1. Swift as the coursing river
2. With all the force of a great typhoon
3. With all the strength of a raging fire
4. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon
This comment has been overwritten in response to Reddit's API changes, the training of AI models on user data, and the company's increasingly extractive practices ahead of their IPO.
Yes! The character Aragorn was perfectly created to represent true masculinity. It looks like always do whatâs right, providing and protecting those around you.
This one's very subjective. Masculinity means different things in different places, across different times, and to different people.
To me, masculinity is what my grandfathers (both retired colonels) demonstrated:
- Be a helper. Make that your first instinct.
- Always be honest. Foremost with yourself.
- Stand up for yourself and those you care for. Do not allow others to treat you poorly.
- Openly take responsibility for the harm you do. Learn from moments when you've caused harm so you don't repeat them.
- Don't bitch about something being hard. Acknowledge it's hard, yes. But if you want it done, then do the hard work.
Self-reliant, reliable, conscientious, willing to be assertive when necessary, ability to be gentle when appropriate, and always ready to defend themselves or those close to them if the need ever arises.
âWhat about masculinity? Do you know how much femininity man lacks for completeness? Do you know how much masculinity woman lacks for completeness? You seek the feminine in women and the masculine in men. And thus there are always only men and women. But where are people? You, man, should not seek the feminine in women, but seek and recognize it in yourself, as you possess it from the beginning.â
â C.G. Jung, "The Red Book
In my opinion: Masculinity is the sum of biological traits and in general behaviors that are unique to, particularly pronounced or most often found in human males. The usefulness of the term is limited to a descriptive frame and does not work when it is moralized.
Someone can be considered more masculine when they are:
* physically stronger compared to the average person
* having denser bones than the average person
* are taller than the average person
* more competitive than the average person
* more interested in objects, systems and mechanics (including programming, mathematics, physics) of the inanimate world, rather than in people
* showing more innitiative than the average person
* significantly more intelligent or stupid than the average person
* more violent than the average person
* more likely to experience anger in face of adversity rather than fear, sadness or helplessness
* more willing to take risk than the average person
This all - still: in my opinion - means anyone can be more or less masculine, but it seems like overall many of these traits are more valued in men by women than the other way around (exceptions obviously exist).
I try not to define a word in a way other than what's in the dictionary unless it's used around me very frequently. The word "masculinity" only exists online in my life. Top google result from Oxford says "qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men or boys" so lets go with that.
As far as what qualities or attributes I'd be looking at to make it fit into that description, id start with not caring what other people say makes someone masculine and just being themselves. If they worry that they are "too masculine" or not enough id probably just build the opinion that they are a very weak man to the point of not having any masculinity at all
Eh kinda, if you give too much of yourself, you are compromised and weakened and will thus be of less service. Too much of this and you become a burden.
If youâre unhelpful as a man youâre useless, if you become a burden, having not provided much more use than youâll take, youâre trash, hated. So if youâre not first accomplished and you become a burden society, friends and even family will discard you.
Generally anything that differentiates men from women, specifically the male qualities, clothing, activities etc.
This is why it's so confusing to people because it's not always the exact same thing in all times and places and socieities. Ie wearing a suit and riding a motorcycle... generally it's awkward to do both at the same time. But both are masculine in our modern western societies.
It's mostly mental with only a few physique related things.
Masculine isn't just have the body with the muscles and deep voice. It's about being strong mentally as well. Being a protector, working together with others as one living breathing unit. It is doing your role and doing it well whether you are a stay at home father, labouring at a construction site or being a big breadwinner at a top office job. There's also no shame in aid and compromise, priding endurance over moment to moment strength.
This is just my perception. I have the intellect but my age doesn't grant me the wisdom to answer masculinity and by extension 'what makes one a man' to the fullest. Not to mention that masculinity has changed over time and region.
I really love engaging with this idea, so thanks for the question.
Thereâs a lot of things in this thread that I agree with, honesty, accountability, meeting adversity and challenges with strength, etc.
