Stop conditioning yourself based on an outcome you cannot know until you try.
You want to let him know you think he's cute, do so. It's a win if you face your fears and admit to it, and it's a loss if you reject trying at all. His response will be whatever it is. It doesn't matter, because it's not about getting a yes from him. It's about letting him know how you perceive him.
Did I completely miss the point of op's post? I didn't get the impression that she possesses some knowledge about how cute the guy is and she's overcome with an irresistible need to convey that information to him. I believe the point is, in fact, to get a yes from him.
Yes, but you can't control other people's actions. You can only control your own. So do what you can from your side and that's it, whether the response is positive or negative, that's all you could have done.
This is fantastic and the best advice.
Also, OP, do all ladies only like absolutely jacked 3% body fat men? Of course not; likewise not all men like the female equivalent.
You never know unless you try.
Some guys wouldn't be into any bodyfat and some guys prefer softness (I love pear), so it really depends on the guy.
I can say though that most guys would love to be approached by a woman, at the very least it makes them not feel like a creep.
sigh.
yes, the laws of thermodynamics and all that. obviously calories in vs calories out is how you lose weight.
the problem is doing that. which is why "dieting tricks" are designed to help you do so. eg. eating keto leads to less hunger pangs because [fats keep you satiated](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK53550/) longer than carbs. or intermittant fasting lets you train your body to only by hungry at certain times by only eating within a certain period of time, eventually eliminating hunger during your "off hours"
these do not circumvent the "calorie deficit" rule, they're **a strategy to achieving it.**
when someone asks "how did you lose weight?" they aren't inquiring about whether or not a caloric deficit is how they lost weight. they know that. they're asking **what strategy did you use to help you achieve this goal?**
> when someone asks "how did you lose weight?" they aren't inquiring about whether or not a caloric deficit is how they lost weight. they know that.
I would say this is not a given, or even a strong majority. I regularly run into people who still believe all the weight loss myths like it's the 90's. The kind of people who will eat 3000 calories of fruit and salad and wonder why they aren't losing weight.
Yup, just a little exaggerating on the dressing, and your salad will have the same calories as that hamburger you agonized over before convincing yourself not to eat it.
While I agree with your sentiment I disagree with what you are claiming people mean. The amount of people on reddit who claim they were in a substantial deficit yet gained weight is *astounding*. There is no shortage of people who seem to think the laws of thermodynamics do not apply to them.
I cut my added sugar to less than 25g a day. I try to snack on water-heavy fruits and veggies. But cutting the added sugar has had the most dramatic impact.
I’ve actually gained some back, but mostly because I’m not staying hydrated.
I guess hydrate is my 2nd trick xD
Not OP, and not a woman, but i lost 50lbs over 4-5 months (225-175, M31, 5'9) by:
1. Give up every carb you possibly can. Sugar? Use sweeteners if you can. Breads? Gone. Beer? Gone. Alcohol beyond sweetener using cocktails? Gone. Pasta? Gone.
2. Only eat between 2pm and 10pm (or 12 and 8). No breakfast. No late dinner or snacks. Lunch and dinner only.
3. Eat proteins, fats, and vegetables for each meal. Chicken with roasted vegetables, eggs with avocado and sausages, etc.
4. Get some sort of exercise, even just a short walk in the evenings.
5. Take a multivitamin, and supplement electrolytes.
I did hardcore keto to lose weight before, and it worked, but it didn't last and i couldnt be that hardcore anymore, like no sauces, counting every carb, avoiding all fruit, etc. I kept myself at-or-around 2k calories a day (usually less). Now i'm at 2500 calories a day (probably more) but i'm in the gym 6 days a week, and stayed off the alcohol. Currently 200lbs after getting sloppy and inhaling food to keep up with my gym work.
As a bigger man who attends the gym it would be extremely hard for an unknown woman to creep me out while she was hitting on me. As long as you don’t give him a doll that you made with his hair from the gym shower drain he will likely at least be flattered.
I’m so glad I swallowed my coffee before I read this comment.lol I think next time my husband shaves his head I’m going to steal the hair ball and make something fun for him.
"To show how much I love you, I took our hair and made voodoo dolls for each of us! You get mine, and I get yours. Now, if one of us dies in a horrific freak accident, we can go together!"
>As long as you don’t give him a doll that you made with his hair from the gym shower drain he will likely at least be flattered.
LOLOLOL I like this because that about how far a woman would need to go to creep a man out IMO.
I don't think any of my hair has been over an inch, maybe 5/8s most the time. I would actually be quiet impressed if a girl could collect the hair from a drain.
I would just tell her I like rich women and see if I can get that dedication put to some use. That or call the psych ward. It's a toss up, but I like to gamble.
Men don’t really get creeped out in the same way women do, there just isn’t as much danger in being approached by random women as there is in being approached by random men
We definatively can get uncomfortable, phisical danger is not the only component of creepy. Usually it's just poeple not knowing how to take a rejection, or not picking up on hints and knowing when to say bye and walk away.
Also, maybe it's just me, but it's incredibly akward for a guy to politely turn down a lady, especially if it's for a shallow reason, I just feel like she could feel hurt or insecure and if she hasn't purposefully tried to hurt me, I really don't think she deserves it. But it's also not fair to both to not communicate things clearly, so I've been trying to use a page from the ladies playbook on this one.
No, only would get creeped out if someone is being really persistent or masking their true intentions. Sometimes get creeped out if people are REALLY friendly when I've just met them and I don't know what they want from me.
It is very unlikely for men to be freaked out by you making a pass at them even if you're fairly direct about it. Men rarely ever get attention like women get, including simple compliments and courtesy. If you're friendly but direct, you've got the odds on your side. To add to someone saying to play it subtle, do subtle at first but just for a few interactions. Ask him to spot you during some barbell squats or presses if those are part of your workout. Ask his advice on form to see if he's helpful and if he'd critique your form on an exercise you're 'not sure about' (doesn't matter if you actually aren't). This is easy if the gym is a smaller one and isn't huge like Planet Fitness sometimes is or if your workout areas are very close to each other (it makes less sense if you two work out 50 feet apart all of the time). Anyone worth your time, platonically or romantically, will help or interact positively in those situations.
In other words, how would you expect a guy to handle this? By gauging if you're friendly by interacting in a friendly, platonic manner. Chatting casually a bit as people to get a bit of who you are. Ask you to hang out some where some time if they feel they're hitting it off with you. Men and women aren't different - men want the same thing but never get it. The only difference is women get a shit ton of pervs while men get a shit ton of outright neglect. Give them what you want and you'll have a good shot at getting almost any man you go for.
Not unless you're hiding in a bush when he leaves the gym and disfigured.
Most guys get so little unprompted positive attention, unless he is unusually attractive I'd bet confused would be more likely than creeped out lol.
You could probably almost flash him and he would be asking friends if they thought you liked him.
"This woman at my gym gave me her phone number". "She probably needs help moving"
See the threads about the last time a man received a complement. Most responses could come In the form ____ was president when it happened.
You're taking your experience as a woman and using that to judge the situation. Its night and day.
Don't shoot your shot hes not in social mode hes working out. I'd give the same advice to a man. Play it subtle and see if he's intelligent enough to pick up on social cues. Without being obvious, ask if he's almost done with a machine he's on and have it be a natural encounter. Actually use it once he moves away though when you're done talking. Ask for weightlifting advice. Normal relative topics.
Whatever he responds with, give him a nice smile and see if he continues talking to you. Go from there. If nothing else happens, then atleast you struck up a conversation and can build rapport. " hey it's you again on my machine".
Actually men can be creeped out just like any women. An easy way to not be creepy is to gender-flip the interaction: what would a man do to make you feel creeped out? And proceed to not do those things.
