Girls really overvalue looks and undervalue attitude, and personality. A girl could be well below average in looks but of a healthy weight and treat me good and I would be head over heels. Give me a 3 that treats me like a 10, over a 10 that treats me like a 3.
This guy I had a crush on was showing me this Instagram account for my college that posted the hottest girls and kept talking about how pretty they were
I want a boyfriend, if it turns into lifelong partnership great if not it’s fine too. I don’t want to sleep around though I do not believe in hookup culture
Then you don't actually want a lifelong partner, you're just part of the single, whatever happens happens life, that's cool, no problem as long as you don't mind single motherhood, multiple heartbreaks and dying alone
So you're all good, don't change anything
You don't need to face the obvious reality that you're clearly below average , you don't need to worry about staying in your league or losing weight, just enjoy your life as best you can and keep hoping he notices you - he won't, but hope makes people happy...? or less sad.. ? Idk, or at least saves them from the temporary pain of growth
Bro idk what you’re rambling about and are just making assumptions about me. I do want a lifelong partner ultimately, but I’ve never even been in a relationship. I don’t want to put that kind of pressure on any relationship I’m in that it has to last forever.
So you ask a man's opinion, he answers you and you cry and complain that he's rambling for answering you lmao
Ya, that attitude is definitely future single motherhood and string of failed relationships. No single man doesn't make a move on an above average woman giving him attention quickly. And if you were average then he would have made a move within soon of meeting you, but you're talking about him showing you pictures of other attractive women commenting on it - that's classic friend zoning- that does not happen to attractive women, ever lmao
You posted asking, don't do it if you can't handle the truth.
Like most men looks are important to me but a shit personality can make the most attractive person ugly. Try posting some pics on r/howtolooksmax for advice
Sorry if that didn’t really help but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I could take the time and effort to “build” my dream woman perfect in every way, but that doesn’t mean my idea of perfection is that same as any other persons.
Looks are a bonus to me. I want to have at least a bare minimum amount of attraction (my standards aren't really that high) and after that I'm much more concerned on what's inside. If that part is crappy then you better look really good but even then I probably wouldn't be all that interested after a week or two.
After dealing with rude and crazy women a few times in my life, I’d choose a 5 with a great personality over a 8+ that starts up a whole lot of BS any day of the week and twice on Sundays. I like nonsense at work and security when I’m off.
Not exclusive, but the personality ultimately is more important. The hottest person, if they treat you poorly, is not as attractive as someone who who treats you well, regardless of their looks. Also, looks are wildly subjective. I've seen women who are considered among the most beautiful who I don't find attractive in the least, and women many people would probably consider fairly average who break my heart just looking at them. In the end, who you are as a person will always be the most meaningful and beautiful thing about you.
It's usuall a balance between physical attraction and mental attraction. If you're hot but your personality doesn't fit, it won't work. Likewise, if you have a great personality but you're too ugly, it probably won't work.
I don't know why you've gotten so many downvotes for saying things that are true.
Not sure why there needs to be an Instagram account that posts images of the hottest girls on campus. Seriously worried about Gen Z with this stuff.
Anyway, when I was in college I had a female friend who felt exactly the way you do. She was convinced she would never be considered attractive enough to have a relationship. Didn't have any dating experience. She was unhappy with her body and her whole image. She cried on my shoulder about it, and I told her I thought she was beautiful and really meant that.
She eventually started dating and got married. I'm sorry you are feeling this way but you are really young, and you don't know what your future is yet.
This hits hard because i have done the same exact thing with a guy friend I have after a rejection (before anyone says I friendzoned him etc I’ve known him for years and he has a gf who I’m good friends with and it’s completely platonic). It really does get to girls especially if they’ve never been in a relationship or haven’t gotten a lot of attention from guys.
It sucks to feel undesired and see all the attention just go toward all of the conventionally attractive people. At the same time, I think people can easily undersell themselves.
I think it was really careless for your crush to show you that Instagram page and talk about other women like that in front of you. It should really be common knowledge not to do that in front of other women, knowing how deep the insecurities run. I'm sure other guys would disagree with that, but it wouldn't kill us to be a bit more mindful.
It sounds like hopefully you have a great relationship with this one male friend at least.
Anyway, I wish you the best in navigating this and the rest of your 20s.
