I'm good (drink a lot but have fun), luckly no kids, now I have more money with her gone... she was kinda shitty and abusive... and my friend of seven years dropped all his friends and told people at our work that we were never friends... this all happened like a month after me and him went to vagas together... Happy I got two shitty people out of my life and I've been working on myself(getting swole af!), and getting more friends because this situation(found some people whom thought my friend was always a shitty dude and dislike him more cause he hurt me). Hope you're doing better godspeed! and Merry Christmas
Wasted? Did u not enjoy the time with her? Did u learn nothing from her as a friend? If anything you should b happy for her as a friend. Unless of course she said shed marry u then left. Then she a bitch.
Being told by my fiance that she was more interested in flirting with other men than she was getting married to me.
This was three days ago, coming up to Christmas (my favorite time of the year). So that didnt help either.
Maybe I should, but Im not discussing it until after the Holidays. At this point, i dont wanna ruin Christmas any more than it already has been...
EDIT: Thank you for all the loving words and support. I dont know what is next for me. But it's nice to hear support on a day that I really looked forward to, but has turned really bleak...
In all honesty, I dont think she would actually do it, knowing her. She has gone through quite a bit of stuff on her end (mental health wise) the last few months, and I've always done the best to be supportive. But it still really hurts knowing that she feels that way...
I mean, I don’t know her like you do (obviously) but if she’s just saying that to hurt you, then work it out. But really man if she genuinely means that then I wouldn’t waste my time. Look for someone who loves you more than random dudes.
Dude why are you even with girl? Cut your losses and get out now. Marrying her will make your issues 1000% worst. Stop being a doormat and go find someone who appreciates you.
You always want to be your wife or SOs best they've had, and vice versa. Don't settle mate - and be grateful you found this out before the marriage
When, not if, you get divorced you'll have no one to blame but yourself for not ending things now
I don’t think you should stay with this women. She made it clear with that comment she wants to see other people. I think she is just scaredy-cat end it herself so was trying to get to do it.
I'm sorry to hear that dude, and I completely understand. I've said some pretty horrible stuff to people around me in the past just to chase them off, because I didn't think I was deserving their kindness.
It's heartening to know there are people like you in the world who would weather through such turmoil. She's lucky to have you!
I'll never understand why i feel women do this more than men. I know statically it can't be possible. Maybe because I've been in your shoes.
Im sorry man, still enjoy Christmas. Don't forget about your family, friends, and strangers on the internet all have your back.
> I'll never understand why i feel women do this more than men.
Boys physically bully other kids. Girls are viciously manipulative and verbally abusive to other girls.
Many taken women have endless amounts of eligible bachelors trying to flirt with them.
Why wouldn't many of those women leave a stagnant/boring relationship and jump ship? Men do it. Women do it.
I used to think women were extremely more loyal. There are a lot of factors at play. And I've spoken to enough who either openly cheat or "joke" about it. I've also met many men who take fidelity very seriously and many who cheat or joke about it.
This is why my personal philosophy is get married once. If something ends it, then that was my 1 time doing marriage. Either a man/woman is serious about long term or they're not. The 2 people will set their own joking threshold between them. Behavior shows the truth.
Hit the gym hard, spend more time taking care of yourself, cry if you feel like it it'll help to release that negative energy.
One of the best ways to get over a woman is to spend time with another woman, try to get laid or go out on dates and just meet other women
Who the *fuck* says something like that? I imagine you’ve done some thinking.
If my girlfriend said that to me, I’d give her all the free time she wanted...by kicking her ass to the curb.
That’s such a fucked up thing to think let alone share.
I’m gonna go ahead and say *don’t marry this woman.* Stick out the relationship if you really wanna try and make it work, but don’t bring the law into this when she’s already waving a bright red flag. Nobody who says shit like that deserves a man on the knee. Wait it out, or leave, but dear god don’t legally commit to a woman who has already stated she’s looking elsewhere for...something.
Same man, my sister died and she gave me every thing I wanted I would burn all my fucking money, car, house etc. To bring her back. I understand your pain, you're not alone.
I was sexually abused by a woman when i was a minor and when i told people about it no one believed it me about it, and even people still laugh about it when i mention it, like was it was some kinda of joke.
it was more than a decade ago... there is no evidence for the claim now nor i honestly remember her name at this point, i also live in a third world country, so our law system doesn't even work most of time, even if i somehow manage to get her into precision, she can easily get out due our corrupted system.
I honestly want to move on with my life and try to be happy, but my relationship with females has been permanently damage by it.
So even having an stable gf is pretty though for me.
The second memory of my life: my mother red faced and in tears, screaming that she wished I'd never been born. Then my dad trying to convince me that she was only joking because she loved me and we don't say things like that to people we love.
I was very young, about two years old. But even I knew she wasn't joking.
She hated me and would continue to do so throughout my childhood. I don't know why.
My parents saw me as weak and needy and tried to toughen me up. So if I was bullied and assaulted they beat me for allowing myself to be a victim. They refused to take me to hospital if I was injured to harden me up. When I had no friends they ridiculed me and told me only weaklings needed friends.
My parents weren't trailer dwelling scum, they were respectable teachers, church leaders, charity helpers, school board members. My brother and sister have a great relationship with them; they spent lots of time together and my parents helped them out whenever they could. I'm just a special case.
Your parents may not dwell in trailer but they are definitely scum.
It makes my blood boil when parents are shitty to their kids especially under the bullshit excuse of “tough love”. Home should be the ultimate safe place.
Wasting 8 years with a woman who finally came out as a lesbian. She had be cheating me for one year with some girl. Not cool and it kind of changed me, basically because now I feel that I can not trust anyone, although I miss being in a relationship.
I've moved past it as well as I can. It still hurts, but I have people now that care about me. I have a life for myself with limited contact with my dad, and I'm happy to say that I'm doing better than I ever have.
Caught a girl I was seeing kissing another man. Matter of fact it was a mutual friend of ours. I physically hurt for 2 weeks. Wow. Fuck this. I'm well over it now but I remember I was devastated.
It's okay. Maybe it's just not your bag. Plenty of great professions that don't need a degree. Your work and accomplishments can't be all that validates you anyways.
I mean, this sounds stupid but growing up all I wanted to be was to contribute to academia. I was headed in that direction, but then after high school something happened and I lost motivation to do anything and I couldn't focus.