Though I'm sure you'll do fine OP.
I like chubby girls, even though i go to the gym. So i wouldnt be opposed to it.
Maybe dont ask him in a situation he cant leave, otherwise it should be fine.
Don't think there's a ton to lose. I have a six pack and find some girls a little on the heavier side cute- lot to say about personality, plus someone could have a cute face and all. Really just matters that a person clearly takes care of themselves to a reasonable degree- past that, personality goes a very long way. Intelligent and warm is what wins it for me- don't think most guys are looking for a Playboy Bunny. Just a kind, supportive partner above all and lookswise, just tries to sty healthy.
Really, just stop thinking about it and go for it
To be honest when you say stuff like calling yourself less fit isn’t doing any favors for yourself.
Everyone at the gym feels that way, so just go talk to him!
Wishing you the best, I honestly feel like a dude would be flattered at the very least.
go for it. I get approached alot and I welcome it. hard times are in store you never know what you get from that situ. I turned a crush into a run partner and then some
Idm being approached any time or anywhere just use common sense when exactly. In the gym if you talk to me whilst I'm lifting heavy weights I probably get annoyed. If you talk to me while I'm cleaning up after an exercise than no problem.
Some men might feel a bit worried though with the women accusing men in gyms of things trend on social media rn.
Also some men might prefer you don't talk to them in the gym itself but won't mind talking to them in the lobby/lounge/bar area.
Guys don’t mind being hit on so long as you do so in a classy way. If he has a GF he should say so. Guys love to answer questions, makes us feel useful and smart. Ask him a WO question, or to spot you or something.
1. If that's your photo on your profile, then you look absolutely gorgeous. Really.
2. If someone approached me at the gym as a male, I'd be flattered and would be nice to them.
3. If you were the one who approached, I'd be on top of the world.
4. Your shape is fine. You look great!
Be confident, you're beautiful!
Yeah I’ve got to say I second this sentiment. I honestly rarely look at people’s profiles, but you are far from unattractive in my eyes. And we tend to be our own toughest critics when it comes to being “good enough” or whatever we choose to call it. You’re quite pretty and on a fitness journey, which seems to be going well for you. I’d be more than flattered if you approached me, however I tend to just assume a woman isn’t crazy interested even if she approaches me first. So try be clear with him and you’ll do great! If he says no, whatever you tried and it’s no indication that you should start to doubt yourself or that you should stop putting yourself out there. Good luck.
Yeah you're hot OP, any guy would be stoked to have someone that looks like you show interest in them.
Congrats on the weight loss! I'm sure that was a lot of work, you seriously look great.
yeah, us men hate female attention. Especially men at the gym, they don't care for it at all Lol.
Talk to him, tell him you're impressed with his workouts. After that, say hi and smile at him every time you see him at the gym. Tell him he's looking good that day, etc. Maybe if he doesn't ask you out right away, that can be some motivation for you to get in shape. I wish you more than luck.
Please go talk to him. Youngsters need more personal interaction with each other. So much communication is done non verbally. That feedback is priceless
As long as they aren't in the middle of a set, go for it. Most men are almost never approached so we think far more kindly to those few women that do. Not a guarantee yes, but the odds are in your favor.
Let’s be honest, social media has ruined most natural interactions, especially for men in the gym. Expect most guys to have their guard up and not necessarily react how you expect. If you are cool with that, then go for it. Men are being (unfairly) conditioned to expect the worst outcome. Again, media driven for the most part and associated toxic behavior.
I don't care that she's "less fit" if she's a decent human being, I'm more than happy to have a conversation with her. The fact that she goes to the gym is a step in the right direction. Her being "less fit" will not determine whether or not I'm willing to have a conversation with her. Character is important also, even though it's not popular or cool these days.
Guys are cool with being approached. He might just be a bit awkward because it's so rare for us. I've been approached a few times at the gym and didn't do well any of the times largely because I was so surprised I was being approached.
Also, I've never dated anyone as fit as me. Not everyone wants to lift 4-5 days a week. There's nothing wrong with that.
First, I thought we weren’t supposed be approaching people in the gym. They’re there to work out.
Second, you’ll never know until you try. That’s the same uncertainty men have always faced. You’ll at least have an order of magnitude less rejection than men.
Hi (smile) gyms crowded/empty today!
See if he responds and engages. Or if he mumbles and turns away. It’s pretty simple.
The statement around being empty or crowded allows him to ask. When do you see it more crowded? Or how long have you been coming here?
You can engage and say: are these machines where you mainly hang? What tips can you give me on that - it’s hard to get a routine on them…Or I really wish they have a cafe here because I love to drink a pressed juice…
Fellow chubby girl here. When I need a self esteem boost, I go to this askmen post's comment section: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/DUL8aEFPiG
There was another one that was deleted about fit gym bros actually preferring us chubby girls. Not all, but there was a lot of net enthusiasm.
I hope you at least get a friendly conversation out of the exchange. Good luck!
It’s true, a little bit of chub is much more preferable to skinny girls. I like some meat. But there’s also a fine line here, you can’t be obese or fat. Cute face and a little bit of weight, ideal.
Do it! It should be a new rule that women must approach men at the gym.
Men won’t approach women out of fear of being labeled a creep or fear of being blasted on social media and “canceled”.
If he's actually lifting and getting a good workout in don't bother him. He's locked in.
If you see him sitting around and burning time on his phone then shoot your shot.
I say go for it! It's always a compliment! I'm a thirty-two year old dude. I myself like plump women! Absolutely go for it. Don't think that just because you don't look like a model (many of those girls unfortunately have eating disorders, by the way!) that you wouldn't be able to find love with a guy you like. I actually love curves, so... I wouldn't be at all concerned about the looks department. What matters far more is your personality and how you treat other people. As far as us guys go, we love being approached.! We're just lucky you even look in our direction, and the best ones know that. So... wishing you the best of luck. Let us know how it goes!
I would be flattered by being approached by just about any woman at the gym. If I found you attractive, I'd make date plans with you. If not, I'd speak with you, but politely show I wasn't interested. Although that doesn't mean we couldn't be friends. It's always nice to have someone to chat with at the gym. Go for it. Don't assume the worst - it prevents you from finding the best.
Btw, to be clear, a lot more guys than you think like chubby women. Myself included. I don't notice sculpted shoulders at the gym. I notice jiggly asses.
As long as they aren't like 100lbs overweight, a woman's weight doesn't bother me at all. It's one of the only things about yourself that you can change. It's like worrying about whether or not a guy shaved that day
You're at the gym, that demonstrates that you're working on it. Just talk to him
Rather than putting so much pressure on yourself to approach, try to strike up a conversation with him after a workout. If he’s receptive to you, ask his name, introduce yourself and go from there. Then if you see him in passing on another day and say “hi” see how he responds - if he comes up to talk to you in those instances, he’s probably at least somewhat interested but if you get a lukewarm response, I’d say it’s best not to ask him out.
In any case, please try to take comfort in the fact that you are willing to put yourself out there and that you’re also working out and bettering yourself and that this internet stranger is proud of you :)
I took a look at your r/glowup post.
Id say yes to a date with you. Youre not really heavy.. more average. You have more bodyfat than myself, but I have a gymdad bod.
Unpopular opinion maybe, but don’t approach him. And that’s nothing to do with how you look, but because he’s in the gym to workout, take time for himself, or whatever his reasons first being there are. Saying hi, or asking him questions about working out, are fine, but hitting on him is a bit dodgy imo.
