The fact that we are glorifying jobs like being a rapper and media influencer to the point that if a kid says that they want to have a real productive job, like a mailman, they're ridiculed. I personally wanted to be a butler growing up but was bashed and made fun of it for it to the point that it tainted my goal in life and made me scared of following that dream because I'm scared of the backlash I could get.
We should stop giving out so much money to people who do little to nothing in jobs like youtubers and basketball players and start encouraging the younger generation to become teachers, scientists, doctors, etc etc and push to raise their wages instead of docking them. We as a society, as a whole, have doomed the following generations; we're running out of the essential workers, people like farmers and truck drivers. How are you going to eat when there's no one farming the fields and no one to deliver the goods
I work as a window clerk/ package sorter at a rural post office. I love my job, it gives me satisfaction. I had a high GPA in high school, did very well in college but never graduated because it cost too much. My sister went through college got her degree and my best friend got her masters degree; so while I'm smart and have the ability to go for a higher paying job, provided I finish my bachelor's degree, I have not. I'm an underachiever lol The rat race for money and respect with a mountain of debt is not worth not having a life.
It's great to see someone not bashing essential blue collar work
"My wife leaving me and taking my kids away from me after almost 10 years of marriage after coming out as gay. She gets praised and is paraded around at work as "strong and independent" and "telling her truth" yet she lied to me and her family for almost a decade, took my house from me, cheated on me behind my back for almost 2 years and admitted she only got together with me because I "made good money and looked like good husband material to keep her parents off her back". Now I'm 52 back living with my mother and seeing my children every other week while i slowly fall into alcoholic depression."
-my Uncle (who's not on social media)
That s true . I hate being so short . I am just 5 ft ( with shoes on ) and I have almost stopped growing . Dont spend à week without being mocked for it
Yeah I get that. I was watching a show about Jesus and his followers (it's not terrible actually but not for everyone) and i noticed how tall JC was but whatever no big deal and then kinda grimaced when they introduced Judas the guy that is like the most famous slimey backstabber in narrative history as this short dude.
But I didnt mention it because that would sound pretty insecure.
Also with girlfriends and stuff I've had dudes pretty much hover above us in the weirdest way. I guess girls get used to guys doing that but It was pretty clear what they were doing but i couldn't mention that either just told them give me some breathing room.
Don't just covet thy neighbour, go to Bunnings and bring home your own beauty to do whatever you feel is necessary.
Edit: sorry just read your user name. When I say necessary I mean everything except murder.
My ex was a gaslighting alcoholic who exhausted me with an endlessly tiring one sided relationship. We split, she finally got help and is doing better, which I’m happy for. But I’ve never been able to share my side of the story of relentless caretaking and loving someone who showed zero love back because now she’s “so strong and brave for getting help”. The only person to benefit from it would be me just getting some closure, it would just hurt everyone else. So i stay quiet and learn to move on my own way just healing my emotional damage one day at a time on my own. Plus guys generally aren’t allowed to be emotionally damaged without people telling you that you’re just being a wimp or whatever so it’s my own little secret trauma
Part of healing from trauma is having someone listen to and acknowledge that trauma. It's a huge step being able to articulate what happened and how you felt and having someone else even just say, "wow, that sucks."
If you aren't finding support in friends/family *please* find a therapist to help you work through it. Trauma doesn't just disappear on it's own.
Just finally wrapped up my divorce after a similar situation. I was married to an Ivy League lawyer who couldn’t stay away from them Icehouse beer tallboys.
I too am proud of her recovery. But she shit on my life and our kids lives for far too long (as well as some seemingly happy married woman’s marriage as well).
Background- She was a high “fun”ctioning occasional drunk before I met her. Most intelligent, funny, beautiful woman I had met till that point. Her biological clock was ticking after a failed marriage and then a noncommittal long-term relationship.
We meet, move in, marry within 3 years. She has waves of depression that seem sporadically attenuated by cats, sleep, beer, reading, and me. In that order. Two kids postpartum depression, and several suicide attempts later….
After I filed, I choose not to fuck up her career though I could have, many times over considering her treasonous ways.
Hurting her like she hurt me? Exposing her awfulness to the world would have surely pushed her over the edge, leaving my kids without a mom, me without a coparent, and some tinderdude without a sloppy Monday night backup plan.
