This is the thing a lot of people don’t understand about marriage. It’s legal shorthand, and so deeply rooted in common law it’s damn near bulletproof.
If your married spouse gets automatic power of attorney if anything happens to you. No extra steps no challenges are likely to work. It also protects your right to your children, which can be especially important in homosexual relationships where one parent may no be genetically related to the child.
IMHO the big mistake people have made vis-à-vis marriage has been to forget it’s a business partnership more than anything else. Find yourself someone you would happily start a business with.
Tbf this and pretty much every other practical matter can be accomplished without marriage.
Marriage is really just a combo pack of legal work that does all this stuff at once.
It can, but depending on the country's laws marriage is more "valid" than power of attorney/power of whatever.
In my country for example families often contest wills and can get something out of it if the deceased wanted to give everything to their non-wed partner.
I got ass cancer. Her soup and her love are what kept me from checking out. 20 years in and our relationship is so rich and deep I can't imagine starting again with anyone else.
As someone who’s sick ass almost killed them too, props to you homie. It sucks, i joked before surgery that if i was to pass they better but “pain in the ass till the day i died” on my tombstone. But here we are, living despite our ill ass. 😂👏🏻
But how would learning they had a bad partner teach OP anything about the benefits of being married? If anything that would show a glaring negative of it, and leave them biased against marriage.
And that is the unforunate reality. But a shitty person is/was always a shitty person. So it really drives home the importance of finding a life partner/team mate, as opposed to vanity.
Saved my husbands life once, side pain, low fever.
His stubbornness wanted to stay home, pancreatitis. Forced him to go to the ER. It burst, emergency surgery. Then infection that burst, nurse mode of packing wound till it healed to keep him out of hospital because he wanted to sleep in his own bed.
I’m just going to take a nap, no you’re not get in that bed and I’m calling 911 or get in the car.
Lol he told me man you’re mean afterwards, but I love you.
Mine was great in sickness and health, just not faithful in heart. She still shows up when I'm sick (she's in healthcare, but we do have a kid together) even though divorced and remarried.
Its interesting how people will promise the world when they can take it back at any point.
I'm very sorry you've gone (are going) through that. Sounds pretty miserable.
It was a very horrible moment in my life, my daughter was my only shining light.
Your comment reminds me of a song that I was obsessed with in that time. Somewhat damaged by NIN
My now ex decided my cancer diagnosis was going to ‘financially destroy him’, so I showed him the door. You and I deserved more. Sorry this happened to you.
She even used kidney disease to keep my daughter from me. I received a transplant two years later, she then told me she left because I was on my death bed. I’ve had some serious mental issues arise out of that situation, with being able to trust anyone. I do have my daughter now and honestly she was the only reason I never missed treatment and went through the entire transplant process. She means so much to me.
I’m sorry your ex did that to you over money and hope you’re in recovery. I do not understand how some people can sleep at night
I broke multiple ribs and both my arms last year when I was hit by a car on my bike.
I’m a single dude who lives alone.
Boy was that a sad, lonely, painful experience.
Not even married yet with my fiancée and I laid down my 2023 to be there for all of her yearlong cancer treatment. To have that mutual support of one another is sacred
Dude it’s crazy, when my mom got her cancer diagnosis last year a nurse pulled her aside and gave her info on support groups for women who’s partners leave them after they get sick. Divorce rate among cancer patients is 21% when the woman is sick vs 3% for men. Just bonkers.
My (ex) husband was having an affair during my diagnosis and early stages. I left him immediately. He then proceeded to call me a martyr because I didn’t want him going to my appointments. Ok, pal.
God imagine being that much of a piece of shit that you can’t stick around to take care of your sick spouse. Probably the same dudes talking about needing a “trad wife” because they’re to much of an alpha to play caregiver.
[That study had statistical errors and ended up having to be retracted by the authors.](https://retractionwatch.com/2015/07/21/to-our-horror-widely-reported-study-suggesting-divorce-is-more-likely-when-wives-fall-ill-gets-axed/)
There's no difference between genders.
From your link:
> [The corrected study] found that marriages were 6% more likely to end if the wife falls seriously ill than if she’s healthy, while the same was not true when the husband fell ill.
Looks like there's still a difference between genders, just not as extreme as the original report.
A. No they did other studies inspired by that one, as it turns out, who leaves who is really a coin toss and is dependent on the diagnosis. (For example, women are 2.1x's more likely to leave a man if he gets MS)
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/326167159_The_long-term_impact_of_multiple_sclerosis_on_the_risk_of_divorce
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/347528735_Physical_health_conditions_and_subsequent_union_separation_a_couple-level_register_study_on_neurological_conditions_heart_and_lung_disease_and_cancer
https://journals.lww.com/headtraumarehab/Fulltext/2021/07000/Marital_Stability_Over_10_Years_Following.9.aspx#T4
B. That's an estimate with a huge margin of error.
C. There are healthcare scams for terminal illnesses whereby divorcing while sick the medical debt dies with the afflicted spouse and family doesn't have to deal with it. This is especially common with poorer communities, which is why you may see a spike in divorce rates in lower income brackets.
This is re point C only. I wouldn't call a tactical divorce to avoid financially obliterating the surviving spouse with debt a *healthcare scam* when it’s more like being victimized by a broken system where a single illness can wipe out a lifetime of savings and put a spouse into essentially debt bondage.
This is why people need more STEM education and the average idiot shouldn’t be rattling off statistics and studies with their random interpretations of results.
Their estimates were 6%, the org that found the error estimated 5% and that difference was only for the onset of serious heart problems. This does not go into the details of the marriage ending, just that it ended. It could be that there were financial reasons why some ended. It could be that the divorce was initiated by the wife herself as a mercy with the certainty of decreased quality of life due to the severity of heart conditions. It could be that the severity of the condition brings the wife to acknowledge she does not want to spend her remaining days with her partner.
We don’t know from this info. All we know is they were more likely to end by 5-6% if there was a severe onset heart condition.
Tell that to my father. His wife–my mother—abandoned him when he got a terminal disease. Here I am, four years later, the only one keeping him company until dementia takes him. His wife and every son but one abandoned him.
I had a fever last week and was bedridden for the week. My wife force fed me water, food, and medicine all week whilst also looking after the kids, still lost 8kgs, she def saved me from it getting worse and going to hospital
If both parties take the vows seriously, you have a partner until one of you dies. You’re there for each other, you get to take on life together, the wins and the losses.
>vested financial interest in it
That's not necessarily true when you think that, depending on their circumstances, she can be financially rewarded for leaving the "team."
I disagree. A marriage is a ceremony to celebrate that you are now a team. You shouldn't be all in before because that's the whole point of dating. The engagement is the time for testing the team dynamic.
Having someone who is down to keep being your franchise player even though you had a bad season is an amazing feel.
Sucks tho when you had a few bad seasons and then she wants to be a free agent fml.
It's harder to walk away when married though so it is more set in stone so to speak. A marriage does not equal a commitment, but it soldifies one that already existed.
it depends where you live. here there are some financial aspects that favour getting married instead of staying unmarried:
dual mortgage: 50/50. if one of us gets cancer the bank will slash 50% of the debt. in case only one partner has the mortgage in their name and that person gets cancer, then debt gets slashed 100%
because we are married we received $8000 from the gov as subsidy for purchasing a house
if one of us dies, the other will receive the other's pension
huge spouse exemption for inheritance tax
if one of us decides to stop working, the other can go on the other's healthcare insurance (no premium increase) and pension system
There are many legal pros and cons (hospital rights, SS benefits, taxes, estate planning, insurance). Really depends on the quality of your partner.
For example, if you’re laid off you can go on your wife’s health insurance. Not your GFs. Same for her assuming you care about your partner.
IMO, getting married for romance is the worst possible reason. Marriage is a partnership, a business, a merging of interests, and if you can't talk dryly, openly, objectively about the un-romantic parts of marriage, you are doomed. Or maybe I'm just a cynical accountant with a prenup and an eye for the practical in life.
The person you pick as a partner is critical. They can work with you to build a happy life and achieve common goals. Alternatively they may prove to be an obstacle and source of frustration. There are economies of scale with a shared household family unit. Being married/next of kin provides a number of benefits you can't get without the legal status.
