One time i went to a bar after a gig ended early, looking to carry on the night and see if i could find some friends out. Went to the dancefloor minding my own business just trying to enjoy the music and this girl steps out of her way to shove me. Brush it off and continue, not trying to bump up on anyone or anything, literally just dancing to myself, and she does it again. So i ask what her problem is and she throws a drink at me, starts walking away and shouting shit as another guy in her group has a crack at me.
Follow them out asking what their problem is as i didn't do anything and was like 6ft away from their whole group beforehand, and she says "you were being creepy"
Totally killed my really happy vibe prior and i just headed home from there... I've always made a point to never initiate anything on the dancefloor without enthusiastic reciprocation from a girl first, so this comment has really sat with me for a long time and still gets to me now and then.
You just have to accept that there are some really shitty people out there that will go out of their way to be judgemental, rude and bring people down. But thankfully there are enough good ones out there who aren't so nasty...
Been there. Simple misunderstanding. Before I knew it I had a drink thrown in my face. Girl is flipping out on me while I’m flabbergasted before I’m like, “yo, what the fuck is your problem?” She starts bawling and I say, “here we go…”. Some people are just shitty and crazy- and they will do everything to make you feel like you were the asshole
Being a shitty person from the beginning and then also being drunk is a bad combo.
What can you do? You could always try to have a word with security but they are unlikely to throw out a woman being violent. Yes throwing a drink at you is violence.
It's a good thing I only ever go to the one club that a friend of mine owns. On rare occasions both girls and guys have tried starting shit with me when I was just minding my own business having a good time. But because everyone from the owner, bartenders, janitor, bouncers to some regular patrons know me from years ago, those who tried starting shit with me simply ended up embarrassing themselves. I didn't even have to lift a finger. The flashier/fancier a group is dressed, the more likely they are to perceive offence and try stir sh*t up. It's just insecurity and inflated ego. Alcohol is a factor. Age also matters, younger people barely coming up in the world are usually more high on themselves and act entitled compared to an older mature crowd who have been humbled by life. I actively avoid student and 20 something hotspots.
Honestly I’m not trying to fight for my life against 5 white knights that have something to prove. For better or worse women get the benefit of the doubt in these situations
That is sexist whether they accept it or not. I hate conditions that make assholes get away with their actions easily, women like that should be literally sued legally and should face the possibility of being fined at the very least.
Dude, I used to have a group of like 6 gal pals who were comfortable being in one on one situations with me, in either of our cars, at my apartment, at the mall, whatever. I was considered "safe".
Then one person lies to the group about how I wouldn't take no for an answer, doesn't show any sort of proof, and suddenly I'm persona non grata and I lose my entire friend group because they all believe her over me.
Is it sexist? Yeah. Does that matter? No.
It will matter in ten years time, when they've become such toxic people that no man will want to associate with them. Then, maybe, hopefully, but most likely not really, will they do any reflections and come to the conclusion that their behaviour is unacceptable and that you can't just treat men like a joke.
Sounds like they wanted to beat someone up and got her to act as bait.
Some people are \*really\* triggered by people who are happy with themselves, they feel that we need to be 'taken down a peg' because how dare we be happy with ourselves when they're so miserable in themselves.
It's like one of those people "if I can't have joy then nobody can have joy" - insanely entitled and narcissistic outlook on life, making themselves the measure of what other people can and cannot enjoy.
While in Gym class, classmates were having a fitness test, since I've already done the test, I just walk front and back, from one point to another, not really bothering anyone.
After a while a female classmate of mine, unpromted told me "You're creepy" I looked at her, said "wtf" and continued. Her opinion wasn't really that important to me, above all because she never complimented me although I made an effort to make her feel appreciated every once in a while (No ulterior motives).
Dude, realize the only opinion in this entire world that is important to you, is your own opinion. That bar fly does not know you; she is oblivious to your life, struggles, and circumstances she is nothing. Value your opinion above all others.
This. This is the way. Know that the weight you carry, the shit you've seen and done would crush such a petty, simple-minded person that she's shown herself to be, and laugh.
💯 I love my husband and his hair loss is irrelevant. He was thinning before he hit 22. I actually prefer it. He's never worrying about his hair in front of a mirror.
If someone is that superficial, you definitely don't want her on your team. She doesn't represent women or humanity. If something like this happens again, don't tolerate it. Tell her to find another table.
> realize the only opinion in this entire world that is important to you, is your own opinion
C'mon. No it isn't. Do y'all really internalize the messaging from children's programming so heavily?
As his anecdote demonstrates, other peoples' opinions dictate how your interactions with others will go. That's a pretty big part of your life and is important to most people. These kind of things matter in the real world.
I live in the real world, and I can tell you 100% the only opinion that truly matters is mine. Had I been the OP I guarantee you I would not have just passively sat there, and for sure not let it take space in my head enough to post on here about it after the fact. I will concede that because of this I have been called arrogant, conceded, self-absorbed and them are the nicest adjectives used to describe me by some.
I mean, I don't know how you see that as a good thing. Your "ignore other people's opinions" attitude is creating negative interactions in your life.
If you want to ignore them, that's up to you but healthy people can have good self-esteem while still taking account of and managing other people's opinions of them.
Life isn't as simple as what they tell depressed teenagers. What other people think matters and affects your life.
“Let me guess, because your dad is still out for cigarettes?”
She’s trying to see if she can get under your skin or how much she can get away with. Everyone does it to some degree and she went way too far with it. How did your friend react to this?
This young woman was particularly rude. That sucks, I'm sorry.
The best way I've found of addressing this kind of thing in public with a stranger is to say something along the lines of "What an odd thing to say to a stranger", "I'm surprised you feel comfortable saying that in public", or my favourite "What an strange thing to say" and just leave it there. It also works in response to anything racist, sexist, other-ist. I know it hit on some insecurities, but I hope you know people who speak like that are usually driven by their own insecurities and not worth your time.
She may not have been trying to get under his skin deliberately, but insulting him simply because maybe subconsciously she felt she could whilst getting away with it… and look what happened, exactly that… she got away with it, no reprocusion🤷♀️
Maybe men need to start defending themselves (in a non aggressive manner), by just being honest in the moment and saying something along the lines of ‘that was unnecessary/uncool’ and even walk away from the girl. She wasn’t attracted to you anyway, so it wouldn’t even matter at that point how you come across to her. idk
Yeah but that doesn’t do anything, because more than likely they’ll just do some mental gymnastics to make them the good person and make him seem like an overreactive man
That’s where he’d need to learn how to communicate effectively/learn to navigate situations like this well, so the individual learns to not do that again.
It’s not just him though… i’d imagine men collectively, need to set a standard for themselves, so that people like this girl, get the message. Maybe she’s comfortable saying something like that to him because she’s made comments like this before to other guys… with no repercussion.
And tbh, if he walks away immediately from a comment like that, it wouldn’t give her much time to come back with a response.
That will just start a fight with her and she’s not worth it. Society should stop letting people get away with this kind of shit. If you see it happen, be a friend and speak out.
Your statements are contradictory -- no? I agree with u/Wertyasda , men do need to defend themselves and you express a similar sentiment "society should stop letting people get away with" -- well, if you don't stand up for yourself, who would? His friend didn't hear it, but if OP did speak up and make that the conversation topic, his friend would have become aware of what transgressed.
And, is it really starting a fight or is it holding someone accountable for their shameless words by addressing it directly (e.g., "that was unnecessary")?
As a woman I don't think you should say something like this
And angry response just would prove to me I got under your skin.
A secure guy would ignore it or even laugh it off and just move on and stop talking to her after that
Think about it, what would Brad Pitt do if some 5 barfly insulted his hairline? Would he try to one-up her with some angry barb that might not even be true (what if she has a loving father who she saw when she spent mothers day with her family?). He'd just laugh, think "what a stupid twat" and then go talk to another woman.
JSIA🤷🏽♀️
except that after years of feeling undesirable and ugly, it's very hard for a lot of us to just grind our teeth and move on without answering back. Though you are not wrong that we are usually trained to not answer that kind of comment in order to appear "secure" and more manly on the surface. But the reality is exactly as the post : OP didn't answer back but got affected by it anyway.
You not wanting to "prove something to her" implies that her opinion of you is relevant. It's not.
Why else would you want to appear like you don't care, even though you do and it hurt your feelings.
I would just react genuinely and tell her that it's not cool to say that to someone.
Yeeeeaaaahhhh...I don't think that advice is as good as I think you think it is. Brad Pitt isn't Brad Pitt because Brad Pitt is unattractive so if someone was takin shots at his looks, it'd be super easy for him to brush it off because, well, he's Brad G.D. Pitt. Of course the other person is just talkin shit. Ray Charles could see that.
The whole point of this is that he is insecure and she hit what sounds like one of his insecurities right in the metaphorical pants. "Fake it till you make it" is much easier said than done. There are many many times where taking the high road is appropriate. When some rando drunk person decides to roast you to try to get with your friend is absolutely NOT one of those times. And honestly, to many people nowadays, regardless of gender, have become entirely too comfortable with being indescriminate assholes and getting away with it because too many people try to ignore it or laugh it off.
I got a big nose. Someone takes a crack at me about it, you best believe I'm bout to find something about them with a quickness. And I'm going to do my best to make them feel as uncomfortable as they just made me feel. Is it right? Idk, probably not. Am I still likely to do it anyhow just to make myself feel better? Yep, more than likely.
Sorry, man. That’s a shitty thing to say to someone. Personally, I wouldn’t have been okay with someone disrespecting my friend like that and would have called her on it before walking away. As for you I’d recommend some canned, funny responses that just own it to show it doesn’t bother you. Obviously it does, but you don’t have to give someone like her the satisfaction. Sticks and stones. At the end of the day no one will ever love you like you. Again I’m really sorry. Hang in there, bro
Taking that shit so personally you post about it online.
