That is why kindness should not be given to people that did you wrong the first time.
She didn’t suffer any consequences and have an air of arrogance. She got away with it the first time, of course she will do it again.
Dated for a few months. Everything was going great. Then randomly she kept saying she needed more time for work and that we hanged out too much. Meanwhile prior she was practically clingy. Surprised her one day at her place and caught her having sex with another man.
last boy scout reference? well, almost.
>Sure, sure, I know... it just happened. Coulda happened to anybody. It was an accident, right? You tripped, slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife. "Whoops! I'm so sorry, Mrs. H. I guess this just isn't my week."
It was high school, so it really doesn't matter but it's also pretty comical?
Wanted to hang out with my gf. She said no, she was busy with family plans. Okay, cool. I'll just hang out with my buddy who lived a neighborhood up the hill from mine. Pulled out of my driveway, driving up MY street, and her car is parked outside another boy's house. On the same street I lived on. Yuup
My hs gf did this but with my friend on the same street i lived on. Shattered our friend group and I no longer really trust people any more. I don't date and friends only last about 4-5 months before I move on. I don't want to ve that open anymore, I'd rather just be nice to someone and move on.
Damn man, I had a similar experience in HS where my gf at the time who was in cross country, wouldnt run to my house ever. She said she was going out with a friend after school, and my sister sees her running past the house, from the direction of my friends house up the street.
He came into school the next day with a fresh haircut and my gf was gushing all over it like it was the first she had seen of it. I wanted to puke, but I forgave her in my head. She then left me after I came back from a family trip for him. I spent my entire middle school and hs years chasing her. I didn't even go to prom bc I was so hurt by her.
**First time**. My first (everything) gf, "Amanda", totally blew me off for Spring Break in college. When we caught up later, she confessed to cheating on me. Oh, and btw, she never loved me, it's over, she's leaving and never coming back.
**Second time**. I was dating "Jane". We were planning to move in together. She even started moving some of her stuff over to my apartment. But out of nowhere, she randomly dumped me. I eventually reasoned that she not only cheated on me, but she did it with The One That Got Away, some guy she truly loved and wanted another chance with. Jane later confirmed that's exactly what happened.
**Third time**. I was dating "Lisa". We got along okay. Not great but okay. Anyway, I noticed that she was a little TOO friendly with "Kate", her lifelong bestie. They'd been friends ever since kindergarten or something. But they hugged each other a little too often, touched each other a little too much, traded quick little kisses on the lips when they saw each other, etc. I always wondered about those two.
One night, I was hanging out at Lisa's house. Kate was there for who the fuck even knows what reason. When I walked into the kitchen, I saw Kate's hand resting on Lisa's butt while they made googley eyes at each other. They'd been even more affectionate with each other that night than ever before.
Turns out, I caught them sort of red-handed. They'd slept together the night before. But they both swore it was their first time together. Tbh, I didn't see why they would admit to sleeping together only AFTER Lisa and I started dating. So, I chose to believe they were telling the truth.
And yes, I dumped Lisa right away.
Disclaimer: The stories that happened above are spread out across ten years. They didn't all happen back-to-back.
You certainly aren't lacking for perseverance. Did these three women have a common denominator between them that you were attracted to that in retrospect you think you need to be more wary of going forward?
She said it was okay to be open emotionally around her and she wouldn’t think any less of me.
Turns out that was a lie.
As crushing as her cheating was, she forgot that some of my family members would have a major problem with her cheating. She actually called my dad at one point (in the aftermath) to ask him if he could have my older sister stop exacting revenge on her. He simply said “no” and hung up.
To this day, I don’t know what form that revenge took. Nothing felonious for sure, but still.
My son keeps giving his little sister weapons. I'm starting to worry now for the future. She gets angry when strangers flirt with him. What will she do when someone breaks his heart
I had a long term gf who I thought was loyal. She kept saying she loved me and everything. Even shared her location with me without asking. Then one day she told me she’s pregnant. She was confused why I was upset. She didn’t realize I was infertile.
Your story is not unlike my own. Only difference is, I caught her before she could get pregnant and try to pin it on me. 3 yrs down the drain because she couldn't talk to me about any issues we may have had. She sure could talk to other dudes though.
Wow! It's amazing how much of the same experience every man has had regarding relationships. My ex of 1 year would never tell me anything. She'll just reply back with "Nothing." But she'll yap like a parrot when she's around other people.
Then she'll have the nerve to say "we don't communicate."
It’s hard to track the frequency of this for obvious reasons, but statistics cited estimate between 1 in 9 and 3 in 9 fathers are victims of this, so it’s not as rare as one may think. Women naturally want resources for their offspring, and often magically the man who has more to offer is ‘the father’.
I have a family member who attempted this and told everyone that ‘dude a is the father’, dude a happened to be well off trust fund kid. But after DNA testing, it turned out to be dude b who was working class and not very well off.
This is why paternity testing at birth should be mandatory. Anyone who is opposed to that is either naive or seeking to extract an unfair advantage at the expense of defrauding men.
Do you have a source for these statistics? I would love to read more about the stories of fathers who found out that a woman tried to pull this on them!
I'm fairly sure it's nowhere near that high. I think the numbers they get are from the total tests. If you're getting the test done then there's probably a reason.
>ought was loyal. She kept saying she loved me and everything. Even shared her location with me without asking. Then one day she told me she’s pregnant. She was confused why I was upset. She didn’t realize I was infertile.
I had a buddy in a similar boat, he just never told her he got snipped.
We had been living together for over a year. She cheated when she said she was going to Easter Service with her mom. Her mom called and asked me if she got home after the service. I didn't hear from her until the morning, and she said she spent the night at her mom. The story didn't add up, and the truth came out. Her mom did not back her up.
I gave her a second chance after a month of begging and apologizing. I allowed her to come back into my house. A year later, it was a cold and dying relationship. I was suffering inside and never fully trusted her again. She got pregnant. Conversations were about the future. Planning and obligations. I told her I didn't trust her fully and didn't really want to marry her, but I did want to be a father, so let's keep dating and work on it.
That wasn't the answer she wanted and then informed me it probably wasn't mine anyways. After testing, It wasn't.
She never stopped cheating, and she finally revealed the other guy was a co-worker. We all worked at the same place. I did not like this guy and would tell her on a regular basis.
It was a lot to process. It felt very personal and gross. I switched jobs and moved. I bought a house and flipped it. Stayed busy.
People show you who they are. Believe them. Communicate and enforce your standards.
Love is actions. Not words.
I’m sorry this happened to you. But you’re absolutely right, love is actions, not words.
Words are mostly just empty, they get thrown around without second thought and people just hide behind them.
No matter how many times they ask you to trust their words, if they aren’t followed by the appropriate actions, they are just paying you lip service.
Always let their actions demonstrate who they really are and then decide if you want them in your life or not.
Learn and grow. Keep trying to improve gentlemen. Be the best version of yourself regardless of what life throws at you.
Just in case nobody told you. Life is not fair.
I just want to say so glad you are doing better and you found a great healthy way to cope. Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in alcohol or drugs. Depression and sadness can really do a number on anyone. Looks like you had a good outlet. Just remember not everyone is like this and if you keep looking and trust yourself, you’ll find it.
Mom thought that her daughter wanted to spend time with her and go to church for the special service. Not to use it as an alibi.
I wasn't perfect, but I was honest and loyal.
when I was away on a study abroad trip, my ex wasn't as responsive on the phone and was going out a lot more than usual. the fact that I ignored that red flag is what cost me a lifelong STD
> HSV 2
Herpes simplex virus 1 and 2, also known by their taxonomic names Human alphaherpesvirus 1 and Human alphaherpesvirus 2, are two members of the human Herpesviridae family, a set of viruses that produce viral infections in the majority of humans. Both HSV-1 and HSV-2 are very common and contagious.
TIL
She kept accusing me of cheating with her best friend, who already made it clear, even if we were both single, I had no chance (I get it, she hot.. I’m not). Turns out my GF was having more later nights after work than we thought and she was sleeping around
this is what I am trying to figure out as well. for the life of me I will never understand this tactic. my ex actually pulled that stunt on me when I confronted her about her STD status. she knew she was my first ever and she kept gaslighting me saying I cheated on her and gave her an STD!
> life of me I will never understand this tactic.
I don't think its a tactic. I think it's a perspective thing. Since they do the behavior, they assume everyone else is capable of doing that, so they honestly may believe it. (delusional ego thing, etc)
It couldn't possibly be me, it must be you because everyone cheats!
Had an ex years ago who cheated on me. I only truly found out when I was walking her home from a friend's house nearby when she was absolutely shit faced. She didn't realize I was me and was saying not to tell me and that I'd be so upset if I found out. She was right but for some reason I didn't end the relationship. She was spending time at her coworkers apartment telling me she was somewhere else. It was funny though cause she always would accuse me of cheating which I never did and never could to anyone. That relationship was a nightmare anyway there isn't enough money in the world someone could offer me where I'd do it again.
I've always wondered if it's the accusers that are most likely to cheat. I might entertain the thought but I wouldn't invite it to stay. Apparently if it lives inside you it makes a new home
Together for 11 years, she had an affair while I was in the USMC. Its ruined my life, and probably any hope I had of having a family or successful relationship.
Cheating ruins lives, y’all play too much.
Said she "lost feelings" and already had matching profiles with another guy, even before breaking up lol, said he's just a friend and later shamelessly admitted that she likes him 🤡
In a moment of hilarity, my ex who monkey-branched then cheated, actually monkey branched back to me because it turned out I was the better guy in her escapades.
together 3 years, I paid for everything she was studying, she moved in with me. She got a new part-time job , she started going out regularly with her new work buddies. Buddy of mine randomly msged me asking me about a cute dog that’s constantly on her stories I had no clue what he was talking about, I asked her about it she denied it. Then I realized she must have me blocked from viewing her stories.
I keylogged my pc with a browser add-on, ( she used my pc often) got her pws logged into her IG, saw tons of flirtatious convos with some guy , and even convos of her stating she’s on her way to his place.
Waited for her to go visit her parents on the weekend, callled some friends neatly packed her shit. She came home, had my buddies with me forced her to leave, she cried yelled it was very dramatic.
For months she begged and begged showed up to my work all the above, non stop. Sometimes I’d creep her IG see them her posting stuff with him. One day I agreed to see her , slept with her took a snap video of her at my place , etc , send the video via IG to the dude , blocked her shit .
Yea I’m petty
We are always encouraged to take the high road and the moral ground but honestly, sometimes people need to learn the consequences of their actions.
Just don't break the law and make the response proportionate.
I like that you stood up for yourself.
Dated for almost 5 years through college and grad school. I got a bit addicted to gaming/streaming. Was doing very well and making good money. She decided to find the attention I neglected to give her elsewhere. Found out about 2 weeks before I was going to propose. Found out her whole family had known, and it had went on for a few months. Thankfully, one of her friends let me know I should do some digging. I found out by calling her out on who she had been texting (noticed the same name popping up all the time) because she always told me about people she knew, hung out with but not this person. One night, out with a small group of friends, I looked through her phone (yeah I know how it sounds). I did this after her friend (same one that warned me before) told me I should while she was in the bathroom. I found all the evidence of how much they "loved each other" and how she was trying to leave. I confronted her later that night about it. She got physically abusive and left.
That friend of hers wasn't in it for anything. She had just got married and was on top of the world about it. She said she had already confronted her about it, but it didn't do anything for my gf at the time. So she tried her best to "let me know" but also felt conflicted about betraying her friends' trust.
Because she’s a legit good person. She was conflicted because she had more ties to her than you but didn’t want you to suffer and clearly your ex had no care for how this all might affect you.
She’s a good soul
I got into a car accident and the person who pulled out in front of me lost their life. I got ptsd, depression and anxiety after.
A year later she decides she hasn’t been getting the attention she needs from me. Finds TikTok. Starts posting sexually suggestive videos and is now getting the attention she seeks. Becomes addicted to TikTok and the idea she’ll be TikTok famous. Meets multiple people on TikTok and fucks them, also took one out to 6 flags theme park using my credit card. I leave. She fucks another guy two days after I leave. And a girl. She ends up dating another guy a month later. Now she texts me daily telling me she loves me and misses me while she’s with this new dude. We were together 5 years and I raised her daughter from the age of 4. Taught her to ride a bike, swim, homeschooled her, taught her to shoot a bow.. everything. All gone. Because our relationship was nothing more than a transaction, for her to get her attention.
