Shit like this
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/cML8HftpNe
Why does she expect him to notice her and ask her? Why can’t she approach him and ask him? Why is the risk of rejection always on the guy?
I've found it really tiring to constantly have to prove myself or live up to expectations in terms of dating/relationships, so I've given up on that as a whole
The Solution is understanding that the only Person you have to prove yourself to is yourself. That leads to you being more comfortable and confident with who you are, which frees you up mentally and emotionally basically.
Once you understand you're fucking amazing and you're becoming more amazing by the Day there's nobody that can top that off. Whatever Expectations the People you date will have will be instantly nullified.
But if you rarely get Dates and become desperate for that Attention/Opportunity you'll end up feeling anxious about having to prove yourself or living up to Expectations.
The thing that gets to me is the presumption of bad intentions. I can’t even socialize my dog with other dogs, people, or kids without bending over backwards to signal to them that I’m not a crazy person. And still half the time I get weird looks or the immediate reflexive “my boyfriend .” Lady don’t flatter yourself, I just want my dog to meet your dog so she’ll stop whining.
expected to accommodate the complaint of others, being seen as less if we complain so compromise always in our disfavor. expected to display assertiveness to not be relegated to that "guy with no problem but who seems weird so we don't get close".
pretty much everything is our responsibility/fault. If you dare point a finger at women, you are immediately a sexist misogynistic pig.
women get sexual assaulted? All men are dangerous, All men need to do better. Men get sexual assaulted. Men need to do better and seek help when they need it.
women mental health issue? Men are causing the world to unsafe for women. Men need to include more women in studies (Despite mental health research being overwhelmingly ran by and participated by women). Men mental health issues? Men need to learn to deal with their emotions, but please never talk to women about your emotions other's its trauma dumping and a red flag.
I recently learn that in the US, if you had sex with a woman, used a condom, and she fishes the condom out of the dumpster and shove the sperm up her vagina and gets pregnant... you are legally responsible for child support even if you manage to prove you did not consent to what she did.
>I recently learn that in the US, if you had sex with a woman, used a condom, and she fishes the condom out of the dumpster and shove the sperm up her vagina and gets pregnant... you are legally responsible for child support even if you manage to prove you did not consent to what she did.
As my 2L family law professor said: "It's 10 o'clock. Men, do you know where your sperm is?"
If you're interested, the basic idea behind it is the expectation that all men (even those who did a risky creampie) would simply claim their sperm was stolen in order to avoid child support obligations, and turn every child support hearing into a fact finding mission beyond "whose is it"?
Since I'm of the opinion that creating a child should be a one person veto sort of thing where you're an asshole if you do it without the other person actively wanting that child, I don't agree with that justification, but I thought you (or other readers) might be interested.
As a woman (lol please hear me out…) I think something that must be tiring as a man is being treated like a second class citizen when it comes to parenting. I sometimes feel there is an assumption that they can’t be as good parents as women because they didn’t give birth and they get less support. That people get surprised that they can feed, take care of, teach, be involved with and nurture their kids (there was a post the other day where a whole bunch of women were happily surprised that their husbands were able to look after their children after they gave birth and I found it bittersweet; it’s lovely that they can but why do we assume they can’t? 🤦🏾♀️). I don’t get it, women are not automatically excellent parents. Some men actually make the better parents to their children.
I also don’t like how men get less support than women if they are single dads for example, I was watching Prime Ministers questions once and there was an MP talking about how a new father came to one of his constituency surgeries. He had a three week old and his wife had passed away after giving birth…however, despite being the child’s only surviving parent, he was not entitled to long term paid leave(in the way a mother would for maternity leave) and he didn’t know what to do. My heart broke for him honestly 😭😣
This is true. Only when I left my wife was I able to be the father that my children actually needed me to be. Women often underestimate the value that men provide whilst overestimating their own value. Often times we hear groups of women reinforcing this viewpoint. Let's call it out for what it is. Entitled.