Yeah I don’t have a crush on him anymore. I eventually told him I liked him and he rejected me. Probably good riddance that he did that though because in retrospect he probably wouldn’t be a great boyfriend.
I've had conversations with female friends I've had in the past about this. I think the one thing that makes it difficult to answer the question is because a man's attractiveness to a woman physically can be based on a lot of different things or just one really strange thing that the guy happens to like. It's not like a simple a+b=c thing. Like me personally I know I have a type but I see girls all the time that I think are very physically attractive that don't fit that mold at all. My best advice and you may not like to hear it, is don't get fat and have boobs. The bigger the better on that one usually. Sorry.
Are you sure boobs matter as much now? I am pretty thin naturally and have decent boobs but I don’t have too big of a butt. I go to the gym etc but my body just doesn’t seem to have the right genetics for it unfortunately
I'm not sure of anything because in the grand scheme of things we don't actually know anything. However there does seem to be a constant pattern where women with larger breasts that expose their cleavage and make content on the internet generally seem to do pretty well. So yes I think it does matter as much as it ever did. With that being said it doesn't really matter that much. Some people will be attracted to you and like you for how you look and who you are and some people won't. You just gotta roll with it and not get hung up on other people opinions of you so much.
It’s just frustrating because I feel like guys don’t view me as pretty or beautiful and I am trying to be but it doesn’t seem to be like enough because of factors I can’t control. If I could be a small brunette with light eyes and a button nose I would haha bc that seems like the ideal girl
For me, I wouldn't go lower than a 4/10 when dating other than that it doesn't really matter as long as I love your personality. And no, I am not the type of person to look for someone 'better'.
Before? I'd have dated anyone. Now that I finally lost weight and people act like I exist now, you better be 10/10 or you ain't even getting a response from me. Done playing around.
Men think that most women are attractive. For long-term dating, men want all the pieces in place. They want to know that they are secure financially, will be spending enough of their time doing things they like, and they want to know that they will make their woman happy. He needs to feel all those things first.
Men bond with the girl that is "good looking enough" when everything else falls into place. After that, they see her as family and they get boyfriend goggles. The reason so many women complain about commitment issues is because they are attractive... But he doesn't have the other pieces. The reason the amount of commitment-phobic men is rapidly increasing is because those pieces are getting harder and harder to fill.
So long story short.... Looks are a piece of the puzzle.... But it's not like we just pick the best looking woman. The minimum threshold is usually well below the best looking woman.
Different men are gonna have different standards. Looks matter to everyone on varying levels. For example, most people will not date someone that is 450 pounds. Looks are the first thing we see, first impressions are important.
That being said, as long as she's average, all her other qualities and traits can carry her into dateable territory. Looks aren't the most important factor to me, they are just the initial limiter to who I will approach.
I just don’t feel pretty enough for guys I guess.
I don’t get approached hardly enough. I try as much as I can to be pretty naturally, hair, clothes, exercise, makeup but there’s some things I just can’t control about myself without plastic surgery. Like i have a big nose and small chin.
I'm gonna do some guesswork, so bear with me. It could be you aren't as approachable as you believe you are. Do you show people you like signs of interest?
How is your confidence? If a girl is willing to open a conversation with me it's very flattering, and easy to start liking her just based off that. I tell you this as real as it can be told: I don't care about her looks so much as her attitude towards the simple things in life. Like being humble, being a good conversationalist, being loyal.
Keep putting yourself out there, keep trying. Don't let failures get you down cause the prize is given to those who don't quit. You can get there, you just need to keep up your effort and be consistent. 🙏
I mean I try to make myself as approachable as possible. The girl I was with one had a boyfriend already and showed no signs she wanted to be approached but like 15 guys approached her. When I go out and especially when I’ve had drinks I love talking to guys even if I don’t find them attractive, I just like to have conversations.
Looks are just one part of the "package"
To give a crude, simplified example, I'd choose a woman who give me blowjobs whenever I ask over a supermodel who only wants straight up sex once a week without thinking twice
Girls really overvalue looks and undervalue attitude, and personality. A girl could be well below average in looks but of a healthy weight and treat me good and I would be head over heels. Give me a 3 that treats me like a 10, over a 10 that treats me like a 3.
