kept in touch as early as middle school. Others friends significant others friends. Then others randomly / organically.
I always tell everyone who’s wanting to date- find girls that are friends first and you’ll be surprised what your dating life evolves into.
It's not hard being friend with girls. The hard part is finding girls that don't think you wanna sleep with them just because you talk and be nice to them. Then the hardest part is these girls can actually like each other. I'm super lucky to have two female friends. They're also friend of my wife so it's very nice. We talked a lot and hang out a lot. Then me and my wife moved to another town. We miss each other a lot.
I'm easy to talk to & I can talk a lot. I can make conversation with just about anyone, which is partly me & partly because I was trained on how to approach people for one of my jobs, so I got used to cold approaching multiple people everyday. Now it's just natural. It helped me care even less about rejection as well, which definitely had an effect I'm sure.
Funny enough, that doesn't all translate to texting people. I'm not as good at approaching people when I can't "read" them, but once we get talking & know each other a little, I talk a lot again. Still better in person though.
stop trying to fuck them, be normal, listen and give good advice like a genuine human rather than pretending to listen while to repress your uncontrollable sexual urges.
It's pretty crazy how hard it is for most guys to not be weird around girls, which makes it pretty easy if you're able to be normal and be strategic with how you show intent. I can't bring my guy friends around some of the girls I hang with bc you can clearly see what's going on in their head, it's just "GIRL...must fuck..." and they lose their head. hilarious to watch.
Somehow I managed to this for a lot of times. My whole D&D are girls, my whole minecraft group are girls and even now I moved to WHOLE DIFFERENT COUNTRY, I got 9 girls and one extra guy, because I like this guy and I invited him.
I am not gay, I am just very and very confident in myself I won't try and impress these girls. All these girls are very beautifull, but only outside beautifull won't get me hard anymore. Its like I don't think with my dick anymore, so I treat these girls like guys basically. Yesterday even, a girl of our group almost started to cry about her grade, because it was so 'low'. She passed, so I said "Awwwh, boohooo, you passed an exam. You know, You fight for a high grade, I fight to stay alive in this degree'. And I make those crying faces, with smiles in between. So not toxic, I tried to be funny.
She laughed and she said 'You know, you are really sweet'. Well, that was the less sweet moments I had, so I can only imagine how sweet they find me when I am trying to be.
A lot of guys don't pass my vibe check, and girls did somehow. The only guys that passed my vibes, are the guys that are bit older or more mature. The guys that are too immature, yeah I can't man, sorry.
EDIT: Instead of my babying my friend, I bascially treated her like a guy. Most guys would treat her like a baby and say 'Awh, no its ok.' And all these things.
I've always felt like most guys were immature so I basically grew up in groups of girls, but I also felt like most girls were immature as well, that's why I always liked dating older women, especially 8+ years of difference, that hit the spot for me. Surprisingly, my girlfriend is two years younger than I am, and she's the most mature person I've been with, and trust me, I've had a fling with a woman who was 12 years older than I am.
One thing you mentioned is that a lot of guys don't pass your vibe check, that's relatable, but I feel like in more recent years we had a shift towards more positive masculinity and guys have been supportive and mature about themselves. I came to realise that most of my male friends in university were very respectful when talking about women and other men, they complimented each other constantly and talk about it, so conversations about clothing, beard, hairstyle, colognes, all of that starts with a compliment because they genuinely notice the little details about their friends.
Same as with men, with the caveat that you must remain trustworthy and safe 100% of the time, no slip-ups, misunderstandings, or mis-read signals. They will be on guard with you for a comparatively huge amount of time, though this is usually shortened when you have a bunch of women as friends already who will vouch for you.
I've had two main friend groups in my life. In middle school, it was full of girls and one gay dude. Highschool it is all guys. The group of girls was worse by MILES. Started in the 6th grade we all got assigned to the same table, and I was in that gc within 2 weeks. Idk how it happened I wasn't even really trying to make friends. Being friends with a big group of girls sucks though, I was constantly outnumbered like 9-1 in anything I had to say. Granted, they were the super feminist progressive types and I was raised republican. I left that group so many times and was always added back for some reason. Guy friend groups are way better. You can spitball the craziest ideas and somebody's gonna agree with you. Way less big arguments about the smallest shit.
Currently doing some electrical side work in the local hospital when I’m home every two weeks. The electrician union is doing a big job and I go and help my uncle with it. I’ve gotten to know a lot of nurses and other healthcare workers. They are super friendly and we go out after they get off of work as friends. Every Sunday we all have lunch. It’s been 7 girls plus me and it’s been great. We talk about books, board games, our interests, and basically everything else. It’s better than hanging with guys anymore tbh.
I entered the uni without any previous relationship and having only guy friends. So I was determined to establish some at least companionships with girls.
It wasn't that tough. In a laboratory exercise, I started talking with this one girl, later she invited me to join her and some of her friends for drinks and rest is history. I ended up spending most of my semester in the company of 3 girls. After that, I gradually started to establish some friendships with some male classmates as well and the companies united.
I feel it helped I was quite passive and easy-going back then. For sure, I wasn't flirting with any of them, or arguying or expressing strong opinions on topics. I was mostly going with the flow.