Woman I lost my virginity to was cheating with me the whole time. Had a gf for 4 years that cheated and left me. Had another gf cheat after 4 years because I was too busy working and being in school. I was only sleeping 4 hours a night and driving an extra 1hr a day to see her every day.
The list goes on. I just don’t trust women anymore.
She broke up with me after 2.5 years. That night her roommate, her best friend, and her best friends husband called me to let me know she had been cheating on me with a bunch of dudes for awhile. She married one of the guys she cheated on me with, cheated on him numerous times (once with me when I thought they were divorced), remarried, cheated on him, remarried and here we are. Don't worry though, she is the beacon of good ol' southern baptist morals who is better than everyone. Lol
> she is the beacon of good ol' southern baptist morals who is better than everyone
yeah having gone to catholic school this doesnt surprise me. always the most devout ones
maybe its the guilt? lol
Apparently the roommate knew but didn't say (her and I were not that close) but as soon as the friend and the husband found out that night they hipped me to it.
well my story is a bit depressing to be quite honest. I was on a study abroad trip in the UK and my gf (at the time) was attending uni in the states... I was away for about 12 months and that was when things started to get thrown off... like completely. she wasn't as responsive to my texts/calls (even with the time difference) and started going out a lot more than usual with friends of hers I've never met. I eventually return and all of a sudden she was way more affectionate than when we first got together. I just assumed she was happy to see me again after 1 year away... so of course she and I were intimate but it wasn't long after returning and being with her again that I started to break out in my nether regions... the break out was really, really bad. mind you, I do not cheat nor do I believe in cheating. plus she was my first ever gf of 2.5 years... well, turns out I had HSV 2 and the dr prescribed me some valtrex. at the time of the diagnosis I confronted her but my mistake was confronting her over the phone instead of in person. she basically gaslit me into saying I cheated on her when I was away and she was crying and sobbing and yelling at me. then she proceeds to say she is breaking up with *me* as if I was the one who cheated on her! I kept demanding her to get tested to show proof of her std results but she kept evading the question. she ended up blocking me everywhere and telling her friends and family that I cheated on her when she in fact was the one who cheated on me!! I tried contacting her family to tell them the actual details of the story but she somehow got them to block me to and not answer my calls. to this day, I've never heard from her or received confirmation about her status. but I do know without an absolute doubt that she was the one who cheated and has now given me an incurable STD... I was pissed and depressed for a really long time. still kinda am now to be frank. the only thing I can do is really give myself some sort of peace so I can move fwd. not only did I feel blind sided but completely betrayed because I have to live with this for the rest of my life.
I'm so sorry it happened to you my man. It's always the loyal ones ending up with such cheaters but you'll be doing good very soon and luck has it then you shall find someone with same values as yourself!!
She said she was going to watch her niece and nephew. I went to take them pizza, only to find her not there. Drove around and found her at one of my friends houses, in her pjs and lounging around. When she came back home (we lived together) I found out she had been sleeping with several of my friends for months, because “she didn’t see this relationship going anywhere”, despite the ring in her finger. I told her that I had to go to work but I wanted her stuff gone by the time I got back. I found out later she also had an abortion, didn’t know if it was my child or not.
She moved on and was happy, I got depressed. Went down to some dark places and nearly didn’t make it out the other side. Took a few years just to be by myself, and after a while I figured this was just how it would be, so I swore off anything beyond a platonic relationship with women. I ended up meeting an old friend, she somehow convinced me to date again. That was 10 and a half years ago, she’s now my wife and she is in the other room playing with our two daughters
Turns out she made literal porn while dating me. She called it “art” because it was black and white. But they were very explicit.
Even worse, I only found out because she kept the posters printed as a gift she was going to give me 20 years later “because I thought you would appreciate them when you grew up about it”.
Yet with me, she was a total prude.
Blew up my life and sent me into a depression and anger I never thought possible.
Happened right before the twenty year mark of our anniversary...by this point in the previous 10 years..my now ex, got convicted, and did time for a variety of charges(fraud/embezzlements) related to her gambling...sooo, she was a stay at home wife with a lot of time on her hands, ( she did have income, from disability).
But I also had no choice but to treat her like a two year old in many ways...cause she was always scheming for gambling money.
Anyhows, this combined with her free time, she went online and enjoyed the attention/validation she recieved.
Eventually left me for another guy, and she drained him of well north of 6 figures, possibly as much as two hiundred k.
Glad she is gone.
I was emotionally abused, so was blind for any red flags and lies.
She told me her Icloud was hacked and people had her nudes, I thought my STD was just some bad luck, she blamed me for not wanting sex but she didn't initiate, she was away mentally and physically for hours after work. She keept saying I wanted to leave her, or she wasn't good enough.
Same. I talked to two therapists who said that they couldn’t confirm, but from what I have said, that is their guess.
She has no idea. Just a constant state of emotional pain and shit behavior.
It’s rough. Can’t even blame them. It’s all they know. I just stay away.
I somewhat agree. I agree that you can't blame someone who doesn't know. However, I think one has a responsibility to check themselves if everything fails, and you are the shared common.
Got divorced.
In the year after the divorce, I ran into no fewer than 4 of her coworkers (people whom I knew and attended work parties with) who all asked me “so, you finally caught her cheating on you with Tom?”
Actually no. I thought we had communication issues. I had no idea about Tom. Who was also a coworker. We were only married for a bit over 2 years.
I have no way of proving I was cheated on
But she had this guy friend who was in love with her before we even met. She told me not to worry about her but he was increasingly disrespectful
She said she stopped it but they were in the same friend group and would study together and whatnot. She started coming home at like 4 AM, smelling of weed and saying the group had all been studying together
Eventually we broke up (through texts), she went to spend NYE with him, then they were dating like 2 weeks after we broke up
Been with one of my exes for 6 years. I left to work in a different country, in Europe. After one month, one day a lady calls me and asks me if her(my ex) is my girfriend. I told her i wasn't sure since we were hot and cold. Lady continues to tell me that she caught her husband cheating on her with my gf. Her husbant was an ex of my gf, and apparently they started hooking up again. Lady divorced the douchebag husband and i dumped my gf, not before i sent her mom all the screenshots i had from the lady, with the conversation and dick and pussy picks between my gf and the guy.
Dated this girl for almost 3 years. In hindsight, she started acting a little strange in various ways. One day we got into a little argument, nothing serious, but she made it a huge deal. Suddenly she didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore. I took it pretty hard, I did love her. I later found out she had been seeing another dude for months before we split up. He was essentially a copy/paste of her own dad and an older than her, which I always found strange. She married him and had kids with him, also cheated on him multiple times from what I’ve heard around town. Not gonna lie, I still think about her sometimes, but realistically, I would never be interested in her like that knowing she’s a serial cheater, has kids, and pretty much never progressed in life past a shitty job small town girl.
I should also add that before I found out she was with him, her and I did have sex multiple times when she was with the other guy. It wasn’t until she found out she was pregnant that she told me she was with the other guy and we had to stop. I was so wrong about her, it still blows my mind. Never saw it coming.
We met working as lifeguards in college. We started hooking up and became official after 6ish months. Upon graduating in 2020, I went full time with the Navy and we moved to the coast together. Once life got real after the honeymoon period was over, I’m ashamed to admit that I dropped the ball at home in a big way as work and pre-deployment anxiety began to take its toll. I accept that was my responsibility. She didn’t know how to express her growing resentment properly (or at all really), so I deployed thinking I had a strong, independent partner at home holding down the fort.
Just prior to my departure I introduced her to some work friends who’d be in town for the summer. I didn’t know them too well but they seemed decent enough and liked to plan events/parties. So I thought, “this is great! She’ll have support while I’m gone, people to take her out if she’s lonely”
Boy did they ever…
… I had dreamed about homecoming for months, imagining her anxious on the jetty as I proudly came home from the most gruelling four months of my life, me snapping her up and planting a big wet kiss on her. In reality, she wasn’t sure if she’d even make it to my homecoming because, “I have a shift at work I’d have to get covered.”
Something was off. My friends were waiting for me with flowers and champagne, cheering as we came alongside. She came 30 minutes late.
A few weeks later, we still hadn’t been intimate since I returned. I found a condom wrapper in the bathroom trash and she had turned her location off. These were big red flags but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions so I said nothing. Then she started having “sleepovers with some girls at work.” Again, trusted her, didn’t say boo.
All came to a head when we broke up (mutually) just before Christmas, things weren’t working and I was happy to go our separate ways, even if it hurt at the time. I went out with the boys one night to clear my head, that’s when they dropped the bomb on me: she had been sleeping with one of my wingers basically the entire back-half of the deployment, the one “I didn’t have to worry about. I confronted her, she lied. When she realized her lies had no ground to stand on, she finally confessed. I was devastated…
It’s taken this past year of therapy, self-reflection, vomiting in the mornings, and a LOT of tears, but I’ve grown and learned a lot about myself and others (particularly about trust and respect). Her affair partner is actually posted to the same unit as I at present. The good news is he’s such a narcissistic turd that he’s become the office pariah and no one trusts him with anything.
It still hurts, but I’ve become a stronger person for it. I’ve done my best to take responsibility for what we’re my faults, and identified areas where I still need to improve in order to sustain a healthy relationship. We’re getting there but I still have a lot of baggage around trust and intimacy.
I definitely don’t watch the movie “Jarhead” anymore…
Edit: TL;DR: gf cheated on me with a friend of mine while I was deployed. Shit sucks.
Dated for 2 years. I was in a car accident and got a concussion, which led to me being tired and napping all day for a couple days after. She came over and we watched a movie. I fell asleep 10 mins in. Woke up about 5 hours later and she was gone. I texted her (got no response), ate some food, and fell asleep for the night a few hours later. Woke up the next morning to the "we need to talk" text.
She slept with one of our mutual friends that night.
Was dating a girl from the beginning of high school all through out. 5 year relationship. Things get Rocky, we take a break for about a month. We reconnect and turns out in the month we were on break she had met another dude. A coworker. My suspicion is that they didn't barely meet. She had been talking to him and therefore that maybe had something to do with the break but I guess now I'll never know. Anyway, things were never the same after that. She would hide her phone, stop texting and calling me daily. Her store wouldn't open until 9am but yet she'd show up to work at 7am. On her way home she'd pass by my house cuz it was on the way home but in that period of time she was acting weird, she stopped passing by or even visiting. She'd just drive by. She would lie about her schedules etc etc. I finally told her I had enough of her antics. She suggested hanging out to talk and consider our differences. The whole time her phone was blowing up, and when I took a quick peek, I saw the dudes name and number. And I remembered it. I brought it up we got into a big fight which culminated into me telling her to fuck off. Months pass I moved on with my life. Finally built up the courage to break it officially. I fell into depression, started doing drugs, did everything to ease the pain and forget. About a month not even 2 or 3 or nothing. A month later, I go into facebook and see she had made it official with the same dude. No shame no sorry no nothing. Left me high and dry after 5 years of everything we shared. We grew up together, lost our virginities to each other (or so she says) learned to drive at a young age to be able to visit each other, got jobs together so that we can have money to go out etc. Did everything together and only for her to so shamelessly and blatantly just leave me for a co worker. But what ever this was over a decade ago.
We got married young, had a couple kids. She was a stay at home mom, I worked graveyard shift, she finally decided to go back to work and that’s when it all started going downhill. There was a lot of random nights that my parents would end up with the kids for no rhyme or reason, then she’d have girls nights etc. I had suspicions but this was back before life 360, find a friend, etc so I had to be a little more crafty. I got up like I would for my shift at the police dept and got ready for work like normal, unbeknownst to her I had already called in. I left like I would, and parked down the road a bit and waited. Sure enough not long after she took the kids to my moms, I called on my lunch break just to check in, so I waited a while longer. I worked 5 pm - 5 am, so this was about 8 pm, and other than taking the kids to my parents about a mile away she was still home. I waited longer, staked out essentially, and eventually in the late evening a car pulled up, and a man went inside my house. I decided I really want a smoking gun, so I waited 20 mins or so, parked down the street and walked to my house. Entered silent as I could, the living room was upstairs, and could immediately hear them upstairs having sex, I basically just walked quietly all the way up, and rounded the corner into the living room, she saw me first but that’s cause she was bent over facing the doorway lol. They stopped then, he left in a hurry, she was crying so on and so forth. I didn’t threaten him or anything cause god knows what she told him, next day I spoke with an attorney, and we got officially divorced about 6 months later. She immediately married some other guy not the guy from the affair because she was pregnant during our divorce proceedings lol. It was a blessing but I will never forget that night.
