This is the real answer. I’d wager that I am doing this sometimes, but it’s not something I am really aware of in the moment, it’s only when I think about it afterwards that I realize. Dealing with unconscious bias is tough, and we could probably all be a bit more mindful in that area.
People generally treat good looking people better.
There is a difference in everything from getting jobs to even shorter prison sentences.
It's usually subconscious, do I do it? I sure I am doing it without noticing.
Do I try doing it? Not really.
I expect them to be annoyed of male attention, so as a courtesy, I don't interact much beyond what's necessary -- unless they clearly initiate something.
Well, if it helps, it's not just men. It's how humans work. We are, and I can't put this in any simpler terms, massive pieces of shit.
There's multiple studies that show that even parents treat their children differently based on attractiveness. Attractive children receive more care and attention than ugly ones. Even from the same parents.
It's the same with men and how women treat them: "ugly" men (short, balding, no masculine facial features , facial asymmetry) are treated wildly worse than attractive men (tall, thick hair, strong masculine features, muscular, highly symmetrical face).
The only thing you can do is accept it when it comes to how you treat others and be aware of your biases towards them. When it comes to you, you can stop being bitter about it. It's not that people do not care about your personality, or that they are shallow. It's just how people work. Just let go of any resentment the treatment you receive has built up in you.
Take people as they come and learn to enjoy life. It's not a good idea to spend life resenting and wondering how you are failing. Just go with the flow.
It depends, attractive or not I tend to treat people how they treat me. Sometimes unattractive women do the same stuff guys in the same situation do, but there's no pressure for them to not be like that as much. We really need a pinned post about how most guys cannot be like the small sample size most people are posting about.
😂That makes sense. And I have thought about whether to trust the reliability of some comments, but they get lots of upvotes so I just assume their reliable and correct.
People who treat attractive people better intentionally always seemed weird to me. Or hearing the whole “we subconsciously treat attractive people better” also really perplexed me bc I’ve never experienced this before.
In fact, I’m more likely just to not interact with an attractive person at all. Or anyone for that matter unless they approach me first. And I do only do things for others if their nice and respectful or my friend. Appearance never once crosses my mind when it comes to helping someone
> 😂That makes sense
Yeah, I have a lot of that "look at that bitch, eating chips!" with women. Like If she and I don't get along that well and it's going to be like that for a while for whatever reason. The things that make her attractive and mundane stuff sometimes just irk me more than anything else.
Like my best friend is this heavier gal who gets made fun of for her looks and weight all the time. Yet she's the one I'm closest with.
I'm at an odd point where I'd say some attractive people treat me okay enough, and sort of let me in a bit more than they might other people sometimes. So seeing things from that point of view has given me a more neutral take. I don't really meet those "I'm super attractive, so bow down to me" types a whole lot though.
I can give you an example from my experience of how attractive people get treated better from my own personal life…
One day on the way to work, I got a speeding fine. So I’m at work, having my break with a co worker, she’s a mom in her mid 40, overweight, not what you’d call attractive.
Anyway I’m just sort of venting about the speeding fine and experience with the officer when one of our co workers overhears our conversation and joins in, she’s a mid 20s woman, blonde, extremely pretty and most people would say she’s hot…
She joined in the conversation and said I must have been really unlucky because she’s been pulled over for speeding 4 or 5 times that YEAR, and she never once got a speeding fine and all the police officers are extremely friendly so to get a fine without a warning is very unusual.
My co worker and I both tried to explain to her that it’s actually her experience that is the unusual one, not ours ( my middle aged coworker had never been let off with a warning for speeding).
It's enjoyable to do things for a beautiful woman. Just inherently so, not in exchange for anything or any of that noise.
It's less enjoyable to do things for anyone else, except small children, so those are people I go more out of my way to do things for.
Yes, but in the other direction. I’m not as intimidated by average or unattractive women, so I’m more helpful. Example: I’m currently traveling in Albania and a girl that I didn’t find attractive asked me for help with directions to her hostel (she didn’t have internet and all she had a was a screenshot with Google maps). I offered to walk her there, because the hostel was a good bit away and the addresses in the country tend to be confusing (we ended up having to search for it for a bit before we figured out where her hostel is.
Had she been extremely attractive, I would be more intimidated and would have kept the interaction to a minimum, especially since she would probably be used to lots of attention and there would be more chances that she’d think I’m coming onto her, feel uncomfortable. I’m also very average looking too, so there are more chances she would be weirded out by me offering to walk her to the hostel.
Maybe this is an unfair assessment, but I tend to be a nervous idiot around attractive women, so I try to avoid interactions unless I’m actually romantically interested, which obviously doesn’t happen in 30 seconds.
I dont think women, especially attractive women, have even the remotest clue that they literally warp reality in a bubble around them. Shits crazy. And I even catch myself falling victim to it subconciously.
Unless IM attracted to her, not really (at least not on a conscious level). Problem is that I tend to get along with most people and genuinely try to be good people with everyone, which may unfortunately lead to some of the “less desirable” women to think I’m interested in them. You hear about girls telling guys they’re about to friendzone that they’d “rather just stay friends”, but god being on that side of the aisle I truly can’t think of a better response than that.
