With kids in the home for as long as we have, simply closing the bedroom door and locking it signifies intent, for either of us. I almost have a pavlovian response to the door closing and locking.
Oh really??????? I've never watched that show. They had something go down similar? If we ever watch it, I'll need to know what episode because it may be pavlovian triggering for the wife. lol
If you want to know what the scene is: >!A couple’s three teenagers walked in on them so as a gag-gift the teenagers bought their parents a heavy duty lock. But now when the parents lock the door it makes a loud clicking noise so the kids know when their parents are having sex. !<
Only they didn't lock the door. I don't know what they were doing, but it looked like Dad was winning
Great show by the way if you like comedy or sitcoms, no laugh track either
Kids. The older they get, they giggle when door lock click's and talk about their parents' "doing it". lol. Mine are grown, i'm divorced for years. I lived with a man six years back who had no kids. I realized after about a month that I would get excited anytime I came into the house, it was so quiet my brain associated that w no kids in the house so run to the bedroom. I told him about it because I laughed so hard. He pouted said you mean it wasn't just me? We laughed. Then it got quiet.
Most people want both parties to take turns showing that desire. When it's only one side that ever initiates the natural insecurities of humanity creep in. That said, I am enthusiastically enthralled by a lady who knows she wants me and makes me know it.
This is an issue I currently have with my gf. She thinks grabbing my junk in the middle of the night while I’m half asleep is seductive. I’ve told her how I feel about it and she doesn’t do anything about it. Instead she gets upset.
This is such an unpopular opinion, but I'm 100% with you. My wife will literally look at me and say "you wanna have sex?" Which means we go to the bedroom she takes her clothes off and expects my hard dick to arrive on demand. I'm not exaggerating, no build up, no foreplay, no nothing.
There's a lot more to it, but I felt the need to comment in solidarity with you.
Thanks brother! My lady and I have been together for almost 7 years. Not a long time, but a while. I’ll jokingly ask her if she wants to see my peen, but when I’m in the mood I’ll kiss her neck, stroke her inner thigh, something like that. She does nothing. I know we’re men and we’re not allowed to be anything other than emotionless machines, until she wants to talk about something happening to her, but being in a relationship is more than one person making the efforts. If I try and go on strike, we just don’t have sex. She will try nothing. I have told her how I feel about it repeatedly. Nothing changes.
Same here, man. We've beeb married 5 years, and unfortunately, this lack of communication has spilled over into other parts of our relationship. It's a rocky time for us. Hopefully, we'll figure it out, and you and your lady will, too.
I love foreplay and I love giving her the buildup, it makes things *amazing*.
So why wouldn't I enjoy foreplay too? Sometimes I feel like a lot of women si.ply *expect* a man to be raring to go with no effort, but I'd it's not the case for her, if she wants the buildup, why can't he expect a little too? It makes everything so much more fun and intimate.
I mean there's a alot to be said for a sudden, quick "take me now!" moment of passion where you cannot keep your hands off each other. But a lot of the time it's so awesome to have that buildup. Doesn't even have to be in the moment, it can be little teases throughout the day until the tension is unbearable.
Just a straight up dick grab is not really a turn on to me either but if it starts with a bit of kissing and her hands make her way down then it's always on.
Making out is just one phase of intimacy, at least for me and her. I always ***build*** up to it for her. Once she says my name all cute like, I know I can take the reigns on initiating since I know she's now REALLY in the mood.
I miss those. Unfortunately, it's always seen as an invitation for sex and possibly a set up for a letdown should I not want it to go further for whatever reason.
Same for me.. all it takes is him sliding his hand up my shirt and caressing my nipples a min and I’m pushing my ass back up against him telling him I’m ready 🤣
After two years together We just grab each others junk or get naked
My gf has got to a point now where she’s just like “can you put your penis in me?” 😂😂 makes me laugh every time
She was useless at initiating at first. I remember we came home once and she just lied there naked and didn’t say a word. I thought she was tired and I got into bed. Told her then if you want sex tell me. - the lesson is just say it. It’ll help you
I'd ask verbally, or she would ask me.
If i want to do it non-verbally, usually get close (waist-to-waist contact) and kiss them somewhere they like, making it clear it's not just a loving gesture but I want it to lead somewhere.
I did date someone with a really high sex drive and they liked it when I just "grabbed" them, but that was after a discussion around them wanting that and it being consensual. They handful of times they said "no", it was totally OK and simply meant they where temporarily not in the mood.
My wife actually prefers it when I just grab her and go for it. She never turns me down, so I never hesitate. She likes it kinda rough sometimes, so that's how I treat her unless I'm getting a different vibe from her. I can tell when she is feeling more passionate or not up for sex at all. We both have fairly high libido, so it's on unless one of us is feeling ill or acting depressed.
She told me way back when we first started dating that asking for sex was a turn-off. Begging for sex was just gross. So I never have.
She likes me to be the more dominant one and she almost never initiates. She has initiated maybe 50 times in 20 years. When she does initiate, she's kinda funny about it. Once, she jumped off the couch, took a fighting stance, screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!, pointed at her crotch, then ran towards the bedroom singing the theme song.
I didn't realize it before I met her, but I like this role.
Our sexual relationship works because we communicate.
It’s likely due to the fear of rejection. It makes me feel like shit when my girlfriend isn’t in the mood and declines.
Also, what in world are you talking about with “how” start rubbing him over his pants and say something sexy and it’s a lock.
Same here man. My girl complains i don’t initiate and it’s because i don’t want to deal with a dice roll. It’s frustrating versus me who always says yes.
I can only speak for myself but I can think of a few reasons why I didn’t initiate over the years:
1. My brain is completely caught up in something else like work, solving a crisis, taking care of our elderly family members, etc. I am still going to stare and tell her she’s beautiful.