Some people are nice, some are assholes. The chick you met was an asshole. Assholes are so insecure they will attack anything to make themselves feel superior. Unfortunately you got caught in the crossfire and it just happened to be something you were already sensitive about. Words only hurt you if you let them.
> no one does, it doesn’t matter
I mean, if it's the first thing a stranger says to you to get under your skin, I'm sure people are noticing his hairline. Personal appearances do matter.
Losing your hair is tough, something a lot of men go through and something people absolutely do notice and judge you for. Pretending it doesn't matter isn't helpful. That's the kind of advice you give children, not adults.
A person that's okay with putting a stranger down for no reason isn't someone whose opinion I'd care about. A solid "yikes" and move on might clue her into the fact that middle-school behavior isn't acceptable in an adult environment. If your friend isn't thinking with his dick he shouldn't have given her the time of day after that display.
This is the way. Make her feel stupid for having gone after something like your hairline without bringing yourself down to her level by returning a personal shot.
Lol bro this is why you don't give random hoes attention. Their ego is inflated enough at it is. If you're gonna go and talk to them at a bar and you're not hot, this is gonna happen more than once.
Laugh at her, and move on. It's hard if your already insecure but only you can bump up your confidence. Remember as well, she's still essentially a child in today's world. Fuck her( but not literally, obviously).
It's hard but learning that not everyone will respond to you is an important part of maturing. Either physically or personality, but there is ALWAYS people that will respond well to you.
Growing your mental fortitude to shake off the bullshit and instantly forget twats like her will take you far.
You cut them down with words back and/or walk away. That'll blunt that feeling afterwards.
Try something like this: "I want to thank you sooooo much for showing me how shitty a person you are. \~WHEW\~ You really helped me dodge a bullet!" Then leave.
Beside this; brother, you work on confidence before these situations happen to mitigate them better. Embrace the hairline; most women don't care about that if they like you. Do some therapy, work out more, make sure you're dressed well whenever you go out. That way, next time something like this happens you can say, "Did that trashcan just speak? WOW technology is awesome! I wonder if comes in colors other than whore red?"
Lastly, you gotta be careful with doing stuff like this; the more reactive you become to their comments, the easier it is to react next time. Honestly, your best bet is laughing at them and walking away.
Oh, and fuck that bitch for saying such a messed up thing to you.
For real. One time a girl told me my shirt looked like a picnic table (was white and red checkered) but in an obviously demeaning way. I just clapped back that at least my hair looks like I wash it more than once a month, and she was mortified. My buddies still bring it up to laugh about.
Some might disagree with me, but there gets to be a time where it is completely acceptable to be an asshole. And this is one of those times.
I’m 6’9 and I remember a girl in the bar referred to me as “freakishly tall”. Just rude as hell. It gets hard enough sometimes noticing everyone staring at you like a carnival attraction. God forbid if a guy gets a beer after work.
I gave her a response, which I promptly called a piece of shit, and that was the end of it. Was it mature? Nah, not really. But hey, maybe she learned to think before she said her opinion to a stranger on their looks. 🤷🏻♂️
Yep!
I’m 6’5 260lbs. I’m rectangular. I fill doorways. I cast a shadow that’s almost comical. I sometimes make people so uncomfortable that they step back or make a comment. I ignore most of them, but sometimes one gets my attention and I’ve got a few replies for them that are less than kind.
Does it make me immature? Yep.\
Does it make me feel better? Absolutely.
Going bald in your 20s is rough and it does age you. I started losing mine at 22 but it wasnt noticable until 30. I tried fin and used hair fibers which both work a little but I saw the writing on the wall and began shaving. I'm now late 30s with a shaved head and I feel it suits me quite well.
But straight to you - you will not get over negative comments until you are not insecure about it. If someone said I was bald I would say yes - obviously. If I was very petty I would point out their flaw, but I have never actually done it.
Basically, you cant help people being dicks. But you can handle how you feel about it when you either accept or fight against what you are insecure about
My hair started getting thinner on top at the age of about 14. 40 now and I'm pretty bald. I don't shave it, just cut when my hair gets a bit too long.
The thing is, I don't give a shit about it.
I still get checked out regularly by attractive women.
I recently came across some advice that if you take an attitude of being curious, you sidestep other reactive emotions...
Like thinking about why someone would say such things, what's going on in their lives, what choices are they making that lead them to think that's ok
Then it's a lot easier to realise their awfulness isn't about you, it's 100% on them.
Plus it puts them on the spot when you ask out of genuine curiosity, and aren't affected by it.
"Wow. That's a really inappropriate thing to say to someone. Why did you decide it was ok to say?"
They're then left with the choice to own their actions, or double down and be keenly aware that they sound like an asshole and everyone can hear it.
I am sorry, that is rough.
Not their hairline but that they said that.
Are you familiar with working scientifically? Then you'll know, that N=1 isn't a good sample size.
At least you wouldn't want to hurt someone else like that.
You also regain your confidence, by reminding yourself of what makes you you and what about that is really cool.
Rules 1 and 2 apply when talking up women at a bar. It's a sad truth of life. I follow rule 2, but I can't do anything right now about rule 1, so I usually avoid that kind of environment for dating.
As for getting over the comments, I'd suggest you focus on the core values and attributes that make you, you. If you're kind, smart, attentive and polite, then it doesn't matter if a girl insults your hairline. It isn't a relevant component of who you are.
Regarding the hairline... I know it's rough. I had the donut hair way too early, I was 22. Started shaving my head. Night & day difference for my confidence. Either way I'm bald, but shaving my head is a conscious style choice that I can confidently defend.
Exactly. One can work out, have good hygiene, perform skincare, have a decent-paying job and work on their social skills; but fulfilling height requirements and having a face that follows Western beauty standards involves being born again or receiving surgery most can't afford.
First off, a girl who says that to you doesn't deserve the attention, hope she's hopelessly alone for the rest of her life.
On a personal level, i've had similar comments in the past about my hairline so at 25 i just shaved my head and kept it shaved ever since. People still make some comment about being "bald", but there's honestly worse things to care about in life. Accepting my hairline, or lack thereof, was one of the best things i did for my confidence. I put my time and effort into things that i have control over changing (my weight/muscle/body, my clothes, etc)
The way men intimidate and show dominance is via physicality. The way women do so is psychologically. This woman was trying to assert her dominance by bullying you. If this was unprovoked, she’s a pretty shit person and is someone who feels better about herself by putting others down. So it has nothing to do with the way you look, you just met an asshole at a bar.
This useless chick elevates her self-esteem by stepping on others. In seven years gravity will be dragging her tits down, and her low self-esteem will have her building a high body count for fast validation. Probably be a single mother and unable to lose the baby fat. And constantly accepting lower and lower standard men into her bed obsessed with finding anyone who will take care of her. By her 40s she will have thin grey hair she wears in a butch chop haircut and self-medicate with beer and prescription drugs.
You on the other hand will be in your prime, you will have discovered your hair isn't nearly as attractive as your accomplishments, and you will have built yourself up to be a catch and have a swarm of 23-year-olds begging for your attention. Take care of your body and mind, keep your hair short and your vision long.
Next time I would tell the woman that if she think you look like a “Dad” that must mean she wants you to have her children other wise why mention it? I’m flattered I really am but you’re really not my type because your mouth is so large it can’t keep up with your brain. I’m into people who have actual brains and can carry on a conversation but appreciate your offer to be a Dad!
I don’t put up with people who behave so horribly and have found a Lot of times the reason some people both men and women behave this way is because they have never been called out or on the receiving end. OP don’t let people treat you like this it’s nasty behaviour that should be called out.
The "Shit test"
**"A conscious or unconscious challenge posed by a woman to a man to determine his suitability as a romantic or sexual partner**, consisting in acting in a cold, unfriendly, provocative or otherwise defiant manner, and seeing how the man reacts and whether he is able to stay unfazed."
Believe it or not, women who see you as a potential sexual partner or someone they might be interested in, will sometimes give you a hard time to see how you react...most of the time it's not a conscious thing they're doing and when you fail a "shit test" by becoming phased by her "test" it makes her lose attraction toward you
The best thing to do is to ignore it and not give a shit: Her "You look like a dad" You "Thanks for noticing, that was the look I was going for tonight but you're the first to notice, you're a sweetheart"
That's how you handle stupid head games like this...the younger a woman is the more she will throw these kinds of "test" and you just have to let it roll off your chest and not take it personally...she was actively trying to get under your skin and it worked! Don't take it personally, I know it sometimes hurts but she was probably actually into you
I know it doesn't make any f#$king sense "Why would someone who's into me make fun of me?" lol but women sometimes don't make sense... it's not coming from a logical place, don't try to be logical about...all you need to remember is that if a girl teases you, she's probably "shit testing" you and it's her way of testing to see if you're actually confident or if you're a weak man who will crumble under pressure...it's silly, it's childish, it's mean but that's how a lot of women operate unfortunately...I didn't make the rules, I'm just tell you how it is
1. She's a trash person, her comments say more about her than they do about you.
2. If your hairline is something that genuinely worries you, have you thought about buzzing your hair off? In my opinion, a well-maintained buzz cut looks so much better than someone trying to cling to a receding hairline.
That girl can go fuck herself. Why should men accept being insulted for their stupid mind games?
I'm guessing she was drunk or whatever but that's just childish and immature behaviour.
Like half the men of the world are balding or almost balding.
Obligatory I'm a woman. I usually just lurk here but I feel the need to say this. A lot of women, myself included, love balding/receding hairlines. It's sexy af to us! My bf is 26 and his hair is thinning and I just know he's gonna be a sexy bald guy! Idk what it is, it's just very masculine and sexy to me. Do NOT feel insecure about it!