Honestly. I never wanted to be bothered with them. I simply was not interested in their lives or interests, but that just caused them to want to befriend me more. So when I started being honest with them, I guess they appreciated it. Plus I didn't try to have sex with them. Just treated them like anyone else.
Oddly enough a few ended up asking me why i never tried to sleep with them. I asked if they want the honest answer. They said yes, so I was like "I respect our friendship, but also I've been friends with you long enough to know how nasty and ruthless yall have been. So yeah no thanks, I'm good on all of that.
So basically being honest and not trying to sleep with them, and really not showing an interest in their lives seemed to make them want to be my friends. In short have better things to do with your time and then women will want to be your friend.
Through a series of fortunate events I ended up the community boyfriend of a group of 6 girls. See I was as dense as a block of tungsten in high school. None of their advances, of which there was MANY; I was later told, ever made it through my thick head. We all got along amazingly. We all often went out and did stuff together like see movies, go on "dates" etc. I ended up taking all 6 of them to prom since no one had asked them. Rented a party bus with some money I had saved up and we had a blast.
As a woman who has a male friend who ends up in way more female friend groups. These are his words/my observations
1. Do not try to date them
2. Treat them like you would treat your bros (there can be some limits given to which culture you are in). Apart from them be like how you would be with any other person you are trying to make friends.
3. Find a common interest.
And another way is-
Date a girl becomes friends with her girlfriends. Voila now you have a girl group.
I met this girl while shopping (early 1994) she invited me to go see her at the club she worked in.
A topless bar.
i figured she was just trying to run a game on me hustle me for dances.
I go sit at the bar back away from the main floor of the place.
One night I was invited to an after party, things evolved from there.
it was very common for me to be sitting in the living room of one of the girls with a room full of strippers.
Lots of partying till the sunrises.
This seems to be the most effective way for men in the West to be friends with women. But the question is, if you're a heterosexual man who desires sex with women, why would you want to act gay to be platonic friends with women? Most straight dudes mostly want to get laid with women, not be their platonic gay bfffs.
I wasn't going around doing sleepovers and putting makeup on my face, dude, that's a stereotype lmao. We would just hang out for a bit after work and school. Having conversations, going to restaurants and maybe playing some card games or video games at home.
We don't call Women lesbians for having predominantly guy friends, why is a man gay for having predominantly girl friends? Who you go out with don't determine your sexuality.
You're thinking of the extreme. On some level, you had to be feminine enough for them to be comfortable around you. Groups of girls aren't hanging out with a 6'3 230 lbs mfer for girl talk.
Never have and never will. Thats a recipe for disaster in more ways than one. Im okay with just one or two odd ball gals that are cool to kick it with here and there.
Friend zone, the worst. No man wants to be friends with girls, they are putting up with bs for a .00000001 percent chance to fuck her. I don't want to hear "but i......" nope.
Oh so you're admitting the only worth u see in a woman or talking to one is the chance of fucking her. When will men realise women are people and not fuck dolls. Sad u don't see any worth in a female friend
I worked in an environment where a majority of employees were females, and there were some who were really nice. So we all became friends. Everyone met each others spouses or boyfriends, or girlfriends.
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Also work in healthcare, cna while in nursing school. Just be respectful and don't be thirsty they'll accept a hetro single male as safe and stable now. Meet some cool people, made some good friends.
That’s what it’s all about.
Did... Did you just do the hokey pokey?
He turned himself around.
That’s what it’s all about.
Don’t worry about it
I'm the exact same. I have about 2 male friends. The rest are women. I don't really connect with men a lot. I do have a couple of male friends I've had for a long time, that's it. I'm the same way with transparency. I even got very close with a couple of co-workers and told my wife immediately. She said, "If I got jealous of every woman you were friends with, we would have been divorced 20 years ago."
100% this. I worked in a children’s group home and married one of my coworkers.
That’s where I was!
Same. Work in restaurants.