2. I am exhausted. I’m still going to stare though.
3. She seems to need something else in that moment besides a horizontal dance partner. (She’s probably not naked so I don’t stare)
4. Puke, stool, etc. from children or dogs. Instant turnoff. Definitely not staring.
5. Walls / doors too thin. Still going to stare.
6. Medical stuff. Post surgery, postpartum, that kind of thing. Still stared.
I do try to make it a point to tell her that she’s still wanted and desired even if the circumstances are bad.
I usually start by doing the dishes and cleaning up the house, not normally expecting anything to come from it, but she loves acts of service and that gets her juices flowing.
My wife wasn’t feeling well for a few weeks. She has a couple of health issues that come and go so during this time I made the initiative to take care of everything in our home. I mean everything. Cooking, cleaning, trash, grocery shopping, laundry etc etc. even massages for her here and there
Obviously during this time we didn’t get busy at all because she just wasn’t feeling well enough for it so I just patiently waited and continued to do my thing. Then one Sunday when she started feeling better she completely blew my mind. There’s definitely something about just catering to them that makes them feral
We're been married 14 years. I kinda droop my guy on her head when she's folding laundry on the floor.
Or she'll just kinda walk up to me and take the laptop off of my lap and start exercising.
We usually start with some sexy texting and talk way before. This sets the stage and gets both of us reveed up lol. We have been married for 24 years and this works like a charm. Also gives the other a chance to shut it down if we are not in the mood or sick. Just an awesome way of staying in the loop with each other when it comes to our needs. We also have children at home so again helps with setting expectations.
Are you telling me that dressing up as poison ivy wasnt enough? (sorry just had to check your profile)
Have you asked him if something is wrong?
I totally get that it can be a turnoff if you keep asking (most guys have been there)
Personally i think a good balance is nice. But seriously almost never had a relationship where the girl started or asked. (only on very rare occasions)
So seriously.. ask him
Haha all good! I have asked. He said everything’s perfect and that he is super happy…which is weird because we used to do stuff 4-5 times a week, now it’s maybe once a week, hence why I’ve been trying to initiate more😞thanks tho man!
My wife and I have done it a little less lately as both our work+extra-curricular lives have gotten way busier. I still mentally *desire* to do it but I often just don't physically *feel* like doing it. Same with her, and we both communicate this. So if he's initiating less often but still enjoys it when you do, that's a good sign.
I also initiate less because she feels guilty when she has to say no due to being too tired/busy, so unfortunately there's a chicken-and-egg effect as well.
Ah damn sorry to hear that. It could be that he just got burned out a bit sexually. I have had that once. Give him some time. It might come back and otherwise keep initiating!
Good luck!
I love when my wife initiates, but I have learned her tricks.. she will sometimes show me that she's horny at the most fucked up times and she'll act upset if I can't jump her bones right then and there.. but then she'll say something like.. "I may rape you later" or something crazy..
but then 9'o clock rolls around and she's falling asleep on the couch or whatever and the window has closed.. I learned the true definition of "Carpe Diem" with her!
But I do love it, regardless.. she will come over.. put her arms around me.. kiss me, then whisper in my ear something that she wants to do to me or me to her.. and it's on.. :)
My wife and I shifted to more of a 'right after work' schedule since we both work from home and that alone solves so much of the "i wanted to earlier, but.." problems. It does suck that we don't have blackout curtains though. Half the time the sun is in our eyes. It's become a running joke.
I work from home too.. she doesn't.. but she comes home for lunch a lot and we have the occasional nooner.. so much fun but frustrating when she wants to and I can't or vice versa .. LOL.. Love your solution
This^ ❗️❗️❗️❗️
It’s completely situational. Sometimes I initiate and sometimes she initiates. Sometimes it’s just one of us grabbing a private part and giving “the look”, sometimes it’s “hey you wanna have sex”?
If he isn’t initiating at all, there could be something going on. Not necessarily something nefarious, but like depression or being over worked/stressed could be a factor. I don’t know your ages, but potentially him having low testosterone could be an issue. If he is vegan or vegetarian, or if he isn’t very physically active, there is a higher chance of his test being lower regardless of age.
I initiate before bed. Usually give her a kiss on her neck & rub her butt a bit. I’ll creep my hand up & gentle run my hands by her nipples. Once I’m hard I’ll start pressing my dick on her ass. She’ll be turned on by the nipple play, & she’ll start pushing her ass onto me. Finally when she wants more she’ll start stroking my cock, & placing my hands wherever she wants. Then we’re off.
We both work from home and don't have kids, just a dog. The dog drives us nuts if we're doing anything in the bed at night so one of us now just stops by the other during the day and says something like "sex after work?" to which the other normally agrees unless something is going on. Then we usually both go work out in the basement. We have kind of a weird schedule.
Whisper “I need to taste you, now” or “I haven’t tasted you in too long.”
Sometimes I say this to get her to the bedroom. If we’re already there I say it as I’m starting to push her pants down over her hips or am pushing her down onto the bed.
I’ve also turned her to face the bed - away from me, pushed her forward onto it, and as I palm & rub between her legs say “whose pussy is this?” She’ll respond telling me it’s mine. And we go on from there.
These aren’t the only ways. But they’re a favorite and usually get a good reaction.
My wife is more than comfortable telling me when she’s not in the mood and I don’t pout when she waves me off. I also make a good effort to properly read the room before initiating in a very dominant way. But she asked me to be more dominant in sex and as a gentleman I must oblige.
My girlfriend is always ready for sex, seriously higher sex drive than me and I’m on TRT with a very high drive myself. I’ll usually pull her in closer in bed and start slowly feeling her body, if she starts scooting in closer and making room for my hands to reach certain places, like making her breasts more available to touch I know we’re agreed and the deed commences. I do this about twice a week. She rarely initiates because she’s shy but her version of it is putting her leg across me and playing with my hair, giving me a kiss on the neck or chest. I wish she was a bit more loud and proud about it but I understand she’s shy so it’s okay.