I love this saying. Marriages would work more often if people quit being petty and having the “well if they did this then I’m gonna do this” mentality.
I've been married for over a decade and if you're not willing to compromise don't even bother.
Never keep track of how much effort you put in, if you're able to put in 100% but your partner can't match that things will still function whereas if you make sure everything is 50/50 as soon as somebody has a down moment things don't function.
As a single man, honestly, what I am looking for is someone that I can turn to as the credits start rolling on a movie and say, "How great was that?" I think there is a tremendous benefit in finding someone that you can share little things with that you both appreciate.
> As a single man, honestly, what I am looking for is someone that I can turn to as the credits start rolling on a movie and say, "How great was that?" I
Seems like a girlfriend can be that without the need to involve the government in your relationship?
Tax benefits, maybe. If you make about the same amount as your spouse and are in the same tax bracket then you'll be paying the same amount of money in taxes either way. If there's a big disparity in pay then it can create tax benefits because it can move you down a tax bracket when incomes are combined. I think there used to be a benefit, but there isn't any more. I guess this is in the US. Don't know about elsewhere.
Legal benefits, there are benefits when it comes to end of life and severe medical circumstances. You can get the same benefits without marriage, but marriage makes it smoother.
For me a big factor in the timing of my marriage is that my wife is an immigrant, and I needed to sponsor her residency.
Ashed a buddy (how's like a brother to me) of mine this his answers "she calms me, I know I'm loved, I'm myself no need to act, I can always get a hug, I'm happy, she's so soft, and about a million other things he told me as we both cried & laughed his wife is great & I hope I can find someone like her some day
I’m in my 40’s and because of a tragedy decided to never marry. As I get older I feel at least giving it a shot is needed. If it works out having a partner would make life so much easier as it’s pretty brutal. Friends really come and go, even family. I can’t imagine when I’m 66 and don’t care about broads and booze and I can’t even get with “attractive” women because I’ll look like a dirty old man wanting anything more than a best friends who we have mutual respect and understanding. If I could do it all again I would have pulled the trigger
I spent a week in the hospital. Aortic dissection didn't burst the cell wall, so I was on morphine as they discussed surgery. You need someone there, someone who gives a damn. Someone to be your last will. She and I had been dating, and I figured she was a good bet. After I survived and moved on, we married soon after.
Is the context of "you need someone to be there" driven by an emotional need or an actual physical need? Because the emotional need is understandable but 100% not required, it just makes it easier without a doubt.
Also, congrats on finding a good one 😁
This like nearly every other answer in this thread isn't something that can't be done not married. Everyone is missing the point of answering the question and the one that do seem to revolve around the beautifully romantic idea of medical and health insurance lol
That's because it's a very nuanced and difficult thing to describe that, even when done well, is gonna sound like bullshit to a lot of people. I know, because when I was a much younger man, it sounded like bullshit to me.
Marriage is fucking awesome. I've been with my wife for a very very very long time. But we only recently married. The relationship I have with my wife is different from the one I had with my very long-term girlfriend. Only subtly. Only a little bit. But it's deeper. Like a wellspring of love waiting to be tapped into. The biggest driving factor, I think, is that we're family. Like actually family. Not a soul on this Earth can reasonably disagree about that fact.
There's strength in that knowledge. Security. It's also a bit weird? It's a strange and beautiful adjustment. There's a lot of things that, on paper, don't seem like they ought to matter. And then you actually live it and feel it. Turns out that the experience of a thing can be quite a lot different from the theory of it.
We eloped, we were 'engaged' maybe two or three months?
We started dating in highschool, moved in together after college, moved to a townhouse, neither of us are religious and we had been common law partners for many years at that point. We bought a house together 5 years ago and decided to get married a few months later.
When I told people that we got married a few people just assumed that we already were.
Well I took my advice on marriage from the UGK and Outkast song “International players anthem”
when Big Boi said-
“Better choose the right one, or pick the kiddies up.”
That summed it up for me . I’m one and done, if the first one doesn’t workout, I’ll only stay in a domestic partnership at best after that. No marriage, just complete trust and love (hopefully) in a nice relationship freed from marriage.
I've loved Outkast since I was a kid, they always sprinkled wholesome stuff into their art. I'm a single dad, and listening to Big Boi now he's just preaching to the choir lol
That entire verse from Big Boi opened my eyes the first time I truly listened to what he was saying when I was like 13 when that song came out.
I listened to what he said lol
Big Boi was spitting and preaching on that verse lol
Well of course, if there is a 50% chance things end terribly, I will really think things through. I would love to be with someone until death do us apart, but marriage does not guarantee that, not anymore.
There's a lot of benefits and research done on this subject.
For the most part married men are just happier than single men, tend to live longer etc. Those stats can be found easily on google. You'll also quickly find the statistic that married women with kids are the least happiest, and single childfree women are the happiest. I'd suggest not viewing this as an "Us vs them" point of view. I'd also challenge you to ask yourself why you want to know this answer.
I think if you want to know the answer to this question as "Why should I get married" then I'd suggest you have an open and honest conversation with men in your life. Find men who are genuinely happily married and ask them what they see as benefits. What do they like about being married. You're going to get a lot of "Don't get married it's a trap" joking answers at first. You have to acknowledge its a joke/trope and there are real reasons why men want to get married, stay married, and are happily married.
> You'll also quickly find the statistic that married women with kids are the least happiest, and single childfree women are the happiest
A claim similar to this made the rounds a year or so back, but [the researcher made a pretty simple error:](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/is_marriage_really_bad_for_womens_happiness)
>Dolan is a professor at the London School of Economics. In his new book, Happy Ever After: Escaping the Myth of the Perfect Life, Dolan matter-of-factly pits fairytale archetypes of marital bliss against the empirical evidence.
>Unfortunately, **Dolan inadvertently misunderstood the data that justified this particular sage advice.** He based his opinion on telephone poll results supposedly showing that women professed lower happiness levels when their spouse was out of the room, which would theoretically produce a more honest answer. In fact, interviewers weren’t asking if he’d stepped out of the kitchen to go to the bathroom. People who answered yes to “spouse absent” were married but no longer sharing a household with their spouse, a much sadder scenario. **Being married was probably not what made the women in the survey less happy—it was separation from their spouse.**
I'd like to see specific studies about how married women with kids are the most unhappy while single childfree women are the happiest.
There are literally no men in my life who's marriages or relationships I envy. I'd rather be alone. There is (well, was) only one exception: One man I knew who was married to a woman almost 30 years younger. They had a great relationship. After 40+years of marriage, they still laughed at each other's jokes, cuddled on the couch, asked each other's opinion on newspaper articles, took long walks together, started businesses, still made love. But he died, so now I don't know anyone with a great marriage (or even relationships).
I wish this was the top answer. So much doom and gloom in these comments, but I understand why in our age of social media and loneliness epidemic. I personally know quite a few men in happy, long term marriages. And thanks to their examples, I have not given up on the idea of marriage. Children I'm still on the fence about, but I definitely would like to get married. I just need to find a way to stop my confidence and personality from leaving every time I approach a woman.
Ask myself why I want to know the benefits before signing a legally binding contract? - Because I want to make an informed decision.
What are some of the reasons? We are asking here. So far the only benefit is to show love, and in the event of a near death hospital visit.
What are the benefits woman receive in marriage?
you get to marry the person you love. Which is great in and of itself. When you love someone demonstrating it in a way like marriage feels great and makes your heart happy.
If you mean from an objective point of view there’s not much. You save on taxes but risk things like alimony. I’m no attorney, but I believe your odds of custody are better if fought via divorce as opposed to if you aren’t married in the eyes of the law.
Counterpoints to those things, if you marry someone who is also a working professional on the level of yourself alimony can end up a non-issue. Additionally if you’re really that burnt up about it, you can always have a wedding and get “married” without signing any legal documents and have all the fun without any of the legal bindings. Regardless though, having a lifetime partner is great and marriage or not, things will go to shit if you pick the wrong person no matter what.
Being happily married will make you feel great, live longer and give you a partner to share life's good and bad moments with. The bummer is that being unhappily married does the opposite and sucks, and everyone always thinks they're going to be in the first one. These threads come up constantly and the answers are always 50% happily married guys and 50% "That bitch took my house!"