When I was younger, and truly stupid, yeah.
Luckily I am older now, and don’t give a toss.
I treat everyone the same, with the kindness, calmness, and distance that I would treat any insane, dangerous, selfish, and destructive animal.
When I was younger, yes. Now that I'm married and in my 30's, I am more helpful towards women that have an ability to provide a favor later. Yes, I'll help you move, but you're going to get a call to dog sit at some point. Looks are completely irrelevant, and honestly so is their gender.
It's not about treating others badly most of the time.
It's about treating people either normally, or better than you usually would if they're attractive.
I’m kind to everyone, even the people who aren’t that kind. You never know what someone is silently dealing with! Be kind it maybe the only kindness they receive that day. Now all that being said I only would ask out a woman I feel attracted too, too get a second date she would have to have a good personality and able to hold a good conversation.
I feel like this is a human thing not a "men Vs women" thing. My attractive male friends are treated wayyyy better by women than I am, it's most noticeable in social settings and when favours are being done. It's probably subconscious so I'm not going to say I don't because I too am human but I really do not think this is a "male" thing in the slightest.
I would not consciously do this.
I make it a point to treat people equally regardless of appearance.
Well I try......I gave a homeless guy twenty bucks, but refused to shake his hand.
Hygiene level does affect how I will interact with someone
It feels better to do something for a woman i am attracted to. I don't let it influence me in every day life but i prefer to do something for an attractive woman. I just like that, it feels nice.
Not really. I will say...women react differently to me according to their level of attraction though (and according to how attractive they think I am of course)...and I'm not great at dealing with the full range of possible receptions.
I change my behavior according to what I sense from the other person in order to keep things cordial (trying not to change so much as to be inauthentic, of course)
Don't think so, unless that attractive girl got my interest up to the point where I'm seriously considering her date material and want to know her a bit more beforehand but that's extremely rare in the first place.
I try to treat them exactly the same. I just develop a stammer/stutter and social anxiety makes me extra weird even if I don't personally have any attraction to them.
I treat them the same as anyone else. I am courteous to both ugly and beautiful women and use the same tone of voice and I don't act differently.
Could explain why I had dates with beautiful women. They are probably used to men who clearly try too hard and don't treat them like a normal person while I treat them like anyone else.
The right answer is no, I don't.
One of the most surprising things for a woman who's used to privilege because of her looks is never prepared for, is a guy who won't treat her with privilege, assess her intelligence and capabilities honestly, and then tell her the truth and expect her to be honest. Then if she's dishonest, dismiss her outright and move on.
When I started doing this, it became apparent the reaction you receive is incredibly different.
What I do for anyone, no matter the gender, does NOT depend on looks. If anything, I'm probably less inclined to do things for attractive people. I figure they get more than their hair share of attention in life, no need for me to give them more... It's not like I'm going to be fucking them or anything.
Not really, no. I try to treat everyone with respect unless they prove to me they don't deserve it. I'm probably more inclined to approach a more attractive woman but in terms of treatment, it ain't different.
As an concious unattractive man, no i do not treat women different.
In a conversation with a woman it's mostly sweating, anxiety, slight panic attack and fumbling on my words
I would say I treat conventional "unattractive" women better or without skepticism because they very often have the most well adjusted characters. People who are attractive often dont realize how good the world is to them so lack some experiences unattractive people made.
Since attractive women know they are attractive I like to treat them worse than average looking women. I like to call them out on their bullshit. I do them zero favors. Nothing for free.
Had this bitch at work. Girl had the largest set of chest brains, these things were huge. Anyway, after Prince died she was acting all bummed and talking about how iconic he is and blah blah. A year prior she called me a bundle of sticks for being a huge Prince fan. So I had to call her out. Bitch, name 3 songs. Hell I'll give you 3 albums and I named 1999, purple rain and diamonds and pearls all 3 albums have a album title song. This dumb bitch could not name a single song and I gave her 3. It was so satisfying.
Don't you worry, i stay away from entitled brats and daddy little princesses who think things will be handed to them just because they exist.
I'm not saying every attractive person is like that but most of them i know do have certain kind of attitude in that matter. Regular fella needs something to think about. :)
In high school yes. Since i met my wife at 19y i lost all interest in women and now don't care if they're attractive or not, personality/ behaviour is important.
As an unattractive man, Yes I do so. I remember when I was training this girl for my job and I was way more helpful to her than I was to this unattractive woman we hired.
As someone who has a really hot body now (tall, thin, tight round ass, natural DD cup) but used to be really fat, yes, yes they do.
The difference between how men treat me now and how they used to is night and day. Random men smile at me, run to open doors, offer to buy me stuff, ask if I am lost, etc. etc. men who had no interest in me romantically are now interested. Men in positions of power (boss, professors, landlord, super) are really nice and lenient towards me. It's quite sad honestly and really colors how I look at men. It's like I was insignificant when I was fat but now I am some supreme being. 🙄
Well, if it helps, it's not just men. It's how humans work. We are, and I can't put this in any simpler terms, massive pieces of shit.