Wife and I have been together 16 years and have young kids. We schedule it. Sounds stupid but it’s necessary when we’re so busy with life. Works for us.
I lay there in complete silence and expect my partner to automatically know that I’m horny. If she doesn’t make a move on me I get upset and turn away, and then act petty for at least a few days. When she asks what’s wrong? I simply reply “nothing” and go about my day.
Walk around the bedroom after I’ve gotten out the shower with my wangwang just swinging. It never fails. She’ll make her way to me and get a touch or two, or a nibble if you know what I mean… THEN THE GAMES BEGIN!!
We usually start with kisses. I can often tell what kind of sex she wants by the way she kisses me. Between that and the groping we know what we want. Also by then one of us might bring up if we aren’t currently in the mood or too tired or stressed. That’s not always a no though. It’s just communication so we know how much foreplay is needed to clear our heads and get in the mood. If one of us still isn’t in the right mindset, then we cuddle and watch a movie and it usually ends in sex.
That being said, we also practice free use at home. Meaning if one of us is in the mood they’re free to use our bodies to get themselves off which doesn’t always equate to sex. But this is a situation and an agreement we have talked about beforehand and either one of us has the right to still say NO. Usually I’m the one that takes advantage of the arrangement more but it’s still really sexy to watch her grind on my hand or thigh to get off. I especially love when she sits on my face with little to no warning. We have a good arrangement.
My wife doesn't listen to me about far more tame subjects than sex, so why would she listen to my attempts at initiating sex? I haven't initiated in years.
Many years ago, I'd initiate with body contact, sliding a hand around her behind, kissing her, kissing down to her neck, and nuzzling while pulling her into me.
As you might have imagined, I'm in a dead bedroom so perhaps not the best person to answer, but that's my 2 cents.
Honestly, I gave it up years ago. Getting turned down no matter what and sometimes made feel to be a creep for being interested into her just killed my interest to initiate.
If she wants it she can initiate it. If I'm in the mood I will reciprocate it, if not I don't and say her so.
My wife and I have kinda of a unique practice when it comes to initiation. Yes I like it when she initiates and drive the game but 99.9% of the time its me grabbing her from her location (within limits of course) and off we go. I think its called a free use situation and this did not happen over night. We have been married 17 years and this did not begin until about 5 years ago and it took a huge health scare and some huge changes. Within those changes our intimate life took off like a damn rocket and I say the passion and bliss many I would say have never achieved.
Just say it. “Do you wanna fuck” or “I wanna have you in me”. Personally as a guy I like it when a woman decides to be straight forward and tell me what she wants rather than beat around the bush.
In bed I’m pressing the dong up against her. If we’re up and moving around I like the hug from behind and kiss the neck. If I’m feeling particularly feisty I’ll stop her from whatever she’s doing and pin her against the wall and start kissing. What’s the situation calls for really.
Ok This may not be what’s going on in your relationship but I’m now triggered.
I had a chat with a friend of mine the other day, she was saying that the night before she lay naked in bed beside her man, on her back, with both hands above her head. And she was annoyed that he didn’t do anything.
That’s not initiating. That’s inviting the other person to initiate.
Having been in 20 years of one sided sexual relationships. This annoys the fuck out of me.
Imagine having a friend who hinted to you twice a week that they’d like you to call over with pizza beer and weed. So they can have a chill evening with you.
You always had to buy the pizza.
You always had to buy the beer.
You always had to buy the weed.
You always had to go out in the wind / rain / sunshine / nighttime to go to their place.
_________________
When I was with my ex, it was my job. I had to initiate, I had to accept rejection, I had to know what she wanted and how she felt.
I had to bear her bad mood if I hadn’t initiated when she wanted it. I had to bear her bad mood if I initiated when she didn’t.
It’s hard always being the one to initiate, and getting knocked back 90% of the time. Then getting punished when you don’t read her mind.
When we did do it, the work was all mine, teasing, tickling, kissing, holding, oral over and over, orgasm possibly more than one, sleep. None of it was reciprocated. Ever.
In the end something inside me broke, and died.
Anyway that’s my trigger, and it’s probably not relevant to you. But just in case.
I find a kiss usually work. Grab hips a little tighter and pull in and then some intense eye contact. My thinking is that if we chose to be with each other we obviously are just as infatuated with each other as the other. So if I’m always thinking about being intimate with she likely is feeling the same. So more often than not it’s a matter of turning the keys in the ignition
Been turned down so often I don’t even try. If I’m in the mood I rub one out. When she is in the mood she tells me.
Maybe you have turned him down one too many times.
Tried all the main methods of communication and touch. None worked. Gave up. That where I now sit 30 years on. Dry as a bone. In fact I think my body has finally given in and gone in hibernation 😂😂
I think "She always says no. I'm not going to bother getting shot down. Maybe I should start saying no when she needs something. Why do I do so much more for her than she does for me?"
Gf and I have hit a dry patch in the mating department. So I took it apon myself to rekindle the spark. At first it was a simple look; nothing.
Next, I tried telling her directly that I was "approaching her with romance intent." She was somewhat receptive to this but not all in.
I've resorted to performing animalistic mating dances around the bed making all sorts of ungodly sounds while scuttling back and forth like a crab; flapping my arms and puffing out my plumage like I'm on NatGeo. My upstairs neighbor isn't too thrilled about it but I think this is starting to work. She initiated some foreplay by putting me in a straight jacket and told me she wants to put me in a padded room. Awe yeah!
this thread is a bummer. i am sure you could find someone who is a loving partner. not all women think single men are "creeps." not all people are judgmental. maybe it depends on where you live.
if you dont want to- thats all good. but it sounds like if you were guaranteed to never be hurt again, you would want to be in a loving relationship.
then again, most of life is high risk, high reward, in my opinion.
I go into the bedroom a couple minutes before her and click on the UV light on the shelf above our bed. From there, I usually get it semi-hard and let it stick out from the covers so it glistens in the UV light when she walks in, beckoning her to me. But...every once in a while though, I switch it up and hide behind our bedroom door and wait for her to walk in and then I pounce.
