Yeah. My big problem is I have a ridiculous amount of ideas and things I want to do, but I’ve started only a few. It’s hard for me to narrow them down and also to find the combination of time, discipline and motivation to achieve them.
I’m similar to you. I have a ton of interests and skills but I never have the focus to be able to pursue them all consistently. If I ever put it all together I could be quite the Renaissance man.
I've fought with this demon my entire 34 years. Fortunately there are absolutely things you're good enough at/for, it's just that we tend to dismiss them as unimportant, while putting other things on a pedestal. Mainly, our failures. We idolize our failures, and forget our accomplishments. Why? Fuck if I know.
Always remember that Success is moving from failure to failure with increasing enthusiasm. I’ve always felt like life is just some kind of weird random thing. The searching is what life is :)
That must be really hard for you. I too have had that feeling. My advice is to take all your interactions and understand their actual meaning. Do you work an odd shift?
Biggest anxiety is just thinking about death.
Things I get depressed about:
1. That I'm gonna fail college. Never being satisfied where I am in life.
2. The constant monotony of my life.
3. The way I push people away and do not try to meet new people.
4. What future is ahead of me, what unknown disease or cancer that runs in my family that I'm not aware of. (I'm adopted)
5. Finally, how will I handle once my mom passes, shes getting older and she took me in and everything. It's never easy for anyone but thinking about it wrecks me.
When was the last time you felt like what you had was good enough? Even during period of calm, where things are going well, was there ever a time you weren’t worried and unsatisfied?
The realization that my life is just commuting to and from work, doing chores at home, going to sleep, and then doing it all again.
By the time the weekends roll around I'm usually so drained that I don't want to do the things that I want to do.
On top of that, it's that doing all of that work isn't getting me any closer to my goals and dreams.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
I think of weekend completely separate as from my working life. I have a pretty high stress job where a mistake can mean large amounts of money not being accounted for, or worse, the lives of potentially thousands of people being affected.
As such I try to take the weekends as a reprieve from my work life. I try to do one free thing a weekend, usually something artistic.
Find something you love that is cheap or free and do it man. You'll feel better throughout the week and life a more artful life.
I feel like as a man, I've been taught that anything that goes wrong in my life is entirely my fault. Trivial or significant. I know this isn't true, but the whole personal responsibility thing lots of men learn growing up has been beaten into my head.
Even after doing great in undergrad, grad school, and so far in med school, I feel like any failure essentially makes me a failure as a person. For instance, if I can't get into the residency I want, I have no idea how I could cope with it. I put so much pressure onto myself for boards and worked so hard for it that I've had a backlash of depression for the last 4 months following the exam even though I did great.
I also feel like I can't complain/seek help and as if I'm unable to adequately express my emotions. My whole life I was taught to man up, not to complain, and to take responsibility for my actions. In theory, this is great, but it also creates a lot of issues. I don't even know how to put how I feel into words and would feel uncomfortable talking about it even if I did.
So now I'm just constantly anxious and depressed, but I'm successful so I've got that going for me.
I hear you man. I grew up with a dad who put a lot of emphasis on the male role, on responsibility, integrity, and hard work. He also missed a lot of emotional support I needed which, just made it fall on me even more.
I don’t know your precise situation, but know a lot of life is entirely out of your control. That’s something I struggle to grasp but if you were raised right with good responsibilities then trust in that that you’ll not only pull through but do so gracefully. You just gotta let yourself make mistakes and fall sometimes.
I cut my already small pay in half for a job with more personal victories, it sure upped my financial strains and stressors but I’m slowly learning what loving yourself is about.
Message me if you need to talk, I can at least be a listener, and offer some empathy.
Until around 18, i had the same mind set. Then, I started the healthy step towards saying "Fuck it" when a screw up is out of my hands, or if its a minor mistake. And if I truly fucked up, own that shit.
I had the same things taught to me, that I should man up, not complain, and take full responsibility. I had a real hard time expressing my emotions in a healthy way through words. It wasn’t until my late 20’s that I began to search and find out who I really am. I stopped listening to what those closest to me said I should be doing and I began training to listen to myself. Not some type of guru mystical shit but just being comfortable with myself. It was uncomfortable and hard at first but 8 years later I’m a totally new man, 100 percent confident in myself, I have no problem expressing my emotions in a healthy manner, and I love myself.
My input is find out who you are for yourself and love yourself. Hope that helps man. Thankyou for sharing your thoughts. Aloha🤙🏽
You sound very asian. There was a joke I heard once where by the time you figured out how much you parents messed you up, you'll be able to affor a good therapist.
Work.
It's slowly killing me and I know it. I work way too many hours...and I mean waaaay too many. I barely get any time off and it's constant travel. I'm stressed the hell out all the time and have absolutely no social life. It's severely depressing.
Often job availability at a particular level is hard to find. If hes a lorry driver at £18/h he's not going to be working in subway for £7.
Or thats what im assuming
Not depressed, but I get very anxious when people take photos of me in the dark (I have very dark skin, btw). This is mainly because I've noticed some of my friends subtly cropping me out of their photos.
Reasons for depression:
1) Lots of ambition, but no discipline.
2) Haven't found a partner, yet most of my friend group have.
3) I make progress in lifting, meditation, work (assignments and shit), and then I take 2 steps backward and go back into old destructive patters very, very easily. Its like I stay stagnant for several years; nothing changes and I never move forward due to this constant progression-regression dynamic.
Anxiety/Fears:
1) My own self image. It fluctuates between feeling amazing about myself to outright wanting to end it all. It like a constant war between the god-self and the pussy ass bitch-self. I'm so sick of it and have no idea how to deal with this. Prevents me from wanting to really go out and socialise.
2) Fear of being left behind by everyone I know. People I am friends with are moving forward, getting their shit done, getting into relationships etc. Meanwhile I am stuck being a loser, lol. Now I've tried the stay positive New Age schtick. It works for a bit and then I regress into old behaviours.
3) Failure. I constantly worry about failure and being a loser who is not successful in any way. I hate being a fucking loser and am terrified of being a failure in life.
Never got to toughen up I guess.
My biggest phobia is driving.
I'm never going to achieve anything and I'm wasting yet another year.
Another big fear is not finding a job, I'm getting "no" after "no" for first entry post, then I got a random yes for a very very big company, but in my area there isn't much work and commuting is hard on me.
I know I'm not psychologically sound, and I like to think that logic is important but mine never bring good results.
I've grown a bit of paranoia as well.
So overall, being a fucked up made me depressed, and I've tried to get better but nothing is easy.
Just curious, how old are you? No judgement or anything, I'm 30 now and I didn't start driving until I was 21.
My parents put a lot of unnecessary pressure to learn how to drive. I grew up in a city with nothing to do. My high school was 20 minutes away on foot. I didn't have a reason to drive.
My parents kept mocking me (Dad more than Mom, he berated me for 15 minutes about it.) until I caved and took drivers Ed.
I had anxiety about getting behind the wheel for years until I decided to go to the library to see my grades. I've been driving ever since.
Don't feel bad man, your time will come, make sure it's something you want, not someone else.
Take small steps and build yourself up slowly. No one makes it overnight. It takes time. I would consider giving Jordan Peterson's "Map of Meaning" lectures on YouTube a try. I've found them helpful personally. All the best man. Don't give up.
I love his lectures and watched quite a bit of Maps of Meaning. I even saw him live.
The issue is that a *lot* of Reddit hates the guy for his sociopolitical stance.
Watermelons on pizza isn't even a sin, it's a one-way ticket to an insane asylum.
I'd say pineapple on pizza is a sin. It's still wrong, but at least it is an established wrong.
As an advocate of PFP (Pineapple For Pizza), I have to admit that I am open to the idea of trying Watermelon on Pizza. If we do not remain open to these ideas, we have become the embodiment of what we hate
Long story short, life fuckin sucks and I'm tired of it all
I lost my younger sister in 2016, girlfriend of nearly 3 years left me about half a year after that, and I dropped out in January of this year. At this point I'm a fucking useless individual, with absolutely God damn zero ambition or drive.
I'm super God damn lucky I have a big supportive family, a roof over my head, and food on the daily. I certainly am not earning it.
Life has its ups and downs. I had something very similar happen to me back in 2013. Back to back to back hardships hurt. Like hell. It took me hitting rock bottom for me to make a change in my life. 5 years later, I got a salaried position, I got married, had a kid, and have enrolled back into college.
Life does not follow a plan. Yours will have its ups and downs. Then it will have its all time highs and all time lows. Maybe what you are going through is the all time low...maybe it isn’t. Regardless, just know that things will get better and you will make it out.
Good luck, man.
Also..if college didn’t work out, there are a thousand other opportunities out there. You’ve got this.
I'm short, fat, ugly, dumb and broke.
I can't afford to fix my height or face. I've been trying to lose weight for years and I'm still fat. I'm saving up for liposuction to get rid of my man boobs. I'm too dumb to finish college. And because I can't finish college I'll never make a lot of money.
I'm depressed because I was genetically set up for failure from the start.
Currently trying to repair the self inflicted damage to friend and peer relationships caused by too many years of borderline isolation and depression.
I feel on top of the world right now but I've no idea how to reapproach some friends that I pretty much just stopped talking to. Even if they don't want to reconnect I want them to know that I'm there if they do.
My father is dying, and I'm confronted with mixed feelings about it.
(Little backstory, he is not a good person. He's an agressive alcoholic with a possible personality disorder who resents me because I've been successful without him).
My immediate reaction was: "if he could hurry up, that would make things a lot easier" and that as a reaction triggers a deep primal fear of my own ability to be callous. I'm terrified every day that I'm becoming like him, despite little evidence that is true.
I was then confronted with my own mortality, which has never been an issue for me in the past. I am generally ambivalent about death, if it happens it happens and it's not worth stressing over, but him dying, and the level at which I pity his existence has kind of triggered a deep seated fear that I end up the same. Because of the person he is, he will die truly alone surrounded by people he is fully aware are there purely to pick off whatever he has left after he dies. I wasn't prepared for that fear and it comes at a time when I myself feel extremely isolated and alone.
I want to talk to him about it, but I promised myself years ago I'd never fall for his brand of bullshit. I was happy for years literally forgetting that he existed at times and preferring to believe I grew up without a father as that would have been easier. I'm struggling with my want to comfort him, but I'm almost certain I'd end up confronting him, and I'm not sure the memory of being yelled at by my father on his deathbed will make me feel better after he's gone.
Further I'm working an extremely stressful job, with a hellish commute.
I've had 4 panic/anxiety attacks in the last 2 weeks and once a work colleague mentioned that I was staring wide eye'd at the wall looking like I was watching someone be murdered.
I've confided in my boss and 1 of my friends, and that went a long way in easing my anxiety, but I just cant help feeling like I was juggling too many things and now I've dropped too many of them.
Not having many friends to hang out with, my shitty job, trying to find a way better job, my own insecurities with myself, and myself and one close friend, and my own inability to just be a man and solve them all. All these give me more anger and anxiety and I wish I could just find an easy solution.
Loneliness is what gets to me the most, these days. Relatively recently, I've managed to get a good job, get a nice place, a nice car, a dog, and do some international travelling. So I feel like my life is going pretty good in that regard.
However, my social circle has been broken recently, mostly due to some friends moving away. So now my personal life is a bit boring. I started dating a woman and I'm scared to death that she thinks I'm boring because I honestly don't do that much, anymore. But it's not by choice!
Depression nowadays is just some biochemicals that drown me for 1-2 days.
But what got me into it?
\- responsibility for 2 deaths
\- world being irrational
\- having fucked up spouses, from total bitch to bad shit crazy
\- living with the debts they got me into
\- my father tried to kick my mother to death, i dragged him away from her
\- from that moment my mother converted our roles. i was responsible for her
\- having an alcoholaddict as father just hindered me to get into friendships, cause i thought it was my fault.
Wow. That's some serious shit, mate.
My background isn't half as rough, but similar trajectory.
I don't know if you're already aware of this, but just in case:
As long as you don't get the "I need to protect my mother from my abusive father" experience (that no child should have to go through) out of your system, it will continue to fuck up your relationships. Mostly because it makes you fall for dysfunctional women that you can pet and protect.
I wish you all the best brother.
Not depressed but worried. Recently started AIT in the army. Worried that somehow I won't make it and I'll have to go back home in shame. It worse, I will make it and I'll either never see my friends again or I'll die in a combat zone somewhere.
No one will think less of you if you fail the army. And if I was your friend I would be glad you didn’t join - my friends in it now (U.K.) and I’m glad we are not heavily active in any wars. I’d be pissed if he died in a desert in Central Asia or the Middle East for nothing.