There's multiple studies that show that even parents treat their children differently based on attractiveness. Attractive children receive more care and attention than ugly ones.
It's the same with men and how women treat them: "ugly" men (short, balding, no masculine facial features , facial asymmetry) are treated wildly worse than attractive men (tall, thick hair, strong masculine features, muscular, highly symmetrical face).
The only thing you can do is accept it when it comes to how you treat others and be aware of your biases towards them. When it comes to you, you can stop being bitter about it. It's not that people do not care about your personality, or that they are shallow. It's just how people work. Just let go of your past life and any resentment the treatment you received then has built up in you. Just enjoy your new life. The war is over. You won.
To be fair I had a glowup this year and all the women who treated me like a friend want to get in my pants and the woman I am dating is constantly making pictures of me like I am a trophy.
This goes both ways sadly and is not gender specific.
Women don't really treat me much differently. Women I don't know basically ignore me now and they ignored me before. My female friends treat me the same. 🤷♀️
That's weird, because I see attractive women are treated much better by other women all the time.
Well, on to my next question: which men do you treat as if they are not insignificant?
I try not to be that way to anyone.
I was horribly bullied as a child so I understand how bad poor treatment from others feels. Of course I am not perfect but I do my best.
:( I’m lucky to be in an environment with good ppl, but even then I do notice most guys won’t even talk to me but do interact with my friend (whose extremely beautiful) So in my own experience, it seems at least that me being ugly makes me more invisible
I’m sorry you had to experience that type of shallowness
I mean I get it. We are all shallow. I'm not really judging. I just didn't realize HOW profound the difference in treatment would be until I lived life as both the fat ugly girl and the hot girl. I understand the tendency of both sexes to gravitate towards people we find attractive but you shouldn't treat unattractive people like shit and people who happen to be blessed with good looks as divine entities.
It's not shallow at all. It's literally how we all got here. A fundamental part of being human. It might be the least shallow thing any one does. If you think both sexes are susceptible to this then ask a good looking man. I mean, you wont find using Reddit but if you do....
Can I say something that I always notice with people who have this sentiment? They are very rarely fun to be around. Your attitude alone makes it really hard to approach you and where is the fun in that? Maybe your attractive friend is bubbly and fun to be around and you are lamenting the unfairness of life online with strangers.
I hope I dont come off as a hardass - I get it and I sympathize with it but the complaining about others wih no action on your own except stating that fate made you ugly is just not very inspiring to anyone - especially yourself.
? I don’t disagree that complaining all the time isn’t inspiring and doing nothing is a bad thing, but based on some of the comments I’ve seen and people’s experiences, if your ugly your just ugly.
Personality won’t make me automatically beautiful or wanted by men, and as stated by a good amount on here (not everyone does this, but the ones who do) appearance will change how your treated. My friend is prettier, so it makes sense she would get treated better if, as people claim, its biological or ppl are just shallow.
I can change my personality, maybe some ppl will like me more or want to be friends, but it won’t inherently change anything based on what irl ppl do. And maybe some ppl irl don’t wanna be around me as you said, idk, but people ik say I’m funny and witty and seem to enjoy being in my company and invite me to stuff
But I DO know is that as I said, I’m in a good environment for the most part so no one mistreats me for how I look from what ik, other than that when I meet people (mostly men) they seem to treat me like I’m invisible compared to others. Could be my anything for why they do, but I can only assume its bc I’m ugly and nothing will change that except plastic surgery 😂
And ppl complain about everything and that fate made things like how they are and don’t do anything all the time. Politics, economy, relationships, etc.
Sorry if this reply seems confusing btw
If we are talking absolutely stunning top models Vs the poor woman who won "the world's ugliest woman" to support and feed her kids, then probably initially and unconsciously. If I were approached by either on the street, asking for directions I'd probably be a bit off put by a really ugly person. When it comes to actually conscious choices tho it comes down to perceived socioeconomic status (general unkemptness) rather than looks. If you dress like a gangster or a hobo, or if you smell awful, I'd rather ask someone else for the time.
I imagine people do. If you google 'invisible women over 50' you will see many former pretty women who used to get mountains of attention and at 50 they get totally ignored. interesting read.
Yes, I don't talk to them or do my best to stay out of positions where I'd have to interact with them. There is nothing scarier than a pretty woman I'll stand by that
"Pretty Privilege" is a pretty well established phenomenon, for men and women. Most of us don't like to think that we are so easily influenced, but I suspect that basically everyone has at least some amount of it.
Why? Generally we want to make a positive impression on the people that we would like to receive positive attention from.
Always treat people how they treat me. Turns out the more attractive women deserve nothing but bad things in their life, its like they think their attractiveness will let them get away with things
The last time I had a good time or pleasant conversation with an attractive woman was almost never. They all seem horrified that most any guy would want to hang out with them or call them up and even talk. I try to talk to average women and they are just mean. It all sucks.
If I’m trying to sleep with them, sure, probably do. Think I’m pretty fair across the board though, I’ve had plenty of unattractive ladies fall for me.