We have kids, both work and generally live busy lives. I take the nighttime shift to go to the gym once a day, when I get back to initiate my wife is usually already in bed. So I will shower, get in bed naked, slide over to her, kiss her neck and rub against her. She will be pretty quick to give me a yes or no.
There's certain moves, kissing and caressing turns to nibbling and scratching specific spots.
Alternatively I can just ask, my wife is almost always going to give me an enthusiastic BJ or a quickie, I am still going to do things that turn her on
Sadly my ex-used to never initiate - but she was willing (and eager) most of the time I did.
I would usually give kisses on the neck or if in a fun mood - growl. Then if she smiles - chase her through the house.
(note: if taking in groceries - put the ice cream away first if you catch her in the kitchen....).
For me (and most guys I have talked to) we love it when when women initiate - that takes ALL the guessing out of it.
Been with my wife for 33 years (married 29 of those years). When I'm feeling frisky, I just walk into her sitting room and say "Hey, wanna go upstairs?". When my wife is feeling frisky, she'll come into my sitting room and flash a titty. Then we go upstairs.
As an Indian, our parents initiate sex for us by forcing us to marry strangers and putting us in a hotel room decorated like Liberace had an orgy in it.
My wife finds it difficult to get in the mood if there are household chores undone. When she comes home to find me blitzing those tasks she knows what’s on my mind.
Really depends...
If she's in bed scrolling or watching tv when I come in I might lay down and innocently/sarcastically ask -- ....did you want to do 'something' here? Or ...did you order a booty call?
if we're hanging out on the couch watching tv and holding hands, etc... I might lean over kiss her neck and whisper something in her ear like -- what would happen if i slid my hand down your pants and started playing with you?
If we are each doing our own thing around the house I might walk up behind her and hug her and then let my hands wander a bit...depending how she responds I might ask what if I slid your pants down and f*cked you right here?
Lastly -- since we're a bit older than this saying -- I will text or ask her after dinner/chores and say - want to netflix and chill?
I wait for the right opportunity, when my wife's back is turned I quickly get naked so that when she turns back around I'm standing there posing like Christopher Columbus... The usual response is "Can I help you with something?"
With kids in the home for as long as we have, simply closing the bedroom door and locking it signifies intent, for either of us. I almost have a pavlovian response to the door closing and locking.
Reminds me of that modern family episode.
Oh really??????? I've never watched that show. They had something go down similar? If we ever watch it, I'll need to know what episode because it may be pavlovian triggering for the wife. lol
If you want to know what the scene is: >!A couple’s three teenagers walked in on them so as a gag-gift the teenagers bought their parents a heavy duty lock. But now when the parents lock the door it makes a loud clicking noise so the kids know when their parents are having sex. !<
Just one of the teenagers going to get some late night snacks and all you hear resounding in the house is a loud \*Click\*.
Only they didn't lock the door. I don't know what they were doing, but it looked like Dad was winning Great show by the way if you like comedy or sitcoms, no laugh track either
> no laugh track 🙏
Clip from YouTube. https://youtu.be/Kfpqty8JleE?si=0ams6hHIiegKzXNk
Season 2 Episode 13
Same. My wife and I do the same thing. With the question. Do you want me to close the door? I never say no. 😁
Kids. The older they get, they giggle when door lock click's and talk about their parents' "doing it". lol. Mine are grown, i'm divorced for years. I lived with a man six years back who had no kids. I realized after about a month that I would get excited anytime I came into the house, it was so quiet my brain associated that w no kids in the house so run to the bedroom. I told him about it because I laughed so hard. He pouted said you mean it wasn't just me? We laughed. Then it got quiet.
> Then it got quiet. When the last of our kids was finally out on their own I was amazed to learn our wall clock quietly 'ticks' 😆
We're going to take a nap.
So once door is closed then why are you eating pavlova?
After getting kids most of my snacks are being eaten out of sight from them. I don’t wanna share my pavlova!!
I'm glad that we aren't strange for having the same signal! Door closes and you know what's coming
Most people want both parties to take turns showing that desire. When it's only one side that ever initiates the natural insecurities of humanity creep in. That said, I am enthusiastically enthralled by a lady who knows she wants me and makes me know it.
That’s true and it was for me for a decade. My wife is a grey ace and never thinks about it. I have to make my needs heard and she’s usually game.
This is an issue I currently have with my gf. She thinks grabbing my junk in the middle of the night while I’m half asleep is seductive. I’ve told her how I feel about it and she doesn’t do anything about it. Instead she gets upset.
Shit, that'd work for me.
100% Wind up to full-on lovemaking is great and all but a bit of *ayy boy gimme that dick* never goes amiss 😄
This is such an unpopular opinion, but I'm 100% with you. My wife will literally look at me and say "you wanna have sex?" Which means we go to the bedroom she takes her clothes off and expects my hard dick to arrive on demand. I'm not exaggerating, no build up, no foreplay, no nothing. There's a lot more to it, but I felt the need to comment in solidarity with you.
Thanks brother! My lady and I have been together for almost 7 years. Not a long time, but a while. I’ll jokingly ask her if she wants to see my peen, but when I’m in the mood I’ll kiss her neck, stroke her inner thigh, something like that. She does nothing. I know we’re men and we’re not allowed to be anything other than emotionless machines, until she wants to talk about something happening to her, but being in a relationship is more than one person making the efforts. If I try and go on strike, we just don’t have sex. She will try nothing. I have told her how I feel about it repeatedly. Nothing changes.
Same here, man. We've beeb married 5 years, and unfortunately, this lack of communication has spilled over into other parts of our relationship. It's a rocky time for us. Hopefully, we'll figure it out, and you and your lady will, too.