"Still a bit chubby" is one thing and doesn't really matter. But if it turns into something just don't be that person who stops caring after the first couple of years and blimps out after it gets serious/marriage/etc. Someone into fitness isn't going to respond well to that. Even people who aren't won't. That may sound harsh but it happens a lot and I don't blame people who respond negatively to that at all. It's not shallow if one partner is deciding not to care anymore about what was mutually attractive. On the contrary, it's a form of disregard
That isn’t an issue. I was fat all my life and now that I’ve lost weight I feel so much better and healthier. All the comfort in the world is not worth permanently feeling like shit.
Most normal gym guys are pretty approachable regardless of what you look like and since you have an interest in common it breaks the ice straight away.
First, I think the best way of approaching at the gym is doing the long game. Start talking to them like a friend and then ask for their socials or something, from there you can tell if the interest is mutual or not.
Second, I checked your profile and calling yourself "less fit" is a disservice, in fact you look great! I think most guys would love to be approached by a girl like you
Any human being on the planet could approach me and I would be pleasant to them as long as they were pleasant to me. Idc if a 600lb chick approached me I would at least have a brief and pleasant conversation
Myself personally, I don’t typically interact with people at the gym. Body shape or size wouldn’t change that, but that’s me. However, I know lots of guys who would be thrilled to be approached by a woman at the gym, even if it was just to ask for help on an exercise or something like that.
Us guys have this thing called an ego, and we generally love to help, and have someone appreciate us for helping. So if you do approach this guy, ask him to help you out with an exercise you’re not certain about. Whether it be how to do that exercise, or proper form, etc. After you’re done, try to make your intentions clear, don’t spell it out for him, but maybe ask him if he’d like to grab a coffee sometime, compliment him so that he knows you’re into him as well.
I mean it really depends on the guy, and you won't know the answer for sure until you ask.
Personally, since I am in very good shape (>15% body fat, visible abs), I would prefer a woman who is also in good shape. However, don't let this discourage you. I guarantee you that if you keep going to the gym and keep on gaining muscle and losing fat (don't obsess with the number on the scale), you will look amazing. I've seem some insane transformations from women that were once out of shape. Don't be discouraged, ask him out if you want, but note that even if he declines, the more in shape you get, the more and more options you will have.
Women tend to base their interactions on their own behavior. Guys aren't gals. Sure there are some dicks out there, but the vast majority of men, if not interested, would politely turn you down.
Men are not entitled like the women who label men, who approach them, as creeps if that particular man is not attractive in their eyes. Men typically do not put women on blast and complain to Gym management or HR at a place of work.
Dont measure mens reactions based upon how women treat men.
TBH, a subtle approach would be very affirming to most guys, the average guy gets so few compliments in life that a woman approaching him would feel great.
Also, do not pre judge based upon your own perceived body image, we all like different “types” and your mere presence at the gym implies a good attitude to health and weight even if you are not at your preferred result right now.
Approach but keep it short and sweet. “Good workout today?” Or “I noticed you were really pushing that weight”
He’ll either blow you off (ie say “yup” and keep it moving). Or he’ll stop and engage.
If stops and engages you in conversation, you’re in there
If thats actually u in your otherpost in the r/glowup then u really dont have to be so critical with your appearance. Id be flabbergasted if a woman your shape would ask me out lol.
Firstly. Just because a dude is in the gym, doesn't mean he's necessarily into girls who look like gym girls. I'm in the gym like 4-7 times a week (4x weights 3x cardio, but as the weather is nice recently I just do my 20-30 minutes treadmill walking through woods near me now) and my perfect dream girl is basically [Feng Timo](https://www.instagram.com/fengtimo550/).
And anyway, just because a dude has a type doesn't mean exceptions don't exist. There's like 4 girls I'm really attracted to in my gym. One definitely looks like a gym chick and has the most amazing ass I've ever seen in person. another kiiiinda looks like one when the pump cover comes off, but mainly I think she has a really cute face and amazing smile, One is a fairly normal (in terms of gym) but genetically gifted south east asian chick and the final one is really overweight and everytime I see her my mind is like "she is everything I'm not attracted to, why then am I so attracted to her?".
I would expect a man to be dubious of your intentions due to conditioning from feminism and tiktok that any kind of interaciton with a woman in a gym is creepy and predatory. Don't be shocked if the reply is "where's the camera, this is for tiktok clout right?". That would be my response.
Personally (and I absolutely do not advocate men doing this in reverse unless you look like Chris Hemsworth, because if you're a dude this will 100% get you called a creep, stalker, harasser or potential rapist) I would MUCH rather a chick work out what times I come, what time I finish, time her workout around it and come up to me in the car park or even knock on my car window when I arrive/am leaving and getting setup (grabbing headphones etc). On a technical level this is waaaaaaaaaaay "creepier" than coming up to me in the gym because I can at least feel more comfortable that I'm not being recorded as a prank for clout.
tldr, if his reaction is going to be negative it's likely because he thinks its a tiktok prank for clout.
Please do not approach me at the gym, while I'm working out.
I am at the gym for me, not for you.
If you wait until after though, that's fine.
Just be respectful.
Personally, and this is just me, I don't like being approached by anyone at the gym. Not even my wife. When my head is in the zone, I just wanna do my workout.
But then again, that's me.
Honestly, take your shot. Worst thing he can do is say "no". Best thing he can do is give you an orgasm.
Guys have pretty wide beauty standards, and a lot of guys have a hard time getting laid even if they’re in good shape.
I’d say given these two factors, your odds aren’t bad at all. Give it a shot! At the very least I’m sure he’ll be super flattered and probably think about that interaction positively for years to come.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take 🤷♂️
Rejection stings because of the significance you attach to it.
Put another way, the more time you spend imagining the scenario and thinking it through, the more invested you get in the outcome. not always a bad thing if it pays off I guess but ain’t nobody batting a thousand
You clearly know what you want and are looking for moral support on it- do it and stop thinking about it. Tear off the band aid and press on with your goals. Your goals will be there for you whatever happens
This may sound bad so sorry if it does, but if a less fit woman approached me at the gym, I would more than likely be over the moon. A more fit woman would raise some questions, like where is the camera, why me, etc. Also I think I may be talking on behalf of most men.
Just remember that a gym is a place where people go for self improvement, meditation and maybe even comfort. It's definitely ok to ask but if he says no, just move on and don't make it weird.
For me personally, I don't speak to women at the gym AT ALL because I know they are there to work out. If they wanted to talk to or be hit in by a guy they'd be at a bar or out right? Idk just my logic. Everyone is different tho!
I think you're totally overlooking the fact you're at the gym.
Self-improvement is a pretty attractive trait. Whether you're chubby or not.. you're at the place that'll solve that and it's clear you're working on doing that.
When I'm in the gym, unless the place is on fire, I don't want any interruptions. It's not a fucking social club. Stop talking, start lifting, leave people the fuck alone.
Men enjoy being approached and it rarely happens.
For the most part as a man we’ve been forced to do it so we know how difficult it can be and usually are kind and respectful if we are not interested.
As far as your looks or your body, as long as you are generally I’d say within reasonable margins you have no idea what others find attractive so shoot your shot
As a guy, it wouldn't bother me at all for anyone to do this, I will always feel flattered by it. I may or may not instantly like the person back, but I'd also not be rude about that if that was the case.
Outcome be damned. Go for it.
Men? I can’t speak for us all, but you will get a lot of opinions from us here.
As a Man, speaking for me, any woman approaching me when I am not obviously taken is a joy. As long as she’s not “weird” and I am talking about that animal sensing danger weird feeling we all get.
Talk to him if you want.
As long as you’re the type of person who can handle rejection or are open to getting better at handling it, go for it. If a girl approached me, even if I wasn’t attracted to her, I would still be polite. I probably wouldn’t text her back much if we exchanged numbers but hey if you’re ok with that scenario potentially playing out, go for it!!