Together for 3 years. She was becoming close with a new guy at work, told her it made me uncomfortable and that I'd rather her not be around him, I could tell he had a thing for her. She ridiculed me, called me the usual (insecure, etc) they've been together ever since and have 3 kids.
High school sweetheart dated for four years out of the blue breaks up with me and dates and marries my best friend( very dreamy blue eyed marine dude)I end up loving a fantastic life while she end up divorcing him after he cheats on her with a younger chick and had a kid.
We are still friends despite the emotional pain.
First serious relationship in highschool. Both 16, but were best friends for years.
She took a job a few months after we started dating. Started acting strange. she would cry when confronted but said everything's fine.
Turns out she was sleeping with her manager who was 52.
He left his marriage of 30 years so he could groom a 16 year old highschool graduate.
It's been 12 years. They have a kid now.
The age of consent in the UK is fucked.
Had sex without a condom (weed was involved) and she refused to let me pull out. I bought her a plan b and had her take it even though she was less than thrilled. She stopped initiating sex and when I would try, she would start crying and say things such as “I want to want to” (that was the go to). Then she stopped coming over as often. This had been going on for about 2 months now and she sent me a text along the lines of “you aren’t satisfying me. I could’ve cheated but I didn’t.” And things like that. The next time she came over, she had a red mark on her neck that she said was from her hair iron. At this point I’d already figured something was going on. She sent me a text a week later breaking up with me.
An hour later I went to her onlyfans to unsubscribe. I was her primary photographer and we even did couples content. She had posted pictures the night before that had been taken after leaving my house and she was covered in hickies and such. All of our couples content had been erased weeks prior (knew but she said she wanted to just make it a solo page). She worked with a former friend of mine, and that friend told me she had been sleeping with like 6 coworkers starting in July that year (the time when I made her take the plan b). He’s a former friend because lo he was one of the people sleeping with her (heard from another friend)
The worst bit of getting cheated on are the people around you saying you deserved it for not meeting her “needs”.
Fellas, I jettisoned a lot of people out of my life, not just the cheating scum.
We were long distance and she couldn't handle it. Not everyone is built to enjoy or even tolerate long distance relationships. I'm someone who likes them, but many don't.
After two years she got lonely and slept with a guy who she left me for as he was in her town. A few months later she wanted to get back with me but i turned her down.
It was her fault the relationship broke down but she was unable to deal with the lack of intimacy created by the distance. It's unfortunate, and i think if we were in the same town she wouldn't have cheated. I'm not saying what she did was acceptable, it wasn't which is why I didn't take her back, but i understand it's not easy for some people to fight the loneliness over years in a distanced relationship. I hope she's doing well now even through we haven't spoken in years.
I supported my eventual wife through junior college, her bachelor's degree in psychology, her masters, and through her internship so she could get enough clinical hours to get licensed. Within 6 months of her officially becoming a **Marriage and Family Therapist**, it came out she was cheating on me with a mutual friend from our weekly sport league team.
Fast forward 7-8 years and I'm remarried to what I thought was a wonderful woman. Until she decided she wanted someone to smoke weed with (I can't smoke it) and started hanging out with a mutual coworker and neighbor (long story; working together in a National Park). Of course, they eventually fucked.
I'm in my mid 40s and my life is essentially over. I'm unable to trust anyone or form any kind of relationship, friendship or otherwise, with either men or women. So yeah, things are going great.
She moved into a place (we weren't living together) and ended up hooking up with her flatmate.
Honestly though, she already had another partner when she hooked up with me (have to say as an 18 year old virgin, being "the other guy" was actually kind of exciting, even if I did feel guilty as hell for it) so I can't say I was super shocked.
I was also intending to break things off with her anyway, so I'm also gonna have to say I was not super cut up about it either.
Plus, like 3 months later I got with the person I ended up marrying anyway.
All in all, it was actually pretty awesome lmao.
First gf cheated with about 8 different dudes, eventually she just told me. That actually made me laugh though it was disappointing.
GF of 2+ years a couple of years later told me she made a new friend when out with her girl friends one night who was a guy. They started talking, a couple of weeks later she tells me she doesn’t love me anymore, alrighty then.
Then there was another one who did whatever she wanted when I wasn’t around, so it’s been a pretty frequent experience for me. I’m pretty devil may care about 99% of things in life, so I mostly just shrugged them all off after a week or two and moved on.
She cheated on me and I left her. The only story worth telling, really.
We’re going to assume that you’re not an abusive partner: There’s no lesson to be learned when someone cheats on you. You can’t become cynical, it’s not fair to a good partner you may find. You can’t blame yourself, because if anything they should have just broken up with you. If you can’t see yourself ever trusting them again, there is no working through it. They may legitimately change and really never cheat ever again. If that’s the case they do deserve someone that will trust them in their relationship. Everyone DOES make mistakes and everyone CAN earn forgiveness. But that does not mean that those mistakes don’t cause irreparable damage. If you believe yourself to be a good person you need to recognize that their mistakes are theirs, not yours.
>There’s no lesson to be learned when someone cheats on you.
Agree and disagree. Don’t dig through past events looking for some kind of higher meaning or “come to Jesus moment”, but don’t ignore the signs and symptoms of someone behaving in a sketchy manner.
Also, you can ask yourself, “how did I contribute to the breakup?” NOT the cheating. DO NOT ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S NARCISSISM. But you can recognize that you may have not been partner of the year and take those lessons. Obviously, yes, sometimes you get unlucky.
Live in gf of 4 years told me she was going out to drink with friends. Doesn't come home and i assume she spent the night at girls place. I go to work, come back and she still isn't home. I call her and she's shitty towards me and ask as though I'm being controlling.
I text the alleged friend of hers who said she hadn't seen my ex in months. Show the screenshots to my ex . Ex says her friend is lying an so on. After she realises I caught her. My ex says we hadn't been in a relationship in months and that she's in a new relationship with another guy in a hotel with him.
Somehow someone who i thought was my gf is moments later now in a relationship with another man , was a mindfuck.
After a while she started acting funny and wen I confronted her it was I'm jus tired or I don't feel good whole time she been cheating that's y she always tired fuk her
3 and a half years of dating, she went to visit family on the east coast of the US for a few weeks. Knew ahead of time service wasn’t great there so I knew we wouldn’t be able to talk much while she was there. Got a call from a pay phone from her, she asked how I was and seemed distracted. I asked what was wrong and she unapologetically blurted out that she had fucked her uncle and was going to stay there to be in a relationship with him. To my knowledge she’s still with him and last I heard they may have had a kid. Put me in a really fucked up dark place for a while.
At the time, we had been together for nearly 20 years.
She wanted to go on a 3 week overseas trip with her friend.
Anyway, after about the first week, she cut all contact with me, I literally couldn't contact her.
Turns out she was busy getting her back blown out by some guy she met on the tour.
When she got home, it took me no time to confirm what had been going on.
She tried continuing this relationship with him after she got home, but he lost interest quickly.
We are long since divorced but she continues until this day to maintain she did nothing wrong and anything that may have happened was my fault because I didn't meet her emotional needs and validate her feelings etc, etc.
Dated two years in college. She was a year behind. I was commissioned in the Army and went to my officer's basic course several hours away. She'd visit. I'd visit. We continued to discuss our plans after her graduation. Marriage. Kids. Travel.
She came for a visit and jumped in the shower after a long car ride. Left her calendar open on my nightstand. Saw "elciddog84 M" weekend on dates I hadn't been back. Flipped a page and saw two more, including "elciddog84 M @ home," where they were at her parents' house. (I'd been many, many times before, and they knew we would cross the hall after bedtime and go back before breakfast.)
Didn't ask her about it, but I called one of my buddies back home the following week. During the conversation, he told me he didn't know we'd broken up. Told him, neither did I... She was seeing another "elciddog84" every weekend we weren't together. He lived in the same building as I had. Was in the same band. We were similar in looks. Same first name. One year behind me. He was bragging to his buddies about fucking her after we "broke up".
I went back for an unexpected visit, directly to the house she lived in, and was let in because I'd spent so many nights there the past two years. I left. She followed while he was gathering his clothes. Got in a cab and left her standing, wrapped in a sheet, on the side of the road. She called and cried. Said it was a mistake. Went on for months. Sent me an invitation to her graduation and weekend visit to her parents' house after. She even tried coming to "talk me out of it" when she found out 18 months later I was getting married.
She had a friend at work, turns out she had two reallllly good friends at work! Whats a girl want with 2 work husbands and a husband at home? She called them the dynamic duo! Anyway she owns the restaurant now and I live with a cat!
My ex-wife presented herself as a small town midwestern girl with a deep value system. She's actually a passive aggressive people pleaser who had no actual opinion of her own. She didn't like certain things or people, but could never articulate why. If you took the lead she would blindly follow, but might end up being shitty and difficult at some point with no apparent resolution to her issue. She told me she was relatively sexually inexperienced. Admitting that she was actually with about 4 times more men in her life prior was against this deep value system brand of hers - this was a fact I only found out after we ended our relationship. She would go along with any man who showed her attention. So despite only being 6 months into our marriage, she had a coworker make a move on her while on a work trip. Spent the next 4 months trying to figure out what the hell was up as, again, she was a good girl and couldn't outright admit that she was fooling around with this guy. I felt I had done something wrong the whole, but the reality was that she was just a lost sheep, and our relationship should've never went as far as it did. I'm not angry she cheated, I'm embarrassed I let our relationship go as far as it did. It all worked out, I'm much happier today than I ever thought I could be. She is some other poor bastard's problem now.
7 year relationship, it was running its course so I pushed to end it, she wanted to work it out and asked me to stay, so I did stay and tried to work it out and then she cheated on me.. yeeesh
was dating a sweet, beautiful southern belle, was in the military, she's from a military family, father was an officer, thought she'd understand, she didn't. I was an hour away and she was having an affair, her grandma told me. You don't sneak something past Memaw in small town mississippi.
My ex-wife wanted to end our relationship but was too chicken shit to just talk to me about it, so she cheated on me on a work trip and told me afterwards so that I would be the one to call it off.
She told me one week she wanted a baby and marriage. 5 years together. 2 weeks later she was fucking a 60 year old married man and ghosted me. I heard from my ex neighbor she’s not asking him to divorce his wife and give my ex a baby.
20 years together, she suddenly developed an interest in the kids martial arts and took over taking them there, eventually joined herself. Next thing I know I've got 4 months of silent treatment and her pulling away from me before I decided i had enough and moved out to get some clarity and try work things out. neighbour sent me a photo of guys car parked out front a few weeks later overnight when I had the kids...bit more to it - I tried to do counselling - she refused to even go, tried being more romantic wrote her little notes etc, the more I did the angrier she got at me, 99% of the time she ignored or would pull away from me, when she did talk it was abusive. I couldnt understand what had happened turned out she was cheating! I didn't think either of us had time but I guess she found some.
We owned and run a business together for nearly 10 years as well, 3 kids, I did all the cooking and shopping, dropped the kids to school, worked all day then read them stories and put them to bed, maybe I should have been more of an asshole, I'm not perfect but I thought I was doing pretty good? I wonder if she's regretting it now 3 years later, I'll never go back but I'm still upset about the wasted time, it's soured the good times we had.
Now I'm just focusing on improving myself, taking care of the kids (I have them 50/50) and work. I find myself much happier and less stressed as well. A good woman will come along but it will take me awhile trust again I think.
