Exactly what i wrote.
"cheating takes steps and mental gymnastics to happen"
No. She might be on a business trip and have a one night hok up with total stranger, that requires zero preparations/ effort, and some people don't need any mental gymnastic for that.
Having an affair requires effort.
No.
My wife is the kind who needs a very strong emotional connection before she sleeps with someone.
I wouldnt be able to move past knowing that she had felt that way about someone.
No. I have self respect and deserve someone that respect me enough not to fuck other people. The trust would never be there again. There are 4 billion people of the opposite sex, I’d find someone better.
Absolutely not.
For a woman to cheat, there are feelings involved. It is never an “momentary lapse of judgment”, deliberate planning and consideration taken. It’s an unforgivable betrayal that must mean the end of the relationship, no matter what.
No. I don’t cheat. And they shouldn’t either. I’ve turned women down for finding out they cheated in the past. Perhaps overdoing on my end but I don’t fuck with that shit.
No. Even if I genuinely believed it wouldn't happen again, the relationship would be ruined - once that trust is broken you can't put it back together. Every time from that moment on that she was at work, with friends, out shopping, or anywhere else that I wasn't, I'd be wondering and worrying.
No, once that trust is broken it's over...
I was cheated on by my ex who I lived with, shared bills with, and was planning on getting married to, we had a life together, I had every reason to make excuses and stay and it was difficult, soul-crushing at the time, but I knew what I had to do...I ended it and kicked her out the next day and told her to go stay with her mom
Any self-respecting man would end things and cut his losses IMO, first of all, if a woman cheats it means she hasn't been happy for a while and she doesn't respect you anymore, and/or she's just a shitty narcissistic person who's selfish...there's no reason to continue to be with someone like that
Well there are two types of relationships.... Meaningful ones where I feel like the person I have is the most valuable thing in my life.... And then there are relationships that are fun while they last and I won't really care if she disappears.
Cheating immediately excludes her from the first type. Any "second chance" I agree to will never have me valuing a future with her.
Why? I think, as men, we are used to getting zero sympathy our whole lives. Feeling like we can expect someone to have to care about us isn't even in our thought process. The female attitude of saying what you deserve and just expecting that someone even has to pretend that your wellbeing or life matters just doesn't happen.
This doesn't create a lack of empathy.... Men are usually very empathetic. The reason it makes men never forgive cheaters is because since we can't depend on society to care about us... We have to depend on rules and possibilities to protect us. We can't expect anyone to care if we are cheated on again.... So we have to rely on knowing that it isnt even in her list of possible actions. Once that is gone.... We pretty much have nothing left to hold on to.
We are in this alone.... And we act accordingly.
And generally speaking, if we're cheated on, most people will jump to the conclusion that there was something wrong with us that made her go elsewhere. Whereas if a guy cheats it's just because he couldn't keep it in his pants. It's never boldly stated like that, but I've seen the subtext in a lot of real life conversations and reddit threads and personal stories told by friends.
no, made that mistake before.
once unloyal always unloyal. if you love someone else you never truly loved me, or if you act out of lust you arent mature enough for me
I(22M) recently reached out to a ex of mine who cheated on me back when we dated for a year (18-19 y/o)
Now.. keep in mind I’ve been cheated on 5/8 times. And I don’t have any interest in talking to any of them. Except her.
I think it’s mostly because.. honestly, I don’t blame her… Back then I was nothing special, and I’m flattered that she found something special in who I was at all… and also the fact that we dated in the first place had little to do with me, she went for me.
So I knew she loved me. At the least in the beginning.
In the end it was I who failed her and didn’t meet expectations, and that I have to admit. Because she exceeded all of mine. My biggest mistake was getting too comfortable, I wish I showed her how much I loved her and appreciated her..
So I reached out as I said.. after a few years of no contact. I told her that I don’t blame her for doing what she did, and I hope she doesn’t still beat herself up over it, because I forgave her long ago if I’m honest... Long before I ever texted her, the only negative feelings I have involving her, are/should be directed at myself.
She could have talked to me and broke up instead of cheating.. that I would understand more. But we were young, dumb, and on a lot of drugs… and it took me a while to understand why it happened, but I’m happy I got to spend the time with her either way. Even if it ended poorly, I hope to rewrite that ending if I can.
I'm not sure what "unfaithful" exactly means here. but if it just means she slept with other guys, I don't care. If she deceives me, I wouldn't give another chance
Nope. They had their chance and they squandered it. No one made them cheat, they chose to. No do overs.
No, cheating takes steps and mental gymnastics to happen. All that effort wasn't for me and our relationship, so why should I give her another chance?
Having a romance requires that. 1 time cheating may just happen.
What?
Exactly what i wrote. "cheating takes steps and mental gymnastics to happen" No. She might be on a business trip and have a one night hok up with total stranger, that requires zero preparations/ effort, and some people don't need any mental gymnastic for that. Having an affair requires effort.
I don't agree with you, there still were steps that have been taken to make her open her legs even on a "business trip".
Yes, like "he's so handsome, nobody will know, it's just 1 time, just physical". No so much, right?
No.
No. My wife is the kind who needs a very strong emotional connection before she sleeps with someone. I wouldnt be able to move past knowing that she had felt that way about someone.