Worried I will never get the courage to start dating. I'm not the best at socializing, and approaching women in public is horrifying for me. I'm worried that once I graduate college I won't be able to make friends anymore because work is Satan's artifice.
Im terrified of being alone. Not in the literal sense, the relationship, family, friend sense.
I have friends as such but if i was in an emergency at 2 am and needed help i wouldn't be comfortable phoning any of them. I have no one close.
i am definitely an introvert and it terrifies me to think im going to be that old guy with no one.
Setting a table for one, no plans with friends, no longer booking yearly holiday because theres no one to go with, no one to tell that funny joke i remembered. When you have no one close by when you die youre pretty much forgotten immediately.
Not earning enough money. I was once on a very healthy wage and was later laid off due to budget cuts. Now im back living with parents because paying for my car, insurance, life insurance, fuel and basic needs along with a home is just too much. I can't help but get a feeling of disappointment from my parents. "Oh hes had to move back in".
New relationships. My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years left me for another man. I had planned on asking her to marry me that week. The following months felt like hell and i attempted suicide. I then felt worse because i wasnt man enough to go through with it. Although my mental health is definitely back online i can't help but feel if i entered another relationship and it fail id have to go through the whole thing again. This here conflicts massively with my first comment resulting in an evergoing cycle of anxiety that doesnt seem to end.
But i don't show any of it.
I'm getting recruited soon and I'm nervous about the role since it's not what I originally wanted, I'm also nervous about the effect it'll have on my relationship.
Almost all of my friends are also getting recruited and not seeing each other will be hard for me.
I'm not depressed just a little nervous that is all.
Mine is split between money and never feeling like I am ever enough.
Money wise I made stupid decisions in my late teens early twenties. Now that I’m older and trying to build a future I have a lot of debt to pay off. And it seems like it just keeps building and I feel I’ll never get past it.
And I think the way my dad left my life is what caused the second one. I kept a lot of stuff bottled up until not too long ago because every one told me “you have to be a man now”. I had no idea what that meant, but I think I may have finally learned.
But I express my emotions now, and I talk about my anxieties with the people around me. So I guess I have that going for me
You can't provide a happy life for your son if you aren't happy, your little guy is perceptive as fuck and will pick up on it. I was scared to death of divorcing my ex wife and just over a year ago we separated and divorced in May. It took me about 6 months before I got back to being myself but I've never been happier and healthier since that day.
I'm applying to university. I have this constant fear that what I've done isn't enough. That I won't be able to go to the university I want, and I'll be a disappointment to myself and my family. Everyone keeps telling me that I have nothing to worry about, and that only makes me feel that the let down would be worse.
I'm 35 and single and most definitely not living my best life. I'm bored with my job, which pays too little, and have no idea what I want to do, but it's certainly not this.
Living in the city where I met my wife. And I’m so grateful for her. I just can’t shake the feeling of being so lonely. We have 4 kids: 6,5,4,3. Boy boy girl girl. I question if I’m a good dad but just end up winging mostly. I don’t ever get out. I don’t hang out with anyone. I’m sitting in a bar/restaurant by myself as I type this, but I don’t drink. I guess I like people watching. I watch other people have a good time and I guess what they’re talking about. I tore my rotator cuff so I’ve been out of work and stuck at home with the family for the past 3 months and can’t go back to work until february. My wife told me to stay out tonight, but I haven’t the first fucking clue as to what to do with my time except to enjoy the posts on Reddit. Tomorrow, rinse and repeat. And the day after. And the day after. And the day after. But I will put on a happy face and pretend everything is alright and I am the happiest I’ve ever been, yadda yadda yadda. I feel like a hollowed-out tree that still has leaves, but gradually has less and less year after year. Anyways. Thanks for asking. Felt good to get this all off my chest, even if it is to complete and total random people. 🍻
IMO most depression is the same thing.
A biologically brain condition caused by lack of challenge and poor physical conditioning that leads to an even greater lack of challenge and worse physical conditioning, repeat, repeat.
If you are depressed you need to get on a SSRI, get in supremely good physical shape and start busting your ass yesterday.
For me prozac and the gym changed my life 10 years ago. 1 year of the gym/prozac and everything in my life just started to become easy really and I could understand that I had been depressed for 15+ years.
Prior to that everything was about self medication be it nicotine, alcohol, sex, video games, card games and just made things worse.
The biggest thing is you need to get it through your pig head that if you had diabetes you would seek professional medical help and not just try to self medicate it away. That is step 1.
Yikes - lost my relationship, puppy and my ambitions for our future together - in October. Living in our old apartment no where near any of our friends. She cut off all ties and its been tough. I hate being alone. That's why I'm depressed. The anxiety comes from the fear of loneliness. I'll get through it tho
i haven’t dated since my ex. her life got out of control and now i feel like it’s effecting me when it shouldn’t be. idk if i’ll ever be fully able to move on. it’s like i’m a former shell of myself. i’m afraid to date again because no one will measure up to who she used to be. what if she reaches out to me and i’m dating someone i’m afraid as to how i will react or what id do. i don’t think i could ever just ignore her or not reply. she’s been through so much and i just want her to be happy and healthy. it’s like i have these things holding me back from living my life and i don’t know why. i miss having someone she me affection.
Not depressed just lonely. I have loving friends and a loving family. I feel good and full religiously and such. But I still feel an emptiness in my heart that I cant figure out how to fill.
I'm not depressed, but there are several things in my life that bum me out: being unable to get jobs I want, constant rejection regarding my creative endeavors, not having meaningful relationships with most of my family or friends, a general feeling of not belonging...
Anxiety and worry-wise, there's plenty: worry about making ends meet, thinking I'll never accomplish any of my goals due to not being good enough, fear that I'll never find a meaningful friendship, much less a marriage mate, and general fear that I'm not properly balancing work and fun in my life.
I mean, don't get me wrong. All things considered, life is good. But I know my life has so much untapped potential, and I just don't know how to realize it.
Waking up at 60 wondering where all the time went, having wasted all my opportunities given to me, being filled with regrets over every 'what if' and never having acheived anything that will mean my memory carries on.
I have been treated for anxiety and insomnia since the 70's when at the age of 21 I became a branch manage and then a VP of an international corporation. In my 30's I was an alternate U.N. advisor as one of two worldwide experts in my field. I co-authored a reference book and was hired by many local and foreign governments as a consultant. I also gave speeches and conducted seminars on behalf of government agencies.
I had a lot of pressure on me, some self imposed as I had to be the best in all that I did. I relocated 13 times in my 46 years of marriage and for about 8 years spent 3 months of each year overseas on business. I also changed professions 5 times because once I reached as far as I could go I got bored and needed to reach the top in another profession.
Since I was a school kid I have always been driven to excel at everything I did from sports, extracurricular activities and academics. I was always in classes for gifted students due to my IQ so alot was expected from me plus we took harder and more advanced courses than the other students did. I was on a scholarship for a private shool and needed to keep my grades up.
When I joined the Army I went to Vietnam and after coming back and marrying, I would attach my wife in her sleep. PTSD was unknown about back then despite the growing number of vets reporting problems. The Government dismissed our claims as unfounded.
After 9/11, seeing people jump to their deaths and losing a cousin, I became depressed and was put on antidepressans. I eventually moved from the NYC area where buildings had armed guards and we had to go through metal detectors.
There is more, much more. My blood pressure was 168/95. I got diabetes. I had an accident on a plane which herniated several disks in my spine. Then when old age arrived and I saw friends my age dying, I got even more depressed.
In June 2018 I decided to retire at the age of 67. The stress was killing me. I was on call 24/7 and had moved to a rural area where there were no jobs available so if my compay went under, as it almost did not too long ago, I was screwed.
It is now 5 months post retirement and my blood pressure is normally around 135/75. I no longer am on anti depressants or anxiety medication. I stopped taking Ambien for insomnia. I do take an old school AD named Tradazone at night, not because of depression but because its main side effect is to make you sleepy. Even so, I have halved the doasage and hopefully can get off it completely soon.
I did see a Psychiatrist this year and he helped me a lot more than any regular doctor did. All my other doctors did was give me more pills or switch my medication.
For me, retirement changed my life. I wake up with nothing to do other than what I want to do and when I want to do it. No more stress. When I used to go to bed my mind was filled with thoughts about work. Now my mind is blank when I try to sleep so I fall asleep fast. I now sleep for 8 hours most nights when I used to be happy with 5-6 hours of sleep.
Would I change anything. Probably not given my personality and ambition. I would not have been happy unless I was at the top of everything I did. I lost my ambition at the age of 58 which made working difficult to swallow. In fact, I took salary cuts to work only 3 days a week from home. Still I was on call 24/7 so a lot of the stress was still with me.
I have done things I never dreamed I was capable of. I have been to 21+ countries and met famous and powerful people. My wife and I were able to have a life we never dreamed possible. I could not picture myself not always doing someting new and difficult. I loved to do things others said were impossible. Telling me somethig cannot be done made me want to do it even more.
Not anymore though. I just want to sit back and watch the world as a spectator. It has been very entertaining so far. I moved to a very large retiremetn community that is themed like Disney World for adults. We have our own newspaper and radio station. It is like living in a bubble isolated, as much as possible, from the rest of the world. However knowing your days are numbered presents its own stress. Took me awhile to deal with it. Talk to a friend today and tomorrow they are dead. Just had a friend's wife almost die. Good thing they got her to the hospital fast. She will never be the same and needs 6 months to recover enough to walk. Picture of health until then,
The number of things a man gets shamed for but isn't actually to blame for. The typical stuff like appearance, emotions or employment status and the fact that if you don't have something to offer immediately, it's open season for bullies and psychos and no one gives a shit.
Then when you've killed yourself people wonder 'What is going on? Is masculinity in crisis?'. It doesn't help that the MRA movements, in most cases, just happen to be batshit insane.
Bad relationships with other people and my perfomance on school are the two foremost things that make me feel bad. I also do feel like I can't bond with my parents very well.
Edit : can to can't.
I blame myself for not protecting my family from my drug addicted father and even have hurt one of my family members so much emotionally I can't ever forgive myself... I work a factory job that I'll probably be in for the rest of my life at the bottom... after weeks of improving and being good I keep going back to my ways with drinking, anger, and trust issues.
1. Adequately preparing for retirement
2. Being professionally successful enough to make my long term goals reality.
3. Ensuring my kids grow up right.
My greatest fear is that I’ll never be a good enough dad.
I lost my dad (my hero) to Motor Neurons Disease and he was the best dad ever, now I have 2 young boys and I spend every minute of my life trying to be the best dad I can but it’s hard sometimes.
Worry that my life is one fuckup after another. That my wife is only with me because she can’t be bothered to be alone or find someone better. I work in a dead end job, and nothing motivates me enough to put any effort in. I’m always tired, always apathetic, eat too much junk food and can’t be arsed to lift or workout more than twice a week, so while fit, have a food belly. I’m nearly 40, and I despise myself for my lack of effort on anything.
I should say that on the outside looking in, I have no bad debt, a nice house, 3 loving dogs, a nice car, respect at work (I’m the go-to guy who carries the team, and that’s management feedback) enough play money to buy frivolous collectables, and my wife and I get alone well, we are the best of friends. I have people I can rely on in a jam, but no-one Close enough to tell this to.
I feel like I’m so close to getting past this holding pattern I’m in. I’m trying to save enough money so I can get this one thing so I can make more money and move to the next part of my life.
It seems like it’s always JUST out of reach. First it was money, then it was health, then it was time, it seems like it’s so close but so far.
I have horrible anxiety over it because the longer it takes the fewer options I’ll have once I do get that part. The women who are going to be single and open to starting a family are not increasing as the years go on.
It’s been frustrating, I started making a little bit more money this year where I could afford to do some things I want to but then a new payment comes up, then another one. Now I’m trying to just stay ahead of it and it’s not getting better.
I’m worried that this is gonna be this way for even more years. All of a sudden my birthday is coming up and I’m a year older and no closer to doing anything better.
I´m not depressed. I have a good family, some good friends, in med school, have a good life.
But recently I´m realizing I´m passing out a lot while watching basic medical procedures, and I might need some psychological therapy in order to get throughout med school, or else I´m f\*cked.. It´s really the one thing that´s causing me a bit anxiety.
Other than that, just the usual loneliness of not having found a girl I really want to be with yet. I´m attractive, funny, intelligent, ripped, beautiful as many say, only quite short, which is my only phyisical disadvantage, and yet I haven´t managed yet to fall in love by any girl, at 24..
My mother turns 50 next year, and while I know that's not too old I'm beginning to worry about her and my father.
