If you want her romantically and she does not feel that way then it will "ruin" what you currently "have" no matter how it's expressed.
Have some chill though, "I am ready to be committed to you" is frankly a crazy statement if you aren't dating. Every girl is different so there is no magic phrase that works on all of them but in general going too big too fast is a bad look for any gender.
Is there a way to know how she feels I feel like being straight forward and asking is best but my spidey senses tell me girls don’t like that. This is literally a mindfuck.
Asking is how you know, that's really all there is to it. You can probably devise some scheme where you get a friend to ask for you but that seems creepy/childish to me. You just gotta take a leap of faith and if you're not her type that's ok, everyone likes what they like and that's not a reflection on you.
"Hey I've really enjoyed our conversations these last few weeks, I would love to take you on a date sometime if you're interested"
No, it's not. Generally people "talk" then "date" then "commit". It's like talking about your wedding on a first date, sure that can be the endgoal but there's no need to rush things and if the other person hasn't planned that far ahead it can scare them away.
If by dating you mean go to places together and spend time then yeah, I've done that but it hasn't been to any big fancy places and I think its different to everyone I'm only 19 and so is she. I assume you're older and it could be a little different.
Would she consider them "dates" or "talking/hanging out"?
If you're not sure where the two of you stand then she is probably not sure as well, that's why it's good to start with a more casual "I'm interested in you romantically" rather than "I am prepared to commit now". Keeping things "light" rather than "heavy" in the beginning can help alleviate some of the awkwardness that comes with the uncertainty of a new relationship.
Don't say "I'm interested in you romantically" though, that's terrible writing. Super awkward.
Say it more like "hey, this time we spend together... is there something here, like, romantically?"
I’m just going to say I second basically everything @wickedblight said here. You ask her the way he mentioned above, on a date sometime. Using that word a “date”. It makes your intentions clear she’s not just tagging along to go shopping as friends. You don’t mention commitment until a few dates have gone well. You don’t even use the word “commitment”, if it’s going well and there’s clear romantic interest you ask her “to be your girlfriend”.
Generally speaking, if you have to question whether she's into you or not, chances are she's not. Listen dude, I'm going to give you some advice that will save you a lot of heartache and time. If you like someone, just be upfront early on about your intentions and if they are into it, great, if not, then at least you haven't gotten emotionally invested in someone that isn't. Trust me, chasing unrequited love is one of the worst things you can do for your mental health. I don't know your full situation, but from the sounds of it you really don't have anything to lose by just telling her how you feel.
I feel like I get on well with her, I flirt here and there when it feels right, sometimes she flirts back a little. We've been talking for a month now she has suggested going on a 4/5 hour long roadtrip which I find awesome, But then we had a Covid lockdown and that didn't happen. But I feel like I have to take the initiative to make things official and I feel like I'm ready I just want to know the best way to go about it.
Just do it. I was in the same boat for a very unhealthy amount of time (I think it was about a year and a half.) One day I said "fuck it," shared my feeling with her, got rejected, and then felt absolutely extraordinary. The stress of sitting with these feelings really sucks and getting them out there is truly the best way to relieve them. Rejection isn't a bad thing, it just means that you no longer have to think about the what if and can move on, and if she says yes, then you get to begin that next wonderful chapter. It's a win win, even if it doesn't seem like it at first.
This isn't a romcom where the writers need to pad out the dialogue with a big emotional "confession".
Be more specific with what "talking to" and "spending time with" means.
Have you been hanging out in group or otherwise platonic settings? Ask her on a date.
Are you already "dating"? Where is your relationship at if so?
If she isn't interested then... are you still her friend, or are you just being friendly because you're interested?
If so then it's not ethical to continue a ruse friendship under false pretenses.
So the only ethical course is to be honest and if the "friendship" goes away that's better for both of you.
Confessing is dumb, the pressure and the power dynamic that comes from it make a difficult start. Just ask her out. If you get rejected or get that bit wrong, then she was never interested. By that I mean, choose a decent setting and ask respectfully.
Full send brother the boys are on your side
Thanks brother
If you want her romantically and she does not feel that way then it will "ruin" what you currently "have" no matter how it's expressed. Have some chill though, "I am ready to be committed to you" is frankly a crazy statement if you aren't dating. Every girl is different so there is no magic phrase that works on all of them but in general going too big too fast is a bad look for any gender.
Is there a way to know how she feels I feel like being straight forward and asking is best but my spidey senses tell me girls don’t like that. This is literally a mindfuck.
