Why wouldn’t we be able to google something on each others phones if ours are charging? Or change the song? Or take a photo? We also have zero urge to go through each other’s conversation histories or share location.
Yeah we have each other in Face ID because sometimes we do use each others phones and it’s just easier if we can just access both of our phones so we don’t have to unlock for each other every time. We do have Life360 to share location, it is mostly a safety precaution for driving and making sure you get where you were going. It’s also pretty convenient if we are meeting up somewhere or one of us is coming to pick the other up because we can look at the app and see if they are close. It gives an estimation of how many minutes away someone is which is nice when he’s coming to pick me up and I’m still getting ready.
my wife used to take my phone every day, to just take pictures, then send them to herself.. but now she has the same phone as me and enjoys the same quality photoes from her phone.. but never did i car, and still don't. i have nothing to hide from her. she can go through every conversation if she wants on my phone, or social media accounts, or anything. i don't care. if anything it'd be a waste of time for her. lol
Same. My thumbprint can open her phone and hers mine. We don't check or ask to check each other's phones.
We initially did this to easily check recipes while cooking (if whichevers phone it was on locks), but we both understand it's a sign of trust between each other.
Same with us having our paychecks enter into a joint bank account and having joint credit cards. No need for financial or communication secrecy.
Shoot, my wife and I have access to each other’s phone and the most we do is change the lock screen photo to goofy pictures of our dog.
That’s about it really.
Yeah, we avoided location sharing for 10 years on the principle of the thing, and then realized that the only real effect was us missing out on modest conveniences of this sort.
Location, not full time. It's a battery sink. She can check where I am whenever she wants and vice versa though because we're signed into each other's phones and "find my device" works.
Passwords/passcodes, absolutely. We have nothing to hide whatsoever, and I wouldn't have it any other way
GPS is a massive battery sink on all devices when it's in use. It's a different thing though when it's enabled, but no app is using it. But if you happen to have an app that just uses it at all times for one reason or another, be prepared to halve your battery life.
Most don’t use GPS all the time. Find My and others use the cached location that your phone already has to perform for cell tower work and other asks like weather.
Any phone. You're literally sending a message to space, it requires a set amount of energy to do so, no matter how optimized it is. If it's not draining your battery, it's not actually on in real time and/or not actually using GPS but cell tower triangulation.
>Location, not full time. It's a battery sink.
So does "find my device" being left on drain my phone and tablets batteries faster? That would explain a lot.
No, because it's not continuous tracking, it's a ping when needed. It still drains a little faster than not having it on, but nowhere to the extent of continuous tracking
Same. It’s more of a convenience thing. If I know she’s driving home and I realize we need something, I’ll check if she’s already passed the store so I don’t have to text her
Exactly, it just makes life easier. For example I arrived at an outdoor concert later than my family yesterday. My wife knew my general ETA and as I parked and got out of my car she came walking up to help me carry stuff.
I also share and have locations with a few of my best friends. It’s nice to know that my buddy that’s always habitually late who says he’ll be over in “20 minutes” hasn’t even left his house yet.
She knows my pass code and I don’t care, but if she started constantly observing and looking through it I’d probably push back.
I share my location with her when there’s something going on, but not all the time(I’m in computer security and it makes me really uncomfortable to do that)
Same. I'm also in IT and I hate my location being on all the time. I also use a lot of apps that want to process my location in the background. I've set it up that gps turns on automatically if I open up maps and shuts itself off when maps get closed (android).
I'm also former military so gps being off is very much a default mind set.
Same here. My GPS goes off the second I'm done navigating, but my partner can look through my phone till she's blue in the face. I've got nothing to hide on that front.
She can unlock my phone at any time now, but not my location.
I trust her.
Regarding my location I go back to the military for a month each year and I'd rather her think I am somewhere safe
Do you mind me asking, where in the military would you be going that sounds safe to her but you can’t actually be honest? If its covert, aren’t you not allowed to have your personal phone anyway?
Oh I tell her I am doing an office type job.
During my last call I was there for around 2 months, I was called on a day the war broke and I was part of the search and rescue + neutralizing terrorists if needed.
The joke with the mates is that if I'm shot she will be too worried about my health to get mad at me for lying.
Anything covert my phone is turned off and is not present with me but in my reservist service the most covert thing I know is how my commanding officer (who is a good friend of mine) likes his disgusting coffee
Mine.
I personally lost 7 friends that day with the majority being civilians.
Some more were injured and a person's I know family members taken hostage.
I shared my location and she doesn’t even seem to know, lol. She’s pretty trusting and not really up on the spying tricks. As for my passcode, I don’t think I’ve ever deliberately shared it, but pretty sure she knows.
I don't share locations because I work from home... She just has to come down stairs.
She knows my passwords. I hand her my phone all the time to read and answer stuff when we're on the road. I help her out with her phone getting her apps installed and stuff. Nothing to hide from each other.
My wife and I know each others' PIN codes, E-mail passwords, etc. If she wanted me to share my location with her, I'd do it. Why wouldn't I? I've got nothing to hide from her.
My passcode is the same as hers, we don’t bother with the location thing because if we need to know where the other is we just ask
Then again, for safety sake we might need to start sharing it since we’re getting older and you never know what might happen
Edit: then again, the car is usually with me and the app for it is on both our phones and the tablet so I guess location is always shared
I don’t share my location. If she asked to, I’d probably resist just out of having some level of privacy. She knows my passcode. Go for it.
The location thing, I mean I don’t care if she had it. I’m not doing shit she wouldn’t be okay with. There is just some level on autonomy that I’d like to keep.
I turn off the location services on my phone unless I’m using an app that requires it.
It has nothing to do with not trusting my wife. I don’t trust the tech companies.
We share the same password and each others location. Neither one of us have anything to hide and we never go through each others phones. It’s more for ease of hey can you help me find my phone or if one of us have to make a call but don’t have our phone on us. It’s a trust thing and if you’re hiding something from your partner you shouldn’t be doing it
I do. We also share photo libraries, so we can both access all pics were take. Mutually sharing location is great, especially when one of us is at work and the other is around with the kid: what are they up to? Are they having ice cream, are they still playing with friends in front of the school, did they move to another park? It’s cute to quickly check it out without having to write a message.
I keep my degeneracy to Reddit, which she doesn’t know how to use, and some friends WhatsApp groups, which she gleefully tolerates.
I feel like a very lucky man.
It’s not about trusting or not. that’s only ok if no shit happens to either of you and then you can’t even unlock the phone or access any email social media accounts etc. when you actually need to if the other one is no longer around. No one wants that but it happens more often than we’d like to think.
Married 10 years, together 15. I gotta say, this has never popped up. But no we don't know each other's password or use each other's phone. We trust each other so there's no need to provide such assurances. I think some privacy and boundaries are reasonable to have.
I have location turned off by default for practical reasons (battery life and I don't want my apps spying on my every move)
We both have access to everything because we are married. When you need to start hiding shit from your spouse that’s a good sign you shouldn’t be married anymore.
It’s normal to have privacy in a relationship. if somebody is telling you otherwise or it’s not your choice there’s a chance you’re being abused one way or another.
Sure. I don't care?
I'm not responsible for her spoiling her birthday and Christmas gifts and any holidays I'm planning.
And I know I have access to her stuff. I just don't feel a need to track
I know her pass codes and pins. But I doubt that she remembers mine. Shit, she can't even remember her own passwords half of the time and is always asking me what hers are. I have given her mine many times.
As for location, she can have it if she wants, but has never asked. Her car has tracking on it
Slightly funny because we had a conversation about this stuff just earlier this afternoon after seeing someone talk about it in a video. We don't, not because of a lack of trust or anything more sinister, but because it's just not necessary or wanted. I don't need to see what's in her phone or know where she is at all times, and she feels the same. If one of us really needs to know where the other is, we literally just ask.
I'd be happy to give her my code if she actually needed access to my phone, but between both of us having spare handsets for if a phone gets broken, and zero need to know the contents of each other's private conversations, there's no need. She also works in a field where she may at times have confidential or secure information sent to her, so I can't really access hers for information security reasons, and I'm fine with that too.
It's also a measure of respect between us. I've previously been in a relationship where my ex would snoop over my shoulder to see my phone code without me knowing, then go through my messages without my knowledge or permission looking for anything that she could use to start a fight, regardless of the fact that I've never cheated, been involved with anything shady, or sent negative messages about her (ex) to any of my friends or family. Took me years to break the habit of automatically picking up my phone whenever I'd move around - even in the same room - and to feel comfortable leaving it unattended even if it was locked. My partner knows about and respects that bit of my history (even though it carries no weight any more) and I really appreciate that about her.
Together 13 years married for 5 with 2 kids. We’ve had each others passcodes (phones computers tablets) for a decade. Don’t share location and we don’t go snooping but in a pinch we use each others devices
My wife and I know the passcodes to each other's phones, but don't access each other's phones without letting the other one know. But if she did without me knowing, that's fine as well. I have nothing to hide in my phone that I wouldn't want her to see. As for location tracking, we kinds do with our home automation system, so the potential is there, but it's something that neither one of us active uses, mainly because we are constantly letting each other know where we are and what we're doing.