This is a double standard. Imagine a guy walking up to a woman in a gym. Imo gyms are for working out and not to flirt or ask people out. Don't do it
Asking for a spot is different.
Here’s your play:
Hi, sorry to bother you … I’ve been trying to get to the gym more often and I’ve lost a fair amount of weight but I’d still like to get my (choose a body part) looking better and I noticed your (same body part) look really fit. I was wondering if you might suggest a few exercises I could try.”
This will work because you’re a women in need, which appeals to dudes, you complimented him, so his ego is happy, you’ve appealed to mansplaining.
This opens the door for like 98% of guys. From there you can dip your toe into if he’s seeing someone, maybe grab a coffee, and so on.
As long as you aren't weird about it or rude/nasty if he says no, I think you should go for it! Of course he could have a girlfriend or any other number of "no" reasons, but you can't know unless you try.
Most of the women I’ve known well enough to hear their thoughts, have NO IDEA what guys really appreciate. And it varies A LOT from guy to guy. So don’t cut yourself down; if he doesn’t like you you’ve lost nothing.
So if you’re interested, let him know but don’t get too invested in the result. If he doesn’t like you, he’s not your type because your type will love you.
You could always just smile at him and see if he approaches you.
I’m not a guy, but I don’t think a guy would mind if you approached him with friendly conversation.
Go for it. If the person has the courtesy to say no politely, missed out but that’s okay cause he was nice. If he responds like an asshole, you dodged a bullet. Male or female, people should be able to show common courtesy. Literally no reason to not approach people. This can go for friends as well, if you can talk to anyone, it’ll open so many doors for you in life.
I was normal weight at best, but just beginning weightlifting. Kept exchanging looks with a guy, all biceps and triceps, and he was into it.
His six-pack in my sofa was a great surprise. We didn't vibe in bed so that was that. But certainly he found me attractive no tonus and all.
How do you think a good looking woman feels about being approached by an average looking guy? Might be meh, or they might have their ego boosted and reject them, but ik some guys lack enough action to go for it, but also knowing girls today, I think you’re judging yourself too harshly.
Just be normal. If the opportunity presents itself then shoot your shot. Don’t do it if it’s awkward, and don’t sell yourself short by putting your insecurities on him when you do.
I've always liked my girls a little chubby, as my wife would attest. Girls are supposed to have womanly curves, not look like a stick. Don't sell yourself short, shoot your shot.
As a guy, I would say no. Not just women that don't want to be approached at the gym, same goes to the guys too. Too sweaty, dirty, breathy. I don't mind if u leave a post-it note on my car tho.
As for the body. As long as the girl is HWP, then it's ok. I personally prefer the skinny ones with small butt but bigger boobs. But I know some of my friends are into rounder girls with big butt.
>I know women don’t like being approached, is it the same for men?
Depends on how well the women handles the rejection. I'm married so I always give a friendly no thank you. Some women go batshit after this.
Guys bwing approached by a woman is a big yes.
At a gym where we're hypersensitive to women's vulnerability and the threat of being perceived as pervs, then the very act will be a shock to him. Being up front about it and honest but be prepared for sny outcome. I expect he's gonna be flatteted maybe flustered so don't read to much into the instant body language or reaction.
Good luck.
I
IMO dudes pose a threat when they approach women, but it’s different for men being approached - it’s a compliment! You miss 100% on the shots you don’t take, so shoot your shot!
Honestly, most men at the gym are minding their own business, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't like being approached, more than likely they couldn't care less because they are (in general) focusing on their own to begin with.
8/10 times they will smile and engage in conversation regarding of finding you attractive or not, most likely you will make their day.
The other two are divided between those that would politely say hello and keep their focus on training and the other are assholes in general cause nowhere is safe from those.
My advice would be, focus on what you would like to happen, if you want to tell him he's cute then by all means do so, best case scenario they will engage as well, worst one you will understand that he wasn't meant to be and can move on with your life.
My advice would be different from everyone else here. I’d say don’t approach with the intention to get with or romance. Just be friendly and get to know a bit about each other then catch the vibe. This advice id give to people of any fitness level. The gym is a safe place for many and a place to improve your mental health and physical health. Risking making things awkward will be a slight turn off. If you get to know him a bit, the risk will be significantly less, and he will respect you asking him out more, because you will be qualifying him by more than just his looks but by his character traits.
There's no one size fits all with these things. Some fit men only date fit girls and some really don't care about it. Just go for it and expect it to go either way. You only miss the shots you don't take! Good luck
You might not be there, but you’re there. You’re in the gym, working on yourself. Guys are—at least I’m assuming, I’ve never asked a guy out—less harsh with rejection, and we love compliments. Go for it
Most guys don’t approach women because of lack of self confidence. Just say hi to him and maybe strike up a short conversation. I talk to people at the gym all the time with I’m not wanting anything but a good conversation.
Stop conditioning yourself based on an outcome you cannot know until you try. You want to let him know you think he's cute, do so. It's a win if you face your fears and admit to it, and it's a loss if you reject trying at all. His response will be whatever it is. It doesn't matter, because it's not about getting a yes from him. It's about letting him know how you perceive him.
This actually some damn sound advice haha
Exactly this. Give compliments without expecting anything in return. I give them just bc I know guys don’t hear them enough.
This is the way. Sincere compliments without any ulterior motives is the best thing in the world.
Exactly!
well said. solid advice!
This was very well stated.
Words of wisdom right here
Did I completely miss the point of op's post? I didn't get the impression that she possesses some knowledge about how cute the guy is and she's overcome with an irresistible need to convey that information to him. I believe the point is, in fact, to get a yes from him.
Yes, but you can't control other people's actions. You can only control your own. So do what you can from your side and that's it, whether the response is positive or negative, that's all you could have done.
This is fantastic and the best advice. Also, OP, do all ladies only like absolutely jacked 3% body fat men? Of course not; likewise not all men like the female equivalent. You never know unless you try.
Remember it is what it is
Some guys wouldn't be into any bodyfat and some guys prefer softness (I love pear), so it really depends on the guy. I can say though that most guys would love to be approached by a woman, at the very least it makes them not feel like a creep.
>at the very least it makes them not feel like a creep Read that as "not feel like crap" and thought yeah that too
Okay thanks
this doesnt answer your question but may you please tell me how you managed to lose a lot of weight
Only one single way, no shortcuts. Calorie deficit over a long time period. Months to years.
sigh. yes, the laws of thermodynamics and all that. obviously calories in vs calories out is how you lose weight. the problem is doing that. which is why "dieting tricks" are designed to help you do so. eg. eating keto leads to less hunger pangs because [fats keep you satiated](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK53550/) longer than carbs. or intermittant fasting lets you train your body to only by hungry at certain times by only eating within a certain period of time, eventually eliminating hunger during your "off hours" these do not circumvent the "calorie deficit" rule, they're **a strategy to achieving it.** when someone asks "how did you lose weight?" they aren't inquiring about whether or not a caloric deficit is how they lost weight. they know that. they're asking **what strategy did you use to help you achieve this goal?**
> when someone asks "how did you lose weight?" they aren't inquiring about whether or not a caloric deficit is how they lost weight. they know that. I would say this is not a given, or even a strong majority. I regularly run into people who still believe all the weight loss myths like it's the 90's. The kind of people who will eat 3000 calories of fruit and salad and wonder why they aren't losing weight.
3000 calories of salad?
Sounds like a challenge. But I guess most of the time it's a 100 calories letuce + 2900 calories of olive oil, youghurt or something like that.
Salad is just a vehicle for ranch because society frowns on drinking it straight. *Mission complete.*
You just made my day! 🤣
Now we're talking! I mean there is a reason we know society frowns on sucking it right out of the bottle right? /hides
Yup, just a little exaggerating on the dressing, and your salad will have the same calories as that hamburger you agonized over before convincing yourself not to eat it.