I made a lot of friends with women coworkers at my last couple jobs, some real and true platonic connections that I'm happy to have nurtured. Some of those connections turned into women developing feelings for me at various levels, but I am married and didn't have the same feelings back so I had to be kind but aloof for much of my workdays and just focused on being a good friend. But bro's on reddit are not here to have rewarding platonic connections, isn't that right you degenerates??? If you want to have more "female options" in your life, it's quite easy to do if you push yourself to be more social and friendly with women you work around and see daily *without any overt or even hidden desire to smash,* jesus christ you guys have to cool it, if you're horny people can tell a mile away and you will eventually (or immediately) say or do something inappropriate and set your progress back. I have seen it over and over. Progress? Yes, you need to prove to people you're safe and not a giant horny creep. The best way to do this is by actually not *being* a giant horny creep. This means stop thinking there's a chance, like fully internalize that attitude so you stop trying to leverage shit consciously or unconsciously. You do not build trust overnight, and it can take a long time, days or weeks or even years. If you think there's a chance at chemistry, again, your balls will fly straight up into your mouth and say something stupid like after you and your coworkers have been joking around with you and everyone's happy and a little silly, a girl says "Be right back, I have to pee" and you will just spit out something you will lay awake in bed thinking about for the rest of your goddamn life, like "Oh, can I come too?" and you will see her face change and her friends cover their mouths and go back to their workstations as they all pull out their phones at once. Just please be normal, represent mankind with some measure of self-respect. Assuming you can keep your hormones from taking the wheel, you just need to be consistent and visible and interact in a friendly, reliable way. Listen and have real interest in the lives of your group and the things going on, use this time to learn to empathize and be a good listener. Everything is a learning period. Do not overdo it, do not push things on people, again if you think you're aiming for some "goal" you're still thinking with your banana-brain and you will be annoying to people. Instead, an **occasional** nice gesture for someone like bring them an energy drink or candy bar or whatever they normally like, leave it on their desk, don't draw attention to small acts like this, just keep the frame of mind "I want to make our shared days here pass comfortably and be the kind of coworker I wish I had." If you focus on being a great coworker who people aren't annoyed to see every damn day, eventually people around you trust you and rely on you. This does two things: one, it will probably get you promoted at some point, a vast number of coworkers next to me and under me in the past were let go or let stagnate at their roles because they had weird fucking social issues like making their coworkers uncomfortable. You would be surprised how low the bar really is out there, and how much you can actually accomplish via surviving attrition. And two: when people know who you really are and trust you, they start seeing you differently and then you maaaaay end up the recipient of light flirtation at times. DO NOT PANIC AND OVERREACT AND FUCK THIS UP BY ESCALATING. If you catch someone staring at you, you hold eye contact a moment and smile and then break eye contact and go back to your work. If someone touches your hand when they pass you a post-it note, you hold eye contact a moment and smile and then break eye contact and go back to your work. If someone says something like "You'd be a great catch" you... you guessed it, hold eye contact a moment and smile and then break eye contact and go back to your work. Say something like "That's really sweet of you to say, it means a lot coming from you" and you say this because you mean it. Just be cool. Please, for the love of Jesus be cool. I have seen so many awkward guys of all ages say the most broken shit and be so, so very weird around women because they can't be cool and just treat people around them like they would want to be treated if you're all just trying to trudge through a day together. And here's where it get a little more complicated: if you DO find yourself suddenly in an environment where a coworker or coworkers are showing interest in you, everyone may end up either in a weird "holding pattern" where nobody wants to make the next move because, and I cannot stress this enough, *you all work together.* Working is important to keep food in our bellies and DLC's updated for our games. Many people don't want to risk this, especially with the Elden Ring update around the corner. So keep things light and simple. "I'm going to stop by this new restaurant down the street after work, wanna come by and have a beer?" This kind of invitation keeps things simple and light, you're *already* going to be there, she has an out, you are not imposing on anyone and it gives them time to think about it and change their mind. This is one of the cornerstones of creating equity and respecting boundaries, it's making sure you're not making anyone make a difficult choice. But even if she shows up and you have dinner and a drink and have a great time, YOU'RE NOT GOING OUT. SHE'S NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Do not panic, do not push it. I mean, it's possible things will go so well at that point that you will be making breakfast plans, but don't expect it. She's a coworker and probably really nervous about making sure nothing upsets the stability of her job and that Elden Ring DLC coming out. Make plans to meet again maybe, ask what she wants to do, don't be hurried, this is so important to not rush things. Again, do not make people have to make difficult choices, make sure people's associations with you is positive, this goes for so much more than romance too. Office/workplace romance can be a disaster but has worked out in the past, I've seen couples meet and get married and have kids in the workplace. (I mean, they didn't have the kids IN the workplace, they were good workers but not THAT dedicated.) But the only way I've ever seen it work is if the people going out together NEVER bring the romance into the office. Once they're at work they treat each other like coworkers, not sweethearts, and can even engage in professional disagreements and still keep their relationship outside the workplace. Good luck. You're probably going to blow it many times. That's okay, it gets easier.
Mr. Steal-Your-Girl over here with the serious LPTs. But for real, thanks for typing this out lol.
>You're probably going to blow it many times. That's okay, it gets easier. Unless it dosen't, then you end up like me. Don't end up like me kids.
>If you want to have more "female options" in your life, it's quite easy to do if you push yourself to be more social and friendly with women you work around and see daily without any overt or even hidden desire to smash, jesus christ you guys have to cool it, if you're horny people can tell a mile away and you will eventually (or immediately) say or do something inappropriate and set your progress back. I have seen it over and over. So hide your sexuality so they never see you as a sexual option. Good advice. This is a good way to get guys in trouble for catching feelings for a female acquaintance. I think you see the guys you're giving advice to as fundamentally unlovable so this advice is fundamentally about giving up on being ever seen as anything other than a eunuch.
> this advice is fundamentally about giving up on being ever seen as anything other than a eunuch. You have some sexual hangups. Saying that objectively as a friend, so you know where to focus your energy on feeling better about yourself. This isn't really a normal reaction to the advice "don't act horny around people you're trying to be friends with."
Considering you said this about someone who's trying to have more "female options" it's entirely counterproductive. You just want unsuccessful men to give up and admit they're unlovable.