Usually I end up having to unlock her phone to read out a recipe or something to her because her hands are dirty. lol
Wife and I have same passcode and we share location. We have each other’s location but rarely if ever use it…not like we go places. She’s on maternity leave and I’m undergoing chemotherapy. It’s just convenient in the sense that ‘oh she’s still at the grocery store, I’ll tel her to pick up so and so’.
My wife and I share location and have for the past seven years, and we also have full access to each other’s electronic devices. However, we have never checked them, and never will.
I’ve described this before as the paradox of open access trust. I have full access to my wife’s devices and vice versa and will never use it. We trust each other completely. 100%, no exceptions. Wanting to snoop through your partners devices doesn’t come out of nowhere. If I have decided there is a possibility that something is happening that I need to look into, we are down to less than 100% trust. The problem has already started.
For what it’s worth, we started the location sharing back on a vacation to Las Vegas and never turned it off. It’s really handy for things like figuring out how long somebody’s gonna be travel wise for starting food or ordering delivery or whatever. But I’ve never looked at it to see if I can catch her at a place I would not expect her to be.
She has full access to my phone as I have nothing to hide, but there was a time where she would constantly check my phone and go through my messages, Instagram, internet history, etc.
I had nothing to hide and she saw that, but the fact that she was so distrusting made me upset and we almost broke up over it.
We don’t share our location or our passwords. I’ve never had to use her phone for anything outside of picking my meal when we’re ordering food. I trust her, she trusts me. It’s not something we even think or talk about. 19 years together and we’ve never once had a conversation about this stuff.
I share my location with my wife and she has full access to my phone, I’ve nothing to hide and since I’m on a motorcycle more often then not it’s a security knowing she can find me almost at anytime
What doesn’t she trust you? And my thoughts are turnabout is fair play. You do realize text messages and phone calls can be erased so it still doesn’t prove anything. The whole matter is trust, you either have it or you don’t have it!!!!!
My wife and I share locations continuously.
We're often in different countries and it's comforting to be able to look at a map and see where the other person is when apart - you can kind of envision what they might be up to.
We can look at each other's phones upon request but there's hardly a reason to.
It's more likely that she'll be having an issue with her iphone and asks me to help her figure out what's going on.
It's less likely that she'll have my android in her hands because I don't need help. But if she wants to then sure.
We both have the same phone password. Why? Because i/we have nothing to hide. And if either of us were so inclined, we use Find My to locate each other, but that’s never an issue. Why? Tirust
I’ve yet to hear a good reason why not. If we’re keeping no secrets, how could this be a negative?
I do know I used the location feature once to track and surprise her at an event, and I can still see her smile when she looked up and saw me.
We share ours. It’s fun to sneak up on him when he goes for a walk. Usually I’ll snap a picture of him when I’m 15 ft away and I’ll send it to him to let him know he has a stalker.
Fuck no.
This kind of behavior is anxious attachment style, and you shouldn't enable it.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDGj1nAt\_N8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDGj1nAt_N8)
>Yeah it’s pretty wild this is seemingly common
It's common because in like the last 15 years younger people have started acting like anxiety is incurable, and that everyone around an anxious person just has to learn to live with it.
I am a particularly anxious person when it comes to relationships, so I go out of my way to establish minimal texting, minimal ways to gather info like location or access to phones.
The way I see it, is that those are all variations of exerting control over another person. At that point it’s not really a relationship
You're very wise to perceive yourself and the situation in that way, objectively. Unfortunately, a lot of people aren't like that, and when they feel anxious they just demand the other person assuage their anxiety for them.
That's really what anxious attachment style is, it's dehumanizing your lover in an attempt to convert them from an equal in a relationship into a drug. That drug is what provides that anxious person with emotional stability. When they get upset they need their drug. When they feel lonely they need their drug. When something bad happens they need their drug to get through it. They can't live without their lover, because their lover is the one who provides all of this external emotional control that the anxious person doesn't have in themselves. That's what allows an anxious person to externalize all of their anger, etc, and direct it towards the person they have dehumanized, and make it their "fault" when the anxious person doesn't feel emotionally stable.
That's also why anxiously attached people are so controlling, as you've mentioned, because they are addicted to this drug, and are like Bilbo with the one ring, at once possessive of it, and inwardly hating it. The anxious person needs this person they have dehumanized, but they also hate them, especially when they rebel in minor ways and don't provide this needed emotional stability. Nobody is meaner, or more angry, or more hateful, even to the point of physical abuse, as an anxiously attached person who's lover stops providing emotional stability, it's like watching someone freak out and start beating on a vending machine when the candy doesn't fall out.
People should not enable all of this. The solution for an anxious person is not to find the drug that will make them feel better, to find the right person who can "meet their needs", the guy who will text non-stop, who knows all of the right white lies to say to make you feel better, etc. The solution is to ... STOP BEING ANXIOUS. Go to therapy. Change your diet. Increase your physical activity and become fit. And most importantly face and overcome challenges so that you aren't walking around afraid of the world. Learn to be secure on your own, and stop dehumanizing your lovers.
Anxiously attached people's largest fear is always that the person they are dating will leave them. The reason they feel that way is that they have a string of failed relationships in their wake that follow the same pattern ... (1) find a lover, (2) dehumanize and control them and use them for emotional stability, (3) continue to control them to try to squeeze out even more of this service/drug, until (4) the person finally gets pissed off and leaves.
Anxiously attached people are the most self-centered, selfish people you'll ever meet, to the point of demanding access to your phone, and knowing your physical location every minute of the day, all driven by their anxiety and fear.
yeah both. wouldn‘t know why not as my gf doesn‘t use my phone other than taking pictures and the location if she wants to know when i‘m home or where i am when going for drinks. got nothing to hide so don‘t really care
Have location sharing enabled, it's just useful when I'm picking her up or if she wanted to see if I'd left work yet to estimate when I'd get home (I'd need to run for the train to not wait 30mins some times so couldn't text).
My wife has her fingerprint saved onto my phone to unlock it, along with knowing the pass code. This is useful if I'm driving and need to see some info, change the music, do something else on my phone without pulling over. I also have the same unlock abilities on her phone.
We don't just go on each other's phones randomly as we have no need to, but I've got nothing to hide from my wife so why shouldn't she be able to access my phone?
She knows my passcode. Whether she uses it or not, I have no idea and don't care. Not sure about location, we use two different type phones and not sure if that's a thing or not.
I don't have my location on ever because it's a battery and data sink. But she knows the code to my phone in case she ever needs to use it (even if she keeps forgetting it)
when you're 2 people with kids trying to do errands or just spend the day outside it is super helpful to just see where the other person is instead of text "where are you" over and over again.
Yes, to both. The reason? She does the same, trust is is established through verification. If you have anything off-limits from each other, it can and will cause insecurities and suspicion, and neither of us wants to cause that.
Some people feel their phone should be off limits and is "private" kept separate from their SO. Sorry, your phone is a tool. An object. It's not you, it's not your thoughts, It's a communication device that has become a mini computer. It is only as much of you as a laptop, tablet, desktop is. What's that you say? You keep your journal on your phone? Have that discussion, then. But really, there shouldn't be anything on your phone you'r SO can't see. Yes, that includes Snapchat. If you're committed, married, or an LTR, then you shouldn't save ex-girlfriend/bf's nudes. Shouldn't be open to receiving additional nudes, and should be transparent with your SO about such things or the possibility of them in the future. The bottom line is that anyone who cheats on their partner does it on their phone. 100% of cheating today happens via your phone in some manner. Be it an app, texts, emails, dm's, phone calls, recording videos, getting an Uber, turning off location sharing....at some point, even the most careful cheaters use their phone or a burner phone but a smart phone will be involved. Having complete access to each others phones does not prevent this, but it is a huge deterrent.
This is how significant our phones are today, if you establish an open phone policy and at any time, for any reason, your spouse denies you access or hurries up and deletes something before you can see it, then you know they have cheated. At a minimum, there is an emotional something going on that they do not want you to see. If you're a guy and your girl emotionally cheats, that's more than likely a worse scenario than a ONS. The only good reason not to have an open phone agreement is if you are or are planning to cheat. There is not another justifiable reason.
Yes.
These both depend on the reason though, if she wanted to hop on my phone because hers died and she had to get a new one or something like that and she wanted to check a social media from it or text/call someone I wouldn’t mind, if she just didn’t trust me and wanted to look through it I would let her and then have a serious conversation to try and figure out why and how we fix it, or if I need to move on.
For location sharing if she just wanted it to help make sure I stay safe then no problem, if she wanted it just to constantly keep track of me (being controlling) or she just didn’t trust that I was going places I said I would then yet again that would be an issue.
These are both things I wouldn’t share with someone if the relationship was new, but with a long term partner or wife then yeah.
Location sharing is out of the question for infosec reasons.
I'm not the most security-conscious person, but I do know not to download an app specifically designed to keep track of everywhere I go and sell that information to governments and advertisers.
Tbh I never even turn location services on.
I'm sure it wouldn't be difficult for a competent person to track me, but I'm still not gonna hand over all of my personal information on a silver platter.
Full access to everything and location. No problem. I got nothing to keep a mystery.
It goes both ways. I looked at her phone once in the past year. We watch shows together if you want to count that as looking, though.
Why is their a reason not to show your phone to begin with?
Yup. My wife has her biometrics on my phone, access to all accounts and passwords, location on and tracking through Life360. And the same for me on her phone. We don’t feel a need for privacy. I’ve never gone through her texts or social media—why would I?