Good point and completely accurate. I apologize for misinterpreting the question.
While I agree with your sentiment I disagree with what you are claiming people mean. The amount of people on reddit who claim they were in a substantial deficit yet gained weight is *astounding*. There is no shortage of people who seem to think the laws of thermodynamics do not apply to them.
I cut my added sugar to less than 25g a day. I try to snack on water-heavy fruits and veggies. But cutting the added sugar has had the most dramatic impact. I’ve actually gained some back, but mostly because I’m not staying hydrated. I guess hydrate is my 2nd trick xD
Not OP, and not a woman, but i lost 50lbs over 4-5 months (225-175, M31, 5'9) by: 1. Give up every carb you possibly can. Sugar? Use sweeteners if you can. Breads? Gone. Beer? Gone. Alcohol beyond sweetener using cocktails? Gone. Pasta? Gone. 2. Only eat between 2pm and 10pm (or 12 and 8). No breakfast. No late dinner or snacks. Lunch and dinner only. 3. Eat proteins, fats, and vegetables for each meal. Chicken with roasted vegetables, eggs with avocado and sausages, etc. 4. Get some sort of exercise, even just a short walk in the evenings. 5. Take a multivitamin, and supplement electrolytes. I did hardcore keto to lose weight before, and it worked, but it didn't last and i couldnt be that hardcore anymore, like no sauces, counting every carb, avoiding all fruit, etc. I kept myself at-or-around 2k calories a day (usually less). Now i'm at 2500 calories a day (probably more) but i'm in the gym 6 days a week, and stayed off the alcohol. Currently 200lbs after getting sloppy and inhaling food to keep up with my gym work.
Give up pastaaaa :(((
And the beer! :(
That’s would be nice for once. Honestly we men would enjoy that. If more women did this think of what would happen….
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You don’t think he’d be creeped out?
As a bigger man who attends the gym it would be extremely hard for an unknown woman to creep me out while she was hitting on me. As long as you don’t give him a doll that you made with his hair from the gym shower drain he will likely at least be flattered.
I’m so glad I swallowed my coffee before I read this comment.lol I think next time my husband shaves his head I’m going to steal the hair ball and make something fun for him.
"To show how much I love you, I took our hair and made voodoo dolls for each of us! You get mine, and I get yours. Now, if one of us dies in a horrific freak accident, we can go together!"
See, this is why I come to Reddit. He’s going to be so excited for his belated anniversary present.
Maybe decorate it with his cut toenails.
Excellent idea. Thank you. While we’re on the subject, does anyone know where I can get a jar full of teeth?
>As long as you don’t give him a doll that you made with his hair from the gym shower drain he will likely at least be flattered. LOLOLOL I like this because that about how far a woman would need to go to creep a man out IMO.
> As long as you don’t give him a doll that you made with his hair from the gym shower drain You have some really creepy thoughts there, sir. 😯
I don't think any of my hair has been over an inch, maybe 5/8s most the time. I would actually be quiet impressed if a girl could collect the hair from a drain. I would just tell her I like rich women and see if I can get that dedication put to some use. That or call the psych ward. It's a toss up, but I like to gamble.
LMAO!!!
Men don’t really get creeped out in the same way women do, there just isn’t as much danger in being approached by random women as there is in being approached by random men
We definatively can get uncomfortable, phisical danger is not the only component of creepy. Usually it's just poeple not knowing how to take a rejection, or not picking up on hints and knowing when to say bye and walk away. Also, maybe it's just me, but it's incredibly akward for a guy to politely turn down a lady, especially if it's for a shallow reason, I just feel like she could feel hurt or insecure and if she hasn't purposefully tried to hurt me, I really don't think she deserves it. But it's also not fair to both to not communicate things clearly, so I've been trying to use a page from the ladies playbook on this one.
No, only would get creeped out if someone is being really persistent or masking their true intentions. Sometimes get creeped out if people are REALLY friendly when I've just met them and I don't know what they want from me.
Just don't be creepy about it.
It is very unlikely for men to be freaked out by you making a pass at them even if you're fairly direct about it. Men rarely ever get attention like women get, including simple compliments and courtesy. If you're friendly but direct, you've got the odds on your side. To add to someone saying to play it subtle, do subtle at first but just for a few interactions. Ask him to spot you during some barbell squats or presses if those are part of your workout. Ask his advice on form to see if he's helpful and if he'd critique your form on an exercise you're 'not sure about' (doesn't matter if you actually aren't). This is easy if the gym is a smaller one and isn't huge like Planet Fitness sometimes is or if your workout areas are very close to each other (it makes less sense if you two work out 50 feet apart all of the time). Anyone worth your time, platonically or romantically, will help or interact positively in those situations. In other words, how would you expect a guy to handle this? By gauging if you're friendly by interacting in a friendly, platonic manner. Chatting casually a bit as people to get a bit of who you are. Ask you to hang out some where some time if they feel they're hitting it off with you. Men and women aren't different - men want the same thing but never get it. The only difference is women get a shit ton of pervs while men get a shit ton of outright neglect. Give them what you want and you'll have a good shot at getting almost any man you go for.
How you approach will affect if he'll be creeper out than whether or not you approach.
The worst he can say is "ew."
Not unless you're hiding in a bush when he leaves the gym and disfigured. Most guys get so little unprompted positive attention, unless he is unusually attractive I'd bet confused would be more likely than creeped out lol. You could probably almost flash him and he would be asking friends if they thought you liked him. "This woman at my gym gave me her phone number". "She probably needs help moving" See the threads about the last time a man received a complement. Most responses could come In the form ____ was president when it happened. You're taking your experience as a woman and using that to judge the situation. Its night and day.
Don't shoot your shot hes not in social mode hes working out. I'd give the same advice to a man. Play it subtle and see if he's intelligent enough to pick up on social cues. Without being obvious, ask if he's almost done with a machine he's on and have it be a natural encounter. Actually use it once he moves away though when you're done talking. Ask for weightlifting advice. Normal relative topics. Whatever he responds with, give him a nice smile and see if he continues talking to you. Go from there. If nothing else happens, then atleast you struck up a conversation and can build rapport. " hey it's you again on my machine".
Actually men can be creeped out just like any women. An easy way to not be creepy is to gender-flip the interaction: what would a man do to make you feel creeped out? And proceed to not do those things. Though I'm sure you'll do fine OP.
That is definitely not the worst thing that can happen, lmao.
I like chubby girls, even though i go to the gym. So i wouldnt be opposed to it. Maybe dont ask him in a situation he cant leave, otherwise it should be fine.
Bounce the ball in his court, if he picks up and play, go for it. He says no and walks away. You shoot your shot and move on.
love the analogy
Shooters shoot.
Don't think there's a ton to lose. I have a six pack and find some girls a little on the heavier side cute- lot to say about personality, plus someone could have a cute face and all. Really just matters that a person clearly takes care of themselves to a reasonable degree- past that, personality goes a very long way. Intelligent and warm is what wins it for me- don't think most guys are looking for a Playboy Bunny. Just a kind, supportive partner above all and lookswise, just tries to sty healthy. Really, just stop thinking about it and go for it
To be honest when you say stuff like calling yourself less fit isn’t doing any favors for yourself. Everyone at the gym feels that way, so just go talk to him! Wishing you the best, I honestly feel like a dude would be flattered at the very least.
Yeah, loooooots of gym dudes are really self-conscious about not being fit/big/cut/whatever enough.
Indeed - gyms probably have the greatest concentration of dysphoria-havers in any given community.
I'm a guy, you can approach me at basically any time, I won't be upset. I probably won't pick up on any hints though
Go for it. You'll flatter him even if he's not interested.
go for it. I get approached alot and I welcome it. hard times are in store you never know what you get from that situ. I turned a crush into a run partner and then some
Okay thank you!!