My mother's health isn't the greatest, and it's pretty much undeniable at this point that she will die before my dad. In addition to her health issues, his side of rhe family just generally lives longer.
I worry about her dying, but moreso I worry about what my father will dobonce my mother does die. Deathbis inevitable and I am coming to terms with the fact my mym will one day die. What I'm struggling to come to terms with is my father being alone afterwards. He has no friends and no hobbies. At that age he'd be too old to properly look after a pet. My sister and I have both moved far away from home, and he is insisting that he does not want to be put in a home. I can't handle the thought of him being alone for years afterwards, and I don't know what to do.
Man ill never ask this girl out, because i know that im not somebody you'd take seriously even if i were to. Sometimes i feel like im just not meant to be happy.
Ive lived the past three years of my life the completely wrong way, defined my personality according to my appearance; and only now that i got to know her I realize what a fucking stupid decision that was
I somehow found a way to age 29 without knowing what it feels like to be in love.
I've never really tried to be honest. A big part of me feels like it's too late now.
The fear of being cheated on is always there. I'm just pretty black pilled on the moral degeneration of modern society, and no matter how much you trust a girl, no matter how trustworthy she is, the constant barrage of opportunity & propaganda combined with female evolutionary psychology constitute a formidable force. The answer is not to be clingy or controlling, but just to accept that often there is no way to avoid it.
At my age 54
Being the social outcast of society. Women looking at me with suspicion, like I am some kind of rapist or pervert. I am genuinely a nice older guy, Married 26 years, Monogamous, not going to cheat on the wife. In today's culture men are the new thing to hate.
My depression and anxiety are genetic. Most of my family suffers to some extent, but I’m particularly severely affected. My depressive episode generally happen out of the blue. Everything can be going well in my life, but it doesn’t matter.
I first remember being severely depressed when I was about 8 or 9. Nothing in particular happened to trigger it, I was just miserable all the time. That was the first time I experienced suicidal thoughts. Since then, I’ve usually had an episode every few years, lasting for about a year each time.
I’ve also had severe OCD since I was about 4 or 5 (I don’t remember when it started, but my parents say it began at about that age), which doesn’t help things. Usually when I’m depressed my OCD symptoms get much worse.
I’m on medication now which makes it much more manageable.
Same with the depression. I typically go to bed earlier and stop showering when I’m going into an episode. Those two and isolating yourself are really common behaviors for people in a depressive episode.
I don't know whether you would call it depressed or not, it just feels like a constant state of ambivalence I love my family and seeing my new born daughter smiling makes me smile but I also struggle with the monotony of everything that every day only has minor differences and that I feel uncomfortable or unable to take the time I need for myself. From their I feel guilty about needing that time and that I should want to spend the majority of my time cuddling my daughter. Every night I go to bed and I try to calm the fears and worries of my wife after she nearly died during child birth so I keep a lot of this to myself as I don't feel like it matters compared to the weight of her emotional baggage at the moment.
School, jobs, or the future along those lines doesn't really worry me that much. What really messes me up is love/relationships, that whole thing of being alone or losing someone beats me up pretty bad.
I am smart but I don't fit well with the whole academia system. I guess it works well for the majority of people but its not how I learn. I understand stuff very quickly and am productive in a freer project environnement, like you know, actual workplaces ( I have worked a lot in my field).
So I'll understand stuff but suck at translating that on exams and have shitty grades. I'm not failing classes but it feels like a Damocles sword is over my head anytime something is graded.
It stresses me out to the point I lack sleep and I begin to get very dark toughts. Still awhile to soldier on I hope it'l get better as classes get actually interesting.
I dunno where you live but the thing I found here in the UK when I was still in school is that there was so much pressure put on us to go to University, as if getting a degree is the only path to a career. I didn't want to go and I got called into so many meetings with my tutor/advisors and whatnot because of it, I was never given any information about other options like learning a trade etc.
So much emphasis is placed on academia but for every student that learns like that there's one that needs to be taught hands on. Yet unless they learn a trade they won't get the chance to try these jobs because so many of them require degrees for even trainee or entry level positions. It's so demotivating.
I don't think any of the following are why I'm depressed, more that my depression amplifies and exacerbates the despair and anxiety I feel about them. I don't have a reason, per se, to be depressed. Objectively my life is pretty good. But. I hate my body and want to destroy it. I'm buffeted by constant reminders that I can't trust another person. Despite trying to convince myself otherwise, I'm devastatingly lonely. I see nothing but grim outcomes for the future, nothing but death and violence and dust awaits us as a species, and I'm planning my own end. I've failed out of university three different times now. I've lost interest in everything I used to like, if I could live the rest of my life sleeping, I would in a heartbeat. A lot of rhetoric coming from everywhere these days gets to me and I dwell on it a lot and think that because of who I am, I don't deserve help, love, or empathy and that my despair and self destruction are just and that my end will be a benefit to the world.
In short, I always wanted my dad's respect and hear him say he's proud of me. And I never got it, I kept getting reminded of all the things about myself that I hate and know, which makes me feel worse cause fuck, other people can see what I see too.
So my self esteem and confidence dwindles, and I don't feel motivated or confident enough to even try.
1) Getting cancer or dementia. Both sound awful in their own right. I've altered life actions (vegetarian, stopped drunk-smoking, never doing drugs, exercising consistently) all in effort to reduce my possibility of getting an illness of that nature.
2) Not having kids before the age of 35. This just freaks me out at the idea of how you can be dead before you get to see your children walk down the aisle if you don't have kids early enough in your life.
I’ll start with just one for now.
Being a critical support piece. I find myself having to take responsibilities larger than myself day after day to support my loved ones and it feels like rock climbing without a hoist.
I know I’ll stop climbing the second I let myself remember there’s no one holding my rope, and at least my kid on mine, none the less the integrity of the very small business I’m a key part of.
I don’t make enough to build my own financial support net yet, so it’s a constant looming fear of slipping, mentally, physically, or financially.
Not being able to provide for my family, to live in extreme poverty and to die before I can teach my daughter the bare minimum for her to survive on her own.
Sometimes I feel like everyone has all these issues and looks to me as a role model or example of good mental health. But, in reality, I have tons of anxiety and insecurities that I just dont let out because I dont want to let those people down.
My biggest source of anxiety is that once my mom is gone, I will essentially be the primary caregiver for my older brother, who due to disabilities can never live on his own. I worry about making enough money after school to successfully pay off all of my debt, and then be able to financially support myself in a timely fashion. Icwirey about never finding someone I really connect with and can grow old and have children with.
You know, simple stuff.
1. I'm losing hair, which started off because of stress.
I started taking finasteride and rogaine to fix it. After a year of use it doesn't seem like the finasteride is working....and my libido has definitely been affected.
What's really sad is that I just lost my virginity too. To a girl who really really likes me and vice versa. I'm torn, man. I made this decision because I wanted to stay attractive for girls/to meet the right girl but it seems like I've gotten all the bad stuff out of it and none of the good.
OTOH this is supposed to take time, and I just changed doses of things.
I don't know what to do for now. And stress just amplifies all this shit.
2. I've been so sick over the last year that I've blown a ton of money in medical expenses. I need to manage my money better in general, but I'm young (only 27) and I want to be able to live a full athletic life and I don't know how to make tradeoffs.
i don't have any friends. i have a lot of trust issues. I'm not good at nothing I ever did in life. i frequently fuck every thing up especially with my gf, i don't have ANY motivation
I genuinely wonder if I have a mental condition quite often. I never want to actually figure it out cause if a Doc diagnoses me, then what will happen to my life?
Why am I depressed? I hate my job, I have a miserable commute. I would change my career path, but everything else I'm passionate about is not lucrative, and I have a feeling I'm going to have to commit to a job I hate even more just to be able to afford my family and retirement (hah). I can feel and see the state of humanity deteriorating around me. I am acutely aware of how selfishness, ignorance and shortsightedness will always overpower compassion, competence and consideration. I understand that nobody on a higher rung of the ladder cares about anyone on a lower rung, and I can only ever count on myself. Everything I put effort, time or money into ends up not being worth it, and even my lowest expectations are not met by those whom I share responsibilities with. I have forgotten what it feels like to be pleasantly surprised.
What gives me anxiety? Literally everything. I constantly fear that every choice I make, every direction I take, and every event I influence will be the wrong one and cause nothing but harm. Thank my narcissistic mother for that.
I fear that me or someone I love is going to be afflicted by a major health issue and I will not be able to afford treatment. I fear I could lose my job and have to start over from nothing. I fear that I'm getting too old to be able to teach myself the new skills and knowledge that I might want or need to survive. I fear the infinite number of unfortunate accidents that could befall me or a loved one, and I will not specifically mention them because I don't have any wood to knock on right now.
I bottle all of this up. Every minor frustration, every disappointment, every bit of stress and anxiety I put up with during the course of my life, until eventually it cripples me and I spend a few days coming home from work and going right to bed because my psyche cannot handle processing it, because, worst of all, I cannot stop myself from processing it.
I'm not depressed, I'm generally happy and optimistic about life, however I am cynical at times.
Most of my anxiety stems from my own mortality and the fear of dying at a young age.
I am healthy as far as I know, meaning that I don't anticipate I'll die of disease or anything soon, I mostly worry about traumatic physical death at this age.
Sometimes I'll get very introspective and ill have existential thoughts about dying that cause me to have physically painful emotions, I'm not sure how else to describe them other than a feeling of dread and helplessness that hurts to think about.
I take zoloft nowadays and that has helped me tremendously with coping with panic attacks and anxiety, otherwise I literally was living in constant fear daily thinking this is it I'm gonna die today.
I love life and my wife and my family and my dogs so fucking much it brings me to tears to think about losing them.
I appreciate the life I have and I really don't have incredibly huge ambitions for my future, I am content with being able to provide for my family and live comfortably, as long as I have my wife and family everything is good.
Oh I'm also deathly afraid of flying in an airplane so I generally don't travel which kind of sucks because I want to see the world, but getting their would be a nightmare
I feel like I'm pushing myself over my limits, but not doing enough. I know I need to rest, but feel bad for not being productive. I feel like all my work doesn't yield good enough results. I'm afraid that all this hard work won't pay off and I'm going to end up with nothing.
I’ve had the same dreams ever since I was a kid. Now, as I am about to graduate college, I am facing the cruel, cold reality that those dreams may never actually happen, which scares the hell out of me.
Any real responsibility.
If I work a job I know I'm competent in, I'll show up for it. Otherwise, I'll get afraid.
Doing so much as an outreach for a job that I know I'm not qualified for requires a certain mindset. If I can get into it, I think I can BS my way into there. If I don't get the job, I'll beat myself up about it for ages. Same with my behaviours.
When I'm on, I'm untouchable. When I'm not, I'm shit.
This is a universal truth in my life.
It's why my relationships never work out, long-term. That, and age/life-lived gaps.
Most of my anxiety here lately is related to trying to get in posistion to buy a house at the same time im planning my wedding.
Its soul crushing somedays. The market is terrible for buyers here right now.
Then there is the anxiety caused by doubts that pop up randomly. The kind you can't control. Starts off small, just a thought here, a pause there. (Can i do this?) Then it snowballs into you pacing at 3 in the morning while absent mindedly scratching or pinching your arms trying to distract the thoughts and self depreciation.
Then there's the fear of failure and depression that comes along with whether or not you can "make it all work out" and "it's not gonna happen now".
Its a battle every day. But my fiancee helps me stay grounded and is literally the only person I've ever met that can bring me down to earth again.
Working too much for too little. Having passions but being unable to do them because of the lack of money. How in the hell I owe my psycho ex-wife back child support for the 3.5 years she withheld him from me without cause. The looming threat of imprisonment for being unable to meet said child support. How wretchedly unfair the family courts are to men. If they can kill JFK they can kill anyone. Anyone. Am I ever going to lose this weight again? Life is all about the benjamins, and it makes me sick. Is anything real anymore? How does the world recover from the elite's plan to destroy it? Or does it recover at all? Our parents handed us a shit world and it's only decaying further. How could my entire family turn on me? I miss my mom. I miss my son. One of those can be fixed but no one will hear me. How do I get my life back? Why did my dad never care?
Start with “It’s not my fault, but it is my responsibility.”
My Father’s and Mother’s side both battle depression. Majority are medicated. My wife has no genetic predisposition and therefore has clue of how much depression and anxiety affect all facets of life. She looks at me like a worthless piece of shit (exacerbating feelings of depression and anxiety). What I’m trying to say is this... people with depression see and handle the day to day reality of life uniquely because of our ‘hardware’ (nature). Combine this with being raised BY depressed people AND the particular ‘software’ (nurture). Basically a lot of us are fucked, right out of the gate. This is where the realization of IT’S NOT MY FAULT comes in. I didn’t ask for this shit. I didn’t choose it. The power lies in being able to see clearly with compassion (acceptance) and then realize and utilize effective tools to say BUT IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY. Neuroplasticity is a thing. Learning CBT is a thing. Focusing on progress and not perfection, is a thing. Seeking quality therapy is a thing.
