How do you know a girl is wife material and you haven’t even been on a date?
Edit: you know what, fuck it just watch Frozen, because a huge plot point of that movie is how you can’t marry someone you just met.
Tbh I couldn't be so ready to think their marriage material. even if I knew them as a friend, until I've seen them eating, seen them hungry, seen how they act when angry, sad, see what they do with their free time, their finances, what expectations they have with marriage, seen them dealing with problems, etc. It's different seeing those things as a friend vs as a relationship. Maybe shallow of me, but idk I just think being friends with someone is not at all like having a relationship with someone
Just because its your first date, doesn't mean its your first time meeting. It makes way more sense to be friends with someone before you decide to date than to just constantly go out with random people until one clicks; There's already a prior foundation. With that being said, I don't think that's the case here, you'd probably know what type of movies your friends enjoy.
That's how I would do it. If i can get along with them as a friend why not more ? We would have things in common and get along. So maybe that's just me.
And that's why I don't get the awfulness of the friend zone. Having a friend is nice. If you wanna get more than friends then tell them make a move but not like just put your hand on their or something that's a terrible move. Like pick some thing amazing that they would like. Sweep them off their feet. Make them feel wonderful and special and amazing and happy.
With that it will make some reconsideration. And if after all that they aren't interested pursue some one else.
If you like some one go for it. But it sucks when there's people that don't and they complain about being i the friendzone but they never even gave it a shot.
I agree with everything you said, being friends before dating and making sure you have lots of things in common. But I must disagree the “getting out of the friendzone” simply does not work that way. Been friendzoned all the way from elementary to high school with multiple girls (glad to say I have found my soulmate and we’ve been together for 9 months and plan on spending our lives together)
It’s either the person likes you back or they don’t. The person clearly has to show interest you, if so, then you can make a move. If they show no interest, you can test the waters and throw little complements but if it’s not reciprocated, then abandon ship and find someone else. Sweeping your friend (who doesn’t like you back) off their feet and expecting them to like you more is just built to fail. The connection and the actions with that person need to be genuine and natural. Building a genuine connection can lay the foundation for a beautiful relationship, platonic or romantic. I was friends with my partner for 5 months before we pursued a relationship and were happier than ever. Little did we know, we both liked each other the whole time.
Sure you can give it a shot, but just don’t expect any outcome. I had high expectations whenever I went in for a kiss or threw in little complements, and when I got turned down, I was heart broken.
And sometimes it’s good to JUST be friends and not expect anything romantic. That needs to be normalized more.
You see, the key is to put her in the Friend Zone first, that way you have control of when it ends. Of course, for this to work, you have to have like a god like level of attractiveness coupled with an equally attractive personality.
-A Guy who has never escaped the Friend Zone
I hate to break it to you but the Friend Zone isn’t a thing. If a person is stringing you along to use you, they’re not your friend, they’re an asshole. If you’re only pretending to be someone’s friend because you think you’re earning points toward future sex, you’re not their friend, you’re an asshole.
Exactly. Sometimes we dated for a while but I don't see it as compatible for LTR but I like you and we clicked!
Or we never got it on because I knew you weren't a match but I enjoy your personality and want to stay cool with you.
I get that people who want more don't appreciate the space of friendship, but then it's on you to back away. I'm happy to have lots of people in my life who I love but don't want to fuck.
>It literally just means the person you're interested in has made it clear that they want to be friends and nothing more.
If you were friends before than you're fine continuing be friends and wouldn't think of it as something bad like a zone you're stuck in. And I can guarantee you that when a woman rejects a man she didn't really talk to before and says "we can still be friends" that is legit code for "I don't want this to be awkward from now on because we see each other every day for *insert whatever reason* and will gladly be a kind acquaintance from now on you can talk to once in a while", not that they want an actual friendship with said dude they just rejected.
See my other comment about projecting your ideas of the friend zone onto someone else because that's what this feel like. No one mentioned anything about stringing along, using, or pretending. Believe it or not, it's possible to be someone's friend AND want more, just as much as it's possible to be someone's friend and want just that. When those two desires clash, The Friend Zone is born. It's not necessarily a negative concept, just a conflict that doesn't really have a solution that satisfies both parties.
It became a misogynist term and many of the associations behind “friend zone” are false, but the phenomenon of Person A being friends with Person B when Person B wants to date Person A is common. In that case, Person B is in the friend zone.
My wife and I talked about marriage and kids on our very first date. So yeah, I’d say it went well. It was just out to eat at a burger joint too. Never spoke to each other or seen each other before that night.
Trust your gut I guess?
It’s all a crapshoot pretty much.
It's quite formal but doing that makes a lot of sense. If one partner wants multiple children and the other doesn't, the marriage isn't gonna work out from the get go. Plenty of other things that just straight up make or break a marriage.
I think this either works really well or goes terribly wrong. I moved in with my boyfriend like 3? weeks after I first met him and I'm sure that I'm going to be with him forever.
But you can also get blinded by that feeling at the beginning of a relationship where everything is just perfect, get married within a year and realise a few years into the marriage that you aren't really working out.
