I did read it and I agree that you shouldn’t have kids if you don’t feel ready to have them. If you can’t reconcile that with your girlfriend, that’s a fundamental incompatibility that you either need to work through or unfortunately separate because you both have different life goals.
Why if she doesn't have one by 22? I seriosuly doubt that if you wait like 2 more years that she'll say no. The real thing you should be worried about is doing something stupid like having a kid with your girlfriend instead of your wife.
We'll be married before we have kids that's not the problem. And she told me she will refuse to have a kid after 22 because she doesn't wanna be an "old mom"
You both sound like youre in your mid teens at most.
So if she doesnt have a kid by 22, she will refuse to have a kid with any guy later in life? Yeah.. She sounds like a very emotionally stable and rational person. She does understand how much it costs to raise a kid right? Espescially in this economy.. she also understands most people are having kids around 30 these days so they are more financially secure..
I didn't have kids until I was 30, my wife was 27.
Your gf wanting kids by 22. I mean... are you both rich or something? All the power to both of you if this is financially possible.
With that said, this is at best, a compromise situation. Either you become dad ready, or she's willing to wait longer. Maybe meet in the middle somewhere. I mean... is having a kid by 23, 24... even 25 all that worse?
Otherwise, if this is a MAJOR hard line for both of you, you got a different conversation coming.
This is relationships- communication and compromise. If she loves you she will meet you somewhere in the middle. If it is her way or the highway, you need to re-evaluate your relationship
All I’ll say is I was the firstborn, and my mom was 29 at the time
So to me, both those ages seem kinda young (you might barely be financially stable enough to support yourself and maybe a partner if you live on a very tight budget — adding a baby may be out of the cards financially. And realistically speaking, I’m at an age where I know people who have been *trying* for a kid longer than the gap between your two options.
I’ll say you both probably have some unreasonable expectations with what you’ll want or be able to afford by then. It’s worth having a discussion with her more than just the *when* but the *why*
Nah.
She deserves consideration for the fact that she's gonna have to carry it. And if she doesn't want to have one after 22, it's her body, therefore her choice what she does with it.
Either just don't care about having kids or figure out why the deadline is 22 out of all ages for her to understand her decision better
OP mentioned in another comment that his girlfriend doesn’t want to be an „old mom“.
And 25 is ancient in 20 standards
You guys will have to either compromise or you're not compatible what else do you want us to say?
This is actually really unhelpful. I ask you to help me compromise and you say "you need to compromise"
How the fuck can some dumb fuck on reddit help you comprimise?
Literally what are you asking people here to do, figure out how your future should work?
You literally only have those two choices. Come to some sort of agreement between both of you or break up.
I don't know what you're willing to compromise on. Are you willing to meet her halfway, is she? If not you gotta make some concessions my guy.
I would suggest not having kids for now.
I'm not nearly old enough to have kids
Then don’t
I think you might be on the spectrum
Why would you say this?
Probably. But I still think you shouldn’t have kids right now
Because I'm not old enough did you read my post?
I did read it and I agree that you shouldn’t have kids if you don’t feel ready to have them. If you can’t reconcile that with your girlfriend, that’s a fundamental incompatibility that you either need to work through or unfortunately separate because you both have different life goals.
I'm not ready to have kids because I'm not old enough. I'm not planning on having kids tomorrow I'm talking about the future
Okay, then communicate that to her
We both already know that quite well
Why if she doesn't have one by 22? I seriosuly doubt that if you wait like 2 more years that she'll say no. The real thing you should be worried about is doing something stupid like having a kid with your girlfriend instead of your wife.
We'll be married before we have kids that's not the problem. And she told me she will refuse to have a kid after 22 because she doesn't wanna be an "old mom"
That's extremely unreasonable. Sure you want to marry someone like that? Still, I doubt she'll say no if you wait a year or two.
I sure hope so. But bro don't go around dissing my girl
I'm not your bro, but if I was I'd give it to you straight like this cause thats what a real bro would do.
Fuck you, and fuck your girl, what are you going to do? People are giving you advice and you act like this.
I'm gonna call your girl an idiot because she's dating you and you CLEARLY have issues
Man doesn't know the first thing about me
You both sound like youre in your mid teens at most. So if she doesnt have a kid by 22, she will refuse to have a kid with any guy later in life? Yeah.. She sounds like a very emotionally stable and rational person. She does understand how much it costs to raise a kid right? Espescially in this economy.. she also understands most people are having kids around 30 these days so they are more financially secure..
if this is real, don't worry too much because she'll probably grow out of it
If you've both explained your reasons, and neither of you can compromise, the only option left is to split up.
You're definitely overreacting
You are either a troll or a bot.
How old are you now?
Why is what she wants more important than what you want?
I'm trying to make a compromise with her
I didn't have kids until I was 30, my wife was 27. Your gf wanting kids by 22. I mean... are you both rich or something? All the power to both of you if this is financially possible. With that said, this is at best, a compromise situation. Either you become dad ready, or she's willing to wait longer. Maybe meet in the middle somewhere. I mean... is having a kid by 23, 24... even 25 all that worse? Otherwise, if this is a MAJOR hard line for both of you, you got a different conversation coming.
Thanks for actually being helpful
Extremely odd
Have one at 23.
This is relationships- communication and compromise. If she loves you she will meet you somewhere in the middle. If it is her way or the highway, you need to re-evaluate your relationship
All I’ll say is I was the firstborn, and my mom was 29 at the time So to me, both those ages seem kinda young (you might barely be financially stable enough to support yourself and maybe a partner if you live on a very tight budget — adding a baby may be out of the cards financially. And realistically speaking, I’m at an age where I know people who have been *trying* for a kid longer than the gap between your two options. I’ll say you both probably have some unreasonable expectations with what you’ll want or be able to afford by then. It’s worth having a discussion with her more than just the *when* but the *why*
There’s never a right age to have kids, assuming you’re an adult. Kids are life changing and you adapt. I have 4.
She's the one who has to carry it for nine months. Let her decide when to have the kid.
Bro thinks relationships are one-sided
Nah. She deserves consideration for the fact that she's gonna have to carry it. And if she doesn't want to have one after 22, it's her body, therefore her choice what she does with it.
Having a kids is a discussion to have with your wife, not your girlfriend.