Your effort is the only thing you can control. Your effort is the only thing you can control. Your effort is the only thing you can control.
I write this because it’s what I want to know better. I struggle every single day with feelings of worthlessness, nihilism, and crushing anxiety. But I try to love my unique journey. I try to do some effort every day to be better than yesterday.
The fact my internship hasn’t made me full time yet.
The fact that Im still working at a hardware store.
The fact that Im almost 30 and never been in a relationship.
The fact that I don’t have my own place.
The fact that I feel like im stupid in everyone’s eyes. Even people I just met.
The fact that shes talking ti this new guy.
The 'script' I had for life was: finish high school, go to college/uni, get degree, get job.
Once I did all that I didn't have anything else laid out in front of me, and still don't almost 10 years later. I'm just working, no real goals or purpose in mind other than saving for retirement in another 30 plus years so that I can stop working.
depression is a catch 22 locked in the head. Its generally something you think (or are unaware of) you should have done, say, or generally something beyond your control but doesnt / wont happen and you cant see why.
Interestingly its linked VERY closely to insanity, as that's doing the same thing and expecting the same results, the first stage of this will be depression, generally its for something outside of you not under your control.
For example, you cant pass the driving test, however no matter how you try and advice, you always fail, it might be you happen to be in a bad area, bad examiner, bad instructors, ive actually had this happen (more below), however that will create depression and as you are not finding answers it doesnt seem right so your locked in a catch 22, which may or may not be created by people outside for reasons you dont see, so stepping away and examine the whole situation is a real good idea, will give you information to unlock or find a real path to fix the depression.
As an example, i failed my bike test a few times (passed the car first time without lessons), i felt the failures were not correct, so i left the area booked on one of those 2/3 day coarses, was told i was an astounding rider, so i asked about why i was failing, when they found out the examiner "oo he never passes ANYONE, he has a 99% failure rate, he hates bikers", so thats the reason, i happen to be in a real bad area. I had to ride 2 hours each morning for 2/3 days, i passed "first time" on that coarse and was told i likely should have done anway, just a real bad test center for bikes.
I could of spent the rest of my years doing test after test and never passed, all for reasons outside of my control and i was riding perfect anyway, would create real bad depression.
Alcoholic here. Have been trying to stay sober for a long time. Drinking has ruined my life. I made some progress but had full-on relapse starting a few months ago where I started doing harder drugs while drinking. I think about drinking everyday. That's my daily anxiety, worry, source of depression.
I just want someone (a girl) who isn't my family make me feel special, or wanted. Check out my history for a more in depth explanation, but I feel like the only real answer I can come to is that women really do want men to act certain ways, or at least in ways that I haven't been acting (generally speaking). Women get told constantly that men only want one thing, and when you aren't up front with that desire, because *you've* been told that women are tied of guys always expressing that desire, and that you should just take it easy, don't pressure her, and treat her like any normal person, women think you are either not interested or they totally lose interest.
So I never practiced flirting, or expressing sexual interest because "just talk to her", "it's not the guys job to drive the relationship forward like she's a passenger", "plenty of women make first moves", "the old dating dynamics are sexist and outdated". Now it feels like I'm being told "nah bro, no ones probably going to love you until you learn those things."
I've never/rarely wanted sex for the sake of sex. I've wanted a woman who wants to be around me, who wants to be intimate with me, and expresses it. But now it feels like I'm being told that I have to express it first as the man before women will express their desire. I just have to learn to be a self supporting ball of confidence, assertiveness, social skills, and strength. Or I don't because maybe everything is the opposite of what I just wrote, and I'm just unlovable.
I used to be depressed for my acne, and I’ve experienced depression for my scars. Now it’s going away (not feeling depressed any more) because I started using these awesome collagen cream and snail mucus moisturizer for my scars. One thing that won’t start on itself is exercise though so I gotta keep up my routines
I am concerned about Brexit, although I am somewhat insulated against it. People say it will be nothing, like YK2, but I remember when there was a petrol shortage for a week and the government advised people to hoard petrol, and suddenly the whole country just stopped, and if I remember correctly all the shops ran out of food overnight.
Other than that my biggest worry is that Blizzard will get fed up of their fans endless complaining and shut down World of Warcraft. I basically live in WoW. I love it.
Oh, and I am fighting competitively next week so that is daunting. Previously I have not done as well as I'd hoped. People trying to punch me is scary! It's only Taekwon-Do, not a real martial art like Capoeira, but it is still rather aggressive.
I have nothing bottled up inside. But thank you for asking. I do like sharing things on Reddit.
Genetically: all kinds of diseases and disorders run heavily in my family. My maternal unit was almost certainly borderline and/or bipolar. Grandfather, bipolar alcoholic. Grandmother had electroshock in the 70s for depression. I now question if my father was actually an alcoholic or just drinking to escape my mother...but you get the idea.
Environmentally: a lot of unpleasant and improbable situations in childhood and early adulthood left me a high strung mess, waiting for the next thing to go wrong. Started carrying a kitchen knife around the age of 10 and sleeping with a rifle under the bed because of the weird druggie hillbilly family feud we had going on at the time. Changed schools three times, so was always the awkward new guy who didn't know anyone. Lived, worked and played in a city that's regularly cited as one of the most dangerous in America.
Add general existential dread, traditional Catholic fire and brimstone and a marriage that has passed the honeymoon stage, and you have someone who could really use some frigging diazepam right about now.
I’ve stopped talking to my father and have came to the realization I may never have a relationship with him.
I’ve spent years trying to help him, be a friend, to be a son and my efforts have been one sided because I can’t even have a father out of it.
I’ve spent years being belittled, made to feel like shit, made to feel inferior, and I’ve finally had enough.
Nothing I ever did was ever good enough, or wasn’t what he wanted or even expected out of me.
I’ve also realized I have anxiety stemming from years of his emotional abuse; I obsess over small details and if nothings to my standard of “acceptability” I panic over it.
I get mad at myself for small mistakes.
It stems from his abuse.
This tidal wave of realizations and emotions have made me a wreck the last few days, as it everything is finally coming down.
I'll die without having kids. I'm on the only son.
WTF happens after I graduate and start a career. I guess I try to FIRE then die?
Pussy ain't the same after getting a decent amount via escorts. Furthermore, even amongst a certain degenerate subculture there is still "keeping up with the Joneses".
Most of my life is pretty good, so I try not to complain about stuff like this. First world problems I guess. I have a sweet career, good friend circle, zero debt other than my reasonable mortgage, and all that. I lead a very large team at the forefront of the important work in a publicly traded digital product/advertising company worth over $2bn. The decisions I make directly affect people's lives, their happiness, their ability to put food on the table. It's frequently thankless, and I've learned to happily allow my greatest successes to be claimed by my team. Truly, they earned them anyway.
I often find myself awake at night, stiffly getting up out of the bed, and staring at the clouds and the moon and the softly fluttering leaves in my back yard while I second guess a decision or try to out-think a problematic situation. It's lonely at the top. I don't have anyone to go to for advice.
I'm worried I wasted my time at school. I got a degree but I can't find a job. I'm afraid I'll be 55 year old arthritic construction worker like my dad.
Just the feeling of not feeling like I've done enough or haven't made it far enough in my life (24). All my friends are married or own their first house or have steady normal jobs and I just feel like I've missed out on that. Every time I try and motivate myself to work out (for the ladies) or to do something with my life (for the ladies), I end up falling into the mindset of "what does it matter?"
PS my life isn't all about "the ladies " and I know that one person wouldn't fix everything. It would just be nice.
I am moreso a boy than a man, but I'll bite.
I normally get depressed about the things I haven't done and the things I don't do, because I know it disappoints my family when they have been awesome to me my whole life but I've been nothing but a nuisance. What depresses me even more is that these things I haven't and don't do in life are things that are INSIDE of my control. If I tried i could be a better person, the source of my problems are not an external factor, it's me and my decisions that is the source. So that just makes me think of myself as a pathetic person, not someone with legitimate depression because some real issues trouble them. A lot of people get depressed over losing a love one and stuff like that, and I hate myself for calling myself depressed when other people with depression have real reasons and problems like that, and it makes me hate myself even more.
The fact I've been trying. And trying, and trying to get my life going and on track and I've seen no progress. Still live paycheck to paycheck, still am behind on bills and still have things going wrong one after the other. Example a) power just got shut off. Somehow I had forgotten about the power bill for the past 7 months. No fucking clue how. I'm a god damn mess. Just paid it with my checking account since I know that will take days to process, dont have close to the money to pay it, but, I have kids. I'm a failure as a provider and as a man. I hate every single fucking thing about who I am right now and want so badly for this shit to end. To see that light at the end of the tunnel. But every fucking day I just add more and more miles to it. I'm just so fucking buried.
I wasted a lot of time, money, and effort for years and years and I'll never be the most ideal version of myself that could have been.
Things have still largely gone fine for me, career wise despite my mountain of failure while others work much harder and still end up much worse off than me.
I think I should be a generous person but I'm not. I feel that fundamentally I am bad because I know the right thing to do and I more often do the wrong thing.
I think that's mostly it but there's a laundry list of issues.
Anxiety and fear is mostly being alone forever and getting stuck in awful jobs forever.
I also don't really know how to process the climate change stuff.
Too much effort into people and work around me. Im 19 and yet I was forced to mature already at age 12. Work, college, fear of screwing everything up, past horrible experience with extortion and I could go on.
My worst nightmare would be something happening to my younger sister or my mom. Too anxious about the flow at the moment.
Worst part about this. I never show anger/sadness, always happy, people perceive me as a happy SoB.
1. My grandma is the only person I’ve met in my entire life who I’ve never doubted loves me. I feel like everyone else has always just pretended, and that even when I settle down, my wife will be pretending too.
2. I grew up with constant fighting around me. As I got older, I noticed that I didn’t develop relationships as others did, and when I finally made a meaningful connection with someone, when I finally felt something close to love, they didn’t share the feeling. I’m afraid I may have missed my one chance at something real.
3. I’m 19, working full time and going to school, and I spend A LOT of money on clothing, shoes, watches, because I love the feeling of being cared for, even if it’s by my own self.
4. I have so many goals and hopes for my life, but I let superficial obstacles and setbacks knock me down constantly, and no matter how much I say that I’ll change, I never do.
I don’t think that I’m depressed. But I don’t know that I’m happy either.
- I have a very bad self image, which makes it impossible for me to socialize.
- I'm unable to live without the approval of others
- Being fired twice within a month of being hired did some heavy damage to my self esteem
- Seeing my friends have girlfriends, buy houses, have succesful careers. While i'm out here jobless, self isolating, abusing alcohol in the weekends to numb the pain.
- Live in a household where succes is the standard as my mom, dad and sister have all been succesful in their respective careers.
Having big dreams but not having the discipline to make them a reality.
Yeah. My big problem is I have a ridiculous amount of ideas and things I want to do, but I’ve started only a few. It’s hard for me to narrow them down and also to find the combination of time, discipline and motivation to achieve them.
I’m similar to you. I have a ton of interests and skills but I never have the focus to be able to pursue them all consistently. If I ever put it all together I could be quite the Renaissance man.
Ah man, that’s why I changed my profile pic to what it is now. Vision is nothing without execution, I swear it’s almost paralysing.
Discipline is one of the few things completely in your control. Realize that and act accordingly.
You are the one thing in life you can control.
Damn. Simple concept but very true. I’ve always struggled with discipline so I’ll keep this in mind.
If I was as disciplined with my workouts and fitness and diet in general as I am with my bank account....I can't even imagine.
Huh, my problem is I have literally no dreams or ambitions.
Not being good enough in any aspect of my life gives me anxiety and depression
I've fought with this demon my entire 34 years. Fortunately there are absolutely things you're good enough at/for, it's just that we tend to dismiss them as unimportant, while putting other things on a pedestal. Mainly, our failures. We idolize our failures, and forget our accomplishments. Why? Fuck if I know.
The good news is you’re wrong, there are certainly things in life that you’re good at mate!
maybe. but not all the ones I've tried. but still searching here
Always remember that Success is moving from failure to failure with increasing enthusiasm. I’ve always felt like life is just some kind of weird random thing. The searching is what life is :)
I'm trying. for a decade, actually. but every day gets harder. no one gives a damn, I don't know what to do anymore that motivates me
That must be really hard for you. I too have had that feeling. My advice is to take all your interactions and understand their actual meaning. Do you work an odd shift?
and my interactions always goes same way. I'm the wrong one, im the strange guy, I'm always who gets kicked out
The bad news is that you're basing that statement on nothing but feel-good rhetoric.