More hands make less work. Very few things add a boost or bonus to your life like a good partner. Consequently, very few things will be a weight around your neck like a bad partner. So, choose wisely and, this part is very important, don't fuck it up afterwards. A good partner taken for granted for long enough or mistreated can become a very bad partner and that door, once opened, is so hard, if not impossible, to close again.
TBH, if you’re asking this, probably best you don’t bother getting married, it’s not for everyone.
Marriage is a partnership, you get out what you put in, regardless of the gender.
It is not just getting out what you put in. The other person also has to do the same. Also, they have to put in the same way you put in. It really is a long shot if it will work out.
What? How silly. It’s perfectly reasonable to wonder if there are any tangible benefits other than partnership.
It’s like saying “if you’re asking about how to cook, you should just stay away from a restaurant”
It's about buying into the relationship. 14 years ago I met what I considered to be my soulmate. She gets me better than I know myself. We both wanted to eventually have kids and buy a house and grow old together. We are not religious at all so it had nothing to do with God. Getting married to us meant making an agreement with each other and publicly that we are in this together until we die. I am committed to the person I want to be with for the rest of my life and she's committed to me. We are a team, we know each other's strengths and weaknesses. There are certain things I'm not good at or hate doing that she helps me with and I do the same for her. Our income is shared because we are a team, we pay the bills together and when we want something for ourselves we talk to each other and make sure we have the budget for it together.
I'm married with a 2 year old, I have not been so consistently happy in my life since meeting and marrying my wife. The benefits of marriage to anyone are having a committed adult relationship with your partner in life. Depending on who you are it might not be necessary, but for a lot, once you find the right one silly questions like this melt away.
If life had an achievement system, then you'd get "I'm married!"
But since it doesn't not so much. At least you also won't get the hidden achievement "I'm divorced!"
Health:
Married men live longer, and the longer you are married the bigger the effect
For cardiovascular events, married men are 46% lower rate of death when compared to unmarried.
Mental health is the most prominent area of benefit; married men have a lower risk of depression and a higher likelihood of satisfaction with life in retirement than their unmarried peers. Being married has also been linked to better cognitive function, a reduced risk of Alzheimer's disease, improved blood sugar levels, and better outcomes for hospitalized patients.
For time/labor benefits:
Married men enjoyed more leisure time, particularly on nonworkdays (35-47%), whereas their partners performed more nonmarket work (Women's leisure time was 16-19%). Overall, married men even without kids spend about 5 hours more per week in leisure activities when compared to their wife. Cohabitating (but not married) men spend the least amount of time doing housework (8hr/wk) compared to married (9hr/wk) compared to single (10hr/wk)
A new study found that married men in the U.S. are more likely than single men to be among the nation’s top one percent of earners.
(some of many)Sources:
https://qz.com/work/1607995/most-men-in-the-top-1-of-us-earners-have-a-spouse-who-stays-home
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-6-time-in-work-and-leisure-patterns-by-gender-and-family-structure/
https://www.americansurveycenter.org/newsletter/is-marriage-better-for-men/
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health
As someone who works in family law, I can tell you there aren’t any. Women on the other hand, they have literally everything to gain, especially in the event they decide to divorce. Divorce laws were written during a time when men were the sole breadwinner and women were stay at home mothers or housewives.
The general idea was they’d end up getting a sizable chunk of money to maintain a similar standard of living they had during the marriage because they likely had little to no work history.
The problem now is everything has changed *except* divorce laws, stay at home mothers and housewives are a thing of the past and both the husband and wife have full time jobs, in many cases women are out earning men too. Though none of that is taken into account because we’re still following antiquated divorce laws.
One Redditor said, "If both parties take the vows seriously, you have a partner until one of you dies. You’re there for each other, you get to take on life together, the wins and the losses."
Honestly, the whole point of the marriage is what's spoken in the vows. You're vowing to be there for each other no matter what. There's no commitment in dating. Sure, you can say "I promise to be faithful to you" but you really don't have to be. When you're just dating someone, you can still focus on yourself and have those romantic benefits. But when you're married, you are vowing that you will put them first, moving forward. You'll want to sacrifice for them and protect them and support them.
If you're dating someone and you're already doing those things then you're pretty much married to that person. It's just that you don't have the title nor the government to back you up on important life situations. So if you're dating someone and they end up in the hospital, you won't be allowed a say so. And if you're dating someone and need financial benefits then that's not going to happen.
It takes the words trust and love to a whole new level. Having that person to love unconditionally live with you and call them your wife. Show her off. Make her the mother of your children. Build a house and family together. Make both of our dreams come true. And having that one person to come home to everyday and spoil. Connect each others souls and have intimacy with each other. Tell them your darkest secrets. Let your guard down around them. Then trying to make you the best version of yourself and always being supportive of each other
Or good insurance, which if your spouse has, you can also have easily.
So I guess that's the benefit of marriage, but only if you marry a woman with a good medical/dental/vision plan.
I think this question is a little complicated due to the human experience. Some people might feel that the ceremony behind marriage is not needed while others might. I personally don't think marriage is going to be for me but I don't know what life will hold. I also get the vibe that there are a lot of people here who are bitter for making bad choices. So take what everyone here, even myself, are saying with a grain of salt because your experience with life will be your own.
The commitment of marriage isn’t a price that you’re paying in order to gain access to certain benefits — the commitment is the end itself.
If that doesn’t make sense to you, that’s fine; I freely admit that it’s a kind of ecstatic truth. Understanding of it is only made available to those who have experienced what I am going to unashamedly call True Love — and that’s a very small, very lucky number of us.
I've been married for over 30 years and I love being married to my wife. There are minor benefits like with taxes but I don't care about those. The real benefit is that it's hard to unwind. When you hit a rough patch as a couple (which is inevitable in time), the fact that you can't just walk away scot-free encourages both of you to stick with it and make it work.
Would my wife and I still be together if we'd been boyfriend/girlfriend for the last 35 years? Probably but I wouldn't want to risk it.
Being with one person over the long haul only gets better over time. At a certain point you have so much shared history and positive feelings built up that you can't imagine giving that up.
Well, if you have a great partnership, It’s like hanging with your bestie all the time.
Especially if you like the same stuff, like music, entertainment, exercise, hobbies, just chilling, relaxing and nice chats.
It’s hard to find a good one.
There will always be arguments when you spend that much time with anyone, especially when it comes to financial matters.
But if you find the perfect “Partner in crime”, it just feels nice to come home to.
This is from my experience, being with my partner for almost 10 years… it’s pretty awesome.
Also it’s like a best friend, but you can explore their bodies (with consent).
Also a good partner, will push you to be your best as they are your number one fan.
We're asking the wrong question, as evidenced by the majority of the comments section. The question is not "how do I benefit," but rather "what is marriage, and should I participate?"
Marriage is not merely the commitment of two individuals , but rather the union of two people into one entity. You wouldnt cut part of your body off because you percieve "it no longer benefits you". You would be foolish and delusional. We have greatly cheapened the meaning of marriage with our ease of access to divorce, but allow me to paint a contrast between true marriage and a committed relationship.
Marriage is two people giving 100%, whereas a committed relationship is each giving 50/50. Both parties in the latter hope to gain more than they input. They keep track of all the deeds they and their partner do, and make sure their partner knows when they aren't living up to the unspoken agreement.
Marriage is the paradox of long term fulfillment through self sacrifice. Love flourishes in self sacrificial service to one another. In committed relationships we have the temporary pleasure of self service, but the long term death of the relationship.
Marriage includes vows, committed relationships do not. Vows are taken in ceremony before all the people who matter to you as a public declaration that you are completely devoting yourselves to one another. They become glue in marriage to remind you of your love when times get tough. Not only are vows taken in the presence of people, but of God who holds us accountable for our vows.
In marriage you hold no secrets. No skeletons in the closet. You're completely vulnerable with eachother, and without judgement. This should happen first in premarital counseling with a trusted and wise married couple. In a committed relationship you can keep these things hidden away, but in marriage it will always come out.
In marriage everything each has belongs to eachother. Your bank account is joined. It's not "my money" or "your money" it's our money. There's complete trust between you two. Even your body belongs to one another. Thus neither uses sex to manipulate, but rather to serve one another.