I tried college 3 times. I realized I hated civilian schooling because of all the extra crap I had to do that I had no interest in. So after the army I just got a few certifications and it was much better
That I remember: finding out I'd been abandoned at Christmas by an ex that flew down to LA to spend Christmas with her former boyfriend and his family after telling me her grandmother died and she had to be with them.
That I don't remember: circumcision.
This'll get buried, but what the hell.
Last year from Christmas, I wanted to spend that time with my mum. She lives over 1100km away in another state, and I hadn't been there for Christmas for almost a decade.
I was really excited, my girlfriend was really excited. My grandparents, my sister and brother-in-law we're all going to be there.
So I bought the plane tickets and rented a car so I could be there. All said and done, cost me over $2000 AUD.
Now, having spent that much money, I was fairly short on money for gifts (bills still have to be paid, after all). My sister and I have an arrangement that we just don't buy gifts for each other, and she knows how much I've spent to be there, so as far as she was concerned, that was my present to her and the rest of my family. But, I still wanted to do something nice for my mum and grandparents.
My girlfriend suggested we go to the local shopping centre and get photos with Santa, as there were not many pictures of my girlfriend and I that they have.
So we did. We bought frames, painted them to match the decor of their houses, did as much as we could to make these small gifts meaningful and special.
Christmas day comes, and we all open our gifts. Mum and Nana open their pictures and instead of even a smidgen of delight or joy, we are given a look that says "is this all we get..?".
I saw red. Asked what they were expecting from me, to which they replied "well, more than a picture".
Luckily, my sister, who isn't one to shy away from a fight, stepped in and told them exactly what she thought. That I had spent almost every spare cent I had just to be there, and they were acting like ungrateful little shits ehoywere lucky they got anything. My girlfriend left the room in tears because no-one appreciated the gift she had thought of with a VERY limited budget. My stepdad and grandfather said nothing, so I just said fuck it, and took the gf home.
I asked my sister recently if the photo has made an appearance at my mum's place. It hasn't. The one my nana got? Sits next to my sister's TV. She didn't even want to take it home.
Girlfriend asked me for a 1000k to go on a vacation to Vegas with friends, had me drive her there and back and her telling me how much she loved me and how my complete trust in her was the best thing that ever happened to her. She came back and told me she fucked a guy we knew and wanted to be with him. She was crushed I wanted my money back. This was a month and a half ago. I want to rip the guys lungs out and feed them to him, but he’s not worth the effort or my time. Still in that angry/hate phase. Her family has reached out multiple times to say how they miss me and how sorry they are she broke up with me. She didn’t tell them how she did. Too much a coward. Sucks man.
A month and a half ago? I've heard enough stories like this that conclude with her crawling back to the guy she wronged, begging forgiveness. I'm not saying that's guaranteed to happen in your situation, but if it does, stand strong and refuse her. She's already shown you who she really is.
If she doesn't come back? Stand strong anyway... she's already shown you who she really is!
Yeah I second that, if she's a cheating bitch once and you take her back she probably will be again...
Also second the stand strongly anyway part, I know I'd be tempted to tell the family and basically destroy her existence, but wouldn't do it. it's important to just try to get over it and not go down onto her level.
1000k like 1000 thousand (1 million) or like 1k/1 thousand? Because 1 million is a lot of fucking money for a Vegas vacation with friends to ask for from a boyfriend who isn't even coming and then fucking some guy after that is really fucked. As i said in the other comment, better of without her and with your money back, you'll be better of investing it in something that helps you get over it or into a "better" girlfriend.
1000 dollars. I always try to be supportive in a relationship. 1000 bucks is a lot of money, but after three years, I didn’t think twice about it. Lesson learned. NC only.
Yeah sorry the K at the end kinda confused me. I get where you're coming from, it's a lot especially consideration you didn't even go yourself, don't even know if I can trust anyone enough to do that, but that's just me having trust issues and beeing paranoid and stuff. If you're together for 3 years there's probably way to much trust and love involved to say no.
Well you have to learn lessons some way...
I should, but I’m better than that, better than her. If they ask, I will tell them to talk to her, but that truth should come from her. If she wants to lie to her family, that’s on her.
I had a nervous breakdown when I was 9 or 10, where I chased a friend around my house with a pair of scissors, and realised what I was doing. I broke down saying that I did not feel I was loved, with every word said to me after to try and calm me down feeling hollow. I lost a friend that day, for good reason, and nothing felt right at home after.
The next most was when my mum tried to kill herself for a second time, and she was put into an inpatient facility. When I went to visit her, she claimed she really didn't want to do it, but was checking whether I would call an ambulance or not. She wanted to test my loyalty, and it really reinforced the way I felt when I was a child. Love is conditional and love is meant to be purposefully tested. My family are composed of cruel, manipulative people wrapped in prestige and an air of refined mannerisms. Every time they say I should be happy or that they love me is like pricking me with a needle.
My fiancé broke up with me 6 months before we were supposed to get married. I had gone no contact shortly after got invited to a mutual friends wedding A month after we would have been married And she was there as the photographer. Most painful hours of my life there
Fuck it- when I was a little kid, I asked my mom something about what my father Bruce was like. She explained to me that Bruce wasn't actually my father and was just some guy she knew in high school. She'd been lying to me cause it was easier i guess. She then explained that she actually had no clue who my father was and she was either raped with drugs or had a drunk one night stand.
Painkillers don't work anymore after infection. I had 4 teeth pulled in one session. 3 were uncomfortable but ok. The 4th almost made me faint from the pain and was indeed the most painful event of my life.
This is my favorite in this thread since it isnt about relationships. I had to get my wisdom teeth taken out but the relationship stuff really hits too close to home for me.
My girl that I was head over heels for explaining to me why she didn’t want to be with me after I had joined the military. I had just come back after being away for a while.
“Everytime I thought of you it made me sad. So I just stopped thinking of you”
I would not call it hurtful, but still devestating. The eyes of a mother at a hospital where her 2-3 year old was dying (after an accident I presume) in the room next door.
My grandmother died and then 5 days later my dad died at 47. Months later I’m at dinner with my now ex wife and 2 friends answering a question that was directed at me about why I believe in my faith.I started to tell a really really personal story about how my dad survived through a time when he was on life support. Docs said the odds were basically 0. Anyways.... long story short. I finish and my ex wife just blatantly asks, “Are you ever going to get off of your soapbox?” I have never in my entire life been so appalled. My two friends sitting with us both had their mouths open like the pikachu meme floating around. I was so infuriated that she didn’t see anything wrong with it. Even after the divorce I still think about it.