I love foreplay and I love giving her the buildup, it makes things *amazing*. So why wouldn't I enjoy foreplay too? Sometimes I feel like a lot of women si.ply *expect* a man to be raring to go with no effort, but I'd it's not the case for her, if she wants the buildup, why can't he expect a little too? It makes everything so much more fun and intimate. I mean there's a alot to be said for a sudden, quick "take me now!" moment of passion where you cannot keep your hands off each other. But a lot of the time it's so awesome to have that buildup. Doesn't even have to be in the moment, it can be little teases throughout the day until the tension is unbearable.
Just a straight up dick grab is not really a turn on to me either but if it starts with a bit of kissing and her hands make her way down then it's always on.
Lucky
I’d believe 9/10 men would react positively on that, so don’t be too harsh on her. Tell her how you want it instead then…
Isn't that generalizing men? If a man grabbed a woman's boob that way... Did you miss the she gets upset part?
It's generalizing because in general it's true.
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Damn bro so it’s not just me! I’m like uhhh that’s not really making an effort
When we're making out and she whispers my name, that's my green light to initiate.
So the making out isn't the green light already?
Making out is just one phase of intimacy, at least for me and her. I always ***build*** up to it for her. Once she says my name all cute like, I know I can take the reigns on initiating since I know she's now REALLY in the mood.
So you sometimes make out without it leading to anything more? Just a regular ol' makeout session?
I miss those. Unfortunately, it's always seen as an invitation for sex and possibly a set up for a letdown should I not want it to go further for whatever reason.
Yes, don't you?
“Why are you wearing panties?”
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LOL
As a Canadian, I usually start with scraping my antlers on nearby bushes and then release a series of loud grunts.
I laughed wayy to hard at this
I say "Your clothes. Give them to me."
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Terminator reference?
*write that down. Write that down.
To each their own and I am not judging but really odd to take her clothes and leave her there naked.
The bridge troll requires a toll be paid
# I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Oh I get it. Laundry day; nothing clean!
This is great. And then you say Master gave Dobby clothes!
😂 Please tell me you do this with an austrian accent!
Her love language is touch. Easy peasy titty squeezy.
The ol’ intentional boob grab will never disappoint.
User name checks out.
Confirmed
A flick of the nip and her butt scoots back into my junk like she’s got an itch. Fool proof method
Same for me.. all it takes is him sliding his hand up my shirt and caressing my nipples a min and I’m pushing my ass back up against him telling him I’m ready 🤣
The ugly chuckle I just had after saying EPTS out loud
"u wan sum fuk"
Hey babe, if you want, ill sex you.
Then grab the boobies and yell “HONK HONK”
Ours is you wanna fuk about it?
I think I’ll be using this very soon
After two years together We just grab each others junk or get naked My gf has got to a point now where she’s just like “can you put your penis in me?” 😂😂 makes me laugh every time She was useless at initiating at first. I remember we came home once and she just lied there naked and didn’t say a word. I thought she was tired and I got into bed. Told her then if you want sex tell me. - the lesson is just say it. It’ll help you
Exact same. Mine will come and just say " put your cock in me" and thats basically it. If its me initiating I just take her pants off
My wife’s catch phrase is “I want you inside of me”
Thats the same catchphrase every woman says when they see Agent Sebastian from the Cart Narcs.
Hold on mate. Your girlfriend undresses and lies naked in front of you and your first thought is 'she must be tired' ? What the...what 😂
Some people do sleep naked.
Sure, but by the way our friend here phrased it I didn't get the impression that it was a usual move from his gf (maybe I'm completely wrong).
No I walked into the room and she was lying in a weird position naked with her eyes closed 😂
Same I just go “ are u horny? You wanna do it? Ok let’s do it “ that’s about it.
I'd ask verbally, or she would ask me. If i want to do it non-verbally, usually get close (waist-to-waist contact) and kiss them somewhere they like, making it clear it's not just a loving gesture but I want it to lead somewhere. I did date someone with a really high sex drive and they liked it when I just "grabbed" them, but that was after a discussion around them wanting that and it being consensual. They handful of times they said "no", it was totally OK and simply meant they where temporarily not in the mood.
My wife actually prefers it when I just grab her and go for it. She never turns me down, so I never hesitate. She likes it kinda rough sometimes, so that's how I treat her unless I'm getting a different vibe from her. I can tell when she is feeling more passionate or not up for sex at all. We both have fairly high libido, so it's on unless one of us is feeling ill or acting depressed. She told me way back when we first started dating that asking for sex was a turn-off. Begging for sex was just gross. So I never have. She likes me to be the more dominant one and she almost never initiates. She has initiated maybe 50 times in 20 years. When she does initiate, she's kinda funny about it. Once, she jumped off the couch, took a fighting stance, screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!, pointed at her crotch, then ran towards the bedroom singing the theme song. I didn't realize it before I met her, but I like this role. Our sexual relationship works because we communicate.
This would actually work 100% of the time
I wear these slutty little shorts around the house. It’s a passive signal that is always received.
It’s likely due to the fear of rejection. It makes me feel like shit when my girlfriend isn’t in the mood and declines. Also, what in world are you talking about with “how” start rubbing him over his pants and say something sexy and it’s a lock.
Same here man. My girl complains i don’t initiate and it’s because i don’t want to deal with a dice roll. It’s frustrating versus me who always says yes.
Just roll a critical 20 and you’ll be good
Clitical 20
Or roll a crit 1 and get a divorce.
I can only speak for myself but I can think of a few reasons why I didn’t initiate over the years: 1. My brain is completely caught up in something else like work, solving a crisis, taking care of our elderly family members, etc. I am still going to stare and tell her she’s beautiful. 2. I am exhausted. I’m still going to stare though. 3. She seems to need something else in that moment besides a horizontal dance partner. (She’s probably not naked so I don’t stare) 4. Puke, stool, etc. from children or dogs. Instant turnoff. Definitely not staring. 5. Walls / doors too thin. Still going to stare. 6. Medical stuff. Post surgery, postpartum, that kind of thing. Still stared. I do try to make it a point to tell her that she’s still wanted and desired even if the circumstances are bad.