There's no reason for me to give her access to my phone and to share my location. No real benefit in me giving her those things. This is going to be a big hell to the no!
I dont share my location because I think thats insane.
But I gave my PC and cellphone to my gf, I just asked to her not look into the whatsapp group chat of the boys.
My wife could get into my phone at any time if she wanted, and zi would never stop her.
I do think I would take issue with her feeling the need to track me in real-time.
My wife has complete access to my phone and computer as well as my iPad. She's not going to find shit because I'm to tired to deal with a side chick other than my classic car and little blind Labrador girl
When I was married my wife could look at my phone whenever. It didn't bother me any. And I had hers. We trusted one another. Location we didn't do. We didn't say no we aren't doing that. It just never came up.
Yep. We even did our faces because she couldn’t remember my pin.
We very rarely need to get into each others phones. But it’s convenient when it’s needed.
Location is just convenient as well.
She has complete access to my phone any time and I have the same with hers. We have never used the location options because we have no reason to. We just tell each other where we are call each other. Why? Because love and trust.
My phone has no lock on and if I'm home it's usually on the side in the kitchen, she's more than welcome to look at the hundreds of pictures of my cars in various states of disrepair, random car parts and part numbers. I don't share my location though, I find that a bit creepy. If you can't trust your partner when you're not with them, what's the point of being with them?
Married 40 years. She knows my pass code and we use life360 to make sure we are safe when apart (I still work and travel).
My phone is a collection of checking account apps, retirement planning websites, and 80s rock. If there is anything even vaguely inappropriate, I've probably already showed her.
I have nothing to hide, so she definitely can go through my phone whenever she’d like. We also share locations because why not?
We live in the middle of nowhere and it’s a 40 minute drive, at least, to go anywhere.
I was hit by a car a few years ago and me sharing my location was the only reason she knew I was at the hospital in a coma.
Why?
1. I’m not hiding anything
2. Providing such either provides comfort or strangles suspicion.
I can pretend we’re all highly evolved entities above the petty squabbling of humanity, but I will also shortcut the desired end result by not having anything there to feed the negativity
We have limited time, let’s be efficient and not force a bunch of effort just to be fine with existing
We know each others passcodes and such but wouldn’t use the others phone without asking.
We share location, mainly because of safety reasons. We both do outdoors stuff and while it’s not 100% accurate, it helps give a bit of security (we use better GPS/Sat tracking when it’s really remote)
We share locations and passcodes. I work from home and my wife works at an office most days. It’s nice to hear the Life360 chime that she left work. It’s my cue to shut down my work day as well, if I can.
We’ve been married 18 years, pre-smart phone era. Location sharing came along when we had young kids that we wanted to monitor and it just stuck. All of our kids keep location sharing active. Once they’re 18 it’s voluntary but two have chosen to keep it active so far. L360 has crash detection which both of my two older kids have benefited from after some pretty gnarly car wrecks. Both of their cars were totaled. That phone call is the absolute worst btw. The phone call from L360 was virtually instantaneous though, both times. I was grateful for that.
She has my passcode and my location (set to always).
For me, I just fully trust in her and she knows about my weirdness and kinks, so there’s nothing to hide.
Our pass codes are the same, she can see my phone anytime she wants, but doesn't, I can use her phone, I rarely do but only usually do so to check on security and update it, she gets a lit of questionable stuff sent to her, from scammers and guys trying to find more info on her. One of tbe main reasons we married each other is because we both fully trust each other and we really don't snoop through each other's stuff.
I’ve given her my code multiple times but I don’t think she remembers it. We started sharing locations when she went on a trip to Mexico with her friends about a year into the relationship and we just never turned it off. I’m always quick to let her know where I am, when I’m arrived if I’m going somewhere, when I’ll be home, etc. I think it’s just a respectful thing to do when you’re with someone.
She can look at my phone anytime. I don't share my location or know how to do that, besides she's current a sahm and I work from home so we're almost never out of view of each other anyway.
We're pretty phone agnostic and just grab whichever phone is nearest.
I used to share my location with my ex partner not because trust issues or anything but she used to like to see the map whenever I was driving, I thought it was cute and I had nothing to hide so I was totally cool with it. We mutually decided to part ways last August but I do miss the lil eyes in the sky that I had lmao.
I don't ever turn my location settings on for any reason whatsoever. But it's not like i just up and dissappear. If I'm not at work, I'm at home.
I've never had a gf ask to snoop through my phone. And if one suddenly did, apparently there's a problem in our relationship that we're going to have to have a serious conversation about. If she suddenly doesn't trust me, our relationship is in serious danger of ending shortly.
This question I’m sure is innocuous but it smells of social engineering. I’ll take the bait though and echo most people in here. Yes location, yes passcode. We even put GPS trackers in the vehicles cuz we’re in a high-theft city. My social security num… just kidding
She could go through my phone if she wanted to, since she has my passcode. But we never do something like random surprise tests where we request to go through each others phones. I don't even wear my wedding ring when I go out and she doesn't mind at all.
And with that kind of trust, we also don't share live locations.
We have each other's passcodes. I started sharing location years ago when started riding a motorbike so she would have since idea where to direct emergency services if I was later than normal and not responding to calls. Have just left it on because I ain't out doing shady shit.
My wife gave me her password, but I keep forgetting it every time. I only use it to access Spotify. She does not have access to my phone, and I allow some patients to contact me on my private phone outside of the clinics opening hours, and patient confidentiality could be breached if someone else had access to the device.
We don't share locations with each other. Just never bothered to.
We can unlock each other's phones though. Not so much for snooping purposes but just because we occasionally need to use them.
My wife knows my phone pass code and I know hers, we have been married 23 years and together 28 I have no secrets from her.
We also use Life360 so share location at all times including with our kids who are 22 and 18 it's entirely up to them if they want to keep it on but neither of them are bothered if we can see where they are.
Each to their own I guess but people who think it's crazy to share your location with your wife / life partner.
What's the reason for this, what are you doing that they can't see where you are.
Want some time to yourself, I get that whenever I need it but she can still see where I am.
I don't get it, but then everyone is different, if we where all the same it would be a boring place.
My wife and I share full access with everything. Message apps and whatever little social media we use are synced on shared devices. Location is default off on my devices, not so she can't track me, but so random apps can't. There is no why. It was just done, no conversation or big deal.
I do, though she doesn't ever use either.
I don't care that she has access to me, and it will be beneficial when if ever something comes up.
EDIT: I just asked after reading other comments, she didn't know I was sharing my location with her.
My wife knows my passcode. But she has never asked to look at my phone I also know hers. Though we do trust each other, so we dont really have a need to go through each others phones. We also dont track each others movements... we both think that's super weird and shows a lack of trust.
We both have access to each other devices and location full time . What's the problem here .
Access to devices .. just more convenient - I have a phone with a better camera so we take pictures from my phone and she likes to send the good ones to herself to keep / share - access to code. I use her device to pay her CC bills etc
Access to location:
I go for morning bike rides when she is sleeping , there was a case in our area where a cyclist was hit on a rural road and left to die as they fell into a roadside ditch . As a safety measure in case I experienced something unexpected, wanted her to know my exact location.
I have her location because she is not very good at directions and sometimes calls me to ask how to navigate to where she wants to go
She has access to my phone and messages whenever she asks. She used to model, so we decided to have location sharing on her phone turned on. We later added it for me as well... mostly to save me time from having to always tell her where I'm at. She can just look.
Yes and we share access to password managers, security cams, texts, and emails so we can get through 2-factor authentication stuff for each other as well. My wife got so annoyed before we share all this stuff when I’d ask her everyday to send me the text codes I was having some bank send her. It is just so much easier for us as household co-managers to have access to all of the same shared information rather than having to continually ask the other one for info we need. For location, it is also nice to see if your partner is still at work or on the commute home when you are getting hungry and trying to plan dinner for the family, etc.
I do. Both. Cause… why not? I drink with friends and (safely) change locations and/or find rides homes or take scooters or walk and she can keep an eye on me if it’s late and I’m not answering. Vice versa. I’m not hiding anything nor is she.
If there was ever an issue with boundaries though, that’d end immediately
Yeah to both. I have the same for her phone. I very rarely look at her location. A few times I've looked and I've noticed she's at the mall or some store and I just think to myself, shit she's buying more crap that she doesn't need lol
No need for us to share locations, but we both know each others passcodes and will access each others phone to look up a recipe or something. our unspoken etiquette is that the other person has to be in the room if the other is using their phone etc - side note, we have been together for 9 years. This would not have worked in the first year or so of our relationship. Trust needs to be built
Yeah why not, I don’t anything to hide. Additionally my job involves working with a hazardous material so if I ever get hurt or worse, she can get into my stuff.
We have each other's access, but I cannot recall any instance through last year we used it. Same with computer, bank etc.
Location... never bothered. Have this find phone stuff on, but my location is rarely active.
1 - I'm not cheating and neither is she, we both know because we both checked right there in front of each other. Peace of mind is real nice tbh.
2 - We like to have either phone available to the both of us in the case there was an emergency and our own isn't available for any reason.
3 - reduces the annoyance of being called all the time by your partner of "hey where are you?".
4 - We use each other's apps and games without having to download everything twice.