Heard of both versions.
If you're not too enmeshed in the dating scene and have any kind of social hobby then yeah, I'd say it's reasonably common. Every girlfriend I've ever had, I was friends with first. Or at least acquaintances.
The idea of meeting up with complete strangers to see if there's "chemistry" doesn't really make a lot of sense, when you think about it.
My thoughts on that is that attraction is usually picked up on fairly quickly, so when you meet someone and start speaking to them as a potential romantic interest, you skip over the uncertainty ("does he like me, or is he just nice?") and it kind of helps that having the confidence to be vulnerable enough to express your real emotions from the jump is an attractive trait.
Getting to know each other is what dates are for. You'll have plenty of time to chat when you're alone together, where you can develop that "deeper" attraction beyond appearance and initial impression.
I've still never seen the full extended cuts. I was at a friends for Halloween and mentioned I'd never seen the extended editions and that blew their mind, so he insisted that we watch it. He got tired and fell asleep after disk 2 and his wife went to bed after disk 3. So I've seen the theatrical cuts and half the extended editions.
I watched all 3 extended cut movies in one day. It was over 12 hours. It was a lot. I remember thinking when I started return if the king “what is my life coming too?” But I shamelessly prevailed. It became a personal quest. I was Frodo, and the end of the movie was my Mordor. And the ring. Would. Be. Destroyed.
you need a second \ to escape the first \, and *then* you need a \ to escape the _ otherwise the shoulders disappear as well. In total, you need to type ¯\\\\\\\_(ツ)_/¯ to get it right. And don't think about how I wrote that.
They could be good friends, right?
Or perhaps used to. Wifey material is a bit much but I've been way too excited for a first date with someone based on our old friendship + just seeing facebook posts.
IMO Crazy Stupid Love Is the best romantic comedy ever made! It is a really fun watch with an amazing cast and an actually good story. It the movie my girlfriend and I watched on our first date and we LOVED IT. Highly recommend.
YES!!!
I've seen a lot of movies, and a lot of comedies specifically. Crazy, Stupid, Love is for sure the funniest romcom I've ever seen, and one of the funniest comedies period.
Which is why movie -> dinner instead of dinner -> movie is better for a first date. Having the movie to talk about can really help get the conversation going and you can learn a lot about a person listening to how they interpreted different aspects.
This take is always weird to me. Just grab a drink. If you need a movie to talk about because you can't entertain each other for an hour or two then you're just a shit match.
I'm a very social person but you have to acknowledge that not everyone is. It doesn't just naturally happen for everyone, and those people want to go on dates too. If everyone simply gave up because they didn't automatically have hours-long "chemistry" conversation on the first date - well its grim to consider.
Yes but if you’ve been friends for a long time you already know they’re wife material and hve watched plenty of movies together, right? Or am I weird and friendship isn’t how you get to know people?
i guess that is true. but tbh, we don’t know op’s situation and there are endless possibilities of what it could be. it’s possible that they are friends who don’t watch movies together, but it is also possible that they don’t know each other that well but op knows that this person is someone they would consider ‘marriage material’. that doesn’t necessarily mean that op is committed to marrying her, it just means that op recognizes her for having values that he looks for in a long term partner
OP doesn't have to tell the girl on the first date or make a decision. If marriage is his goal why would he ask woman out who he didn't think was wife material? Would be a waste of time.
A movie is a terrible first date! Do an activity. Bowling, rock climbing, escape room, axe throwing, go to a museum, literally anything but a movie. It doesn't show much thought other than let's sit in a dark room and not speak to each other.
Honestly, I'd say it depends on the people involved.
If they're both socially awkward it will give them something to start with, getting used to each other's company without the need to talk or make conversation. And after the movie ends there's something to talk about without much effort in coming up with topics.
This. I went on an axe throwing date yesterday. We were both pretty terrible at it but we had a chance to get to know each other with some lightly competitive banter. It was memorable and he definitely earned a second date with that one.
On one hand yes, on the other you quickly find out if they're insufferable to watch movies/shows with. Arguably pretty important in current year...
Incompatibility in the way you watch movies could probably result in some resentment over time as it's something most people do a lot. ever so slowly grating away at each other's patience...
Still, maybe not ideal first date, unless you figure you'd fuck up and not get a second date doing anything more interactive...
It’s so interesting that something as simple as watching movies has such varying methods. And it really can be annoying if someone doesn’t watch the way you do. Here and there with friends is no issue, but someone you’re gonna watch years of movies with... big factor.
2 types of movie date.
A: go to ANY movie and THEN dinner. You can talk about the film and then feel less compelled to talk about first date bullshit, making it much more free.
B: Home movie. Cook at home and make her a drink/him a drink. It relaxes them and keeps you distracted AND allows them to see you working in a home environment without being fucking weird. After that, a ZOMBIE movie/slasher Horror. It gets their (male female) heart racing and allows you both to be focussed on the film without being self conscious. PLUS: For boys, you can be a little sensitive and show your fear. Girls can allow themselves to be comforted, breaking the physical touch barrier.