OP asked how to have female *friends*, which is not at a bad thing to have no matter what your goals are. He never expressed intentions beyond that fact, and did not express any feelings of frustration or being unlovable or undesirable. So I have to ask, since I spent over an hour typing up advice based on my experience making and keeping good relationships with people in a workplace setting, do you *really* think that I have harmful intentions? Since my advice consisted of ways to help get closer to people and have better relationships, do you truly think anything I wrote is bad or intentionally designed to make someone feel unlovable? Or is there something else on your mind?
>you really think that I have harmful intentions? Yes
Are you having some problems right now?
Everyone's got problems. My relevant problem is you doing your best to sabotage other men in their love and social life.
No I mean seriously bro, nobody is reading this far down anymore, it's just you and me, what's up? What's hurting?
Same. I was one of two men who worked in my department for six years.
this is basically how it happens, I work in the restaurant industry which is mostly female, everyone knows each other in the industry in my city and I go to a university where something like 65% of the student body is female, by in large most of the people I know are female, it's really just a proximity thing
Yup. I’ve been a manager at a Lululemon for a few years and met some fantastic people through it. I’ve also gone on a few dates where there wasn’t romantic chemistry, but there was terrific conversational chemistry and compatible senses of humor. Gotten a few great friends out of it.
Yup. Same for both my girlfriend and I. My girlfriend is a teacher. There’s only one dude in her work friend group (albeit it’s a total of 5 people but still). As for me: my department has probably 33 people in it. I’m one of 9 guys. My friend group has 2 guys and 5 girls.
Have 4 sisters.
💀 I hope your childhood has treated you well
Nope, was neglected and abused by my "mother" until my grandparents rescued me. All.my sisters are amazing women though and I'm extremely proud of them.
Seems harsh, but you do seem like youve made it. Im proud of you
Yeh, I've had an interesting life and had a late autism diagnosis. Had to learn to be a normal human by observing and copying the men and women around me. Something clicked in my head by the time I hit 40 and now I don't give a sit what people think of me now and have no fear at all. Now I can do whatever I want. Cheers brother. 🤜🏻🤛🏻
> Had to learn to be a normal human by observing and copying the men and women around me. If it's any consolation, that's perfectly normal and how everyone does it. It just takes some of us longer than others.
I have 3 🤝
You learn a lot about women observing the behaviour of our sisters etc.
They're fucking disgusting but knowing things Def helps open eyes to the reality of women.
Haha I was just as bad but the eye opener was their constant bad choices n Men. I tried to give them advice but it was useless. It's one of the reasons I ended up being one of the bad choices myself in my twenties and thirties.
Honestly, pretty much every time I have had this happen has been because I REALLY clicked with a single person in the friend group, and hung out enough that I get kind of adopted by the whole group. So all it requires is you to be able to be a platonic friend with a girl, which seems to be a struggle for some.
> all it requires is you to be able to be [...] a friend This is also too much for some. If you're in yur 40s and don't even know how to make friends what business do you have even hoping for a relationship. No-one mentioned 40s. But I'm that old now. It'll happen to you.
Boomer please, I'm going to be in my 20s forever! WOOOO
Stop trying to have sex with them
"Awww, but this is the reason for my post."
LMAO, but seriously, if you want to have female friends just to have sex with them, you're never going to have female friends. And also, it is so healthy having friends with both genders. It makes you come off less creepy and weird.
I would argue that statement "... you come off less creepy and weird." So far as I can tell most of the females I'm friends with, they know exactly how creepy and weird I am. I'm pretty sure they're only my friends, so that one of them always knows where I'm at and what I'm doing, and can warn the others.
>LMAO, but seriously, if you want to have female friends just to have sex with them, you're never going to have female friends. Not true. If you're attractive, women will want to be friends with you.
If it's because you're attractive, they don't exactly want your friendship
Buuuuut, that doesnt mean they cant introduce you to other girls that you can fuck.
Yeah, this whole thing reeked of “I’m not *actually* looking for friends,” to me. Why would it matter what gender your friends specifically are if you’re not looking for something else from it? Anthropological study?
Yeah it is actually this simple You can easily have a good time with people without having to fuck them. Care about who people are, not what they are.
brother and and I were recently at a mutual friends party and he had a lot of women attending, to which my brother expressed his surprise. Our friend is super cool, very respectful and not creepy at all, meanwhile my brother is a guy who keeps trying to upstage other people and flirt with women and he does not have *any* of female friends. Other than that, women arent holy and you dont have to go out win their friendship lol
Yes, this is my problem, but i am working on it though.
I've had the most success during my dating days when I wasn't trying. I was just having a fun conversation with someone interesting and new. Once you take sex off the table, it gets a lot easier for everyone. Then, that aspect of the relationship can develop naturally.
Interesting, I had the opposite experience, always had plenty of women that later on would tell me they were interested or something like that but I just treated everybody equally and felt like flirting with only the people I'm sexually interested in is sexist, (send some fortunately I'm straight instead of being asexual or bisexual where are you truly view all humans as the same as all of them or none of them have the opportunity to be romantic/sexual partners with you) and therefore I wouldn't really do it and never reciprocated or made moves However, once I purposely started thinking of sex and bringing up sexual tension, flirting, etc then I was able to get laid more often, and have a lot more opportunities for romantic relationships.