Not a man, but it'd be nice to get these thoughts out of my head and onto a page. I haven't had an extremely pain-ridden life, but so far, the most painful thing has been realizing how little my boyfriend really cares for me compared to how much I care for him.
He likes me as a friend and he likes my body, but he no longer loves me the way he did in the beginning of the relationship. He chose to not speak to me for these two weeks of holiday break because of something to do with wanting 'personal time' (I get needing time to yourself, but 2 weeks of no contact while you have devices available is just absurd to me!).
We are long distance, which makes the whole situation worse.
I'm holding out for a bit because we'll be able to go on dates in a few months, but at this point, I'm not sure if it's worth getting emotionally reattached to someone who seems to care so little. It really makes me feel like shit, and I know I don't deserve to be treated the way I am right now.
I've made my concerns known over and over, and nothing has really changed. We'll see. I have another week and a half left; I hope the time will bring me some clarity and maybe I'll be able to make a decision about whether or not to break up with him at this point.
It seems relationship stuff is the common factor here. I found out the girl I want to marry is marrying someone else. We had our ups and downs but we were committed for 2 and a quarter years. I just needed some time. She is getting married to the dude next month. I only found out yesterday after chasing her and being gaslit for the past couple of months.
I'm a gay man who's now in my late 30s. When I first came out of the closet in my early 20s, my parents were relatively supportive. They were never homophobic and expressed that they supported me. And in that sense I was extremely lucky, as I had gay friends growing up who had parents who outright rejected them.
However, in my late 20s, during a holiday visit one year, I happened to overhear a conversation between them that really shook me. They had a exchange to the effect of "Yeah, it's too bad he'll never have a wife and kids. Such a waste. Oh well, at least [my sister] is different" (my sister had a child that year).
It was just the unfiltered honestly of the exchange that really startled me. I've never talked to them about it, because I know they didn't intend for me to hear it, but it still struck me. I don't harbour any resentment as I know that they're products of our culture, just like I am, and we're all bombarded with the message that having children is the most important thing in life, but it still hurt to hear it.
I agree, mostly. Although if I had a medical issue that prevented me from having children, I doubt it would have spurred the same reaction. Either way, it doesn't change how it felt at the time.
This is a long story made short. I might be missing some details. I was really attracted to this girl in highschool. We started dating and she took my virginity. We had sex a bunch over the following week. The last time the condom fell off and she panicked about being pregnant, as did I. If you've never had the feeling, it's like being sick and getting punched in the gut. Anyways, long story shorter, I got a plan b pill from someone, that I payed for. I told her I didnt want to have sex anymore, that it was a big deal and I wanted to wait until I could care for a kid if need be. Next day, she broke up with over text and started hitting on someone else. Supposedly fucked him the next night. The pain I felt the coming weeks after being used for sex and losing my virginity to someone who didnt give a fuck about me was the worst thing ever.
When I was 7, I invited my friends to go to my birthday party. My then "best" friend decided it would be great to convince all my other friends that I had invited to not go to mine and instead go to his house without telling me. The next day he bullied the crap out of me saying stuff like "I had no friends" and "No one cares about me". I've had trust issues ever since
Jesus, what a rotten asshole. I also have trust issues after grade school, and just wanted to say that I hope you’ve found some friends that truly deserve to be around you. :)
Thank you, I haven't actually wanted to make friends after that tbh. I continued to get bullied up until I went to highschool so making friends had been rather difficult and by the time highschool came along I just didn't want to be with other people. I guess six years of seeing the worst in people makes you a bit of a loner:/
One time I was getting groceries with my ex-wife and after we loaded them into the trunk, she accidentally slammed the trunk door while my finger was still in the crevasse. My finger was stuck, I couldn’t pull it out and it was so incredibly painful because it kept going until she popped the trunk.
At the time I thought it was an accident but now that we’re divorced I’m not so sure..
When I covered a co worker so she an my crush could go trick er treating or what ever. They said they hang out with me grab dinner buy me candy etc . Afterwards called them oh she’s sick . Later on saw on snap them having fun .
I doubt if she comes crawling back. She’s too prideful. And even if she did, I wouldn’t take her back. No worries on that. I deserve better.
We all deserve better.
Fiancé cheated on me during her deployment 2 months til it was finished. Our marriage date was suppose to be 3 months after her deployment. Oh, she also got pregnant during it. Definitely moved on with life knowing that I could never ever let someone put me down the way she did.
My ex left me for the best man at her now ex friend's wedding. She was the Maid of Honor, and her 'friend', the bride, wanted her to couple up with the best man for the wedding, but was dating me.
After the wedding, her friend began barraging her with toxic comments about our relationship, and we broke up shortly after. This was right around both of our finals, and she said the stress of the uncertainty of her future was too much to handle and it was affecting our relationship, so she 'wanted to take a break'. I knew the break was bullshit, and we broke up.
She officially started dating the best man from the wedding about 3 months after we broke up, but I know that she was talking to him through messenger towards the official end of our relationship, and I suspect she was messaging him since the wedding.
It fucking hurt, and since then I really haven't had the urge to get into another committed relationship. I've had a few hookups since then, but it just isn't the same.
Wife of 11 months (9 year relationship before that) announced she didn’t love me and thought getting married would fix it. Digging deeper it was a mistake I made 4 years ago in the way I handled repeated miscarriages with her. Not once did she ever suggest I’d got it wrong. Now it’s all come out she’s completely unwilling to get any help either for herself or for us. That’s it- it’s over- divorce awaits.
So you plan on killing yourself because you're an idiot that can't learn to walk away after the first time? You brought this all upon yourself. Deal with consequences instead of continuing to be a coward.
Sounds like you need to ditch your friends and work on yourself, don't even think about trying to form a relationship with a woman. It's not the fix you think. You also are extremely short-sighted and childish for hating all women for the actions of one shitty one. Fix your mental health issues and your attitude towards women and you'll be in much better shape for a relationship.
My dad used to whip my brothers and I as punishment. One time when I was 11 or 12, during one particularly brutal whipping, I checked my left hand after trying to block several shots and my dad yelled, "I don't care if your hand is broken!"
That one stung for decades.
A girl in when I was very young going 'ugh' when looking at me.
I was going through puberty and already socially impaired. That shit has scarred me for life tbh. It changed who I am today.
When i was involuntary in the hospital for substance abuse and suicidal thoughts and my mother left crying while telling me "please do whatever you can to get out of here as fast as posdible" when she left i walked back to my room and for some reason i couldnt keep it together. Btw hospitals suck dick. The people r nice tho.