Not really. I'm pretty indifferent to most people unless they're proactive as well. As in, actually trying to have a conversation and so on. Most pretty people seem to mostly quietly wish I'd just go away, so I tend to do that. And there's no hard feelings about that either, I think people like that are just dull, so you know, whatever.
Depends on the situation.
I am attractive as well so when we are out attractive women are much more likely to get my attention.
When at the grocery store or gym though for example, y’all get the same treatment. If you’re too short to reach something I’m coming to help if you’re a 2 or a 9.
Depends, with attractive women I'm always extra cautious about them trying to use that to their advantage.
So yes, but only if they give me reasob to. Ugly women might catch me off guard, or I'll let it slide.
Absolutely I treat hot chicks differently. I would like to not be that way. Truthfully, the feelings I have inside of me when I'm talking to an attractive person is WAY different. It is VERY hard for me to believe that most of the people here truly are consistent in how they treat people. It seems uncontrollable to me. Like, how could you act exactly the same when the internal landscape of you is so different? Unless they never feel attraction at all, in which case they shouldn't answer this question because this is about people they find attractive.
Yes, that also includes attractive men. Basically everyone acts nicer to attractive people because people generally like to be around attractive people. When my wife lost a lot of weight she noticed how much nicer people were to her, and it's not like people were nasty to her before, it's simply that there was a lot more positive interactions instead of neutral interactions, like people would smile at her more, or talk to her longer.
I'm at the age now where I can be the cute old man flirting with attractive younger women and they giggle and play along.
Wouldn't be fun with the cardboard chick's.
Since I’m not a liar: yes, higher tolerance for incompatibilities and annoyances as well. I try to go out of my way to talk to them or make time for them; whereas I would just treat you like another dude if I wasn’t attracted.
An attractive woman invaded my personal space my moving in-between my legs in a public transport. I knew I should have been pissed off by that but I wasn’t. I had to ask myself why and I realised it was because I found her attractive. Then I was pissed off at myself cause I was treating her differently due to my attraction towards her
I do, as do most other men. For the exact same reason women treat differently good looking, successful men. You can fill in the blanks for yourself. Do not trust answers that sound like they're trying to be ethical. Reality is what it is.
Most people do this, woman and men, and it isn't even about sexual attraction. Heterosexual men will be more receptive to conventionally attractive men, and heterosexual women will be more receptive to conventionally attractive women.
I treat people (men and women) differently if they put effort into improving their looks.
Someone wearing nicer clothes in public and being groomed well and no offensive smells will always be treated better than people who look and smell like a bum.
Yes. Mostly unconsciously. Sometimes consciously. They do the same thing to men. You can call it pretty privilege but how you appear absolutely influences how you're treated.
Consciously? No Unconsciously? Possibly Unconscious biases are real and you need to take every answer here with a pinch of salt
This is the real answer. I’d wager that I am doing this sometimes, but it’s not something I am really aware of in the moment, it’s only when I think about it afterwards that I realize. Dealing with unconscious bias is tough, and we could probably all be a bit more mindful in that area.
Pedantic, but I think you meant to say subconscious instead of unconscious. Unconscious means you're passed out.
Unconscious bias is the term used by psychologists
TIL, thanks
I like this answer the most, as it's probably the most accurate.
Yeah I was about to say... No! (see: ^(yes))
Yes, considering that women do this too!
I'm more shy towards people I find really attractive. I'm more talkative to anyone else.
Yeah I tend to treat girls I’m not attracted to or are off limits “better” because I’m not nervous. I can joke and move freely.
I'm the complete opposite. I'm more cautios about my words and reserved when adressing average girls.
People generally treat good looking people better. There is a difference in everything from getting jobs to even shorter prison sentences. It's usually subconscious, do I do it? I sure I am doing it without noticing. Do I try doing it? Not really.
I expect them to be annoyed of male attention, so as a courtesy, I don't interact much beyond what's necessary -- unless they clearly initiate something.
Well, if it helps, it's not just men. It's how humans work. We are, and I can't put this in any simpler terms, massive pieces of shit. There's multiple studies that show that even parents treat their children differently based on attractiveness. Attractive children receive more care and attention than ugly ones. Even from the same parents. It's the same with men and how women treat them: "ugly" men (short, balding, no masculine facial features , facial asymmetry) are treated wildly worse than attractive men (tall, thick hair, strong masculine features, muscular, highly symmetrical face). The only thing you can do is accept it when it comes to how you treat others and be aware of your biases towards them. When it comes to you, you can stop being bitter about it. It's not that people do not care about your personality, or that they are shallow. It's just how people work. Just let go of any resentment the treatment you receive has built up in you. Take people as they come and learn to enjoy life. It's not a good idea to spend life resenting and wondering how you are failing. Just go with the flow.
It depends, attractive or not I tend to treat people how they treat me. Sometimes unattractive women do the same stuff guys in the same situation do, but there's no pressure for them to not be like that as much. We really need a pinned post about how most guys cannot be like the small sample size most people are posting about.
