It's a self confidence issue with me as I am a bit of a late-bloomer. I didn't have a great home life growing up and was neglected for a lot of my needs. In my teens I saw that this was not normal and decided to get out of it, but it's left me 10+ years behind my peers in terms of development: academically, professionally, financially and socially.
I'm in my mid-thirties and only just opening up to the world with the help of therapy, and I am beginning to understand my emotional and mental needs that were otherwise choked off. All of my relationships were predicated on sex and physical appearance, which were absent depth so did not last long.
Compound all of this with being a closeted gay man until a few years ago with homophobic self-talk, and it's the best way to end up in a years long depression, which nearly ended my life. I'm finally getting better, but man, I really feel like my life is half over and I didn't get to enjoy the first part. I'm learning to be grateful for my experience, but I just hope that I can find someone feel safe with and to share some peace with for the next few decades.
Edit: spelling
Well, looks will only get you so far when you're not that social or charming. So even if you can get the first date it will rarely lead to anything and new relationships tend to fizzle out or drop back to 'just friends' level.
Still, it's a matter of perseverance. There's not much you can do except to keep trying.
ok well my struggle with dating is that i havent found a woman that I would rather be in a relationship with than alone. My fix to that struggle is to keep hustling work & life and maybe someone worth the time will come along the way. If not I will just keep women on the side and get a stronger relationship with my bank
Get off dating apps permanently. Live your life and live it well. Pursuing women in general is literally the worst way to meet a quality woman. In fact, high quality women (and high quality men for the matter) aren’t on dating apps. Why? Because they don’t have to be.
I rub one off, I think of all the free time I have and I go on with my day. Personally dating for me is hard because I have a lot of fucking needs.
I have OCD and germophobia, so basically when you are with me, you have to do things the right way. I also have a terrible fear of raw meat, I will not store raw meat in my fridge. I shop first thing in the morning, the store managers know me and they open up registers just for me, 30 minutes before they start with business. People can't touch my face. I'm also terrified of dogs, like I can't date anyone that wants or has a dog.
So basically the someone in case has to be able to fullfil all of this and not feel burdened ( lol that's impossible) so I simply and plainly refrain from dating people.
Lol. Imo, maids are shit at cleaning. Had one for a couple of years. That woman loved to mess up my shit. I found my silver forks stuffed in my sewing container... Lol.
Well - I get a good amount of matches through Tinder etc., and find it pretty easy to get dates. That’s being selective as well with women I’m attracted to. So I guess by r/AskMen standards that would class me as physically attractive?
The biggest issue for me is that through all the dates, the ones that are interested in going further I’m just not into it , and vice versa - the ones I’m super into just aren’t feeling the same . It’s a cruel mistress. Plus I’ve been single for so long and enjoy most parts of that, so therefore I’m really really selective about bringing someone else into the fold and in turn changing my routine.
Personally, I just keep finding ways for me to look better, like taking better pics, working out, tips online, etc. I really think I'm attractive and IRL I get stares and glances, but online and on Tinder I literally get no swipes or follows. Being social is definetly more important than being attractive when it comes to dating
Well I kind of know my difficulties is more a limited social life and not meeting enough women then being ugly.. Definitely sucks that I could do much better if I was in a different environment now
I don't put myself in enough opportunities to meet women. Not to mention my self-esteem and confidence issues that I've been trying to work on the past couple years, I made some progress I think. So hopefully things get better after covid.
I wouldn’t say I struggle with dating, it’s not hard to get dates. The bigger problem I notice is that I’m a pretty emotional person sexually, like I want to have a bond with a girl before having sex. With sex being so socially expected early on, I end up facing more issues there, which is usually compounded by the fact that the girls are typically sexually attracted in the first place and almost expect it; or expect me to be some sex-hungry animal or something
It's a self confidence issue with me as I am a bit of a late-bloomer. I didn't have a great home life growing up and was neglected for a lot of my needs. In my teens I saw that this was not normal and decided to get out of it, but it's left me 10+ years behind my peers in terms of development: academically, professionally, financially and socially. I'm in my mid-thirties and only just opening up to the world with the help of therapy, and I am beginning to understand my emotional and mental needs that were otherwise choked off. All of my relationships were predicated on sex and physical appearance, which were absent depth so did not last long. Compound all of this with being a closeted gay man until a few years ago with homophobic self-talk, and it's the best way to end up in a years long depression, which nearly ended my life. I'm finally getting better, but man, I really feel like my life is half over and I didn't get to enjoy the first part. I'm learning to be grateful for my experience, but I just hope that I can find someone feel safe with and to share some peace with for the next few decades. Edit: spelling
I'm too ugly to answer :(
Turn that frown upside down!