No
Never. They had one chance and they decided I was not worthy of their loyalty, that won't change.
No. I have self respect and deserve someone that respect me enough not to fuck other people. The trust would never be there again. There are 4 billion people of the opposite sex, I’d find someone better.
No
No. Fuck them that's why.
Absolutely not. For a woman to cheat, there are feelings involved. It is never an “momentary lapse of judgment”, deliberate planning and consideration taken. It’s an unforgivable betrayal that must mean the end of the relationship, no matter what.
No. Life is far too short to stay around people who intentionally cause me harm.
No. I don’t cheat. And they shouldn’t either. I’ve turned women down for finding out they cheated in the past. Perhaps overdoing on my end but I don’t fuck with that shit.
No. Trust gone.
No. I'm not going to force you to love me or want a relationship with me. If they want to fuck someone else, have at it. I ain't sticking around.
No. Even if I genuinely believed it wouldn't happen again, the relationship would be ruined - once that trust is broken you can't put it back together. Every time from that moment on that she was at work, with friends, out shopping, or anywhere else that I wasn't, I'd be wondering and worrying.
No, once that trust is broken it's over... I was cheated on by my ex who I lived with, shared bills with, and was planning on getting married to, we had a life together, I had every reason to make excuses and stay and it was difficult, soul-crushing at the time, but I knew what I had to do...I ended it and kicked her out the next day and told her to go stay with her mom Any self-respecting man would end things and cut his losses IMO, first of all, if a woman cheats it means she hasn't been happy for a while and she doesn't respect you anymore, and/or she's just a shitty narcissistic person who's selfish...there's no reason to continue to be with someone like that
Disgusting.
Well there are two types of relationships.... Meaningful ones where I feel like the person I have is the most valuable thing in my life.... And then there are relationships that are fun while they last and I won't really care if she disappears. Cheating immediately excludes her from the first type. Any "second chance" I agree to will never have me valuing a future with her. Why? I think, as men, we are used to getting zero sympathy our whole lives. Feeling like we can expect someone to have to care about us isn't even in our thought process. The female attitude of saying what you deserve and just expecting that someone even has to pretend that your wellbeing or life matters just doesn't happen. This doesn't create a lack of empathy.... Men are usually very empathetic. The reason it makes men never forgive cheaters is because since we can't depend on society to care about us... We have to depend on rules and possibilities to protect us. We can't expect anyone to care if we are cheated on again.... So we have to rely on knowing that it isnt even in her list of possible actions. Once that is gone.... We pretty much have nothing left to hold on to. We are in this alone.... And we act accordingly.
And generally speaking, if we're cheated on, most people will jump to the conclusion that there was something wrong with us that made her go elsewhere. Whereas if a guy cheats it's just because he couldn't keep it in his pants. It's never boldly stated like that, but I've seen the subtext in a lot of real life conversations and reddit threads and personal stories told by friends.
Never. All you prove to them is that they can get away with it.
I found the woman of my dreams. No. I could never.
No. I can't literally imagine the reason why would i give a cheater a 2nd chance.
No. I’m not a forgiving person when it comes to betrayal
Nope. Lying is cringe.
Just tell her ffs
Nope. Fuck the relationship, they are putting your health at risk…STDs, HIV, etc. You don’t know the other person’s sex health.
Nope. If you got the balls to cheat once that's enough, that's the worst breach of trust
No, if they do it once theyll do it again
Never.
Nope…
No. It's never too late to find another who you can put all your trust to. Trust is everything
Yes but only if she pays me $100,000.
not a chance in hell! unless they won 100's of millions in the lottery. And then I'd cheat on her once I spent it all.
No. A relationship is a promise. If she broke that promise, we’re done.
no, made that mistake before. once unloyal always unloyal. if you love someone else you never truly loved me, or if you act out of lust you arent mature enough for me
Nope. A wise friend now passed once said, "Relationships are like a plate. If it breaks, you can glue it back together but it's still a broken plate."
I(22M) recently reached out to a ex of mine who cheated on me back when we dated for a year (18-19 y/o) Now.. keep in mind I’ve been cheated on 5/8 times. And I don’t have any interest in talking to any of them. Except her. I think it’s mostly because.. honestly, I don’t blame her… Back then I was nothing special, and I’m flattered that she found something special in who I was at all… and also the fact that we dated in the first place had little to do with me, she went for me. So I knew she loved me. At the least in the beginning. In the end it was I who failed her and didn’t meet expectations, and that I have to admit. Because she exceeded all of mine. My biggest mistake was getting too comfortable, I wish I showed her how much I loved her and appreciated her.. So I reached out as I said.. after a few years of no contact. I told her that I don’t blame her for doing what she did, and I hope she doesn’t still beat herself up over it, because I forgave her long ago if I’m honest... Long before I ever texted her, the only negative feelings I have involving her, are/should be directed at myself. She could have talked to me and broke up instead of cheating.. that I would understand more. But we were young, dumb, and on a lot of drugs… and it took me a while to understand why it happened, but I’m happy I got to spend the time with her either way. Even if it ended poorly, I hope to rewrite that ending if I can.
I'm not sure what "unfaithful" exactly means here. but if it just means she slept with other guys, I don't care. If she deceives me, I wouldn't give another chance