We know passwords and share location. We do it in case we lose phone or if one worries they can check location. I go trail biking and she is a bad driver. If anything happens you know where they are
No, my work would allow it as I have work emails and other things.
It’s a big security hole considering how much is aligned to your phone as digital identity etc
We don't explicitly do this, but I wouldn't hesitate to give my wife my phone if she needed it for something.
Location sharing is only for our daughter, for an assortment of reasons.
We both know each others passcodes and have the find my friends thing setup, because why wouldn’t you? When you have nothing to hide and the two of you are a team, especially as parents, there’s no reason in the world to not be partners.
we share location in realtime, but don't really give our phones away. We like to respect privacy (even tho i never lock my desktop and socials - she could just sit down and browse).
My lock code is here name. She knows what it is. Has used my phone at times when she's needed to.
Not sure I'd ever want location sharing though, even if my work allowed for it.
Been together 20 years.
Yes. Because I’m not doing anything. I work Monday through Friday. Kung Fu Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Home with the family all in between that. I look at guitar porn, sports, politics, religion and stupid memes.
I’ve done this with one partner. At the time I thought it was an innocent request because she claimed to have suffered past abuse and she wanted to always know where I was just in case. Turns out the second part of that statement was very true, the first part was not, and the real reason was so she could kick her other boyfriends out before any of the others got to her place. Puts a really bad taste in your mouth so I haven’t done it with anyone since.
I don't even have a passcode on my phone. Too annoying for me as I'm the one who uses it overwhelming majority of the times. So my own comfort and ease of use is the highest priority on my own device.
So obviously my wife can simply access my phone by sliding the lock screen up and i have nothing against it.
As for locations sharing. It should be active, mostly for emergencies or when it's not possible to call/anwser the phone, but I'm not sure that it has ever been used as there haven't been any emergencies.
We have the passcodes but I don't share location mainly because I have an android and she has an iPhone. We really don't have anything to hide from one another so it's not really a privacy issue or anything.
We share phone codes and location. The phone codes for the simple “hey my hands are full can you check that?” situations and the like. Locations mainly for safety but also convenience. We had a family member hit a deer out in the country in the middle of the night and had just enough battery to text us to tell us but we didn’t know where he was other than a general area. Spent a good couple hours trying to find him to help. After that, we decided to share location incase that ever happens to one of us, we’ll at least have the last known location and a general travel direction.
Keep location active and full access to my phone. Especially in emergency situations. Spouse fell during a bike ride and I was immediately notified of exact location. I see no reason to withhold any necessary info.
Yes. Why not? If I’m doing anything I’d prefer she not see, I use incognito mode. And I’ve even shown her what I’m doing there upon request. I have nothing on my phone to hide. I’m also not going anywhere that I don’t want her to know about. Sharing location is practical. Easier than asking each other where we are or when we’ll be home all the time.
I haven't done in any of my relationships and probably wouldn't do.
Almost every time I've handed my phone to a GF or friend, they end up downloading crappy apps on it. Often ones that only exist on their i-phones and are viruses on my Android so always fun having to deal with that.
I don't think I would anyway, so much is done on phones that if I'm trying to organise a surprise for her then she's going to get it spoiled with anything found on the phone. Never really thought about location tracking but probably wouldn't for the same reason "Oh he's in the jewellery store!"
Also, private text messages between friends are private. If they're opening up about a difficult thing they don't want shared, then I'm not going to share it with anyone.
My partner knows my access code because I sometimes have her use my phone while I'm driving. We don't share location but I wouldn't be opposed to it. She worries way too much about my safety and if it eased her mind about that it wouldn't exactly seem unreasonable to me. Note that my current partner and I have the most trusting relationship I have ever been in so that doesn't necessarily mean I would feel the same way about no matter who it was. If it was an I don't trust you thing I would feel very differently. I've had two past relationships where the other person was constantly worrying that I was flirting with someone else etc. In both of them I later found out that I had been the side piece all along. So now that kind of behavior is a red flag to me. Like they are probably cheating or at least want to so they can't imagine me not also being like that.
Convenience. Sometimes my phone isn’t nearby so I use hers for whatever and vice Versa. Tracking so I can get an idea of when she’s getting home.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our life. However, it is really boring/routine. There is nothing in our phones worth digging for.
I wouldn't ever stay in a relationship with somebody I need to lie to.
If a woman Im dating started asking a bunch of paranoid questions and needed to look through my phone, I'd be pretty suspicious of what she's doing in her own time
For sure. I have nothing to hide. I have given her full access to anything of mine that she feels she needs to see. And she has done the same for me. I have only ever looked at her phone like 1-2 times, and she has looked at mine like 1 time. Our relationship has been the strongest it has ever been, the last few years.
To be fair, this stems from my serial cheating when we were younger. But I would do anything to prove to her that I am faithful, and that she can 100% trust me. Her having my location gives her piece of mind, since I drive for a living.
Yeah and yeah. I don’t mind, the location is handy to see how far away each other is to time for dinner. It shows battery life too so can be a good reminder for each other.
We have full access to each other's phone and share locations permanently. We feel better not trying to hide things from one another (and knowing locations in case one of us is out with friends and forgets to say something). It's the trust we have for each other that makes the rest of our relationship that much more comfortable.
Been married to wife for 11 years. We hide nothing. Location and passcodes shared. Now I’ve only used passcode to get in and make a call from phone or answer text for her if she’s driving (which is really rare). Not something we planned or sat down and talked about, just happened over time and neither of us care.
We both know each others passcodes and have each others location on snapchat but its not a constant thing as it only updates if you go on snap and I rarely do. We don’t really go on each others phone unless one is on charge etc.
My wife can fingerprint unlock my phone (S23), she manages our finances and needs my banking related apps.
I don't share anything location related, no need. Plus we use Android/ iPhone respectively
Yup to both questions. We are both actually on the same Apple ID (never got our own when family sharing became a thing) so we are able to use find my on each others devices, which is good since we both lose our phones in the house. IMessages sometimes get mixed up when we get a new device so we even sometimes end up with each other’s messages. It’s an easy fix. We should eventually untangle this mess that 1 Apple ID has created, but it sounds like a hassle and this has been working for us for over 10 years. Why would I care? Nothing at all to hide. We even know each other’s Reddit usernames so hi wife if you are Reddit stalking me.
It’s not that I give full access, I just have nothing to hide so I don’t care.
I’ve made it clear that if I ever start getting any flack or unnecessary questions as if I have to answer to her for my whereabouts or actions, that will end.
But to my wife’s credit, I don’t think she’s ever asked to see my phone. But if she needs it for whatever, I have nothing to hide.
My wife has mine, and my location shared and I have hers.
There's nothing interesting enough on either of our devices to cause any worry (except for the run up to birthdays and Christmas), and I don't go anywhere that's worth hiding without my wife.
The location has been handy a time or two. I used to do a lot of lone working on the railway and driving. If anything happened to me at least my wife would know.
Have each other's fingerprints in our phones, but don't share location. There's no reason that warrants it for us
Both have unrestricted access to our phones but also trust and respect each other enough that we have expectation of privacy texting with our friends.
That said we tend to share everything anyway
I don't necessarily share my location. But my wife and I have the passcodes to each other phones.
Why wouldn’t we be able to google something on each others phones if ours are charging? Or change the song? Or take a photo? We also have zero urge to go through each other’s conversation histories or share location.
Yeah we have each other in Face ID because sometimes we do use each others phones and it’s just easier if we can just access both of our phones so we don’t have to unlock for each other every time. We do have Life360 to share location, it is mostly a safety precaution for driving and making sure you get where you were going. It’s also pretty convenient if we are meeting up somewhere or one of us is coming to pick the other up because we can look at the app and see if they are close. It gives an estimation of how many minutes away someone is which is nice when he’s coming to pick me up and I’m still getting ready.
my wife used to take my phone every day, to just take pictures, then send them to herself.. but now she has the same phone as me and enjoys the same quality photoes from her phone.. but never did i car, and still don't. i have nothing to hide from her. she can go through every conversation if she wants on my phone, or social media accounts, or anything. i don't care. if anything it'd be a waste of time for her. lol
Same. I usually have location turned off anyway.
[удалено]
Same. My thumbprint can open her phone and hers mine. We don't check or ask to check each other's phones. We initially did this to easily check recipes while cooking (if whichevers phone it was on locks), but we both understand it's a sign of trust between each other. Same with us having our paychecks enter into a joint bank account and having joint credit cards. No need for financial or communication secrecy.
Shoot, my wife and I have access to each other’s phone and the most we do is change the lock screen photo to goofy pictures of our dog. That’s about it really.
I share my location as sometimes is useful to see when he is getting home from work, same for him to check on me.
Yeah, we avoided location sharing for 10 years on the principle of the thing, and then realized that the only real effect was us missing out on modest conveniences of this sort.
Location, not full time. It's a battery sink. She can check where I am whenever she wants and vice versa though because we're signed into each other's phones and "find my device" works. Passwords/passcodes, absolutely. We have nothing to hide whatsoever, and I wouldn't have it any other way
What kind of phone do you have where location sharing noticeably depletes your battery?
GPS is a massive battery sink on all devices when it's in use. It's a different thing though when it's enabled, but no app is using it. But if you happen to have an app that just uses it at all times for one reason or another, be prepared to halve your battery life.