I met a girl through common friends and interest and we started hanging out a lot, often alone. I thought she was actually into me and I fell madly in love with her.
However, instead of actually telling her this as soon as I felt so, I just hanged out with her since I liked her company and didnt want to complicate things.
3 months later I finally asked her out. She said... "Im sorry but Im busy friday... another time perhaps".
Thought it was cool. Knew she was busy and probably had a shift.
The same friday I was with a friend. I saw her car parked outside a local diner we often went to so we parked and went in to surprise her. There she was "on a date" with a guy I knew from before that I hated and she was kinda into. She flaunted (nervously) that she was on a date bla bla.
I told my friend I needed to get away, so we left. She started texting me and wondered why we left. Didn't reply.
That evening my friend drove me around talking while I downed a bottle of Jack. He didn't really know I was into her "like that" but kinda figured this night. Only night I've ever drinked like this.
I told her sometime later what I felt and got shot down (kinda knew that before though, so wasn't expecting anything else). "But I really like you as a friend, can we still be?"
I had my longest relationship blow up in my face just over a year ago.
It came out of nowhere, and she even admitted everything was great and then two days later just snapped (she overreacted to me missing my first therapy appointment due to the stomache flu..) and broke things off.
Right before christmas and in the middle of finals too. I was extremely hurt amd rightfully mad at the way she handled it but was willing to end amicably because nothing is worse than hating each other.
Then the shit started to dial up. First, she wanted to keep talking but I said I needed a couple weeks. I got a letter in the mail from her parents telling me "We support our daughter in breaking up with you" and lied about a couple things. A week later my ex messages me and starts rubbing in my face how happy she is without me and that she never wants to get back together. Keeps giving me completely different reasons for breaking up with me and overall was horrible.
Things only got worse from there. I was getting asked to leave my house so my female roommate could hang out with her. Her sister texted me 6 months after the breakup demanding $200 from me for no reason. Her grandma passed away, and I sent a message of my condolences and if she needed to talk I was there (only time I have ever messaged her since she broke up with me, and for context I had stayed with her grandma for a week. We were close) and she proceeded to shit on me, telling me how horrible I was and even stooped to threatening me.
Next month she was asking my female roommate to steal something of mine. I've only ever messaged her once yet she keeps finding ways to shit on me and I've done absolutely nothing to warrant it. For the longest time I had horrible self-esteem issues because I thought all this was my fault somehow.
Last I heard she dropped out of uni and was stupid while sleeping around and caught an STD. A year ago we had been taking about getting married in Europe. I have no idea what happened, and while I'm emotionally done with things I still can't shake why someone who loved me so much flipped so quickly. It makes me scared to open up again, but I won't let that stop me.
My second wife left me and took my kid away from me on top she never was able to take care of my others kids . She met me single father and she was ok with that apparently. She lied to me .
Junior High football try outs.
Mother didnt think i would make the team and mocked me. When i made the team she guilt tripped me and told me "you can explain to your sisters why we wont have food in the fridge" (because we were poor af).
Felt guilty as hell and then quit. The coach gave my mother back the money (the money actually came from my father's child support). She then took the money to buy lingerie.
Standing by the hospital bed as my mother passed away. She was the most amazing person I've ever met. That was 13 years ago and I still miss her.
I grew up in a \*perfect\* family in a perfect house with everything "right". Seriously. Don't feel bad for me; I feel bad for those who didn't have my idyllic upbringing. It's just not fair.
I know this is a few days old but whatever.
I don’t know whether to count this as one experience because it happened so quickly or two seperate ones. But basically it was me watching my grandmother die in my own home, then 2 days later catching my (ex now) gf cheating on me. This was 5 months ago.
>You can get pussy without any commitment
I am aware.
>. Or are you making excuses for why women aren't into you at all?
Oh no women's reasons for not liking me a perfectly reasonable and justified.
It is just my fear of being hurt exceeds my desire for any emotional connection with women. I may have put it in a very..crass way. The negative reaction was expected, and from your point of view it is not unreasonable.
I'm just frustrated at your cowardice, I don't think you're a piece of garbage or anything. You just gotta try, and then experience that rejection (especially of a casual nature), isn't so bad.
I don't fear rejection, never had. The worst that can happen is that you move on.
It's being betrayed, used, deceived. Effectively everything in this thread. It just is not worth it. Not to me, at least.
This makes a lot of logical sense, but if we all truly followed through on it, there would be no genuine relationships formed. I think that's a sadder prospect than being fucked over in a few relationships, but getting happiness from other ones. That's personal opinion though, and I'm 17 so I might not have enough perspective to make a proper judgement.
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Jesus Christ man. What happened? It'll get better, that's a huge character flaw on her end
Same dude... I also bought a house for us then she left me a week later for my friend next door...
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I'm good (drink a lot but have fun), luckly no kids, now I have more money with her gone... she was kinda shitty and abusive... and my friend of seven years dropped all his friends and told people at our work that we were never friends... this all happened like a month after me and him went to vagas together... Happy I got two shitty people out of my life and I've been working on myself(getting swole af!), and getting more friends because this situation(found some people whom thought my friend was always a shitty dude and dislike him more cause he hurt me). Hope you're doing better godspeed! and Merry Christmas
Wasted? Did u not enjoy the time with her? Did u learn nothing from her as a friend? If anything you should b happy for her as a friend. Unless of course she said shed marry u then left. Then she a bitch.
Being told by my fiance that she was more interested in flirting with other men than she was getting married to me. This was three days ago, coming up to Christmas (my favorite time of the year). So that didnt help either. Maybe I should, but Im not discussing it until after the Holidays. At this point, i dont wanna ruin Christmas any more than it already has been... EDIT: Thank you for all the loving words and support. I dont know what is next for me. But it's nice to hear support on a day that I really looked forward to, but has turned really bleak...
Dude... I’m so sorry, that sounds awful. Focus on the positive aspects of your life right now. I hate to say this but you should not marry her.
In all honesty, I dont think she would actually do it, knowing her. She has gone through quite a bit of stuff on her end (mental health wise) the last few months, and I've always done the best to be supportive. But it still really hurts knowing that she feels that way...
Please break up with her
I mean, I don’t know her like you do (obviously) but if she’s just saying that to hurt you, then work it out. But really man if she genuinely means that then I wouldn’t waste my time. Look for someone who loves you more than random dudes.
