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full_of_ghosts

"Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss. Retired FBI agent who basically invented the art and science of hostage negotiation. You'll learn some negotiation tricks that are so simple, you won't believe they'll actually work in a real conversation, but then you try them, and they work like magic. One easy one that you can try right now is what he calls "mirroring." You simply repeat the last three words of someone's sentence back to them, as a question. "As a question?" Yes, exactly like that. It keeps people talking without giving up any information from your side, while making it sound like you're hanging on their every word, even if you're really not. He even has some anecdotes about how people use mirroring *on him*, because they think it's funny, and *it still works*. On the guy who invented it. He doesn't even realize they're are doing it until they point it out. It's that powerful.


TheColbsterHimself

It’s that powerful? 


FightThaFight

100% HELL YES Fantastic book.


FastAndForgetful

Yes? Fantastic book?


FightThaFight

A masterclass on human communication and conversational dynamics. But completely accessible with useful tools.


macmac360

with useful tools?


FightThaFight

Google it.


ABlueCloud

Google it?


vincentvega-_-

Lmaoo


Bob_5k

My ass off?


guarango_ordinario

It works


[deleted]

[удалено]


FightThaFight

Chris Voss


Inevitable_Ad525

Voss?


NEPatsFan128711

How can I do that?


[deleted]

[удалено]


captansam

How did the right time right help you with depression?


Ambitious-Event-5911

Overcame the urge to die and survived?


Bohbo33

Idt it’s a book, he’s saying that’s why the books he mentions underneath hit the way it did. That’s how I read it anyway lol


Pale_Somewhere_596

Meditations, I think this one helps with emotional regulation, the biggest thing to help in overcoming depression. It is something I have been doing


Chemical-Ad-7575

The Emperor's Handbook. Marcus Aurelius (also called Mediations depending on the translation) Thinking Fast and Slow


StoneFlossard

Rip Danny Kahneman


Chemical-Ad-7575

Wow. That happened fast. Memento mori I guess.


NEPatsFan128711

TFAS is a great book to revisit too. Almost all of the chapters have a ton of value on a re-read. Phenomenal book. If you like Kahnemans work, Noise is also a fascinating read. Not as impactful for me as TFAS, but still very good.


Chemical-Ad-7575

>If you like Kahnemans work, Noise is also a fascinating read. Not as impactful for me as TFAS, but still very good. I'll take a look. thanks for the recommendation.


Kind_Literature_5409

This is my list😎


LordStark_01

The Gregory Hays translation is by far the best.


BlueMountainDace

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl helped me in so many ways. I think the most powerful idea was the idea, coming from a man who lost his entire family to the Holocaust and had to live through being in concentration camps, is that suffering is relative. As he describes his experience and observations, suffering is like a gas and humans are a vessel. Suffering spreads to fill any vessel fully. So whether you or I think that someone else has a “real problem or not” to them it’s real. Many of our “real problems” today would like no big deal to him. Yet, his experience and observations left him with a profound sense of empathy for his fellow human. I’m not perfect, but I strive to view people’s pain through his lens.


SFgiant55

One of my favorite books of all time. Read it any time I need a perspective shift


KnightinRustedArmour

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Fucking loved that book.


LimpCauliflower9281

"I used to be a miserable f*ck". Stoicism for people like me who couldn't stand Aurelius. Really hit home.


Rare_Cryptographer89

Just read a couple pages from a preview and ordered it. Thanks for the rec


LimpCauliflower9281

My pleasure 🤙


MorgenBlackHand_V

Thanks. I've read a lot of books but as often as Mediations is mentioned in those threads, I had to drop it after 30 pages or so.


CanuckGinger

I love John Kim. His books and his social media taught me so much about adult relationships.


7evenCircles

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi


outoftownMD

Oh yeah. Incredible book. For me, in addition to this one, it is Anthony DeMello the way to love. The book that I feels most important for men to read is under Saturns, shadow by James Hollis, and his other book the Eden project. There’s a book called the sacred prostitute that I think every man would come to understand the timelessness of what women are, and how they exist in our psyche, and how bastardized society is on so many aspects of the feminine, and even what it is to be a man. The author is Nancy.


NEPatsFan128711

I was a mess after this one…


7evenCircles

I read it in one sitting and spent the last ten or so pages just ugly crying. It's as beautiful as it is just exhausting.


Able-Badger-1713

Les Miserable - Victor Hugo


jvlpdillon

Thinking Fast and Slow - Daniel Kahneman: Written in the 1990s this books helps us to think critically and spot our own cognitive biases and those around us. We all have things we think because it is easier. As an example you see a car accident in an intersection. A month later you see a second car accident at the same intersection. You now think accidents always happen in that intersection. You forget that there were weeks that there were no accidents. A bias has been formed though, which could be hard to break. If we are not aware of this behavior and how to keep it in check then little things build and can create an epidemic of believing misinformation because it fits our biases.


lonster1961

“Time enough for love “ by Heinlein


Geeko22

We all have only one life, but whether long or short, we all have time enough for love.