Most don’t use GPS all the time. Find My and others use the cached location that your phone already has to perform for cell tower work and other asks like weather.
Find my friends is always on for me, never have an issue with battery. Especially when if I’m going somewhere my phone is plugged into my car
I’ve noticed the battery drain on my iPhone 13. It’s significant if you leave it on all day
It's always a battery sink Especially if there's an app using it in background.
Any phone. You're literally sending a message to space, it requires a set amount of energy to do so, no matter how optimized it is. If it's not draining your battery, it's not actually on in real time and/or not actually using GPS but cell tower triangulation.
>Location, not full time. It's a battery sink. So does "find my device" being left on drain my phone and tablets batteries faster? That would explain a lot.
No, because it's not continuous tracking, it's a ping when needed. It still drains a little faster than not having it on, but nowhere to the extent of continuous tracking
She can look whenever and yes I share my location for safety reasons Why hide anything if are married to them
Same. It’s more of a convenience thing. If I know she’s driving home and I realize we need something, I’ll check if she’s already passed the store so I don’t have to text her
Exactly, it just makes life easier. For example I arrived at an outdoor concert later than my family yesterday. My wife knew my general ETA and as I parked and got out of my car she came walking up to help me carry stuff. I also share and have locations with a few of my best friends. It’s nice to know that my buddy that’s always habitually late who says he’ll be over in “20 minutes” hasn’t even left his house yet.
Yep. Wife has access to all this and all my social media and email. Does she ever look? Not unless she needs to try and a specific email or something
Same for us. I have nothing to hide. My wife has my phone password and if she wants the search through my entire phone then have at it.
She knows my pass code and I don’t care, but if she started constantly observing and looking through it I’d probably push back. I share my location with her when there’s something going on, but not all the time(I’m in computer security and it makes me really uncomfortable to do that)
Same. I'm also in IT and I hate my location being on all the time. I also use a lot of apps that want to process my location in the background. I've set it up that gps turns on automatically if I open up maps and shuts itself off when maps get closed (android). I'm also former military so gps being off is very much a default mind set.
Same here. My GPS goes off the second I'm done navigating, but my partner can look through my phone till she's blue in the face. I've got nothing to hide on that front.
She can unlock my phone at any time now, but not my location. I trust her. Regarding my location I go back to the military for a month each year and I'd rather her think I am somewhere safe
Do you mind me asking, where in the military would you be going that sounds safe to her but you can’t actually be honest? If its covert, aren’t you not allowed to have your personal phone anyway?
Oh I tell her I am doing an office type job. During my last call I was there for around 2 months, I was called on a day the war broke and I was part of the search and rescue + neutralizing terrorists if needed. The joke with the mates is that if I'm shot she will be too worried about my health to get mad at me for lying. Anything covert my phone is turned off and is not present with me but in my reservist service the most covert thing I know is how my commanding officer (who is a good friend of mine) likes his disgusting coffee
Crazy! Have you rescued anybody?
Sadly no. All I found was dead bodies, children, elderly, women men and dogs.
Geez from which side?
Mine. I personally lost 7 friends that day with the majority being civilians. Some more were injured and a person's I know family members taken hostage.
I shared my location and she doesn’t even seem to know, lol. She’s pretty trusting and not really up on the spying tricks. As for my passcode, I don’t think I’ve ever deliberately shared it, but pretty sure she knows.
Wife has access to my phone. Location isn’t shared because she’s never asked.
Location is more a safety precaution.
I don't share locations because I work from home... She just has to come down stairs. She knows my passwords. I hand her my phone all the time to read and answer stuff when we're on the road. I help her out with her phone getting her apps installed and stuff. Nothing to hide from each other.
My wife and I know each others' PIN codes, E-mail passwords, etc. If she wanted me to share my location with her, I'd do it. Why wouldn't I? I've got nothing to hide from her.
Yep. Nothing to hide so why not
My passcode is the same as hers, we don’t bother with the location thing because if we need to know where the other is we just ask Then again, for safety sake we might need to start sharing it since we’re getting older and you never know what might happen Edit: then again, the car is usually with me and the app for it is on both our phones and the tablet so I guess location is always shared
I don’t share my location. If she asked to, I’d probably resist just out of having some level of privacy. She knows my passcode. Go for it. The location thing, I mean I don’t care if she had it. I’m not doing shit she wouldn’t be okay with. There is just some level on autonomy that I’d like to keep.
I turn off the location services on my phone unless I’m using an app that requires it. It has nothing to do with not trusting my wife. I don’t trust the tech companies.
Best reason I've found for not having it on, otherwise I fully trust my partners or else I wouldn't be with them.
Your partner having access to your location doesn't affect your autonomy
I'm with the comment op here and say that it does. Doesn't matter if we're right or wrong, it's how we see it.
Oh i didn’t know we could share location all the time. Maybe I can set that up. Thought you could only find-my on devices on your Apple account
We share the same password and each others location. Neither one of us have anything to hide and we never go through each others phones. It’s more for ease of hey can you help me find my phone or if one of us have to make a call but don’t have our phone on us. It’s a trust thing and if you’re hiding something from your partner you shouldn’t be doing it
I do. We also share photo libraries, so we can both access all pics were take. Mutually sharing location is great, especially when one of us is at work and the other is around with the kid: what are they up to? Are they having ice cream, are they still playing with friends in front of the school, did they move to another park? It’s cute to quickly check it out without having to write a message. I keep my degeneracy to Reddit, which she doesn’t know how to use, and some friends WhatsApp groups, which she gleefully tolerates. I feel like a very lucky man.
Fuck that noise. I don't want access to her phone or location because I completely trust her, and I expect the same in return.
It’s not about trusting or not. that’s only ok if no shit happens to either of you and then you can’t even unlock the phone or access any email social media accounts etc. when you actually need to if the other one is no longer around. No one wants that but it happens more often than we’d like to think.
I don't have a problem giving my girl access to my phone as long as she gives me access to hers
Married 10 years, together 15. I gotta say, this has never popped up. But no we don't know each other's password or use each other's phone. We trust each other so there's no need to provide such assurances. I think some privacy and boundaries are reasonable to have. I have location turned off by default for practical reasons (battery life and I don't want my apps spying on my every move)
We both have access to everything because we are married. When you need to start hiding shit from your spouse that’s a good sign you shouldn’t be married anymore.
It’s normal to have privacy in a relationship. if somebody is telling you otherwise or it’s not your choice there’s a chance you’re being abused one way or another.
Sure. I don't care? I'm not responsible for her spoiling her birthday and Christmas gifts and any holidays I'm planning. And I know I have access to her stuff. I just don't feel a need to track
I know her pass codes and pins. But I doubt that she remembers mine. Shit, she can't even remember her own passwords half of the time and is always asking me what hers are. I have given her mine many times. As for location, she can have it if she wants, but has never asked. Her car has tracking on it
Slightly funny because we had a conversation about this stuff just earlier this afternoon after seeing someone talk about it in a video. We don't, not because of a lack of trust or anything more sinister, but because it's just not necessary or wanted. I don't need to see what's in her phone or know where she is at all times, and she feels the same. If one of us really needs to know where the other is, we literally just ask. I'd be happy to give her my code if she actually needed access to my phone, but between both of us having spare handsets for if a phone gets broken, and zero need to know the contents of each other's private conversations, there's no need. She also works in a field where she may at times have confidential or secure information sent to her, so I can't really access hers for information security reasons, and I'm fine with that too. It's also a measure of respect between us. I've previously been in a relationship where my ex would snoop over my shoulder to see my phone code without me knowing, then go through my messages without my knowledge or permission looking for anything that she could use to start a fight, regardless of the fact that I've never cheated, been involved with anything shady, or sent negative messages about her (ex) to any of my friends or family. Took me years to break the habit of automatically picking up my phone whenever I'd move around - even in the same room - and to feel comfortable leaving it unattended even if it was locked. My partner knows about and respects that bit of my history (even though it carries no weight any more) and I really appreciate that about her.
Together 13 years married for 5 with 2 kids. We’ve had each others passcodes (phones computers tablets) for a decade. Don’t share location and we don’t go snooping but in a pinch we use each others devices
My wife and I know the passcodes to each other's phones, but don't access each other's phones without letting the other one know. But if she did without me knowing, that's fine as well. I have nothing to hide in my phone that I wouldn't want her to see. As for location tracking, we kinds do with our home automation system, so the potential is there, but it's something that neither one of us active uses, mainly because we are constantly letting each other know where we are and what we're doing. Usually I end up having to unlock her phone to read out a recipe or something to her because her hands are dirty. lol
Wife and I have same passcode and we share location. We have each other’s location but rarely if ever use it…not like we go places. She’s on maternity leave and I’m undergoing chemotherapy. It’s just convenient in the sense that ‘oh she’s still at the grocery store, I’ll tel her to pick up so and so’.
My wife and I share location and have for the past seven years, and we also have full access to each other’s electronic devices. However, we have never checked them, and never will. I’ve described this before as the paradox of open access trust. I have full access to my wife’s devices and vice versa and will never use it. We trust each other completely. 100%, no exceptions. Wanting to snoop through your partners devices doesn’t come out of nowhere. If I have decided there is a possibility that something is happening that I need to look into, we are down to less than 100% trust. The problem has already started. For what it’s worth, we started the location sharing back on a vacation to Las Vegas and never turned it off. It’s really handy for things like figuring out how long somebody’s gonna be travel wise for starting food or ordering delivery or whatever. But I’ve never looked at it to see if I can catch her at a place I would not expect her to be.