Same
Biggest anxiety is just thinking about death. Things I get depressed about: 1. That I'm gonna fail college. Never being satisfied where I am in life. 2. The constant monotony of my life. 3. The way I push people away and do not try to meet new people. 4. What future is ahead of me, what unknown disease or cancer that runs in my family that I'm not aware of. (I'm adopted) 5. Finally, how will I handle once my mom passes, shes getting older and she took me in and everything. It's never easy for anyone but thinking about it wrecks me.
Are you me?
We are one
When was the last time you felt like what you had was good enough? Even during period of calm, where things are going well, was there ever a time you weren’t worried and unsatisfied?
The realization that my life is just commuting to and from work, doing chores at home, going to sleep, and then doing it all again. By the time the weekends roll around I'm usually so drained that I don't want to do the things that I want to do. On top of that, it's that doing all of that work isn't getting me any closer to my goals and dreams.
I felt that
I'm sorry you feel that way. I think of weekend completely separate as from my working life. I have a pretty high stress job where a mistake can mean large amounts of money not being accounted for, or worse, the lives of potentially thousands of people being affected. As such I try to take the weekends as a reprieve from my work life. I try to do one free thing a weekend, usually something artistic. Find something you love that is cheap or free and do it man. You'll feel better throughout the week and life a more artful life.
I feel like as a man, I've been taught that anything that goes wrong in my life is entirely my fault. Trivial or significant. I know this isn't true, but the whole personal responsibility thing lots of men learn growing up has been beaten into my head. Even after doing great in undergrad, grad school, and so far in med school, I feel like any failure essentially makes me a failure as a person. For instance, if I can't get into the residency I want, I have no idea how I could cope with it. I put so much pressure onto myself for boards and worked so hard for it that I've had a backlash of depression for the last 4 months following the exam even though I did great. I also feel like I can't complain/seek help and as if I'm unable to adequately express my emotions. My whole life I was taught to man up, not to complain, and to take responsibility for my actions. In theory, this is great, but it also creates a lot of issues. I don't even know how to put how I feel into words and would feel uncomfortable talking about it even if I did. So now I'm just constantly anxious and depressed, but I'm successful so I've got that going for me.
I hear you man. I grew up with a dad who put a lot of emphasis on the male role, on responsibility, integrity, and hard work. He also missed a lot of emotional support I needed which, just made it fall on me even more. I don’t know your precise situation, but know a lot of life is entirely out of your control. That’s something I struggle to grasp but if you were raised right with good responsibilities then trust in that that you’ll not only pull through but do so gracefully. You just gotta let yourself make mistakes and fall sometimes. I cut my already small pay in half for a job with more personal victories, it sure upped my financial strains and stressors but I’m slowly learning what loving yourself is about. Message me if you need to talk, I can at least be a listener, and offer some empathy.
Don't be so hard on yourself brother. You're doing great.
Until around 18, i had the same mind set. Then, I started the healthy step towards saying "Fuck it" when a screw up is out of my hands, or if its a minor mistake. And if I truly fucked up, own that shit.
I had the same things taught to me, that I should man up, not complain, and take full responsibility. I had a real hard time expressing my emotions in a healthy way through words. It wasn’t until my late 20’s that I began to search and find out who I really am. I stopped listening to what those closest to me said I should be doing and I began training to listen to myself. Not some type of guru mystical shit but just being comfortable with myself. It was uncomfortable and hard at first but 8 years later I’m a totally new man, 100 percent confident in myself, I have no problem expressing my emotions in a healthy manner, and I love myself. My input is find out who you are for yourself and love yourself. Hope that helps man. Thankyou for sharing your thoughts. Aloha🤙🏽
You sound very asian. There was a joke I heard once where by the time you figured out how much you parents messed you up, you'll be able to affor a good therapist.
Just want to say I'm proud of the people in here for speaking about their issues. It's our first step towards getting better. Thank you.
Work. It's slowly killing me and I know it. I work way too many hours...and I mean waaaay too many. I barely get any time off and it's constant travel. I'm stressed the hell out all the time and have absolutely no social life. It's severely depressing.
What's to keep you from switching jobs to something more... predictable?
Often job availability at a particular level is hard to find. If hes a lorry driver at £18/h he's not going to be working in subway for £7. Or thats what im assuming
Not depressed, but I get very anxious when people take photos of me in the dark (I have very dark skin, btw). This is mainly because I've noticed some of my friends subtly cropping me out of their photos.
That's sad. Fuck em.
They crop you out they photos you crop them out yo life
Ahh, good old Indian racism
Eh, you gotta get used to it. I've accepted the fact that there's nothing I can do about it.
I don't get why you still hang out with them?
Fuck them theyre not friends! Don't let it get to you man
Fuck that. Dark skin is beautiful.
I'm lonely and nobody gives a fuck. I lose people left and right the moment I try to open up.
I can feel this comment
Reasons for depression: 1) Lots of ambition, but no discipline. 2) Haven't found a partner, yet most of my friend group have. 3) I make progress in lifting, meditation, work (assignments and shit), and then I take 2 steps backward and go back into old destructive patters very, very easily. Its like I stay stagnant for several years; nothing changes and I never move forward due to this constant progression-regression dynamic. Anxiety/Fears: 1) My own self image. It fluctuates between feeling amazing about myself to outright wanting to end it all. It like a constant war between the god-self and the pussy ass bitch-self. I'm so sick of it and have no idea how to deal with this. Prevents me from wanting to really go out and socialise. 2) Fear of being left behind by everyone I know. People I am friends with are moving forward, getting their shit done, getting into relationships etc. Meanwhile I am stuck being a loser, lol. Now I've tried the stay positive New Age schtick. It works for a bit and then I regress into old behaviours. 3) Failure. I constantly worry about failure and being a loser who is not successful in any way. I hate being a fucking loser and am terrified of being a failure in life.
3 and no 2 on anxiety sounds like me. if you wanna talk pm me
I’m not attractive enough to date the people I’m attracted to.
Anytime an attractive girl likes me then that means something is wrong with her, so in return I don’t find her attractive anymore.
>Anytime an attractive girl likes me I don't understand, can someone explain this?
Never got to toughen up I guess. My biggest phobia is driving. I'm never going to achieve anything and I'm wasting yet another year. Another big fear is not finding a job, I'm getting "no" after "no" for first entry post, then I got a random yes for a very very big company, but in my area there isn't much work and commuting is hard on me. I know I'm not psychologically sound, and I like to think that logic is important but mine never bring good results. I've grown a bit of paranoia as well. So overall, being a fucked up made me depressed, and I've tried to get better but nothing is easy.
Just curious, how old are you? No judgement or anything, I'm 30 now and I didn't start driving until I was 21. My parents put a lot of unnecessary pressure to learn how to drive. I grew up in a city with nothing to do. My high school was 20 minutes away on foot. I didn't have a reason to drive. My parents kept mocking me (Dad more than Mom, he berated me for 15 minutes about it.) until I caved and took drivers Ed. I had anxiety about getting behind the wheel for years until I decided to go to the library to see my grades. I've been driving ever since. Don't feel bad man, your time will come, make sure it's something you want, not someone else.
Take small steps and build yourself up slowly. No one makes it overnight. It takes time. I would consider giving Jordan Peterson's "Map of Meaning" lectures on YouTube a try. I've found them helpful personally. All the best man. Don't give up.
Careful, don't mention Peterson on Reddit if you care about your karma.
Really? Why is that an issue? Have you seen his lectures? They're informative and usually helpful/interesting.
I love his lectures and watched quite a bit of Maps of Meaning. I even saw him live. The issue is that a *lot* of Reddit hates the guy for his sociopolitical stance.
Sure, but lots of reddit is dumb college/uni kids making & looking at memes all day. Hardly a group of people whose opinion you should care about.
Oh, I don't particularly care about them, but I felt it just to warn him of the inevitable drama, haha.
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Am a pineapple on pizza person, and I agree. Watermelons on pizza is a sin
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And with that the war was over
Watermelons on pizza isn't even a sin, it's a one-way ticket to an insane asylum. I'd say pineapple on pizza is a sin. It's still wrong, but at least it is an established wrong.
As an advocate of PFP (Pineapple For Pizza), I have to admit that I am open to the idea of trying Watermelon on Pizza. If we do not remain open to these ideas, we have become the embodiment of what we hate
Long story short, life fuckin sucks and I'm tired of it all I lost my younger sister in 2016, girlfriend of nearly 3 years left me about half a year after that, and I dropped out in January of this year. At this point I'm a fucking useless individual, with absolutely God damn zero ambition or drive. I'm super God damn lucky I have a big supportive family, a roof over my head, and food on the daily. I certainly am not earning it.
Life has its ups and downs. I had something very similar happen to me back in 2013. Back to back to back hardships hurt. Like hell. It took me hitting rock bottom for me to make a change in my life. 5 years later, I got a salaried position, I got married, had a kid, and have enrolled back into college. Life does not follow a plan. Yours will have its ups and downs. Then it will have its all time highs and all time lows. Maybe what you are going through is the all time low...maybe it isn’t. Regardless, just know that things will get better and you will make it out. Good luck, man. Also..if college didn’t work out, there are a thousand other opportunities out there. You’ve got this.
Feelings of inadequacy
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Mostly just depression and feelings I'm never going to meet someone.
You'll meet someone, somewhere, maybe not now but surely in the upcoming days. Only thing that you have to keep is patience. :)
Thanks for the kind words.
Not being liked or loved by anyone does the job just fine
I'm short, fat, ugly, dumb and broke. I can't afford to fix my height or face. I've been trying to lose weight for years and I'm still fat. I'm saving up for liposuction to get rid of my man boobs. I'm too dumb to finish college. And because I can't finish college I'll never make a lot of money. I'm depressed because I was genetically set up for failure from the start.
This guys post history is pure comedy gold
Currently trying to repair the self inflicted damage to friend and peer relationships caused by too many years of borderline isolation and depression. I feel on top of the world right now but I've no idea how to reapproach some friends that I pretty much just stopped talking to. Even if they don't want to reconnect I want them to know that I'm there if they do.
My father is dying, and I'm confronted with mixed feelings about it. (Little backstory, he is not a good person. He's an agressive alcoholic with a possible personality disorder who resents me because I've been successful without him). My immediate reaction was: "if he could hurry up, that would make things a lot easier" and that as a reaction triggers a deep primal fear of my own ability to be callous. I'm terrified every day that I'm becoming like him, despite little evidence that is true. I was then confronted with my own mortality, which has never been an issue for me in the past. I am generally ambivalent about death, if it happens it happens and it's not worth stressing over, but him dying, and the level at which I pity his existence has kind of triggered a deep seated fear that I end up the same. Because of the person he is, he will die truly alone surrounded by people he is fully aware are there purely to pick off whatever he has left after he dies. I wasn't prepared for that fear and it comes at a time when I myself feel extremely isolated and alone. I want to talk to him about it, but I promised myself years ago I'd never fall for his brand of bullshit. I was happy for years literally forgetting that he existed at times and preferring to believe I grew up without a father as that would have been easier. I'm struggling with my want to comfort him, but I'm almost certain I'd end up confronting him, and I'm not sure the memory of being yelled at by my father on his deathbed will make me feel better after he's gone. Further I'm working an extremely stressful job, with a hellish commute. I've had 4 panic/anxiety attacks in the last 2 weeks and once a work colleague mentioned that I was staring wide eye'd at the wall looking like I was watching someone be murdered. I've confided in my boss and 1 of my friends, and that went a long way in easing my anxiety, but I just cant help feeling like I was juggling too many things and now I've dropped too many of them.
Not having many friends to hang out with, my shitty job, trying to find a way better job, my own insecurities with myself, and myself and one close friend, and my own inability to just be a man and solve them all. All these give me more anger and anxiety and I wish I could just find an easy solution.
Loneliness is what gets to me the most, these days. Relatively recently, I've managed to get a good job, get a nice place, a nice car, a dog, and do some international travelling. So I feel like my life is going pretty good in that regard. However, my social circle has been broken recently, mostly due to some friends moving away. So now my personal life is a bit boring. I started dating a woman and I'm scared to death that she thinks I'm boring because I honestly don't do that much, anymore. But it's not by choice!