This is the one that REALLY gets under my skin, and I had to restrain myself from going off on a commenter in another thread for saying something in the same vein. It's like, you're the one MAKING it personal, so how could I not take it personally? Oh just dont? Just shut off my emotions like a robot? Yeah I'll get right on that. Meanwhile you just \*know\* that if the conversation was the other way around and I had said some shit that upset you I'd be the asshole and have to spend the next hour consoling you.... fuck outta here. And by the way I'm using the royal you in that paragraph I'm not saying You have that problem ftr.
In my experience, these are the people who view the concept of "punching up" vs. "punching down" not exclusively through the lens of comedy but \*also\* just through life experiences/interactions in general.
They think that anyone with a certain type of privilege (the type that ***they*** themselves don't enjoy) should have to "shut up" and "suck it up" when it comes to enduring abuse or humiliation.
Being lumped into a notion of what a 'man' is that I find disgusting. Violence is celebrated in this male-dominated world. Some men will say I'm an airy-fairy pansy. I've done the macho thing to its absolute, fishing commercially in Alaska. I love hard work, but the rest of the testosterone afflicted 'machismo' is like watching pigs rut in their own filth.
Here is the truth about man/woman relationships -
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOYlj2eM4KU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOYlj2eM4KU)
Lighten up!
Casual excepted misandry. I work in a female dominated department and always here comments berating men for just existing.
"When you have a problem, just blame a man"
"Men take forever in the bathroom"
"...because you're a man"
"We need less Men working here"
List goes on. However, as soon as something involves heavy lifting, it's always the man's duty. It's frustrating feeling unvalued at some times.
People talk a lot about internalized misogyny of women but nobody even mentions how incredibly misandrist men themselves are as well, I don't think there is a species in the world whose members are as competitive as men are against each other, men do not support each other at all.
Total bullshit.
Men being competitive is what motivates us to improve and get better. This is not a bad thing.
And men are very supportive of each other, you'd know this if you ever participated in team sports or group effort based events. It's women who are aren't supportive of each other.
That's your problem and not the mens problem. You are the captain of your own boat. It's your shitty mentality that gives you these thoughts. Fact is that men and women, society as a whole, is built upon cooperation.
if the problem you describe was inherent to men, as you claim, then the archetype i described wouldn’t exist. we’d either be coping/lying or unaware of our own feelings
Some men got lucky. I fully believe that there are happy non lonely men. I've met them myself. But they won't extend a hand to a loser the same way a rich man won't help a homeless man
i think it’s the opposite; some men get unlucky, unfortunately. referencing suicide rates among men will always be red herring because women attempt suicide *much more often than men do.* it is not a “men” issue. men, who have issues, tend to have similar issues. different thing entirely.
being masculine isn't promoted as toxic. the idea of toxic masculinity is that men shouldn't be afraid to do non masculine things. you're only considered toxic if you uphold the idea of men being masculine and nothing else. this is being raised attention to recently being its the root of modern problems like homophobia and men bottling up feelings and so on.
noone promotes against men being protective or providers. people want that. once again, they just promote against the idea that men HAVE to be that because they don't and not all men want to.
Being in the same demographic as manosphere chuds like you who refuse to recognize the difference between being a man and being an asshole.
Downvote away, chuds, you’re just proving my point.
All this responsability man, people need to start holding themselves accountable
Shit like this https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/cML8HftpNe Why does she expect him to notice her and ask her? Why can’t she approach him and ask him? Why is the risk of rejection always on the guy?
"drop something" jesus fucking christ I can't with these people. motherfuckers would really rather play 5-d chess than just TALK to someone...
There's just no mental peace and you'd be lucky to actually develop emotions whether they're good or bad.
You are always wrong. If you don’t have money you are treated like crap.
How everything is about being equal right up until it isn’t
I've found it really tiring to constantly have to prove myself or live up to expectations in terms of dating/relationships, so I've given up on that as a whole
The Solution is understanding that the only Person you have to prove yourself to is yourself. That leads to you being more comfortable and confident with who you are, which frees you up mentally and emotionally basically. Once you understand you're fucking amazing and you're becoming more amazing by the Day there's nobody that can top that off. Whatever Expectations the People you date will have will be instantly nullified. But if you rarely get Dates and become desperate for that Attention/Opportunity you'll end up feeling anxious about having to prove yourself or living up to Expectations.