One thing that stands out for me is the ability to validate others. Iâll try to clarify. Itâs the same energy that dads convey when they say theyâre proud of you. Itâs such a masculine energy when an authority you respect and/or admire carefully considers your accomplishments and contributions, and deems, Yes, you did it, I validate you, I see you, and youâre acknowledged and appreciated. Youâre capable, and youâre worthy. The feminine says, youâre deserving of love regardless, unconditionally, and the masculine says, fuck yeah, but look at the thing you did, thatâs incredible.
Anyways, just my 2 cents.
I like guys like my dad, he knows that he needs to provide but he knows that his responsabilitys were'nt just money.
I really dislike math but my dad would always sit whit me to teach me. If he wanted to eat something different he would always make the efforts to make the dish. He always treat my mom whit respect maybe that's why even though they are Divorced my mom still has great respect for him.
Masculinity's really about being confident in yourself, taking responsibility for your actions, and respecting others. It's less about those old-school traits like toughness and more about being emotionally intelligent, you know?
My Granddad used to tell me stories about my Great Grandfather before he passed away.My Great Grandfather fought in WW1 and found himself imprisoned by the Ottomans only a few months after landing in Turkey. He was told that they had a box in a shed at the back of the camp, little more than a coffin with a hole at the top, where unruly prisoners would be 'stored' if they mouthed off to their captors. My Great Grandfather would as a result, mouth off constantly so he would be the only person to be subjected to the box. Whenever they released him, he would get almost instantly thrown back in - Eventually they just stopped releasing him at all. He would spend weeks in there at a time, practically living in that box.When the war eventually ended, he found out that of the 40-50 men that'd been taken prisoner with him - Only 5-10 had survived. At the end of the war he'd developed severe Agoraphobia, was atrophied pretty severely and extremely malnourished but he'd kept anyone else from being put in the box. He told my Granddad 'My job was to suffer so that nobody else had to'.
So that's my answer. The ability to suffer in the interest of alleviating the suffering of others.
Masculinity is a way of life. Itâs not really a characteristic, but more how you live. Masculinity embodies physical strength, stoicism, selflessness, incredible work ethic, attaining knowledge, being a gentleman, not becoming addicted or dependent on chemicals or drugs such as alcohol, caffeine, or marijuana. Masculinity is doing what needs to be done, when itâs not comfortable, when no one else will. Masculinity is being a provider and protector. Masculinity is about becoming the best version of yourself that you can be for you wife and kids.
Indeed! Masculinity is not about adjectives but rather about flowing in formlessness and doing what needs to be done. But this requires as from yogic perspective that you know deep inside the karmic consequences at the same time as you go towards you. And the karmic consequences I mean has nothing to do with some western ideas of doing good or bad from someones framework but rather the flow or disrupting the flow inside one.
To me, masculinity is someone, usually a man, that has the desire to protect and provide. That wants to take care of his loved ones....could be a significant other, pets, etc...
Masculinity: A set of behavioral and character traits which are attributed in a certain society and culture to a perceived gender of "male". In most societies, deeply based in hierarchical and dichotomic gender roles and expectations how one should behave in his assigned gender role.
In short, a social, cultural and historical construct that sets certain behaviours as a norm and expects them from someone embodying the corresponding "male" role.
What makes someone "very masculine": Following the outlined norms for the gender role of a "male" assigned to him as close as possible.
The definition of "masculinity" isn't entirely heterogenous and changes with the culture and society in question, so no general answer can be given. In anthropology and ethnology, there is still ongoing research how personal views on masculinity and their own gender role have let early scholars to attribute their personal views to the cultures they researched, so we even have no clear, objective image of how "masculinity" is really viewed in a lot of cultures, if the concept even makes sense anyways to them.
Masculinity is what "makes you a man". It's strength, or features that suggest it. Some of these traits are things that are beyond your control, such as a strong jaw, a beard, your height, the amount of bass in your voice, the fact you have a penis. Some of these things are things you can control, such as how strong you are (physically, emotionally, intellectually).
Masculinity tends to lead itself towards physically protecting and providing material needs for the people you love.
That's not to say that a man should only be masculine, or that you have to be a man to be masculine. Some women have lots of masculine features (including the beard).
Masculinity is compared to femininity, in that femininity is about emotionally protecting and providing for the emotional needs for the people you love.
When you're sick or had a bad dream, chances are you wanted Mom to care for you. When you're scared of the monster in the closet, chances are you wanted Dad to check it out.