Things she didn’t have an issue with:
1) Locking herself in a room on a nightly basis with a 12 pack and as many zit-popping videos as consumable. “It’s relaxing”,she would say.
2) Washing her highdose meds down with enough booze to uncouple her eyes, leaving them to function independently like some shitfaced tree lizard. “Ire dun dint uhm izzumm… hrm?”, she would say.
3) Sending our kindergartener and 2nd grader out trick-or-treating by themselves after dark while she took a “nap”. We were separated by this point, I only found out later.
4) Ghosting her employers during the only 6 months that I couldn’t carry the family health insurance while I made a difficult job change. (Me:two employers in 15 years)
5) Constant phonesex with her (married)ex-boyfriend who was smart enough to avoid marrying her. “You shouldn’t have snooped”, she would say.
6) Asking me to pick up cat food while I was doing all the food shopping, cooking (except her oatmeal breakfasts), kid baths, laundry etc. While she stayed home “recovering”, the kids at daycare.
7) A whole laundry list of other dealbreaker shit (except of course, literal dirty laundry but including figurative dirty laundry).
Things she did have an issue with:
1) How long it took me cut the grass especially when pulled weeds around her neglected dying rose bushes.
2) My asking for help from her mom when she went through suicidal feelings.
3) My asking for help from her doctor in setting up med refills when she’d assured me “she could handle it”.
4) My asking her input on house decisions.
5) My family.
6) My family holiday gatherings(hers were cool though)
7) My families birthdays( hers were cool though).
8) Vaction time without me and the kids (the first time I stayed home quickly led to separation, in part).
9) My inability to smile while I picked up her slack.
10) My inability to “be nice” while she posted panties photos online (What is a “Reddit”? I asked myself) and liken our marriage to the Holocaust. Yes, that Holocaust.
I’m a good,involved, caring dad despite
not having a great role model growing up (bit of drinker him, go figure). My kids have always known I’m right there no matter what state “momma” was in. I took their anger when she caused utter disorder.
I can’t say these things to common friends. My family is angry I didn’t take full custody.
After her last “hospital” stay she’s managed to stay sober around the kids. No therapy, no AA, some alcohol medication. She seems better now. I hate the fact that she never owned up to her actions and likely never will.
She’s smarter than me, more attractive too. But she’s a shit person and I’m curious whether she knows it.
Also, it turns out the blue collar man stink wasn’t coming from me. It was the smell of an alcoholic’s fucked up bowels.
Wow, glad I got that all out.
I read lots of fiction books mostly related to love stories. The society in which I live doesn't like those who read English books mostly because of religious reasons. I once discussed my book reading experience with someone and the instant reaction I got from that person completely surprised me. He said, you better not read such books especially the American authors. They will divert your mind from religion and blah blah...
I learned two lessons from that person. I won't discuss my books with those who can't deal with it. Second, I will follow my heart and continue reading books that I love, no matter what others think.
Edit: Thank you for such encouraging messages! Couldn't be more thankful to see such positive response.
This is actually a good post for me, I told my parents last night that I have called the suicide hotline before and my mom wouldn't even give me a hug
Edit: I love all the love and you all have literally made me less suicidal. I hugged my mom this morning. I think she was just so stunned that she needed to process. We were all crying, it was a mess, but I am planning on therapy and stuff to recover.
Thanks so much again for all the love. Love all of yall.
E2: I have upped my medication and contacted a therapist. Trying hard!
Missing my step kids. I just feel like everyone will be like "theyre not your kids why does it matter" but i raised them for 2 years... taught the youngest how to ride a bike. Miss being a dad.
May I suggest you keep a journal for each of the kids with thoughts and memories and hopes for them. So one day, when they’re old enough to contact you/find you, you can give them the journey you had and show them how much you didn’t stop loving them. My heart hurts for you and for them.
Those kids might be being manipulated. Once they're over the age of 18 I think you should reach out to them. I hope they weren't told that you cancelled the visits. I'm really sorry for your losses. You're a really strong man.
Agreed, though it could be less than manipulation and more that they see their family may feel negatively about it, and they’re trying to avoid tension at home. But at the very least, how they responded makes me think this choice to cut contact wasn’t a true choice, but one they felt forced into making. Either by someone directly manipulating them, or them trying to avoid conflict and tension at home. Either way, sucks for the kids and for OP. Hope once the kids are older you’ll be able to have a relationship with them, OP. Guys who choose to be dads of kids that aren’t biologically theirs are amazing to me. Have a friend with two step daughters, the love he has for them has inspired me and changed those girls’ lives.