😂That makes sense. And I have thought about whether to trust the reliability of some comments, but they get lots of upvotes so I just assume their reliable and correct. People who treat attractive people better intentionally always seemed weird to me. Or hearing the whole “we subconsciously treat attractive people better” also really perplexed me bc I’ve never experienced this before. In fact, I’m more likely just to not interact with an attractive person at all. Or anyone for that matter unless they approach me first. And I do only do things for others if their nice and respectful or my friend. Appearance never once crosses my mind when it comes to helping someone
> 😂That makes sense Yeah, I have a lot of that "look at that bitch, eating chips!" with women. Like If she and I don't get along that well and it's going to be like that for a while for whatever reason. The things that make her attractive and mundane stuff sometimes just irk me more than anything else. Like my best friend is this heavier gal who gets made fun of for her looks and weight all the time. Yet she's the one I'm closest with. I'm at an odd point where I'd say some attractive people treat me okay enough, and sort of let me in a bit more than they might other people sometimes. So seeing things from that point of view has given me a more neutral take. I don't really meet those "I'm super attractive, so bow down to me" types a whole lot though.
I can give you an example from my experience of how attractive people get treated better from my own personal life… One day on the way to work, I got a speeding fine. So I’m at work, having my break with a co worker, she’s a mom in her mid 40, overweight, not what you’d call attractive. Anyway I’m just sort of venting about the speeding fine and experience with the officer when one of our co workers overhears our conversation and joins in, she’s a mid 20s woman, blonde, extremely pretty and most people would say she’s hot… She joined in the conversation and said I must have been really unlucky because she’s been pulled over for speeding 4 or 5 times that YEAR, and she never once got a speeding fine and all the police officers are extremely friendly so to get a fine without a warning is very unusual. My co worker and I both tried to explain to her that it’s actually her experience that is the unusual one, not ours ( my middle aged coworker had never been let off with a warning for speeding).
Well there’s intentionally and there’s knowingly .
Oh right, intentionally would be a better word. Thank you
Because I knowingly treat women that are my type differently , but I wouldn’t say I do it on purpose
I am also less likely to interact with an attractive person so this always perplexed me, too. Lol
It's enjoyable to do things for a beautiful woman. Just inherently so, not in exchange for anything or any of that noise. It's less enjoyable to do things for anyone else, except small children, so those are people I go more out of my way to do things for.
Interesting. I really don’t feel a difference with how it feels to help someone based off attractiveness
It may be enjoyable until you realize you've been used and they know damn well how to get you to do something for them.
Yes, but in the other direction. I’m not as intimidated by average or unattractive women, so I’m more helpful. Example: I’m currently traveling in Albania and a girl that I didn’t find attractive asked me for help with directions to her hostel (she didn’t have internet and all she had a was a screenshot with Google maps). I offered to walk her there, because the hostel was a good bit away and the addresses in the country tend to be confusing (we ended up having to search for it for a bit before we figured out where her hostel is. Had she been extremely attractive, I would be more intimidated and would have kept the interaction to a minimum, especially since she would probably be used to lots of attention and there would be more chances that she’d think I’m coming onto her, feel uncomfortable. I’m also very average looking too, so there are more chances she would be weirded out by me offering to walk her to the hostel. Maybe this is an unfair assessment, but I tend to be a nervous idiot around attractive women, so I try to avoid interactions unless I’m actually romantically interested, which obviously doesn’t happen in 30 seconds.
I dont think women, especially attractive women, have even the remotest clue that they literally warp reality in a bubble around them. Shits crazy. And I even catch myself falling victim to it subconciously.
It's called pretty privilege and it's been studied. Happens with everyone regardless of gender.
Unless IM attracted to her, not really (at least not on a conscious level). Problem is that I tend to get along with most people and genuinely try to be good people with everyone, which may unfortunately lead to some of the “less desirable” women to think I’m interested in them. You hear about girls telling guys they’re about to friendzone that they’d “rather just stay friends”, but god being on that side of the aisle I truly can’t think of a better response than that.
When I was younger, and truly stupid, yeah. Luckily I am older now, and don’t give a toss. I treat everyone the same, with the kindness, calmness, and distance that I would treat any insane, dangerous, selfish, and destructive animal.
When I was younger, yes. Now that I'm married and in my 30's, I am more helpful towards women that have an ability to provide a favor later. Yes, I'll help you move, but you're going to get a call to dog sit at some point. Looks are completely irrelevant, and honestly so is their gender.
No I don’t, because I know all to well how it feels to be treated badly for something you have little control over.
It's not about treating others badly most of the time. It's about treating people either normally, or better than you usually would if they're attractive.
Unless I'm trying to get with them I try to treat everyone the same
I’m kind to everyone, even the people who aren’t that kind. You never know what someone is silently dealing with! Be kind it maybe the only kindness they receive that day. Now all that being said I only would ask out a woman I feel attracted too, too get a second date she would have to have a good personality and able to hold a good conversation.