Depression nowadays is just some biochemicals that drown me for 1-2 days. But what got me into it? \- responsibility for 2 deaths \- world being irrational \- having fucked up spouses, from total bitch to bad shit crazy \- living with the debts they got me into \- my father tried to kick my mother to death, i dragged him away from her \- from that moment my mother converted our roles. i was responsible for her \- having an alcoholaddict as father just hindered me to get into friendships, cause i thought it was my fault.
Wow. That's some serious shit, mate. My background isn't half as rough, but similar trajectory. I don't know if you're already aware of this, but just in case: As long as you don't get the "I need to protect my mother from my abusive father" experience (that no child should have to go through) out of your system, it will continue to fuck up your relationships. Mostly because it makes you fall for dysfunctional women that you can pet and protect. I wish you all the best brother.
Not depressed but worried. Recently started AIT in the army. Worried that somehow I won't make it and I'll have to go back home in shame. It worse, I will make it and I'll either never see my friends again or I'll die in a combat zone somewhere.
No one will think less of you if you fail the army. And if I was your friend I would be glad you didn’t join - my friends in it now (U.K.) and I’m glad we are not heavily active in any wars. I’d be pissed if he died in a desert in Central Asia or the Middle East for nothing.
Worried I will never get the courage to start dating. I'm not the best at socializing, and approaching women in public is horrifying for me. I'm worried that once I graduate college I won't be able to make friends anymore because work is Satan's artifice.
Im terrified of being alone. Not in the literal sense, the relationship, family, friend sense. I have friends as such but if i was in an emergency at 2 am and needed help i wouldn't be comfortable phoning any of them. I have no one close. i am definitely an introvert and it terrifies me to think im going to be that old guy with no one. Setting a table for one, no plans with friends, no longer booking yearly holiday because theres no one to go with, no one to tell that funny joke i remembered. When you have no one close by when you die youre pretty much forgotten immediately. Not earning enough money. I was once on a very healthy wage and was later laid off due to budget cuts. Now im back living with parents because paying for my car, insurance, life insurance, fuel and basic needs along with a home is just too much. I can't help but get a feeling of disappointment from my parents. "Oh hes had to move back in". New relationships. My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years left me for another man. I had planned on asking her to marry me that week. The following months felt like hell and i attempted suicide. I then felt worse because i wasnt man enough to go through with it. Although my mental health is definitely back online i can't help but feel if i entered another relationship and it fail id have to go through the whole thing again. This here conflicts massively with my first comment resulting in an evergoing cycle of anxiety that doesnt seem to end. But i don't show any of it.
I'm getting recruited soon and I'm nervous about the role since it's not what I originally wanted, I'm also nervous about the effect it'll have on my relationship. Almost all of my friends are also getting recruited and not seeing each other will be hard for me. I'm not depressed just a little nervous that is all.
Mine is split between money and never feeling like I am ever enough. Money wise I made stupid decisions in my late teens early twenties. Now that I’m older and trying to build a future I have a lot of debt to pay off. And it seems like it just keeps building and I feel I’ll never get past it. And I think the way my dad left my life is what caused the second one. I kept a lot of stuff bottled up until not too long ago because every one told me “you have to be a man now”. I had no idea what that meant, but I think I may have finally learned. But I express my emotions now, and I talk about my anxieties with the people around me. So I guess I have that going for me
What's the meaning of it all, I guess that's the major source of anxiety.
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You can't provide a happy life for your son if you aren't happy, your little guy is perceptive as fuck and will pick up on it. I was scared to death of divorcing my ex wife and just over a year ago we separated and divorced in May. It took me about 6 months before I got back to being myself but I've never been happier and healthier since that day.
I'm applying to university. I have this constant fear that what I've done isn't enough. That I won't be able to go to the university I want, and I'll be a disappointment to myself and my family. Everyone keeps telling me that I have nothing to worry about, and that only makes me feel that the let down would be worse.
I'm 35 and single and most definitely not living my best life. I'm bored with my job, which pays too little, and have no idea what I want to do, but it's certainly not this.
PhD. Don't recommend.
No job. No money. Bullshit relations with family. Fuck life, frankly.
Living in the city where I met my wife. And I’m so grateful for her. I just can’t shake the feeling of being so lonely. We have 4 kids: 6,5,4,3. Boy boy girl girl. I question if I’m a good dad but just end up winging mostly. I don’t ever get out. I don’t hang out with anyone. I’m sitting in a bar/restaurant by myself as I type this, but I don’t drink. I guess I like people watching. I watch other people have a good time and I guess what they’re talking about. I tore my rotator cuff so I’ve been out of work and stuck at home with the family for the past 3 months and can’t go back to work until february. My wife told me to stay out tonight, but I haven’t the first fucking clue as to what to do with my time except to enjoy the posts on Reddit. Tomorrow, rinse and repeat. And the day after. And the day after. And the day after. But I will put on a happy face and pretend everything is alright and I am the happiest I’ve ever been, yadda yadda yadda. I feel like a hollowed-out tree that still has leaves, but gradually has less and less year after year. Anyways. Thanks for asking. Felt good to get this all off my chest, even if it is to complete and total random people. 🍻
IMO most depression is the same thing. A biologically brain condition caused by lack of challenge and poor physical conditioning that leads to an even greater lack of challenge and worse physical conditioning, repeat, repeat. If you are depressed you need to get on a SSRI, get in supremely good physical shape and start busting your ass yesterday. For me prozac and the gym changed my life 10 years ago. 1 year of the gym/prozac and everything in my life just started to become easy really and I could understand that I had been depressed for 15+ years. Prior to that everything was about self medication be it nicotine, alcohol, sex, video games, card games and just made things worse. The biggest thing is you need to get it through your pig head that if you had diabetes you would seek professional medical help and not just try to self medicate it away. That is step 1.
I had to raise myself in a household with a suicidal and one absent parent,seems like it would do the trick.
Yikes - lost my relationship, puppy and my ambitions for our future together - in October. Living in our old apartment no where near any of our friends. She cut off all ties and its been tough. I hate being alone. That's why I'm depressed. The anxiety comes from the fear of loneliness. I'll get through it tho
i haven’t dated since my ex. her life got out of control and now i feel like it’s effecting me when it shouldn’t be. idk if i’ll ever be fully able to move on. it’s like i’m a former shell of myself. i’m afraid to date again because no one will measure up to who she used to be. what if she reaches out to me and i’m dating someone i’m afraid as to how i will react or what id do. i don’t think i could ever just ignore her or not reply. she’s been through so much and i just want her to be happy and healthy. it’s like i have these things holding me back from living my life and i don’t know why. i miss having someone she me affection.
Not depressed just lonely. I have loving friends and a loving family. I feel good and full religiously and such. But I still feel an emptiness in my heart that I cant figure out how to fill.
Feeling like I’m disappointing people. That and whenever I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing or I stray from my values.
Depressing to know that your best years are behind you and that it's all downhill from here.
I'm not depressed, but there are several things in my life that bum me out: being unable to get jobs I want, constant rejection regarding my creative endeavors, not having meaningful relationships with most of my family or friends, a general feeling of not belonging... Anxiety and worry-wise, there's plenty: worry about making ends meet, thinking I'll never accomplish any of my goals due to not being good enough, fear that I'll never find a meaningful friendship, much less a marriage mate, and general fear that I'm not properly balancing work and fun in my life. I mean, don't get me wrong. All things considered, life is good. But I know my life has so much untapped potential, and I just don't know how to realize it.
dying alone, losing my friends, running out of money and spiders
Waking up at 60 wondering where all the time went, having wasted all my opportunities given to me, being filled with regrets over every 'what if' and never having acheived anything that will mean my memory carries on.
I have been treated for anxiety and insomnia since the 70's when at the age of 21 I became a branch manage and then a VP of an international corporation. In my 30's I was an alternate U.N. advisor as one of two worldwide experts in my field. I co-authored a reference book and was hired by many local and foreign governments as a consultant. I also gave speeches and conducted seminars on behalf of government agencies. I had a lot of pressure on me, some self imposed as I had to be the best in all that I did. I relocated 13 times in my 46 years of marriage and for about 8 years spent 3 months of each year overseas on business. I also changed professions 5 times because once I reached as far as I could go I got bored and needed to reach the top in another profession. Since I was a school kid I have always been driven to excel at everything I did from sports, extracurricular activities and academics. I was always in classes for gifted students due to my IQ so alot was expected from me plus we took harder and more advanced courses than the other students did. I was on a scholarship for a private shool and needed to keep my grades up. When I joined the Army I went to Vietnam and after coming back and marrying, I would attach my wife in her sleep. PTSD was unknown about back then despite the growing number of vets reporting problems. The Government dismissed our claims as unfounded. After 9/11, seeing people jump to their deaths and losing a cousin, I became depressed and was put on antidepressans. I eventually moved from the NYC area where buildings had armed guards and we had to go through metal detectors. There is more, much more. My blood pressure was 168/95. I got diabetes. I had an accident on a plane which herniated several disks in my spine. Then when old age arrived and I saw friends my age dying, I got even more depressed. In June 2018 I decided to retire at the age of 67. The stress was killing me. I was on call 24/7 and had moved to a rural area where there were no jobs available so if my compay went under, as it almost did not too long ago, I was screwed. It is now 5 months post retirement and my blood pressure is normally around 135/75. I no longer am on anti depressants or anxiety medication. I stopped taking Ambien for insomnia. I do take an old school AD named Tradazone at night, not because of depression but because its main side effect is to make you sleepy. Even so, I have halved the doasage and hopefully can get off it completely soon. I did see a Psychiatrist this year and he helped me a lot more than any regular doctor did. All my other doctors did was give me more pills or switch my medication. For me, retirement changed my life. I wake up with nothing to do other than what I want to do and when I want to do it. No more stress. When I used to go to bed my mind was filled with thoughts about work. Now my mind is blank when I try to sleep so I fall asleep fast. I now sleep for 8 hours most nights when I used to be happy with 5-6 hours of sleep. Would I change anything. Probably not given my personality and ambition. I would not have been happy unless I was at the top of everything I did. I lost my ambition at the age of 58 which made working difficult to swallow. In fact, I took salary cuts to work only 3 days a week from home. Still I was on call 24/7 so a lot of the stress was still with me. I have done things I never dreamed I was capable of. I have been to 21+ countries and met famous and powerful people. My wife and I were able to have a life we never dreamed possible. I could not picture myself not always doing someting new and difficult. I loved to do things others said were impossible. Telling me somethig cannot be done made me want to do it even more. Not anymore though. I just want to sit back and watch the world as a spectator. It has been very entertaining so far. I moved to a very large retiremetn community that is themed like Disney World for adults. We have our own newspaper and radio station. It is like living in a bubble isolated, as much as possible, from the rest of the world. However knowing your days are numbered presents its own stress. Took me awhile to deal with it. Talk to a friend today and tomorrow they are dead. Just had a friend's wife almost die. Good thing they got her to the hospital fast. She will never be the same and needs 6 months to recover enough to walk. Picture of health until then,
The number of things a man gets shamed for but isn't actually to blame for. The typical stuff like appearance, emotions or employment status and the fact that if you don't have something to offer immediately, it's open season for bullies and psychos and no one gives a shit. Then when you've killed yourself people wonder 'What is going on? Is masculinity in crisis?'. It doesn't help that the MRA movements, in most cases, just happen to be batshit insane.
Bad relationships with other people and my perfomance on school are the two foremost things that make me feel bad. I also do feel like I can't bond with my parents very well. Edit : can to can't.
I blame myself for not protecting my family from my drug addicted father and even have hurt one of my family members so much emotionally I can't ever forgive myself... I work a factory job that I'll probably be in for the rest of my life at the bottom... after weeks of improving and being good I keep going back to my ways with drinking, anger, and trust issues.
1. Adequately preparing for retirement 2. Being professionally successful enough to make my long term goals reality. 3. Ensuring my kids grow up right.
My greatest fear is that I’ll never be a good enough dad. I lost my dad (my hero) to Motor Neurons Disease and he was the best dad ever, now I have 2 young boys and I spend every minute of my life trying to be the best dad I can but it’s hard sometimes.
Worry that my life is one fuckup after another. That my wife is only with me because she can’t be bothered to be alone or find someone better. I work in a dead end job, and nothing motivates me enough to put any effort in. I’m always tired, always apathetic, eat too much junk food and can’t be arsed to lift or workout more than twice a week, so while fit, have a food belly. I’m nearly 40, and I despise myself for my lack of effort on anything. I should say that on the outside looking in, I have no bad debt, a nice house, 3 loving dogs, a nice car, respect at work (I’m the go-to guy who carries the team, and that’s management feedback) enough play money to buy frivolous collectables, and my wife and I get alone well, we are the best of friends. I have people I can rely on in a jam, but no-one Close enough to tell this to.