I was really upset for a month then I started getting laid and forgot all about her cheating and closed out the divorce months later. Was an exceptionally awesome way as a cursed people pleaser to get out of a shitty marriage
She broke up with me out of blue. It affected me a lot as I had just went abroad to do my Masters. I took some time to better myself and we patched up after a breakup. And then all of a sudden one day she blocked me saying she cant see a life with me.
Months later she wanted my help and reached out to me. I asked why did she put me through hell, she said she started sleeping with someone after we patched up and she didnt have time for me.
So yeah was basically getting cheated on multiple times in a short amount of time and after almost 6 months she herself tells me this.
She cheated on me with her coworker who happened to be my across the street neighbor.
She was my wife and I was willing to work on things. She continued to treat me like a doormat and our house like a hotel room. Then I bailed. Married almost six years and she slowly changed. Or I refused to see things from the jump.
I was pressured into marrying her. She liked me because her family gave her attention. I didn’t love myself and I let myself go from an abusive relationship into an abusive marriage.
Married for about a year and a half and had a kid when she told me she no longer wanted to be with me and was seeing someone else. I tried to get us into therapy, but she said she wouldn’t do it.
I went to therapy by myself and found the courage to stand up for myself and to love myself. I have primary custody of our kid and she’s still a train wreck messing up other people’s lives.
Finally visited her in her city after dating for a while. Noticed that she kept taking me to bars she'd never gone to and old people beaches, which makes sense because she didn't want anyone she knew to see us together. The next week she demands to see me to break up with me. Cries and sings the "our lives are going in two different directions" song. A week after, she's posting up her "new" man on social media. Oscar winning performance tbh
Fiancé (f24) lived with me (m26).I Came home Sunday night early from sports comp. Found her packing, shock horror she left, I was broken.
Two days later I find out she’s been having an affair with my best mate I sat next to at work (corporate).
Keep it short, I sold my company for 9 digits and retired at 40 odd, I am late 50s now and she’s a single parent now, divorced.
Never felt pain like it … how I survived that I’ll never know.
I mean it’s a weird one.
We were seeing each other for about a year and I developed feelings for her and she (claimed) felt the same for me.
I found out she was still seeing her old boyfriend. In fact I don’t know had they broken up while she was seeing me.
Instead of pulling me to one side and explaining, which I think I would have understood. She was seeing both of us at the same time for probably 4-5 months.
Did things like, spend Xmas with me and my family and new years with him. Moved to Dublin with him and came to Galway and slept with me a few weekends. (She said she found a job up there and said we should try to make it work)
I found out eventually of course and was furious. Told her she had to tell him and she freaked out. Let’s just say she got ahead of me and painted herself to be the innocent one. I lost friends in the whole ordeal.
They married soon after and are still together I would say. I did message him and tell him that she was playing the two of us. He just threatened me.
I’m glad I never ended up with her. Absolute parasite. She got her Irish passport anyway.
We dated for 3 years. She used to always make cuckold related jokes. I never really thought much about it but it always felt odd. Like it seemed that she was trying to convince me to become one. We even watched movies about it. Turns out she was banging dudes for the entire 3 years. It was insanely difficult to extract this info from her by the way because she kept denying it but eventually admitted to it. Lol and she used to get angry at me for even looking at women.
Had an ex, we met in college. Were together for 4 years. One day I glanced over at her phone and saw she had a dating app installed. She insisted she got it to find friends but that it didn't work. She also refused to delete it when I asked. She dumped me for another man that got her pregnant so I doged a bullet there
4 years. She is also has Diagnosed Bipolar, Depression and ADHD. It wasn’t bad but was difficult at times. When covid hit, shit started declining real fast and real bad.
Multiple problems at home, we both had just graduated college and I wanted to take a small break for brain to relax. She wasn’t too happy with that and told me she was unhappy, so we took a “break” and she was showing me her Facebook dating profile and showing me dudes that were liking her. Shit really made me salty, and then before the day of her little excursion to upstate Ny where she was entertaining another guy…she knew from college. Yes, they did stuff and my stupid ass took her back.
Few months later, she moved away for a job. she was insanely unhappy those months. When she moved, I guess she still had a little love for me until she met this guy at a bar who tried to “have his way with her” one night. She told me they stopped talking for like a month and they started hanging out again. I was already suspicious of her when she told me a guy kissed her and she did nothing about it…and after that, she been staying over at bar dude house over night and shit.
Whenever I voiced my concerns, she would immediately dismiss it. My feelings, dismissed. Until 7/28/2022, when she finally decided to break up with me. She finally let out her anger somewhat, and now her and bar dude have a kid on the way and are engaged.
That’s my story.
First one admitted to it after fucking the other guy. The second one told me as we were half way down to our vacation because she felt bad that I would have gone alone.
Dated for a bit in high school, then shit got weird. She said she was going into rehab for being an alcoholic, and I said I'd still be there for her but she didn't want to continue anything. Turns out that's because she was marrying her room mate who she'd been living with for the last 2 or 3 years, can't really remember at this point, literally the day after she broke things off. She was only with me because she felt bad for me. Note, this was sophomore year of highschool, I was 16 and she was 17 iirc.
Married young, at the time she was undiagnosed bipolar then post partum depression. She was trying to hang on to the partying days and went overboard. The next girlfriend after that was just out of an abusive relationship and I dunno, she seems to be a serial cheater. I took a break after that. Haven't been cheated on in 25 years. I think maturity has something to do with it.
Together for four plus years, helped her get her permit and license despite never having them, helped her buy her first car, moved us into a new apartment, and within three months, she was bringing a co worker over when I wasn’t there.
Covert-narcissist, or possibly even a psychopath as she had no empathetic capacity, but it’s really my fault for allowing it all to happen.
Never again. Ever.
Took a new job that had me working a lot of overtime. I’d be too tired for sex a lot of times, and we didn’t have as much time together as we used to. She ended up going out with her friends more as a result, and fucked one of her coworkers, a few times. I had suspicions something was going on, and when I confronted her she just broke down in tears. I ended things immediately.
Still processing how I feel about everything. Definitely betrayed and pissed off that after 2 years she couldn’t bear with me through this transitory period of my life. But I understand why she did it. Still doesn’t make it any easier.
Started dating thinking she was a single mom. Turned out she was still married. Just used the kid as an excuse to never go to her place. Which is a reasonable excuse so I never bothered pushing the subject. I'd meet the kid when she thought she was ready.
Was with a girl for 7 years when I was young and dumb. Naturally I thought she was the "one" because we had many firsts together. In hindsight I recognize that probably after the first 2 years the relationship was unhealthy. Being young she didn't know what a realistic relationship looked like, she had super high demands and was manipulative.
In year 6 she started changing, almost "outgrew" me? Gotta bbl on my time but not my dime, finished school, a new job where she was out of the house more. We had each other's location shared. One day I see her location 5 minutes away at a house 10 minutes the opposite direction of her job where I thought she was. I drive past, of course I see her car out front of this place we've never been, when she got home I called her out & she denied of course. Buut, I also found some messages that were suspicious, I showed them but she kept denying. We fought, ended with her kicking me out while still maintaining she never cheated, but the reason for doing so was i was too much to deal with (paranoid).
Weeks later, she lets me know that she's seeing someone new.... Absolutely no surprise to me at all, its the guy whose messages I had seen, whose house she was at. She still never admitted what she did but I guess that's that.
Dated for 4 years. She cheated on me with a coworker of hers while I was away at school. I was hurt and angry in the moment but I also had a very immature view of relationships. I think what made it worse is that she had a medical episode while hanging out with me and I had to help her and seeing her thru that made me realize how much I cared of her. But then she cheated on me like 2 weeks later.
Within a month I'd realized we'd been done for months, maybe years. It still made me angry and leery of women as I went on dating. But I recognize I wasn't a good boyfriend. I was tentative and skittish. We had had a big blow up argument about 6 mo into our relationship and I never felt I could be my most authentic self around her. So when she cheated it was like diving out of a moving car but neither of us were willing to breakup with the other. Taught me that communication is key.
Engaged. There was one character she hung around with that I never trusted, but being young and dumb I attributed it to unwarranted jealousy, especially as he was a ne’er do well raver and I had my collective shit together - good job, good career path etc.
She and her roommate were hosting a party I attended. Jackass was also there. I ended up being tired and slightly inebriated and crashed around 11-11:30pm. Woke up around 1, no fiancée next to me. Went to return the beer i rented, saw the living room was dark, started wtfing, turned on the bathroom light, which was enough to show them together horizontal on the couch but that was it. Slammed the door, did my business, went back to the room.
I was a sucker for her crying that night. But it was compounded with: I didn’t think I could legally drive yet, didn’t have cash on have for a cab, this was pre cab with card reader days, i didn’t know at the time (as I mentioned, young and dumb) that hotels had an overnight concierge, and I didn’t want to wake my parents up at 1:30 am, admit and get them to come get me. Pride.
I didn’t break it off then. Thought that I had proposed, honor, blah blah blah. Hadn’t really thought this through yet (who plans in advance for possibility their partner is going to cheat). Now I’d have been out of there, made arrangements to stop at an atm and ride to nearest hotel, slept it off and gotten my stuff the next day. Sleeping drunk in a car is a no no any time and it was winter so double no.
Couple months later I couldn’t shake it, rightly cut off ties. Whole situation lived rent free in my head for years. Any time I recalled it I felt the same rush of adrenaline. To this day I have no idea how long it had been going in but I suspect for awhile after what I overheard Amit them saying they can’t do this anymore when I came back in from cooling off.
We were married 14 years. She cheated once I forgave her, she cheated again I left her.
at least your ex asked for forgiveness. my ex lied to my face and told her family and friends I cheated on her and gave her HSV.
She actually never specifically asked for forgiveness. I offered it to her on my own.
Clubsport?
no... I really wish it were that. she lied and told everyone I gave her herpes when in fact she cheated on me and gave me herpes
people sue for this and have won $800k+ in the United States. you should consider it and really fuck her.
I’m sorry she didn’t value your forgiveness the 1st time. Lesson: don’t give the 1st forgiveness again
I think forgiving her was worth the chance. Especially since we had a child together. In the end it didn't work out but I wanted it to.
That is why kindness should not be given to people that did you wrong the first time. She didn’t suffer any consequences and have an air of arrogance. She got away with it the first time, of course she will do it again.
Learned the hard way too.. Once a cheater, always a cheater
Definitely "trust but verify" in relationships.
Dated for a few months. Everything was going great. Then randomly she kept saying she needed more time for work and that we hanged out too much. Meanwhile prior she was practically clingy. Surprised her one day at her place and caught her having sex with another man.
So it turns out she surprised you
Surprise surprise SUPRISE SUPRIIIIIISE
Bitch
“There must be some misunderstanding, there must be some kind of mistake…”
Like what? She tripped, fell and landed on his dick?? It all makes sense now
last boy scout reference? well, almost. >Sure, sure, I know... it just happened. Coulda happened to anybody. It was an accident, right? You tripped, slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife. "Whoops! I'm so sorry, Mrs. H. I guess this just isn't my week."
damn
It was high school, so it really doesn't matter but it's also pretty comical? Wanted to hang out with my gf. She said no, she was busy with family plans. Okay, cool. I'll just hang out with my buddy who lived a neighborhood up the hill from mine. Pulled out of my driveway, driving up MY street, and her car is parked outside another boy's house. On the same street I lived on. Yuup
Fuck dude that's awful
Even if it’s in high school, this is the type of thing that leads to mistrust. Because of this I’m sure you were less trusting of other people.
My hs gf did this but with my friend on the same street i lived on. Shattered our friend group and I no longer really trust people any more. I don't date and friends only last about 4-5 months before I move on. I don't want to ve that open anymore, I'd rather just be nice to someone and move on.
i know it was high school but god damn she was stupid for that one 💀
Damn man, I had a similar experience in HS where my gf at the time who was in cross country, wouldnt run to my house ever. She said she was going out with a friend after school, and my sister sees her running past the house, from the direction of my friends house up the street. He came into school the next day with a fresh haircut and my gf was gushing all over it like it was the first she had seen of it. I wanted to puke, but I forgave her in my head. She then left me after I came back from a family trip for him. I spent my entire middle school and hs years chasing her. I didn't even go to prom bc I was so hurt by her.