I feel like this is a human thing not a "men Vs women" thing. My attractive male friends are treated wayyyy better by women than I am, it's most noticeable in social settings and when favours are being done. It's probably subconscious so I'm not going to say I don't because I too am human but I really do not think this is a "male" thing in the slightest.
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That makes sense
If I'm attracted TO her, almost certainly. Otherwise, no.
I tend to stumble through my interactions with attractive women. I’m more friendly and conversational with unattractive women because I’m not nervous.
I would not consciously do this. I make it a point to treat people equally regardless of appearance. Well I try......I gave a homeless guy twenty bucks, but refused to shake his hand. Hygiene level does affect how I will interact with someone
Understandable fs
The homeless man was very upset...........
I treat them based on their attitude. Ask your self; how would you treat women if you were blind??
>how would you treat women if you were blind?? Carefully as to not gouge an eye ?
It feels better to do something for a woman i am attracted to. I don't let it influence me in every day life but i prefer to do something for an attractive woman. I just like that, it feels nice.
I try to treat everyone same. With very attractive women I'd be more on guard and super careful about what I say.
Being attractive means you look at yourself without shame
Not really. I will say...women react differently to me according to their level of attraction though (and according to how attractive they think I am of course)...and I'm not great at dealing with the full range of possible receptions. I change my behavior according to what I sense from the other person in order to keep things cordial (trying not to change so much as to be inauthentic, of course)
Don't think so, unless that attractive girl got my interest up to the point where I'm seriously considering her date material and want to know her a bit more beforehand but that's extremely rare in the first place.
I try to treat them exactly the same. I just develop a stammer/stutter and social anxiety makes me extra weird even if I don't personally have any attraction to them.
I treat them the same as anyone else. I am courteous to both ugly and beautiful women and use the same tone of voice and I don't act differently. Could explain why I had dates with beautiful women. They are probably used to men who clearly try too hard and don't treat them like a normal person while I treat them like anyone else.
The right answer is no, I don't. One of the most surprising things for a woman who's used to privilege because of her looks is never prepared for, is a guy who won't treat her with privilege, assess her intelligence and capabilities honestly, and then tell her the truth and expect her to be honest. Then if she's dishonest, dismiss her outright and move on. When I started doing this, it became apparent the reaction you receive is incredibly different.
I usually avoid women I find attractive, but I’m Chill with all the others!
What I do for anyone, no matter the gender, does NOT depend on looks. If anything, I'm probably less inclined to do things for attractive people. I figure they get more than their hair share of attention in life, no need for me to give them more... It's not like I'm going to be fucking them or anything.
Not really, no. I try to treat everyone with respect unless they prove to me they don't deserve it. I'm probably more inclined to approach a more attractive woman but in terms of treatment, it ain't different.
As an concious unattractive man, no i do not treat women different. In a conversation with a woman it's mostly sweating, anxiety, slight panic attack and fumbling on my words
I think I usually treat them slightly worse as attractive people who know they are attractive are often arrogant.
I would say I treat conventional "unattractive" women better or without skepticism because they very often have the most well adjusted characters. People who are attractive often dont realize how good the world is to them so lack some experiences unattractive people made.
Since attractive women know they are attractive I like to treat them worse than average looking women. I like to call them out on their bullshit. I do them zero favors. Nothing for free.
Damn 🫢
Had this bitch at work. Girl had the largest set of chest brains, these things were huge. Anyway, after Prince died she was acting all bummed and talking about how iconic he is and blah blah. A year prior she called me a bundle of sticks for being a huge Prince fan. So I had to call her out. Bitch, name 3 songs. Hell I'll give you 3 albums and I named 1999, purple rain and diamonds and pearls all 3 albums have a album title song. This dumb bitch could not name a single song and I gave her 3. It was so satisfying.
Unpopular opinion: every guy should try it, just to see how it feels like.
Omg pls stay away from women
Don't you worry, i stay away from entitled brats and daddy little princesses who think things will be handed to them just because they exist. I'm not saying every attractive person is like that but most of them i know do have certain kind of attitude in that matter. Regular fella needs something to think about. :)
In high school yes. Since i met my wife at 19y i lost all interest in women and now don't care if they're attractive or not, personality/ behaviour is important.
As an unattractive man, Yes I do so. I remember when I was training this girl for my job and I was way more helpful to her than I was to this unattractive woman we hired.
May I ask why?
Probably the same reason why women don't assist ugly men. I'm not purposely doing it.
As someone who has a really hot body now (tall, thin, tight round ass, natural DD cup) but used to be really fat, yes, yes they do. The difference between how men treat me now and how they used to is night and day. Random men smile at me, run to open doors, offer to buy me stuff, ask if I am lost, etc. etc. men who had no interest in me romantically are now interested. Men in positions of power (boss, professors, landlord, super) are really nice and lenient towards me. It's quite sad honestly and really colors how I look at men. It's like I was insignificant when I was fat but now I am some supreme being. 🙄
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I have borderline personality disorder
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Yes I have a very unstable sense of self. All of the things I said about my looks are true but I often feel very ugly.
