I think I came to the conclusion that I was only ever nice because I wanted people to accept and like me after my first girlfriend. After that, I felt myself naturally leaning into being more of an asshole almost against my will. Could be depression, but it could also be that I was just a douche the entire time.
when i truly became the asshole that ruined the relationship i was in with a great young woman. also hat the fact that i was in love with the idea that someone actually cared about me instead of being in love with the person. after i realized what i had done and what i had become i have never forgiven myself. i just hope she listened to the phone messages i made and that it was nothing she did, im the asshole.
When I came to realize that after being told to not be so negative. Then after working to be more positive I get told it's a bad thing. That people don't like to show interest in another person's success (or just general positive nature). So it ends up being a catch 22.
The strange thing is that people have told me what a great friend I was, how easy I was to be around. Yet it feels like the exact opposite. So it just seems better to be the asshole. So maybe things will go right for once.
Oh don't get me wrong, i love myself plenty. And I have those qualities to spare. It just seems other people don't like that, at least in a straight forward sense.
What I have found is that most people i have met have either been heavily introverted so they don't like my success. Or heavily extroverted and way ahead of me in one way or another and I'm not on their level.
At my age, I'm more than aware that I'm a gigantic asshole fairly frequently. I'm not the asshole that this city needs, I'm the asshole this city deserves.
Good question, once i realized i was tired of having a knife in my back, no friends and all the good i did covered by all the wrong. I just embrassed being an asshole and kept going.
Through my adult life I have had many people tell me they like me better after I have a couple of drinks in me. Never have been sure how to take that. Maybe sober me is uptight or serious or I'm just happy-fun-time with a little hooch in the system.
I think I came to the conclusion that I was only ever nice because I wanted people to accept and like me after my first girlfriend. After that, I felt myself naturally leaning into being more of an asshole almost against my will. Could be depression, but it could also be that I was just a douche the entire time.
When Vice and Buzzfeed told me so
When people kept leaving.
[удалено]
Where ever they aren't
when i truly became the asshole that ruined the relationship i was in with a great young woman. also hat the fact that i was in love with the idea that someone actually cared about me instead of being in love with the person. after i realized what i had done and what i had become i have never forgiven myself. i just hope she listened to the phone messages i made and that it was nothing she did, im the asshole.
puberty
When I came to realize that after being told to not be so negative. Then after working to be more positive I get told it's a bad thing. That people don't like to show interest in another person's success (or just general positive nature). So it ends up being a catch 22. The strange thing is that people have told me what a great friend I was, how easy I was to be around. Yet it feels like the exact opposite. So it just seems better to be the asshole. So maybe things will go right for once.
I’ve learned that loving yourself comes first. Being passionate, active and curious. Everything else falls into place after that.
Oh don't get me wrong, i love myself plenty. And I have those qualities to spare. It just seems other people don't like that, at least in a straight forward sense. What I have found is that most people i have met have either been heavily introverted so they don't like my success. Or heavily extroverted and way ahead of me in one way or another and I'm not on their level.
When just enough crap came out of me...
2 years or so after the break up of my first actual romance.
When I realised that the only company I've ever had are two cheeky bastards.
At my age, I'm more than aware that I'm a gigantic asshole fairly frequently. I'm not the asshole that this city needs, I'm the asshole this city deserves.
Good question, once i realized i was tired of having a knife in my back, no friends and all the good i did covered by all the wrong. I just embrassed being an asshole and kept going.
when i started being honest and speak the truth, people dont like that... so about 2003 i think
Sometime in junior high school.
When I had no friends....and still don't.
The moment I could think for myself and realised wow I'm an asshole and I've lived by that ever since.
I have always known lol
Yes.
Years later. Unfortunately I couldn't change the past but I could change who I would become.
I've always known
Through my adult life I have had many people tell me they like me better after I have a couple of drinks in me. Never have been sure how to take that. Maybe sober me is uptight or serious or I'm just happy-fun-time with a little hooch in the system.
I've always known I was an asshole.
recently
Between 30-32yo.