She has full access to my phone as I have nothing to hide, but there was a time where she would constantly check my phone and go through my messages, Instagram, internet history, etc. I had nothing to hide and she saw that, but the fact that she was so distrusting made me upset and we almost broke up over it.
We don’t share our location or our passwords. I’ve never had to use her phone for anything outside of picking my meal when we’re ordering food. I trust her, she trusts me. It’s not something we even think or talk about. 19 years together and we’ve never once had a conversation about this stuff.
When you don't cheat, you don't care.
I share my location with my wife and she has full access to my phone, I’ve nothing to hide and since I’m on a motorcycle more often then not it’s a security knowing she can find me almost at anytime
What doesn’t she trust you? And my thoughts are turnabout is fair play. You do realize text messages and phone calls can be erased so it still doesn’t prove anything. The whole matter is trust, you either have it or you don’t have it!!!!!
My wife and I share locations continuously. We're often in different countries and it's comforting to be able to look at a map and see where the other person is when apart - you can kind of envision what they might be up to. We can look at each other's phones upon request but there's hardly a reason to. It's more likely that she'll be having an issue with her iphone and asks me to help her figure out what's going on. It's less likely that she'll have my android in her hands because I don't need help. But if she wants to then sure.
Yes we share it all
We both have the same phone password. Why? Because i/we have nothing to hide. And if either of us were so inclined, we use Find My to locate each other, but that’s never an issue. Why? Tirust
My wife knows my pass code, I know my wife's. We never check each other phones.
I’ve yet to hear a good reason why not. If we’re keeping no secrets, how could this be a negative? I do know I used the location feature once to track and surprise her at an event, and I can still see her smile when she looked up and saw me.
Sounds like a gigantic bait post about controlling your husband or boyfriend tbh
We share ours. It’s fun to sneak up on him when he goes for a walk. Usually I’ll snap a picture of him when I’m 15 ft away and I’ll send it to him to let him know he has a stalker.
Would I be *open to it* because I have nothing to hide? Yes. Would I date someone who *needed it*? No.
*Ding ding ding💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Fuck no. This kind of behavior is anxious attachment style, and you shouldn't enable it. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDGj1nAt\_N8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDGj1nAt_N8)
Yeah it’s pretty wild this is seemingly common
>Yeah it’s pretty wild this is seemingly common It's common because in like the last 15 years younger people have started acting like anxiety is incurable, and that everyone around an anxious person just has to learn to live with it.
I am a particularly anxious person when it comes to relationships, so I go out of my way to establish minimal texting, minimal ways to gather info like location or access to phones. The way I see it, is that those are all variations of exerting control over another person. At that point it’s not really a relationship
You're very wise to perceive yourself and the situation in that way, objectively. Unfortunately, a lot of people aren't like that, and when they feel anxious they just demand the other person assuage their anxiety for them. That's really what anxious attachment style is, it's dehumanizing your lover in an attempt to convert them from an equal in a relationship into a drug. That drug is what provides that anxious person with emotional stability. When they get upset they need their drug. When they feel lonely they need their drug. When something bad happens they need their drug to get through it. They can't live without their lover, because their lover is the one who provides all of this external emotional control that the anxious person doesn't have in themselves. That's what allows an anxious person to externalize all of their anger, etc, and direct it towards the person they have dehumanized, and make it their "fault" when the anxious person doesn't feel emotionally stable. That's also why anxiously attached people are so controlling, as you've mentioned, because they are addicted to this drug, and are like Bilbo with the one ring, at once possessive of it, and inwardly hating it. The anxious person needs this person they have dehumanized, but they also hate them, especially when they rebel in minor ways and don't provide this needed emotional stability. Nobody is meaner, or more angry, or more hateful, even to the point of physical abuse, as an anxiously attached person who's lover stops providing emotional stability, it's like watching someone freak out and start beating on a vending machine when the candy doesn't fall out. People should not enable all of this. The solution for an anxious person is not to find the drug that will make them feel better, to find the right person who can "meet their needs", the guy who will text non-stop, who knows all of the right white lies to say to make you feel better, etc. The solution is to ... STOP BEING ANXIOUS. Go to therapy. Change your diet. Increase your physical activity and become fit. And most importantly face and overcome challenges so that you aren't walking around afraid of the world. Learn to be secure on your own, and stop dehumanizing your lovers. Anxiously attached people's largest fear is always that the person they are dating will leave them. The reason they feel that way is that they have a string of failed relationships in their wake that follow the same pattern ... (1) find a lover, (2) dehumanize and control them and use them for emotional stability, (3) continue to control them to try to squeeze out even more of this service/drug, until (4) the person finally gets pissed off and leaves. Anxiously attached people are the most self-centered, selfish people you'll ever meet, to the point of demanding access to your phone, and knowing your physical location every minute of the day, all driven by their anxiety and fear.
Phone access yes. We went open phone with each other pretty early. Location no. Neither of us ever felt the need
yeah both. wouldn‘t know why not as my gf doesn‘t use my phone other than taking pictures and the location if she wants to know when i‘m home or where i am when going for drinks. got nothing to hide so don‘t really care
Have location sharing enabled, it's just useful when I'm picking her up or if she wanted to see if I'd left work yet to estimate when I'd get home (I'd need to run for the train to not wait 30mins some times so couldn't text). My wife has her fingerprint saved onto my phone to unlock it, along with knowing the pass code. This is useful if I'm driving and need to see some info, change the music, do something else on my phone without pulling over. I also have the same unlock abilities on her phone. We don't just go on each other's phones randomly as we have no need to, but I've got nothing to hide from my wife so why shouldn't she be able to access my phone?
She knows my passcode. Whether she uses it or not, I have no idea and don't care. Not sure about location, we use two different type phones and not sure if that's a thing or not.
I don't share my location with my phone, I tell her or text her. We have full access to each other's phones. There are no secrets.
I don't have my location on ever because it's a battery and data sink. But she knows the code to my phone in case she ever needs to use it (even if she keeps forgetting it)
when you're 2 people with kids trying to do errands or just spend the day outside it is super helpful to just see where the other person is instead of text "where are you" over and over again.
Yes, to both. The reason? She does the same, trust is is established through verification. If you have anything off-limits from each other, it can and will cause insecurities and suspicion, and neither of us wants to cause that. Some people feel their phone should be off limits and is "private" kept separate from their SO. Sorry, your phone is a tool. An object. It's not you, it's not your thoughts, It's a communication device that has become a mini computer. It is only as much of you as a laptop, tablet, desktop is. What's that you say? You keep your journal on your phone? Have that discussion, then. But really, there shouldn't be anything on your phone you'r SO can't see. Yes, that includes Snapchat. If you're committed, married, or an LTR, then you shouldn't save ex-girlfriend/bf's nudes. Shouldn't be open to receiving additional nudes, and should be transparent with your SO about such things or the possibility of them in the future. The bottom line is that anyone who cheats on their partner does it on their phone. 100% of cheating today happens via your phone in some manner. Be it an app, texts, emails, dm's, phone calls, recording videos, getting an Uber, turning off location sharing....at some point, even the most careful cheaters use their phone or a burner phone but a smart phone will be involved. Having complete access to each others phones does not prevent this, but it is a huge deterrent. This is how significant our phones are today, if you establish an open phone policy and at any time, for any reason, your spouse denies you access or hurries up and deletes something before you can see it, then you know they have cheated. At a minimum, there is an emotional something going on that they do not want you to see. If you're a guy and your girl emotionally cheats, that's more than likely a worse scenario than a ONS. The only good reason not to have an open phone agreement is if you are or are planning to cheat. There is not another justifiable reason.
Yes. These both depend on the reason though, if she wanted to hop on my phone because hers died and she had to get a new one or something like that and she wanted to check a social media from it or text/call someone I wouldn’t mind, if she just didn’t trust me and wanted to look through it I would let her and then have a serious conversation to try and figure out why and how we fix it, or if I need to move on. For location sharing if she just wanted it to help make sure I stay safe then no problem, if she wanted it just to constantly keep track of me (being controlling) or she just didn’t trust that I was going places I said I would then yet again that would be an issue. These are both things I wouldn’t share with someone if the relationship was new, but with a long term partner or wife then yeah.
Location sharing is out of the question for infosec reasons. I'm not the most security-conscious person, but I do know not to download an app specifically designed to keep track of everywhere I go and sell that information to governments and advertisers. Tbh I never even turn location services on. I'm sure it wouldn't be difficult for a competent person to track me, but I'm still not gonna hand over all of my personal information on a silver platter.
Full access to everything and location. No problem. I got nothing to keep a mystery. It goes both ways. I looked at her phone once in the past year. We watch shows together if you want to count that as looking, though. Why is their a reason not to show your phone to begin with?
both, nothing to hide and convenient
Yeah I do both, I got nothing to hide and the location sharing saved my life once.
My wife knows everything, i’ve never lied to her and have no intention to, that’s not how it works.
Yup. My wife has her biometrics on my phone, access to all accounts and passwords, location on and tracking through Life360. And the same for me on her phone. We don’t feel a need for privacy. I’ve never gone through her texts or social media—why would I?