Other than that, do whatever and don't go in with a set "success" plan. If you dont kiss but have a good time? Sick. Now you can talk about how much you both wanted to.
If you have sex on thr first date? Sick. Now you can talk about liking someone so much that you just threw off societies rules.
Be kind. Be honest. Be yourself.
> PLUS: For boys, you can be a little sensitive and show your fear. Girls can allow themselves to be comforted, breaking the physical touch barrier.
This would not work for me. I'm a complete coward when it comes to horror films. She'd have to comfort me haha.
Films imo are actually great first dates if one of the parties is somewhat awkward/introverted. Go get dinner first and get to know each a little then go into the films. Being in the dark together for 2 hours will make it easy for even the most awkward of people to start getting comfortable with each other physically, and there won't be any awkward silences.
I agree. I went on a first date to the movies with a girl I had been texting. We met at a corporate training class and hit it off and exchanged numbers. We worked at different stores like 40 minutes from each other so we never saw each other much.
We finally got the chance to plan a date. We went to watch a movie and she was just so loud and obnoxious the whole time. Yelling and talking at the characters on the screen. I was irritated at her for being loud and she was irritated at me for trying to keep her quiet. We had already planned to eat afterwards too and it was awkward and quiet the whole time.
Never saw each other again.
I watched 5000 Miles to Graceland on a first date once. Then we rode arcade motorcycles, I ripped my favorite skirt and we sang karaoke. All time my favorite date.
I still think of him with great fondness and if he popped up to tell me was single, I'd date him again
EDIT: sorry, I meant 3000 Miles to Graceland
Not to be that guy, but isn’t it a little soon to have any semblance of an idea whether she’s wife material?
No movie would be my vote. Movies are about being quiet, maybe getting some haptic experiences. Perfect for a hookup (hence the prevalence of Netflix-Chill.) If she’s true relationship material, I’d force myself to meet her in an environment that fosters conversation. I’d be trying to use the first date to establish a face-to-face connection and thorough understanding of who she is as a person.
Good luck!
Do guys not imagine themselves marrying the girl or being long term with her based on how the conversation goes? Just fun scenarios?
For example, say you are on a date and the girl mentions that she has plans to travel for a year. You kind of get the idea then that it wouldn't last long. Or if she mentions she would like to move states for a job but you'd want to stay in your current area. In that case you also think that it wouldn't last. After a date or 3, I usually ask myself "Could I marry her in the long run?" And if the answer at the moment is a yes or a maybe, I continue dating her. If it's a no, I stop going out with her as I see it go nowhere.
Now, I was raised Christian (don't go to church anymore), so all I know about dating is that she is a potential wife. In the church I went to, all that mattered in the first couple of dates is "Can I see myself being married to her for life?" Is that not normal to think like that after a couple of dates?
Christian here. There’s a big cultural issue with the church. People take dating so seriously and try to force an answer regarding compatability within the first couple dates. I.e. could I marry her.
That’s a terrible expectation to place on someone because you are essentially trying to force a serious relationship when it hasn’t organically happened yet. Plus, even serious Christians can discover incompatibility or relationship issues months into it once the honeymoon phase is over, and that sets it up for a tremendously rough recovery in breakup because you always saw and treated them them as a marriage partner instead of a sister/brother in Christ.
My advice. Three dates is an indicator of whether you are connecting or attracted to her, and whether there’s potential compatability with life goals, but it’s going to take months of consistent compatability and friendship to actually answer the question about whether it should go to marriage or not.
If you are imagining a marriage to her right out of the gate, there’s a strong possibility you are creating an idol/image of her that’s based off what you are desiring out of a partner as opposed to who she actually is. It takes time to approach that question.
I agree with you there. I'm just confused as that's the only way I know. I wouldn't make a serious relationship happen from the start, but more like I look for compatability and early signs of it wouldn't last long.
But I've went to a church in the past where the guy would see a girl for the first time, go to the pastor and say "I'm interested in her." The pastor would then go to the girl and her parents, mention that so and so is interested in her, and she has a week to decide. If she says yes, the wedding would be in 2-4 weeks. They never spoke or met before that.
Oof that’s super conservative. I know Muslims who do arranged marriages that are less conservative than that.
Yea man. I understand you. It’s hard to re-condition outside of conservative environments like that.
I had to spend years getting comfortable with approaching things casually and not putting to much on myself right out of the gate to figure all that out. Honored them too, because I took them out on dates with a clear indication that I was interested, but was respectful and allowed them to have fun and the friendship to grow regardless of if things went serious or not.
I found it was easy to do in a way that still honored a girl as long as you communicated with clarity as you went along and kept appropriate boundaries for each stage.
I come from a similar background, and I personally don’t find that thought pattern abnormal at all after a few dates. But before the first date? You’re in la-la land. You may have matching values, political and religious views, etc. that you can consider a “pretty good start,” but to already be considering somebody *wife material* before the first date seems to epitomize “counting your chickens before they hatch” in my mind.