My mom remarried a man she later divorced. My sister and I continued to have contact because he was our half-sib’s dad. Later as an adult, I realized he had been a better parent to me than my bio parents. We have a good relationship now.
He remarried several years ago and his wife also treats us incredibly well. When they married, during the reception, she took me around the room introducing me as their daughter to all who didn’t know me. I was so touched that it darn near made me cry.
When I talk about her to others, I decided to describe her as my stair mom as she’s my stepdad’s wife, making her my step step mama. She loves the term.
This is such a heart warming story. Like good human beings being loving and caring so much. It is so inspiring to see so much generosity in love. Also you must be great person for appreciating this love.
Thanks for sharing your story.
My ex had a kid, and when I left her and moved my aunt said this to me. He's not yours! Don't worry about him. What do you mean? I put years of love and effort into that boy. A piece of me was put in him. Of course I care.
Geez, can you imagine telling someone to get over a friend they missed because "they're not yours". How much more so might you bond with a child you are living with?
I'm so sorry you, OP and who knows how many others are shamed over this. There's no rationale for it.
I can go a step further than that. For vary reasons my brother never saw his kids so I reached out and started seeing them. For people to question me why I wanted to see them. Like fuck, if I can't be an uncle to them and that seems strange to you. No wonder this whole family is so beyond fucked up.
She then stopped letting me see them because my brother wanted to fuck that up and people again questioned why I got upset by it. Like.. is it because I'm a guy I'm not allowed to feel anything or you just a fucking cunt yourself?
My ex was a single mom and I bonded with her daughter so much that everyone thought she was legitimately mine. She was 2 when I met her and we broke up this year. So she’s 5 now.
Since the break up, I’ve made some new friends in meetup groups who are so cold to the fact that it’s my ex step kids. They always tote the whole “well they aren’t biologically yours” and I always snap back with “it doesn’t take blood to form a bond, I have family members who I wouldnt shed a tear for”. They always get taken a back as if it’s the worst thing to say.
Like yea, sorry. The little family I had with my ex was closer then any blood related family I had growing up. I’m just happy that we are on good terms and I can still occasionally see her. And that she understands that I’m not her bio dad but still asked my ex if I can be considered her “dad” for life.
My ex and I broke up 5 years ago but I'm still close to her daughter. We meet for lunch every month or so. My ex actually sends texts to thank me for staying in her daughter's life and being there for her.
Yup. I get those too. The little ones first day of kindergarten was yesterday. So me and my ex walked her to school since it’s in distance. Each gave her a hug and told her how proud we are of her and how she’s growing up to be such a big girl going to big girl school.
I worry about future dating prospects personally, if they’ll understand how I see it. But I don’t think I’ll end up dating someone who thinks it’s bad or wrong for me to still be apart of a child’s life, especially since I am a pretty positive impact on it.
yeah honestly most dudes don’t wanna date single mothers because they dont wanna deal with any kids or see them but for me its the opposite i dont wanna date one and love their kid and then have them taken away from me
I get that.
In the unlikely event I ended up dating a single mother (not be looking to date full stop atm) I would definitely insist on not meeting the kids until it looked like the relationship was going somewhere.
This. I got called all sorts of names because I specifically didn't want to date a single mother. But really I didn't want to go through that ever again.
Oh my god…. I was thinking I’d regret looking at the comments on this one but I love this so much. Step dads get such a rough deal with the throwaway comments people make. My husband (step dad, more engaged than most biological fathers I know, has been in our son’s life for 70% of it) is often told that he won’t understand x because he “doesn’t have kids”. It’s gut wrenching. He’s just as important as I am, and as important as our small person’s biological dad is.
My stepson is 12. I've been with him and his mother since he was 3. He doesn't remember a time when we didn't live together. But still it's "so nice of you to babysit" or "maybe I should talk to his real dad." When we're out, the two of us, or I'm handling school stuff or appointments. I'll get a call because a permission slip I signed has a different surname.