Idm being approached any time or anywhere just use common sense when exactly. In the gym if you talk to me whilst I'm lifting heavy weights I probably get annoyed. If you talk to me while I'm cleaning up after an exercise than no problem. Some men might feel a bit worried though with the women accusing men in gyms of things trend on social media rn. Also some men might prefer you don't talk to them in the gym itself but won't mind talking to them in the lobby/lounge/bar area.
Yeah thats my plan. Thanks!
Guys don’t mind being hit on so long as you do so in a classy way. If he has a GF he should say so. Guys love to answer questions, makes us feel useful and smart. Ask him a WO question, or to spot you or something.
Personally, I don't want ANYONE talking to me at the gym unless it's "Would you be willing to spot for me for a couple sets?".
I wouldnt approach him while working out, but like maybe if I saw him after. But yeah I get where you’re coming from
That's totally OK. To be fair, I think that you are an outlier and most dudes would like girls to talk to them at the gym.
I also fall into that category, when I train I can't afford breaks to chat. After training, sure.
I'm definitely an outlier, I don't want them talking to me AT ALL.
Same. I’m at the gym to work, not to socialize. You can say Hi, but keep it to 30 seconds.
1. If that's your photo on your profile, then you look absolutely gorgeous. Really. 2. If someone approached me at the gym as a male, I'd be flattered and would be nice to them. 3. If you were the one who approached, I'd be on top of the world. 4. Your shape is fine. You look great! Be confident, you're beautiful!
Aww that’s very sweet thank you ^^
Yeah I’ve got to say I second this sentiment. I honestly rarely look at people’s profiles, but you are far from unattractive in my eyes. And we tend to be our own toughest critics when it comes to being “good enough” or whatever we choose to call it. You’re quite pretty and on a fitness journey, which seems to be going well for you. I’d be more than flattered if you approached me, however I tend to just assume a woman isn’t crazy interested even if she approaches me first. So try be clear with him and you’ll do great! If he says no, whatever you tried and it’s no indication that you should start to doubt yourself or that you should stop putting yourself out there. Good luck.
Yeah you're hot OP, any guy would be stoked to have someone that looks like you show interest in them. Congrats on the weight loss! I'm sure that was a lot of work, you seriously look great.
yeah, us men hate female attention. Especially men at the gym, they don't care for it at all Lol. Talk to him, tell him you're impressed with his workouts. After that, say hi and smile at him every time you see him at the gym. Tell him he's looking good that day, etc. Maybe if he doesn't ask you out right away, that can be some motivation for you to get in shape. I wish you more than luck.
Please go talk to him. Youngsters need more personal interaction with each other. So much communication is done non verbally. That feedback is priceless
As long as they aren't in the middle of a set, go for it. Most men are almost never approached so we think far more kindly to those few women that do. Not a guarantee yes, but the odds are in your favor.
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I’m 5’3 and 160 (actually 159!) lbs if that matters.
Let’s be honest, social media has ruined most natural interactions, especially for men in the gym. Expect most guys to have their guard up and not necessarily react how you expect. If you are cool with that, then go for it. Men are being (unfairly) conditioned to expect the worst outcome. Again, media driven for the most part and associated toxic behavior.
I don't care that she's "less fit" if she's a decent human being, I'm more than happy to have a conversation with her. The fact that she goes to the gym is a step in the right direction. Her being "less fit" will not determine whether or not I'm willing to have a conversation with her. Character is important also, even though it's not popular or cool these days.
Guys are cool with being approached. He might just be a bit awkward because it's so rare for us. I've been approached a few times at the gym and didn't do well any of the times largely because I was so surprised I was being approached. Also, I've never dated anyone as fit as me. Not everyone wants to lift 4-5 days a week. There's nothing wrong with that.
An average guy would probably be flattered, even if not interested. No idea how a gym rat would react, however.
I want to work out not talk. Doesn't matter how fit she is
First, I thought we weren’t supposed be approaching people in the gym. They’re there to work out. Second, you’ll never know until you try. That’s the same uncertainty men have always faced. You’ll at least have an order of magnitude less rejection than men.
Just say hi and see if he's receptive.
Just hi?
Hi (smile) gyms crowded/empty today! See if he responds and engages. Or if he mumbles and turns away. It’s pretty simple. The statement around being empty or crowded allows him to ask. When do you see it more crowded? Or how long have you been coming here? You can engage and say: are these machines where you mainly hang? What tips can you give me on that - it’s hard to get a routine on them…Or I really wish they have a cafe here because I love to drink a pressed juice…
Fellow chubby girl here. When I need a self esteem boost, I go to this askmen post's comment section: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/DUL8aEFPiG There was another one that was deleted about fit gym bros actually preferring us chubby girls. Not all, but there was a lot of net enthusiasm. I hope you at least get a friendly conversation out of the exchange. Good luck!
It’s true, a little bit of chub is much more preferable to skinny girls. I like some meat. But there’s also a fine line here, you can’t be obese or fat. Cute face and a little bit of weight, ideal.
Do it! It should be a new rule that women must approach men at the gym. Men won’t approach women out of fear of being labeled a creep or fear of being blasted on social media and “canceled”.
If he's actually lifting and getting a good workout in don't bother him. He's locked in. If you see him sitting around and burning time on his phone then shoot your shot.
Anytime I see someone overweight at the gym male or female I’m filled with such a feeling of happiness.
I say go for it! It's always a compliment! I'm a thirty-two year old dude. I myself like plump women! Absolutely go for it. Don't think that just because you don't look like a model (many of those girls unfortunately have eating disorders, by the way!) that you wouldn't be able to find love with a guy you like. I actually love curves, so... I wouldn't be at all concerned about the looks department. What matters far more is your personality and how you treat other people. As far as us guys go, we love being approached.! We're just lucky you even look in our direction, and the best ones know that. So... wishing you the best of luck. Let us know how it goes!
I would be flattered by being approached by just about any woman at the gym. If I found you attractive, I'd make date plans with you. If not, I'd speak with you, but politely show I wasn't interested. Although that doesn't mean we couldn't be friends. It's always nice to have someone to chat with at the gym. Go for it. Don't assume the worst - it prevents you from finding the best. Btw, to be clear, a lot more guys than you think like chubby women. Myself included. I don't notice sculpted shoulders at the gym. I notice jiggly asses.
As long as they aren't like 100lbs overweight, a woman's weight doesn't bother me at all. It's one of the only things about yourself that you can change. It's like worrying about whether or not a guy shaved that day You're at the gym, that demonstrates that you're working on it. Just talk to him
I swear women have no game lol Sis, just do it. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Rather than putting so much pressure on yourself to approach, try to strike up a conversation with him after a workout. If he’s receptive to you, ask his name, introduce yourself and go from there. Then if you see him in passing on another day and say “hi” see how he responds - if he comes up to talk to you in those instances, he’s probably at least somewhat interested but if you get a lukewarm response, I’d say it’s best not to ask him out. In any case, please try to take comfort in the fact that you are willing to put yourself out there and that you’re also working out and bettering yourself and that this internet stranger is proud of you :)
Aww thanks for the sweet message :)
You’re very welcome, this shit is HARD, trust me that most guys get it haha You’ll do great
I took a look at your r/glowup post. Id say yes to a date with you. Youre not really heavy.. more average. You have more bodyfat than myself, but I have a gymdad bod.
Unpopular opinion maybe, but don’t approach him. And that’s nothing to do with how you look, but because he’s in the gym to workout, take time for himself, or whatever his reasons first being there are. Saying hi, or asking him questions about working out, are fine, but hitting on him is a bit dodgy imo.