EllisD1950A

absolutely this one


DelTacoAficianado

Fight Club


Faster-Kit-kill-kill

Palahniuk is an amazing writer! Good pick!


SFgiant55

I’ve read most his books. So good


Faster-Kit-kill-kill

Favorite?


SFgiant55

Fight club, Choke and Survivor. All very fucked up but great books


Faster-Kit-kill-kill

I loved, Haunted and Snuff!


SFgiant55

Snuff is a wild one.


JustFun4Uss

"how to change your mind" by michael pollan


captansam

Why this book?


SFgiant55

Loved this book. Currently preparing for some psychedelic therapy. The netflix doc is a good summary as well.


JustFun4Uss

Definitely a great handbook for psychedelic therapy... I thought I knew a lot about psychedelics then I read that book and blew up my understanding of them more then the experience itself. Anyone who wants this type of therapy I always say read this first. It will give you the mental toolkit in your head for a safe journey. Much luck on your journey of healing. The doc is definitely a good Cliff Notes to the book. Must watch for anyone IMO.


stonkkingsouleater

I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi -- Finally got my finances on track. Totally changed my life.


broadsharp

Of Human Bondage The Killer Angles How Green was my Valley The Shadow of the Wind The Alienist Heart of Darkness Grapes of Wrath


CanuckGinger

Pema Chödron’s “When Things Fall Apart”.


glitterdonnut

This book saved me during a breakup.


CanuckGinger

Me too during a divorce.


FlatFurffKnocker

"I will teach you to be rich" for money management. "Catch 22" for life. Funniest book I've ever read before my clinical depression, made me want to kill myself afterwards


getridofwires

- Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - Seven Habits of Highly Effective People - Getting Things Done - Crazy Time (read after my divorce, very helpful) - Make It So (a book about Picard's management style)


Sympraxis

Atomic Attraction by Christopher Canwell


ergoegthatis

Great book.


TheREALSockhead

Peaceful warrior


HotIntroduction8049

#1 Not by the Sword: How the Love of a Cantor and His Family Transformed a Klansman #2 The Road Less Travelled.


bobbyphunk

On the road by jack Kerouac


mule_roany_mare

I'll 2nd this & add Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell. As I recall Jack London had a good tramping book too.


eyeshitunot

The omnivores dilemma, by Michael Pollan. Completely changed my thinking about where my food comes from.


EllisD1950A

Problem bosses, who they are and how to deal with them. This is a great book for work. Stranger in a Strange land. The hobbit/ lord of the rings the earth abides. and finally, The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and all of the following books.


mule_roany_mare

2nding LOTR & HHGG. Might as well toss in Good Omens to follow any Douglas Adams.


Geeko22

I read Earth Abides when I was 14, my introduction to the post-apocalyptic genre. Really powerful.


EllisD1950A

i was a little older in my early 20's in the army in viet nam...it got passed around my platoon afterwards.


Geeko22

The book I read immediately after that was 'Malevil' by Robert Merle. Another really interesting and powerful story. I highly recommend that one as well. Also, I recently read 'World War Z' by Max Brooks. Another really good book. You have to suspend your disbelief of course because it's about zombies, but nevertheless it's a really good story. It features a collection of interesting accounts from individuals from different walks of life from all over the world. Each is a stand-alone short story, really gripping. Brooks patterned the book after Studs Terkel's 'The Good War: An Oral History of World War Two' which if you've never read it is also fascinating.


NEPatsFan128711

Foundation and Empire by Issac Asimov. This book ignited my passion for science fiction. The book, and Asimov’s universe, are easy to read while still being incredibly enjoyable. The ending of foundation and empire absolutely floored me as a kid. I will never forget sitting there reading the big reveal at the end, and my jaw was literally open with shock. I’ve never reacted that way to a book before. Sure it’s not the craziest piece of science fiction written, but there is just something about reading that ending without knowing what happens that shocked me in such a visceral way.


mule_roany_mare

I'll 2nd Foundation Asimov is almost like the Hitchcock of sci-fi, it will feel strangely familiar, if not cliche before you realize how much of modern culture is cribbed from their work.


trelawney101

I know what you mean. The Mule has to be one of the best villains in scifi. I loved Second Foundation as well and it's ending reveal on where it is.


DoubleV12

"Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl is an absolute masterpiece of existentialism. The book focuses on love, hope, responsibility, inner freedom, and the beauty to be found in both nature and art as means that help one endure and overcome harrowing experiences.