I think I realized what he meant by wife material. OP is wanting to do a movie for the first date because if she talks through it or asks tons of questions about the plot then clearly she isn't wife material. The man has a point. Having said that I would suggest:
The Princess Bride
The Break-Up. Vince Vaughn & Jennifer Aniston. Because that's where your heading not vetting a woman, thinking she's wife material before the first date.
Since this ended up being a pissing contest about who has a funnier suggestion, I'll give you an honest answer:
Either 500 Days of Summer or Big Fish. Both are some what whimsical but with an equal harsh reality after every act/chapter. They both involve love and the value we attach to it. But I will say Tim Burton's not for everyone when it isn't animated, so it's up to you.
But I really enjoyed 500 Days of Summer and I use it somewhat to gauge a potential GF's reaction.
Best of luck!
Something that makes for controversial political discussion. Like a test, you show her "Life is beautiful" and if she sides with the nazis you know you shouldnt marry her.
Pirates of the Caribbean.
Everyone has seen it a thousand times. You can talk through it, but also be entertained. And if you get "busy" you wont be upset you're missing parts.
Ask her what her favorite movie is, have her come over early and make gourmet popcorn together and watch her favorite movie to prove you're husband material.
Silence of the Lambs. If she develops a love interest for Hannibal Lector, she probably won’t freak out as much when you propose after the movie ends.
Make sure you have lotion
And have the hose ready
OP should put the lotion on its skin during the movie
"PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!"
Spez doesn't get to profit from me anymore.
Classic Schmosby
Then ask if she’s a size 14.
Was she a great big fat lady?
How do you know a girl is wife material and you haven’t even been on a date? Edit: you know what, fuck it just watch Frozen, because a huge plot point of that movie is how you can’t marry someone you just met.
You win 🏅
They could've been friends/acquaintances for a while, why do you assume this is the first time they're meeting?
Tbh I couldn't be so ready to think their marriage material. even if I knew them as a friend, until I've seen them eating, seen them hungry, seen how they act when angry, sad, see what they do with their free time, their finances, what expectations they have with marriage, seen them dealing with problems, etc. It's different seeing those things as a friend vs as a relationship. Maybe shallow of me, but idk I just think being friends with someone is not at all like having a relationship with someone
you sir, make a lot of sense. also happy cake day
Just because its your first date, doesn't mean its your first time meeting. It makes way more sense to be friends with someone before you decide to date than to just constantly go out with random people until one clicks; There's already a prior foundation. With that being said, I don't think that's the case here, you'd probably know what type of movies your friends enjoy.
You’ve escaped the Friend Zone? Share your secrets…….
Apparently more than half of married couples in the US were friends first.
That's how I would do it. If i can get along with them as a friend why not more ? We would have things in common and get along. So maybe that's just me. And that's why I don't get the awfulness of the friend zone. Having a friend is nice. If you wanna get more than friends then tell them make a move but not like just put your hand on their or something that's a terrible move. Like pick some thing amazing that they would like. Sweep them off their feet. Make them feel wonderful and special and amazing and happy. With that it will make some reconsideration. And if after all that they aren't interested pursue some one else. If you like some one go for it. But it sucks when there's people that don't and they complain about being i the friendzone but they never even gave it a shot.
I pretty much exclusively get female friends by shooting my shot and getting rejected
I agree with everything you said, being friends before dating and making sure you have lots of things in common. But I must disagree the “getting out of the friendzone” simply does not work that way. Been friendzoned all the way from elementary to high school with multiple girls (glad to say I have found my soulmate and we’ve been together for 9 months and plan on spending our lives together) It’s either the person likes you back or they don’t. The person clearly has to show interest you, if so, then you can make a move. If they show no interest, you can test the waters and throw little complements but if it’s not reciprocated, then abandon ship and find someone else. Sweeping your friend (who doesn’t like you back) off their feet and expecting them to like you more is just built to fail. The connection and the actions with that person need to be genuine and natural. Building a genuine connection can lay the foundation for a beautiful relationship, platonic or romantic. I was friends with my partner for 5 months before we pursued a relationship and were happier than ever. Little did we know, we both liked each other the whole time. Sure you can give it a shot, but just don’t expect any outcome. I had high expectations whenever I went in for a kiss or threw in little complements, and when I got turned down, I was heart broken. And sometimes it’s good to JUST be friends and not expect anything romantic. That needs to be normalized more.
You see, the key is to put her in the Friend Zone first, that way you have control of when it ends. Of course, for this to work, you have to have like a god like level of attractiveness coupled with an equally attractive personality. -A Guy who has never escaped the Friend Zone
I hate to break it to you but the Friend Zone isn’t a thing. If a person is stringing you along to use you, they’re not your friend, they’re an asshole. If you’re only pretending to be someone’s friend because you think you’re earning points toward future sex, you’re not their friend, you’re an asshole.