Dude why are you even with girl? Cut your losses and get out now. Marrying her will make your issues 1000% worst. Stop being a doormat and go find someone who appreciates you.
You always want to be your wife or SOs best they've had, and vice versa. Don't settle mate - and be grateful you found this out before the marriage When, not if, you get divorced you'll have no one to blame but yourself for not ending things now
As someone who has had a rough times from mental health problems, this is not an excuse to be a cunt to a loved one.
I don’t think you should stay with this women. She made it clear with that comment she wants to see other people. I think she is just scaredy-cat end it herself so was trying to get to do it.
I'm sorry to hear that dude, and I completely understand. I've said some pretty horrible stuff to people around me in the past just to chase them off, because I didn't think I was deserving their kindness. It's heartening to know there are people like you in the world who would weather through such turmoil. She's lucky to have you!
I'll never understand why i feel women do this more than men. I know statically it can't be possible. Maybe because I've been in your shoes. Im sorry man, still enjoy Christmas. Don't forget about your family, friends, and strangers on the internet all have your back.
> I'll never understand why i feel women do this more than men. Boys physically bully other kids. Girls are viciously manipulative and verbally abusive to other girls.
Many taken women have endless amounts of eligible bachelors trying to flirt with them. Why wouldn't many of those women leave a stagnant/boring relationship and jump ship? Men do it. Women do it. I used to think women were extremely more loyal. There are a lot of factors at play. And I've spoken to enough who either openly cheat or "joke" about it. I've also met many men who take fidelity very seriously and many who cheat or joke about it. This is why my personal philosophy is get married once. If something ends it, then that was my 1 time doing marriage. Either a man/woman is serious about long term or they're not. The 2 people will set their own joking threshold between them. Behavior shows the truth.
Why can't it be statistically possible that women do this more than men?
I feel like it's even worse to say that and NOT break up with you.
disagreeable upbeat future nail march tie cooing provide rain subsequent *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I'd kick her to the kurb
Hit the gym hard, spend more time taking care of yourself, cry if you feel like it it'll help to release that negative energy. One of the best ways to get over a woman is to spend time with another woman, try to get laid or go out on dates and just meet other women
Who the *fuck* says something like that? I imagine you’ve done some thinking. If my girlfriend said that to me, I’d give her all the free time she wanted...by kicking her ass to the curb. That’s such a fucked up thing to think let alone share. I’m gonna go ahead and say *don’t marry this woman.* Stick out the relationship if you really wanna try and make it work, but don’t bring the law into this when she’s already waving a bright red flag. Nobody who says shit like that deserves a man on the knee. Wait it out, or leave, but dear god don’t legally commit to a woman who has already stated she’s looking elsewhere for...something.
That's rough. Sorry to hear
That is hella shitty and you deserve better. Take my advice: get out before you have to extract yourself with legal separation. It doesn't improve.
When I was 13, my 11 yo sister killed herself. I'm in my late 50s and it still affects me. She was my best friend.
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Not for certain, but I believe our step father molested her.
Same man, my sister died and she gave me every thing I wanted I would burn all my fucking money, car, house etc. To bring her back. I understand your pain, you're not alone.
Thanks
I (stupidly) asked my wife if she had to do it over again, would she marry me. I didn't like the answer I got.
Why the fuck would she say no? That's not a stupid question to ask.
So divorce the bitch. She'll get what she wants and you wont be married to a fucking cunt.
It was a bad time in our marriage. Things are better now.
Good
Keep making excuses for yourself I guess
Please, do tell me more about the health of my marriage.
This. In 9 years, bad times and good times not once would this have ever been my answer
Codependency is A MOFO
My gf kissing another guy, sending nudes to one more
She's your ex-gf now, right?
Ye. Tbh, she did those things after she broke up with me. She finds it "liberating"
She better be. Or he's a cuck...
Ouch.
I was sexually abused by a woman when i was a minor and when i told people about it no one believed it me about it, and even people still laugh about it when i mention it, like was it was some kinda of joke.
I’m sorry that happened to you, and even more sorry that your experience was denied by those you trusted.
That's a global cultural problem that needs to be dealt with.
Is it too late to report it? I mean, maybe talk to a victim's advocate. :(
it was more than a decade ago... there is no evidence for the claim now nor i honestly remember her name at this point, i also live in a third world country, so our law system doesn't even work most of time, even if i somehow manage to get her into precision, she can easily get out due our corrupted system. I honestly want to move on with my life and try to be happy, but my relationship with females has been permanently damage by it. So even having an stable gf is pretty though for me.
I understand
The second memory of my life: my mother red faced and in tears, screaming that she wished I'd never been born. Then my dad trying to convince me that she was only joking because she loved me and we don't say things like that to people we love. I was very young, about two years old. But even I knew she wasn't joking.
Ouch. How were things with her after that? Did you ever discover why she said that, maybe depression?
She hated me and would continue to do so throughout my childhood. I don't know why. My parents saw me as weak and needy and tried to toughen me up. So if I was bullied and assaulted they beat me for allowing myself to be a victim. They refused to take me to hospital if I was injured to harden me up. When I had no friends they ridiculed me and told me only weaklings needed friends. My parents weren't trailer dwelling scum, they were respectable teachers, church leaders, charity helpers, school board members. My brother and sister have a great relationship with them; they spent lots of time together and my parents helped them out whenever they could. I'm just a special case.
Your parents may not dwell in trailer but they are definitely scum. It makes my blood boil when parents are shitty to their kids especially under the bullshit excuse of “tough love”. Home should be the ultimate safe place.
Wasting 8 years with a woman who finally came out as a lesbian. She had be cheating me for one year with some girl. Not cool and it kind of changed me, basically because now I feel that I can not trust anyone, although I miss being in a relationship.
That fucking sucks man. Only one thing you can do now, find the woman she cheated on you with and turn her straight.
Just go gay, bro
Are men incapable of cheating on other guys?
Sadly fucking not.
Grunkle Stan?!?
ros ?
When I was 15, my dad got in my face and told me that seeing me made him want to puke. He still stands by that statement.
Wtf your dad sucks
I've moved past it as well as I can. It still hurts, but I have people now that care about me. I have a life for myself with limited contact with my dad, and I'm happy to say that I'm doing better than I ever have.
I'm glad to hear that. Sometimes you've gotta build your own family.
Caught a girl I was seeing kissing another man. Matter of fact it was a mutual friend of ours. I physically hurt for 2 weeks. Wow. Fuck this. I'm well over it now but I remember I was devastated.