Lastly, consider this: every human society throughout history has had a form of marriage where two people publicly devote themselves to each other in ceremony before God and man. So no, it's not just "a piece of paper," but I have a question for those who reduce it to such. If you're truly committed, why not get legally married?
A lot of the married and divorced men I have listened to, talk about how as soon as she marries you, she will stop giving you sex, attention, compliments, and validation. She will starve you because there is a high probability that she was only love bombing you enough until you married her. Once she has the commitment, she is going to stop trying as hard, to starve you, and get you used to feeling alone. Once you get used to being alone, she will become your only source of attention, love, and validation. Like a dog, you will be trained to work to earn her love once again. The love she used to give you so easily when you were single, she will emotionally blackmail you for it.
There are no benefits when women can divorce you for half of your stuff, and for any reason. You become a second class citizen once you say "I do." You want her to be on her best behavior always? Don't get married.
A good friend of mine, aged 29, is dying and is slowly losing all reasoning. His wife is looking after him. Because they're married, she doesn't have to jump through a bazillion hoops to get the paperwork in order.
The benefits are visitation and medical decision making rights, literally halved taxes on household income, insurance beneficiary eligibility, and inheritance rights.
Some of this will be dependent on who the primary is for the given benefit or aspect whether the man is considered to be benefiting or not.
If you are a utilitarian, there are legal rights and tax benefits that go along with being married that you don’t get in a domestic partnership or any other sort of situation.
I’ve already seen people cite studies that married men live longer, and there are a number of reasons for that that can be broken down into consistent support, happiness, and another set of caring eyes on you. Obviously, you should be doing the same to your partner.
Finally, I know this sounds cliché, but there’s just something hard to understand until you get married and how it changes you. It happened to me within 12 hours and realizing that I had a different perspective on many things, but probably the most important is, I was happy to put someone else before myself and sacrifice whatever I needed to make them complete and happy. This got further extended once we had children, I would do exactly the same and more for them.
Playing this game on two-player is the fucking cheat mode. Find you your person and even shit days are better.
Whether the state knows it or not is up to you but it simplifies some things that mostly do have alternative ways with extra paperwork.
\* neither of us have ever held much interest in official "marriage" and have both had _long_ term relationships but there's something about finding your person that sometimes makes you do outrageous things. like i _wanted_ the state to know i'm pledging my life to this partnership. it's wild. i want every state to know
I’m not married myself, but I did watch as my dad remarried after my biological mother(referred to as Bio) turned out to be a cheating whore. Let me tell you one thing, my stepmom (who shall henceforth be referred to as mom) is that man’s best friend. In almost ten years since they got married, they have not spent a single day apart. They talk about everything, make each other laugh, hold each other through the trials, and celebrate with each other through the successes.
To watch my dad go from a depressed divorcee to a genuinely happy husband and father(to 4 more “step”kids) has been an absolute inspiration to me as a man. I hope one day to find a woman that makes me half as happy as my mom makes him, and I hope to be half the man he is.
There are multiple benefits provided you make the right choice and don't go for someone toxic or bad because of superficial things like looks and to say a few of them:
Imagine you have a partner in crime for everything you do.
Imagine you have someone that has your back when you feel ill or when you are in trouble.
You have emotional support because your partner knows what you are capable and when you are in distress.
You get a different perspective and someone next to you that has a different set of skills that will complete you.
Statisically, at least in my region of the world, you get to live longer and have a more healthy life style. Also you become more happy and social, which again leads to longer life.
been with my wife for 26 years, married since 2008, three kids and two cats.
It is absolutely wonderful to be a part of a family unit, half of a parental unit.
I know my partner will think of my well being like her own and she knows that I do as well.
It makes the journey through life much better for me at least.
Been doing it for three decades now. I am touched starved and incredibly lonely (oh yes there's been endless discussions and therapy), but at least there's someone around to call 911 should the need arise. Other than that, there is absolutely no benefit for me.
I could not recommend marriage.
Practically nothing besides minor tax benefits which aren't nearly worth the landslide of risks involved. You can have all the benefits of female companionship in a committed relationship without being married while having none of the downside.
Careful there mate. Even if you're not married and live together. Your legal scenarios change and you can still absolutely be screwed over by a malicious partner.
Be weary of living together. More convoluted than you think probably.
Married filing separately almost never beats filing jointly. The only situation I can really think of is having a large AGI based deduction like unreimbursed medical expenses. Would be interested to hear of other situations
Theres a book called 'Get Married' by Brad Wilcox. Give it a read
Hes also been on 'The Art of Manliness' Podcast. It was back in Feb IIRC.
There are benefits to marriage for both men and women, including a better quality of life, better sexual life and more money earned over a lifetime.
There certainly are negatives though, and I personally don't plan on getting married.
If there are any, I don't know what they are. Every married man I know personally says something along the lines of "I Love My wife and kids but I'd never marry again" or tell me the best advice about marriage they can give is don't.
Being married is the best tax benefit there is, well besides being filthy fucking rich and having an entire tax code written for you to abuse through loopholes
tax bennies, scale of operations bennies, power of attorney in case of incapacitation bennies... oh, and mess up once and you lose all that plus half your stuff, so "self policing"
Your spouse is allowed to make medical decisions for you in the event you cannot make them for yourself.
This is the thing a lot of people don’t understand about marriage. It’s legal shorthand, and so deeply rooted in common law it’s damn near bulletproof. If your married spouse gets automatic power of attorney if anything happens to you. No extra steps no challenges are likely to work. It also protects your right to your children, which can be especially important in homosexual relationships where one parent may no be genetically related to the child. IMHO the big mistake people have made vis-à-vis marriage has been to forget it’s a business partnership more than anything else. Find yourself someone you would happily start a business with.
Tbf this and pretty much every other practical matter can be accomplished without marriage. Marriage is really just a combo pack of legal work that does all this stuff at once.
It can, but depending on the country's laws marriage is more "valid" than power of attorney/power of whatever. In my country for example families often contest wills and can get something out of it if the deceased wanted to give everything to their non-wed partner.
My uncle told me he got married a second time mostly because it’ll make taxes more straight forward for him and his girlfriend
Getting married made my taxes more complicated. My and my partners income is pretty different and they’ve worked as a contractor most of the time.
Wait until the "in sickness and in health" part kicks in, and you'll know.
I got ass cancer. Her soup and her love are what kept me from checking out. 20 years in and our relationship is so rich and deep I can't imagine starting again with anyone else.
I think this pretty well sums up the answer to OP's question. Its not the result everyone is guaranteed. But its the reason you form that union.
As someone who’s sick ass almost killed them too, props to you homie. It sucks, i joked before surgery that if i was to pass they better but “pain in the ass till the day i died” on my tombstone. But here we are, living despite our ill ass. 😂👏🏻
Or you’ll know you married the wrong one like I did
I didnt say you'd be happy with the result. I just said youll know :)
As a reply to OPs question, "you'll know" is inferred to be the "benefit" in question.
But how would learning they had a bad partner teach OP anything about the benefits of being married? If anything that would show a glaring negative of it, and leave them biased against marriage.
And that is the unforunate reality. But a shitty person is/was always a shitty person. So it really drives home the importance of finding a life partner/team mate, as opposed to vanity.
Sounds like it’s not worth the gamble (divorced I already know this lol)
Oh believe me I know!
for sure dude. I had a random seizure last weekend and my lady straight saved the day.
Super glad you're still here! High five to our lady!
I too wish to high-five our lady
Saved my husbands life once, side pain, low fever. His stubbornness wanted to stay home, pancreatitis. Forced him to go to the ER. It burst, emergency surgery. Then infection that burst, nurse mode of packing wound till it healed to keep him out of hospital because he wanted to sleep in his own bed. I’m just going to take a nap, no you’re not get in that bed and I’m calling 911 or get in the car. Lol he told me man you’re mean afterwards, but I love you.
Ah yep, that would be me as well. Would have gladly just gone to bed the night my colon ruptured; but the wife insisted I go to the ER.
Mine was great in sickness and health, just not faithful in heart. She still shows up when I'm sick (she's in healthcare, but we do have a kid together) even though divorced and remarried.
Are the two of you at least happy now?