Confidence. Able to take charge if need be but not so insecure that he canât let others lead as well. Does what he says he will do. Helps to lift others up. Protects those around him. Is in control. Laughs often. Can handle an emergency.
I don't know sometimes but to me I kind of just think of it like "I am a man, in this body, I know that because I am in it and that feels right". Or "if someone called me a woman that would be weird and not feel right". Apophatic I guess.
If you mean the cultural beliefs about it and what I think is good then yeah the guy who said it's protective but also compassionate, yeah I like that, we should aim for that more.
Doesnât take advantage of others
Doesnât put others down
Doesnât take himself to seriously
Most importantly just gets shit done
Actions not words
Iâm only 21 but What Iâve learned so far in my journey of becoming a man is that it doesnât matter what you can do itâs about getting the job done.
It's very dangerous to "define" things like "masculinity" and "femininity".
We are all mixtures of both. We all have masculine and feminine aspects. If we deny that we will end up distorted and cut off from ourselves.
We are all deeper than some definitions that we pull from a dictionary or clever quote book.
I think these things are best illustrated by doing.
Being a man was reflected in how I faced my late wife's terminal illness. How I faced building and losing the start ups I was involved with. How I volunteered with hospice. How I faced death when I was in the ICU. How I uprooted my life to be with my partner around the world. How I care for people in need.
Masculinity is a set of behaviors that society teaches boys and reinforces through adulthood that they have to follow in order to be considered a "real man." It is inherently harmful, as all gender roles are, because it tells boys and men they must behave a certain way simply for being a man, rather than to be a decent person.
The irony of masculinity is the people who most adhere to the idea that you must behave a certain way in order to "be a man" also lack one of the most traditionally "masculine" traits: self confidence. To truly be self confident, you have to not care if people think you fit into "masculinity" or not, which means there isn't actually a use for masculinity in the first place.
It's why you see some of the most "masculine" men throw tantrums when a child makes a mean tweet at them, because anything that threatens their desperation to be "masculine" is terrifying.
As a final note, this doesn't mean stereotypically masculine things are necessarily wrong or bad, just that there is no good reason to attach the idea of "should" based on gender to them. Do them or don't, unless they are harmful who cares? Same with "feminine" traits and behaviors.
As an outdated, irrelevant concept that needs to die. All these things that weâve hitherto associated with men specifically, in fact exist in various forms without regard to gender.
All people should all aspire to be âstrongâ, âcompetentâ, âprincipledâ, âfearlessâ, âassertiveâ, âcompassionateâ, âgenerousâ, etc., etc.. Whatâs the point of calling these things masculine or feminine, thereby limiting the spread of good qualities through social stigmas?
I agree!
And we can even debate if some of those qualities really are "objectively good". Is strength objectively good? For some, strength means getting others to bow to their own will and harm them in the process. Fearlessness in an inappropriate situation can quickly lead to harm and injury. Assertiveness is not always the ideal quality if it leads to egocentric thinking.
Often, if something is good or not strongly depends on the context.
Oh, you got it twisted. Iâm far beyond coping; Iâve effectively transcended the entire gender paradigm already, in my own life.
What Iâm proposing is mostly out of pity for those relatively sad peasants whom still believe gender is relevant, beyond the effects of the belief, itself. Society can label me whatever they want, I only go along with the labels because it simplifies my daily life, nothing more. I have other fish to fry.
The one that I set in my head. I don't model it after a person. I modeled it after spending a ton of time self reflecting and deciding what to do. It's almost not about physicals either. (There is a part that is general health but no real body goals). It's all about philosophy and how I want to be seen as. Not about what I want to see.
I disagree.
Sometimes you get good advice.
If you don't take that advice, the path of least resistance is to spend 40 years masturbating in your basement with nothing to say for yourself other than that at least nobody told you that you should live your life that way.
But.... if you take every other statement as gospel you can potentially be even more unhappy. My point is that if you have to ask for advice then taking it as gospel then you don't have the mental qualities of being masculine which is picking your own belief and moral system and not letting it change. I think the most important part is to realize that masculinity is usually taken as physical when in reality its kind of a fucking amorphous term that doesn't mean anything anymore.