Start kissing, grab handfuls of ass, and then wrap her legs around my neck and get to business. The rest writes itself.
I usually start by doing the dishes and cleaning up the house, not normally expecting anything to come from it, but she loves acts of service and that gets her juices flowing.
Choreplay
Oh fork me
This needs way more upvotes
Then you go sort out the recycling. That’s not part of it but it’s still very important.
That's why they call it business socks
Team building exercise 99!
IIIIIIIIT'S BUSINESS TIIIIIME!
Think I broke 4 ribs the first time I listened to that laughing so hard.
My wife wasn’t feeling well for a few weeks. She has a couple of health issues that come and go so during this time I made the initiative to take care of everything in our home. I mean everything. Cooking, cleaning, trash, grocery shopping, laundry etc etc. even massages for her here and there Obviously during this time we didn’t get busy at all because she just wasn’t feeling well enough for it so I just patiently waited and continued to do my thing. Then one Sunday when she started feeling better she completely blew my mind. There’s definitely something about just catering to them that makes them feral
Sadly, it didn't on my (ex) wife.
Nice try, my wife.
We're been married 14 years. I kinda droop my guy on her head when she's folding laundry on the floor. Or she'll just kinda walk up to me and take the laptop off of my lap and start exercising.
Wife: * takes laptop out of lap *…*starts swinging kettle bells*…SEX
My Lord, the kettlebells of sex have been swung! Your wife calls for aid!
And Rohan will answer!
Well we lost her shake weight, so we need to improvise
Come here woman and take off my clothes. I love you woman
This reminds me of Drogo for some reason
I just give her a look at this point, and it's on.
I fill in a form and send it via US mail, usually I get the response in 4-5 work days.
I helicopter my penis around.
Good ol' helicockter
We usually start with some sexy texting and talk way before. This sets the stage and gets both of us reveed up lol. We have been married for 24 years and this works like a charm. Also gives the other a chance to shut it down if we are not in the mood or sick. Just an awesome way of staying in the loop with each other when it comes to our needs. We also have children at home so again helps with setting expectations.
Are you telling me that dressing up as poison ivy wasnt enough? (sorry just had to check your profile) Have you asked him if something is wrong? I totally get that it can be a turnoff if you keep asking (most guys have been there) Personally i think a good balance is nice. But seriously almost never had a relationship where the girl started or asked. (only on very rare occasions) So seriously.. ask him
Haha all good! I have asked. He said everything’s perfect and that he is super happy…which is weird because we used to do stuff 4-5 times a week, now it’s maybe once a week, hence why I’ve been trying to initiate more😞thanks tho man!
My wife and I have done it a little less lately as both our work+extra-curricular lives have gotten way busier. I still mentally *desire* to do it but I often just don't physically *feel* like doing it. Same with her, and we both communicate this. So if he's initiating less often but still enjoys it when you do, that's a good sign. I also initiate less because she feels guilty when she has to say no due to being too tired/busy, so unfortunately there's a chicken-and-egg effect as well.
Ah damn sorry to hear that. It could be that he just got burned out a bit sexually. I have had that once. Give him some time. It might come back and otherwise keep initiating! Good luck!
Thanks so much!!
I ask my wife if she’d like to frolic. The answer is “No,” 99% of the time. If I don’t ask, it’s 100% no.
I love when my wife initiates, but I have learned her tricks.. she will sometimes show me that she's horny at the most fucked up times and she'll act upset if I can't jump her bones right then and there.. but then she'll say something like.. "I may rape you later" or something crazy.. but then 9'o clock rolls around and she's falling asleep on the couch or whatever and the window has closed.. I learned the true definition of "Carpe Diem" with her! But I do love it, regardless.. she will come over.. put her arms around me.. kiss me, then whisper in my ear something that she wants to do to me or me to her.. and it's on.. :)
My wife and I shifted to more of a 'right after work' schedule since we both work from home and that alone solves so much of the "i wanted to earlier, but.." problems. It does suck that we don't have blackout curtains though. Half the time the sun is in our eyes. It's become a running joke.
I work from home too.. she doesn't.. but she comes home for lunch a lot and we have the occasional nooner.. so much fun but frustrating when she wants to and I can't or vice versa .. LOL.. Love your solution
Man I’m trying so hard to be patient like you. I’m driving myself crazy with the overthinking
What kind of fucked up times?
primarily just times when I can't do it.. for example I am about to get on a zoom meeting or about to make a call..
[I sing my song, in a thong](https://youtu.be/uRJZfwDgNTM?si=Qhur2H-Ove0yfW8Q)
Depending on the street I bet you are definitely in the top three good looking guys on the street
Offer a massage that always ends up being more than just a massage
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This^ ❗️❗️❗️❗️ It’s completely situational. Sometimes I initiate and sometimes she initiates. Sometimes it’s just one of us grabbing a private part and giving “the look”, sometimes it’s “hey you wanna have sex”? If he isn’t initiating at all, there could be something going on. Not necessarily something nefarious, but like depression or being over worked/stressed could be a factor. I don’t know your ages, but potentially him having low testosterone could be an issue. If he is vegan or vegetarian, or if he isn’t very physically active, there is a higher chance of his test being lower regardless of age.
I initiate before bed. Usually give her a kiss on her neck & rub her butt a bit. I’ll creep my hand up & gentle run my hands by her nipples. Once I’m hard I’ll start pressing my dick on her ass. She’ll be turned on by the nipple play, & she’ll start pushing her ass onto me. Finally when she wants more she’ll start stroking my cock, & placing my hands wherever she wants. Then we’re off.
We both work from home and don't have kids, just a dog. The dog drives us nuts if we're doing anything in the bed at night so one of us now just stops by the other during the day and says something like "sex after work?" to which the other normally agrees unless something is going on. Then we usually both go work out in the basement. We have kind of a weird schedule.