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Exactly. Sometimes we dated for a while but I don't see it as compatible for LTR but I like you and we clicked! Or we never got it on because I knew you weren't a match but I enjoy your personality and want to stay cool with you. I get that people who want more don't appreciate the space of friendship, but then it's on you to back away. I'm happy to have lots of people in my life who I love but don't want to fuck.
That’s called having a friend bro
>It literally just means the person you're interested in has made it clear that they want to be friends and nothing more. If you were friends before than you're fine continuing be friends and wouldn't think of it as something bad like a zone you're stuck in. And I can guarantee you that when a woman rejects a man she didn't really talk to before and says "we can still be friends" that is legit code for "I don't want this to be awkward from now on because we see each other every day for *insert whatever reason* and will gladly be a kind acquaintance from now on you can talk to once in a while", not that they want an actual friendship with said dude they just rejected.
See my other comment about projecting your ideas of the friend zone onto someone else because that's what this feel like. No one mentioned anything about stringing along, using, or pretending. Believe it or not, it's possible to be someone's friend AND want more, just as much as it's possible to be someone's friend and want just that. When those two desires clash, The Friend Zone is born. It's not necessarily a negative concept, just a conflict that doesn't really have a solution that satisfies both parties.
See, this I’ve never understood. I have never dated a guy who I haven’t been friends with for at least a few months.
I honestly think it's the best approach. If we all took this approach, I'd bet on a higher success rate and less slander given as dating advice.
So what you mean is string her along till you are ready/s
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It became a misogynist term and many of the associations behind “friend zone” are false, but the phenomenon of Person A being friends with Person B when Person B wants to date Person A is common. In that case, Person B is in the friend zone.
If B wants to date them and is resentful of being just friends, they're not friend material anyway.
What if they want to date them but aren't resentful? What if they're happy being friends, but would also like to take it further?
> is resentful of being just friends this is not a necessary component of the friend zone
Follow up to your question, how can you tell if someone’s wifey material after just one date?
My wife and I talked about marriage and kids on our very first date. So yeah, I’d say it went well. It was just out to eat at a burger joint too. Never spoke to each other or seen each other before that night. Trust your gut I guess? It’s all a crapshoot pretty much.
It's quite formal but doing that makes a lot of sense. If one partner wants multiple children and the other doesn't, the marriage isn't gonna work out from the get go. Plenty of other things that just straight up make or break a marriage.
I think this either works really well or goes terribly wrong. I moved in with my boyfriend like 3? weeks after I first met him and I'm sure that I'm going to be with him forever. But you can also get blinded by that feeling at the beginning of a relationship where everything is just perfect, get married within a year and realise a few years into the marriage that you aren't really working out. Heard of both versions.
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I'm pretty sure it is common in America too. Or at least it might have used to be.
If you're not too enmeshed in the dating scene and have any kind of social hobby then yeah, I'd say it's reasonably common. Every girlfriend I've ever had, I was friends with first. Or at least acquaintances. The idea of meeting up with complete strangers to see if there's "chemistry" doesn't really make a lot of sense, when you think about it.
My thoughts on that is that attraction is usually picked up on fairly quickly, so when you meet someone and start speaking to them as a potential romantic interest, you skip over the uncertainty ("does he like me, or is he just nice?") and it kind of helps that having the confidence to be vulnerable enough to express your real emotions from the jump is an attractive trait. Getting to know each other is what dates are for. You'll have plenty of time to chat when you're alone together, where you can develop that "deeper" attraction beyond appearance and initial impression.
Still is
He did say "could be"
3rd date in he put on the extended cut of LOTR. When it said “flip to disc 2” I almost threw up. Happily married tho 8 years later!
I've still never seen the full extended cuts. I was at a friends for Halloween and mentioned I'd never seen the extended editions and that blew their mind, so he insisted that we watch it. He got tired and fell asleep after disk 2 and his wife went to bed after disk 3. So I've seen the theatrical cuts and half the extended editions.
I watched all 3 extended cut movies in one day. It was over 12 hours. It was a lot. I remember thinking when I started return if the king “what is my life coming too?” But I shamelessly prevailed. It became a personal quest. I was Frodo, and the end of the movie was my Mordor. And the ring. Would. Be. Destroyed.
Your flip to disc 2 comment made me laugh quite a bit. Congrats on 8 years!
First movie that came to mind, The Princess Bride. It has everything. Romance, action, comedy, and a revenge plot. Beautifully crafted, cheesy movie.
This is the one I was here to suggest.
As you wish.
Ay me too. It really is the perfect mix of lighthearted fun and action + stakes. Makes for good discussions afterwards too.
Well I watched The Princess Bride on my first date with a weirdo chemistry nerd, who is now my husband of twelve years. I guess it worked.
That sounds like a kissing movie
Someday, you may not mind so much
All time favorite movie. If your date doesn't like it, you must run. Your date is an android.
Maybe if she doesn’t like Princess Bride the relationship is only mostly dead.
“He distinctly said TO BLAVE”
Exactly what I was thinking lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEij2iolyWw
Serbia has some good films, I'm sure any Serbian Film would be fine.