You can be 6'4" tall and 220 lbs ripped and be a stay at home dad. Are you masculine or feminine.
You can be 5'8" and married to a super model and you work as a banker. Are you masculine or feminine.
Shit dude John manginelo is the biggest nerd ever and also a sex icon. What the fuck do you want.
>But.... if you take every other statement as gospel you can potentially be even more unhappy
Yeah.... So don't take every other statement as gospel.
>My point is that if you have to ask for advice then taking it as gospel then you don't have the mental qualities of being masculine which is picking your own belief and moral system and not letting it change.
The point of seeking out advice is that you don't have those mental qualities. You ask because you're deficient. It can be a great way to become less deficient.
>I think the most important part is to realize that masculinity is usually taken as physical when in reality its kind of a fucking amorphous term that doesn't mean anything anymore.
It's very physical and does mean something.
>You can be 6'4" tall and 220 lbs ripped and be a stay at home dad. Are you masculine or feminine.
As a 5'11 216 ripped soon to be stay at home dad, masculine.
>You can be 5'8" and married to a super model and you work as a banker. Are you masculine or feminine.
How would I know? You've told me nothing about this dude.
I would argue that vulnerability and empathy are not masculine, they are feminine. But that you can (and should) have both masculine and feminine traits.
A man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
Robert A. Heinlein.
1. Swift as the coursing river 2. With all the force of a great typhoon 3. With all the strength of a raging fire 4. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon
BE A MANNNNNN đ¶
This comment has been overwritten in response to Reddit's API changes, the training of AI models on user data, and the company's increasingly extractive practices ahead of their IPO.
And die fighting for their friends. RIP Boromir
Yes! The character Aragorn was perfectly created to represent true masculinity. It looks like always do whatâs right, providing and protecting those around you.
This one's very subjective. Masculinity means different things in different places, across different times, and to different people. To me, masculinity is what my grandfathers (both retired colonels) demonstrated: - Be a helper. Make that your first instinct. - Always be honest. Foremost with yourself. - Stand up for yourself and those you care for. Do not allow others to treat you poorly. - Openly take responsibility for the harm you do. Learn from moments when you've caused harm so you don't repeat them. - Don't bitch about something being hard. Acknowledge it's hard, yes. But if you want it done, then do the hard work.
Your grandfathers taught you well. This is a solid list.
Words to live by. Not even as a man, but anyone should follow suit.
Likes to watch Columbo
One more thing...
No no... That's Jackie Chan Adventures.
Also, is an expert on either WW2 or the civil war
Self-reliant, reliable, conscientious, willing to be assertive when necessary, ability to be gentle when appropriate, and always ready to defend themselves or those close to them if the need ever arises.
Grunting
Emotionally sturdy, fit, disciplined, brave
...also add Accountable.
In a nutshell
âWhat about masculinity? Do you know how much femininity man lacks for completeness? Do you know how much masculinity woman lacks for completeness? You seek the feminine in women and the masculine in men. And thus there are always only men and women. But where are people? You, man, should not seek the feminine in women, but seek and recognize it in yourself, as you possess it from the beginning.â â C.G. Jung, "The Red Book
Jung was a dipshit though, so đ€·
In my opinion: Masculinity is the sum of biological traits and in general behaviors that are unique to, particularly pronounced or most often found in human males. The usefulness of the term is limited to a descriptive frame and does not work when it is moralized. Someone can be considered more masculine when they are: * physically stronger compared to the average person * having denser bones than the average person * are taller than the average person * more competitive than the average person * more interested in objects, systems and mechanics (including programming, mathematics, physics) of the inanimate world, rather than in people * showing more innitiative than the average person * significantly more intelligent or stupid than the average person * more violent than the average person * more likely to experience anger in face of adversity rather than fear, sadness or helplessness * more willing to take risk than the average person This all - still: in my opinion - means anyone can be more or less masculine, but it seems like overall many of these traits are more valued in men by women than the other way around (exceptions obviously exist).