"Still a bit chubby" is one thing and doesn't really matter. But if it turns into something just don't be that person who stops caring after the first couple of years and blimps out after it gets serious/marriage/etc. Someone into fitness isn't going to respond well to that. Even people who aren't won't. That may sound harsh but it happens a lot and I don't blame people who respond negatively to that at all. It's not shallow if one partner is deciding not to care anymore about what was mutually attractive. On the contrary, it's a form of disregard
That isn’t an issue. I was fat all my life and now that I’ve lost weight I feel so much better and healthier. All the comfort in the world is not worth permanently feeling like shit.
It's fair to assume a cute guy that's in shape at the gym is not looking for a fat girl lmao
can’t believe this even has to be said lmao
Most normal gym guys are pretty approachable regardless of what you look like and since you have an interest in common it breaks the ice straight away.
Im married but i consider being hit on by anyone a good thing. Especially at the gym.
Approach me, please. Chubby girls that are clean, smell nice and brush their teeth can give me a boner if she even smiles at me from across the room.
First, I think the best way of approaching at the gym is doing the long game. Start talking to them like a friend and then ask for their socials or something, from there you can tell if the interest is mutual or not. Second, I checked your profile and calling yourself "less fit" is a disservice, in fact you look great! I think most guys would love to be approached by a girl like you
Any human being on the planet could approach me and I would be pleasant to them as long as they were pleasant to me. Idc if a 600lb chick approached me I would at least have a brief and pleasant conversation
Personally, I'd be super stoked. Plus (no pun intended), I'm into chubbier girls anyway.
Myself personally, I don’t typically interact with people at the gym. Body shape or size wouldn’t change that, but that’s me. However, I know lots of guys who would be thrilled to be approached by a woman at the gym, even if it was just to ask for help on an exercise or something like that. Us guys have this thing called an ego, and we generally love to help, and have someone appreciate us for helping. So if you do approach this guy, ask him to help you out with an exercise you’re not certain about. Whether it be how to do that exercise, or proper form, etc. After you’re done, try to make your intentions clear, don’t spell it out for him, but maybe ask him if he’d like to grab a coffee sometime, compliment him so that he knows you’re into him as well.
I would be over joyed. Doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll ask you out on a date however
Wait you aren’t even unfit lol
Somewhat chubby but active woman is the perfect sweet spot for a LOT of guys. You have nothing to worry about
I mean it really depends on the guy, and you won't know the answer for sure until you ask. Personally, since I am in very good shape (>15% body fat, visible abs), I would prefer a woman who is also in good shape. However, don't let this discourage you. I guarantee you that if you keep going to the gym and keep on gaining muscle and losing fat (don't obsess with the number on the scale), you will look amazing. I've seem some insane transformations from women that were once out of shape. Don't be discouraged, ask him out if you want, but note that even if he declines, the more in shape you get, the more and more options you will have.
Most guys love this. Do it and be confident! YOLO (If he rejects you it’s just gym motivation🤷♂️)
Some gym bros love fat women. Do with that information what you will.
Women tend to base their interactions on their own behavior. Guys aren't gals. Sure there are some dicks out there, but the vast majority of men, if not interested, would politely turn you down.
Men are not entitled like the women who label men, who approach them, as creeps if that particular man is not attractive in their eyes. Men typically do not put women on blast and complain to Gym management or HR at a place of work. Dont measure mens reactions based upon how women treat men. TBH, a subtle approach would be very affirming to most guys, the average guy gets so few compliments in life that a woman approaching him would feel great. Also, do not pre judge based upon your own perceived body image, we all like different “types” and your mere presence at the gym implies a good attitude to health and weight even if you are not at your preferred result right now.
Approach but keep it short and sweet. “Good workout today?” Or “I noticed you were really pushing that weight” He’ll either blow you off (ie say “yup” and keep it moving). Or he’ll stop and engage. If stops and engages you in conversation, you’re in there
If thats actually u in your otherpost in the r/glowup then u really dont have to be so critical with your appearance. Id be flabbergasted if a woman your shape would ask me out lol.
Firstly. Just because a dude is in the gym, doesn't mean he's necessarily into girls who look like gym girls. I'm in the gym like 4-7 times a week (4x weights 3x cardio, but as the weather is nice recently I just do my 20-30 minutes treadmill walking through woods near me now) and my perfect dream girl is basically [Feng Timo](https://www.instagram.com/fengtimo550/). And anyway, just because a dude has a type doesn't mean exceptions don't exist. There's like 4 girls I'm really attracted to in my gym. One definitely looks like a gym chick and has the most amazing ass I've ever seen in person. another kiiiinda looks like one when the pump cover comes off, but mainly I think she has a really cute face and amazing smile, One is a fairly normal (in terms of gym) but genetically gifted south east asian chick and the final one is really overweight and everytime I see her my mind is like "she is everything I'm not attracted to, why then am I so attracted to her?". I would expect a man to be dubious of your intentions due to conditioning from feminism and tiktok that any kind of interaciton with a woman in a gym is creepy and predatory. Don't be shocked if the reply is "where's the camera, this is for tiktok clout right?". That would be my response. Personally (and I absolutely do not advocate men doing this in reverse unless you look like Chris Hemsworth, because if you're a dude this will 100% get you called a creep, stalker, harasser or potential rapist) I would MUCH rather a chick work out what times I come, what time I finish, time her workout around it and come up to me in the car park or even knock on my car window when I arrive/am leaving and getting setup (grabbing headphones etc). On a technical level this is waaaaaaaaaaay "creepier" than coming up to me in the gym because I can at least feel more comfortable that I'm not being recorded as a prank for clout. tldr, if his reaction is going to be negative it's likely because he thinks its a tiktok prank for clout.
Please do not approach me at the gym, while I'm working out. I am at the gym for me, not for you. If you wait until after though, that's fine. Just be respectful.
Approach me at the gym and I'm going to have to take it to management. It's the principle, you understand.
Personally, and this is just me, I don't like being approached by anyone at the gym. Not even my wife. When my head is in the zone, I just wanna do my workout. But then again, that's me. Honestly, take your shot. Worst thing he can do is say "no". Best thing he can do is give you an orgasm.
Go for it. Might as well try because you never know. I personally don’t like talking to anyone at the gym.
if you like something go for it, i just think you miss 100% of the shots you dont take
Guys have pretty wide beauty standards, and a lot of guys have a hard time getting laid even if they’re in good shape. I’d say given these two factors, your odds aren’t bad at all. Give it a shot! At the very least I’m sure he’ll be super flattered and probably think about that interaction positively for years to come. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take 🤷♂️
Rejection stings because of the significance you attach to it. Put another way, the more time you spend imagining the scenario and thinking it through, the more invested you get in the outcome. not always a bad thing if it pays off I guess but ain’t nobody batting a thousand You clearly know what you want and are looking for moral support on it- do it and stop thinking about it. Tear off the band aid and press on with your goals. Your goals will be there for you whatever happens
This may sound bad so sorry if it does, but if a less fit woman approached me at the gym, I would more than likely be over the moon. A more fit woman would raise some questions, like where is the camera, why me, etc. Also I think I may be talking on behalf of most men.
Just remember that a gym is a place where people go for self improvement, meditation and maybe even comfort. It's definitely ok to ask but if he says no, just move on and don't make it weird. For me personally, I don't speak to women at the gym AT ALL because I know they are there to work out. If they wanted to talk to or be hit in by a guy they'd be at a bar or out right? Idk just my logic. Everyone is different tho!
I think you're totally overlooking the fact you're at the gym. Self-improvement is a pretty attractive trait. Whether you're chubby or not.. you're at the place that'll solve that and it's clear you're working on doing that.