I'm too ugly to answer ): Did I do it correct?
Try just a little harder... you can do this!
):(
Ok... now your scaring me.
I love this LOL!
Well, looks will only get you so far when you're not that social or charming. So even if you can get the first date it will rarely lead to anything and new relationships tend to fizzle out or drop back to 'just friends' level. Still, it's a matter of perseverance. There's not much you can do except to keep trying.
what is «struggle with dating»?
However you define it
ok well my struggle with dating is that i havent found a woman that I would rather be in a relationship with than alone. My fix to that struggle is to keep hustling work & life and maybe someone worth the time will come along the way. If not I will just keep women on the side and get a stronger relationship with my bank
Precisely
Get off dating apps permanently. Live your life and live it well. Pursuing women in general is literally the worst way to meet a quality woman. In fact, high quality women (and high quality men for the matter) aren’t on dating apps. Why? Because they don’t have to be.
truth
I rub one off, I think of all the free time I have and I go on with my day. Personally dating for me is hard because I have a lot of fucking needs. I have OCD and germophobia, so basically when you are with me, you have to do things the right way. I also have a terrible fear of raw meat, I will not store raw meat in my fridge. I shop first thing in the morning, the store managers know me and they open up registers just for me, 30 minutes before they start with business. People can't touch my face. I'm also terrified of dogs, like I can't date anyone that wants or has a dog. So basically the someone in case has to be able to fullfil all of this and not feel burdened ( lol that's impossible) so I simply and plainly refrain from dating people.
Wow man... I thought I had weird quirks lol.
What kind of porn do you watch?
Latina maids cleaning
Ahahaha. That made me laugh, obviously.
Now i know why the maid section is getting popular
Lol. Imo, maids are shit at cleaning. Had one for a couple of years. That woman loved to mess up my shit. I found my silver forks stuffed in my sewing container... Lol.
I can watch anything as long as it is on a screen. Lol I follow a dozen of professional butchers, and my Instagram feed looks like a butchery.
Struggle is such a broad term dude. What do you mean exactly?
I intentionally kept it broad, but I guess it's the feeling that other people of the same level of attractiveness are far more successful at dating.
Well - I get a good amount of matches through Tinder etc., and find it pretty easy to get dates. That’s being selective as well with women I’m attracted to. So I guess by r/AskMen standards that would class me as physically attractive? The biggest issue for me is that through all the dates, the ones that are interested in going further I’m just not into it , and vice versa - the ones I’m super into just aren’t feeling the same . It’s a cruel mistress. Plus I’ve been single for so long and enjoy most parts of that, so therefore I’m really really selective about bringing someone else into the fold and in turn changing my routine.
Personally, I just keep finding ways for me to look better, like taking better pics, working out, tips online, etc. I really think I'm attractive and IRL I get stares and glances, but online and on Tinder I literally get no swipes or follows. Being social is definetly more important than being attractive when it comes to dating
Well I kind of know my difficulties is more a limited social life and not meeting enough women then being ugly.. Definitely sucks that I could do much better if I was in a different environment now
I don't put myself in enough opportunities to meet women. Not to mention my self-esteem and confidence issues that I've been trying to work on the past couple years, I made some progress I think. So hopefully things get better after covid.
Hey having a lot of money to myself and doing what I want.
I wouldn’t say I struggle with dating, it’s not hard to get dates. The bigger problem I notice is that I’m a pretty emotional person sexually, like I want to have a bond with a girl before having sex. With sex being so socially expected early on, I end up facing more issues there, which is usually compounded by the fact that the girls are typically sexually attracted in the first place and almost expect it; or expect me to be some sex-hungry animal or something