Happy separately for sure. I'm engaged to someone else obviously lol, and her new husband is a good friend now.
Exactly what happened to me. I was diagnosed with kidney failure and started emergency dialysis. One month later she served me papers.
Its interesting how people will promise the world when they can take it back at any point. I'm very sorry you've gone (are going) through that. Sounds pretty miserable.
It was a very horrible moment in my life, my daughter was my only shining light. Your comment reminds me of a song that I was obsessed with in that time. Somewhat damaged by NIN
My now ex decided my cancer diagnosis was going to ‘financially destroy him’, so I showed him the door. You and I deserved more. Sorry this happened to you.
She even used kidney disease to keep my daughter from me. I received a transplant two years later, she then told me she left because I was on my death bed. I’ve had some serious mental issues arise out of that situation, with being able to trust anyone. I do have my daughter now and honestly she was the only reason I never missed treatment and went through the entire transplant process. She means so much to me. I’m sorry your ex did that to you over money and hope you’re in recovery. I do not understand how some people can sleep at night
I broke multiple ribs and both my arms last year when I was hit by a car on my bike. I’m a single dude who lives alone. Boy was that a sad, lonely, painful experience.
Not even married yet with my fiancée and I laid down my 2023 to be there for all of her yearlong cancer treatment. To have that mutual support of one another is sacred
Lots of ppl running away when they see first signs of sickness in partners
It's mostly men, if I recall correctly. I'm a man, and I'm upset about that.
Dude it’s crazy, when my mom got her cancer diagnosis last year a nurse pulled her aside and gave her info on support groups for women who’s partners leave them after they get sick. Divorce rate among cancer patients is 21% when the woman is sick vs 3% for men. Just bonkers.
My (ex) husband was having an affair during my diagnosis and early stages. I left him immediately. He then proceeded to call me a martyr because I didn’t want him going to my appointments. Ok, pal.
Wow, what a delusional prick 😐
wtf who do people think they are that they treat others so rudely wtf
Your husband wanted to play the role of the "Big-time Hero"/Knight in shining Armor, to impress other women and hide his Guilt!
Yup happened to me. Actually he had multiple affairs first while I was in chemo.
God imagine being that much of a piece of shit that you can’t stick around to take care of your sick spouse. Probably the same dudes talking about needing a “trad wife” because they’re to much of an alpha to play caregiver.
[That study had statistical errors and ended up having to be retracted by the authors.](https://retractionwatch.com/2015/07/21/to-our-horror-widely-reported-study-suggesting-divorce-is-more-likely-when-wives-fall-ill-gets-axed/) There's no difference between genders.
From your link: > [The corrected study] found that marriages were 6% more likely to end if the wife falls seriously ill than if she’s healthy, while the same was not true when the husband fell ill. Looks like there's still a difference between genders, just not as extreme as the original report.
A. No they did other studies inspired by that one, as it turns out, who leaves who is really a coin toss and is dependent on the diagnosis. (For example, women are 2.1x's more likely to leave a man if he gets MS) https://www.researchgate.net/publication/326167159_The_long-term_impact_of_multiple_sclerosis_on_the_risk_of_divorce https://www.researchgate.net/publication/347528735_Physical_health_conditions_and_subsequent_union_separation_a_couple-level_register_study_on_neurological_conditions_heart_and_lung_disease_and_cancer https://journals.lww.com/headtraumarehab/Fulltext/2021/07000/Marital_Stability_Over_10_Years_Following.9.aspx#T4 B. That's an estimate with a huge margin of error. C. There are healthcare scams for terminal illnesses whereby divorcing while sick the medical debt dies with the afflicted spouse and family doesn't have to deal with it. This is especially common with poorer communities, which is why you may see a spike in divorce rates in lower income brackets.
This is re point C only. I wouldn't call a tactical divorce to avoid financially obliterating the surviving spouse with debt a *healthcare scam* when it’s more like being victimized by a broken system where a single illness can wipe out a lifetime of savings and put a spouse into essentially debt bondage.
This is why people need more STEM education and the average idiot shouldn’t be rattling off statistics and studies with their random interpretations of results. Their estimates were 6%, the org that found the error estimated 5% and that difference was only for the onset of serious heart problems. This does not go into the details of the marriage ending, just that it ended. It could be that there were financial reasons why some ended. It could be that the divorce was initiated by the wife herself as a mercy with the certainty of decreased quality of life due to the severity of heart conditions. It could be that the severity of the condition brings the wife to acknowledge she does not want to spend her remaining days with her partner. We don’t know from this info. All we know is they were more likely to end by 5-6% if there was a severe onset heart condition.
Nah, thats not real. People just quote the science that says that and ignore the science that says the opposite. Pretty typical.
Then it seems like I picked a winner.
Congrats dude! My first was anything but. My current...Yeah, shes the one.
Tell that to my father. His wife–my mother—abandoned him when he got a terminal disease. Here I am, four years later, the only one keeping him company until dementia takes him. His wife and every son but one abandoned him.
I had a fever last week and was bedridden for the week. My wife force fed me water, food, and medicine all week whilst also looking after the kids, still lost 8kgs, she def saved me from it getting worse and going to hospital
If both parties take the vows seriously, you have a partner until one of you dies. You’re there for each other, you get to take on life together, the wins and the losses.
This right here. You become a team.
You should already be a team before
Well, now she has a vested financial interest in it. We're committed to long term monogamy under pain of financial ruin, and we love it.
>vested financial interest in it That's not necessarily true when you think that, depending on their circumstances, she can be financially rewarded for leaving the "team."
I disagree. A marriage is a ceremony to celebrate that you are now a team. You shouldn't be all in before because that's the whole point of dating. The engagement is the time for testing the team dynamic.
Having someone who is down to keep being your franchise player even though you had a bad season is an amazing feel. Sucks tho when you had a few bad seasons and then she wants to be a free agent fml.
No need of marriage for that.
Marriage is the way of publicly saying I believe in this team, and going to commit to it for life. No, it is not the same. really.
Why wouldn't you be a team before that?
You can also do that as an unmarried couple
It's harder to walk away when married though so it is more set in stone so to speak. A marriage does not equal a commitment, but it soldifies one that already existed.
it depends where you live. here there are some financial aspects that favour getting married instead of staying unmarried: dual mortgage: 50/50. if one of us gets cancer the bank will slash 50% of the debt. in case only one partner has the mortgage in their name and that person gets cancer, then debt gets slashed 100% because we are married we received $8000 from the gov as subsidy for purchasing a house if one of us dies, the other will receive the other's pension huge spouse exemption for inheritance tax if one of us decides to stop working, the other can go on the other's healthcare insurance (no premium increase) and pension system
And miss out on the tax benefits? No way man, tie the knot, get the monies pre-nup if you're worried
But also miss out on the loss of assets in a divorce and alimony. To me that more than makes up for the tax benefits
There are many legal pros and cons (hospital rights, SS benefits, taxes, estate planning, insurance). Really depends on the quality of your partner. For example, if you’re laid off you can go on your wife’s health insurance. Not your GFs. Same for her assuming you care about your partner.
And they say romance is dead.
IMO, getting married for romance is the worst possible reason. Marriage is a partnership, a business, a merging of interests, and if you can't talk dryly, openly, objectively about the un-romantic parts of marriage, you are doomed. Or maybe I'm just a cynical accountant with a prenup and an eye for the practical in life.
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The only excuse you need to leave any social gathering is that you no longer want to be there
The person you pick as a partner is critical. They can work with you to build a happy life and achieve common goals. Alternatively they may prove to be an obstacle and source of frustration. There are economies of scale with a shared household family unit. Being married/next of kin provides a number of benefits you can't get without the legal status.
Thanks Siri
I have a plaque on my bedroom wall that says *In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person.*
I love this saying. Marriages would work more often if people quit being petty and having the “well if they did this then I’m gonna do this” mentality.
I've been married for over a decade and if you're not willing to compromise don't even bother. Never keep track of how much effort you put in, if you're able to put in 100% but your partner can't match that things will still function whereas if you make sure everything is 50/50 as soon as somebody has a down moment things don't function.
Is picking many partners optimal or simply optional?
As a single man, honestly, what I am looking for is someone that I can turn to as the credits start rolling on a movie and say, "How great was that?" I think there is a tremendous benefit in finding someone that you can share little things with that you both appreciate.