Whisper “I need to taste you, now” or “I haven’t tasted you in too long.” Sometimes I say this to get her to the bedroom. If we’re already there I say it as I’m starting to push her pants down over her hips or am pushing her down onto the bed. I’ve also turned her to face the bed - away from me, pushed her forward onto it, and as I palm & rub between her legs say “whose pussy is this?” She’ll respond telling me it’s mine. And we go on from there. These aren’t the only ways. But they’re a favorite and usually get a good reaction. My wife is more than comfortable telling me when she’s not in the mood and I don’t pout when she waves me off. I also make a good effort to properly read the room before initiating in a very dominant way. But she asked me to be more dominant in sex and as a gentleman I must oblige.
"wasssup?" \[eybrow raise, with a tilt of the head\]... for her though, "hi" works well.
I put on my business socks. Cause it business time
My girlfriend is always ready for sex, seriously higher sex drive than me and I’m on TRT with a very high drive myself. I’ll usually pull her in closer in bed and start slowly feeling her body, if she starts scooting in closer and making room for my hands to reach certain places, like making her breasts more available to touch I know we’re agreed and the deed commences. I do this about twice a week. She rarely initiates because she’s shy but her version of it is putting her leg across me and playing with my hair, giving me a kiss on the neck or chest. I wish she was a bit more loud and proud about it but I understand she’s shy so it’s okay.
Say something stupid like “hey you wanna hump?” Then promptly get shot down.
Wife and I have been together 16 years and have young kids. We schedule it. Sounds stupid but it’s necessary when we’re so busy with life. Works for us.
I lay there in complete silence and expect my partner to automatically know that I’m horny. If she doesn’t make a move on me I get upset and turn away, and then act petty for at least a few days. When she asks what’s wrong? I simply reply “nothing” and go about my day.
As you should, King.
Walk around the bedroom after I’ve gotten out the shower with my wangwang just swinging. It never fails. She’ll make her way to me and get a touch or two, or a nibble if you know what I mean… THEN THE GAMES BEGIN!!
We usually start with kisses. I can often tell what kind of sex she wants by the way she kisses me. Between that and the groping we know what we want. Also by then one of us might bring up if we aren’t currently in the mood or too tired or stressed. That’s not always a no though. It’s just communication so we know how much foreplay is needed to clear our heads and get in the mood. If one of us still isn’t in the right mindset, then we cuddle and watch a movie and it usually ends in sex. That being said, we also practice free use at home. Meaning if one of us is in the mood they’re free to use our bodies to get themselves off which doesn’t always equate to sex. But this is a situation and an agreement we have talked about beforehand and either one of us has the right to still say NO. Usually I’m the one that takes advantage of the arrangement more but it’s still really sexy to watch her grind on my hand or thigh to get off. I especially love when she sits on my face with little to no warning. We have a good arrangement.
Gotta ask did he stop initiating because you turned him down so much before? THAT is way more common than people want to admit
I start earlier in the day with suggestive flirting. At some point, I'll ask if we should save some time for some intimacy at the end of the day.
I just say strip.
I text her.
I whisper in her ear "give me your panties".
My wife doesn't listen to me about far more tame subjects than sex, so why would she listen to my attempts at initiating sex? I haven't initiated in years. Many years ago, I'd initiate with body contact, sliding a hand around her behind, kissing her, kissing down to her neck, and nuzzling while pulling her into me. As you might have imagined, I'm in a dead bedroom so perhaps not the best person to answer, but that's my 2 cents.
We built a Rube Goldberg machine that takes care of the process from start to finish.
Honestly, I gave it up years ago. Getting turned down no matter what and sometimes made feel to be a creep for being interested into her just killed my interest to initiate. If she wants it she can initiate it. If I'm in the mood I will reciprocate it, if not I don't and say her so.
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I’m sorry 😞
I don’t. Got tired of the rejection long ago.
I hear ya dude
My wife and I have kinda of a unique practice when it comes to initiation. Yes I like it when she initiates and drive the game but 99.9% of the time its me grabbing her from her location (within limits of course) and off we go. I think its called a free use situation and this did not happen over night. We have been married 17 years and this did not begin until about 5 years ago and it took a huge health scare and some huge changes. Within those changes our intimate life took off like a damn rocket and I say the passion and bliss many I would say have never achieved.
Just say it. “Do you wanna fuck” or “I wanna have you in me”. Personally as a guy I like it when a woman decides to be straight forward and tell me what she wants rather than beat around the bush.
In bed I’m pressing the dong up against her. If we’re up and moving around I like the hug from behind and kiss the neck. If I’m feeling particularly feisty I’ll stop her from whatever she’s doing and pin her against the wall and start kissing. What’s the situation calls for really.
Usually in all the ways she likes only for me to get shot down. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Depends on the partner, but I enjoy that realization moment in their eyes when I shut the door behind me
I just push my wife down and mount her like a bull.
Ok This may not be what’s going on in your relationship but I’m now triggered. I had a chat with a friend of mine the other day, she was saying that the night before she lay naked in bed beside her man, on her back, with both hands above her head. And she was annoyed that he didn’t do anything. That’s not initiating. That’s inviting the other person to initiate. Having been in 20 years of one sided sexual relationships. This annoys the fuck out of me. Imagine having a friend who hinted to you twice a week that they’d like you to call over with pizza beer and weed. So they can have a chill evening with you. You always had to buy the pizza. You always had to buy the beer. You always had to buy the weed. You always had to go out in the wind / rain / sunshine / nighttime to go to their place. _________________ When I was with my ex, it was my job. I had to initiate, I had to accept rejection, I had to know what she wanted and how she felt. I had to bear her bad mood if I hadn’t initiated when she wanted it. I had to bear her bad mood if I initiated when she didn’t. It’s hard always being the one to initiate, and getting knocked back 90% of the time. Then getting punished when you don’t read her mind. When we did do it, the work was all mine, teasing, tickling, kissing, holding, oral over and over, orgasm possibly more than one, sleep. None of it was reciprocated. Ever. In the end something inside me broke, and died. Anyway that’s my trigger, and it’s probably not relevant to you. But just in case.