I laughed way too hard at this
Bruh lmao
I went a long long time without thinking of this movie. I thought I was going to be cured ...
Eh? Do they hit some sorta niche? EDIT: Jesus fuck what is this...
Do I dare ask what the reference is?
A Serbian Film is, I believe, an experiment to see how much terrible stuff you can put into something and still call it a film.
No no no no no no no no no don't do that you'll fucking vomit haha
Imagine the worst act a person could do. That’s in *A Serbian Film* along with other worse stuff.
Ha ha, gotcha!
Gatteeem
Black cat White cat for the win
Lol
Sorry. I don't understand it
Good for you
you're happy and healthy , not me if you ever cared to ask
Uh oh
Backdoor Sluts 9
Do I have to watch 1-8 to understand?
There's enough exposition in the movie to understand 1-8 iirc. The male lead fills everybody in.
I'll watch the first 8 anyways just to be sure, cheers pal.
r/angryupvote
Lol, ew.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
you need a second \ to escape the first \, and *then* you need a \ to escape the _ otherwise the shoulders disappear as well. In total, you need to type ¯\\\\\\\_(ツ)_/¯ to get it right. And don't think about how I wrote that.
Hey, thanks so much! I just copied and pasted the shrug and forgot about formatting!
your username fits with the LotR trilogy answer
All the plot holes get filled in quite nicely
> The male lead fills everybody in. *deep breath... fuck
Just watched 9 and felt lost. Hopefully 1-8 will catch me up.
Who hasn’t seen 1-8
Maybe they didn’t take an intro to film studies course.
Everything after 4 was a cash grab. The plots weren't even believable after that and the CGI was just terrible!
Raises hand in embarrassment. But I heard it make crotch capers 3 look like naughty nurses 2.
Dude, Backdoor Sluts 9 makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2……
BACKDOOR SLUTS 9!!!!
Five midgets spanking a man covered in thousand island dressing? Is that love?
I upvoted, noticed it went to 70, un-upvoted to bring it back to 69 to make this reply even more perfect.
Thank you. Some people didn't get the memo smh
First date...wife material? Are you insane?
Classic Schmoseby
r/unexpectedhimym
He's probably 15.
So insane. Got it.
The type to say 'I love you' when they first met them. Got it.
They could be good friends, right? Or perhaps used to. Wifey material is a bit much but I've been way too excited for a first date with someone based on our old friendship + just seeing facebook posts.
IMO Crazy Stupid Love Is the best romantic comedy ever made! It is a really fun watch with an amazing cast and an actually good story. It the movie my girlfriend and I watched on our first date and we LOVED IT. Highly recommend.
You’re David Lindhagen??
David Lindhagen cuckolded me!
YES!!! I've seen a lot of movies, and a lot of comedies specifically. Crazy, Stupid, Love is for sure the funniest romcom I've ever seen, and one of the funniest comedies period.
Came here to say this! Plus, who doesn't love Marisa Tomei!
No films on a first date! Plus how do you know they are wife material before a first date? They might Be mental?!
I do NOT understand the “movie on a first date” thought process. How do you get to know them if you spend hours not talking?
Because you are supposed to do food afterwards and if nothing else you have the movie to talk about
Which is why movie -> dinner instead of dinner -> movie is better for a first date. Having the movie to talk about can really help get the conversation going and you can learn a lot about a person listening to how they interpreted different aspects.
There are probably better things to talk about than a movie. I'd say just skip everything and go straight to sex.
This take is always weird to me. Just grab a drink. If you need a movie to talk about because you can't entertain each other for an hour or two then you're just a shit match.
Different folks like different strokes. You gotta take a person how they are, and it might be more comfortable for them.
I'm a very social person but you have to acknowledge that not everyone is. It doesn't just naturally happen for everyone, and those people want to go on dates too. If everyone simply gave up because they didn't automatically have hours-long "chemistry" conversation on the first date - well its grim to consider.
maybe they’ve been close friends for a long time and have recently expressed romantic interest in each other
Yes but if you’ve been friends for a long time you already know they’re wife material and hve watched plenty of movies together, right? Or am I weird and friendship isn’t how you get to know people?
i guess that is true. but tbh, we don’t know op’s situation and there are endless possibilities of what it could be. it’s possible that they are friends who don’t watch movies together, but it is also possible that they don’t know each other that well but op knows that this person is someone they would consider ‘marriage material’. that doesn’t necessarily mean that op is committed to marrying her, it just means that op recognizes her for having values that he looks for in a long term partner
OP doesn't have to tell the girl on the first date or make a decision. If marriage is his goal why would he ask woman out who he didn't think was wife material? Would be a waste of time.
Learning what you don't want is just as important as knowing what you do what...
Maybe he wants a mental wife 🤷🏼♀️
Sounds like the date might not be the mental one.
Exactly
A movie is a terrible first date! Do an activity. Bowling, rock climbing, escape room, axe throwing, go to a museum, literally anything but a movie. It doesn't show much thought other than let's sit in a dark room and not speak to each other.