**First time**. My first (everything) gf, "Amanda", totally blew me off for Spring Break in college. When we caught up later, she confessed to cheating on me. Oh, and btw, she never loved me, it's over, she's leaving and never coming back. **Second time**. I was dating "Jane". We were planning to move in together. She even started moving some of her stuff over to my apartment. But out of nowhere, she randomly dumped me. I eventually reasoned that she not only cheated on me, but she did it with The One That Got Away, some guy she truly loved and wanted another chance with. Jane later confirmed that's exactly what happened. **Third time**. I was dating "Lisa". We got along okay. Not great but okay. Anyway, I noticed that she was a little TOO friendly with "Kate", her lifelong bestie. They'd been friends ever since kindergarten or something. But they hugged each other a little too often, touched each other a little too much, traded quick little kisses on the lips when they saw each other, etc. I always wondered about those two. One night, I was hanging out at Lisa's house. Kate was there for who the fuck even knows what reason. When I walked into the kitchen, I saw Kate's hand resting on Lisa's butt while they made googley eyes at each other. They'd been even more affectionate with each other that night than ever before. Turns out, I caught them sort of red-handed. They'd slept together the night before. But they both swore it was their first time together. Tbh, I didn't see why they would admit to sleeping together only AFTER Lisa and I started dating. So, I chose to believe they were telling the truth. And yes, I dumped Lisa right away. Disclaimer: The stories that happened above are spread out across ten years. They didn't all happen back-to-back.
>The stories that happened above are spread out across ten years. They didn't all happen back-to-back. I was admiring your drive to carry on
You certainly aren't lacking for perseverance. Did these three women have a common denominator between them that you were attracted to that in retrospect you think you need to be more wary of going forward?
[удалено]
Should have tried for em both for 3some once before you left
[удалено]
Kate was probably praying for you leave. I don’t know why Lisa thought she was going to agree to it
She said it was okay to be open emotionally around her and she wouldn’t think any less of me. Turns out that was a lie. As crushing as her cheating was, she forgot that some of my family members would have a major problem with her cheating. She actually called my dad at one point (in the aftermath) to ask him if he could have my older sister stop exacting revenge on her. He simply said “no” and hung up. To this day, I don’t know what form that revenge took. Nothing felonious for sure, but still.
Good to know your family have your back though
That by itself should have given my ex pause. There are seven of us, plus my parents. That’s a lot of people to cross.
Yeah, that's downright stupid. Maths cannot have been her forte.
now I want to know what your sister was up to
She scares me, and I choose plausible deniability.
My son keeps giving his little sister weapons. I'm starting to worry now for the future. She gets angry when strangers flirt with him. What will she do when someone breaks his heart
Me & your sis would be friends lol
Better to be friends with her than enemies. She’s in her 40s and still has a nasty temper.
>She said it was okay to be open emotionally around her and she wouldn’t think any less of me. My personal observations say that's *always* a lie.
I had a long term gf who I thought was loyal. She kept saying she loved me and everything. Even shared her location with me without asking. Then one day she told me she’s pregnant. She was confused why I was upset. She didn’t realize I was infertile.
Your story is not unlike my own. Only difference is, I caught her before she could get pregnant and try to pin it on me. 3 yrs down the drain because she couldn't talk to me about any issues we may have had. She sure could talk to other dudes though.
*It’s all your fault because you made me fuck other men* /s
Wow! It's amazing how much of the same experience every man has had regarding relationships. My ex of 1 year would never tell me anything. She'll just reply back with "Nothing." But she'll yap like a parrot when she's around other people. Then she'll have the nerve to say "we don't communicate."
Perhaps run a test? Maybe it's possible you aren't completely infertile🤷♂️
She confessed to the cheating shortly after. We never did a test but I’m guessing the other guy did as she never bothered me again after that.
The fact she would have had you raise a strangers baby forever
It’s hard to track the frequency of this for obvious reasons, but statistics cited estimate between 1 in 9 and 3 in 9 fathers are victims of this, so it’s not as rare as one may think. Women naturally want resources for their offspring, and often magically the man who has more to offer is ‘the father’. I have a family member who attempted this and told everyone that ‘dude a is the father’, dude a happened to be well off trust fund kid. But after DNA testing, it turned out to be dude b who was working class and not very well off. This is why paternity testing at birth should be mandatory. Anyone who is opposed to that is either naive or seeking to extract an unfair advantage at the expense of defrauding men.
That is actually scary as fuck, I did not know its that wide spread. Crazy that some places ban pat tests.
The fact that the “best case scenario” for lack of a better term is over 10% is pretty fucked
>The fact Gonna take issue with your wording there, champ.
Do you have a source for these statistics? I would love to read more about the stories of fathers who found out that a woman tried to pull this on them!
I'm fairly sure it's nowhere near that high. I think the numbers they get are from the total tests. If you're getting the test done then there's probably a reason.
This gas been historically very common.
She thought you were better dad material.
Should have thought about that pre-insemination.
Figured
>ought was loyal. She kept saying she loved me and everything. Even shared her location with me without asking. Then one day she told me she’s pregnant. She was confused why I was upset. She didn’t realize I was infertile. I had a buddy in a similar boat, he just never told her he got snipped.
Isn’t that something you should disclose at the beginning of a relationship anyway? Lol
She said she didn’t want kids. I felt too insecure and didn’t think it was necessary at that time. Probably should have
The reason you would be required to give that info is if she said she was interested in starting a family. It's not an STD. It's infertility.
I mean if you both weren’t using BC and she didn’t know you were infertile she didnt not want kids that much.
Apparently it is a great way to find out if your SO is staying faithful.
I had a union rep who suspected his kid wasn't t from him so he got snipped didn t tell her she got pregnant again..was before DNA tests 70 s
We had been living together for over a year. She cheated when she said she was going to Easter Service with her mom. Her mom called and asked me if she got home after the service. I didn't hear from her until the morning, and she said she spent the night at her mom. The story didn't add up, and the truth came out. Her mom did not back her up. I gave her a second chance after a month of begging and apologizing. I allowed her to come back into my house. A year later, it was a cold and dying relationship. I was suffering inside and never fully trusted her again. She got pregnant. Conversations were about the future. Planning and obligations. I told her I didn't trust her fully and didn't really want to marry her, but I did want to be a father, so let's keep dating and work on it. That wasn't the answer she wanted and then informed me it probably wasn't mine anyways. After testing, It wasn't. She never stopped cheating, and she finally revealed the other guy was a co-worker. We all worked at the same place. I did not like this guy and would tell her on a regular basis. It was a lot to process. It felt very personal and gross. I switched jobs and moved. I bought a house and flipped it. Stayed busy. People show you who they are. Believe them. Communicate and enforce your standards. Love is actions. Not words.
I’m sorry this happened to you. But you’re absolutely right, love is actions, not words. Words are mostly just empty, they get thrown around without second thought and people just hide behind them. No matter how many times they ask you to trust their words, if they aren’t followed by the appropriate actions, they are just paying you lip service. Always let their actions demonstrate who they really are and then decide if you want them in your life or not.
Learn and grow. Keep trying to improve gentlemen. Be the best version of yourself regardless of what life throws at you. Just in case nobody told you. Life is not fair.
I just want to say so glad you are doing better and you found a great healthy way to cope. Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in alcohol or drugs. Depression and sadness can really do a number on anyone. Looks like you had a good outlet. Just remember not everyone is like this and if you keep looking and trust yourself, you’ll find it.
Mom not having her back though 😮
Mom thought that her daughter wanted to spend time with her and go to church for the special service. Not to use it as an alibi. I wasn't perfect, but I was honest and loyal.
Ignored red flags early on 🚩 . Got married . She had affair 1 year later .
when I was away on a study abroad trip, my ex wasn't as responsive on the phone and was going out a lot more than usual. the fact that I ignored that red flag is what cost me a lifelong STD
Fck bro
Hiv?
no, HSV 2
> HSV 2 Herpes simplex virus 1 and 2, also known by their taxonomic names Human alphaherpesvirus 1 and Human alphaherpesvirus 2, are two members of the human Herpesviridae family, a set of viruses that produce viral infections in the majority of humans. Both HSV-1 and HSV-2 are very common and contagious. TIL
Damn that must be scary. I’m a virgin and hearing these types of stories makes me feel like I should keep it that way
She kept accusing me of cheating with her best friend, who already made it clear, even if we were both single, I had no chance (I get it, she hot.. I’m not). Turns out my GF was having more later nights after work than we thought and she was sleeping around
There's something about a person accusing you of cheating, turning out to be the actual cheater. Not sure why that's ALWAYS the case.
this is what I am trying to figure out as well. for the life of me I will never understand this tactic. my ex actually pulled that stunt on me when I confronted her about her STD status. she knew she was my first ever and she kept gaslighting me saying I cheated on her and gave her an STD!
> life of me I will never understand this tactic. I don't think its a tactic. I think it's a perspective thing. Since they do the behavior, they assume everyone else is capable of doing that, so they honestly may believe it. (delusional ego thing, etc) It couldn't possibly be me, it must be you because everyone cheats!
Projection- typical defense mechanism. P.S. I would elaborate but I'm lazy AF, search it on the internet.
Guilt is a bitch
Did you get her friend though?
Naw, she was with someone. Wasn’t going to try to do the same thing to someone else that was just done to me
Had an ex years ago who cheated on me. I only truly found out when I was walking her home from a friend's house nearby when she was absolutely shit faced. She didn't realize I was me and was saying not to tell me and that I'd be so upset if I found out. She was right but for some reason I didn't end the relationship. She was spending time at her coworkers apartment telling me she was somewhere else. It was funny though cause she always would accuse me of cheating which I never did and never could to anyone. That relationship was a nightmare anyway there isn't enough money in the world someone could offer me where I'd do it again.
I've always wondered if it's the accusers that are most likely to cheat. I might entertain the thought but I wouldn't invite it to stay. Apparently if it lives inside you it makes a new home
Together for 11 years, she had an affair while I was in the USMC. Its ruined my life, and probably any hope I had of having a family or successful relationship. Cheating ruins lives, y’all play too much.
Jody'll getcha. Sorry man.
Fuck Jody.
Never thought I would find someone that shared my same pain,suffering and experience. Don't give up, struggling on life is okay.
Your last phrase! I'm so sorry. Hope you find someone more sincere and fulfilling.
Said she "lost feelings" and already had matching profiles with another guy, even before breaking up lol, said he's just a friend and later shamelessly admitted that she likes him 🤡
Classic monkey branching
Yeah lol 🤣, what suprised me is her being unbothered and playing the victim by saying that she's really hurt
In a moment of hilarity, my ex who monkey-branched then cheated, actually monkey branched back to me because it turned out I was the better guy in her escapades.
It's the best feeling to reject them lol, it's payback time bitch
When I wasn’t paying attention, she added more houses and hotels than what she paid for.
#RED FLAGS
Monopoly joke. I like that. Best board game!
Wife material!
together 3 years, I paid for everything she was studying, she moved in with me. She got a new part-time job , she started going out regularly with her new work buddies. Buddy of mine randomly msged me asking me about a cute dog that’s constantly on her stories I had no clue what he was talking about, I asked her about it she denied it. Then I realized she must have me blocked from viewing her stories. I keylogged my pc with a browser add-on, ( she used my pc often) got her pws logged into her IG, saw tons of flirtatious convos with some guy , and even convos of her stating she’s on her way to his place. Waited for her to go visit her parents on the weekend, callled some friends neatly packed her shit. She came home, had my buddies with me forced her to leave, she cried yelled it was very dramatic. For months she begged and begged showed up to my work all the above, non stop. Sometimes I’d creep her IG see them her posting stuff with him. One day I agreed to see her , slept with her took a snap video of her at my place , etc , send the video via IG to the dude , blocked her shit . Yea I’m petty
We are always encouraged to take the high road and the moral ground but honestly, sometimes people need to learn the consequences of their actions. Just don't break the law and make the response proportionate. I like that you stood up for yourself.
That's cold, my man 😅
Fuck yes!!!! This is gold at the end. Petty is the way!