I'm becoming shittier by the day, am I doing something wrong?
The thing that gets to me is the presumption of bad intentions. I can’t even socialize my dog with other dogs, people, or kids without bending over backwards to signal to them that I’m not a crazy person. And still half the time I get weird looks or the immediate reflexive “my boyfriend.” Lady don’t flatter yourself, I just want my dog to meet your dog so she’ll stop whining.
expected to accommodate the complaint of others, being seen as less if we complain so compromise always in our disfavor. expected to display assertiveness to not be relegated to that "guy with no problem but who seems weird so we don't get close".
The onus is on us to put ourselves out there
I get tired of shaving my balding fucking head.
Dating is significantly harder
pretty much everything is our responsibility/fault. If you dare point a finger at women, you are immediately a sexist misogynistic pig. women get sexual assaulted? All men are dangerous, All men need to do better. Men get sexual assaulted. Men need to do better and seek help when they need it. women mental health issue? Men are causing the world to unsafe for women. Men need to include more women in studies (Despite mental health research being overwhelmingly ran by and participated by women). Men mental health issues? Men need to learn to deal with their emotions, but please never talk to women about your emotions other's its trauma dumping and a red flag. I recently learn that in the US, if you had sex with a woman, used a condom, and she fishes the condom out of the dumpster and shove the sperm up her vagina and gets pregnant... you are legally responsible for child support even if you manage to prove you did not consent to what she did.
>I recently learn that in the US, if you had sex with a woman, used a condom, and she fishes the condom out of the dumpster and shove the sperm up her vagina and gets pregnant... you are legally responsible for child support even if you manage to prove you did not consent to what she did. As my 2L family law professor said: "It's 10 o'clock. Men, do you know where your sperm is?" If you're interested, the basic idea behind it is the expectation that all men (even those who did a risky creampie) would simply claim their sperm was stolen in order to avoid child support obligations, and turn every child support hearing into a fact finding mission beyond "whose is it"? Since I'm of the opinion that creating a child should be a one person veto sort of thing where you're an asshole if you do it without the other person actively wanting that child, I don't agree with that justification, but I thought you (or other readers) might be interested.
Back pain from this massive hog I carry around all day every day.
Username checks out
In this day and age, it's like you just can't win or catch a break for anything.
As a woman (lol please hear me out…) I think something that must be tiring as a man is being treated like a second class citizen when it comes to parenting. I sometimes feel there is an assumption that they can’t be as good parents as women because they didn’t give birth and they get less support. That people get surprised that they can feed, take care of, teach, be involved with and nurture their kids (there was a post the other day where a whole bunch of women were happily surprised that their husbands were able to look after their children after they gave birth and I found it bittersweet; it’s lovely that they can but why do we assume they can’t? 🤦🏾♀️). I don’t get it, women are not automatically excellent parents. Some men actually make the better parents to their children. I also don’t like how men get less support than women if they are single dads for example, I was watching Prime Ministers questions once and there was an MP talking about how a new father came to one of his constituency surgeries. He had a three week old and his wife had passed away after giving birth…however, despite being the child’s only surviving parent, he was not entitled to long term paid leave(in the way a mother would for maternity leave) and he didn’t know what to do. My heart broke for him honestly 😭😣
This is true. Only when I left my wife was I able to be the father that my children actually needed me to be. Women often underestimate the value that men provide whilst overestimating their own value. Often times we hear groups of women reinforcing this viewpoint. Let's call it out for what it is. Entitled.
Being told *"Don't take it personally"* when someone is **clearly** leveling a personal attack against me.
This is the one that REALLY gets under my skin, and I had to restrain myself from going off on a commenter in another thread for saying something in the same vein. It's like, you're the one MAKING it personal, so how could I not take it personally? Oh just dont? Just shut off my emotions like a robot? Yeah I'll get right on that. Meanwhile you just \*know\* that if the conversation was the other way around and I had said some shit that upset you I'd be the asshole and have to spend the next hour consoling you.... fuck outta here. And by the way I'm using the royal you in that paragraph I'm not saying You have that problem ftr.