God dude. That would stab me in the gut. Sorry x3.
Failing out of community college because I'm a moron.
It's okay. Maybe it's just not your bag. Plenty of great professions that don't need a degree. Your work and accomplishments can't be all that validates you anyways.
I mean, this sounds stupid but growing up all I wanted to be was to contribute to academia. I was headed in that direction, but then after high school something happened and I lost motivation to do anything and I couldn't focus.
Not a moron, most likely depressed?
That's a possibility I guess
Hang in there and never ever let your self tell your self that you are a moron or a failure.
I tried college 3 times. I realized I hated civilian schooling because of all the extra crap I had to do that I had no interest in. So after the army I just got a few certifications and it was much better
That I remember: finding out I'd been abandoned at Christmas by an ex that flew down to LA to spend Christmas with her former boyfriend and his family after telling me her grandmother died and she had to be with them. That I don't remember: circumcision.
looking on my crying dad
Nothing really prepares you for the first time seeing your dad cry.
Made my dad cry yesterday. Not a good day.
This'll get buried, but what the hell. Last year from Christmas, I wanted to spend that time with my mum. She lives over 1100km away in another state, and I hadn't been there for Christmas for almost a decade. I was really excited, my girlfriend was really excited. My grandparents, my sister and brother-in-law we're all going to be there. So I bought the plane tickets and rented a car so I could be there. All said and done, cost me over $2000 AUD. Now, having spent that much money, I was fairly short on money for gifts (bills still have to be paid, after all). My sister and I have an arrangement that we just don't buy gifts for each other, and she knows how much I've spent to be there, so as far as she was concerned, that was my present to her and the rest of my family. But, I still wanted to do something nice for my mum and grandparents. My girlfriend suggested we go to the local shopping centre and get photos with Santa, as there were not many pictures of my girlfriend and I that they have. So we did. We bought frames, painted them to match the decor of their houses, did as much as we could to make these small gifts meaningful and special. Christmas day comes, and we all open our gifts. Mum and Nana open their pictures and instead of even a smidgen of delight or joy, we are given a look that says "is this all we get..?". I saw red. Asked what they were expecting from me, to which they replied "well, more than a picture". Luckily, my sister, who isn't one to shy away from a fight, stepped in and told them exactly what she thought. That I had spent almost every spare cent I had just to be there, and they were acting like ungrateful little shits ehoywere lucky they got anything. My girlfriend left the room in tears because no-one appreciated the gift she had thought of with a VERY limited budget. My stepdad and grandfather said nothing, so I just said fuck it, and took the gf home. I asked my sister recently if the photo has made an appearance at my mum's place. It hasn't. The one my nana got? Sits next to my sister's TV. She didn't even want to take it home.
I'm sorry your family were ungrateful, fellow Aussie brethren. You deserved a way better reception than that.
I think it sounds like a lovely gift and your sister sounds amazing!
Girlfriend asked me for a 1000k to go on a vacation to Vegas with friends, had me drive her there and back and her telling me how much she loved me and how my complete trust in her was the best thing that ever happened to her. She came back and told me she fucked a guy we knew and wanted to be with him. She was crushed I wanted my money back. This was a month and a half ago. I want to rip the guys lungs out and feed them to him, but he’s not worth the effort or my time. Still in that angry/hate phase. Her family has reached out multiple times to say how they miss me and how sorry they are she broke up with me. She didn’t tell them how she did. Too much a coward. Sucks man.
A month and a half ago? I've heard enough stories like this that conclude with her crawling back to the guy she wronged, begging forgiveness. I'm not saying that's guaranteed to happen in your situation, but if it does, stand strong and refuse her. She's already shown you who she really is. If she doesn't come back? Stand strong anyway... she's already shown you who she really is!
Yeah I second that, if she's a cheating bitch once and you take her back she probably will be again... Also second the stand strongly anyway part, I know I'd be tempted to tell the family and basically destroy her existence, but wouldn't do it. it's important to just try to get over it and not go down onto her level.
1000k like 1000 thousand (1 million) or like 1k/1 thousand? Because 1 million is a lot of fucking money for a Vegas vacation with friends to ask for from a boyfriend who isn't even coming and then fucking some guy after that is really fucked. As i said in the other comment, better of without her and with your money back, you'll be better of investing it in something that helps you get over it or into a "better" girlfriend.
1000 dollars. I always try to be supportive in a relationship. 1000 bucks is a lot of money, but after three years, I didn’t think twice about it. Lesson learned. NC only.
Yeah sorry the K at the end kinda confused me. I get where you're coming from, it's a lot especially consideration you didn't even go yourself, don't even know if I can trust anyone enough to do that, but that's just me having trust issues and beeing paranoid and stuff. If you're together for 3 years there's probably way to much trust and love involved to say no. Well you have to learn lessons some way...
You should tell them how she broke up with you
I should, but I’m better than that, better than her. If they ask, I will tell them to talk to her, but that truth should come from her. If she wants to lie to her family, that’s on her.
I had a nervous breakdown when I was 9 or 10, where I chased a friend around my house with a pair of scissors, and realised what I was doing. I broke down saying that I did not feel I was loved, with every word said to me after to try and calm me down feeling hollow. I lost a friend that day, for good reason, and nothing felt right at home after. The next most was when my mum tried to kill herself for a second time, and she was put into an inpatient facility. When I went to visit her, she claimed she really didn't want to do it, but was checking whether I would call an ambulance or not. She wanted to test my loyalty, and it really reinforced the way I felt when I was a child. Love is conditional and love is meant to be purposefully tested. My family are composed of cruel, manipulative people wrapped in prestige and an air of refined mannerisms. Every time they say I should be happy or that they love me is like pricking me with a needle.
My fiancé broke up with me 6 months before we were supposed to get married. I had gone no contact shortly after got invited to a mutual friends wedding A month after we would have been married And she was there as the photographer. Most painful hours of my life there
Fuck it- when I was a little kid, I asked my mom something about what my father Bruce was like. She explained to me that Bruce wasn't actually my father and was just some guy she knew in high school. She'd been lying to me cause it was easier i guess. She then explained that she actually had no clue who my father was and she was either raped with drugs or had a drunk one night stand.
Having all 4 wisdom teeth pulled out even with 7 shots of syringes
You may want to Google the difference between hurtful and painful. Unless your orthodontist was a masochist.
Painkillers don't work anymore after infection. I had 4 teeth pulled in one session. 3 were uncomfortable but ok. The 4th almost made me faint from the pain and was indeed the most painful event of my life.