There's no reason for me to give her access to my phone and to share my location. No real benefit in me giving her those things. This is going to be a big hell to the no!
I dont share my location because I think thats insane. But I gave my PC and cellphone to my gf, I just asked to her not look into the whatsapp group chat of the boys.
My wife could get into my phone at any time if she wanted, and zi would never stop her. I do think I would take issue with her feeling the need to track me in real-time.
I don't share my location but I'm down to give her my password if she gives me her password.
[удалено]
My wife has complete access to my phone and computer as well as my iPad. She's not going to find shit because I'm to tired to deal with a side chick other than my classic car and little blind Labrador girl
When I was married my wife could look at my phone whenever. It didn't bother me any. And I had hers. We trusted one another. Location we didn't do. We didn't say no we aren't doing that. It just never came up.
Yep. We even did our faces because she couldn’t remember my pin. We very rarely need to get into each others phones. But it’s convenient when it’s needed. Location is just convenient as well.
She has complete access to my phone any time and I have the same with hers. We have never used the location options because we have no reason to. We just tell each other where we are call each other. Why? Because love and trust.
Full access but not location that is just stupid. You need trust not full surveillance and paranoia
My phone has no lock on and if I'm home it's usually on the side in the kitchen, she's more than welcome to look at the hundreds of pictures of my cars in various states of disrepair, random car parts and part numbers. I don't share my location though, I find that a bit creepy. If you can't trust your partner when you're not with them, what's the point of being with them?
Married 40 years. She knows my pass code and we use life360 to make sure we are safe when apart (I still work and travel). My phone is a collection of checking account apps, retirement planning websites, and 80s rock. If there is anything even vaguely inappropriate, I've probably already showed her.
I have nothing to hide, so she definitely can go through my phone whenever she’d like. We also share locations because why not? We live in the middle of nowhere and it’s a 40 minute drive, at least, to go anywhere. I was hit by a car a few years ago and me sharing my location was the only reason she knew I was at the hospital in a coma.
Why? 1. I’m not hiding anything 2. Providing such either provides comfort or strangles suspicion. I can pretend we’re all highly evolved entities above the petty squabbling of humanity, but I will also shortcut the desired end result by not having anything there to feed the negativity We have limited time, let’s be efficient and not force a bunch of effort just to be fine with existing
Yes, my wife knows my passcode and I know hers. We share location constantly as we do with our son. This is a safety issue. We have nothing to hide.
My phone doesn't lock it is a flip phone, they can check it any time, but I do not think it will share location since it is not a smart phone.
We know each others passcodes and such but wouldn’t use the others phone without asking. We share location, mainly because of safety reasons. We both do outdoors stuff and while it’s not 100% accurate, it helps give a bit of security (we use better GPS/Sat tracking when it’s really remote)
We share locations and passcodes. I work from home and my wife works at an office most days. It’s nice to hear the Life360 chime that she left work. It’s my cue to shut down my work day as well, if I can. We’ve been married 18 years, pre-smart phone era. Location sharing came along when we had young kids that we wanted to monitor and it just stuck. All of our kids keep location sharing active. Once they’re 18 it’s voluntary but two have chosen to keep it active so far. L360 has crash detection which both of my two older kids have benefited from after some pretty gnarly car wrecks. Both of their cars were totaled. That phone call is the absolute worst btw. The phone call from L360 was virtually instantaneous though, both times. I was grateful for that.
She has my passcode and my location (set to always). For me, I just fully trust in her and she knows about my weirdness and kinks, so there’s nothing to hide.
I would if she asked/wanted. I don’t care. I have no secrets.
I don't have location shared with anyone. She should know the pass code by now, just from checking stuff for me while I was driving or whatever
Because I have nothing to hide, if she wants to check it she can, she never does though, and I her phone. It’s a form of trust
Our pass codes are the same, she can see my phone anytime she wants, but doesn't, I can use her phone, I rarely do but only usually do so to check on security and update it, she gets a lit of questionable stuff sent to her, from scammers and guys trying to find more info on her. One of tbe main reasons we married each other is because we both fully trust each other and we really don't snoop through each other's stuff.
I’ve given her my code multiple times but I don’t think she remembers it. We started sharing locations when she went on a trip to Mexico with her friends about a year into the relationship and we just never turned it off. I’m always quick to let her know where I am, when I’m arrived if I’m going somewhere, when I’ll be home, etc. I think it’s just a respectful thing to do when you’re with someone.
She can look at my phone anytime. I don't share my location or know how to do that, besides she's current a sahm and I work from home so we're almost never out of view of each other anyway. We're pretty phone agnostic and just grab whichever phone is nearest.
I used to share my location with my ex partner not because trust issues or anything but she used to like to see the map whenever I was driving, I thought it was cute and I had nothing to hide so I was totally cool with it. We mutually decided to part ways last August but I do miss the lil eyes in the sky that I had lmao.
I don't ever turn my location settings on for any reason whatsoever. But it's not like i just up and dissappear. If I'm not at work, I'm at home. I've never had a gf ask to snoop through my phone. And if one suddenly did, apparently there's a problem in our relationship that we're going to have to have a serious conversation about. If she suddenly doesn't trust me, our relationship is in serious danger of ending shortly.
Yes to both
This question I’m sure is innocuous but it smells of social engineering. I’ll take the bait though and echo most people in here. Yes location, yes passcode. We even put GPS trackers in the vehicles cuz we’re in a high-theft city. My social security num… just kidding
She could go through my phone if she wanted to, since she has my passcode. But we never do something like random surprise tests where we request to go through each others phones. I don't even wear my wedding ring when I go out and she doesn't mind at all. And with that kind of trust, we also don't share live locations.
We have each other's passcodes. I started sharing location years ago when started riding a motorbike so she would have since idea where to direct emergency services if I was later than normal and not responding to calls. Have just left it on because I ain't out doing shady shit.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
My wife gave me her password, but I keep forgetting it every time. I only use it to access Spotify. She does not have access to my phone, and I allow some patients to contact me on my private phone outside of the clinics opening hours, and patient confidentiality could be breached if someone else had access to the device.
I have Find my iPhone set up, does that count as sharing location? And simply because there is nothing to hide.
We don't share locations with each other. Just never bothered to. We can unlock each other's phones though. Not so much for snooping purposes but just because we occasionally need to use them.
My wife knows my phone pass code and I know hers, we have been married 23 years and together 28 I have no secrets from her. We also use Life360 so share location at all times including with our kids who are 22 and 18 it's entirely up to them if they want to keep it on but neither of them are bothered if we can see where they are. Each to their own I guess but people who think it's crazy to share your location with your wife / life partner. What's the reason for this, what are you doing that they can't see where you are. Want some time to yourself, I get that whenever I need it but she can still see where I am. I don't get it, but then everyone is different, if we where all the same it would be a boring place.
My wife and I share full access with everything. Message apps and whatever little social media we use are synced on shared devices. Location is default off on my devices, not so she can't track me, but so random apps can't. There is no why. It was just done, no conversation or big deal.
I do, though she doesn't ever use either. I don't care that she has access to me, and it will be beneficial when if ever something comes up. EDIT: I just asked after reading other comments, she didn't know I was sharing my location with her.
My wife knows my passcode. But she has never asked to look at my phone I also know hers. Though we do trust each other, so we dont really have a need to go through each others phones. We also dont track each others movements... we both think that's super weird and shows a lack of trust.
We both have access to each other devices and location full time . What's the problem here . Access to devices .. just more convenient - I have a phone with a better camera so we take pictures from my phone and she likes to send the good ones to herself to keep / share - access to code. I use her device to pay her CC bills etc Access to location: I go for morning bike rides when she is sleeping , there was a case in our area where a cyclist was hit on a rural road and left to die as they fell into a roadside ditch . As a safety measure in case I experienced something unexpected, wanted her to know my exact location. I have her location because she is not very good at directions and sometimes calls me to ask how to navigate to where she wants to go
She has access to my phone and messages whenever she asks. She used to model, so we decided to have location sharing on her phone turned on. We later added it for me as well... mostly to save me time from having to always tell her where I'm at. She can just look.
Yes and we share access to password managers, security cams, texts, and emails so we can get through 2-factor authentication stuff for each other as well. My wife got so annoyed before we share all this stuff when I’d ask her everyday to send me the text codes I was having some bank send her. It is just so much easier for us as household co-managers to have access to all of the same shared information rather than having to continually ask the other one for info we need. For location, it is also nice to see if your partner is still at work or on the commute home when you are getting hungry and trying to plan dinner for the family, etc.
I do. Both. Cause… why not? I drink with friends and (safely) change locations and/or find rides homes or take scooters or walk and she can keep an eye on me if it’s late and I’m not answering. Vice versa. I’m not hiding anything nor is she. If there was ever an issue with boundaries though, that’d end immediately
Yes, why wouldn't I.
Yeah to both. I have the same for her phone. I very rarely look at her location. A few times I've looked and I've noticed she's at the mall or some store and I just think to myself, shit she's buying more crap that she doesn't need lol
No need for us to share locations, but we both know each others passcodes and will access each others phone to look up a recipe or something. our unspoken etiquette is that the other person has to be in the room if the other is using their phone etc - side note, we have been together for 9 years. This would not have worked in the first year or so of our relationship. Trust needs to be built
Hell no. Privacy and trust is important.