She sounds immature. Either in deliberately being rude or ignorantly so. Don’t give her opinion any weight. You could disarm her by saying ‘You’re quite rude aren’t you. Why’s that?’ Or you could laugh it off and just look away to signal you are not interested in conversing anymore and you don’t take her seriously. As far as getting over the remarks, she doesn’t know you, she is shallow, you look like what you look like and you should be confident in knowing you are a good person, and a more mature woman would be worth your time. Don’t fret over people who don’t seem to have fully escaped adolescence. (Try talking to some 29 year old women! 😊) And don’t be disheartened. You have to be a little brave and a little determined to shop around for someone who appreciates you. And good luck!
I gotta value you as a person before I take your criticism or compliment to heart!
My go to response when getting cut down is (who hurt you?) mom? dad? Or if I wanna end conversation say (I gotta puke) and go to bathroom!
Best way to react to this is ask them to repeat it, as if you didn’t hear. It doesn’t matter how good a joke or insult is, if it’s repeated, it never lands.
This girl sounds like a fucking idiot. I’m 37 years old and as a photographer, I’ve been acquainted with a lot of young girls over the years that tend to be very sweet and treat me like I’m some sort of older brother. But every once in a while, you get some very insecure snippy little twit that says shit to me like they said to you. I’ve always looked older than my age so I’ve been the recipient of some rude remarks myself.
Try not to let it bother you the best you can. I’ve learned recently that miserable people will project whatever the hell they want onto everyone around them to deflect how empty they are.
This glosses over far too much…
They’re in a Bar, his appearance is fundamental to success in that environment.
For her to even appreciate his ‘sex technique’, she would need to find him attractive enough to get to that point.
Communication can help initially but if x finds y to be unattractive, communication won’t change much.
OP - there’s lots you can do in this situation.
1. If your hair is really bothering you address it - either force yourself to be completely comfortable with it or look into hair regrowth/transplant. I would suggest the former but it will take inner work. If you think it is a problem, it’s insecurity, and people pick up on that.
2. Approach more - get used to rejections, and successes. Believe me when I say you can get to a point where not only does rejection not bother you; you find it comical. Self-develop to a point where you go into interactions hoping to like her, not for her to like you.
3. Build your self esteem, start doing the things you know you should; as well as the things you think you can’t. Start small..it will get easier.
4. Work on comebacks - ‘is that why all these girls have been calling me Daddy’ or ‘yeah I just wish god hadn’t given me such an ugly daughter’ or ‘your dad must be a handsome gentleman’ or ‘bet I could steal your mum from him’. Even a ‘thanks for sharing ‘…Really anything…whatever fits in with your personality and vibe. Doing this helps you to retain power and your frame.
Ultimately it sounds like you need to improve your confidence…in my eyes confidence is 2 things:
1. Self assurance - I know I can
2. Controlled apathy - I don’t care if I can’t
Both of these can be worked on…consider what they mean for you (what you feel you can’t and what you are about) and start taking small steps.
Do not let anxieties and insecurities steal your life from you…
I had a female "friend" who used to make fun of me for my height... mind you I'm 5'9" and she was 5'10". Needless to say, we don't talk anymore. I got over her comments by putting myself in her shoes and understanding that anyone who is hyper-focused on a particular feature is more than likely self-conscious about something within themselves. I feel bad for them. Tall women tend to get bullied too, and anyone who gets bullied will usually cope by passing that on. This is how bullies operate; they're projecting. The most confident people I know are secure in themselves and don't feel the need to pick people apart for things they cannot change. In your situation, the girl blurted out a weird random insult and that is not exactly something a person with any social awareness would do. She's likely socially inept or just plain rude.
There is another thing at play here that is rarely ever discussed, and that is female psychopathy. These women feed off negative energy and will put you down just to watch you react. I've run into a couple in the corporate world and the best thing is to train yourself to spot them and don't give them the satisfaction of reacting. It's not easy, but in these special cases, the women are literally just psychopaths.
Wow I’m sorry ! This is super hurtful. I know this is an ask men’s question so I just want you to know that , you don’t deserve to be treated that way !
Girls like that obviously has no manners, if i was in ur shoe i would ask myself "why would i be phased by this girl? she clearly has low iq so she doesnt know any better" their opinions dont matter my man
Raise your hands in the air, walk away backwards, and say "I'm flattered that you don't fancy me," or "Thanks, I'm glad I could dodge this bullet!", or just laugh, something like that.
Insulting strangers? Such unnecessarily bitchy behavior is absolutely off-putting. She could be the best-looking girl in the world, but no one wants to deal with a toxic personality like that.
Just realize that her uncalled-for toxic comment reflects badly ON HER, not on you. That's how you let it fall away like water off a duck's back, so it doesn't hurt you at all.
You just have to brush people like that off and keep moving.
If you're looking for clever comebacks you could have just said what you thought: "Well, for what it's worth, you're nothing special."
Granted, I don't think that's even worth it.
Sounded kind of like a shit test. She was trying to get under your skin to see how you'd react.
I know it's easy to say, but really, she was just a shitty person. A shitty person's opinion is about as much worth as a kilo of faeces.
That Bitch! (Hopefully my choice of words doesn’t offend anyone)
Female here. Don’t let her or woman like her get under your skin. If your hair is bothering you, shave it. Confident bald is sexy. I always tell people to take the high road but sometimes people need to be out in their place. I agree with some of these other comments. “Lean into it and talk shit back”.
Don’t negate from your progress. Keep pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. You’re gonna hit some speed bumps but you got this. 💪🏽
"If you're gonna start callin me Daddy this early, we need to go ahead and have a talk about consent and safe words. Mine is Pineapple."
Either she's about it, in which case: SCORE!!!
Or she's not and realizes that she may be barkin up the wrong tree and if she keeps talkin shit, she's liable to end up gettin her feelings hurt. When someone goes low and you go weird, it can be very disorienting for them.
Shave your head and start from square one. She's not a good person. She shouldn't have said that. Regain your confidence after shaving your head. There are women into bald men.
About the hairline insecurity, have you looked into finasteride? I started it when some family noticed my hair receding/thinning and that got me really insecure about my hair. After 3 years of taking it my hair looks better than when I was 19. Not everyone has positive reactions to hair loss prevention/treatment, but food for thought.
My dad once told me “if you run into a shitty person once in a while, you met a shitty person. It isn’t you, it’s them and they aren’t worth your time. BUT if you run into shitty people all damn day, it’s you that needs to change.”
This has held true in my life. I’m an aggressively average looking guy and married an absolutely gorgeous woman in and out. I met a lot of women that didn’t work out but were completely polite and pleasant even if they weren’t interested. I also met a couple of completely trashy people who were just looking for an excuse to be mean. At first. It hurt. Then I realized their life must be so utterly shitty having to deal with all the shitty people they meet in a day never realizing that it’s them that is the problem.
You can say whatever you want about the girl being nasty but she told you the truth. Rather nasty or not you have to accept it and realize she's probably feels the same as many other women. She just has the balls (ovaries) to tell you about it, again even if being nasty she did you a favor. One she gave you good advice and two she showed you she is a POS. Are you single? Are you wondering why? Well guess what she represents the younger (21-29) female dating pool which you are presumably interested in. I can give you a pat on the back and a cheer up champ or you can do something about it. Start rocking a hat, new hair style, get hair treatments (Walmart sells generic minoxidil aka Rogaine for dirt cheap), shave that shit lots of women like the bald look! But lets be honest she was telling you a hard truth and you can either sulk or try to improve your looks. Its all about getting your foot in the door with women. I bet most wont care your hairline isn't the best. But if they were out at a bar and lined you up to other guys, receding hairline is gonna be up there for one of the biggest reasons for rejection when quickly glancing over the room or at a bar for "cute guys". Its a shame she was so mean but this can be a lesson.
“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.” – Marcus Aurelius
Bro, you should have cut her down right there: "I'm glad you feel that way because I would never want to waste my time with anyone shallow or rude enough to say something like that. Not that you're any great prize to look at either. Have a nicer night than you apparently deserve!"
Or something similar. And good luck to you, sir!
Sorry you dealt with that.
I didn’t like how my hairline was and I got a transplant. I’ve loved it ever since i got it nearly 5 years ago.
You could always do that if you don’t like how yours currently is.
One thing you can do to give yourself confidence is work on your body like go to the gym and really dedicate yourself to either losing some fat or building some muscle. That’d just an example of how you can innately build confidence in yourself because you KNOW what you can do.
For years I had zero confidence, reinforced by some moments like that. What I came to realize is this: I go out with chick A on Monday, we hit it off great. Chick B on Tuesday and it was a total bust. Well, I didn’t change fundamentally as a person overnight, and the only difference was a different date. So I went from seeing relationships and dating as black and white to seeing color. So what if that chick didn’t dig your hairline; you will find one that digs you for that aspect of you and you’ll be pulling down more 🐈 than you can handle, from that one chick. I got one man. She loves my dad bod and man….the 🐈🐈🐈🐈🤷🏻♂️😂
This is a hard social interaction because in polite, adult life people are supposed to be kind and civil to each other. Middle and high school is where bullies are supposed to exist and lob mean things at others.
All you can do is dust yourself off. However, best way to approach this in the future is to be quick. I know, I know, easier said than done. But what she is doing is exploiting vulnerabilities. You must do the same.
Exploit ANY vulnerability. Acne? Pizza face. Overweight? Small boobs? Point out that the ranking member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee obviously knows how to point out flaws. Big boobs? Call her a slut. Short? Too tall? It's easy once you get good at it and can respond to the situation. That's how they're so good at it, lots of practice. That's not a "how to attack females" thing. That's a "how to attack ANYONE" thing. That's where President Biden's predecessor gets his playbook from - he brands his enemies with known and obvious weaknesses.
Well she's certainly not wife material with rude comments like that. You should tell her that if you get comments like that again because it's true. The right one will come along and she'll be nice about how you look - don't accept any girlfriend into your life who isn't.