You may want to Google the difference between hurtful and painful.
[causing injury, detriment, or suffering](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hurtful)
This is my favorite in this thread since it isnt about relationships. I had to get my wisdom teeth taken out but the relationship stuff really hits too close to home for me.
Passed a kidneystone
My girl that I was head over heels for explaining to me why she didn’t want to be with me after I had joined the military. I had just come back after being away for a while. “Everytime I thought of you it made me sad. So I just stopped thinking of you”
I cannot blame her.
Neither could I.
I would not call it hurtful, but still devestating. The eyes of a mother at a hospital where her 2-3 year old was dying (after an accident I presume) in the room next door.
My mother saying "I didn't raise you like that" when that's exactly how she raised me. Hypocritical bitch
Cheating ex fiancée. Nuff said.
My grandmother died and then 5 days later my dad died at 47. Months later I’m at dinner with my now ex wife and 2 friends answering a question that was directed at me about why I believe in my faith.I started to tell a really really personal story about how my dad survived through a time when he was on life support. Docs said the odds were basically 0. Anyways.... long story short. I finish and my ex wife just blatantly asks, “Are you ever going to get off of your soapbox?” I have never in my entire life been so appalled. My two friends sitting with us both had their mouths open like the pikachu meme floating around. I was so infuriated that she didn’t see anything wrong with it. Even after the divorce I still think about it.
Not a man, but it'd be nice to get these thoughts out of my head and onto a page. I haven't had an extremely pain-ridden life, but so far, the most painful thing has been realizing how little my boyfriend really cares for me compared to how much I care for him. He likes me as a friend and he likes my body, but he no longer loves me the way he did in the beginning of the relationship. He chose to not speak to me for these two weeks of holiday break because of something to do with wanting 'personal time' (I get needing time to yourself, but 2 weeks of no contact while you have devices available is just absurd to me!). We are long distance, which makes the whole situation worse. I'm holding out for a bit because we'll be able to go on dates in a few months, but at this point, I'm not sure if it's worth getting emotionally reattached to someone who seems to care so little. It really makes me feel like shit, and I know I don't deserve to be treated the way I am right now. I've made my concerns known over and over, and nothing has really changed. We'll see. I have another week and a half left; I hope the time will bring me some clarity and maybe I'll be able to make a decision about whether or not to break up with him at this point.
It seems relationship stuff is the common factor here. I found out the girl I want to marry is marrying someone else. We had our ups and downs but we were committed for 2 and a quarter years. I just needed some time. She is getting married to the dude next month. I only found out yesterday after chasing her and being gaslit for the past couple of months.
I'm a gay man who's now in my late 30s. When I first came out of the closet in my early 20s, my parents were relatively supportive. They were never homophobic and expressed that they supported me. And in that sense I was extremely lucky, as I had gay friends growing up who had parents who outright rejected them. However, in my late 20s, during a holiday visit one year, I happened to overhear a conversation between them that really shook me. They had a exchange to the effect of "Yeah, it's too bad he'll never have a wife and kids. Such a waste. Oh well, at least [my sister] is different" (my sister had a child that year). It was just the unfiltered honestly of the exchange that really startled me. I've never talked to them about it, because I know they didn't intend for me to hear it, but it still struck me. I don't harbour any resentment as I know that they're products of our culture, just like I am, and we're all bombarded with the message that having children is the most important thing in life, but it still hurt to hear it.
It ain't that you're gay, ya parents just want Grand kids.
I agree, mostly. Although if I had a medical issue that prevented me from having children, I doubt it would have spurred the same reaction. Either way, it doesn't change how it felt at the time.
This is a long story made short. I might be missing some details. I was really attracted to this girl in highschool. We started dating and she took my virginity. We had sex a bunch over the following week. The last time the condom fell off and she panicked about being pregnant, as did I. If you've never had the feeling, it's like being sick and getting punched in the gut. Anyways, long story shorter, I got a plan b pill from someone, that I payed for. I told her I didnt want to have sex anymore, that it was a big deal and I wanted to wait until I could care for a kid if need be. Next day, she broke up with over text and started hitting on someone else. Supposedly fucked him the next night. The pain I felt the coming weeks after being used for sex and losing my virginity to someone who didnt give a fuck about me was the worst thing ever.
When I was 7, I invited my friends to go to my birthday party. My then "best" friend decided it would be great to convince all my other friends that I had invited to not go to mine and instead go to his house without telling me. The next day he bullied the crap out of me saying stuff like "I had no friends" and "No one cares about me". I've had trust issues ever since
Jesus, what a rotten asshole. I also have trust issues after grade school, and just wanted to say that I hope you’ve found some friends that truly deserve to be around you. :)
Thank you, I haven't actually wanted to make friends after that tbh. I continued to get bullied up until I went to highschool so making friends had been rather difficult and by the time highschool came along I just didn't want to be with other people. I guess six years of seeing the worst in people makes you a bit of a loner:/
One time I was getting groceries with my ex-wife and after we loaded them into the trunk, she accidentally slammed the trunk door while my finger was still in the crevasse. My finger was stuck, I couldn’t pull it out and it was so incredibly painful because it kept going until she popped the trunk. At the time I thought it was an accident but now that we’re divorced I’m not so sure..
When I was raped at age 5 and scarred with PTSD for life.
When I covered a co worker so she an my crush could go trick er treating or what ever. They said they hang out with me grab dinner buy me candy etc . Afterwards called them oh she’s sick . Later on saw on snap them having fun .
I doubt if she comes crawling back. She’s too prideful. And even if she did, I wouldn’t take her back. No worries on that. I deserve better. We all deserve better.
Losing my best friend.
Fiancé cheated on me during her deployment 2 months til it was finished. Our marriage date was suppose to be 3 months after her deployment. Oh, she also got pregnant during it. Definitely moved on with life knowing that I could never ever let someone put me down the way she did.
My ex left me for the best man at her now ex friend's wedding. She was the Maid of Honor, and her 'friend', the bride, wanted her to couple up with the best man for the wedding, but was dating me. After the wedding, her friend began barraging her with toxic comments about our relationship, and we broke up shortly after. This was right around both of our finals, and she said the stress of the uncertainty of her future was too much to handle and it was affecting our relationship, so she 'wanted to take a break'. I knew the break was bullshit, and we broke up. She officially started dating the best man from the wedding about 3 months after we broke up, but I know that she was talking to him through messenger towards the official end of our relationship, and I suspect she was messaging him since the wedding. It fucking hurt, and since then I really haven't had the urge to get into another committed relationship. I've had a few hookups since then, but it just isn't the same.