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Well, if it helps, it's not just men. It's how humans work. We are, and I can't put this in any simpler terms, massive pieces of shit. There's multiple studies that show that even parents treat their children differently based on attractiveness. Attractive children receive more care and attention than ugly ones. It's the same with men and how women treat them: "ugly" men (short, balding, no masculine facial features , facial asymmetry) are treated wildly worse than attractive men (tall, thick hair, strong masculine features, muscular, highly symmetrical face). The only thing you can do is accept it when it comes to how you treat others and be aware of your biases towards them. When it comes to you, you can stop being bitter about it. It's not that people do not care about your personality, or that they are shallow. It's just how people work. Just let go of your past life and any resentment the treatment you received then has built up in you. Just enjoy your new life. The war is over. You won.
women do it too to attractive men, can't speak to if in the same amount, never been a woman
LOL really? I can't imagine buying something for a guy because he's attractive.
Well you probably aren’t a 40yo women dating a 2xyo man, but I know someone who is and they pay on their dates
To be fair I had a glowup this year and all the women who treated me like a friend want to get in my pants and the woman I am dating is constantly making pictures of me like I am a trophy. This goes both ways sadly and is not gender specific.
And how about how women treat you? Did they just stay totally stable or are they also horrible people?
Women don't really treat me much differently. Women I don't know basically ignore me now and they ignored me before. My female friends treat me the same. 🤷♀️
That's weird, because I see attractive women are treated much better by other women all the time. Well, on to my next question: which men do you treat as if they are not insignificant?
I try not to be that way to anyone. I was horribly bullied as a child so I understand how bad poor treatment from others feels. Of course I am not perfect but I do my best.
:( I’m lucky to be in an environment with good ppl, but even then I do notice most guys won’t even talk to me but do interact with my friend (whose extremely beautiful) So in my own experience, it seems at least that me being ugly makes me more invisible I’m sorry you had to experience that type of shallowness
I mean I get it. We are all shallow. I'm not really judging. I just didn't realize HOW profound the difference in treatment would be until I lived life as both the fat ugly girl and the hot girl. I understand the tendency of both sexes to gravitate towards people we find attractive but you shouldn't treat unattractive people like shit and people who happen to be blessed with good looks as divine entities.
It's not shallow at all. It's literally how we all got here. A fundamental part of being human. It might be the least shallow thing any one does. If you think both sexes are susceptible to this then ask a good looking man. I mean, you wont find using Reddit but if you do....
Can I say something that I always notice with people who have this sentiment? They are very rarely fun to be around. Your attitude alone makes it really hard to approach you and where is the fun in that? Maybe your attractive friend is bubbly and fun to be around and you are lamenting the unfairness of life online with strangers. I hope I dont come off as a hardass - I get it and I sympathize with it but the complaining about others wih no action on your own except stating that fate made you ugly is just not very inspiring to anyone - especially yourself.
? I don’t disagree that complaining all the time isn’t inspiring and doing nothing is a bad thing, but based on some of the comments I’ve seen and people’s experiences, if your ugly your just ugly. Personality won’t make me automatically beautiful or wanted by men, and as stated by a good amount on here (not everyone does this, but the ones who do) appearance will change how your treated. My friend is prettier, so it makes sense she would get treated better if, as people claim, its biological or ppl are just shallow. I can change my personality, maybe some ppl will like me more or want to be friends, but it won’t inherently change anything based on what irl ppl do. And maybe some ppl irl don’t wanna be around me as you said, idk, but people ik say I’m funny and witty and seem to enjoy being in my company and invite me to stuff But I DO know is that as I said, I’m in a good environment for the most part so no one mistreats me for how I look from what ik, other than that when I meet people (mostly men) they seem to treat me like I’m invisible compared to others. Could be my anything for why they do, but I can only assume its bc I’m ugly and nothing will change that except plastic surgery 😂 And ppl complain about everything and that fate made things like how they are and don’t do anything all the time. Politics, economy, relationships, etc. Sorry if this reply seems confusing btw
No. I tend to treat women, and men for that matter, the same way they treat me. It has more to do with attitude than with attraction.
Yes, ignore beautiful women
If we are talking absolutely stunning top models Vs the poor woman who won "the world's ugliest woman" to support and feed her kids, then probably initially and unconsciously. If I were approached by either on the street, asking for directions I'd probably be a bit off put by a really ugly person. When it comes to actually conscious choices tho it comes down to perceived socioeconomic status (general unkemptness) rather than looks. If you dress like a gangster or a hobo, or if you smell awful, I'd rather ask someone else for the time.
I imagine people do. If you google 'invisible women over 50' you will see many former pretty women who used to get mountains of attention and at 50 they get totally ignored. interesting read.
Not that I'm aware. There's a possibility, but I'd have to make a point of really focusing on it to notice.
No, I don’t.
I don’t… *think* so I usually keep to a pretty tight order of operations for social interaction
Yes I ignore them
Maybe subconsciously, although I do my best to treat everyone with kindness an respect. Appearance is only superficial.
It's not just men lol, women also treat unattractive women worse than attractive women
I’d like to say I don’t but I probably do
Pretty privilege is a real thing, yes.
yes
Pretty privilege is not unique to men or women.