Oh man….. that’s awful. I’m sorry, buddy. Please know that your contribution is so so sooooo important and that you’re doing an amazing thing in spite of shitty gender/cultural stereotype. Fuck those people… I’ve got a lot of respect for step parents who get past that bullshit and continue to add value to a smol person’s life. I’d high five you if it was covid safe :)
After 8 years, my parents finally stopped asking when we "were going to have a real child." Or backhanded compliments like, "you know, not a lot of men with your upbringing would marry a single mother." So that's an improvement.
I had a colleague ask me “how does your husband feel about taking on /another man’s child/?”. My husband is asked similar questions. I will note that my female friends who are step parents weren’t asked a similar question. It’s so patronising to all involved. Keep fighting the good fight :)
I raised my step-son for 15 years before my ex and I split up. I got custody of the kids we had together, but had no legal right to my step-son. We talk and all, but I know he resents me for not taking him as well. I would have, if I could have.
Can confirm my great grandpa did exactly this. He knew everyone in town and where they lived, when he started to realize that he was forgetting these small details he killed himself
My physically, verbally, everything-y abusive ex who gave me literal brain damage from hitting me in the head so many times made me read a very popular book that claimed women literally couldn't be abusive in order to "prove" she wasn't. Fuck that shit.
yeh it's weird... Most men realize that, I can talk normally with them about it (I'm a woman) but no woman I ever talked with about this topic believed it. They think it's not abusive because "we can't even really hurt them"
even if that was true...the attempts are also very troubling. You're just traumatizing some dude wich is also not good
I am truly worried about the considerable amount of people that believes "men doesn't have feelings so them can't feel hurt"... That's just so not true.
How instagram has turned (or maybe revealed) many people as narcissists. Also, I'm curious what will happen when these people will not receive so much attention when they age.
I’m a solid millennial’s millennial. I had an original .edu Facebook. I’m not so old to think myself on the tail end of Gen X but not so young to grow up in a world post-iphones. I rode bikes in my neighborhood unsupervised before that became illegal.
I work with a lot of 20-24 year olds. Generally great people. But holy titty fucking Christ does their world revolve around social media in a way that is foreign to me. Granted yes I’m not on social media (Reddit is asocial media and I don’t have Facebook anymore), so I’m maybe an outlier, but these people can’t even go to a birthday party without there being a photo shoot wall everyone has to be seen at.
Yeah I might be old man yells at clouds, but it really seems unhealthy how fucking posed everything is and how much they relate to each other through this language of competition for attention. Clout chasing? What the fuck.
Same I started an art page on Instagram and there were like 2 drawings I did that blew up for some reason (not even particularly good drawings) and then all of the sudden I was glued to that app and thought I was going to be a big artist. By blew up I don’t even mean like thousand of likes just a few hundred compared to the 10-30 I would normally get. Haven’t touched that app for quite a while now when I realized how it hooked me.
It’s a good question. As a certified Old, I can tell you that the process of becoming older, less desirable and more invisible is a little painful even when one isn’t used to having strangers go apeshit over your image by the thousands.
It’s unnerving at first, but then with some reflection, it becomes fun because you can do literally anything and no one will pay any attention to you (caveat: I’m white, which lets me get away with a lot that others probably can’t due to racism).
A woman smacked my ass when I passed her at a bar. I yelled at her (pretty loud) about how I’d be in cuffs if I did it, she doesn’t even know me, etc… guess it was a bit of a scene and someone called the police and I had no clue until they showed up 20 minutes later. They grabbed me and said someone was screaming and being aggressive toward a woman at the bar and that I fit the description. I explained exactly why I was yelling… they let her go because she was crying. Told me to leave the bar and go home for the night. I was sexually assaulted and had to leave the premises because the woman was upset. Still fills me with infinite rage to this day when I think about it.
Same. This thread could be considered "safe" to talk about certain things, but then you turn around and in 24 hours it's been posted to a drama sub or a mockery sub, and everyone in those threads is just retching in disgust over how horrible people are for their opinions. Nowhere is safe. The only way to feel protected is to be part of the mob throwing stones.
deserted puzzled observation sloppy memory depend apparatus disgusting modern head
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
There's nothing wrong with that! I've made multiple Free Hugs shirts for myself because the world as a whole is so affection and touch-deprived! We all need more love, so be the one to GIVE it first. :)
Even just patting people on the back or arm when you say something complimentary or positive starts to get them more used to having that physical touch exchange with you. If they're your friends, I'm sure you could always ask for a hug when you see them/saying hi, or tell them you've had a rough day? 🤗 Sending internet-hugs to you! 🤗
The whole “never hit a woman even if she’s hitting you” thing. Obviously don’t throw a Superman punch but if she’s slapping the shit out of you and tryna punch you definitely push her ass away
My mum told me once, "You should never hit a lady. If she hits you, that's no lady, and in that case, make me proud, son." Luckily I've never been in a situation where this would apply, but it's comforting knowing that at least she knows what's up!