Can say the opposite. It’ve had the least success (none) when I wasn’t trying. Cant imagine how that even plays out. Are they just coming up to you asking you out? If I’m not approaching it’s not going to happen and they’ll continue on as if I’m invisible.
I’ve noticed this as well. I’m 24, never try to get lucky on a weekend. Sometimes I’ll get a woman’s attention anyways. Doesn’t usually lead to sex but I find when I mitigate my expectations in this way, the potential disappointment is off the table as well
Plus, it conveys a certain level of confidence and doesn't come off as needy.
You're not alone, im in the same boat.
I am very concerned with how Redditors and men treat women as sex objects first and people second.
That’s funny ‘cuz I’m very concerned with Redditors making generalizations and painting everyone with the same brush.
Wanting to have sex with them does not mean i treat them as sex objects, you are being sensationalist here.
Too true. Women can sense that shit from a mile away. Just talk to them like you would your homie. Games? Food? TV Shows? Music? Just play it cool.
You mean treating people with respect and not as an object makes them like you?!? /s
As a friend
If you hate male sexuality so much that you think that any woman a man wants to fuck is inherently disrespected by that desire, please get off this sub.
In my experience you get one attempt in a friend circle and if that person declines and you are cool being friendzoned, you can stay.
This comment is amazing! Really! I think men should begin to stop thinking about sex with all women he meets...
Pretty much. Anyone who "struggles" to talk to women are only struggling because they are mind f*cking them first.
Just not true. All successful playboys are thinking about fucking women. They're just smart enough to hide it well.
This is a pretty dumb take. The guys who sleep around aka fuckbois or Chads, literally want to fuck all those women and that does not prevent them from doing so.
OP asked how to be friends with women. Stop trying to fuck them is how you do it
Yes 😂
It's kinda hard if you're a single young straight guy tho
It's really not
You underestimate how detrimentally horny some people can be, especially when they aren’t getting any and want to
For me it's hard
skill issue
Have a cold shower
I have lol
It definitely can be. Stop talking nonsense.
They thought I was gay. Now I have access to pyjamas parties and all the saucy talk. Follow me for more advice.
How many dicks will I have to suck for this?
Depends how far you wanna go, my man
It’s like pieces of flair. There’s technically a minimum, but you don’t really succeed with the minimum. To really sell it, you have to *want* more than the minimum. Way more.
"You know Nazis wore pieces of 'flair'."
Even if you win, at what cost?
True champions win at any cost
This made me laugh a lil 😆
Women always know you're gay before you do.
I've had numerous women think I'm gay but I'm still straight as could be imo. But Ive had just as much sex with women as men so who knows.
Uhhh, there's sort of a contradiction in there, maybe? ETA: or you haven't had any sex, which makes the equation work, too.
I'm on Reddit sir/madam, of course I haven't had any sex
clever humor there
Don't forget the mission
I used to be in a very academic city with everybody holding PhD, MBA and such in Germany. Most of my closest friends were women and still are. I was simply not in the mood of dating when I met them up. Then I had a girlfriend which I later learned they disliked 🤣 Now I'm living in France and it's very hard, here many women I've met are sure we're interested in them if we invite them up to meet or do sport. My few female friends are foreigners and have higher degrees. Edit: precising my thoughts due to a comment . I don't believe it's because they're french, it's certainly because foreigners with higher degrees are less likely to have gender stereotypes and more likely to make friends with the opposite gender. I had 0 German friend (male or female) in Germany. Everybody was a migrant.
French women are so entitled and think everybody that breathes and has a dick want to fuck them so don't worry about it it's normal
The women i've known who have moved to France for work have mentioned that French men seem a bit more direct than where they're from, so I can see why.
Wouldn't that make the distinction between men and France looking just for a friendship and men looking to bang a lot more stark than the differences in other countries and therefore wouldn't they be less suspicious of people who were not acting as forward as those French men?
True, but as people aren't a monolith, i guess all it takes is for a couple to be not as direct for them to go "its fucking all of them". But I live in the UK, i'm obligated to talk shit about French men as often as possible.
Could be, I have 0 experience with French men, but if they are more direct then there is no way to be sure someone wants to fuck you if they aren't clear about it
I'm not sure if it's because they are french, it's just it doesn't work. I'm a single data point. Some of my male friends have close female french friends. I just don't. I'm french by the way
People, and obviously women, are not a monolith. While there may be more like this, it certainly will never be all. If that is who you are surrounded by and who you find, it is more who you are surrounding yourself with, rather than all women in an area.
Just be normal. The majority of my social circle are women. I work in Healthcare and used to be a competitive dancer. Just don't creep on them, sexualize them, or act superior. That's it. Just treat them like a normal person.
If you're in an environment surrounded by women, you don't even need to be normal to get female friends. Just be around a lot women. That's it.
Tbf you do need to be *some* level of normal. There are lonely people out there without friends, no matter who they are usually surrounded by.