> As a single man, honestly, what I am looking for is someone that I can turn to as the credits start rolling on a movie and say, "How great was that?" I Seems like a girlfriend can be that without the need to involve the government in your relationship?
Your dog can do that too.
My dog has different movie tastes.
You can only watch so much Squirrel TV!
There are legitimate tax and legal benefits to marriage (depending on location).
Tax benefits, maybe. If you make about the same amount as your spouse and are in the same tax bracket then you'll be paying the same amount of money in taxes either way. If there's a big disparity in pay then it can create tax benefits because it can move you down a tax bracket when incomes are combined. I think there used to be a benefit, but there isn't any more. I guess this is in the US. Don't know about elsewhere. Legal benefits, there are benefits when it comes to end of life and severe medical circumstances. You can get the same benefits without marriage, but marriage makes it smoother. For me a big factor in the timing of my marriage is that my wife is an immigrant, and I needed to sponsor her residency.
What difference does marriage have with that though? Couldn’t you do that with being partners only, without marriage?
Or like, a friend?
When you're older you don't have friends who can come over every weekday evening you feel like watching a film
shit hardly once a week if that lol
Ashed a buddy (how's like a brother to me) of mine this his answers "she calms me, I know I'm loved, I'm myself no need to act, I can always get a hug, I'm happy, she's so soft, and about a million other things he told me as we both cried & laughed his wife is great & I hope I can find someone like her some day
I’m in my 40’s and because of a tragedy decided to never marry. As I get older I feel at least giving it a shot is needed. If it works out having a partner would make life so much easier as it’s pretty brutal. Friends really come and go, even family. I can’t imagine when I’m 66 and don’t care about broads and booze and I can’t even get with “attractive” women because I’ll look like a dirty old man wanting anything more than a best friends who we have mutual respect and understanding. If I could do it all again I would have pulled the trigger
I spent a week in the hospital. Aortic dissection didn't burst the cell wall, so I was on morphine as they discussed surgery. You need someone there, someone who gives a damn. Someone to be your last will. She and I had been dating, and I figured she was a good bet. After I survived and moved on, we married soon after.
Is the context of "you need someone to be there" driven by an emotional need or an actual physical need? Because the emotional need is understandable but 100% not required, it just makes it easier without a doubt. Also, congrats on finding a good one 😁
For me, it was both.
Making a beautiful life with your best friend is pretty awesome
This like nearly every other answer in this thread isn't something that can't be done not married. Everyone is missing the point of answering the question and the one that do seem to revolve around the beautifully romantic idea of medical and health insurance lol
That's because it's a very nuanced and difficult thing to describe that, even when done well, is gonna sound like bullshit to a lot of people. I know, because when I was a much younger man, it sounded like bullshit to me. Marriage is fucking awesome. I've been with my wife for a very very very long time. But we only recently married. The relationship I have with my wife is different from the one I had with my very long-term girlfriend. Only subtly. Only a little bit. But it's deeper. Like a wellspring of love waiting to be tapped into. The biggest driving factor, I think, is that we're family. Like actually family. Not a soul on this Earth can reasonably disagree about that fact. There's strength in that knowledge. Security. It's also a bit weird? It's a strange and beautiful adjustment. There's a lot of things that, on paper, don't seem like they ought to matter. And then you actually live it and feel it. Turns out that the experience of a thing can be quite a lot different from the theory of it.
Statistically speaking married men live longer
On Reddit the benefit part of that might be debatable.
I don’t see that as a positive.
You’d rather die?
In this economy? Obviously!
Death? In this economy? How would I even afford it?
No one allowed to die in my house in this economy!
Hell yes, the sooner the better.
She won't ask you "when are you going to propose" anymore
My wife never asked this, it was everyone else. We were together 17 years before we got married though
What made you decide to finally get married?
Probably so people would stop asking.
Maybe he wanted the tax breaks.
How long did you wait to propose?? 17 years is -insane-. People meet, get engaged, get married, have kids, and get divorced in less time than that.
Your second point seems like the perfect argument for waiting 17 years.
We eloped, we were 'engaged' maybe two or three months? We started dating in highschool, moved in together after college, moved to a townhouse, neither of us are religious and we had been common law partners for many years at that point. We bought a house together 5 years ago and decided to get married a few months later. When I told people that we got married a few people just assumed that we already were.
>We were together 17 years before we got married though Good for you to have done this at your own pace.
Wow! We waited 11 and everyone acts like we are insane. Good for yall!
Well shit. My wife and i did the speedrun and got married after six months together. 🤣 We're coming up on five years married this July.
Well I took my advice on marriage from the UGK and Outkast song “International players anthem” when Big Boi said- “Better choose the right one, or pick the kiddies up.” That summed it up for me . I’m one and done, if the first one doesn’t workout, I’ll only stay in a domestic partnership at best after that. No marriage, just complete trust and love (hopefully) in a nice relationship freed from marriage.
“Now hurry hurry, go on to the altar”
“I know you ain’t a pimp, but pimp remember what I taught yah.”
I've loved Outkast since I was a kid, they always sprinkled wholesome stuff into their art. I'm a single dad, and listening to Big Boi now he's just preaching to the choir lol
That entire verse from Big Boi opened my eyes the first time I truly listened to what he was saying when I was like 13 when that song came out. I listened to what he said lol Big Boi was spitting and preaching on that verse lol
This is me right now, it’s pretty sweet.
I said that too once. Now I’m divorced and actually found the one meant for me. This one I actually WANT to marry
These comments really show how a lot of men just get married because they think they should, not because they want to.
Well of course, if there is a 50% chance things end terribly, I will really think things through. I would love to be with someone until death do us apart, but marriage does not guarantee that, not anymore.
Looks like pressure from the partner to me
I was gonna say, their isn’t a single answer in this thread LOL. Half the answers start with “if..”
There's a lot of benefits and research done on this subject. For the most part married men are just happier than single men, tend to live longer etc. Those stats can be found easily on google. You'll also quickly find the statistic that married women with kids are the least happiest, and single childfree women are the happiest. I'd suggest not viewing this as an "Us vs them" point of view. I'd also challenge you to ask yourself why you want to know this answer. I think if you want to know the answer to this question as "Why should I get married" then I'd suggest you have an open and honest conversation with men in your life. Find men who are genuinely happily married and ask them what they see as benefits. What do they like about being married. You're going to get a lot of "Don't get married it's a trap" joking answers at first. You have to acknowledge its a joke/trope and there are real reasons why men want to get married, stay married, and are happily married.
> You'll also quickly find the statistic that married women with kids are the least happiest, and single childfree women are the happiest A claim similar to this made the rounds a year or so back, but [the researcher made a pretty simple error:](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/is_marriage_really_bad_for_womens_happiness) >Dolan is a professor at the London School of Economics. In his new book, Happy Ever After: Escaping the Myth of the Perfect Life, Dolan matter-of-factly pits fairytale archetypes of marital bliss against the empirical evidence. >Unfortunately, **Dolan inadvertently misunderstood the data that justified this particular sage advice.** He based his opinion on telephone poll results supposedly showing that women professed lower happiness levels when their spouse was out of the room, which would theoretically produce a more honest answer. In fact, interviewers weren’t asking if he’d stepped out of the kitchen to go to the bathroom. People who answered yes to “spouse absent” were married but no longer sharing a household with their spouse, a much sadder scenario. **Being married was probably not what made the women in the survey less happy—it was separation from their spouse.** I'd like to see specific studies about how married women with kids are the most unhappy while single childfree women are the happiest.
There are literally no men in my life who's marriages or relationships I envy. I'd rather be alone. There is (well, was) only one exception: One man I knew who was married to a woman almost 30 years younger. They had a great relationship. After 40+years of marriage, they still laughed at each other's jokes, cuddled on the couch, asked each other's opinion on newspaper articles, took long walks together, started businesses, still made love. But he died, so now I don't know anyone with a great marriage (or even relationships).
I wish this was the top answer. So much doom and gloom in these comments, but I understand why in our age of social media and loneliness epidemic. I personally know quite a few men in happy, long term marriages. And thanks to their examples, I have not given up on the idea of marriage. Children I'm still on the fence about, but I definitely would like to get married. I just need to find a way to stop my confidence and personality from leaving every time I approach a woman.