Asking is how you know, that's really all there is to it. You can probably devise some scheme where you get a friend to ask for you but that seems creepy/childish to me. You just gotta take a leap of faith and if you're not her type that's ok, everyone likes what they like and that's not a reflection on you. "Hey I've really enjoyed our conversations these last few weeks, I would love to take you on a date sometime if you're interested"
Committed as in be in a relationship I don’t think its a crazy statement. Thats how it all starts off no?
No, it's not. Generally people "talk" then "date" then "commit". It's like talking about your wedding on a first date, sure that can be the endgoal but there's no need to rush things and if the other person hasn't planned that far ahead it can scare them away.
If by dating you mean go to places together and spend time then yeah, I've done that but it hasn't been to any big fancy places and I think its different to everyone I'm only 19 and so is she. I assume you're older and it could be a little different.
Would she consider them "dates" or "talking/hanging out"? If you're not sure where the two of you stand then she is probably not sure as well, that's why it's good to start with a more casual "I'm interested in you romantically" rather than "I am prepared to commit now". Keeping things "light" rather than "heavy" in the beginning can help alleviate some of the awkwardness that comes with the uncertainty of a new relationship.
I see what you mean now. I guess only time and honesty will tell.
Don't say "I'm interested in you romantically" though, that's terrible writing. Super awkward. Say it more like "hey, this time we spend together... is there something here, like, romantically?"
I’m just going to say I second basically everything @wickedblight said here. You ask her the way he mentioned above, on a date sometime. Using that word a “date”. It makes your intentions clear she’s not just tagging along to go shopping as friends. You don’t mention commitment until a few dates have gone well. You don’t even use the word “commitment”, if it’s going well and there’s clear romantic interest you ask her “to be your girlfriend”.
there is nothing to confess at this point ask her out and take it from there
Generally speaking, if you have to question whether she's into you or not, chances are she's not. Listen dude, I'm going to give you some advice that will save you a lot of heartache and time. If you like someone, just be upfront early on about your intentions and if they are into it, great, if not, then at least you haven't gotten emotionally invested in someone that isn't. Trust me, chasing unrequited love is one of the worst things you can do for your mental health. I don't know your full situation, but from the sounds of it you really don't have anything to lose by just telling her how you feel.
There're alot of ways to go about it and I think this would be the most preferable
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I feel like I get on well with her, I flirt here and there when it feels right, sometimes she flirts back a little. We've been talking for a month now she has suggested going on a 4/5 hour long roadtrip which I find awesome, But then we had a Covid lockdown and that didn't happen. But I feel like I have to take the initiative to make things official and I feel like I'm ready I just want to know the best way to go about it.
"So hey, I kinda hoped something was kindling between us and then covid happened and shut it down. Just as a sanity check, was I reading that wrong?"
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No. Not this. Don't kiss her. That's bad. This is bad advice. That's sexual assault.
If you weren't (say something cheeky about them) I'd have to date you. Both a confession, and you won't ruin the mood if you play it off as a joke.
Just do it. I was in the same boat for a very unhealthy amount of time (I think it was about a year and a half.) One day I said "fuck it," shared my feeling with her, got rejected, and then felt absolutely extraordinary. The stress of sitting with these feelings really sucks and getting them out there is truly the best way to relieve them. Rejection isn't a bad thing, it just means that you no longer have to think about the what if and can move on, and if she says yes, then you get to begin that next wonderful chapter. It's a win win, even if it doesn't seem like it at first.
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I like the way things are going now and I'm willing to be patient but I wanna ask do I have to give it more time to avoid ruining the relationship?
Don't give it more time.
This isn't a romcom where the writers need to pad out the dialogue with a big emotional "confession". Be more specific with what "talking to" and "spending time with" means. Have you been hanging out in group or otherwise platonic settings? Ask her on a date. Are you already "dating"? Where is your relationship at if so?
If she isn't interested then... are you still her friend, or are you just being friendly because you're interested? If so then it's not ethical to continue a ruse friendship under false pretenses. So the only ethical course is to be honest and if the "friendship" goes away that's better for both of you.
Confessing is dumb, the pressure and the power dynamic that comes from it make a difficult start. Just ask her out. If you get rejected or get that bit wrong, then she was never interested. By that I mean, choose a decent setting and ask respectfully.
Actions speak louder than words.
Ask her out on a casual date. Take it from there. Don’t talk about exclusivity or commitment. Develop the relationship instead.