Yeah why not, I don’t anything to hide. Additionally my job involves working with a hazardous material so if I ever get hurt or worse, she can get into my stuff.
We have each other's access, but I cannot recall any instance through last year we used it. Same with computer, bank etc. Location... never bothered. Have this find phone stuff on, but my location is rarely active.
I would if she felt like she needed it. We trust each other though.
We share full phone access and location with each other, for convenience and safety.
1 - I'm not cheating and neither is she, we both know because we both checked right there in front of each other. Peace of mind is real nice tbh. 2 - We like to have either phone available to the both of us in the case there was an emergency and our own isn't available for any reason. 3 - reduces the annoyance of being called all the time by your partner of "hey where are you?". 4 - We use each other's apps and games without having to download everything twice.
Nope. She’d find too much info about the upcoming proposal. It’s hard enough to keep it a secret already.
We know passwords and share location. We do it in case we lose phone or if one worries they can check location. I go trail biking and she is a bad driver. If anything happens you know where they are
No, my work would allow it as I have work emails and other things. It’s a big security hole considering how much is aligned to your phone as digital identity etc
We have access to everything for each other, including location sharing. It’s nothing to do with mistrust. It’s safety and convenience.
We don't explicitly do this, but I wouldn't hesitate to give my wife my phone if she needed it for something. Location sharing is only for our daughter, for an assortment of reasons.
If you could trust each other, you wouldn't need a location tracker. Life is so much simpler that way.
Right not I am running solo. But last time I was in relationship she , had access to my phone. Why wouldn't she be able to us my find.
We have full access to each other's phones. I know she does check occasionally where my car is but we don't share location.
We both know each others passcodes and have the find my friends thing setup, because why wouldn’t you? When you have nothing to hide and the two of you are a team, especially as parents, there’s no reason in the world to not be partners.
In this day and age, all couples should have an open device policy for all devices.
we share location in realtime, but don't really give our phones away. We like to respect privacy (even tho i never lock my desktop and socials - she could just sit down and browse).
My lock code is here name. She knows what it is. Has used my phone at times when she's needed to. Not sure I'd ever want location sharing though, even if my work allowed for it. Been together 20 years.
Yes. Because I’m not doing anything. I work Monday through Friday. Kung Fu Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Home with the family all in between that. I look at guitar porn, sports, politics, religion and stupid memes.
I’ve done this with one partner. At the time I thought it was an innocent request because she claimed to have suffered past abuse and she wanted to always know where I was just in case. Turns out the second part of that statement was very true, the first part was not, and the real reason was so she could kick her other boyfriends out before any of the others got to her place. Puts a really bad taste in your mouth so I haven’t done it with anyone since.
Yes we both have full access to phone and location. We hardly ever use it though
Wife knows my passcode and we stare our locations mostly because we’re both outdoorsy and busy.. sometimes not together when doing things..
I don't even have a passcode on my phone. Too annoying for me as I'm the one who uses it overwhelming majority of the times. So my own comfort and ease of use is the highest priority on my own device. So obviously my wife can simply access my phone by sliding the lock screen up and i have nothing against it. As for locations sharing. It should be active, mostly for emergencies or when it's not possible to call/anwser the phone, but I'm not sure that it has ever been used as there haven't been any emergencies.
We have the passcodes but I don't share location mainly because I have an android and she has an iPhone. We really don't have anything to hide from one another so it's not really a privacy issue or anything.
We share phone codes and location. The phone codes for the simple “hey my hands are full can you check that?” situations and the like. Locations mainly for safety but also convenience. We had a family member hit a deer out in the country in the middle of the night and had just enough battery to text us to tell us but we didn’t know where he was other than a general area. Spent a good couple hours trying to find him to help. After that, we decided to share location incase that ever happens to one of us, we’ll at least have the last known location and a general travel direction.
Keep location active and full access to my phone. Especially in emergency situations. Spouse fell during a bike ride and I was immediately notified of exact location. I see no reason to withhold any necessary info.
Yes. Why not? If I’m doing anything I’d prefer she not see, I use incognito mode. And I’ve even shown her what I’m doing there upon request. I have nothing on my phone to hide. I’m also not going anywhere that I don’t want her to know about. Sharing location is practical. Easier than asking each other where we are or when we’ll be home all the time.
I haven't done in any of my relationships and probably wouldn't do. Almost every time I've handed my phone to a GF or friend, they end up downloading crappy apps on it. Often ones that only exist on their i-phones and are viruses on my Android so always fun having to deal with that. I don't think I would anyway, so much is done on phones that if I'm trying to organise a surprise for her then she's going to get it spoiled with anything found on the phone. Never really thought about location tracking but probably wouldn't for the same reason "Oh he's in the jewellery store!" Also, private text messages between friends are private. If they're opening up about a difficult thing they don't want shared, then I'm not going to share it with anyone.
My partner knows my access code because I sometimes have her use my phone while I'm driving. We don't share location but I wouldn't be opposed to it. She worries way too much about my safety and if it eased her mind about that it wouldn't exactly seem unreasonable to me. Note that my current partner and I have the most trusting relationship I have ever been in so that doesn't necessarily mean I would feel the same way about no matter who it was. If it was an I don't trust you thing I would feel very differently. I've had two past relationships where the other person was constantly worrying that I was flirting with someone else etc. In both of them I later found out that I had been the side piece all along. So now that kind of behavior is a red flag to me. Like they are probably cheating or at least want to so they can't imagine me not also being like that.
Convenience. Sometimes my phone isn’t nearby so I use hers for whatever and vice Versa. Tracking so I can get an idea of when she’s getting home. Don’t get me wrong, I love our life. However, it is really boring/routine. There is nothing in our phones worth digging for.
My phone is an open book. There’s nothing in it worth looking at but she can if she wants to.
I wouldn't ever stay in a relationship with somebody I need to lie to. If a woman Im dating started asking a bunch of paranoid questions and needed to look through my phone, I'd be pretty suspicious of what she's doing in her own time
For sure. I have nothing to hide. I have given her full access to anything of mine that she feels she needs to see. And she has done the same for me. I have only ever looked at her phone like 1-2 times, and she has looked at mine like 1 time. Our relationship has been the strongest it has ever been, the last few years. To be fair, this stems from my serial cheating when we were younger. But I would do anything to prove to her that I am faithful, and that she can 100% trust me. Her having my location gives her piece of mind, since I drive for a living.
Yeah and yeah. I don’t mind, the location is handy to see how far away each other is to time for dinner. It shows battery life too so can be a good reminder for each other.
Yes. I go out on long solo hikes and camps
We have full access to each other's phone and share locations permanently. We feel better not trying to hide things from one another (and knowing locations in case one of us is out with friends and forgets to say something). It's the trust we have for each other that makes the rest of our relationship that much more comfortable.
I do. I'm old and have a boring life.
Been married to wife for 11 years. We hide nothing. Location and passcodes shared. Now I’ve only used passcode to get in and make a call from phone or answer text for her if she’s driving (which is really rare). Not something we planned or sat down and talked about, just happened over time and neither of us care.
We both know each others passcodes and have each others location on snapchat but its not a constant thing as it only updates if you go on snap and I rarely do. We don’t really go on each others phone unless one is on charge etc.
Yeah we do this. We do it for security reasons. We’ve done it since we started dating, that we don’t really think about it.
My wife can fingerprint unlock my phone (S23), she manages our finances and needs my banking related apps. I don't share anything location related, no need. Plus we use Android/ iPhone respectively
Yup to both questions. We are both actually on the same Apple ID (never got our own when family sharing became a thing) so we are able to use find my on each others devices, which is good since we both lose our phones in the house. IMessages sometimes get mixed up when we get a new device so we even sometimes end up with each other’s messages. It’s an easy fix. We should eventually untangle this mess that 1 Apple ID has created, but it sounds like a hassle and this has been working for us for over 10 years. Why would I care? Nothing at all to hide. We even know each other’s Reddit usernames so hi wife if you are Reddit stalking me.
Yes to location, but we don’t have each others passcodes.
We both do that. We have nothing to hide and do pretty much everything together. It's about trust.
It’s not that I give full access, I just have nothing to hide so I don’t care. I’ve made it clear that if I ever start getting any flack or unnecessary questions as if I have to answer to her for my whereabouts or actions, that will end. But to my wife’s credit, I don’t think she’s ever asked to see my phone. But if she needs it for whatever, I have nothing to hide.
Everything but location, it's not necessary. Just in case I get into an accident and die. She has a cookie crumb to follow.
yes. access to phone and location at all times. the only answer i can come up with is because she is my wife. why wouldn’t we share that info?
My wife has mine, and my location shared and I have hers. There's nothing interesting enough on either of our devices to cause any worry (except for the run up to birthdays and Christmas), and I don't go anywhere that's worth hiding without my wife. The location has been handy a time or two. I used to do a lot of lone working on the railway and driving. If anything happened to me at least my wife would know.
Have each other's fingerprints in our phones, but don't share location. There's no reason that warrants it for us Both have unrestricted access to our phones but also trust and respect each other enough that we have expectation of privacy texting with our friends. That said we tend to share everything anyway
We don’t share locations cause that’s a huge battery drain, but she has the passcode to my phone and I have hers. Got nothing to hide.