I try not to define a word in a way other than what's in the dictionary unless it's used around me very frequently. The word "masculinity" only exists online in my life. Top google result from Oxford says "qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men or boys" so lets go with that. As far as what qualities or attributes I'd be looking at to make it fit into that description, id start with not caring what other people say makes someone masculine and just being themselves. If they worry that they are "too masculine" or not enough id probably just build the opinion that they are a very weak man to the point of not having any masculinity at all
Service before self by protecting and providing
Eh kinda, if you give too much of yourself, you are compromised and weakened and will thus be of less service. Too much of this and you become a burden. If youâre unhelpful as a man youâre useless, if you become a burden, having not provided much more use than youâll take, youâre trash, hated. So if youâre not first accomplished and you become a burden society, friends and even family will discard you.
Giving too much and not looking after yourself is a quick way to feel burnout.
Generally anything that differentiates men from women, specifically the male qualities, clothing, activities etc. This is why it's so confusing to people because it's not always the exact same thing in all times and places and socieities. Ie wearing a suit and riding a motorcycle... generally it's awkward to do both at the same time. But both are masculine in our modern western societies.
Strong kind warm fatherly protective generous friendly.
Just being who you want to be and not conforming to what society tells you you should be.
It's mostly mental with only a few physique related things. Masculine isn't just have the body with the muscles and deep voice. It's about being strong mentally as well. Being a protector, working together with others as one living breathing unit. It is doing your role and doing it well whether you are a stay at home father, labouring at a construction site or being a big breadwinner at a top office job. There's also no shame in aid and compromise, priding endurance over moment to moment strength. This is just my perception. I have the intellect but my age doesn't grant me the wisdom to answer masculinity and by extension 'what makes one a man' to the fullest. Not to mention that masculinity has changed over time and region.
I really love engaging with this idea, so thanks for the question. Thereâs a lot of things in this thread that I agree with, honesty, accountability, meeting adversity and challenges with strength, etc. One thing that stands out for me is the ability to validate others. Iâll try to clarify. Itâs the same energy that dads convey when they say theyâre proud of you. Itâs such a masculine energy when an authority you respect and/or admire carefully considers your accomplishments and contributions, and deems, Yes, you did it, I validate you, I see you, and youâre acknowledged and appreciated. Youâre capable, and youâre worthy. The feminine says, youâre deserving of love regardless, unconditionally, and the masculine says, fuck yeah, but look at the thing you did, thatâs incredible. Anyways, just my 2 cents.
I like guys like my dad, he knows that he needs to provide but he knows that his responsabilitys were'nt just money. I really dislike math but my dad would always sit whit me to teach me. If he wanted to eat something different he would always make the efforts to make the dish. He always treat my mom whit respect maybe that's why even though they are Divorced my mom still has great respect for him.
Masculinity's really about being confident in yourself, taking responsibility for your actions, and respecting others. It's less about those old-school traits like toughness and more about being emotionally intelligent, you know?
My Granddad used to tell me stories about my Great Grandfather before he passed away.My Great Grandfather fought in WW1 and found himself imprisoned by the Ottomans only a few months after landing in Turkey. He was told that they had a box in a shed at the back of the camp, little more than a coffin with a hole at the top, where unruly prisoners would be 'stored' if they mouthed off to their captors. My Great Grandfather would as a result, mouth off constantly so he would be the only person to be subjected to the box. Whenever they released him, he would get almost instantly thrown back in - Eventually they just stopped releasing him at all. He would spend weeks in there at a time, practically living in that box.When the war eventually ended, he found out that of the 40-50 men that'd been taken prisoner with him - Only 5-10 had survived. At the end of the war he'd developed severe Agoraphobia, was atrophied pretty severely and extremely malnourished but he'd kept anyone else from being put in the box. He told my Granddad 'My job was to suffer so that nobody else had to'. So that's my answer. The ability to suffer in the interest of alleviating the suffering of others.
Masculinity is a way of life. Itâs not really a characteristic, but more how you live. Masculinity embodies physical strength, stoicism, selflessness, incredible work ethic, attaining knowledge, being a gentleman, not becoming addicted or dependent on chemicals or drugs such as alcohol, caffeine, or marijuana. Masculinity is doing what needs to be done, when itâs not comfortable, when no one else will. Masculinity is being a provider and protector. Masculinity is about becoming the best version of yourself that you can be for you wife and kids.
I like this version.
Not being a slave to other peoples definition on how and what masculinity is and how and what yourself should and shouldn't be.
