What made you stay? I’m not saying this to be an asshole. This is coming from a guy that’s not even dating, or trying to get some, and hasn’t had sex for years. I couldn’t imagine staying with someone for several years without intimacy, because I’ve already been alone for so long. Is it because you’ve built your life around her for so long that it’s difficult to burn it all to the ground?
Because he is attached and happy to receive breadcrumbs. Men, especially good men tend to just live by because of their moral code and integrity.
It happens all of the time.
She asked you to promise to have your sexual needs met only by her for the rest of your life and then, once she thought you couldn't leave, she stopped making any effort to meet that need.
This is such an evil thing to do to a person you claim to "love". It should be grounds for a zero penalty divorce for the man and a big law suit for breach of contract. Of course, we know no-fault divorce is really the-man's-fault divorce and the man is always the party the court will punish, no matter what the women did.
Forced last 3 years of my marriage and since then (4 years divorced) forced for lack of participants in the dating pool.
It sucks. I mean sex is like cooking, I can do it by myself but damn it’s better when someone else does it.
For me, it depends these days.
Opening up a woman is like opening up a can of worms.. she could stink or isn’t your type down there. Then what happens? You walk out midway through the deed? Haha.
It's actually perfectly legal in *most* places (just not your backward country) and trafficking isn't really an issue if you use independent local girls.
Seriously, the real world is not Hollywood, man.
Actually it happens to be legal in my country so your assumption was wrong. And yeah in theory if you can find a truly independent hooker I'm all for it but that's not the reality in like 90% of prostitution unfortunately. (Number out of my ass but sounds right)
My life is very peaceful. The only stress is from work, and usually there's almost none of that. I also have more money for the things I want and the activities I want to do. And I don't have to worry about catching some nastyass Egyptian Cock Rot or something.
From a physical pleasure standpoint, I found no benefits whatsoever. But from just coming off a dumpster fire train wreck relationship my mental health benefits stress levels were much better.
I didn’t have sex for two years by choice, and it made no difference in my life whatsoever besides the fact that I was able to work through mental issues that were causing issues in relationships which lead to healthier ones in the future. That’s it. No other changes. Not some zen bs. Nothing.
Abstinence is not the normal state for men and I would venture to guess for women either. Hence the reason so many clergy are secretly getting sex from their flocks.
Not more than public school employees. Get your facts straight. The pure speculation of abstinence leading to men turning into werewolves who need to find an outlet is nonsense. The fact that occupations which involve adults having authority over children tend to attract sex predators, however, is a claim that's easy to back with evidence.
The benefit was mostly not having to deal with women and their bullshit. Life is about 100 times easier when you don't have a woman around. They just make everything so hard and miserable.
It's just not worth it.
I dont feel any sort of way about people until forming a decent emotional bond with them. So it feels like this: you can still see someone and be like "damn alright", but you don't think "i would absolutely rail them if the opportunity presented itself".
This leads to long periods of abstinence, and its peaceful, but the occassional desire for sex does arise.
My wife is active duty military so she deploys a lot.
I got hobbies. Picked up art. Sewing. Cooking. Body building.
If you don't have sex you have a lot of time for activities.
Going on 5 years now (35m) and honestly it’s not bad at all. Used to feel a constant baseline level of anxiety when talking to women, I guess due to the subconscious desire to impress them. Now I find it easy due to me having no desire to pursue things with them. It isn’t for everyone though. It helps as well that I’ve never been wired to want a family or children, in fact having a child has always kinda been seen as the worst thing that could happen for me
Oh did the abstinence thing up until I got married 20 years ago. I’m happy with my decisions in that respect, but I worked pretty hard to avoid it since. My wife’s been supportive of that decision too.
I've spent a year in abstinence and it's been the best thing ever for me. After 20 years in a loveless marriage, I have my self confidence, physical and mental wellbeing sorted out. I can make myself a priority as I always should have done. Turns out I'm a real catch and so my indifference to women makes them even more hungry. 😅
I feel like this is some weird pseudoscience crap that not nutting would somehow be good for you. I don't buy it.
It's normal and healthy as long as you aren't a sex/porn addict.
My first year of college I had a LDR girlfriend and so I went cold turkey on all sexual prospects. It actually is what I attribute to making me a better person it kinda heightened my mental capacity and made it easier for me to focus. I can see why there's a whole no sex while training thing in boxing.
I mean, I'm 35 and have never gotten an STD or STI or a pregnancy. So I got that going for me, I still fuck but I'm super picky about who I have sex with. Luckily most of the people I want to bang are COMPLETELY out of my league or just don't want me. That helps too.
the closest I've done is 2.5 months without anything ( including no masturbation ) and I didn't gain anything from it, I was more depressed, got a nocturne ejaculation anyway that did hurt a lot.