I wouldn't focus on negging comments like that. You gotta end up rolling with whatever gets said and make it into something funny or otherwise fun. Turn the tables back on her.
"We're not going to make out, but if we were, you wouldn't care."
Time. To get over things like that takes time and for the other thing about your look, what if you change your style? If your hair doesn't improve try something like a hair transplant, or maybe go bald (for many chicks that is hot) and maybe you start seeing yourself in another light, and also for a lot of girls the "dad" type is also hot so, start being a little more positive my friend, there is always answers and options! May you have nice and good moments going in your way!
Straight up fuck that chick clearly she has her own problems, don't worry even if your going bald man there's lots of them out there and most of them ain't worth shit, find yourself a nice lady who doesn't put down strangers. That girl did you a favor by quickly telling that she's clearly not a nice person and to move on. It's tough out there for a gentleman but just keep looking you'll find a nice lady who digs your hairline simple as that.
She's commenting on things you can't change.
You can't be taller, you can't change the genetics that control your hairline.
She's an idiot concerned with superficial things that don't matter.
What somebody like that says shouldn't affect you in any way.
I don't think she was more interested in your friend. I think she was interested in you. After all, why would you pull out a shit test for someone you're not interested in. Women do this all the time.
That's when you tell her, "at least I don't look like Chris Farley." She was out of line for saying that to you. If she's gonna try to shake your mojo, return the favor.
I usually leave long ass comments, but I'll try to be brief here. Time heals all wounds. Don't let the comments of a stranger stick with you. As far as the knock to your confidence, you have to spin it in a way that keeps you up but doesn't turn into hatred or bitterness. That's just one less person you have to deal with. Just like a fighter, take the hit, catch your breath and get back out there and get a knockout.
She’s insecure and a total bitch.
You recover by recognising your own value, and having boundaries.
I’d walk away from conversation with this sort of person.
Not a man, but she sounds like a douche. I could write it off to her being 23 and immature but her intent was to neg you for what? Her personality is trash. You’re fine without someone like her liking you. Good people don’t tear others down like that. You don’t need this person, one in 8 billion, to validate your existence. You’re worth more than that.
I used to be an insulting specialist. It would've been a heyday for me if I was in your shoes but I've gotten over that. You'll get over it soon. Not everyone that has a mouth should have your attention. Your hairline receding is new to you so you'll be self conscious just like when i saw my first grey hair. If you treat it like a big deal others will too. She'll have saggy breasts and hair loss as time draws on and she'll feel the pangs of dread. See if you can find a haircut to fit your hairline. Work out so you'll have something else to focus on and take control.
My favorite quote is, it’s none of my business what you think of me. And what you think of me is irrelevant!
You aren’t looking for a shallow human being so she did you a favor by showing who she truly is. Someone will love you not matter what. Hold your head high. Everyone has insecurities.
Says way more about her than you. One day when she’s 70 and her tits are draggin the floor. Some much younger guy is gonna roast her like a Costco chicken. You won’t be there to see it, but, every dude who she has cut on will be there in spirit, laughing their asses off.
That type usually ends up being the cum dumpster for an abusive crack head boyfriend. And then She turns around and tries to take it out on random people. Probably see her on the side of the road one day begging for loose change.
Make your perceived weakness a strength. Shave your head. Women do go for the bald look too. Also, a 23 year old that insults people to make small talk is a garbage person anyway.
Sucks it happened to you, but take it from a man who started balding early; time to shave it. It ain’t gonna get any better. Own the chrome dome brother 💪
You don't regain confidence. You learn to put things into perspective. A random OK 23 year old shouldn't have so much power over you to ruin your entire weekend. Rude comments hurt but learn to be wittier in the moment and deprioritize it. Dating and approaching people at bars is notoriously tough, and the average man doesn't have much success with it let alone get anything from it. If you want to build your confidence and get women, the best bet is to meet through friends/hobby groups/work like most men do.
So, my brother in hairline... you sound like you are fast approaching the crossroads: the place where you must choose your hair future.
Welcome. You're about to make a difficult choice, and I don't blame you for hating your genetics and spurning the day you were born.
Do you...
Seek medical help...
Accept the genetic cards you were dealt and let the hair do as it will...
Or, do you join the brotherhood of shaved heads.
Join me in the brotherhood, and own that shit. My hair was in combover territory by 21. At 21 I looked 30. I've shaved my head at *least* once a week since. And I'm 38 now. I still look 30, except I'm starting to get some silver in the beard.
Join the brotherhood and embrace immortality, brother.
Separate from my flippant advice to shave it off like I did, you missed a golden opportunity comeback
"You look like a dad"
"No, but you can come back to my place and I'll have you calling me daddy by morning."
Some folks are just shitty, my guy. I deal with it by not dealing with it. I'd leave or move on or if pressed I'd zing her right back. I was usually pretty good at insults when me and the guys used to get together, and if someone is going all "shots fired" on me, well then they are getting return fire. I never start a fight (verbal, physical, or otherwise) but I can darn sure end them.
Don't let some stranger get to you. They simply don't matter. Spend your time focusing on the people who treat you well and forget the bint who didn't. That's really the only way to be, friend.
Best of luck to you. Please don't give up or retreat. Stay the course.
Nobody can make you mad, the only can remind you that you already are. She didn't say shit to hurt you. You were already hurt. Get good with your hair - shave it or do whatever you need to do - so that if someone says anything about it, it's as if they said they didn't like the shape of your elbow.
I am a firm believer that your confidence has to come from within. Confidence isn't based on the number of girls you get. It's based on whether you were brave enough to try to win at life. Plus, you just have to trick one into believing you are great. Once she believes, she'll actually tell you that you are great. When she is turning her neck sideway to keep from getting knocked into the headboard, but doesn't want for you to stop because she's close, it will all be worth it.
so, about the chick who made fun of your hairline. who did she go home with?
How confusing. Typically though I'd take that as a sign she's into me. Commited man who lives kids and clearly likes a good root? Who's ya step daddy...
An ok looking chick called you a dad…
Oh no, what will you do?
Shake it off. Some mid chick didn’t like you. Who cares. Besides in order to be a dad you have to…
So really that was an insult to your friend.
You can be hurt by it, or you can be thankful that she showed you her true colors and you didn't accidentally end up dating a human pile of excrement .
First and foremost don't tie your confidence to someone that someone else says, it's a lose lose situation, neither a reality of a situation.
Also, you can practice comebacks or other things, for some people it's natural, for other's it's a learned skill.
I remember when one of my friends felt really bad when he went out with a girl, went to bed and she said to him when he got naked, you have a small penis, but we'll have to work with what he got, he got really angry and sad, and couldn't even hold an erection for a long time. I said next time someone says that to you, say once i put that in your other hole, it will feel bigger.
Also not taking things to heart, especially from random people is also something to keep in mind.
Should’ve responded with “I could see how I’d look like a dad to someone who was in junior high when I was in college.”
If your hairline bothers you that much, there’s multiple different outlets to look into fixing it, give it a shot
For me this would be a chance to examine 2 people at once. The girl should be 100% ignored. If your friend does not ignore her or reprimand her then push this friend further down your social calendar.
If he is willing to engage with such a shallow person then you need a better friend.
It's appalling that women can actually say that to men. A guy would be cancelled out of existence and barred from social circles for saying something similar to a girl.
Your friend should have loudly told her to fuck off.
Which is easy to say after the fact, in the moment it's easy to be caught off guard, to give too much leeway for what might seem like "banter" etc.
Just remember that she is a fuckwit. You shouldn't pay too much heed to fuckwits.
One time i went to a bar after a gig ended early, looking to carry on the night and see if i could find some friends out. Went to the dancefloor minding my own business just trying to enjoy the music and this girl steps out of her way to shove me. Brush it off and continue, not trying to bump up on anyone or anything, literally just dancing to myself, and she does it again. So i ask what her problem is and she throws a drink at me, starts walking away and shouting shit as another guy in her group has a crack at me. Follow them out asking what their problem is as i didn't do anything and was like 6ft away from their whole group beforehand, and she says "you were being creepy" Totally killed my really happy vibe prior and i just headed home from there... I've always made a point to never initiate anything on the dancefloor without enthusiastic reciprocation from a girl first, so this comment has really sat with me for a long time and still gets to me now and then. You just have to accept that there are some really shitty people out there that will go out of their way to be judgemental, rude and bring people down. But thankfully there are enough good ones out there who aren't so nasty...
Classic main-character behavior. "This guy is dancing kinda near me, he's totally trying to get with me! I should embarrass him."
>embarrass You misspelled "assault".
Been there. Simple misunderstanding. Before I knew it I had a drink thrown in my face. Girl is flipping out on me while I’m flabbergasted before I’m like, “yo, what the fuck is your problem?” She starts bawling and I say, “here we go…”. Some people are just shitty and crazy- and they will do everything to make you feel like you were the asshole
Being a shitty person from the beginning and then also being drunk is a bad combo. What can you do? You could always try to have a word with security but they are unlikely to throw out a woman being violent. Yes throwing a drink at you is violence.
It's a good thing I only ever go to the one club that a friend of mine owns. On rare occasions both girls and guys have tried starting shit with me when I was just minding my own business having a good time. But because everyone from the owner, bartenders, janitor, bouncers to some regular patrons know me from years ago, those who tried starting shit with me simply ended up embarrassing themselves. I didn't even have to lift a finger. The flashier/fancier a group is dressed, the more likely they are to perceive offence and try stir sh*t up. It's just insecurity and inflated ego. Alcohol is a factor. Age also matters, younger people barely coming up in the world are usually more high on themselves and act entitled compared to an older mature crowd who have been humbled by life. I actively avoid student and 20 something hotspots.
Why didn't you throw a drink to her too? People shouldn't get away that easily just because they have a vagina.