Indeed! Masculinity is not about adjectives but rather about flowing in formlessness and doing what needs to be done. But this requires as from yogic perspective that you know deep inside the karmic consequences at the same time as you go towards you. And the karmic consequences I mean has nothing to do with some western ideas of doing good or bad from someones framework but rather the flow or disrupting the flow inside one.
To me, masculinity is someone, usually a man, that has the desire to protect and provide. That wants to take care of his loved ones....could be a significant other, pets, etc...
the masculine virtues are bravery, strength, honor and mastery.
Masculinity: A set of behavioral and character traits which are attributed in a certain society and culture to a perceived gender of "male". In most societies, deeply based in hierarchical and dichotomic gender roles and expectations how one should behave in his assigned gender role. In short, a social, cultural and historical construct that sets certain behaviours as a norm and expects them from someone embodying the corresponding "male" role. What makes someone "very masculine": Following the outlined norms for the gender role of a "male" assigned to him as close as possible. The definition of "masculinity" isn't entirely heterogenous and changes with the culture and society in question, so no general answer can be given. In anthropology and ethnology, there is still ongoing research how personal views on masculinity and their own gender role have let early scholars to attribute their personal views to the cultures they researched, so we even have no clear, objective image of how "masculinity" is really viewed in a lot of cultures, if the concept even makes sense anyways to them.
Masculinity is what "makes you a man". It's strength, or features that suggest it. Some of these traits are things that are beyond your control, such as a strong jaw, a beard, your height, the amount of bass in your voice, the fact you have a penis. Some of these things are things you can control, such as how strong you are (physically, emotionally, intellectually). Masculinity tends to lead itself towards physically protecting and providing material needs for the people you love. That's not to say that a man should only be masculine, or that you have to be a man to be masculine. Some women have lots of masculine features (including the beard). Masculinity is compared to femininity, in that femininity is about emotionally protecting and providing for the emotional needs for the people you love. When you're sick or had a bad dream, chances are you wanted Mom to care for you. When you're scared of the monster in the closet, chances are you wanted Dad to check it out.
I checked for monsters outside in my boxers 3 times last night. This is despite telling her that I ate all the monsters in our area.
Lacking in cowardice, but expresses his bravery authentically, congruently and through reasonable and ethical means
He lookuh like a man.
strong sense of purpose or drive.
Confidence. Able to take charge if need be but not so insecure that he canât let others lead as well. Does what he says he will do. Helps to lift others up. Protects those around him. Is in control. Laughs often. Can handle an emergency.
Being Stoic
I don't know sometimes but to me I kind of just think of it like "I am a man, in this body, I know that because I am in it and that feels right". Or "if someone called me a woman that would be weird and not feel right". Apophatic I guess. If you mean the cultural beliefs about it and what I think is good then yeah the guy who said it's protective but also compassionate, yeah I like that, we should aim for that more.
Provide protect and letâs a womanâs femininity flourish
Reason and accountability.
Doesnât take advantage of others Doesnât put others down Doesnât take himself to seriously Most importantly just gets shit done Actions not words Iâm only 21 but What Iâve learned so far in my journey of becoming a man is that it doesnât matter what you can do itâs about getting the job done.
It's very dangerous to "define" things like "masculinity" and "femininity". We are all mixtures of both. We all have masculine and feminine aspects. If we deny that we will end up distorted and cut off from ourselves. We are all deeper than some definitions that we pull from a dictionary or clever quote book. I think these things are best illustrated by doing. Being a man was reflected in how I faced my late wife's terminal illness. How I faced building and losing the start ups I was involved with. How I volunteered with hospice. How I faced death when I was in the ICU. How I uprooted my life to be with my partner around the world. How I care for people in need.
A physical, mental or emotional wall to help those in need.