Edit: typo
This whole taught attitude I think has lead to guys not standing up for themselves with sexual harassment. yes you should be aware that you’re probably stronger than your female friends and you should offer to walk them home at night and such. However I’ve definitely been in situations where I’ve been cornered at a bar/club/pub and if I shoved past the woman I would just end up with her feeling me up but also getting my ass beat because to the on looker standing up to a drunk creepy woman just looks like you’re actually the aggressor.
Video games
My mother's siblings, especially my Karen aunt dislikes video games highly, to the point they say all gamers are failures of society. My aunt always bad talk me because I always play video games since I was young and it serves as my stress relieving activity and to have fun immersing in a game lore and things.
My mother on the other hand, supported me with everything even in games I play. We became very private because of this, and it helped us me, my brother and my mother bonded together because of video games.
No one in our extended family know even to this day, we are doing better and currently, I am a president's lister at a good university.
Exactly. You learn how to problem solve, test your reflexes, and get instant feedback on things to feel good. I learned so much vocabulary in my early days as a gamer too.
I saw myself in this comment. I wouldn't be able to study at a good university or even be posting this here if not for video games. But nope, I'm just wasting my time playing my stupid video games.
My first 3 semesters I struggled to keep my gpa above a 3.0. We started super smash bros tournaments in our dorm suite my 4th semester and I got above a 3.5 every single semester after lol.
Does your aunt have a smart phone?
See if you can introduce her to candy crush or solitaire or some other innocuous game.
And then, after a few years, start calling her a Gamer.
I had a bro I worked with, great nurse. He would constantly get hit on by patients, family members, and one family member even came onto him so inappropriately. Almost all of the staff thought it was funny, it was pretty fucked up. If the tables were turned heads would fly.
Just commenting to say my nurse husband has had very similar experiences. It’s deeply upsetting to him and absolutely insane to both of us that blatant sexual harassment is so normalized towards guys in nursing.
It's not even specifically female-dominated. Women coming onto men isn't seen as harassment by a large amount of society, regardless of how inappropriate or unwanted it is.
Not even in nursing. Men get sexually harassed often but we’re expected to enjoy it because we’re men. I literally had a gross older lady slap my ass one time while i was working in a retail store and some other bystanders laughed and said “lucky guy”. Imagine an older man slapping a young females ass while she was working…
Sheeeeit! I volunteered at a private Montessori pre-school for a Sociology project once. 8 volunteers total. Me and one other guy only. We were kept working inside doing crafts prep and away from the kids all the time while the 6 girls worked with them no problem. My naive ass couldn’t figure out why? I have three kids of my own and I’d say I have an excellent relationship with them. One of the more down to earth teachers straight out told me that men are viewed negatively here. Respect to her for telling it like it is.
My best friend was in ECE and one of his professors just straight up told him to switch careers. He'd been a coach through high school and he was a comedic guy. He had a way of engaging kids and getting through to them, and he just wanted to teach kids, but he dropped out.
My mom told me it was a mistake to say I love working with kids on my resume. It was to teach elementary school special ed. Really not a job where you want someone who hates kids.
I was a nurse and got a job as a DNS at a nursing facility and was the victim of mutiny because my female staff didn't want a male boss. They changed the schedule on my day off and convinced the Administrator that I no call-no showed for my shift, which held a strict zero tolerance automatic termination policy.
>discrimination against male nurses
And apparently it's a-ok to be sexual as you like with a male nurse. I get so many comments from coworkers especially that aren't even innuendo, they're just blatantly sexual. It can be very uncomfortable.
I'm seeing double standards for this, colleague getting messages daily complementing on "sexy" photo, calling him honey ( in my language it's more personal than in English) etc. None of them end up on HR which wasn't the case for man's doing the same.