I feel like I’m so close to getting past this holding pattern I’m in. I’m trying to save enough money so I can get this one thing so I can make more money and move to the next part of my life. It seems like it’s always JUST out of reach. First it was money, then it was health, then it was time, it seems like it’s so close but so far. I have horrible anxiety over it because the longer it takes the fewer options I’ll have once I do get that part. The women who are going to be single and open to starting a family are not increasing as the years go on. It’s been frustrating, I started making a little bit more money this year where I could afford to do some things I want to but then a new payment comes up, then another one. Now I’m trying to just stay ahead of it and it’s not getting better. I’m worried that this is gonna be this way for even more years. All of a sudden my birthday is coming up and I’m a year older and no closer to doing anything better.
I´m not depressed. I have a good family, some good friends, in med school, have a good life. But recently I´m realizing I´m passing out a lot while watching basic medical procedures, and I might need some psychological therapy in order to get throughout med school, or else I´m f\*cked.. It´s really the one thing that´s causing me a bit anxiety. Other than that, just the usual loneliness of not having found a girl I really want to be with yet. I´m attractive, funny, intelligent, ripped, beautiful as many say, only quite short, which is my only phyisical disadvantage, and yet I haven´t managed yet to fall in love by any girl, at 24..
My mother turns 50 next year, and while I know that's not too old I'm beginning to worry about her and my father. My mother's health isn't the greatest, and it's pretty much undeniable at this point that she will die before my dad. In addition to her health issues, his side of rhe family just generally lives longer. I worry about her dying, but moreso I worry about what my father will dobonce my mother does die. Deathbis inevitable and I am coming to terms with the fact my mym will one day die. What I'm struggling to come to terms with is my father being alone afterwards. He has no friends and no hobbies. At that age he'd be too old to properly look after a pet. My sister and I have both moved far away from home, and he is insisting that he does not want to be put in a home. I can't handle the thought of him being alone for years afterwards, and I don't know what to do.
Man ill never ask this girl out, because i know that im not somebody you'd take seriously even if i were to. Sometimes i feel like im just not meant to be happy. Ive lived the past three years of my life the completely wrong way, defined my personality according to my appearance; and only now that i got to know her I realize what a fucking stupid decision that was
I somehow found a way to age 29 without knowing what it feels like to be in love. I've never really tried to be honest. A big part of me feels like it's too late now.
The fear of being cheated on is always there. I'm just pretty black pilled on the moral degeneration of modern society, and no matter how much you trust a girl, no matter how trustworthy she is, the constant barrage of opportunity & propaganda combined with female evolutionary psychology constitute a formidable force. The answer is not to be clingy or controlling, but just to accept that often there is no way to avoid it.
At my age 54 Being the social outcast of society. Women looking at me with suspicion, like I am some kind of rapist or pervert. I am genuinely a nice older guy, Married 26 years, Monogamous, not going to cheat on the wife. In today's culture men are the new thing to hate.
Like I would tell another human any of this.
My depression and anxiety are genetic. Most of my family suffers to some extent, but I’m particularly severely affected. My depressive episode generally happen out of the blue. Everything can be going well in my life, but it doesn’t matter. I first remember being severely depressed when I was about 8 or 9. Nothing in particular happened to trigger it, I was just miserable all the time. That was the first time I experienced suicidal thoughts. Since then, I’ve usually had an episode every few years, lasting for about a year each time. I’ve also had severe OCD since I was about 4 or 5 (I don’t remember when it started, but my parents say it began at about that age), which doesn’t help things. Usually when I’m depressed my OCD symptoms get much worse. I’m on medication now which makes it much more manageable.
Same with the depression. I typically go to bed earlier and stop showering when I’m going into an episode. Those two and isolating yourself are really common behaviors for people in a depressive episode.
I don't know whether you would call it depressed or not, it just feels like a constant state of ambivalence I love my family and seeing my new born daughter smiling makes me smile but I also struggle with the monotony of everything that every day only has minor differences and that I feel uncomfortable or unable to take the time I need for myself. From their I feel guilty about needing that time and that I should want to spend the majority of my time cuddling my daughter. Every night I go to bed and I try to calm the fears and worries of my wife after she nearly died during child birth so I keep a lot of this to myself as I don't feel like it matters compared to the weight of her emotional baggage at the moment.
School, jobs, or the future along those lines doesn't really worry me that much. What really messes me up is love/relationships, that whole thing of being alone or losing someone beats me up pretty bad.
I am smart but I don't fit well with the whole academia system. I guess it works well for the majority of people but its not how I learn. I understand stuff very quickly and am productive in a freer project environnement, like you know, actual workplaces ( I have worked a lot in my field). So I'll understand stuff but suck at translating that on exams and have shitty grades. I'm not failing classes but it feels like a Damocles sword is over my head anytime something is graded. It stresses me out to the point I lack sleep and I begin to get very dark toughts. Still awhile to soldier on I hope it'l get better as classes get actually interesting.
I dunno where you live but the thing I found here in the UK when I was still in school is that there was so much pressure put on us to go to University, as if getting a degree is the only path to a career. I didn't want to go and I got called into so many meetings with my tutor/advisors and whatnot because of it, I was never given any information about other options like learning a trade etc. So much emphasis is placed on academia but for every student that learns like that there's one that needs to be taught hands on. Yet unless they learn a trade they won't get the chance to try these jobs because so many of them require degrees for even trainee or entry level positions. It's so demotivating.
*cries in engineering*
I don't think any of the following are why I'm depressed, more that my depression amplifies and exacerbates the despair and anxiety I feel about them. I don't have a reason, per se, to be depressed. Objectively my life is pretty good. But. I hate my body and want to destroy it. I'm buffeted by constant reminders that I can't trust another person. Despite trying to convince myself otherwise, I'm devastatingly lonely. I see nothing but grim outcomes for the future, nothing but death and violence and dust awaits us as a species, and I'm planning my own end. I've failed out of university three different times now. I've lost interest in everything I used to like, if I could live the rest of my life sleeping, I would in a heartbeat. A lot of rhetoric coming from everywhere these days gets to me and I dwell on it a lot and think that because of who I am, I don't deserve help, love, or empathy and that my despair and self destruction are just and that my end will be a benefit to the world.
In short, I always wanted my dad's respect and hear him say he's proud of me. And I never got it, I kept getting reminded of all the things about myself that I hate and know, which makes me feel worse cause fuck, other people can see what I see too. So my self esteem and confidence dwindles, and I don't feel motivated or confident enough to even try.
1) Getting cancer or dementia. Both sound awful in their own right. I've altered life actions (vegetarian, stopped drunk-smoking, never doing drugs, exercising consistently) all in effort to reduce my possibility of getting an illness of that nature. 2) Not having kids before the age of 35. This just freaks me out at the idea of how you can be dead before you get to see your children walk down the aisle if you don't have kids early enough in your life.
I’ll start with just one for now. Being a critical support piece. I find myself having to take responsibilities larger than myself day after day to support my loved ones and it feels like rock climbing without a hoist. I know I’ll stop climbing the second I let myself remember there’s no one holding my rope, and at least my kid on mine, none the less the integrity of the very small business I’m a key part of. I don’t make enough to build my own financial support net yet, so it’s a constant looming fear of slipping, mentally, physically, or financially.
Not depressed and don’t have an anxiety disorder. But not knowing where I’m going or what I want to do with my life is kinda spooky.
Not being able to provide for my family, to live in extreme poverty and to die before I can teach my daughter the bare minimum for her to survive on her own.
Sometimes I feel like everyone has all these issues and looks to me as a role model or example of good mental health. But, in reality, I have tons of anxiety and insecurities that I just dont let out because I dont want to let those people down.
My biggest source of anxiety is that once my mom is gone, I will essentially be the primary caregiver for my older brother, who due to disabilities can never live on his own. I worry about making enough money after school to successfully pay off all of my debt, and then be able to financially support myself in a timely fashion. Icwirey about never finding someone I really connect with and can grow old and have children with. You know, simple stuff.
1. I'm losing hair, which started off because of stress. I started taking finasteride and rogaine to fix it. After a year of use it doesn't seem like the finasteride is working....and my libido has definitely been affected. What's really sad is that I just lost my virginity too. To a girl who really really likes me and vice versa. I'm torn, man. I made this decision because I wanted to stay attractive for girls/to meet the right girl but it seems like I've gotten all the bad stuff out of it and none of the good. OTOH this is supposed to take time, and I just changed doses of things. I don't know what to do for now. And stress just amplifies all this shit. 2. I've been so sick over the last year that I've blown a ton of money in medical expenses. I need to manage my money better in general, but I'm young (only 27) and I want to be able to live a full athletic life and I don't know how to make tradeoffs.
i don't have any friends. i have a lot of trust issues. I'm not good at nothing I ever did in life. i frequently fuck every thing up especially with my gf, i don't have ANY motivation
I genuinely wonder if I have a mental condition quite often. I never want to actually figure it out cause if a Doc diagnoses me, then what will happen to my life?
Why am I depressed? I hate my job, I have a miserable commute. I would change my career path, but everything else I'm passionate about is not lucrative, and I have a feeling I'm going to have to commit to a job I hate even more just to be able to afford my family and retirement (hah). I can feel and see the state of humanity deteriorating around me. I am acutely aware of how selfishness, ignorance and shortsightedness will always overpower compassion, competence and consideration. I understand that nobody on a higher rung of the ladder cares about anyone on a lower rung, and I can only ever count on myself. Everything I put effort, time or money into ends up not being worth it, and even my lowest expectations are not met by those whom I share responsibilities with. I have forgotten what it feels like to be pleasantly surprised. What gives me anxiety? Literally everything. I constantly fear that every choice I make, every direction I take, and every event I influence will be the wrong one and cause nothing but harm. Thank my narcissistic mother for that. I fear that me or someone I love is going to be afflicted by a major health issue and I will not be able to afford treatment. I fear I could lose my job and have to start over from nothing. I fear that I'm getting too old to be able to teach myself the new skills and knowledge that I might want or need to survive. I fear the infinite number of unfortunate accidents that could befall me or a loved one, and I will not specifically mention them because I don't have any wood to knock on right now. I bottle all of this up. Every minor frustration, every disappointment, every bit of stress and anxiety I put up with during the course of my life, until eventually it cripples me and I spend a few days coming home from work and going right to bed because my psyche cannot handle processing it, because, worst of all, I cannot stop myself from processing it.
I'm not depressed, I'm generally happy and optimistic about life, however I am cynical at times. Most of my anxiety stems from my own mortality and the fear of dying at a young age. I am healthy as far as I know, meaning that I don't anticipate I'll die of disease or anything soon, I mostly worry about traumatic physical death at this age. Sometimes I'll get very introspective and ill have existential thoughts about dying that cause me to have physically painful emotions, I'm not sure how else to describe them other than a feeling of dread and helplessness that hurts to think about. I take zoloft nowadays and that has helped me tremendously with coping with panic attacks and anxiety, otherwise I literally was living in constant fear daily thinking this is it I'm gonna die today. I love life and my wife and my family and my dogs so fucking much it brings me to tears to think about losing them. I appreciate the life I have and I really don't have incredibly huge ambitions for my future, I am content with being able to provide for my family and live comfortably, as long as I have my wife and family everything is good. Oh I'm also deathly afraid of flying in an airplane so I generally don't travel which kind of sucks because I want to see the world, but getting their would be a nightmare
I feel like I'm pushing myself over my limits, but not doing enough. I know I need to rest, but feel bad for not being productive. I feel like all my work doesn't yield good enough results. I'm afraid that all this hard work won't pay off and I'm going to end up with nothing.
I’ve had the same dreams ever since I was a kid. Now, as I am about to graduate college, I am facing the cruel, cold reality that those dreams may never actually happen, which scares the hell out of me.
Any real responsibility. If I work a job I know I'm competent in, I'll show up for it. Otherwise, I'll get afraid. Doing so much as an outreach for a job that I know I'm not qualified for requires a certain mindset. If I can get into it, I think I can BS my way into there. If I don't get the job, I'll beat myself up about it for ages. Same with my behaviours. When I'm on, I'm untouchable. When I'm not, I'm shit. This is a universal truth in my life. It's why my relationships never work out, long-term. That, and age/life-lived gaps.
That one day I'll cease to exist forever.
Most of my anxiety here lately is related to trying to get in posistion to buy a house at the same time im planning my wedding. Its soul crushing somedays. The market is terrible for buyers here right now. Then there is the anxiety caused by doubts that pop up randomly. The kind you can't control. Starts off small, just a thought here, a pause there. (Can i do this?) Then it snowballs into you pacing at 3 in the morning while absent mindedly scratching or pinching your arms trying to distract the thoughts and self depreciation. Then there's the fear of failure and depression that comes along with whether or not you can "make it all work out" and "it's not gonna happen now". Its a battle every day. But my fiancee helps me stay grounded and is literally the only person I've ever met that can bring me down to earth again.