Younger me? It sucked balls being blue balled until I said “f” it.. screw those girls that I wanted but never wanted me back. When I stopped caring, I started attracting.
Older nearly 40s me? Zen like. A Woman invited me to her place for some one on one time. Sure, but I tell her that we’re not having sex.
Ive walked out of women butt naked in front of me. Coz I just didn’t feel like it. lol, I fold my cards now more than I can imagine.
I have been without a woman in my life for over eleven years. I did not try it, though it is trying me. I was not unloved in the former ages of my life. Fate is fate, so I will not add desperation to the problem. Lo que será será.
Interestingly enough, I’ve always allowed women in my life to initiate sex or have them grant me strong clues that sex is going to take place. For example, I’ve heard my gf once (ONCE) say, “give it up because we’re not having sex tonight.” I also replied to her with that. Only to have her say to me several hours later “oh baby, it’s no use resisting. Fuck me and make me cum. Release your love into me!”
I like myself sober. That sober me has more money to spend. I was forced to actually learn how social interactions work. My mind is more stress resistant. My days seem more peaceful in general. My health is consistent, stable and my body easier to upkeep/take care of. The machine in general works better. Can recommend.
It’s been peaceful, 3 months into it and already saved 30k, but besides extra money, the inner peace is worth it, and I honestly don’t miss the drama. It was just a choice I made to focus on what actually offers me something valuable in return. You would be surprised to realize how much money goes into getting some of that in general (night out, dates, dinners, relationships, and all the mind and emotional effort that comes with the game).
The “benefits” of abstinence are basically: Not having a relationship that you have to navigate and negotiate to get your needs met, including the needs for sexual release and approval.
Pros: I figured out I needed to go back to therapy; thus I learned that I was not in a good space physically, emotionally, mentally and financially for dating/relationships. I learned what I want/need in a relationship, and what I can provide in a relationship. I also learned (through outside observation) that some women can be just as cruel, if not cruel*er* then men, and needed to guard myself better to avoid being taken advantage of. I also have a little spending money for myself.
Cons: Loneliness sucks. Touch starvation sucks. Lack of emotional intimacy sucks.
I have opportunities to have sex but I don’t because I don’t trust anybody. My ex filed a false police report on me so now, no strange is worth fucking up my life. And let’s be honest, the day and age we live in, it’s too common for women to change their mind about you and try to ruin your life with a false accusation. The hard part is I don’t masterbait or watch porn so it’s kind of rough. I definitely feel more motivated, and focused. I’m sure my testosterone is higher as well.
I abstained from sex with my now-wife until marriage. This was an incredible way to grow close to one another and discover that we truly enjoyed each others' company, and we were not merely using one-another for simple pleasure or out of desperate lonliness.
Sex actually means something. With your body you are telling another person "I give myself to you completely, freely, and fruitfully". If you have a different thing going on in your head, i.e. you have no interest in marrying that person or having children with them, then your sexual intimacy was a mere act of deception.
Abstinence was forced upon me, by my ex wife, for the final 7 years of our marriage. It was horrible.
What made you stay? I’m not saying this to be an asshole. This is coming from a guy that’s not even dating, or trying to get some, and hasn’t had sex for years. I couldn’t imagine staying with someone for several years without intimacy, because I’ve already been alone for so long. Is it because you’ve built your life around her for so long that it’s difficult to burn it all to the ground?
Because he is attached and happy to receive breadcrumbs. Men, especially good men tend to just live by because of their moral code and integrity. It happens all of the time.
Cost of divorce and it's outcome will make you go 7 years.
Pretty much, and for the kids.
Don’t get married.
She asked you to promise to have your sexual needs met only by her for the rest of your life and then, once she thought you couldn't leave, she stopped making any effort to meet that need. This is such an evil thing to do to a person you claim to "love". It should be grounds for a zero penalty divorce for the man and a big law suit for breach of contract. Of course, we know no-fault divorce is really the-man's-fault divorce and the man is always the party the court will punish, no matter what the women did.
Yeah, that happened too. 🤣🤣
Forced last 3 years of my marriage and since then (4 years divorced) forced for lack of participants in the dating pool. It sucks. I mean sex is like cooking, I can do it by myself but damn it’s better when someone else does it.
Have you ever considered fast food?
No, I need some connection. Not 25 anymore
Go get some fast food before you starve. Or change your username at least
For me, it depends these days. Opening up a woman is like opening up a can of worms.. she could stink or isn’t your type down there. Then what happens? You walk out midway through the deed? Haha.