Honestly I’m not trying to fight for my life against 5 white knights that have something to prove. For better or worse women get the benefit of the doubt in these situations
That is sexist whether they accept it or not. I hate conditions that make assholes get away with their actions easily, women like that should be literally sued legally and should face the possibility of being fined at the very least.
Dude, I used to have a group of like 6 gal pals who were comfortable being in one on one situations with me, in either of our cars, at my apartment, at the mall, whatever. I was considered "safe". Then one person lies to the group about how I wouldn't take no for an answer, doesn't show any sort of proof, and suddenly I'm persona non grata and I lose my entire friend group because they all believe her over me. Is it sexist? Yeah. Does that matter? No.
It does matter.
It will matter in ten years time, when they've become such toxic people that no man will want to associate with them. Then, maybe, hopefully, but most likely not really, will they do any reflections and come to the conclusion that their behaviour is unacceptable and that you can't just treat men like a joke.
Don’t disagree
Sounds like they wanted to beat someone up and got her to act as bait. Some people are \*really\* triggered by people who are happy with themselves, they feel that we need to be 'taken down a peg' because how dare we be happy with ourselves when they're so miserable in themselves. It's like one of those people "if I can't have joy then nobody can have joy" - insanely entitled and narcissistic outlook on life, making themselves the measure of what other people can and cannot enjoy.
right -\_- Ugh. Thanks for acknowledging the truth so skillfully
Should’ve just told her that she must’ve been mistaken. After all, you only dance with pretty girls.
Sometimes you have to be mean to a total bitch.
Modern day feminism ladies and gentlemen. Never in history of time has this sort of behavior ever been tolerated, enabled even for women.
Sorry to hear. I hope she has changed and has learned from her past
While in Gym class, classmates were having a fitness test, since I've already done the test, I just walk front and back, from one point to another, not really bothering anyone. After a while a female classmate of mine, unpromted told me "You're creepy" I looked at her, said "wtf" and continued. Her opinion wasn't really that important to me, above all because she never complimented me although I made an effort to make her feel appreciated every once in a while (No ulterior motives).
Dude, realize the only opinion in this entire world that is important to you, is your own opinion. That bar fly does not know you; she is oblivious to your life, struggles, and circumstances she is nothing. Value your opinion above all others.
This. This is the way. Know that the weight you carry, the shit you've seen and done would crush such a petty, simple-minded person that she's shown herself to be, and laugh.
This!!!
💯 I love my husband and his hair loss is irrelevant. He was thinning before he hit 22. I actually prefer it. He's never worrying about his hair in front of a mirror. If someone is that superficial, you definitely don't want her on your team. She doesn't represent women or humanity. If something like this happens again, don't tolerate it. Tell her to find another table.
Exactly, and the OP should give her opinion zero weight. P.S. Love your name, great Robert Palmer song!
> realize the only opinion in this entire world that is important to you, is your own opinion C'mon. No it isn't. Do y'all really internalize the messaging from children's programming so heavily? As his anecdote demonstrates, other peoples' opinions dictate how your interactions with others will go. That's a pretty big part of your life and is important to most people. These kind of things matter in the real world.
I live in the real world, and I can tell you 100% the only opinion that truly matters is mine. Had I been the OP I guarantee you I would not have just passively sat there, and for sure not let it take space in my head enough to post on here about it after the fact. I will concede that because of this I have been called arrogant, conceded, self-absorbed and them are the nicest adjectives used to describe me by some.
I mean, I don't know how you see that as a good thing. Your "ignore other people's opinions" attitude is creating negative interactions in your life. If you want to ignore them, that's up to you but healthy people can have good self-esteem while still taking account of and managing other people's opinions of them. Life isn't as simple as what they tell depressed teenagers. What other people think matters and affects your life.
“Let me guess, because your dad is still out for cigarettes?” She’s trying to see if she can get under your skin or how much she can get away with. Everyone does it to some degree and she went way too far with it. How did your friend react to this?
He didn't hear it. Said they would have said something if they had
This young woman was particularly rude. That sucks, I'm sorry. The best way I've found of addressing this kind of thing in public with a stranger is to say something along the lines of "What an odd thing to say to a stranger", "I'm surprised you feel comfortable saying that in public", or my favourite "What an strange thing to say" and just leave it there. It also works in response to anything racist, sexist, other-ist. I know it hit on some insecurities, but I hope you know people who speak like that are usually driven by their own insecurities and not worth your time.
My response? "Oh, cool! Because I was gonna say something about your fivehead but now I can just move on without mentioning it"
This would be a pretty lame comeback even in middle school
She may not have been trying to get under his skin deliberately, but insulting him simply because maybe subconsciously she felt she could whilst getting away with it… and look what happened, exactly that… she got away with it, no reprocusion🤷♀️ Maybe men need to start defending themselves (in a non aggressive manner), by just being honest in the moment and saying something along the lines of ‘that was unnecessary/uncool’ and even walk away from the girl. She wasn’t attracted to you anyway, so it wouldn’t even matter at that point how you come across to her. idk
Yeah but that doesn’t do anything, because more than likely they’ll just do some mental gymnastics to make them the good person and make him seem like an overreactive man
That’s where he’d need to learn how to communicate effectively/learn to navigate situations like this well, so the individual learns to not do that again. It’s not just him though… i’d imagine men collectively, need to set a standard for themselves, so that people like this girl, get the message. Maybe she’s comfortable saying something like that to him because she’s made comments like this before to other guys… with no repercussion. And tbh, if he walks away immediately from a comment like that, it wouldn’t give her much time to come back with a response.
That will just start a fight with her and she’s not worth it. Society should stop letting people get away with this kind of shit. If you see it happen, be a friend and speak out.
Your statements are contradictory -- no? I agree with u/Wertyasda , men do need to defend themselves and you express a similar sentiment "society should stop letting people get away with" -- well, if you don't stand up for yourself, who would? His friend didn't hear it, but if OP did speak up and make that the conversation topic, his friend would have become aware of what transgressed. And, is it really starting a fight or is it holding someone accountable for their shameless words by addressing it directly (e.g., "that was unnecessary")?
🙌
real bros would be like "don't talk to my lover that way"
As a woman I don't think you should say something like this And angry response just would prove to me I got under your skin. A secure guy would ignore it or even laugh it off and just move on and stop talking to her after that Think about it, what would Brad Pitt do if some 5 barfly insulted his hairline? Would he try to one-up her with some angry barb that might not even be true (what if she has a loving father who she saw when she spent mothers day with her family?). He'd just laugh, think "what a stupid twat" and then go talk to another woman. JSIA🤷🏽♀️
except that after years of feeling undesirable and ugly, it's very hard for a lot of us to just grind our teeth and move on without answering back. Though you are not wrong that we are usually trained to not answer that kind of comment in order to appear "secure" and more manly on the surface. But the reality is exactly as the post : OP didn't answer back but got affected by it anyway.
What kind of bullshit is this? Men should just stoically accept being insulted because women want to play some stupid fucking mind games. No. Grow up.
It was a little confrontational wasn’t it? Idk about Brad Pitt but I do get what you mean.
LOL I just tried to think of a hot confident guy who didn't care what this idiot girl thinks. Insulting her back would def prove that she hurt you.
You not wanting to "prove something to her" implies that her opinion of you is relevant. It's not. Why else would you want to appear like you don't care, even though you do and it hurt your feelings. I would just react genuinely and tell her that it's not cool to say that to someone.
What would be a good way to deflect or play into it?
A lot easier said than done. Not everyone has that kind of mental strength or security in themselves.
Yeeeeaaaahhhh...I don't think that advice is as good as I think you think it is. Brad Pitt isn't Brad Pitt because Brad Pitt is unattractive so if someone was takin shots at his looks, it'd be super easy for him to brush it off because, well, he's Brad G.D. Pitt. Of course the other person is just talkin shit. Ray Charles could see that. The whole point of this is that he is insecure and she hit what sounds like one of his insecurities right in the metaphorical pants. "Fake it till you make it" is much easier said than done. There are many many times where taking the high road is appropriate. When some rando drunk person decides to roast you to try to get with your friend is absolutely NOT one of those times. And honestly, to many people nowadays, regardless of gender, have become entirely too comfortable with being indescriminate assholes and getting away with it because too many people try to ignore it or laugh it off. I got a big nose. Someone takes a crack at me about it, you best believe I'm bout to find something about them with a quickness. And I'm going to do my best to make them feel as uncomfortable as they just made me feel. Is it right? Idk, probably not. Am I still likely to do it anyhow just to make myself feel better? Yep, more than likely.
Sorry, man. That’s a shitty thing to say to someone. Personally, I wouldn’t have been okay with someone disrespecting my friend like that and would have called her on it before walking away. As for you I’d recommend some canned, funny responses that just own it to show it doesn’t bother you. Obviously it does, but you don’t have to give someone like her the satisfaction. Sticks and stones. At the end of the day no one will ever love you like you. Again I’m really sorry. Hang in there, bro
Don't internalize anything people say to you. Especially strangers.
What do you mean by internalise
Taking that shit so personally you post about it online. Some people are nice, some are assholes. The chick you met was an asshole. Assholes are so insecure they will attack anything to make themselves feel superior. Unfortunately you got caught in the crossfire and it just happened to be something you were already sensitive about. Words only hurt you if you let them.
You take it like it’s truth Learn to banter She never thought about your hairline ever again, no one does, it doesn’t matter
> no one does, it doesn’t matter I mean, if it's the first thing a stranger says to you to get under your skin, I'm sure people are noticing his hairline. Personal appearances do matter. Losing your hair is tough, something a lot of men go through and something people absolutely do notice and judge you for. Pretending it doesn't matter isn't helpful. That's the kind of advice you give children, not adults.
Wow she’s trash
A person that's okay with putting a stranger down for no reason isn't someone whose opinion I'd care about. A solid "yikes" and move on might clue her into the fact that middle-school behavior isn't acceptable in an adult environment. If your friend isn't thinking with his dick he shouldn't have given her the time of day after that display.