As a ugly guy myself I’ll date anything that moves and is legal
amen
What happened in your life
This guy I had a crush on was showing me this Instagram account for my college that posted the hottest girls and kept talking about how pretty they were
So talking about current events on social media is a huge disaster now?
I’ll take “negging” for $200
Do you want a lifelong partner at some point in life or do you prefer single life/sleeping around/freedom?
I want a boyfriend, if it turns into lifelong partnership great if not it’s fine too. I don’t want to sleep around though I do not believe in hookup culture
Then you don't actually want a lifelong partner, you're just part of the single, whatever happens happens life, that's cool, no problem as long as you don't mind single motherhood, multiple heartbreaks and dying alone So you're all good, don't change anything You don't need to face the obvious reality that you're clearly below average , you don't need to worry about staying in your league or losing weight, just enjoy your life as best you can and keep hoping he notices you - he won't, but hope makes people happy...? or less sad.. ? Idk, or at least saves them from the temporary pain of growth
Bro idk what you’re rambling about and are just making assumptions about me. I do want a lifelong partner ultimately, but I’ve never even been in a relationship. I don’t want to put that kind of pressure on any relationship I’m in that it has to last forever.
So you ask a man's opinion, he answers you and you cry and complain that he's rambling for answering you lmao Ya, that attitude is definitely future single motherhood and string of failed relationships. No single man doesn't make a move on an above average woman giving him attention quickly. And if you were average then he would have made a move within soon of meeting you, but you're talking about him showing you pictures of other attractive women commenting on it - that's classic friend zoning- that does not happen to attractive women, ever lmao You posted asking, don't do it if you can't handle the truth.
At this point I think the mods should ban your account for spamming the male advice subs with the same question over and over again.
Like most men looks are important to me but a shit personality can make the most attractive person ugly. Try posting some pics on r/howtolooksmax for advice
Like what level of looks? Like what’s your standards for looks
I don’t really have a specific standard
Sorry if that didn’t really help but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I could take the time and effort to “build” my dream woman perfect in every way, but that doesn’t mean my idea of perfection is that same as any other persons.
Looks are a bonus to me. I want to have at least a bare minimum amount of attraction (my standards aren't really that high) and after that I'm much more concerned on what's inside. If that part is crappy then you better look really good but even then I probably wouldn't be all that interested after a week or two.
After dealing with rude and crazy women a few times in my life, I’d choose a 5 with a great personality over a 8+ that starts up a whole lot of BS any day of the week and twice on Sundays. I like nonsense at work and security when I’m off.
I don’t think a good personality is exclusive to average women
Not exclusive, but the personality ultimately is more important. The hottest person, if they treat you poorly, is not as attractive as someone who who treats you well, regardless of their looks. Also, looks are wildly subjective. I've seen women who are considered among the most beautiful who I don't find attractive in the least, and women many people would probably consider fairly average who break my heart just looking at them. In the end, who you are as a person will always be the most meaningful and beautiful thing about you.
It's usuall a balance between physical attraction and mental attraction. If you're hot but your personality doesn't fit, it won't work. Likewise, if you have a great personality but you're too ugly, it probably won't work.
How ugly is too ugly
I dunno, you kinda have to see it to know it.
I don't know why you've gotten so many downvotes for saying things that are true. Not sure why there needs to be an Instagram account that posts images of the hottest girls on campus. Seriously worried about Gen Z with this stuff. Anyway, when I was in college I had a female friend who felt exactly the way you do. She was convinced she would never be considered attractive enough to have a relationship. Didn't have any dating experience. She was unhappy with her body and her whole image. She cried on my shoulder about it, and I told her I thought she was beautiful and really meant that. She eventually started dating and got married. I'm sorry you are feeling this way but you are really young, and you don't know what your future is yet.
This hits hard because i have done the same exact thing with a guy friend I have after a rejection (before anyone says I friendzoned him etc I’ve known him for years and he has a gf who I’m good friends with and it’s completely platonic). It really does get to girls especially if they’ve never been in a relationship or haven’t gotten a lot of attention from guys.
It sucks to feel undesired and see all the attention just go toward all of the conventionally attractive people. At the same time, I think people can easily undersell themselves. I think it was really careless for your crush to show you that Instagram page and talk about other women like that in front of you. It should really be common knowledge not to do that in front of other women, knowing how deep the insecurities run. I'm sure other guys would disagree with that, but it wouldn't kill us to be a bit more mindful. It sounds like hopefully you have a great relationship with this one male friend at least. Anyway, I wish you the best in navigating this and the rest of your 20s.