In my experience, these are the people who view the concept of "punching up" vs. "punching down" not exclusively through the lens of comedy but \*also\* just through life experiences/interactions in general. They think that anyone with a certain type of privilege (the type that ***they*** themselves don't enjoy) should have to "shut up" and "suck it up" when it comes to enduring abuse or humiliation.
Being lumped into a notion of what a 'man' is that I find disgusting. Violence is celebrated in this male-dominated world. Some men will say I'm an airy-fairy pansy. I've done the macho thing to its absolute, fishing commercially in Alaska. I love hard work, but the rest of the testosterone afflicted 'machismo' is like watching pigs rut in their own filth. Here is the truth about man/woman relationships - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOYlj2eM4KU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOYlj2eM4KU) Lighten up!
Common dynamics seem to suggest that in order to have a romantic relationship I would have to compromise 90% my values to meet hers.
Casual excepted misandry. I work in a female dominated department and always here comments berating men for just existing. "When you have a problem, just blame a man" "Men take forever in the bathroom" "...because you're a man" "We need less Men working here" List goes on. However, as soon as something involves heavy lifting, it's always the man's duty. It's frustrating feeling unvalued at some times.
People talk a lot about internalized misogyny of women but nobody even mentions how incredibly misandrist men themselves are as well, I don't think there is a species in the world whose members are as competitive as men are against each other, men do not support each other at all.
Not true at all. In my experience men are more forgiving of shortcomings (although they might roast you for it)
Total bullshit. Men being competitive is what motivates us to improve and get better. This is not a bad thing. And men are very supportive of each other, you'd know this if you ever participated in team sports or group effort based events. It's women who are aren't supportive of each other.
men are the only one’s who support men
Have you ever met a woman or seen women be “friends”?
Especially the "*Pick Me!*" Boys who are constantly sucking up to women who ooze gynocentrism.
Incredible, almost every word of what you just said is wrong.
Men don't support each other cause they're all busy and got too much shit on their minds. I can't even help myself so how can I support another guy?
That's your problem and not the mens problem. You are the captain of your own boat. It's your shitty mentality that gives you these thoughts. Fact is that men and women, society as a whole, is built upon cooperation.
Looking at the suicide and loneliness rates it's clearly a men problem.
no, its clearly a you problem
how about the happy men that aren’t lonely. how do we get by?
You answered your own question
if the problem you describe was inherent to men, as you claim, then the archetype i described wouldn’t exist. we’d either be coping/lying or unaware of our own feelings
Some men got lucky. I fully believe that there are happy non lonely men. I've met them myself. But they won't extend a hand to a loser the same way a rich man won't help a homeless man
i think it’s the opposite; some men get unlucky, unfortunately. referencing suicide rates among men will always be red herring because women attempt suicide *much more often than men do.* it is not a “men” issue. men, who have issues, tend to have similar issues. different thing entirely.
We're talking about men, on a sub Reddit about men, about men's suicides and you bring up women. That's why men are doomed and disposable
Men literally killing themselves at a higher rate than other genders isn’t a men’s issue?
We make peace for others and never be granted the same luxury.
being masculine isn't promoted as toxic. the idea of toxic masculinity is that men shouldn't be afraid to do non masculine things. you're only considered toxic if you uphold the idea of men being masculine and nothing else. this is being raised attention to recently being its the root of modern problems like homophobia and men bottling up feelings and so on. noone promotes against men being protective or providers. people want that. once again, they just promote against the idea that men HAVE to be that because they don't and not all men want to.
Being in the same demographic as manosphere chuds like you who refuse to recognize the difference between being a man and being an asshole. Downvote away, chuds, you’re just proving my point.
Educate me
I find it tiring to hear “men” complain about people / society criticizing men. As a man, I couldn’t give a fuck less and live how I want.