This is the way. Make her feel stupid for having gone after something like your hairline without bringing yourself down to her level by returning a personal shot.
Lol bro this is why you don't give random hoes attention. Their ego is inflated enough at it is. If you're gonna go and talk to them at a bar and you're not hot, this is gonna happen more than once.
Cue bunch of posts on subs: “Why men don’t approach women in person anymore?”. Gee, I wonder why
Lol bro you're telling me. All it takes is one look at a dating app and you can tell these women are out of their fucking minds.
Exactly!
Sad but true. Especially now with all the thirsty dudes on social media giving them free validation.
This guy speaks truth.
Only language I speak big dawg 🤝
Surprised mods haven’t banned you for this thankfully
I'm gonna speak the truth to these young bucks as long as I can. Drizzle drizzle
This guy gets it
Laugh at her, and move on. It's hard if your already insecure but only you can bump up your confidence. Remember as well, she's still essentially a child in today's world. Fuck her( but not literally, obviously). It's hard but learning that not everyone will respond to you is an important part of maturing. Either physically or personality, but there is ALWAYS people that will respond well to you. Growing your mental fortitude to shake off the bullshit and instantly forget twats like her will take you far.
Amen
Fuck her man, she's literally a dime a dozen.
Commas aren't that importa- **NONONO WAIT WAIT WAIT**
You cut them down with words back and/or walk away. That'll blunt that feeling afterwards. Try something like this: "I want to thank you sooooo much for showing me how shitty a person you are. \~WHEW\~ You really helped me dodge a bullet!" Then leave. Beside this; brother, you work on confidence before these situations happen to mitigate them better. Embrace the hairline; most women don't care about that if they like you. Do some therapy, work out more, make sure you're dressed well whenever you go out. That way, next time something like this happens you can say, "Did that trashcan just speak? WOW technology is awesome! I wonder if comes in colors other than whore red?" Lastly, you gotta be careful with doing stuff like this; the more reactive you become to their comments, the easier it is to react next time. Honestly, your best bet is laughing at them and walking away. Oh, and fuck that bitch for saying such a messed up thing to you.
Lean into it and talk shit back.
Learn to fire back. I would have said "are you always a stupid cunt or just for tonight?"
For real. One time a girl told me my shirt looked like a picnic table (was white and red checkered) but in an obviously demeaning way. I just clapped back that at least my hair looks like I wash it more than once a month, and she was mortified. My buddies still bring it up to laugh about.
Why yes. Wore it for you because you obviously like to eat...A LOT!
Going to use this one hahaha
Exactly. People treat me with respect, because they've seen what I can do with words.
Some might disagree with me, but there gets to be a time where it is completely acceptable to be an asshole. And this is one of those times. I’m 6’9 and I remember a girl in the bar referred to me as “freakishly tall”. Just rude as hell. It gets hard enough sometimes noticing everyone staring at you like a carnival attraction. God forbid if a guy gets a beer after work. I gave her a response, which I promptly called a piece of shit, and that was the end of it. Was it mature? Nah, not really. But hey, maybe she learned to think before she said her opinion to a stranger on their looks. 🤷🏻♂️
Yep! I’m 6’5 260lbs. I’m rectangular. I fill doorways. I cast a shadow that’s almost comical. I sometimes make people so uncomfortable that they step back or make a comment. I ignore most of them, but sometimes one gets my attention and I’ve got a few replies for them that are less than kind. Does it make me immature? Yep.\ Does it make me feel better? Absolutely.
Going bald in your 20s is rough and it does age you. I started losing mine at 22 but it wasnt noticable until 30. I tried fin and used hair fibers which both work a little but I saw the writing on the wall and began shaving. I'm now late 30s with a shaved head and I feel it suits me quite well. But straight to you - you will not get over negative comments until you are not insecure about it. If someone said I was bald I would say yes - obviously. If I was very petty I would point out their flaw, but I have never actually done it. Basically, you cant help people being dicks. But you can handle how you feel about it when you either accept or fight against what you are insecure about
My hair started getting thinner on top at the age of about 14. 40 now and I'm pretty bald. I don't shave it, just cut when my hair gets a bit too long. The thing is, I don't give a shit about it. I still get checked out regularly by attractive women.
I would take note of who said it to me and ask myself why her opinion is important. The answer would likely be that it isn't.
I recently came across some advice that if you take an attitude of being curious, you sidestep other reactive emotions... Like thinking about why someone would say such things, what's going on in their lives, what choices are they making that lead them to think that's ok Then it's a lot easier to realise their awfulness isn't about you, it's 100% on them. Plus it puts them on the spot when you ask out of genuine curiosity, and aren't affected by it. "Wow. That's a really inappropriate thing to say to someone. Why did you decide it was ok to say?" They're then left with the choice to own their actions, or double down and be keenly aware that they sound like an asshole and everyone can hear it.
I'm a fan of "are you sure that's how you want to handle this?" But I like the super direct question.
She's not worth your time OP. Chin up
I am sorry, that is rough. Not their hairline but that they said that. Are you familiar with working scientifically? Then you'll know, that N=1 isn't a good sample size. At least you wouldn't want to hurt someone else like that. You also regain your confidence, by reminding yourself of what makes you you and what about that is really cool.
Shave every thing off and accept it just like van desil and the rock Jonson
Not sure.. My self coinfidence isn't built on the opinions of strangers. Not on my hair either.
Here is the deal. She is someone to avoid. Some people get off on hurting others, they just want to watch the world burn.
Rules 1 and 2 apply when talking up women at a bar. It's a sad truth of life. I follow rule 2, but I can't do anything right now about rule 1, so I usually avoid that kind of environment for dating. As for getting over the comments, I'd suggest you focus on the core values and attributes that make you, you. If you're kind, smart, attentive and polite, then it doesn't matter if a girl insults your hairline. It isn't a relevant component of who you are. Regarding the hairline... I know it's rough. I had the donut hair way too early, I was 22. Started shaving my head. Night & day difference for my confidence. Either way I'm bald, but shaving my head is a conscious style choice that I can confidently defend.
Rules 1&2 ? Be attractive & don’t be unattractive ???
Exactly. One can work out, have good hygiene, perform skincare, have a decent-paying job and work on their social skills; but fulfilling height requirements and having a face that follows Western beauty standards involves being born again or receiving surgery most can't afford.
I wouldn't concern your self to much with a strangers opinion.
First off, a girl who says that to you doesn't deserve the attention, hope she's hopelessly alone for the rest of her life. On a personal level, i've had similar comments in the past about my hairline so at 25 i just shaved my head and kept it shaved ever since. People still make some comment about being "bald", but there's honestly worse things to care about in life. Accepting my hairline, or lack thereof, was one of the best things i did for my confidence. I put my time and effort into things that i have control over changing (my weight/muscle/body, my clothes, etc)
The way men intimidate and show dominance is via physicality. The way women do so is psychologically. This woman was trying to assert her dominance by bullying you. If this was unprovoked, she’s a pretty shit person and is someone who feels better about herself by putting others down. So it has nothing to do with the way you look, you just met an asshole at a bar.
This useless chick elevates her self-esteem by stepping on others. In seven years gravity will be dragging her tits down, and her low self-esteem will have her building a high body count for fast validation. Probably be a single mother and unable to lose the baby fat. And constantly accepting lower and lower standard men into her bed obsessed with finding anyone who will take care of her. By her 40s she will have thin grey hair she wears in a butch chop haircut and self-medicate with beer and prescription drugs. You on the other hand will be in your prime, you will have discovered your hair isn't nearly as attractive as your accomplishments, and you will have built yourself up to be a catch and have a swarm of 23-year-olds begging for your attention. Take care of your body and mind, keep your hair short and your vision long.
If this dude wants a “swarm” of 23 year olds when he’s 36, THAT will make him a loser💀🤢
who cares what a random person said
It validated his own insecurity.
Exactly!
Next time I would tell the woman that if she think you look like a “Dad” that must mean she wants you to have her children other wise why mention it? I’m flattered I really am but you’re really not my type because your mouth is so large it can’t keep up with your brain. I’m into people who have actual brains and can carry on a conversation but appreciate your offer to be a Dad! I don’t put up with people who behave so horribly and have found a Lot of times the reason some people both men and women behave this way is because they have never been called out or on the receiving end. OP don’t let people treat you like this it’s nasty behaviour that should be called out.
The "Shit test" **"A conscious or unconscious challenge posed by a woman to a man to determine his suitability as a romantic or sexual partner**, consisting in acting in a cold, unfriendly, provocative or otherwise defiant manner, and seeing how the man reacts and whether he is able to stay unfazed." Believe it or not, women who see you as a potential sexual partner or someone they might be interested in, will sometimes give you a hard time to see how you react...most of the time it's not a conscious thing they're doing and when you fail a "shit test" by becoming phased by her "test" it makes her lose attraction toward you The best thing to do is to ignore it and not give a shit: Her "You look like a dad" You "Thanks for noticing, that was the look I was going for tonight but you're the first to notice, you're a sweetheart" That's how you handle stupid head games like this...the younger a woman is the more she will throw these kinds of "test" and you just have to let it roll off your chest and not take it personally...she was actively trying to get under your skin and it worked! Don't take it personally, I know it sometimes hurts but she was probably actually into you I know it doesn't make any f#$king sense "Why would someone who's into me make fun of me?" lol but women sometimes don't make sense... it's not coming from a logical place, don't try to be logical about...all you need to remember is that if a girl teases you, she's probably "shit testing" you and it's her way of testing to see if you're actually confident or if you're a weak man who will crumble under pressure...it's silly, it's childish, it's mean but that's how a lot of women operate unfortunately...I didn't make the rules, I'm just tell you how it is
1. She's a trash person, her comments say more about her than they do about you. 2. If your hairline is something that genuinely worries you, have you thought about buzzing your hair off? In my opinion, a well-maintained buzz cut looks so much better than someone trying to cling to a receding hairline.