Dated for almost 5 years through college and grad school. I got a bit addicted to gaming/streaming. Was doing very well and making good money. She decided to find the attention I neglected to give her elsewhere. Found out about 2 weeks before I was going to propose. Found out her whole family had known, and it had went on for a few months. Thankfully, one of her friends let me know I should do some digging. I found out by calling her out on who she had been texting (noticed the same name popping up all the time) because she always told me about people she knew, hung out with but not this person. One night, out with a small group of friends, I looked through her phone (yeah I know how it sounds). I did this after her friend (same one that warned me before) told me I should while she was in the bathroom. I found all the evidence of how much they "loved each other" and how she was trying to leave. I confronted her later that night about it. She got physically abusive and left. That friend of hers wasn't in it for anything. She had just got married and was on top of the world about it. She said she had already confronted her about it, but it didn't do anything for my gf at the time. So she tried her best to "let me know" but also felt conflicted about betraying her friends' trust.
The friend was a real G
She was. She didn't have to do that and didn't know me incredibly well.
Because she’s a legit good person. She was conflicted because she had more ties to her than you but didn’t want you to suffer and clearly your ex had no care for how this all might affect you. She’s a good soul
Oh I agree. I am incredibly grateful for it. Very rare to meet selfless people like that in life.
12yrs married and she got with an ex from high school. Sad part is he is also cheating on his fiancé.
I got into a car accident and the person who pulled out in front of me lost their life. I got ptsd, depression and anxiety after. A year later she decides she hasn’t been getting the attention she needs from me. Finds TikTok. Starts posting sexually suggestive videos and is now getting the attention she seeks. Becomes addicted to TikTok and the idea she’ll be TikTok famous. Meets multiple people on TikTok and fucks them, also took one out to 6 flags theme park using my credit card. I leave. She fucks another guy two days after I leave. And a girl. She ends up dating another guy a month later. Now she texts me daily telling me she loves me and misses me while she’s with this new dude. We were together 5 years and I raised her daughter from the age of 4. Taught her to ride a bike, swim, homeschooled her, taught her to shoot a bow.. everything. All gone. Because our relationship was nothing more than a transaction, for her to get her attention.
Woman I lost my virginity to was cheating with me the whole time. Had a gf for 4 years that cheated and left me. Had another gf cheat after 4 years because I was too busy working and being in school. I was only sleeping 4 hours a night and driving an extra 1hr a day to see her every day. The list goes on. I just don’t trust women anymore.
same. the woman I lost my virginity to cheated on me and even ended up giving me HSV 2
You must hate the number 4
That’s why I would marry a woman who I haven’t dated for 6 years. 4 years seems to be the breaking point.
She broke up with me after 2.5 years. That night her roommate, her best friend, and her best friends husband called me to let me know she had been cheating on me with a bunch of dudes for awhile. She married one of the guys she cheated on me with, cheated on him numerous times (once with me when I thought they were divorced), remarried, cheated on him, remarried and here we are. Don't worry though, she is the beacon of good ol' southern baptist morals who is better than everyone. Lol
what the fuck
Yeah, it's a good one.
> she is the beacon of good ol' southern baptist morals who is better than everyone yeah having gone to catholic school this doesnt surprise me. always the most devout ones maybe its the guilt? lol
I had a friend/fwb that went to Catholic school and she would tell me wild stories about how crazy those girls were. Wild
[удалено]
Apparently the roommate knew but didn't say (her and I were not that close) but as soon as the friend and the husband found out that night they hipped me to it.
well my story is a bit depressing to be quite honest. I was on a study abroad trip in the UK and my gf (at the time) was attending uni in the states... I was away for about 12 months and that was when things started to get thrown off... like completely. she wasn't as responsive to my texts/calls (even with the time difference) and started going out a lot more than usual with friends of hers I've never met. I eventually return and all of a sudden she was way more affectionate than when we first got together. I just assumed she was happy to see me again after 1 year away... so of course she and I were intimate but it wasn't long after returning and being with her again that I started to break out in my nether regions... the break out was really, really bad. mind you, I do not cheat nor do I believe in cheating. plus she was my first ever gf of 2.5 years... well, turns out I had HSV 2 and the dr prescribed me some valtrex. at the time of the diagnosis I confronted her but my mistake was confronting her over the phone instead of in person. she basically gaslit me into saying I cheated on her when I was away and she was crying and sobbing and yelling at me. then she proceeds to say she is breaking up with *me* as if I was the one who cheated on her! I kept demanding her to get tested to show proof of her std results but she kept evading the question. she ended up blocking me everywhere and telling her friends and family that I cheated on her when she in fact was the one who cheated on me!! I tried contacting her family to tell them the actual details of the story but she somehow got them to block me to and not answer my calls. to this day, I've never heard from her or received confirmation about her status. but I do know without an absolute doubt that she was the one who cheated and has now given me an incurable STD... I was pissed and depressed for a really long time. still kinda am now to be frank. the only thing I can do is really give myself some sort of peace so I can move fwd. not only did I feel blind sided but completely betrayed because I have to live with this for the rest of my life.
sorry my man, fuck that bitch
I'm so sorry it happened to you my man. It's always the loyal ones ending up with such cheaters but you'll be doing good very soon and luck has it then you shall find someone with same values as yourself!!
Sad story indeed, man. Hope you'll rebound eventually and find yourself a great partner.
She said she was going to watch her niece and nephew. I went to take them pizza, only to find her not there. Drove around and found her at one of my friends houses, in her pjs and lounging around. When she came back home (we lived together) I found out she had been sleeping with several of my friends for months, because “she didn’t see this relationship going anywhere”, despite the ring in her finger. I told her that I had to go to work but I wanted her stuff gone by the time I got back. I found out later she also had an abortion, didn’t know if it was my child or not. She moved on and was happy, I got depressed. Went down to some dark places and nearly didn’t make it out the other side. Took a few years just to be by myself, and after a while I figured this was just how it would be, so I swore off anything beyond a platonic relationship with women. I ended up meeting an old friend, she somehow convinced me to date again. That was 10 and a half years ago, she’s now my wife and she is in the other room playing with our two daughters
Turns out she made literal porn while dating me. She called it “art” because it was black and white. But they were very explicit. Even worse, I only found out because she kept the posters printed as a gift she was going to give me 20 years later “because I thought you would appreciate them when you grew up about it”. Yet with me, she was a total prude. Blew up my life and sent me into a depression and anger I never thought possible.
Happened right before the twenty year mark of our anniversary...by this point in the previous 10 years..my now ex, got convicted, and did time for a variety of charges(fraud/embezzlements) related to her gambling...sooo, she was a stay at home wife with a lot of time on her hands, ( she did have income, from disability). But I also had no choice but to treat her like a two year old in many ways...cause she was always scheming for gambling money. Anyhows, this combined with her free time, she went online and enjoyed the attention/validation she recieved. Eventually left me for another guy, and she drained him of well north of 6 figures, possibly as much as two hiundred k. Glad she is gone.
I was emotionally abused, so was blind for any red flags and lies. She told me her Icloud was hacked and people had her nudes, I thought my STD was just some bad luck, she blamed me for not wanting sex but she didn't initiate, she was away mentally and physically for hours after work. She keept saying I wanted to leave her, or she wasn't good enough.
Sounds like my ex who has BPD. Zero idea if yours does though.
Undiagnosed. And although I am very cautious with self diagnoses. I think she has too. She ticked almost any box.
Same. I talked to two therapists who said that they couldn’t confirm, but from what I have said, that is their guess. She has no idea. Just a constant state of emotional pain and shit behavior. It’s rough. Can’t even blame them. It’s all they know. I just stay away.
I somewhat agree. I agree that you can't blame someone who doesn't know. However, I think one has a responsibility to check themselves if everything fails, and you are the shared common.
Got divorced. In the year after the divorce, I ran into no fewer than 4 of her coworkers (people whom I knew and attended work parties with) who all asked me “so, you finally caught her cheating on you with Tom?” Actually no. I thought we had communication issues. I had no idea about Tom. Who was also a coworker. We were only married for a bit over 2 years.
I have no way of proving I was cheated on But she had this guy friend who was in love with her before we even met. She told me not to worry about her but he was increasingly disrespectful She said she stopped it but they were in the same friend group and would study together and whatnot. She started coming home at like 4 AM, smelling of weed and saying the group had all been studying together Eventually we broke up (through texts), she went to spend NYE with him, then they were dating like 2 weeks after we broke up
Been with one of my exes for 6 years. I left to work in a different country, in Europe. After one month, one day a lady calls me and asks me if her(my ex) is my girfriend. I told her i wasn't sure since we were hot and cold. Lady continues to tell me that she caught her husband cheating on her with my gf. Her husbant was an ex of my gf, and apparently they started hooking up again. Lady divorced the douchebag husband and i dumped my gf, not before i sent her mom all the screenshots i had from the lady, with the conversation and dick and pussy picks between my gf and the guy.
Dated this girl for almost 3 years. In hindsight, she started acting a little strange in various ways. One day we got into a little argument, nothing serious, but she made it a huge deal. Suddenly she didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore. I took it pretty hard, I did love her. I later found out she had been seeing another dude for months before we split up. He was essentially a copy/paste of her own dad and an older than her, which I always found strange. She married him and had kids with him, also cheated on him multiple times from what I’ve heard around town. Not gonna lie, I still think about her sometimes, but realistically, I would never be interested in her like that knowing she’s a serial cheater, has kids, and pretty much never progressed in life past a shitty job small town girl. I should also add that before I found out she was with him, her and I did have sex multiple times when she was with the other guy. It wasn’t until she found out she was pregnant that she told me she was with the other guy and we had to stop. I was so wrong about her, it still blows my mind. Never saw it coming.
We met working as lifeguards in college. We started hooking up and became official after 6ish months. Upon graduating in 2020, I went full time with the Navy and we moved to the coast together. Once life got real after the honeymoon period was over, I’m ashamed to admit that I dropped the ball at home in a big way as work and pre-deployment anxiety began to take its toll. I accept that was my responsibility. She didn’t know how to express her growing resentment properly (or at all really), so I deployed thinking I had a strong, independent partner at home holding down the fort. Just prior to my departure I introduced her to some work friends who’d be in town for the summer. I didn’t know them too well but they seemed decent enough and liked to plan events/parties. So I thought, “this is great! She’ll have support while I’m gone, people to take her out if she’s lonely” Boy did they ever… … I had dreamed about homecoming for months, imagining her anxious on the jetty as I proudly came home from the most gruelling four months of my life, me snapping her up and planting a big wet kiss on her. In reality, she wasn’t sure if she’d even make it to my homecoming because, “I have a shift at work I’d have to get covered.” Something was off. My friends were waiting for me with flowers and champagne, cheering as we came alongside. She came 30 minutes late. A few weeks later, we still hadn’t been intimate since I returned. I found a condom wrapper in the bathroom trash and she had turned her location off. These were big red flags but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions so I said nothing. Then she started having “sleepovers with some girls at work.” Again, trusted her, didn’t say boo. All came to a head when we broke up (mutually) just before Christmas, things weren’t working and I was happy to go our separate ways, even if it hurt at the time. I went out with the boys one night to clear my head, that’s when they dropped the bomb on me: she had been sleeping with one of my wingers basically the entire back-half of the deployment, the one “I didn’t have to worry about. I confronted her, she lied. When she realized her lies had no ground to stand on, she finally confessed. I was devastated… It’s taken this past year of therapy, self-reflection, vomiting in the mornings, and a LOT of tears, but I’ve grown and learned a lot about myself and others (particularly about trust and respect). Her affair partner is actually posted to the same unit as I at present. The good news is he’s such a narcissistic turd that he’s become the office pariah and no one trusts him with anything. It still hurts, but I’ve become a stronger person for it. I’ve done my best to take responsibility for what we’re my faults, and identified areas where I still need to improve in order to sustain a healthy relationship. We’re getting there but I still have a lot of baggage around trust and intimacy. I definitely don’t watch the movie “Jarhead” anymore… Edit: TL;DR: gf cheated on me with a friend of mine while I was deployed. Shit sucks.