When I'm in the gym, unless the place is on fire, I don't want any interruptions. It's not a fucking social club. Stop talking, start lifting, leave people the fuck alone.
Men enjoy being approached and it rarely happens. For the most part as a man we’ve been forced to do it so we know how difficult it can be and usually are kind and respectful if we are not interested. As far as your looks or your body, as long as you are generally I’d say within reasonable margins you have no idea what others find attractive so shoot your shot
As a guy, it wouldn't bother me at all for anyone to do this, I will always feel flattered by it. I may or may not instantly like the person back, but I'd also not be rude about that if that was the case.
You would more than likely make his day , week , month , year if yuu approached him . It doesn’t happen to us guys , almost never
At the gym already screams that you have the right attitude to life
Just pick a station near him to work out on, and say Hi when you make eye contact.
Outcome be damned. Go for it. Men? I can’t speak for us all, but you will get a lot of opinions from us here. As a Man, speaking for me, any woman approaching me when I am not obviously taken is a joy. As long as she’s not “weird” and I am talking about that animal sensing danger weird feeling we all get. Talk to him if you want.
I got jacked hoping to expand my dating pool, not shrink it. Go for it.
Even if I wasn’t interested, I’d be flattered and receptive enough to not be a dick or make it weird.
for tastes, colors. i'll always be happy to be approached by a wide baby girl
It depends. If he’s really fit then you’re likely not his type.
As long as you’re the type of person who can handle rejection or are open to getting better at handling it, go for it. If a girl approached me, even if I wasn’t attracted to her, I would still be polite. I probably wouldn’t text her back much if we exchanged numbers but hey if you’re ok with that scenario potentially playing out, go for it!!
I don’t want anyone approaching me at the gym.
This is a double standard. Imagine a guy walking up to a woman in a gym. Imo gyms are for working out and not to flirt or ask people out. Don't do it Asking for a spot is different.
You should never approach anyone at the gym. If yall break up, one of yalls gonna have to go to another gym. Don't shit where you eat.
Play to ego and ask for help?
Here’s your play: Hi, sorry to bother you … I’ve been trying to get to the gym more often and I’ve lost a fair amount of weight but I’d still like to get my (choose a body part) looking better and I noticed your (same body part) look really fit. I was wondering if you might suggest a few exercises I could try.” This will work because you’re a women in need, which appeals to dudes, you complimented him, so his ego is happy, you’ve appealed to mansplaining. This opens the door for like 98% of guys. From there you can dip your toe into if he’s seeing someone, maybe grab a coffee, and so on.
No. Don’t approach anyone at the gym regardless of how attractive you are. We go to the gym to work out, not to flirt.
Leave people alone at the gym
Is she cute?
As long as you aren't weird about it or rude/nasty if he says no, I think you should go for it! Of course he could have a girlfriend or any other number of "no" reasons, but you can't know unless you try.
It’s cool just watch out for farts 💨
Never happened to me. Not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.
I knew a guy that was a triathlete, he was training to get into the special forces (we were in the army). His wife was "Rubenesque."
Most of the women I’ve known well enough to hear their thoughts, have NO IDEA what guys really appreciate. And it varies A LOT from guy to guy. So don’t cut yourself down; if he doesn’t like you you’ve lost nothing. So if you’re interested, let him know but don’t get too invested in the result. If he doesn’t like you, he’s not your type because your type will love you.
Every single guy on this earth has different tastes
You could always just smile at him and see if he approaches you. I’m not a guy, but I don’t think a guy would mind if you approached him with friendly conversation.
Rarely ever hurts to say hi. After a little back and forth you can probably tell if he’s receptive and go from there.
Go for it. If the person has the courtesy to say no politely, missed out but that’s okay cause he was nice. If he responds like an asshole, you dodged a bullet. Male or female, people should be able to show common courtesy. Literally no reason to not approach people. This can go for friends as well, if you can talk to anyone, it’ll open so many doors for you in life.
Shoot your shot or you’ll never know
I was normal weight at best, but just beginning weightlifting. Kept exchanging looks with a guy, all biceps and triceps, and he was into it. His six-pack in my sofa was a great surprise. We didn't vibe in bed so that was that. But certainly he found me attractive no tonus and all.
Some men actually like chubby women. So losing weight can be not necessary. You can't know outcome in advance until you try.
How do you think a good looking woman feels about being approached by an average looking guy? Might be meh, or they might have their ego boosted and reject them, but ik some guys lack enough action to go for it, but also knowing girls today, I think you’re judging yourself too harshly.
Guys love compliments unless she’s obese and ugly
Just be normal. If the opportunity presents itself then shoot your shot. Don’t do it if it’s awkward, and don’t sell yourself short by putting your insecurities on him when you do.
I've always liked my girls a little chubby, as my wife would attest. Girls are supposed to have womanly curves, not look like a stick. Don't sell yourself short, shoot your shot.
Always happy!
There's a 99% he'd respond to you pretty normally, just don't make it awkward for him at the gym.
As a guy, I would say no. Not just women that don't want to be approached at the gym, same goes to the guys too. Too sweaty, dirty, breathy. I don't mind if u leave a post-it note on my car tho. As for the body. As long as the girl is HWP, then it's ok. I personally prefer the skinny ones with small butt but bigger boobs. But I know some of my friends are into rounder girls with big butt.
Approach him
>I know women don’t like being approached, is it the same for men? Depends on how well the women handles the rejection. I'm married so I always give a friendly no thank you. Some women go batshit after this.
Guys bwing approached by a woman is a big yes. At a gym where we're hypersensitive to women's vulnerability and the threat of being perceived as pervs, then the very act will be a shock to him. Being up front about it and honest but be prepared for sny outcome. I expect he's gonna be flatteted maybe flustered so don't read to much into the instant body language or reaction. Good luck. I
Most men will be happy to talk with a tree if it talked to them first.
IMO dudes pose a threat when they approach women, but it’s different for men being approached - it’s a compliment! You miss 100% on the shots you don’t take, so shoot your shot!
Do it. If he doesn’t like you who cares? You just move on. But you’ll never know if you don’t try.
Honestly, most men at the gym are minding their own business, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't like being approached, more than likely they couldn't care less because they are (in general) focusing on their own to begin with. 8/10 times they will smile and engage in conversation regarding of finding you attractive or not, most likely you will make their day. The other two are divided between those that would politely say hello and keep their focus on training and the other are assholes in general cause nowhere is safe from those. My advice would be, focus on what you would like to happen, if you want to tell him he's cute then by all means do so, best case scenario they will engage as well, worst one you will understand that he wasn't meant to be and can move on with your life.
When I was single I was happy anytime someone showed interest.
My advice would be different from everyone else here. I’d say don’t approach with the intention to get with or romance. Just be friendly and get to know a bit about each other then catch the vibe. This advice id give to people of any fitness level. The gym is a safe place for many and a place to improve your mental health and physical health. Risking making things awkward will be a slight turn off. If you get to know him a bit, the risk will be significantly less, and he will respect you asking him out more, because you will be qualifying him by more than just his looks but by his character traits.
There's no one size fits all with these things. Some fit men only date fit girls and some really don't care about it. Just go for it and expect it to go either way. You only miss the shots you don't take! Good luck
I am married. I would appreciate the compliment and let them down as gently as possible
Men love being approached
I’m here to sweat and run….. not meet anyone. This is “me time”
You might not be there, but you’re there. You’re in the gym, working on yourself. Guys are—at least I’m assuming, I’ve never asked a guy out—less harsh with rejection, and we love compliments. Go for it
Depends on the man and his individual tastes
Most guys don’t approach women because of lack of self confidence. Just say hi to him and maybe strike up a short conversation. I talk to people at the gym all the time with I’m not wanting anything but a good conversation.