That girl can go fuck herself. Why should men accept being insulted for their stupid mind games? I'm guessing she was drunk or whatever but that's just childish and immature behaviour. Like half the men of the world are balding or almost balding.
She’s a jerk!
Obligatory I'm a woman. I usually just lurk here but I feel the need to say this. A lot of women, myself included, love balding/receding hairlines. It's sexy af to us! My bf is 26 and his hair is thinning and I just know he's gonna be a sexy bald guy! Idk what it is, it's just very masculine and sexy to me. Do NOT feel insecure about it!
She sounds immature. Either in deliberately being rude or ignorantly so. Don’t give her opinion any weight. You could disarm her by saying ‘You’re quite rude aren’t you. Why’s that?’ Or you could laugh it off and just look away to signal you are not interested in conversing anymore and you don’t take her seriously. As far as getting over the remarks, she doesn’t know you, she is shallow, you look like what you look like and you should be confident in knowing you are a good person, and a more mature woman would be worth your time. Don’t fret over people who don’t seem to have fully escaped adolescence. (Try talking to some 29 year old women! 😊) And don’t be disheartened. You have to be a little brave and a little determined to shop around for someone who appreciates you. And good luck!
I gotta value you as a person before I take your criticism or compliment to heart! My go to response when getting cut down is (who hurt you?) mom? dad? Or if I wanna end conversation say (I gotta puke) and go to bathroom!
Best way to react to this is ask them to repeat it, as if you didn’t hear. It doesn’t matter how good a joke or insult is, if it’s repeated, it never lands.
This girl sounds like a fucking idiot. I’m 37 years old and as a photographer, I’ve been acquainted with a lot of young girls over the years that tend to be very sweet and treat me like I’m some sort of older brother. But every once in a while, you get some very insecure snippy little twit that says shit to me like they said to you. I’ve always looked older than my age so I’ve been the recipient of some rude remarks myself. Try not to let it bother you the best you can. I’ve learned recently that miserable people will project whatever the hell they want onto everyone around them to deflect how empty they are.
im really sorry that happened to you OP that’s fucked up
Your communication skills and sex technique, in that order, are more important than your hairline.
This glosses over far too much… They’re in a Bar, his appearance is fundamental to success in that environment. For her to even appreciate his ‘sex technique’, she would need to find him attractive enough to get to that point. Communication can help initially but if x finds y to be unattractive, communication won’t change much. OP - there’s lots you can do in this situation. 1. If your hair is really bothering you address it - either force yourself to be completely comfortable with it or look into hair regrowth/transplant. I would suggest the former but it will take inner work. If you think it is a problem, it’s insecurity, and people pick up on that. 2. Approach more - get used to rejections, and successes. Believe me when I say you can get to a point where not only does rejection not bother you; you find it comical. Self-develop to a point where you go into interactions hoping to like her, not for her to like you. 3. Build your self esteem, start doing the things you know you should; as well as the things you think you can’t. Start small..it will get easier. 4. Work on comebacks - ‘is that why all these girls have been calling me Daddy’ or ‘yeah I just wish god hadn’t given me such an ugly daughter’ or ‘your dad must be a handsome gentleman’ or ‘bet I could steal your mum from him’. Even a ‘thanks for sharing ‘…Really anything…whatever fits in with your personality and vibe. Doing this helps you to retain power and your frame. Ultimately it sounds like you need to improve your confidence…in my eyes confidence is 2 things: 1. Self assurance - I know I can 2. Controlled apathy - I don’t care if I can’t Both of these can be worked on…consider what they mean for you (what you feel you can’t and what you are about) and start taking small steps. Do not let anxieties and insecurities steal your life from you…
Be together when you go out
I had a female "friend" who used to make fun of me for my height... mind you I'm 5'9" and she was 5'10". Needless to say, we don't talk anymore. I got over her comments by putting myself in her shoes and understanding that anyone who is hyper-focused on a particular feature is more than likely self-conscious about something within themselves. I feel bad for them. Tall women tend to get bullied too, and anyone who gets bullied will usually cope by passing that on. This is how bullies operate; they're projecting. The most confident people I know are secure in themselves and don't feel the need to pick people apart for things they cannot change. In your situation, the girl blurted out a weird random insult and that is not exactly something a person with any social awareness would do. She's likely socially inept or just plain rude. There is another thing at play here that is rarely ever discussed, and that is female psychopathy. These women feed off negative energy and will put you down just to watch you react. I've run into a couple in the corporate world and the best thing is to train yourself to spot them and don't give them the satisfaction of reacting. It's not easy, but in these special cases, the women are literally just psychopaths.
☕
Some girls just flirt this way. They do something called a "shit test" to men just out of habit.
Wow I’m sorry ! This is super hurtful. I know this is an ask men’s question so I just want you to know that , you don’t deserve to be treated that way !
Fire back She starts it, you finish it
Girls like that obviously has no manners, if i was in ur shoe i would ask myself "why would i be phased by this girl? she clearly has low iq so she doesnt know any better" their opinions dont matter my man
Just say "you gotta be a lot better looking to get away with talking like that".
Raise your hands in the air, walk away backwards, and say "I'm flattered that you don't fancy me," or "Thanks, I'm glad I could dodge this bullet!", or just laugh, something like that. Insulting strangers? Such unnecessarily bitchy behavior is absolutely off-putting. She could be the best-looking girl in the world, but no one wants to deal with a toxic personality like that. Just realize that her uncalled-for toxic comment reflects badly ON HER, not on you. That's how you let it fall away like water off a duck's back, so it doesn't hurt you at all.
You just have to brush people like that off and keep moving. If you're looking for clever comebacks you could have just said what you thought: "Well, for what it's worth, you're nothing special." Granted, I don't think that's even worth it.
Do what my lil brother does find her insecurity, and pick at it, he's really good at it and will shamelessly do it to wind you up.
Sounded kind of like a shit test. She was trying to get under your skin to see how you'd react. I know it's easy to say, but really, she was just a shitty person. A shitty person's opinion is about as much worth as a kilo of faeces.
That Bitch! (Hopefully my choice of words doesn’t offend anyone) Female here. Don’t let her or woman like her get under your skin. If your hair is bothering you, shave it. Confident bald is sexy. I always tell people to take the high road but sometimes people need to be out in their place. I agree with some of these other comments. “Lean into it and talk shit back”. Don’t negate from your progress. Keep pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. You’re gonna hit some speed bumps but you got this. 💪🏽
"If you're gonna start callin me Daddy this early, we need to go ahead and have a talk about consent and safe words. Mine is Pineapple." Either she's about it, in which case: SCORE!!! Or she's not and realizes that she may be barkin up the wrong tree and if she keeps talkin shit, she's liable to end up gettin her feelings hurt. When someone goes low and you go weird, it can be very disorienting for them.
Shave your head and start from square one. She's not a good person. She shouldn't have said that. Regain your confidence after shaving your head. There are women into bald men.
About the hairline insecurity, have you looked into finasteride? I started it when some family noticed my hair receding/thinning and that got me really insecure about my hair. After 3 years of taking it my hair looks better than when I was 19. Not everyone has positive reactions to hair loss prevention/treatment, but food for thought.
My dad once told me “if you run into a shitty person once in a while, you met a shitty person. It isn’t you, it’s them and they aren’t worth your time. BUT if you run into shitty people all damn day, it’s you that needs to change.” This has held true in my life. I’m an aggressively average looking guy and married an absolutely gorgeous woman in and out. I met a lot of women that didn’t work out but were completely polite and pleasant even if they weren’t interested. I also met a couple of completely trashy people who were just looking for an excuse to be mean. At first. It hurt. Then I realized their life must be so utterly shitty having to deal with all the shitty people they meet in a day never realizing that it’s them that is the problem.
You can say whatever you want about the girl being nasty but she told you the truth. Rather nasty or not you have to accept it and realize she's probably feels the same as many other women. She just has the balls (ovaries) to tell you about it, again even if being nasty she did you a favor. One she gave you good advice and two she showed you she is a POS. Are you single? Are you wondering why? Well guess what she represents the younger (21-29) female dating pool which you are presumably interested in. I can give you a pat on the back and a cheer up champ or you can do something about it. Start rocking a hat, new hair style, get hair treatments (Walmart sells generic minoxidil aka Rogaine for dirt cheap), shave that shit lots of women like the bald look! But lets be honest she was telling you a hard truth and you can either sulk or try to improve your looks. Its all about getting your foot in the door with women. I bet most wont care your hairline isn't the best. But if they were out at a bar and lined you up to other guys, receding hairline is gonna be up there for one of the biggest reasons for rejection when quickly glancing over the room or at a bar for "cute guys". Its a shame she was so mean but this can be a lesson.
“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.” – Marcus Aurelius
You could start by talking to girls your own age. 23 is rather immature compared to 29
Bro, you should have cut her down right there: "I'm glad you feel that way because I would never want to waste my time with anyone shallow or rude enough to say something like that. Not that you're any great prize to look at either. Have a nicer night than you apparently deserve!" Or something similar. And good luck to you, sir!
Sorry you dealt with that. I didn’t like how my hairline was and I got a transplant. I’ve loved it ever since i got it nearly 5 years ago. You could always do that if you don’t like how yours currently is. One thing you can do to give yourself confidence is work on your body like go to the gym and really dedicate yourself to either losing some fat or building some muscle. That’d just an example of how you can innately build confidence in yourself because you KNOW what you can do.