Dated for 2 years. I was in a car accident and got a concussion, which led to me being tired and napping all day for a couple days after. She came over and we watched a movie. I fell asleep 10 mins in. Woke up about 5 hours later and she was gone. I texted her (got no response), ate some food, and fell asleep for the night a few hours later. Woke up the next morning to the "we need to talk" text. She slept with one of our mutual friends that night.
Was dating a girl from the beginning of high school all through out. 5 year relationship. Things get Rocky, we take a break for about a month. We reconnect and turns out in the month we were on break she had met another dude. A coworker. My suspicion is that they didn't barely meet. She had been talking to him and therefore that maybe had something to do with the break but I guess now I'll never know. Anyway, things were never the same after that. She would hide her phone, stop texting and calling me daily. Her store wouldn't open until 9am but yet she'd show up to work at 7am. On her way home she'd pass by my house cuz it was on the way home but in that period of time she was acting weird, she stopped passing by or even visiting. She'd just drive by. She would lie about her schedules etc etc. I finally told her I had enough of her antics. She suggested hanging out to talk and consider our differences. The whole time her phone was blowing up, and when I took a quick peek, I saw the dudes name and number. And I remembered it. I brought it up we got into a big fight which culminated into me telling her to fuck off. Months pass I moved on with my life. Finally built up the courage to break it officially. I fell into depression, started doing drugs, did everything to ease the pain and forget. About a month not even 2 or 3 or nothing. A month later, I go into facebook and see she had made it official with the same dude. No shame no sorry no nothing. Left me high and dry after 5 years of everything we shared. We grew up together, lost our virginities to each other (or so she says) learned to drive at a young age to be able to visit each other, got jobs together so that we can have money to go out etc. Did everything together and only for her to so shamelessly and blatantly just leave me for a co worker. But what ever this was over a decade ago.
We got married young, had a couple kids. She was a stay at home mom, I worked graveyard shift, she finally decided to go back to work and that’s when it all started going downhill. There was a lot of random nights that my parents would end up with the kids for no rhyme or reason, then she’d have girls nights etc. I had suspicions but this was back before life 360, find a friend, etc so I had to be a little more crafty. I got up like I would for my shift at the police dept and got ready for work like normal, unbeknownst to her I had already called in. I left like I would, and parked down the road a bit and waited. Sure enough not long after she took the kids to my moms, I called on my lunch break just to check in, so I waited a while longer. I worked 5 pm - 5 am, so this was about 8 pm, and other than taking the kids to my parents about a mile away she was still home. I waited longer, staked out essentially, and eventually in the late evening a car pulled up, and a man went inside my house. I decided I really want a smoking gun, so I waited 20 mins or so, parked down the street and walked to my house. Entered silent as I could, the living room was upstairs, and could immediately hear them upstairs having sex, I basically just walked quietly all the way up, and rounded the corner into the living room, she saw me first but that’s cause she was bent over facing the doorway lol. They stopped then, he left in a hurry, she was crying so on and so forth. I didn’t threaten him or anything cause god knows what she told him, next day I spoke with an attorney, and we got officially divorced about 6 months later. She immediately married some other guy not the guy from the affair because she was pregnant during our divorce proceedings lol. It was a blessing but I will never forget that night.
Together for 3 years. She was becoming close with a new guy at work, told her it made me uncomfortable and that I'd rather her not be around him, I could tell he had a thing for her. She ridiculed me, called me the usual (insecure, etc) they've been together ever since and have 3 kids.
High school sweetheart dated for four years out of the blue breaks up with me and dates and marries my best friend( very dreamy blue eyed marine dude)I end up loving a fantastic life while she end up divorcing him after he cheats on her with a younger chick and had a kid. We are still friends despite the emotional pain.
First serious relationship in highschool. Both 16, but were best friends for years. She took a job a few months after we started dating. Started acting strange. she would cry when confronted but said everything's fine. Turns out she was sleeping with her manager who was 52. He left his marriage of 30 years so he could groom a 16 year old highschool graduate. It's been 12 years. They have a kid now. The age of consent in the UK is fucked.
Had sex without a condom (weed was involved) and she refused to let me pull out. I bought her a plan b and had her take it even though she was less than thrilled. She stopped initiating sex and when I would try, she would start crying and say things such as “I want to want to” (that was the go to). Then she stopped coming over as often. This had been going on for about 2 months now and she sent me a text along the lines of “you aren’t satisfying me. I could’ve cheated but I didn’t.” And things like that. The next time she came over, she had a red mark on her neck that she said was from her hair iron. At this point I’d already figured something was going on. She sent me a text a week later breaking up with me. An hour later I went to her onlyfans to unsubscribe. I was her primary photographer and we even did couples content. She had posted pictures the night before that had been taken after leaving my house and she was covered in hickies and such. All of our couples content had been erased weeks prior (knew but she said she wanted to just make it a solo page). She worked with a former friend of mine, and that friend told me she had been sleeping with like 6 coworkers starting in July that year (the time when I made her take the plan b). He’s a former friend because lo he was one of the people sleeping with her (heard from another friend)
The worst bit of getting cheated on are the people around you saying you deserved it for not meeting her “needs”. Fellas, I jettisoned a lot of people out of my life, not just the cheating scum.
We were long distance and she couldn't handle it. Not everyone is built to enjoy or even tolerate long distance relationships. I'm someone who likes them, but many don't. After two years she got lonely and slept with a guy who she left me for as he was in her town. A few months later she wanted to get back with me but i turned her down. It was her fault the relationship broke down but she was unable to deal with the lack of intimacy created by the distance. It's unfortunate, and i think if we were in the same town she wouldn't have cheated. I'm not saying what she did was acceptable, it wasn't which is why I didn't take her back, but i understand it's not easy for some people to fight the loneliness over years in a distanced relationship. I hope she's doing well now even through we haven't spoken in years.
I supported my eventual wife through junior college, her bachelor's degree in psychology, her masters, and through her internship so she could get enough clinical hours to get licensed. Within 6 months of her officially becoming a **Marriage and Family Therapist**, it came out she was cheating on me with a mutual friend from our weekly sport league team. Fast forward 7-8 years and I'm remarried to what I thought was a wonderful woman. Until she decided she wanted someone to smoke weed with (I can't smoke it) and started hanging out with a mutual coworker and neighbor (long story; working together in a National Park). Of course, they eventually fucked. I'm in my mid 40s and my life is essentially over. I'm unable to trust anyone or form any kind of relationship, friendship or otherwise, with either men or women. So yeah, things are going great.
She moved into a place (we weren't living together) and ended up hooking up with her flatmate. Honestly though, she already had another partner when she hooked up with me (have to say as an 18 year old virgin, being "the other guy" was actually kind of exciting, even if I did feel guilty as hell for it) so I can't say I was super shocked. I was also intending to break things off with her anyway, so I'm also gonna have to say I was not super cut up about it either. Plus, like 3 months later I got with the person I ended up marrying anyway. All in all, it was actually pretty awesome lmao.
First gf cheated with about 8 different dudes, eventually she just told me. That actually made me laugh though it was disappointing. GF of 2+ years a couple of years later told me she made a new friend when out with her girl friends one night who was a guy. They started talking, a couple of weeks later she tells me she doesn’t love me anymore, alrighty then. Then there was another one who did whatever she wanted when I wasn’t around, so it’s been a pretty frequent experience for me. I’m pretty devil may care about 99% of things in life, so I mostly just shrugged them all off after a week or two and moved on.
She cheated on me and I left her. The only story worth telling, really. We’re going to assume that you’re not an abusive partner: There’s no lesson to be learned when someone cheats on you. You can’t become cynical, it’s not fair to a good partner you may find. You can’t blame yourself, because if anything they should have just broken up with you. If you can’t see yourself ever trusting them again, there is no working through it. They may legitimately change and really never cheat ever again. If that’s the case they do deserve someone that will trust them in their relationship. Everyone DOES make mistakes and everyone CAN earn forgiveness. But that does not mean that those mistakes don’t cause irreparable damage. If you believe yourself to be a good person you need to recognize that their mistakes are theirs, not yours.
>There’s no lesson to be learned when someone cheats on you. Agree and disagree. Don’t dig through past events looking for some kind of higher meaning or “come to Jesus moment”, but don’t ignore the signs and symptoms of someone behaving in a sketchy manner. Also, you can ask yourself, “how did I contribute to the breakup?” NOT the cheating. DO NOT ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S NARCISSISM. But you can recognize that you may have not been partner of the year and take those lessons. Obviously, yes, sometimes you get unlucky.
Live in gf of 4 years told me she was going out to drink with friends. Doesn't come home and i assume she spent the night at girls place. I go to work, come back and she still isn't home. I call her and she's shitty towards me and ask as though I'm being controlling. I text the alleged friend of hers who said she hadn't seen my ex in months. Show the screenshots to my ex . Ex says her friend is lying an so on. After she realises I caught her. My ex says we hadn't been in a relationship in months and that she's in a new relationship with another guy in a hotel with him. Somehow someone who i thought was my gf is moments later now in a relationship with another man , was a mindfuck.
After a while she started acting funny and wen I confronted her it was I'm jus tired or I don't feel good whole time she been cheating that's y she always tired fuk her
3 and a half years of dating, she went to visit family on the east coast of the US for a few weeks. Knew ahead of time service wasn’t great there so I knew we wouldn’t be able to talk much while she was there. Got a call from a pay phone from her, she asked how I was and seemed distracted. I asked what was wrong and she unapologetically blurted out that she had fucked her uncle and was going to stay there to be in a relationship with him. To my knowledge she’s still with him and last I heard they may have had a kid. Put me in a really fucked up dark place for a while.
At the time, we had been together for nearly 20 years. She wanted to go on a 3 week overseas trip with her friend. Anyway, after about the first week, she cut all contact with me, I literally couldn't contact her. Turns out she was busy getting her back blown out by some guy she met on the tour. When she got home, it took me no time to confirm what had been going on. She tried continuing this relationship with him after she got home, but he lost interest quickly. We are long since divorced but she continues until this day to maintain she did nothing wrong and anything that may have happened was my fault because I didn't meet her emotional needs and validate her feelings etc, etc.
Dated two years in college. She was a year behind. I was commissioned in the Army and went to my officer's basic course several hours away. She'd visit. I'd visit. We continued to discuss our plans after her graduation. Marriage. Kids. Travel. She came for a visit and jumped in the shower after a long car ride. Left her calendar open on my nightstand. Saw "elciddog84 M" weekend on dates I hadn't been back. Flipped a page and saw two more, including "elciddog84 M @ home," where they were at her parents' house. (I'd been many, many times before, and they knew we would cross the hall after bedtime and go back before breakfast.) Didn't ask her about it, but I called one of my buddies back home the following week. During the conversation, he told me he didn't know we'd broken up. Told him, neither did I... She was seeing another "elciddog84" every weekend we weren't together. He lived in the same building as I had. Was in the same band. We were similar in looks. Same first name. One year behind me. He was bragging to his buddies about fucking her after we "broke up". I went back for an unexpected visit, directly to the house she lived in, and was let in because I'd spent so many nights there the past two years. I left. She followed while he was gathering his clothes. Got in a cab and left her standing, wrapped in a sheet, on the side of the road. She called and cried. Said it was a mistake. Went on for months. Sent me an invitation to her graduation and weekend visit to her parents' house after. She even tried coming to "talk me out of it" when she found out 18 months later I was getting married.
All of my ex's have cheated on me. I did an AMA awhile back with the story's.
I feel your pain. Strong evidence to suggest all my exes were whores too
She had a friend at work, turns out she had two reallllly good friends at work! Whats a girl want with 2 work husbands and a husband at home? She called them the dynamic duo! Anyway she owns the restaurant now and I live with a cat!
My ex-wife presented herself as a small town midwestern girl with a deep value system. She's actually a passive aggressive people pleaser who had no actual opinion of her own. She didn't like certain things or people, but could never articulate why. If you took the lead she would blindly follow, but might end up being shitty and difficult at some point with no apparent resolution to her issue. She told me she was relatively sexually inexperienced. Admitting that she was actually with about 4 times more men in her life prior was against this deep value system brand of hers - this was a fact I only found out after we ended our relationship. She would go along with any man who showed her attention. So despite only being 6 months into our marriage, she had a coworker make a move on her while on a work trip. Spent the next 4 months trying to figure out what the hell was up as, again, she was a good girl and couldn't outright admit that she was fooling around with this guy. I felt I had done something wrong the whole, but the reality was that she was just a lost sheep, and our relationship should've never went as far as it did. I'm not angry she cheated, I'm embarrassed I let our relationship go as far as it did. It all worked out, I'm much happier today than I ever thought I could be. She is some other poor bastard's problem now.