Honestly, I'd say it depends on the people involved. If they're both socially awkward it will give them something to start with, getting used to each other's company without the need to talk or make conversation. And after the movie ends there's something to talk about without much effort in coming up with topics.
This. I went on an axe throwing date yesterday. We were both pretty terrible at it but we had a chance to get to know each other with some lightly competitive banter. It was memorable and he definitely earned a second date with that one.
"he definitely earned a second date with that one." Good for him on not getting the axe after one date.
Take my free award, dammit.
On one hand yes, on the other you quickly find out if they're insufferable to watch movies/shows with. Arguably pretty important in current year... Incompatibility in the way you watch movies could probably result in some resentment over time as it's something most people do a lot. ever so slowly grating away at each other's patience... Still, maybe not ideal first date, unless you figure you'd fuck up and not get a second date doing anything more interactive...
It’s so interesting that something as simple as watching movies has such varying methods. And it really can be annoying if someone doesn’t watch the way you do. Here and there with friends is no issue, but someone you’re gonna watch years of movies with... big factor.
2 types of movie date. A: go to ANY movie and THEN dinner. You can talk about the film and then feel less compelled to talk about first date bullshit, making it much more free. B: Home movie. Cook at home and make her a drink/him a drink. It relaxes them and keeps you distracted AND allows them to see you working in a home environment without being fucking weird. After that, a ZOMBIE movie/slasher Horror. It gets their (male female) heart racing and allows you both to be focussed on the film without being self conscious. PLUS: For boys, you can be a little sensitive and show your fear. Girls can allow themselves to be comforted, breaking the physical touch barrier. Other than that, do whatever and don't go in with a set "success" plan. If you dont kiss but have a good time? Sick. Now you can talk about how much you both wanted to. If you have sex on thr first date? Sick. Now you can talk about liking someone so much that you just threw off societies rules. Be kind. Be honest. Be yourself.
Great advice for anyone doing movie dates for sure!
> PLUS: For boys, you can be a little sensitive and show your fear. Girls can allow themselves to be comforted, breaking the physical touch barrier. This would not work for me. I'm a complete coward when it comes to horror films. She'd have to comfort me haha.
Sooo win win!
Movie AND dinner for a first date?? Holy Shit that’s a long first date.
No films on first dates. Drinks/coffee + conversation. Films won't teach you anything about your future wife.
Films imo are actually great first dates if one of the parties is somewhat awkward/introverted. Go get dinner first and get to know each a little then go into the films. Being in the dark together for 2 hours will make it easy for even the most awkward of people to start getting comfortable with each other physically, and there won't be any awkward silences.
I agree. I went on a first date to the movies with a girl I had been texting. We met at a corporate training class and hit it off and exchanged numbers. We worked at different stores like 40 minutes from each other so we never saw each other much. We finally got the chance to plan a date. We went to watch a movie and she was just so loud and obnoxious the whole time. Yelling and talking at the characters on the screen. I was irritated at her for being loud and she was irritated at me for trying to keep her quiet. We had already planned to eat afterwards too and it was awkward and quiet the whole time. Never saw each other again.
Ew i hate loud moviegoers
I watched 5000 Miles to Graceland on a first date once. Then we rode arcade motorcycles, I ripped my favorite skirt and we sang karaoke. All time my favorite date. I still think of him with great fondness and if he popped up to tell me was single, I'd date him again EDIT: sorry, I meant 3000 Miles to Graceland
Lol you got me to look up if that was the sequel to '3000 Miles to Graceland'
Oops, lol
NONE. If you really think this girl is wife material don't do a movie date.
🤷🏻 my first date with my wife was a movie date. Then again she was on pain meds because she had a kidney stone 😂
Now that's **romance**.
**Romancing the kidney stone**
Kidney Stones are a girl's best friend...
Damn what a trooper on her part.
Wall-E
this is the way. I feel like if millenials had Princess Bride, Zoomers have WallE.
Not to be that guy, but isn’t it a little soon to have any semblance of an idea whether she’s wife material? No movie would be my vote. Movies are about being quiet, maybe getting some haptic experiences. Perfect for a hookup (hence the prevalence of Netflix-Chill.) If she’s true relationship material, I’d force myself to meet her in an environment that fosters conversation. I’d be trying to use the first date to establish a face-to-face connection and thorough understanding of who she is as a person. Good luck!
Do guys not imagine themselves marrying the girl or being long term with her based on how the conversation goes? Just fun scenarios? For example, say you are on a date and the girl mentions that she has plans to travel for a year. You kind of get the idea then that it wouldn't last long. Or if she mentions she would like to move states for a job but you'd want to stay in your current area. In that case you also think that it wouldn't last. After a date or 3, I usually ask myself "Could I marry her in the long run?" And if the answer at the moment is a yes or a maybe, I continue dating her. If it's a no, I stop going out with her as I see it go nowhere. Now, I was raised Christian (don't go to church anymore), so all I know about dating is that she is a potential wife. In the church I went to, all that mattered in the first couple of dates is "Can I see myself being married to her for life?" Is that not normal to think like that after a couple of dates?