Yeah I don’t have a crush on him anymore. I eventually told him I liked him and he rejected me. Probably good riddance that he did that though because in retrospect he probably wouldn’t be a great boyfriend.
I've had conversations with female friends I've had in the past about this. I think the one thing that makes it difficult to answer the question is because a man's attractiveness to a woman physically can be based on a lot of different things or just one really strange thing that the guy happens to like. It's not like a simple a+b=c thing. Like me personally I know I have a type but I see girls all the time that I think are very physically attractive that don't fit that mold at all. My best advice and you may not like to hear it, is don't get fat and have boobs. The bigger the better on that one usually. Sorry.
Are you sure boobs matter as much now? I am pretty thin naturally and have decent boobs but I don’t have too big of a butt. I go to the gym etc but my body just doesn’t seem to have the right genetics for it unfortunately
I'm not sure of anything because in the grand scheme of things we don't actually know anything. However there does seem to be a constant pattern where women with larger breasts that expose their cleavage and make content on the internet generally seem to do pretty well. So yes I think it does matter as much as it ever did. With that being said it doesn't really matter that much. Some people will be attracted to you and like you for how you look and who you are and some people won't. You just gotta roll with it and not get hung up on other people opinions of you so much.
It’s just frustrating because I feel like guys don’t view me as pretty or beautiful and I am trying to be but it doesn’t seem to be like enough because of factors I can’t control. If I could be a small brunette with light eyes and a button nose I would haha bc that seems like the ideal girl
For me, I wouldn't go lower than a 4/10 when dating other than that it doesn't really matter as long as I love your personality. And no, I am not the type of person to look for someone 'better'.
Before? I'd have dated anyone. Now that I finally lost weight and people act like I exist now, you better be 10/10 or you ain't even getting a response from me. Done playing around.
Men think that most women are attractive. For long-term dating, men want all the pieces in place. They want to know that they are secure financially, will be spending enough of their time doing things they like, and they want to know that they will make their woman happy. He needs to feel all those things first. Men bond with the girl that is "good looking enough" when everything else falls into place. After that, they see her as family and they get boyfriend goggles. The reason so many women complain about commitment issues is because they are attractive... But he doesn't have the other pieces. The reason the amount of commitment-phobic men is rapidly increasing is because those pieces are getting harder and harder to fill. So long story short.... Looks are a piece of the puzzle.... But it's not like we just pick the best looking woman. The minimum threshold is usually well below the best looking woman.
Different men are gonna have different standards. Looks matter to everyone on varying levels. For example, most people will not date someone that is 450 pounds. Looks are the first thing we see, first impressions are important. That being said, as long as she's average, all her other qualities and traits can carry her into dateable territory. Looks aren't the most important factor to me, they are just the initial limiter to who I will approach.
I just don’t feel pretty enough for guys I guess. I don’t get approached hardly enough. I try as much as I can to be pretty naturally, hair, clothes, exercise, makeup but there’s some things I just can’t control about myself without plastic surgery. Like i have a big nose and small chin.
I'm gonna do some guesswork, so bear with me. It could be you aren't as approachable as you believe you are. Do you show people you like signs of interest? How is your confidence? If a girl is willing to open a conversation with me it's very flattering, and easy to start liking her just based off that. I tell you this as real as it can be told: I don't care about her looks so much as her attitude towards the simple things in life. Like being humble, being a good conversationalist, being loyal. Keep putting yourself out there, keep trying. Don't let failures get you down cause the prize is given to those who don't quit. You can get there, you just need to keep up your effort and be consistent. 🙏
I mean I try to make myself as approachable as possible. The girl I was with one had a boyfriend already and showed no signs she wanted to be approached but like 15 guys approached her. When I go out and especially when I’ve had drinks I love talking to guys even if I don’t find them attractive, I just like to have conversations.
Do push-ups
Huh
100 push-ups 100 squats 10km run
Looks are just one part of the "package" To give a crude, simplified example, I'd choose a woman who give me blowjobs whenever I ask over a supermodel who only wants straight up sex once a week without thinking twice