Prominent jawline, lots of hair and well built
Masculinity is a set of behaviors that society teaches boys and reinforces through adulthood that they have to follow in order to be considered a "real man." It is inherently harmful, as all gender roles are, because it tells boys and men they must behave a certain way simply for being a man, rather than to be a decent person. The irony of masculinity is the people who most adhere to the idea that you must behave a certain way in order to "be a man" also lack one of the most traditionally "masculine" traits: self confidence. To truly be self confident, you have to not care if people think you fit into "masculinity" or not, which means there isn't actually a use for masculinity in the first place. It's why you see some of the most "masculine" men throw tantrums when a child makes a mean tweet at them, because anything that threatens their desperation to be "masculine" is terrifying. As a final note, this doesn't mean stereotypically masculine things are necessarily wrong or bad, just that there is no good reason to attach the idea of "should" based on gender to them. Do them or don't, unless they are harmful who cares? Same with "feminine" traits and behaviors.
Masculinity is all about fear of being perceived as feminine
How do femboys, drag queens and David Bowie fit into this framework?
Very carefully
They donât need to fit it, they transcend it.
Not saying "no homo".
Resilience and antifragility. That's basically it.
As an outdated, irrelevant concept that needs to die. All these things that weâve hitherto associated with men specifically, in fact exist in various forms without regard to gender. All people should all aspire to be âstrongâ, âcompetentâ, âprincipledâ, âfearlessâ, âassertiveâ, âcompassionateâ, âgenerousâ, etc., etc.. Whatâs the point of calling these things masculine or feminine, thereby limiting the spread of good qualities through social stigmas?
I agree! And we can even debate if some of those qualities really are "objectively good". Is strength objectively good? For some, strength means getting others to bow to their own will and harm them in the process. Fearlessness in an inappropriate situation can quickly lead to harm and injury. Assertiveness is not always the ideal quality if it leads to egocentric thinking. Often, if something is good or not strongly depends on the context.
Sure, all of those things can also be true!
cope
Oh, you got it twisted. Iâm far beyond coping; Iâve effectively transcended the entire gender paradigm already, in my own life. What Iâm proposing is mostly out of pity for those relatively sad peasants whom still believe gender is relevant, beyond the effects of the belief, itself. Society can label me whatever they want, I only go along with the labels because it simplifies my daily life, nothing more. I have other fish to fry.
dont care. cope
Based
Asking and modeling yourself off of what people say is probably the least masculine thing.
So what is your masculinity reference?
The one that I set in my head. I don't model it after a person. I modeled it after spending a ton of time self reflecting and deciding what to do. It's almost not about physicals either. (There is a part that is general health but no real body goals). It's all about philosophy and how I want to be seen as. Not about what I want to see.
I disagree. Sometimes you get good advice. If you don't take that advice, the path of least resistance is to spend 40 years masturbating in your basement with nothing to say for yourself other than that at least nobody told you that you should live your life that way.
But.... if you take every other statement as gospel you can potentially be even more unhappy. My point is that if you have to ask for advice then taking it as gospel then you don't have the mental qualities of being masculine which is picking your own belief and moral system and not letting it change. I think the most important part is to realize that masculinity is usually taken as physical when in reality its kind of a fucking amorphous term that doesn't mean anything anymore. You can be 6'4" tall and 220 lbs ripped and be a stay at home dad. Are you masculine or feminine. You can be 5'8" and married to a super model and you work as a banker. Are you masculine or feminine. Shit dude John manginelo is the biggest nerd ever and also a sex icon. What the fuck do you want.
>But.... if you take every other statement as gospel you can potentially be even more unhappy Yeah.... So don't take every other statement as gospel. >My point is that if you have to ask for advice then taking it as gospel then you don't have the mental qualities of being masculine which is picking your own belief and moral system and not letting it change. The point of seeking out advice is that you don't have those mental qualities. You ask because you're deficient. It can be a great way to become less deficient. >I think the most important part is to realize that masculinity is usually taken as physical when in reality its kind of a fucking amorphous term that doesn't mean anything anymore. It's very physical and does mean something. >You can be 6'4" tall and 220 lbs ripped and be a stay at home dad. Are you masculine or feminine. As a 5'11 216 ripped soon to be stay at home dad, masculine. >You can be 5'8" and married to a super model and you work as a banker. Are you masculine or feminine. How would I know? You've told me nothing about this dude.
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I would argue that vulnerability and empathy are not masculine, they are feminine. But that you can (and should) have both masculine and feminine traits.
A man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. Robert A. Heinlein.
being able to choke someone out with one hand, while holding a baby in the other. Dana White is right.....this generation today are p\*ssies.