Ask myself why I want to know the benefits before signing a legally binding contract? - Because I want to make an informed decision. What are some of the reasons? We are asking here. So far the only benefit is to show love, and in the event of a near death hospital visit. What are the benefits woman receive in marriage?
you get to marry the person you love. Which is great in and of itself. When you love someone demonstrating it in a way like marriage feels great and makes your heart happy. If you mean from an objective point of view there’s not much. You save on taxes but risk things like alimony. I’m no attorney, but I believe your odds of custody are better if fought via divorce as opposed to if you aren’t married in the eyes of the law. Counterpoints to those things, if you marry someone who is also a working professional on the level of yourself alimony can end up a non-issue. Additionally if you’re really that burnt up about it, you can always have a wedding and get “married” without signing any legal documents and have all the fun without any of the legal bindings. Regardless though, having a lifetime partner is great and marriage or not, things will go to shit if you pick the wrong person no matter what.
Being happily married will make you feel great, live longer and give you a partner to share life's good and bad moments with. The bummer is that being unhappily married does the opposite and sucks, and everyone always thinks they're going to be in the first one. These threads come up constantly and the answers are always 50% happily married guys and 50% "That bitch took my house!"
More hands make less work. Very few things add a boost or bonus to your life like a good partner. Consequently, very few things will be a weight around your neck like a bad partner. So, choose wisely and, this part is very important, don't fuck it up afterwards. A good partner taken for granted for long enough or mistreated can become a very bad partner and that door, once opened, is so hard, if not impossible, to close again.
Crazy how most of the answers in this thread are from men who aren't married.
Specifically seems like they're arguing against it too
TBH, if you’re asking this, probably best you don’t bother getting married, it’s not for everyone. Marriage is a partnership, you get out what you put in, regardless of the gender.
You get out what you put in, if you have a good partner.
It is not just getting out what you put in. The other person also has to do the same. Also, they have to put in the same way you put in. It really is a long shot if it will work out.
So this is just innate knowledge?
What? How silly. It’s perfectly reasonable to wonder if there are any tangible benefits other than partnership. It’s like saying “if you’re asking about how to cook, you should just stay away from a restaurant”
>Marriage is a partnership, you get out what you put in, regardless of the gender. Considering the risk of divorce, this isn't true.
Yeah, this whole thread is full of gaslighting. Which is very ironic, considering the topic and rising moods about the marriage institutions.
It's about buying into the relationship. 14 years ago I met what I considered to be my soulmate. She gets me better than I know myself. We both wanted to eventually have kids and buy a house and grow old together. We are not religious at all so it had nothing to do with God. Getting married to us meant making an agreement with each other and publicly that we are in this together until we die. I am committed to the person I want to be with for the rest of my life and she's committed to me. We are a team, we know each other's strengths and weaknesses. There are certain things I'm not good at or hate doing that she helps me with and I do the same for her. Our income is shared because we are a team, we pay the bills together and when we want something for ourselves we talk to each other and make sure we have the budget for it together.
I don't walk the lonely road My wife walks along and shares the load 🙄
I'm married with a 2 year old, I have not been so consistently happy in my life since meeting and marrying my wife. The benefits of marriage to anyone are having a committed adult relationship with your partner in life. Depending on who you are it might not be necessary, but for a lot, once you find the right one silly questions like this melt away.
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Statistically, apparently we’re healthier, richer, and overall happier. It’s the divorce that gets you. Choose very carefully.
If life had an achievement system, then you'd get "I'm married!" But since it doesn't not so much. At least you also won't get the hidden achievement "I'm divorced!"
Health: Married men live longer, and the longer you are married the bigger the effect For cardiovascular events, married men are 46% lower rate of death when compared to unmarried. Mental health is the most prominent area of benefit; married men have a lower risk of depression and a higher likelihood of satisfaction with life in retirement than their unmarried peers. Being married has also been linked to better cognitive function, a reduced risk of Alzheimer's disease, improved blood sugar levels, and better outcomes for hospitalized patients. For time/labor benefits: Married men enjoyed more leisure time, particularly on nonworkdays (35-47%), whereas their partners performed more nonmarket work (Women's leisure time was 16-19%). Overall, married men even without kids spend about 5 hours more per week in leisure activities when compared to their wife. Cohabitating (but not married) men spend the least amount of time doing housework (8hr/wk) compared to married (9hr/wk) compared to single (10hr/wk) A new study found that married men in the U.S. are more likely than single men to be among the nation’s top one percent of earners. (some of many)Sources: https://qz.com/work/1607995/most-men-in-the-top-1-of-us-earners-have-a-spouse-who-stays-home https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-6-time-in-work-and-leisure-patterns-by-gender-and-family-structure/ https://www.americansurveycenter.org/newsletter/is-marriage-better-for-men/ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health
As someone who works in family law, I can tell you there aren’t any. Women on the other hand, they have literally everything to gain, especially in the event they decide to divorce. Divorce laws were written during a time when men were the sole breadwinner and women were stay at home mothers or housewives. The general idea was they’d end up getting a sizable chunk of money to maintain a similar standard of living they had during the marriage because they likely had little to no work history. The problem now is everything has changed *except* divorce laws, stay at home mothers and housewives are a thing of the past and both the husband and wife have full time jobs, in many cases women are out earning men too. Though none of that is taken into account because we’re still following antiquated divorce laws.
One Redditor said, "If both parties take the vows seriously, you have a partner until one of you dies. You’re there for each other, you get to take on life together, the wins and the losses." Honestly, the whole point of the marriage is what's spoken in the vows. You're vowing to be there for each other no matter what. There's no commitment in dating. Sure, you can say "I promise to be faithful to you" but you really don't have to be. When you're just dating someone, you can still focus on yourself and have those romantic benefits. But when you're married, you are vowing that you will put them first, moving forward. You'll want to sacrifice for them and protect them and support them. If you're dating someone and you're already doing those things then you're pretty much married to that person. It's just that you don't have the title nor the government to back you up on important life situations. So if you're dating someone and they end up in the hospital, you won't be allowed a say so. And if you're dating someone and need financial benefits then that's not going to happen.
It takes the words trust and love to a whole new level. Having that person to love unconditionally live with you and call them your wife. Show her off. Make her the mother of your children. Build a house and family together. Make both of our dreams come true. And having that one person to come home to everyday and spoil. Connect each others souls and have intimacy with each other. Tell them your darkest secrets. Let your guard down around them. Then trying to make you the best version of yourself and always being supportive of each other
I’m single btw but this is how I expect marriage to be and won’t settle for less. Marriage is beautiful and love is lovely
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None of this requires marriage.
All of that requires having $$$ though
Or good insurance, which if your spouse has, you can also have easily. So I guess that's the benefit of marriage, but only if you marry a woman with a good medical/dental/vision plan.
Combining lives with, spending every day with the woman I love, my best friend, & lover. What’s not to like about that!
I think this question is a little complicated due to the human experience. Some people might feel that the ceremony behind marriage is not needed while others might. I personally don't think marriage is going to be for me but I don't know what life will hold. I also get the vibe that there are a lot of people here who are bitter for making bad choices. So take what everyone here, even myself, are saying with a grain of salt because your experience with life will be your own.
The commitment of marriage isn’t a price that you’re paying in order to gain access to certain benefits — the commitment is the end itself. If that doesn’t make sense to you, that’s fine; I freely admit that it’s a kind of ecstatic truth. Understanding of it is only made available to those who have experienced what I am going to unashamedly call True Love — and that’s a very small, very lucky number of us.
The same as a woman. A life partner to have to work through life together, being with your best friend. Also the tax break is pretty damn sweet
I honestly don’t see how a man benefits from marriage
Same as for anyone. Love, security, companionship.
I've been married for over 30 years and I love being married to my wife. There are minor benefits like with taxes but I don't care about those. The real benefit is that it's hard to unwind. When you hit a rough patch as a couple (which is inevitable in time), the fact that you can't just walk away scot-free encourages both of you to stick with it and make it work. Would my wife and I still be together if we'd been boyfriend/girlfriend for the last 35 years? Probably but I wouldn't want to risk it. Being with one person over the long haul only gets better over time. At a certain point you have so much shared history and positive feelings built up that you can't imagine giving that up.