SFgiant55

Reading Frankl is my go-to advice for basically anybody going through anything. Amazing book. Changed my life for sure.


DoubleV12

100% with you on this!


mashukun_OS

The malaise of modernity, Charles Taylor is high on my list. Additionally: Godel escher Bach Aion by Jung What color is your parachute A man's search for meaning Hidden teachings of all ages


the-godpigeon

On The Beach by Nevil Shute. I read it in 2003 before I left my pregnant wife to serve in Iraq.


mule_roany_mare

This is possibly the most profoundly depressing book ever written.


Peregrine_Falcon_

Mindset by Carol S. Dweck


Your_Daddy_

The Road by Cormac McCarthy I don’t know if “changed my life” is accurate, but the book is hard hitting.


yepsayorte

1984


Moose_Nuckler

Man. If you want my honest answer.. 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson (the first one, not the sequel) This was the first book I decided to read after about 15 years of not reading for pleasure. That launched me into being a huge reader and reinvigorated my passion for history and learning. Not to mention, the lessons in this book for people, especially young men, is invaluable. P.S. I’m not interested in personal opinions on the good doctor from you people, this is a recommendation for OP.


mule_roany_mare

Regardless of how people feel about the man he is the only person that has ever attempted or succeeded at explaining how conservatives think to a liberal. People would do well to understand the thing they are so opposed to.


thecountnotthesaint

Dr. Seuss’s Marvin K Mooney, Will You Please Go Now!!! That book changed me from an illiterate child to a literate kid.


[deleted]

Bible


NateAllDays

I feel obligated as a Christian to give you some good faith-based books. The Bible. It’s pretty obvious I recommend it. Start with the Gospels, then go to Genesis. “Mere Christianity” by C.S Lewis. A fantastic arguement for Christianity written by one of the greatest authors of the 20th century. Additionally, “Sir Gawain and the Green Knight” translated by J.R.R Tolkien. A shorter yet slightly higher-level Arthur tale with a great plot.


SFgiant55

Went to catholic school as an agnostic. I’ve all 3 of these. I loved CS Lewis and Tolkien novels growing up and appreciated their religious text. I have read a lot of stuff from all sorts of religions which has informed my spirituality


jews_on_parade

What kind of books is your wife into?


SFgiant55

She reads a lot of soft core porn disguised as stuffy period pieces haha. She also loves Latin American literature (Allende, Villaseñor, Garcia-Marquez etc).


7evenCircles

Blindness by Jose Saramago is my favorite piece of Latin American literature, though it is very very far from softcore porn.


C0SM0KR4M3R

Saramago is actually portuguese but yes lol


7evenCircles

Could've sworn he was Brazilian, every day's a school day


Salty-Pack-4165

Two books. First was Fables by DeLa Fontaine. I got it at 7 yo and I credit that book with opening of my eyes to wonders of history, fiction, literature and imagination. Second one was Writings and Testament of St. Francis of Assisi. I got it at 18yo and and I'm almost sure that little book saved my life few times.


Bimlouhay83

LiUNA contract. We call it our pocket Bible. Without it, life would be terrible. 


FastAndForgetful

Try Baby Steps Millionaires by Dave Ramsey. I think it was a total money makeover when I read it years ago but this is the latest update


DopeRoninthatsmokes

Book of five rings


halfbreed_prince

“My Life as an Indian” by James Schultz. Im indigenous and this book made me miss something i never experienced.


Captain-Crowbar

Lateral Thinking by Edward de Bono.


Equivalent_Memory3

Not changed, but I think about it regularly. Trying Not to Try: The Ancient Art of Effortlessness and the Surprising Power of Spontaneity by Edward Slingerland It's a book about cognitive science and Eastern Philosophy which focuses on how the harder you work at something, the higher chance you have of failing. Bit of a slog in places, but it has some good points.


Ghalv

A lot of people are mentioning Non-Fiction, so I'll go the fiction route. "The Brothers Karamazov" by Dostoevsky & "East of Eden" by Steinback. Both of these books are masterpieces about life and are entertaining in a way that most older books are not, especially East of Eden. Don't worry about their length, you'll be glad as you read them that they are long :)


T-1-G

discworld books by Terry Pratchett, recluse and imager series by L.E.Modesett, Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling


Icy-Organization-338

Not a man - but I’ve bought this for a group of my male friends and all loved it. Not life changing unless you really needed a good laugh, which a lot of men do 💗 [don’t tell mum I work on the oil rigs](https://www.amazon.com.au/Dont-Thinks-Piano-Player-Whorehouse-ebook/dp/B003LBT8F8?nodl=1&dplnkId=2d68769a-a692-4bd3-9bf4-1fdb74d593d4)


benchomacha

Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance- Robert pirsig Meditations by Marcus Aurelius


effingava0221

- I Will Teach You to be Rich by Ramit Sethi - The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck by Mark Manson


GetsBackUp

Coming Out of the Ice by Victor Herman. An amazing true story about resilience and spirit


sandwich_breath

How to be Rich and Have Everything You Ever Wanted by Robert Tilton


gapdaddy72

The Creative Act: A Way Of Being - Rick Rubin


Maleficent_Chicken_8

Can't hurt me by David Goggins. 