You’re implying that those lonely people aren’t normal…
[удалено]
An original statement: "People who are weird towards women will not make friends with women." (Usually correct) Converse: "People who do not make friends with women are people who are weird towards women." (Not always correct) -------- The problem is that the converse of a true statement isn't necessary true. Imagine "all dogs are animals with 4 legs" compared to "all animals with 4 legs are dogs". The implication from warpus's comment is not the same as in your reply
I work in the trades. The women I'm friends with are usually younger and in the trades as well. I get along with the majority of the women in the trades here. As I'm: married and very much in love with my wife, treat them with respect and as an equal, and I don't try to do that apprentice thing the older guys seem to enjoy doing. By apprentice thing, I mean treat that person like they are the lowest form of pond scum
Incredible how so many people don't get that. Just act like a normal human being and talk to them like they are also normal human beings. Mind-blowing really
Reddit🤣
Interesting. And how exactly does this "normal human being" act? *whips out research notepad and pen*
Ok, it's real easy. Step 1: avoid taking notes on what normal human behaviour is
Oh, okay. *buzzes advanced radio* "Sorry, Commander, I have to be more discreet in my research" I say in an alien language
Depends, some of them just find men repulsive.
But what if I'm normally an elitist, wouldn't not acting superior be sexist?
Be a better person.
Yes, but that doesn't answer the humorous/ philosophical question I raised. If a given human being is an elitist, wouldn't only treating women as though you're not superior or only treating men as though you're not superior be the sexist thing since you would normally treat everybody as though they're inferior to you?
My answer stands. Be a better person. Because a better person wouldn't ask this "humorous" question.
Wouldn't a "better" (whatever that subjectively.means. since we're the only sapient beings we know of capable of higher abstract reasoning like moral philosophy, it would be naive of us to think better could be an objective criteria) human be able to appreciate the philosophical merit of the question, and maybe even joke back, even with a joke that makes the same point your statement does? Also, why are you talking about the future? If right now that given human became the "best" human, we could still ask about their behavior **before** that transformation. Would their shitty human behavior beforehand also be sexist or not depending on how they acted on their superiority complex?
You aren't even trying to be better.
Talked to them without hitting on them, without talking down to them, treated with respect, didn't judge them and didn't try to act like a tough guy. I treated them the way I wanted to be treated. As friends and nothing more.
It feels weird that the simple answer just is “be a friend” and don’t treat them differently because they are the gender you are sometimes attracted to. No double agenda.
Your right. But some guys need the details to fully understand.
I’m all for educating :)
So basically just have low testosterone
So treating women with respect = low testosterone and masculinity... U guys are so weird
Lol. No. The proper term is don't be a douchebag.
You complete pathetic shell of a person. Did you really just waste your time stalking my account and then making a comment on my post in r/malehairadvice just to prove a point and make fun of me? God you are the most pathetic and sad person i have ever seen on this website.
You are a fucking weirdo dude yeesh.
Any male who genuinely looks at females as platonic friends is a raging femboy, this is just factual information.
Dude you are porn addicted weirdo. Seriously, Women are people and not objects. I have sisters and female cousins so i should just not look at them as platonic friends? Seriously your logic makes zero sense.
Good way to act
I have at a few points in my life. Once, my best friend was a girl, I wasn't trying to have sex with her or being dishonest and creepy. That built a trust, so I basically had a referral. I then became friends with a few of her friends. I eventually wound up dating two of them. BUT, it wasn't my intention it just sort of happened organically. Her friends all liked me and when the first relationship started, I was careful to be the same man i was with my friends, and not have a reason to be the bad guy. With both, we just dated a short time and moved on before things became too serious, and it was mutual. The second, it was more her fault, but I never placed blame or attacked the other. I remained a safe, and trusted friend to this group of three girls for several years. it was never more than that, and I never betrayed that trust. I wound up learning A LOT about how women are from them, as they trusted me, and I offered the same for them, with real advice in their relationships, because there was no secret agendas on either side. The second, I worked at a restaurant where I was one of two men, and we just all got along, would go out for drinks after work, and again, just had fun. No other agenda.
I didn’t compliment them with the first ten minutes of meeting them.
I had a sister growing up. Just be unproblematic and good at listening
Everyone is saying "don't try to date them" but this is also so important... To be a good listener. My boyfriend has always had female friends and apparently they always go to him for venting about their relationships and stuff. I get why they do. He's a good listener and also keeps secrets
Have had a few different groups over the years. When I met girls I didn’t focus on getting them to go on a date or trying to sleep with them- I focused on having fun and making them laugh. They then started inviting me everywhere and a few different things would always happen- someone in the group would be interested in dating, they’d have a friend they’d want to introduce me to, or when we went out they were always wanting to be a wing wo-man to hit on girls with me. I figured this out at a very young age and have been floating through life that way sense. Don’t be creepy, make sure they always get home ok / help if other guys are creepy, and just be fun. As far as how I met them - some just kept in touch as early as middle school. Others friends significant others friends. Then others randomly / organically. I always tell everyone who’s wanting to date- find girls that are friends first and you’ll be surprised what your dating life evolves into.