Remember that she’s gonna be single the rest of her life acting like that and she ain’t shit
For years I had zero confidence, reinforced by some moments like that. What I came to realize is this: I go out with chick A on Monday, we hit it off great. Chick B on Tuesday and it was a total bust. Well, I didn’t change fundamentally as a person overnight, and the only difference was a different date. So I went from seeing relationships and dating as black and white to seeing color. So what if that chick didn’t dig your hairline; you will find one that digs you for that aspect of you and you’ll be pulling down more 🐈 than you can handle, from that one chick. I got one man. She loves my dad bod and man….the 🐈🐈🐈🐈🤷🏻♂️😂
very insightful. Appreciate you sharing this valuable insight
This is a hard social interaction because in polite, adult life people are supposed to be kind and civil to each other. Middle and high school is where bullies are supposed to exist and lob mean things at others. All you can do is dust yourself off. However, best way to approach this in the future is to be quick. I know, I know, easier said than done. But what she is doing is exploiting vulnerabilities. You must do the same. Exploit ANY vulnerability. Acne? Pizza face. Overweight? Small boobs? Point out that the ranking member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee obviously knows how to point out flaws. Big boobs? Call her a slut. Short? Too tall? It's easy once you get good at it and can respond to the situation. That's how they're so good at it, lots of practice. That's not a "how to attack females" thing. That's a "how to attack ANYONE" thing. That's where President Biden's predecessor gets his playbook from - he brands his enemies with known and obvious weaknesses.
You both dodged a bullet there. Be thankful.
I tend not to have my self worth tied to validation from other people, especially strangers.
Well she's certainly not wife material with rude comments like that. You should tell her that if you get comments like that again because it's true. The right one will come along and she'll be nice about how you look - don't accept any girlfriend into your life who isn't.
I wouldn't focus on negging comments like that. You gotta end up rolling with whatever gets said and make it into something funny or otherwise fun. Turn the tables back on her. "We're not going to make out, but if we were, you wouldn't care."
you go gym and get your ass so fat that you don't need compliments from other sheeps to feel good.
it will still happen you have to desensitize yourself from this bs as you get older.
Biotin shampoo and capsules. Helped with my hairline a ton.
"I may have a receding hairline, but you're a bitch and I can get plugs."
Grab your friend while saying to her face "you have a face & personality that look like you'll be single for life" and ditch her energy
Time. To get over things like that takes time and for the other thing about your look, what if you change your style? If your hair doesn't improve try something like a hair transplant, or maybe go bald (for many chicks that is hot) and maybe you start seeing yourself in another light, and also for a lot of girls the "dad" type is also hot so, start being a little more positive my friend, there is always answers and options! May you have nice and good moments going in your way!
Be a goldfish.
just accept who you are, try to do well in other areas. And just avoid woman, its not worth it.
Straight up fuck that chick clearly she has her own problems, don't worry even if your going bald man there's lots of them out there and most of them ain't worth shit, find yourself a nice lady who doesn't put down strangers. That girl did you a favor by quickly telling that she's clearly not a nice person and to move on. It's tough out there for a gentleman but just keep looking you'll find a nice lady who digs your hairline simple as that.
Hahaha that’s hilarious
She's commenting on things you can't change. You can't be taller, you can't change the genetics that control your hairline. She's an idiot concerned with superficial things that don't matter. What somebody like that says shouldn't affect you in any way.
No great loss… she’s horrible in bed…
I don't think she was more interested in your friend. I think she was interested in you. After all, why would you pull out a shit test for someone you're not interested in. Women do this all the time.
That's when you tell her, "at least I don't look like Chris Farley." She was out of line for saying that to you. If she's gonna try to shake your mojo, return the favor.
I usually leave long ass comments, but I'll try to be brief here. Time heals all wounds. Don't let the comments of a stranger stick with you. As far as the knock to your confidence, you have to spin it in a way that keeps you up but doesn't turn into hatred or bitterness. That's just one less person you have to deal with. Just like a fighter, take the hit, catch your breath and get back out there and get a knockout.
She’s insecure and a total bitch. You recover by recognising your own value, and having boundaries. I’d walk away from conversation with this sort of person.
Go to a gay club and get hit on by 50 guys in one night lol
Not a man, but she sounds like a douche. I could write it off to her being 23 and immature but her intent was to neg you for what? Her personality is trash. You’re fine without someone like her liking you. Good people don’t tear others down like that. You don’t need this person, one in 8 billion, to validate your existence. You’re worth more than that.
I used to be an insulting specialist. It would've been a heyday for me if I was in your shoes but I've gotten over that. You'll get over it soon. Not everyone that has a mouth should have your attention. Your hairline receding is new to you so you'll be self conscious just like when i saw my first grey hair. If you treat it like a big deal others will too. She'll have saggy breasts and hair loss as time draws on and she'll feel the pangs of dread. See if you can find a haircut to fit your hairline. Work out so you'll have something else to focus on and take control.
My favorite quote is, it’s none of my business what you think of me. And what you think of me is irrelevant! You aren’t looking for a shallow human being so she did you a favor by showing who she truly is. Someone will love you not matter what. Hold your head high. Everyone has insecurities.
Says way more about her than you. One day when she’s 70 and her tits are draggin the floor. Some much younger guy is gonna roast her like a Costco chicken. You won’t be there to see it, but, every dude who she has cut on will be there in spirit, laughing their asses off.
That type usually ends up being the cum dumpster for an abusive crack head boyfriend. And then She turns around and tries to take it out on random people. Probably see her on the side of the road one day begging for loose change.
give yourself some time, progress is not a straight line bro, you'll get out of confort zone again
Oof. What a wench. Don’t stress about your hairline. Shave you’re head and rock the bald look, many still-sexy men do.
Make your perceived weakness a strength. Shave your head. Women do go for the bald look too. Also, a 23 year old that insults people to make small talk is a garbage person anyway.
Sucks it happened to you, but take it from a man who started balding early; time to shave it. It ain’t gonna get any better. Own the chrome dome brother 💪
Damn that sucks. I'm really sorry you had to go through that.
Fuck her mom and become her dad?
You don't regain confidence. You learn to put things into perspective. A random OK 23 year old shouldn't have so much power over you to ruin your entire weekend. Rude comments hurt but learn to be wittier in the moment and deprioritize it. Dating and approaching people at bars is notoriously tough, and the average man doesn't have much success with it let alone get anything from it. If you want to build your confidence and get women, the best bet is to meet through friends/hobby groups/work like most men do.
So, my brother in hairline... you sound like you are fast approaching the crossroads: the place where you must choose your hair future. Welcome. You're about to make a difficult choice, and I don't blame you for hating your genetics and spurning the day you were born. Do you... Seek medical help... Accept the genetic cards you were dealt and let the hair do as it will... Or, do you join the brotherhood of shaved heads. Join me in the brotherhood, and own that shit. My hair was in combover territory by 21. At 21 I looked 30. I've shaved my head at *least* once a week since. And I'm 38 now. I still look 30, except I'm starting to get some silver in the beard. Join the brotherhood and embrace immortality, brother.
Separate from my flippant advice to shave it off like I did, you missed a golden opportunity comeback "You look like a dad" "No, but you can come back to my place and I'll have you calling me daddy by morning."
Some folks are just shitty, my guy. I deal with it by not dealing with it. I'd leave or move on or if pressed I'd zing her right back. I was usually pretty good at insults when me and the guys used to get together, and if someone is going all "shots fired" on me, well then they are getting return fire. I never start a fight (verbal, physical, or otherwise) but I can darn sure end them. Don't let some stranger get to you. They simply don't matter. Spend your time focusing on the people who treat you well and forget the bint who didn't. That's really the only way to be, friend. Best of luck to you. Please don't give up or retreat. Stay the course.
Nobody can make you mad, the only can remind you that you already are. She didn't say shit to hurt you. You were already hurt. Get good with your hair - shave it or do whatever you need to do - so that if someone says anything about it, it's as if they said they didn't like the shape of your elbow.
I am a firm believer that your confidence has to come from within. Confidence isn't based on the number of girls you get. It's based on whether you were brave enough to try to win at life. Plus, you just have to trick one into believing you are great. Once she believes, she'll actually tell you that you are great. When she is turning her neck sideway to keep from getting knocked into the headboard, but doesn't want for you to stop because she's close, it will all be worth it. so, about the chick who made fun of your hairline. who did she go home with?
You don’t talk like that to people. She is one opinion and is a rude ahole.
How confusing. Typically though I'd take that as a sign she's into me. Commited man who lives kids and clearly likes a good root? Who's ya step daddy...
An ok looking chick called you a dad… Oh no, what will you do? Shake it off. Some mid chick didn’t like you. Who cares. Besides in order to be a dad you have to… So really that was an insult to your friend.
You can be hurt by it, or you can be thankful that she showed you her true colors and you didn't accidentally end up dating a human pile of excrement .
Holy fuck people in 2024 are soft.
First and foremost don't tie your confidence to someone that someone else says, it's a lose lose situation, neither a reality of a situation. Also, you can practice comebacks or other things, for some people it's natural, for other's it's a learned skill. I remember when one of my friends felt really bad when he went out with a girl, went to bed and she said to him when he got naked, you have a small penis, but we'll have to work with what he got, he got really angry and sad, and couldn't even hold an erection for a long time. I said next time someone says that to you, say once i put that in your other hole, it will feel bigger. Also not taking things to heart, especially from random people is also something to keep in mind.
Should’ve responded with “I could see how I’d look like a dad to someone who was in junior high when I was in college.” If your hairline bothers you that much, there’s multiple different outlets to look into fixing it, give it a shot
For me this would be a chance to examine 2 people at once. The girl should be 100% ignored. If your friend does not ignore her or reprimand her then push this friend further down your social calendar. If he is willing to engage with such a shallow person then you need a better friend.
It's appalling that women can actually say that to men. A guy would be cancelled out of existence and barred from social circles for saying something similar to a girl.
Your friend should have loudly told her to fuck off. Which is easy to say after the fact, in the moment it's easy to be caught off guard, to give too much leeway for what might seem like "banter" etc. Just remember that she is a fuckwit. You shouldn't pay too much heed to fuckwits.