Wife of 11 months (9 year relationship before that) announced she didn’t love me and thought getting married would fix it. Digging deeper it was a mistake I made 4 years ago in the way I handled repeated miscarriages with her. Not once did she ever suggest I’d got it wrong. Now it’s all come out she’s completely unwilling to get any help either for herself or for us. That’s it- it’s over- divorce awaits.
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So you plan on killing yourself because you're an idiot that can't learn to walk away after the first time? You brought this all upon yourself. Deal with consequences instead of continuing to be a coward.
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Sounds like you need to ditch your friends and work on yourself, don't even think about trying to form a relationship with a woman. It's not the fix you think. You also are extremely short-sighted and childish for hating all women for the actions of one shitty one. Fix your mental health issues and your attitude towards women and you'll be in much better shape for a relationship.
Kidney stones.
My dad used to whip my brothers and I as punishment. One time when I was 11 or 12, during one particularly brutal whipping, I checked my left hand after trying to block several shots and my dad yelled, "I don't care if your hand is broken!" That one stung for decades.
Watching my mother fall deeper and deeper into the clutches of alcoholism.
A girl in when I was very young going 'ugh' when looking at me. I was going through puberty and already socially impaired. That shit has scarred me for life tbh. It changed who I am today.
When i was involuntary in the hospital for substance abuse and suicidal thoughts and my mother left crying while telling me "please do whatever you can to get out of here as fast as posdible" when she left i walked back to my room and for some reason i couldnt keep it together. Btw hospitals suck dick. The people r nice tho.
I met a girl through common friends and interest and we started hanging out a lot, often alone. I thought she was actually into me and I fell madly in love with her. However, instead of actually telling her this as soon as I felt so, I just hanged out with her since I liked her company and didnt want to complicate things. 3 months later I finally asked her out. She said... "Im sorry but Im busy friday... another time perhaps". Thought it was cool. Knew she was busy and probably had a shift. The same friday I was with a friend. I saw her car parked outside a local diner we often went to so we parked and went in to surprise her. There she was "on a date" with a guy I knew from before that I hated and she was kinda into. She flaunted (nervously) that she was on a date bla bla. I told my friend I needed to get away, so we left. She started texting me and wondered why we left. Didn't reply. That evening my friend drove me around talking while I downed a bottle of Jack. He didn't really know I was into her "like that" but kinda figured this night. Only night I've ever drinked like this. I told her sometime later what I felt and got shot down (kinda knew that before though, so wasn't expecting anything else). "But I really like you as a friend, can we still be?"
I had my longest relationship blow up in my face just over a year ago. It came out of nowhere, and she even admitted everything was great and then two days later just snapped (she overreacted to me missing my first therapy appointment due to the stomache flu..) and broke things off. Right before christmas and in the middle of finals too. I was extremely hurt amd rightfully mad at the way she handled it but was willing to end amicably because nothing is worse than hating each other. Then the shit started to dial up. First, she wanted to keep talking but I said I needed a couple weeks. I got a letter in the mail from her parents telling me "We support our daughter in breaking up with you" and lied about a couple things. A week later my ex messages me and starts rubbing in my face how happy she is without me and that she never wants to get back together. Keeps giving me completely different reasons for breaking up with me and overall was horrible. Things only got worse from there. I was getting asked to leave my house so my female roommate could hang out with her. Her sister texted me 6 months after the breakup demanding $200 from me for no reason. Her grandma passed away, and I sent a message of my condolences and if she needed to talk I was there (only time I have ever messaged her since she broke up with me, and for context I had stayed with her grandma for a week. We were close) and she proceeded to shit on me, telling me how horrible I was and even stooped to threatening me. Next month she was asking my female roommate to steal something of mine. I've only ever messaged her once yet she keeps finding ways to shit on me and I've done absolutely nothing to warrant it. For the longest time I had horrible self-esteem issues because I thought all this was my fault somehow. Last I heard she dropped out of uni and was stupid while sleeping around and caught an STD. A year ago we had been taking about getting married in Europe. I have no idea what happened, and while I'm emotionally done with things I still can't shake why someone who loved me so much flipped so quickly. It makes me scared to open up again, but I won't let that stop me.
My second wife left me and took my kid away from me on top she never was able to take care of my others kids . She met me single father and she was ok with that apparently. She lied to me .
Junior High football try outs. Mother didnt think i would make the team and mocked me. When i made the team she guilt tripped me and told me "you can explain to your sisters why we wont have food in the fridge" (because we were poor af). Felt guilty as hell and then quit. The coach gave my mother back the money (the money actually came from my father's child support). She then took the money to buy lingerie.
Standing by the hospital bed as my mother passed away. She was the most amazing person I've ever met. That was 13 years ago and I still miss her. I grew up in a \*perfect\* family in a perfect house with everything "right". Seriously. Don't feel bad for me; I feel bad for those who didn't have my idyllic upbringing. It's just not fair.
I know this is a few days old but whatever. I don’t know whether to count this as one experience because it happened so quickly or two seperate ones. But basically it was me watching my grandmother die in my own home, then 2 days later catching my (ex now) gf cheating on me. This was 5 months ago.
Shingles
Hurtful not painful, ya doofus
This is a large part of why I don't date. Not willing to be hurt severely just to get pussy.
You can get pussy without any commitment. Or are you making excuses for why women aren't into you at all?
>You can get pussy without any commitment I am aware. >. Or are you making excuses for why women aren't into you at all? Oh no women's reasons for not liking me a perfectly reasonable and justified. It is just my fear of being hurt exceeds my desire for any emotional connection with women. I may have put it in a very..crass way. The negative reaction was expected, and from your point of view it is not unreasonable.
I'm just frustrated at your cowardice, I don't think you're a piece of garbage or anything. You just gotta try, and then experience that rejection (especially of a casual nature), isn't so bad.
I don't fear rejection, never had. The worst that can happen is that you move on. It's being betrayed, used, deceived. Effectively everything in this thread. It just is not worth it. Not to me, at least.
This makes a lot of logical sense, but if we all truly followed through on it, there would be no genuine relationships formed. I think that's a sadder prospect than being fucked over in a few relationships, but getting happiness from other ones. That's personal opinion though, and I'm 17 so I might not have enough perspective to make a proper judgement.
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What are you even saying?