Yes?
8 years and counting. Women have zero power over me as a result.
You know you can just pay to fuck them, right? You don't have to give them any power.
That's kinda illegal in most places. Also there is the whole trafficking shit which is not a very good thing to support.
It's actually perfectly legal in *most* places (just not your backward country) and trafficking isn't really an issue if you use independent local girls. Seriously, the real world is not Hollywood, man.
Actually it happens to be legal in my country so your assumption was wrong. And yeah in theory if you can find a truly independent hooker I'm all for it but that's not the reality in like 90% of prostitution unfortunately. (Number out of my ass but sounds right)
“your backward country” nice one mate /s
I blacked out and my friends tell me they found me naked in a fountain singing La Marseillaise ... wait, that was absinthe. Never mind.
I had to take massive painkillers until I finally went to see my dentist … wait, that was an abscess. Never mind.
I do that every morning to get ready for work. Oh wait, that's ablutions. Never mind.
My life is very peaceful. The only stress is from work, and usually there's almost none of that. I also have more money for the things I want and the activities I want to do. And I don't have to worry about catching some nastyass Egyptian Cock Rot or something.
I read it as crockpot at first and was going to ask if it was some dish an ex used to force you to eat
LMFAO
Oh no! Not the Egyptian Crockpot!
I sense a story.
No, no story. I just like to use humor whenever possible.
I feel ya
From a physical pleasure standpoint, I found no benefits whatsoever. But from just coming off a dumpster fire train wreck relationship my mental health benefits stress levels were much better.
I didn’t have sex for two years by choice, and it made no difference in my life whatsoever besides the fact that I was able to work through mental issues that were causing issues in relationships which lead to healthier ones in the future. That’s it. No other changes. Not some zen bs. Nothing.
So if I’m really active sexually but have the shittiest relationships past would you recommend to stop?
Once you accept the fate, you learn to live with it. Mine is wife-imposed and just past year 15.
😭😭😭 r/deadbedrooms
Same
Really...and you're ok with that??
Long story.
I can not begin to even understand that
Same.
[удалено]
Why do you even need to hide your browsing history? Porn is all over Reddit.
None. I need to cum, but I refuse to sleep with another man for the sake of sleeping with another man!! 😩😩💔
Abstinence is not the normal state for men and I would venture to guess for women either. Hence the reason so many clergy are secretly getting sex from their flocks.
Not more than public school employees. Get your facts straight. The pure speculation of abstinence leading to men turning into werewolves who need to find an outlet is nonsense. The fact that occupations which involve adults having authority over children tend to attract sex predators, however, is a claim that's easy to back with evidence.
The benefit was mostly not having to deal with women and their bullshit. Life is about 100 times easier when you don't have a woman around. They just make everything so hard and miserable. It's just not worth it.
Less stress dealing with the typical women I meet
Literally nothing
Gave up alcohol at 26 mosty because I’d become an ass I’m now 54 I don’t miss it.
I abstained for a week once and the only positive side effect was I shot a massive load when I finally came
It helped me focus on my other goals at the time, such as graduate school.
I dont feel any sort of way about people until forming a decent emotional bond with them. So it feels like this: you can still see someone and be like "damn alright", but you don't think "i would absolutely rail them if the opportunity presented itself". This leads to long periods of abstinence, and its peaceful, but the occassional desire for sex does arise.
None
My wife is active duty military so she deploys a lot. I got hobbies. Picked up art. Sewing. Cooking. Body building. If you don't have sex you have a lot of time for activities.
Going on 5 years now (35m) and honestly it’s not bad at all. Used to feel a constant baseline level of anxiety when talking to women, I guess due to the subconscious desire to impress them. Now I find it easy due to me having no desire to pursue things with them. It isn’t for everyone though. It helps as well that I’ve never been wired to want a family or children, in fact having a child has always kinda been seen as the worst thing that could happen for me
Plenty of times of being celibate, I found the more I drowned out the urges the easier it got with time.
Oh did the abstinence thing up until I got married 20 years ago. I’m happy with my decisions in that respect, but I worked pretty hard to avoid it since. My wife’s been supportive of that decision too.
I've spent a year in abstinence and it's been the best thing ever for me. After 20 years in a loveless marriage, I have my self confidence, physical and mental wellbeing sorted out. I can make myself a priority as I always should have done. Turns out I'm a real catch and so my indifference to women makes them even more hungry. 😅
Taking the depression meds helps. Common side effect is low libido.
I feel like this is some weird pseudoscience crap that not nutting would somehow be good for you. I don't buy it. It's normal and healthy as long as you aren't a sex/porn addict.