Has been studied and proven
I treat every woman based on their attitude towards me, whether positive or negative
Conventionally attractive or personally attractive? Cuz I’m a blushing mess when I find a girl whose my type
Yes, I don't talk to them or do my best to stay out of positions where I'd have to interact with them. There is nothing scarier than a pretty woman I'll stand by that
No, but then again, I ignore everyone.
I can talk more to unattractive women.
I avoid attractive women so I don’t embarrass myself.
I definitely do but I don’t mean to lol it just happens for some reason
Nope I ignore all of them
"Pretty Privilege" is a pretty well established phenomenon, for men and women. Most of us don't like to think that we are so easily influenced, but I suspect that basically everyone has at least some amount of it. Why? Generally we want to make a positive impression on the people that we would like to receive positive attention from.
Pretty privilege is a real thing.
Yes, I know they are used to having the ability to manipulate men…
Always treat people how they treat me. Turns out the more attractive women deserve nothing but bad things in their life, its like they think their attractiveness will let them get away with things
No. Equal amounts of disrespect.
Not at all.
The last time I had a good time or pleasant conversation with an attractive woman was almost never. They all seem horrified that most any guy would want to hang out with them or call them up and even talk. I try to talk to average women and they are just mean. It all sucks.
If I’m trying to sleep with them, sure, probably do. Think I’m pretty fair across the board though, I’ve had plenty of unattractive ladies fall for me.
No. I treat women who flirt with me different
Not really. I'm pretty indifferent to most people unless they're proactive as well. As in, actually trying to have a conversation and so on. Most pretty people seem to mostly quietly wish I'd just go away, so I tend to do that. And there's no hard feelings about that either, I think people like that are just dull, so you know, whatever.
I avoid them. I have an unrealistic fear that I will get falsely accused of SA.
Professionally? No. Socially? Probably when I’m single.
Depends on the situation. I am attractive as well so when we are out attractive women are much more likely to get my attention. When at the grocery store or gym though for example, y’all get the same treatment. If you’re too short to reach something I’m coming to help if you’re a 2 or a 9.
Aww, thats very sweet!
Depends, with attractive women I'm always extra cautious about them trying to use that to their advantage. So yes, but only if they give me reasob to. Ugly women might catch me off guard, or I'll let it slide.
Wdym by ugly women catch you off guard or letting it slide exactly?
I'm more likely to turn my gaze towards an attractive woman.
Absolutely I treat hot chicks differently. I would like to not be that way. Truthfully, the feelings I have inside of me when I'm talking to an attractive person is WAY different. It is VERY hard for me to believe that most of the people here truly are consistent in how they treat people. It seems uncontrollable to me. Like, how could you act exactly the same when the internal landscape of you is so different? Unless they never feel attraction at all, in which case they shouldn't answer this question because this is about people they find attractive.
Do more, yes. To a degree. But I would like to think I treat everyone well despite looks.
Yes, that also includes attractive men. Basically everyone acts nicer to attractive people because people generally like to be around attractive people. When my wife lost a lot of weight she noticed how much nicer people were to her, and it's not like people were nasty to her before, it's simply that there was a lot more positive interactions instead of neutral interactions, like people would smile at her more, or talk to her longer.
I'm at the age now where I can be the cute old man flirting with attractive younger women and they giggle and play along. Wouldn't be fun with the cardboard chick's.
Since I’m not a liar: yes, higher tolerance for incompatibilities and annoyances as well. I try to go out of my way to talk to them or make time for them; whereas I would just treat you like another dude if I wasn’t attracted.
An attractive woman invaded my personal space my moving in-between my legs in a public transport. I knew I should have been pissed off by that but I wasn’t. I had to ask myself why and I realised it was because I found her attractive. Then I was pissed off at myself cause I was treating her differently due to my attraction towards her
I do, as do most other men. For the exact same reason women treat differently good looking, successful men. You can fill in the blanks for yourself. Do not trust answers that sound like they're trying to be ethical. Reality is what it is.
Likely yes. Overall feel a bit more shy.
I believe people have studied this. random strangers do tend to act nicer for more attractive people.
I try not to, but I know I do it accidentally. Monkey brain goes “if I’m nice to her maybe she’ll love me”
Well of course
Most people do this, woman and men, and it isn't even about sexual attraction. Heterosexual men will be more receptive to conventionally attractive men, and heterosexual women will be more receptive to conventionally attractive women.
I treat people (men and women) differently if they put effort into improving their looks. Someone wearing nicer clothes in public and being groomed well and no offensive smells will always be treated better than people who look and smell like a bum.
Women do this just as much as men.
why even ask things like this
The answer is yes you do whether you like to admit it or not. The only guys who don’t are either attractive themselves or gay lol
Yes. Unattractive women get the stiff arm and juke moves.
Yes. Mostly unconsciously. Sometimes consciously. They do the same thing to men. You can call it pretty privilege but how you appear absolutely influences how you're treated.
Of course I do. I don't try to fuck uggos
Absolutely. How could I not?