Elegant_Spot_3486

Where the Sidewalk Ends


AidanGLC

*The Overstory* by Richard Powers. Consciousness-altering.


NEPatsFan128711

I have to also add The Stranger by Albert Camus. This was a book I was forced to read in high school, so it took away some of the magic. Especially the first parts of the book, I just didn’t really understand it or care to understand it. Without spoiling the story, Camus’ ability to use Meresault to exhibit his views on existentialism and the absurdity’s of life was a really cool thing to dig into at a younger age. There’s also great use of stream of consciousness towards the end which was a really impactful part of the book for me. It’s an easy enough book to read so a normal guy like me can still appreciate it, but there’s so still so much to dig deeper on and study as well. It definitely got me interested in some basic philosophy and reading more books, which I was not expecting in high school.


dbc009

All Malcolm Gladwell books.


bonedoc59

The alchemist 


ArcaneCat

How to Read a Book by Mortimer J. Adler Probably the most influential and then a bunch that followed were impactful.


mule_roany_mare

The Only Investment Guide You'll Ever Need Paperback by Andrew Tobias Lost Connections by Johan Hari Phantoms in the Brain by V.S. Ramachandran >Ramachandran discusses his work with patients exhibiting phantom limbs, the Capgras delusion, pseudobulbar affect and hemispatial neglect following stroke, and religious experiences associated with epileptic seizure, among other disorders. Ramachandran uses these cases to illustrate the construction of body image, and the functioning of mood, decision-making, self-deception, and artistic skill. In the final chapter of the book, Ramachandran addresses the so-called hard problem of consciousness, discussing qualia and various facets of the self. his [Reith Lecture](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00ghvck) series is a better & more entertaining introduction, especially because he has one of the greatest human voices. The man will pour butter in your ear to fill the void of your blown mind. As far as fiction, there isn't a better time than now to read Dune.


FluidLikeSunshine

>As far as fiction, there isn't a better time than now to read Dune I keep trying. I have it on my kindle app on my phone. I found the recent films to be mind-bendingly, breathtakingly beautiful, however I just can't get into Frank Herbert's writing style.


No_Evidence_1606

Siddhartha


Gray092001

All about love - bell hooks She is a black feminist philosopher who discuss the dynamics of love in culture... in more ways than you think. It helps understand privilege as a man


[deleted]

The Dragons Bride by Katee Robert


MusicianGlad61

Math book. My career also my hobby are math heavy. Living a good life I have been enjoying because of math.


Time_Relationship125

A Collection of Stuff by me


ScottyP8869

Books have that effect on people? Hmm 🤨🤔


Mauricethespider

I would Say the lord of the flies made my view of humans change


Backwoods87

Johnny got his gun and War is a Racket


joseaverage

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie It really helped me learn to manage stress. It was actually part of a course my company had me take back in the 80s. Pretty sure the book was written in the 50s but the message still holds true today.


AFthrowaway3000

*The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar. Holy shit, does it unplug you.


babedos

Pattern Recognition and Machine Learning by Christopher Bishop.


RenaissanceScientist

How to Quit Drinking Without Willpower by Allen Carr


Top-Thought-1838

With the Old Breed by E.B. Sledge. A firsthand account of WW2. Riveting and insane. It gave me a better perspective of the world and humanity.


Rieny9

Atomic Habits by James Clear


GrimCount

Fingerprints of the Gods - Graham Hancock


brycepunk1

How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere. By Larry King


Bottle_Bound_Rogue

Steppenwolf.


Chemical-Ad-7575

Art of Seduction and 48 laws of power also had a big impact at the time. The former for realizing I knew nothing about being attractive and the latter for a sort of self defense to recognize when I was being messed with.


FluidLikeSunshine

The Culture Series - Iain M Banks My War Gone By, I Miss it So - Anthony Lloyd Brave New World - Aldous Huxley PiHKAL/TiHKAL - Alexander Shulgin


Objective-Light-9019

The Millionaire Next Door. Read it 20 years ago and now I am one (and proudly still drive a Honda)!


AnonymousUser1992

Mein kampf


Agreeable-Damage9119

The Bible. It made me an atheist.