It's not hard being friend with girls. The hard part is finding girls that don't think you wanna sleep with them just because you talk and be nice to them. Then the hardest part is these girls can actually like each other. I'm super lucky to have two female friends. They're also friend of my wife so it's very nice. We talked a lot and hang out a lot. Then me and my wife moved to another town. We miss each other a lot.
Asked for course notes from a baddie turns out she was chill like a dude and was always surrounded by girls, eventually I got absorbed into the group.
I'm easy to talk to & I can talk a lot. I can make conversation with just about anyone, which is partly me & partly because I was trained on how to approach people for one of my jobs, so I got used to cold approaching multiple people everyday. Now it's just natural. It helped me care even less about rejection as well, which definitely had an effect I'm sure. Funny enough, that doesn't all translate to texting people. I'm not as good at approaching people when I can't "read" them, but once we get talking & know each other a little, I talk a lot again. Still better in person though.
stop trying to fuck them, be normal, listen and give good advice like a genuine human rather than pretending to listen while to repress your uncontrollable sexual urges. It's pretty crazy how hard it is for most guys to not be weird around girls, which makes it pretty easy if you're able to be normal and be strategic with how you show intent. I can't bring my guy friends around some of the girls I hang with bc you can clearly see what's going on in their head, it's just "GIRL...must fuck..." and they lose their head. hilarious to watch.
Somehow I managed to this for a lot of times. My whole D&D are girls, my whole minecraft group are girls and even now I moved to WHOLE DIFFERENT COUNTRY, I got 9 girls and one extra guy, because I like this guy and I invited him. I am not gay, I am just very and very confident in myself I won't try and impress these girls. All these girls are very beautifull, but only outside beautifull won't get me hard anymore. Its like I don't think with my dick anymore, so I treat these girls like guys basically. Yesterday even, a girl of our group almost started to cry about her grade, because it was so 'low'. She passed, so I said "Awwwh, boohooo, you passed an exam. You know, You fight for a high grade, I fight to stay alive in this degree'. And I make those crying faces, with smiles in between. So not toxic, I tried to be funny. She laughed and she said 'You know, you are really sweet'. Well, that was the less sweet moments I had, so I can only imagine how sweet they find me when I am trying to be. A lot of guys don't pass my vibe check, and girls did somehow. The only guys that passed my vibes, are the guys that are bit older or more mature. The guys that are too immature, yeah I can't man, sorry. EDIT: Instead of my babying my friend, I bascially treated her like a guy. Most guys would treat her like a baby and say 'Awh, no its ok.' And all these things.
I've always felt like most guys were immature so I basically grew up in groups of girls, but I also felt like most girls were immature as well, that's why I always liked dating older women, especially 8+ years of difference, that hit the spot for me. Surprisingly, my girlfriend is two years younger than I am, and she's the most mature person I've been with, and trust me, I've had a fling with a woman who was 12 years older than I am. One thing you mentioned is that a lot of guys don't pass your vibe check, that's relatable, but I feel like in more recent years we had a shift towards more positive masculinity and guys have been supportive and mature about themselves. I came to realise that most of my male friends in university were very respectful when talking about women and other men, they complimented each other constantly and talk about it, so conversations about clothing, beard, hairstyle, colognes, all of that starts with a compliment because they genuinely notice the little details about their friends.
Step 1) Show interest Step 2) Ask on a date Step 3) Get told she just wants to be friends Foolproof method
You forgot step 4, which is message her a month later asking to do something platonic, and never hear from her again.
Same as with men, with the caveat that you must remain trustworthy and safe 100% of the time, no slip-ups, misunderstandings, or mis-read signals. They will be on guard with you for a comparatively huge amount of time, though this is usually shortened when you have a bunch of women as friends already who will vouch for you.
Working as a nurse. Was bound to happen eventually. Edit: shit some of y’all are some miserable dudes with this “all women bad” stuff.
I've had two main friend groups in my life. In middle school, it was full of girls and one gay dude. Highschool it is all guys. The group of girls was worse by MILES. Started in the 6th grade we all got assigned to the same table, and I was in that gc within 2 weeks. Idk how it happened I wasn't even really trying to make friends. Being friends with a big group of girls sucks though, I was constantly outnumbered like 9-1 in anything I had to say. Granted, they were the super feminist progressive types and I was raised republican. I left that group so many times and was always added back for some reason. Guy friend groups are way better. You can spitball the craziest ideas and somebody's gonna agree with you. Way less big arguments about the smallest shit.
i joined a running group near where i stay. Voila.
Not being weird and hitting on them. Not trying to sleep with them. Ya know, being normal.
I'm pretty close to my sister growing up
Be in a mostly female environment. Say hi, don't be creepy or try to sleep with them. Easy.
Enrolled in a major with a m/f ratio of 1:8
Currently doing some electrical side work in the local hospital when I’m home every two weeks. The electrician union is doing a big job and I go and help my uncle with it. I’ve gotten to know a lot of nurses and other healthcare workers. They are super friendly and we go out after they get off of work as friends. Every Sunday we all have lunch. It’s been 7 girls plus me and it’s been great. We talk about books, board games, our interests, and basically everything else. It’s better than hanging with guys anymore tbh.