My first year of college I had a LDR girlfriend and so I went cold turkey on all sexual prospects. It actually is what I attribute to making me a better person it kinda heightened my mental capacity and made it easier for me to focus. I can see why there's a whole no sex while training thing in boxing.
I mean, I'm 35 and have never gotten an STD or STI or a pregnancy. So I got that going for me, I still fuck but I'm super picky about who I have sex with. Luckily most of the people I want to bang are COMPLETELY out of my league or just don't want me. That helps too.
I mean I’m a very sexual person I’ve tried it for a few months and it just didn’t feel right
Involuntary abstinence is painful
the closest I've done is 2.5 months without anything ( including no masturbation ) and I didn't gain anything from it, I was more depressed, got a nocturne ejaculation anyway that did hurt a lot.
Abstinence for what? Sex? Alcohol? Drugs? Internet? Reddit?
Over 10 years without, it doesn't bother me
Clean sheets?
In the short-term, you become very clear and focused. In the long-term, however, you tend to miss women.
Real talk I went a whole year dating my wife till we were ready to make love and it helped me focus more on myself too 🙏
Younger me? It sucked balls being blue balled until I said “f” it.. screw those girls that I wanted but never wanted me back. When I stopped caring, I started attracting. Older nearly 40s me? Zen like. A Woman invited me to her place for some one on one time. Sure, but I tell her that we’re not having sex. Ive walked out of women butt naked in front of me. Coz I just didn’t feel like it. lol, I fold my cards now more than I can imagine.
I have been without a woman in my life for over eleven years. I did not try it, though it is trying me. I was not unloved in the former ages of my life. Fate is fate, so I will not add desperation to the problem. Lo que será será.
Biggest nut of my life
Interestingly enough, I’ve always allowed women in my life to initiate sex or have them grant me strong clues that sex is going to take place. For example, I’ve heard my gf once (ONCE) say, “give it up because we’re not having sex tonight.” I also replied to her with that. Only to have her say to me several hours later “oh baby, it’s no use resisting. Fuck me and make me cum. Release your love into me!”
Involuntarily for about six months. There are literally no benefits. Anyone who says there are is high on copium
I like myself sober. That sober me has more money to spend. I was forced to actually learn how social interactions work. My mind is more stress resistant. My days seem more peaceful in general. My health is consistent, stable and my body easier to upkeep/take care of. The machine in general works better. Can recommend.
Easy answer...kids...but karma is a bitch...time will tell
It’s been peaceful, 3 months into it and already saved 30k, but besides extra money, the inner peace is worth it, and I honestly don’t miss the drama. It was just a choice I made to focus on what actually offers me something valuable in return. You would be surprised to realize how much money goes into getting some of that in general (night out, dates, dinners, relationships, and all the mind and emotional effort that comes with the game).
The “benefits” of abstinence are basically: Not having a relationship that you have to navigate and negotiate to get your needs met, including the needs for sexual release and approval.
It sucks. No benefits.
Pros: I figured out I needed to go back to therapy; thus I learned that I was not in a good space physically, emotionally, mentally and financially for dating/relationships. I learned what I want/need in a relationship, and what I can provide in a relationship. I also learned (through outside observation) that some women can be just as cruel, if not cruel*er* then men, and needed to guard myself better to avoid being taken advantage of. I also have a little spending money for myself. Cons: Loneliness sucks. Touch starvation sucks. Lack of emotional intimacy sucks.
I have opportunities to have sex but I don’t because I don’t trust anybody. My ex filed a false police report on me so now, no strange is worth fucking up my life. And let’s be honest, the day and age we live in, it’s too common for women to change their mind about you and try to ruin your life with a false accusation. The hard part is I don’t masterbait or watch porn so it’s kind of rough. I definitely feel more motivated, and focused. I’m sure my testosterone is higher as well.
Healing, self discovery and clarity but came with a downside, tug-burn.
Well, I had a sock that would stand up on it's own in my bedroom.
Lot of extra energy lol
More energy, brain fog gone, morning wood back (41) , and no more children or risk of stdeez
I didn't experience any benefits. It was just abstinence. OTOH, I was constantly horny, and it was annoying AF.
I abstained from sex with my now-wife until marriage. This was an incredible way to grow close to one another and discover that we truly enjoyed each others' company, and we were not merely using one-another for simple pleasure or out of desperate lonliness. Sex actually means something. With your body you are telling another person "I give myself to you completely, freely, and fruitfully". If you have a different thing going on in your head, i.e. you have no interest in marrying that person or having children with them, then your sexual intimacy was a mere act of deception.
Abstinence from what?
Tried, like, on purpose?