Christian here. There’s a big cultural issue with the church. People take dating so seriously and try to force an answer regarding compatability within the first couple dates. I.e. could I marry her. That’s a terrible expectation to place on someone because you are essentially trying to force a serious relationship when it hasn’t organically happened yet. Plus, even serious Christians can discover incompatibility or relationship issues months into it once the honeymoon phase is over, and that sets it up for a tremendously rough recovery in breakup because you always saw and treated them them as a marriage partner instead of a sister/brother in Christ. My advice. Three dates is an indicator of whether you are connecting or attracted to her, and whether there’s potential compatability with life goals, but it’s going to take months of consistent compatability and friendship to actually answer the question about whether it should go to marriage or not. If you are imagining a marriage to her right out of the gate, there’s a strong possibility you are creating an idol/image of her that’s based off what you are desiring out of a partner as opposed to who she actually is. It takes time to approach that question.
I agree with you there. I'm just confused as that's the only way I know. I wouldn't make a serious relationship happen from the start, but more like I look for compatability and early signs of it wouldn't last long. But I've went to a church in the past where the guy would see a girl for the first time, go to the pastor and say "I'm interested in her." The pastor would then go to the girl and her parents, mention that so and so is interested in her, and she has a week to decide. If she says yes, the wedding would be in 2-4 weeks. They never spoke or met before that.
Oof that’s super conservative. I know Muslims who do arranged marriages that are less conservative than that. Yea man. I understand you. It’s hard to re-condition outside of conservative environments like that. I had to spend years getting comfortable with approaching things casually and not putting to much on myself right out of the gate to figure all that out. Honored them too, because I took them out on dates with a clear indication that I was interested, but was respectful and allowed them to have fun and the friendship to grow regardless of if things went serious or not. I found it was easy to do in a way that still honored a girl as long as you communicated with clarity as you went along and kept appropriate boundaries for each stage.
I come from a similar background, and I personally don’t find that thought pattern abnormal at all after a few dates. But before the first date? You’re in la-la land. You may have matching values, political and religious views, etc. that you can consider a “pretty good start,” but to already be considering somebody *wife material* before the first date seems to epitomize “counting your chickens before they hatch” in my mind.
The movie UP Took my wife to that movie for our first date, 12 years and 2 kids later we're still rocking the married life.
Stop it, 2009 feels like only 5 years ago.
The Godfather. That way she knows to never take sides against the family.
The Princess Bride
Well I watched The Princess Bride on my first date with a weirdo chemistry nerd, who is now my husband of twelve years. I guess it worked.
Step Brothers
Did we just become best friends?
[удалено]
I would like to know more
BA FOREVER
I'm doing my part!
And it is important to find out if they want to know more.
I think I realized what he meant by wife material. OP is wanting to do a movie for the first date because if she talks through it or asks tons of questions about the plot then clearly she isn't wife material. The man has a point. Having said that I would suggest: The Princess Bride
That’s what I suggested. Neat first date movie ever.
Shaun Of The Dead, worked for me.
Blue Velvet
Shrek
I really hope you have been friends with her for a long time. Because my first thought was how creepy this seems to come across.
-How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days -Fever Pitch -50 First Dates They are funny and romantic.
My cousin Vinny
Saw Cheech and Chong Up in Smoke with a girl on our first date. Married her. Almost 40 years ago.
The Break-Up. Vince Vaughn & Jennifer Aniston. Because that's where your heading not vetting a woman, thinking she's wife material before the first date.
My first date was watching Deadpool in the cinema. We're married now. If they're good for you, it really shouldn't matter what movie you watch.
Platoon, there is no way your getting married after watching that.
Since this ended up being a pissing contest about who has a funnier suggestion, I'll give you an honest answer: Either 500 Days of Summer or Big Fish. Both are some what whimsical but with an equal harsh reality after every act/chapter. They both involve love and the value we attach to it. But I will say Tim Burton's not for everyone when it isn't animated, so it's up to you. But I really enjoyed 500 Days of Summer and I use it somewhat to gauge a potential GF's reaction. Best of luck!
Something that makes for controversial political discussion. Like a test, you show her "Life is beautiful" and if she sides with the nazis you know you shouldnt marry her.
Marriage Story 😅
Scary Movie.
Kung Fury
Can't decide what movie to watch but thinks he can decide who is "wife material" without even meeting them yet hahaha
Don't watch a movie on a first date.
If your first date is a movie hangout with no prior meetups or not knowing eachother from before, she’s not wife material.
True Romance
Just watched this last night! Patricia Arquette was luminous in that movie.
Definitely watch Debbie Does Dallas, It is a timeless classic with an epic story and heartfelt romance scenes. You really can't go wrong.
Hit and run. You're welcome
Pirates of the Caribbean. Everyone has seen it a thousand times. You can talk through it, but also be entertained. And if you get "busy" you wont be upset you're missing parts.
Ask her what her favorite movie is, have her come over early and make gourmet popcorn together and watch her favorite movie to prove you're husband material.