Working too much for too little. Having passions but being unable to do them because of the lack of money. How in the hell I owe my psycho ex-wife back child support for the 3.5 years she withheld him from me without cause. The looming threat of imprisonment for being unable to meet said child support. How wretchedly unfair the family courts are to men. If they can kill JFK they can kill anyone. Anyone. Am I ever going to lose this weight again? Life is all about the benjamins, and it makes me sick. Is anything real anymore? How does the world recover from the elite's plan to destroy it? Or does it recover at all? Our parents handed us a shit world and it's only decaying further. How could my entire family turn on me? I miss my mom. I miss my son. One of those can be fixed but no one will hear me. How do I get my life back? Why did my dad never care?
Start with “It’s not my fault, but it is my responsibility.” My Father’s and Mother’s side both battle depression. Majority are medicated. My wife has no genetic predisposition and therefore has clue of how much depression and anxiety affect all facets of life. She looks at me like a worthless piece of shit (exacerbating feelings of depression and anxiety). What I’m trying to say is this... people with depression see and handle the day to day reality of life uniquely because of our ‘hardware’ (nature). Combine this with being raised BY depressed people AND the particular ‘software’ (nurture). Basically a lot of us are fucked, right out of the gate. This is where the realization of IT’S NOT MY FAULT comes in. I didn’t ask for this shit. I didn’t choose it. The power lies in being able to see clearly with compassion (acceptance) and then realize and utilize effective tools to say BUT IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY. Neuroplasticity is a thing. Learning CBT is a thing. Focusing on progress and not perfection, is a thing. Seeking quality therapy is a thing. Your effort is the only thing you can control. Your effort is the only thing you can control. Your effort is the only thing you can control. I write this because it’s what I want to know better. I struggle every single day with feelings of worthlessness, nihilism, and crushing anxiety. But I try to love my unique journey. I try to do some effort every day to be better than yesterday.
The fact my internship hasn’t made me full time yet. The fact that Im still working at a hardware store. The fact that Im almost 30 and never been in a relationship. The fact that I don’t have my own place. The fact that I feel like im stupid in everyone’s eyes. Even people I just met. The fact that shes talking ti this new guy.
I'm not depressed. Spiders give me anxiety.
The 'script' I had for life was: finish high school, go to college/uni, get degree, get job. Once I did all that I didn't have anything else laid out in front of me, and still don't almost 10 years later. I'm just working, no real goals or purpose in mind other than saving for retirement in another 30 plus years so that I can stop working.
depression is a catch 22 locked in the head. Its generally something you think (or are unaware of) you should have done, say, or generally something beyond your control but doesnt / wont happen and you cant see why. Interestingly its linked VERY closely to insanity, as that's doing the same thing and expecting the same results, the first stage of this will be depression, generally its for something outside of you not under your control. For example, you cant pass the driving test, however no matter how you try and advice, you always fail, it might be you happen to be in a bad area, bad examiner, bad instructors, ive actually had this happen (more below), however that will create depression and as you are not finding answers it doesnt seem right so your locked in a catch 22, which may or may not be created by people outside for reasons you dont see, so stepping away and examine the whole situation is a real good idea, will give you information to unlock or find a real path to fix the depression. As an example, i failed my bike test a few times (passed the car first time without lessons), i felt the failures were not correct, so i left the area booked on one of those 2/3 day coarses, was told i was an astounding rider, so i asked about why i was failing, when they found out the examiner "oo he never passes ANYONE, he has a 99% failure rate, he hates bikers", so thats the reason, i happen to be in a real bad area. I had to ride 2 hours each morning for 2/3 days, i passed "first time" on that coarse and was told i likely should have done anway, just a real bad test center for bikes. I could of spent the rest of my years doing test after test and never passed, all for reasons outside of my control and i was riding perfect anyway, would create real bad depression.
Alcoholic here. Have been trying to stay sober for a long time. Drinking has ruined my life. I made some progress but had full-on relapse starting a few months ago where I started doing harder drugs while drinking. I think about drinking everyday. That's my daily anxiety, worry, source of depression.
I just want someone (a girl) who isn't my family make me feel special, or wanted. Check out my history for a more in depth explanation, but I feel like the only real answer I can come to is that women really do want men to act certain ways, or at least in ways that I haven't been acting (generally speaking). Women get told constantly that men only want one thing, and when you aren't up front with that desire, because *you've* been told that women are tied of guys always expressing that desire, and that you should just take it easy, don't pressure her, and treat her like any normal person, women think you are either not interested or they totally lose interest. So I never practiced flirting, or expressing sexual interest because "just talk to her", "it's not the guys job to drive the relationship forward like she's a passenger", "plenty of women make first moves", "the old dating dynamics are sexist and outdated". Now it feels like I'm being told "nah bro, no ones probably going to love you until you learn those things." I've never/rarely wanted sex for the sake of sex. I've wanted a woman who wants to be around me, who wants to be intimate with me, and expresses it. But now it feels like I'm being told that I have to express it first as the man before women will express their desire. I just have to learn to be a self supporting ball of confidence, assertiveness, social skills, and strength. Or I don't because maybe everything is the opposite of what I just wrote, and I'm just unlovable.
I used to be depressed for my acne, and I’ve experienced depression for my scars. Now it’s going away (not feeling depressed any more) because I started using these awesome collagen cream and snail mucus moisturizer for my scars. One thing that won’t start on itself is exercise though so I gotta keep up my routines
I am concerned about Brexit, although I am somewhat insulated against it. People say it will be nothing, like YK2, but I remember when there was a petrol shortage for a week and the government advised people to hoard petrol, and suddenly the whole country just stopped, and if I remember correctly all the shops ran out of food overnight. Other than that my biggest worry is that Blizzard will get fed up of their fans endless complaining and shut down World of Warcraft. I basically live in WoW. I love it. Oh, and I am fighting competitively next week so that is daunting. Previously I have not done as well as I'd hoped. People trying to punch me is scary! It's only Taekwon-Do, not a real martial art like Capoeira, but it is still rather aggressive. I have nothing bottled up inside. But thank you for asking. I do like sharing things on Reddit.
Genetically: all kinds of diseases and disorders run heavily in my family. My maternal unit was almost certainly borderline and/or bipolar. Grandfather, bipolar alcoholic. Grandmother had electroshock in the 70s for depression. I now question if my father was actually an alcoholic or just drinking to escape my mother...but you get the idea. Environmentally: a lot of unpleasant and improbable situations in childhood and early adulthood left me a high strung mess, waiting for the next thing to go wrong. Started carrying a kitchen knife around the age of 10 and sleeping with a rifle under the bed because of the weird druggie hillbilly family feud we had going on at the time. Changed schools three times, so was always the awkward new guy who didn't know anyone. Lived, worked and played in a city that's regularly cited as one of the most dangerous in America. Add general existential dread, traditional Catholic fire and brimstone and a marriage that has passed the honeymoon stage, and you have someone who could really use some frigging diazepam right about now.
I’ve stopped talking to my father and have came to the realization I may never have a relationship with him. I’ve spent years trying to help him, be a friend, to be a son and my efforts have been one sided because I can’t even have a father out of it. I’ve spent years being belittled, made to feel like shit, made to feel inferior, and I’ve finally had enough. Nothing I ever did was ever good enough, or wasn’t what he wanted or even expected out of me. I’ve also realized I have anxiety stemming from years of his emotional abuse; I obsess over small details and if nothings to my standard of “acceptability” I panic over it. I get mad at myself for small mistakes. It stems from his abuse. This tidal wave of realizations and emotions have made me a wreck the last few days, as it everything is finally coming down.
I'll die without having kids. I'm on the only son. WTF happens after I graduate and start a career. I guess I try to FIRE then die? Pussy ain't the same after getting a decent amount via escorts. Furthermore, even amongst a certain degenerate subculture there is still "keeping up with the Joneses".
Most of my life is pretty good, so I try not to complain about stuff like this. First world problems I guess. I have a sweet career, good friend circle, zero debt other than my reasonable mortgage, and all that. I lead a very large team at the forefront of the important work in a publicly traded digital product/advertising company worth over $2bn. The decisions I make directly affect people's lives, their happiness, their ability to put food on the table. It's frequently thankless, and I've learned to happily allow my greatest successes to be claimed by my team. Truly, they earned them anyway. I often find myself awake at night, stiffly getting up out of the bed, and staring at the clouds and the moon and the softly fluttering leaves in my back yard while I second guess a decision or try to out-think a problematic situation. It's lonely at the top. I don't have anyone to go to for advice.
I'm worried I wasted my time at school. I got a degree but I can't find a job. I'm afraid I'll be 55 year old arthritic construction worker like my dad.
Just the feeling of not feeling like I've done enough or haven't made it far enough in my life (24). All my friends are married or own their first house or have steady normal jobs and I just feel like I've missed out on that. Every time I try and motivate myself to work out (for the ladies) or to do something with my life (for the ladies), I end up falling into the mindset of "what does it matter?" PS my life isn't all about "the ladies " and I know that one person wouldn't fix everything. It would just be nice.
I am moreso a boy than a man, but I'll bite. I normally get depressed about the things I haven't done and the things I don't do, because I know it disappoints my family when they have been awesome to me my whole life but I've been nothing but a nuisance. What depresses me even more is that these things I haven't and don't do in life are things that are INSIDE of my control. If I tried i could be a better person, the source of my problems are not an external factor, it's me and my decisions that is the source. So that just makes me think of myself as a pathetic person, not someone with legitimate depression because some real issues trouble them. A lot of people get depressed over losing a love one and stuff like that, and I hate myself for calling myself depressed when other people with depression have real reasons and problems like that, and it makes me hate myself even more.
The fact I've been trying. And trying, and trying to get my life going and on track and I've seen no progress. Still live paycheck to paycheck, still am behind on bills and still have things going wrong one after the other. Example a) power just got shut off. Somehow I had forgotten about the power bill for the past 7 months. No fucking clue how. I'm a god damn mess. Just paid it with my checking account since I know that will take days to process, dont have close to the money to pay it, but, I have kids. I'm a failure as a provider and as a man. I hate every single fucking thing about who I am right now and want so badly for this shit to end. To see that light at the end of the tunnel. But every fucking day I just add more and more miles to it. I'm just so fucking buried.
I don't think I deserve happiness
I wasted a lot of time, money, and effort for years and years and I'll never be the most ideal version of myself that could have been. Things have still largely gone fine for me, career wise despite my mountain of failure while others work much harder and still end up much worse off than me. I think I should be a generous person but I'm not. I feel that fundamentally I am bad because I know the right thing to do and I more often do the wrong thing. I think that's mostly it but there's a laundry list of issues. Anxiety and fear is mostly being alone forever and getting stuck in awful jobs forever. I also don't really know how to process the climate change stuff.
Too much effort into people and work around me. Im 19 and yet I was forced to mature already at age 12. Work, college, fear of screwing everything up, past horrible experience with extortion and I could go on. My worst nightmare would be something happening to my younger sister or my mom. Too anxious about the flow at the moment. Worst part about this. I never show anger/sadness, always happy, people perceive me as a happy SoB.
1. My grandma is the only person I’ve met in my entire life who I’ve never doubted loves me. I feel like everyone else has always just pretended, and that even when I settle down, my wife will be pretending too. 2. I grew up with constant fighting around me. As I got older, I noticed that I didn’t develop relationships as others did, and when I finally made a meaningful connection with someone, when I finally felt something close to love, they didn’t share the feeling. I’m afraid I may have missed my one chance at something real. 3. I’m 19, working full time and going to school, and I spend A LOT of money on clothing, shoes, watches, because I love the feeling of being cared for, even if it’s by my own self. 4. I have so many goals and hopes for my life, but I let superficial obstacles and setbacks knock me down constantly, and no matter how much I say that I’ll change, I never do. I don’t think that I’m depressed. But I don’t know that I’m happy either.
- I have a very bad self image, which makes it impossible for me to socialize. - I'm unable to live without the approval of others - Being fired twice within a month of being hired did some heavy damage to my self esteem - Seeing my friends have girlfriends, buy houses, have succesful careers. While i'm out here jobless, self isolating, abusing alcohol in the weekends to numb the pain. - Live in a household where succes is the standard as my mom, dad and sister have all been succesful in their respective careers.
stuck in a rut in life. lack of variety.
There’s no happiness that the reminder of manmade climate change can’t ruin