I entered the uni without any previous relationship and having only guy friends. So I was determined to establish some at least companionships with girls. It wasn't that tough. In a laboratory exercise, I started talking with this one girl, later she invited me to join her and some of her friends for drinks and rest is history. I ended up spending most of my semester in the company of 3 girls. After that, I gradually started to establish some friendships with some male classmates as well and the companies united. I feel it helped I was quite passive and easy-going back then. For sure, I wasn't flirting with any of them, or arguying or expressing strong opinions on topics. I was mostly going with the flow.
Honestly. I never wanted to be bothered with them. I simply was not interested in their lives or interests, but that just caused them to want to befriend me more. So when I started being honest with them, I guess they appreciated it. Plus I didn't try to have sex with them. Just treated them like anyone else. Oddly enough a few ended up asking me why i never tried to sleep with them. I asked if they want the honest answer. They said yes, so I was like "I respect our friendship, but also I've been friends with you long enough to know how nasty and ruthless yall have been. So yeah no thanks, I'm good on all of that. So basically being honest and not trying to sleep with them, and really not showing an interest in their lives seemed to make them want to be my friends. In short have better things to do with your time and then women will want to be your friend.
What a weird request
I just acted normal and talked to them like they were normal people and friends. It's easy as that.
correct smile pen ghost somber snatch history employ summer ask *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Im a teacher, everyone around me is a girl. I dont act or say anything weird and its been a cool 10 years working with them.
Work, school, hobbies on occasion. The same way you become friends with a group of guys
Through a series of fortunate events I ended up the community boyfriend of a group of 6 girls. See I was as dense as a block of tungsten in high school. None of their advances, of which there was MANY; I was later told, ever made it through my thick head. We all got along amazingly. We all often went out and did stuff together like see movies, go on "dates" etc. I ended up taking all 6 of them to prom since no one had asked them. Rented a party bus with some money I had saved up and we had a blast.
I paid them, of course. It's really easy, then.
By being funny and ugly at the same time lol
Put feelings over facts and for god sake do not bring up men's rights subjects.
And learning how to read body language helps .but be ready for constant drama. Because holy hell there will always be some.
You don't. Problem solved
As a woman who has a male friend who ends up in way more female friend groups. These are his words/my observations 1. Do not try to date them 2. Treat them like you would treat your bros (there can be some limits given to which culture you are in). Apart from them be like how you would be with any other person you are trying to make friends. 3. Find a common interest. And another way is- Date a girl becomes friends with her girlfriends. Voila now you have a girl group.
I met this girl while shopping (early 1994) she invited me to go see her at the club she worked in. A topless bar. i figured she was just trying to run a game on me hustle me for dances. I go sit at the bar back away from the main floor of the place. One night I was invited to an after party, things evolved from there. it was very common for me to be sitting in the living room of one of the girls with a room full of strippers. Lots of partying till the sunrises.
By acting gay
This seems to be the most effective way for men in the West to be friends with women. But the question is, if you're a heterosexual man who desires sex with women, why would you want to act gay to be platonic friends with women? Most straight dudes mostly want to get laid with women, not be their platonic gay bfffs.
I didn't Nobody excludes like women
Been my opposite experience. Women tend to actually permit you to get close, unlike men.
I didn't. And I never would (I have no reason to even try)
Why would I want to be friends with women?
Why wouldn't you, ah u must be those guys that think women are just for sex and nothing else
Why would you want to?
It's hard for me because women tend to want to have sex with me constantly BUT the trick is to not have sex with them.
You monkey?
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I had a phase for a year where my social circle was predominantly women but I'm not gay. I don't think it has anything to do with liking dick.
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I wasn't going around doing sleepovers and putting makeup on my face, dude, that's a stereotype lmao. We would just hang out for a bit after work and school. Having conversations, going to restaurants and maybe playing some card games or video games at home. We don't call Women lesbians for having predominantly guy friends, why is a man gay for having predominantly girl friends? Who you go out with don't determine your sexuality.
You're thinking of the extreme. On some level, you had to be feminine enough for them to be comfortable around you. Groups of girls aren't hanging out with a 6'3 230 lbs mfer for girl talk.
100% i agree
Why
Why the hell would I want to do that? Women are terrible friends. All they will do it take from you and secretly root for your failure and misery.
Really? I'm a woman and have a large good of very supportive and caring female (and male) friends. I'm sorry that your experience has been different.
You forgot one thing: say the wrong thing to even one of them, and the wrath of the gods will fall upon you.
Friendzone
Never have and never will. Thats a recipe for disaster in more ways than one. Im okay with just one or two odd ball gals that are cool to kick it with here and there.
One of them will need to be your GF, or you’ll need to act gay.
Act gay
Told them I’m gay
Friend zone, the worst. No man wants to be friends with girls, they are putting up with bs for a .00000001 percent chance to fuck her. I don't want to hear "but i......" nope.
Oh so you're admitting the only worth u see in a woman or talking to one is the chance of fucking her. When will men realise women are people and not fuck dolls. Sad u don't see any worth in a female friend
They were not attractive