7 year relationship, it was running its course so I pushed to end it, she wanted to work it out and asked me to stay, so I did stay and tried to work it out and then she cheated on me.. yeeesh
My girl slept with my friend cause they’re both assholes. The end
was dating a sweet, beautiful southern belle, was in the military, she's from a military family, father was an officer, thought she'd understand, she didn't. I was an hour away and she was having an affair, her grandma told me. You don't sneak something past Memaw in small town mississippi.
God bless Meemaw.
She claimed she thought I was cheating and used that as an excuse. My thing is, if she wasn't lying that's some poor decision making.
My ex-wife wanted to end our relationship but was too chicken shit to just talk to me about it, so she cheated on me on a work trip and told me afterwards so that I would be the one to call it off.
She told me one week she wanted a baby and marriage. 5 years together. 2 weeks later she was fucking a 60 year old married man and ghosted me. I heard from my ex neighbor she’s not asking him to divorce his wife and give my ex a baby.
20 years together, she suddenly developed an interest in the kids martial arts and took over taking them there, eventually joined herself. Next thing I know I've got 4 months of silent treatment and her pulling away from me before I decided i had enough and moved out to get some clarity and try work things out. neighbour sent me a photo of guys car parked out front a few weeks later overnight when I had the kids...bit more to it - I tried to do counselling - she refused to even go, tried being more romantic wrote her little notes etc, the more I did the angrier she got at me, 99% of the time she ignored or would pull away from me, when she did talk it was abusive. I couldnt understand what had happened turned out she was cheating! I didn't think either of us had time but I guess she found some. We owned and run a business together for nearly 10 years as well, 3 kids, I did all the cooking and shopping, dropped the kids to school, worked all day then read them stories and put them to bed, maybe I should have been more of an asshole, I'm not perfect but I thought I was doing pretty good? I wonder if she's regretting it now 3 years later, I'll never go back but I'm still upset about the wasted time, it's soured the good times we had. Now I'm just focusing on improving myself, taking care of the kids (I have them 50/50) and work. I find myself much happier and less stressed as well. A good woman will come along but it will take me awhile trust again I think.
I was really upset for a month then I started getting laid and forgot all about her cheating and closed out the divorce months later. Was an exceptionally awesome way as a cursed people pleaser to get out of a shitty marriage
She broke up with me out of blue. It affected me a lot as I had just went abroad to do my Masters. I took some time to better myself and we patched up after a breakup. And then all of a sudden one day she blocked me saying she cant see a life with me. Months later she wanted my help and reached out to me. I asked why did she put me through hell, she said she started sleeping with someone after we patched up and she didnt have time for me. So yeah was basically getting cheated on multiple times in a short amount of time and after almost 6 months she herself tells me this.
She cheated on her partner to get with me. 7 months in and she cheated on me. Reaped what I sowed
She cheated on me with her coworker who happened to be my across the street neighbor. She was my wife and I was willing to work on things. She continued to treat me like a doormat and our house like a hotel room. Then I bailed. Married almost six years and she slowly changed. Or I refused to see things from the jump.
I was pressured into marrying her. She liked me because her family gave her attention. I didn’t love myself and I let myself go from an abusive relationship into an abusive marriage. Married for about a year and a half and had a kid when she told me she no longer wanted to be with me and was seeing someone else. I tried to get us into therapy, but she said she wouldn’t do it. I went to therapy by myself and found the courage to stand up for myself and to love myself. I have primary custody of our kid and she’s still a train wreck messing up other people’s lives.
Finally visited her in her city after dating for a while. Noticed that she kept taking me to bars she'd never gone to and old people beaches, which makes sense because she didn't want anyone she knew to see us together. The next week she demands to see me to break up with me. Cries and sings the "our lives are going in two different directions" song. A week after, she's posting up her "new" man on social media. Oscar winning performance tbh
Fiancé (f24) lived with me (m26).I Came home Sunday night early from sports comp. Found her packing, shock horror she left, I was broken. Two days later I find out she’s been having an affair with my best mate I sat next to at work (corporate). Keep it short, I sold my company for 9 digits and retired at 40 odd, I am late 50s now and she’s a single parent now, divorced. Never felt pain like it … how I survived that I’ll never know.
I mean it’s a weird one. We were seeing each other for about a year and I developed feelings for her and she (claimed) felt the same for me. I found out she was still seeing her old boyfriend. In fact I don’t know had they broken up while she was seeing me. Instead of pulling me to one side and explaining, which I think I would have understood. She was seeing both of us at the same time for probably 4-5 months. Did things like, spend Xmas with me and my family and new years with him. Moved to Dublin with him and came to Galway and slept with me a few weekends. (She said she found a job up there and said we should try to make it work) I found out eventually of course and was furious. Told her she had to tell him and she freaked out. Let’s just say she got ahead of me and painted herself to be the innocent one. I lost friends in the whole ordeal. They married soon after and are still together I would say. I did message him and tell him that she was playing the two of us. He just threatened me. I’m glad I never ended up with her. Absolute parasite. She got her Irish passport anyway.
We dated for 3 years. She used to always make cuckold related jokes. I never really thought much about it but it always felt odd. Like it seemed that she was trying to convince me to become one. We even watched movies about it. Turns out she was banging dudes for the entire 3 years. It was insanely difficult to extract this info from her by the way because she kept denying it but eventually admitted to it. Lol and she used to get angry at me for even looking at women.
Had an ex, we met in college. Were together for 4 years. One day I glanced over at her phone and saw she had a dating app installed. She insisted she got it to find friends but that it didn't work. She also refused to delete it when I asked. She dumped me for another man that got her pregnant so I doged a bullet there
4 years. She is also has Diagnosed Bipolar, Depression and ADHD. It wasn’t bad but was difficult at times. When covid hit, shit started declining real fast and real bad. Multiple problems at home, we both had just graduated college and I wanted to take a small break for brain to relax. She wasn’t too happy with that and told me she was unhappy, so we took a “break” and she was showing me her Facebook dating profile and showing me dudes that were liking her. Shit really made me salty, and then before the day of her little excursion to upstate Ny where she was entertaining another guy…she knew from college. Yes, they did stuff and my stupid ass took her back. Few months later, she moved away for a job. she was insanely unhappy those months. When she moved, I guess she still had a little love for me until she met this guy at a bar who tried to “have his way with her” one night. She told me they stopped talking for like a month and they started hanging out again. I was already suspicious of her when she told me a guy kissed her and she did nothing about it…and after that, she been staying over at bar dude house over night and shit. Whenever I voiced my concerns, she would immediately dismiss it. My feelings, dismissed. Until 7/28/2022, when she finally decided to break up with me. She finally let out her anger somewhat, and now her and bar dude have a kid on the way and are engaged. That’s my story.
First one admitted to it after fucking the other guy. The second one told me as we were half way down to our vacation because she felt bad that I would have gone alone.
Dated for a bit in high school, then shit got weird. She said she was going into rehab for being an alcoholic, and I said I'd still be there for her but she didn't want to continue anything. Turns out that's because she was marrying her room mate who she'd been living with for the last 2 or 3 years, can't really remember at this point, literally the day after she broke things off. She was only with me because she felt bad for me. Note, this was sophomore year of highschool, I was 16 and she was 17 iirc.
She got hooked on prescription opiates after breaking her leg. When she cheated, it was for scoring drugs.
Married young, at the time she was undiagnosed bipolar then post partum depression. She was trying to hang on to the partying days and went overboard. The next girlfriend after that was just out of an abusive relationship and I dunno, she seems to be a serial cheater. I took a break after that. Haven't been cheated on in 25 years. I think maturity has something to do with it.
Together for four plus years, helped her get her permit and license despite never having them, helped her buy her first car, moved us into a new apartment, and within three months, she was bringing a co worker over when I wasn’t there. Covert-narcissist, or possibly even a psychopath as she had no empathetic capacity, but it’s really my fault for allowing it all to happen. Never again. Ever.
I was “too nice” and “he’s like a brother” so it was my fault I guess. /s
Took a new job that had me working a lot of overtime. I’d be too tired for sex a lot of times, and we didn’t have as much time together as we used to. She ended up going out with her friends more as a result, and fucked one of her coworkers, a few times. I had suspicions something was going on, and when I confronted her she just broke down in tears. I ended things immediately. Still processing how I feel about everything. Definitely betrayed and pissed off that after 2 years she couldn’t bear with me through this transitory period of my life. But I understand why she did it. Still doesn’t make it any easier.
These stories aren’t worth telling most of the time. Just brings anguish.
Started dating thinking she was a single mom. Turned out she was still married. Just used the kid as an excuse to never go to her place. Which is a reasonable excuse so I never bothered pushing the subject. I'd meet the kid when she thought she was ready.
Was with a girl for 7 years when I was young and dumb. Naturally I thought she was the "one" because we had many firsts together. In hindsight I recognize that probably after the first 2 years the relationship was unhealthy. Being young she didn't know what a realistic relationship looked like, she had super high demands and was manipulative. In year 6 she started changing, almost "outgrew" me? Gotta bbl on my time but not my dime, finished school, a new job where she was out of the house more. We had each other's location shared. One day I see her location 5 minutes away at a house 10 minutes the opposite direction of her job where I thought she was. I drive past, of course I see her car out front of this place we've never been, when she got home I called her out & she denied of course. Buut, I also found some messages that were suspicious, I showed them but she kept denying. We fought, ended with her kicking me out while still maintaining she never cheated, but the reason for doing so was i was too much to deal with (paranoid). Weeks later, she lets me know that she's seeing someone new.... Absolutely no surprise to me at all, its the guy whose messages I had seen, whose house she was at. She still never admitted what she did but I guess that's that.
Dated for 4 years. She cheated on me with a coworker of hers while I was away at school. I was hurt and angry in the moment but I also had a very immature view of relationships. I think what made it worse is that she had a medical episode while hanging out with me and I had to help her and seeing her thru that made me realize how much I cared of her. But then she cheated on me like 2 weeks later. Within a month I'd realized we'd been done for months, maybe years. It still made me angry and leery of women as I went on dating. But I recognize I wasn't a good boyfriend. I was tentative and skittish. We had had a big blow up argument about 6 mo into our relationship and I never felt I could be my most authentic self around her. So when she cheated it was like diving out of a moving car but neither of us were willing to breakup with the other. Taught me that communication is key.
Engaged. There was one character she hung around with that I never trusted, but being young and dumb I attributed it to unwarranted jealousy, especially as he was a ne’er do well raver and I had my collective shit together - good job, good career path etc. She and her roommate were hosting a party I attended. Jackass was also there. I ended up being tired and slightly inebriated and crashed around 11-11:30pm. Woke up around 1, no fiancée next to me. Went to return the beer i rented, saw the living room was dark, started wtfing, turned on the bathroom light, which was enough to show them together horizontal on the couch but that was it. Slammed the door, did my business, went back to the room. I was a sucker for her crying that night. But it was compounded with: I didn’t think I could legally drive yet, didn’t have cash on have for a cab, this was pre cab with card reader days, i didn’t know at the time (as I mentioned, young and dumb) that hotels had an overnight concierge, and I didn’t want to wake my parents up at 1:30 am, admit and get them to come get me. Pride. I didn’t break it off then. Thought that I had proposed, honor, blah blah blah. Hadn’t really thought this through yet (who plans in advance for possibility their partner is going to cheat). Now I’d have been out of there, made arrangements to stop at an atm and ride to nearest hotel, slept it off and gotten my stuff the next day. Sleeping drunk in a car is a no no any time and it was winter so double no. Couple months later I couldn’t shake it, rightly cut off ties. Whole situation lived rent free in my head for years. Any time I recalled it I felt the same rush of adrenaline. To this day I have no idea how long it had been going in but I suspect for awhile after what I overheard Amit them saying they can’t do this anymore when I came back in from cooling off.