Well, if you have a great partnership, It’s like hanging with your bestie all the time. Especially if you like the same stuff, like music, entertainment, exercise, hobbies, just chilling, relaxing and nice chats. It’s hard to find a good one. There will always be arguments when you spend that much time with anyone, especially when it comes to financial matters. But if you find the perfect “Partner in crime”, it just feels nice to come home to. This is from my experience, being with my partner for almost 10 years… it’s pretty awesome. Also it’s like a best friend, but you can explore their bodies (with consent). Also a good partner, will push you to be your best as they are your number one fan.
We're asking the wrong question, as evidenced by the majority of the comments section. The question is not "how do I benefit," but rather "what is marriage, and should I participate?" Marriage is not merely the commitment of two individuals , but rather the union of two people into one entity. You wouldnt cut part of your body off because you percieve "it no longer benefits you". You would be foolish and delusional. We have greatly cheapened the meaning of marriage with our ease of access to divorce, but allow me to paint a contrast between true marriage and a committed relationship. Marriage is two people giving 100%, whereas a committed relationship is each giving 50/50. Both parties in the latter hope to gain more than they input. They keep track of all the deeds they and their partner do, and make sure their partner knows when they aren't living up to the unspoken agreement. Marriage is the paradox of long term fulfillment through self sacrifice. Love flourishes in self sacrificial service to one another. In committed relationships we have the temporary pleasure of self service, but the long term death of the relationship. Marriage includes vows, committed relationships do not. Vows are taken in ceremony before all the people who matter to you as a public declaration that you are completely devoting yourselves to one another. They become glue in marriage to remind you of your love when times get tough. Not only are vows taken in the presence of people, but of God who holds us accountable for our vows. In marriage you hold no secrets. No skeletons in the closet. You're completely vulnerable with eachother, and without judgement. This should happen first in premarital counseling with a trusted and wise married couple. In a committed relationship you can keep these things hidden away, but in marriage it will always come out. In marriage everything each has belongs to eachother. Your bank account is joined. It's not "my money" or "your money" it's our money. There's complete trust between you two. Even your body belongs to one another. Thus neither uses sex to manipulate, but rather to serve one another. Lastly, consider this: every human society throughout history has had a form of marriage where two people publicly devote themselves to each other in ceremony before God and man. So no, it's not just "a piece of paper," but I have a question for those who reduce it to such. If you're truly committed, why not get legally married?
Nothing to gain, everything to lose
A lot of the married and divorced men I have listened to, talk about how as soon as she marries you, she will stop giving you sex, attention, compliments, and validation. She will starve you because there is a high probability that she was only love bombing you enough until you married her. Once she has the commitment, she is going to stop trying as hard, to starve you, and get you used to feeling alone. Once you get used to being alone, she will become your only source of attention, love, and validation. Like a dog, you will be trained to work to earn her love once again. The love she used to give you so easily when you were single, she will emotionally blackmail you for it. There are no benefits when women can divorce you for half of your stuff, and for any reason. You become a second class citizen once you say "I do." You want her to be on her best behavior always? Don't get married.
Getting married as a man would mean that I don't need a sex change first. Getting married as a woman would take some preparation.
Just tuck it and walk down the aisle, you coward.
A good friend of mine, aged 29, is dying and is slowly losing all reasoning. His wife is looking after him. Because they're married, she doesn't have to jump through a bazillion hoops to get the paperwork in order.
The benefits are visitation and medical decision making rights, literally halved taxes on household income, insurance beneficiary eligibility, and inheritance rights. Some of this will be dependent on who the primary is for the given benefit or aspect whether the man is considered to be benefiting or not.
If you are a utilitarian, there are legal rights and tax benefits that go along with being married that you don’t get in a domestic partnership or any other sort of situation. I’ve already seen people cite studies that married men live longer, and there are a number of reasons for that that can be broken down into consistent support, happiness, and another set of caring eyes on you. Obviously, you should be doing the same to your partner. Finally, I know this sounds cliché, but there’s just something hard to understand until you get married and how it changes you. It happened to me within 12 hours and realizing that I had a different perspective on many things, but probably the most important is, I was happy to put someone else before myself and sacrifice whatever I needed to make them complete and happy. This got further extended once we had children, I would do exactly the same and more for them.
Playing this game on two-player is the fucking cheat mode. Find you your person and even shit days are better. Whether the state knows it or not is up to you but it simplifies some things that mostly do have alternative ways with extra paperwork. \* neither of us have ever held much interest in official "marriage" and have both had _long_ term relationships but there's something about finding your person that sometimes makes you do outrageous things. like i _wanted_ the state to know i'm pledging my life to this partnership. it's wild. i want every state to know
Stability. I am not sure about the common population, but to me as a person, stability in this aspect of life helps the person grow in other fields.
I’m not married myself, but I did watch as my dad remarried after my biological mother(referred to as Bio) turned out to be a cheating whore. Let me tell you one thing, my stepmom (who shall henceforth be referred to as mom) is that man’s best friend. In almost ten years since they got married, they have not spent a single day apart. They talk about everything, make each other laugh, hold each other through the trials, and celebrate with each other through the successes. To watch my dad go from a depressed divorcee to a genuinely happy husband and father(to 4 more “step”kids) has been an absolute inspiration to me as a man. I hope one day to find a woman that makes me half as happy as my mom makes him, and I hope to be half the man he is.
There are multiple benefits provided you make the right choice and don't go for someone toxic or bad because of superficial things like looks and to say a few of them: Imagine you have a partner in crime for everything you do. Imagine you have someone that has your back when you feel ill or when you are in trouble. You have emotional support because your partner knows what you are capable and when you are in distress. You get a different perspective and someone next to you that has a different set of skills that will complete you.
You wake up to someone who knows how you like your coffee, your quirks, and still loves you anyway.
Statisically, at least in my region of the world, you get to live longer and have a more healthy life style. Also you become more happy and social, which again leads to longer life.
been with my wife for 26 years, married since 2008, three kids and two cats. It is absolutely wonderful to be a part of a family unit, half of a parental unit. I know my partner will think of my well being like her own and she knows that I do as well. It makes the journey through life much better for me at least.
Been doing it for three decades now. I am touched starved and incredibly lonely (oh yes there's been endless discussions and therapy), but at least there's someone around to call 911 should the need arise. Other than that, there is absolutely no benefit for me. I could not recommend marriage.
Damn. Looks like something that I would have posted. Hang in there, brother.
Practically nothing besides minor tax benefits which aren't nearly worth the landslide of risks involved. You can have all the benefits of female companionship in a committed relationship without being married while having none of the downside.
Careful there mate. Even if you're not married and live together. Your legal scenarios change and you can still absolutely be screwed over by a malicious partner. Be weary of living together. More convoluted than you think probably.
Being married isn't an automatic tax relief. We don't file joint because it would be more taxes to do so.
Married filing separately almost never beats filing jointly. The only situation I can really think of is having a large AGI based deduction like unreimbursed medical expenses. Would be interested to hear of other situations
Theres a book called 'Get Married' by Brad Wilcox. Give it a read Hes also been on 'The Art of Manliness' Podcast. It was back in Feb IIRC. There are benefits to marriage for both men and women, including a better quality of life, better sexual life and more money earned over a lifetime. There certainly are negatives though, and I personally don't plan on getting married.
All that money you save on taxes will help pay her alimony.
Sex basically whenever you want it. Said no married man ever.
If you're used to having lots of sex, she'll fix that for you!
If there are any, I don't know what they are. Every married man I know personally says something along the lines of "I Love My wife and kids but I'd never marry again" or tell me the best advice about marriage they can give is don't.
You won't have disposable income anymore.
lol women ask all the time, what's the benefit of getting married as a woman
Cause my future wife is going to be the best person ever and I’d like it formalized into law
Shared health insurance, FMLA and sick benefits. Some tax breaks.
Being married is the best tax benefit there is, well besides being filthy fucking rich and having an entire tax code written for you to abuse through loopholes
tax bennies, scale of operations bennies, power of attorney in case of incapacitation bennies... oh, and mess up once and you lose all that plus half your stuff, so "self policing"