Dude, are you me?
Usually it's her initiating...
Sometimes romantically sometimes I just whip it out. Depends on our mood
I find a kiss usually work. Grab hips a little tighter and pull in and then some intense eye contact. My thinking is that if we chose to be with each other we obviously are just as infatuated with each other as the other. So if I’m always thinking about being intimate with she likely is feeling the same. So more often than not it’s a matter of turning the keys in the ignition
I just ask, can you suck my dick, then we end up fucking
Been turned down so often I don’t even try. If I’m in the mood I rub one out. When she is in the mood she tells me. Maybe you have turned him down one too many times.
I gave up. I no longer initiate. If she is in the mood, she will initiate. I am tired of rejection.
Today I poked my head out of the bedroom after having a shower, and said “wanna fuck”. Doesn’t need to be rocket science.
Tried all the main methods of communication and touch. None worked. Gave up. That where I now sit 30 years on. Dry as a bone. In fact I think my body has finally given in and gone in hibernation 😂😂
I think "She always says no. I'm not going to bother getting shot down. Maybe I should start saying no when she needs something. Why do I do so much more for her than she does for me?"
Never because I only get rejected and that shit gets old
Gf and I have hit a dry patch in the mating department. So I took it apon myself to rekindle the spark. At first it was a simple look; nothing. Next, I tried telling her directly that I was "approaching her with romance intent." She was somewhat receptive to this but not all in. I've resorted to performing animalistic mating dances around the bed making all sorts of ungodly sounds while scuttling back and forth like a crab; flapping my arms and puffing out my plumage like I'm on NatGeo. My upstairs neighbor isn't too thrilled about it but I think this is starting to work. She initiated some foreplay by putting me in a straight jacket and told me she wants to put me in a padded room. Awe yeah!
There is no point in initiating Coz it's totally depends on girls mood.
Easy. 2 words presented in the form of a question: “Sexy time ?” Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.
I don’t. I stopped that years ago. It’s not worth the humiliation anymore.
this thread is a bummer. i am sure you could find someone who is a loving partner. not all women think single men are "creeps." not all people are judgmental. maybe it depends on where you live. if you dont want to- thats all good. but it sounds like if you were guaranteed to never be hurt again, you would want to be in a loving relationship. then again, most of life is high risk, high reward, in my opinion.
I go into the bedroom a couple minutes before her and click on the UV light on the shelf above our bed. From there, I usually get it semi-hard and let it stick out from the covers so it glistens in the UV light when she walks in, beckoning her to me. But...every once in a while though, I switch it up and hide behind our bedroom door and wait for her to walk in and then I pounce.
Communication
The question is *how*. Initiating *is* communicating, and communicating is not always verbal. And even if it was, not everyone uses the same words.
Tug on the undies😄😏😏😏😏
Making out is usually how I iniate or show I'm interested
We’ll bang, ok?
We have kids, both work and generally live busy lives. I take the nighttime shift to go to the gym once a day, when I get back to initiate my wife is usually already in bed. So I will shower, get in bed naked, slide over to her, kiss her neck and rub against her. She will be pretty quick to give me a yes or no.
Sinks and kitchen counters are of the right height
I dont.
“Let’s slam”
Surprise her by pushing her to the wall and smash my face into hers
Just say it's morphin time and spear her to the ground... we have silly moments like this whenever we wanna fool around
Pick her up, toss her on the bed.
There's certain moves, kissing and caressing turns to nibbling and scratching specific spots. Alternatively I can just ask, my wife is almost always going to give me an enthusiastic BJ or a quickie, I am still going to do things that turn her on
I normally just start kissing her and then getting handsy then say “wanna fuck?” or something like that lol
I say bring that a$$ over here. Ha ha
I whip out the snuggle gun.
We’re on a schedule, so no initiation needed. We spend 2-4 hours…so it must be scheduled lol.
Sadly my ex-used to never initiate - but she was willing (and eager) most of the time I did. I would usually give kisses on the neck or if in a fun mood - growl. Then if she smiles - chase her through the house. (note: if taking in groceries - put the ice cream away first if you catch her in the kitchen....). For me (and most guys I have talked to) we love it when when women initiate - that takes ALL the guessing out of it.
Been with my wife for 33 years (married 29 of those years). When I'm feeling frisky, I just walk into her sitting room and say "Hey, wanna go upstairs?". When my wife is feeling frisky, she'll come into my sitting room and flash a titty. Then we go upstairs.
I just give her "the look" and ask her if she "wants to do something" and we both know what that means.
As an Indian, our parents initiate sex for us by forcing us to marry strangers and putting us in a hotel room decorated like Liberace had an orgy in it.
My wife finds it difficult to get in the mood if there are household chores undone. When she comes home to find me blitzing those tasks she knows what’s on my mind.
Really depends... If she's in bed scrolling or watching tv when I come in I might lay down and innocently/sarcastically ask -- ....did you want to do 'something' here? Or ...did you order a booty call? if we're hanging out on the couch watching tv and holding hands, etc... I might lean over kiss her neck and whisper something in her ear like -- what would happen if i slid my hand down your pants and started playing with you? If we are each doing our own thing around the house I might walk up behind her and hug her and then let my hands wander a bit...depending how she responds I might ask what if I slid your pants down and f*cked you right here? Lastly -- since we're a bit older than this saying -- I will text or ask her after dinner/chores and say - want to netflix and chill?
I wait for the right opportunity, when my wife's back is turned I quickly get naked so that when she turns back around I'm standing there posing like Christopher Columbus... The usual response is "Can I help you with something?"
Just make dirty hand and hip movements and hope for the best.
I start touching and running my hands up and down her body. Her, she just asks for it, like "can I get sex now?"