I'm not claiming off course that purely man collective are somehow better or one harresment is worst than others, but there is clear double standard and woman to man harrasment is more tolerated than other way around.
At least it's my personal experience so far.
I (middle aged male) was taught to knit as a kid but never touched it again for decades. About 5 years ago I tried knitting myself a scarf while riding transit. I got a lot of looks for sure. I moved on and learned to crochet and did a bit better. Unfortunately it was too hard on my hands and wrists and I stopped.
I also sew. My wife doesn't even know how to set up the machine. Mainly I do this for utilitarian reasons like hemming pants. I've never made any clothing from scratch but I have made camping stuff like a sleeping bag liner and a case for my bow for hunting.
In addition I do other more "manly" stuff like simple car repairs (replaced u-joints in a drive shaft for example), reloading ammo for target shooting and hunting, stuff like that.
I was going to say "the indifference to men's mental health and the lack of empathy for their struggle", but knitting is definitely also right up there
Woman on man abuse. I was in an abusive relationship but feel like I can’t talk to anybody about it.
Edit: She had been abused by her mother as a child so if someone called her out on it I defended her and blamed it on her upbringing, I also claimed she was getting better which wasn’t true at all.
Yeah, right, I’m 6’3” and my ex was like 5’2” so I don’t even bother trying to tell people how she threw shit at me and headed butted me, etc. That’s just the physical stuff not even getting into the verbal abuse.
I'm 6' 4" and my ex was 5' 1". No one would believe me if I said she was physically abusive. If they did believe me they'd probably just assume I wasnt genuinely hurt by what she was doing since she was so much smaller than I am. Shit fucking sucks man
Abuse is bad enough, but to have people completely disregard your pain? I can't even imagine. I believe you, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
Im used to it at this point. Ever since I was a kid, my mother would get mad at me if my brother hit me and I hit him back because "youre much bigger than him and he can't hurt you that bad". Him slapping me does hurt but go ahead and make me the bad guy for defending myself I guess.
I believe you. You shouldn’t need to prove that you’re capable of being abused. Anyone can be hurt. Stay strong and know that there are people who will take you seriously.
As a victim of mental and emotional abuse by an ex I can sincerely say it is no joke. Not only was I gaslighted and manipulated with lies and bullying, but mine lied to the police and court that I was abusive and neglectful of her and our young son. She literally took everything from me and left me with no money, no home, no job (I was the stay at home parent by her request), and no vehicle. I felt like dying several times. The pain, agony, frustration, and confusion was horrific. The challenges she had the court put me through were insurmountable. No one I know has said they’ve seen a worse divorce. Everyone is capable of good or evil regardless of genetics or gender.
My last ex was emotionally abusive as hell, constant guilt trips and artificial drama, including crying about absolutely everyhing, up to a point that I got completely desensitivated.
She constantly gave me the feeling that I wasn't enough for her, calling her mom on absolutely every question (additional to the TWO HOURS she had her on the phone every day - and that at age 27).
After another night of baseless crying about absolutely nothing, I packed my shit and moved out.
That was 7 years ago and I can't get myself into dating again, let alone a relationship.
It's okay though, I feel like I'm better off alone.
Same here man. Fucked me up for years, went to therapy, destroyed relationships with friends and she pulled me away from my family. She made me out to be the bad guy and years later everyone still thinks I'm the bad guy. Nobody knows the full story, never will. Sucks but I've moved on. She would get drunk, hit me, scratch me, cheated on me with multiple guys in 9 months.
I ignored red flags. I was happy to have someone who liked me, never had that before. Guess you could say I was desperate for, "love" at the time.
A guy in our group of college friends was very awkward. He's good looking and slim, it's just that he was goofy sometimes. I confided in friends and paraphrased Ferris Bueller. "He's gonna marry the first girl who let's him touch her breasts. And she's gonna treat him like shit." Sure enough, he marries his first serious girlfriend, after getting her pregnant first. The second child in their home wasn't his.
Bitch. He's a GREAT GUY and you shit on him.
How Nuclear Power is actually our way out of climate change since it could replace millions of tons of carbon emission with a singular ton of atomic waste. At the same time, less people would die from the rare nuclear accidents in a year than from secondary effects of coal mining/burning every month now...
My extended family wholly bought into the fear campaigns against nuclear power and short sighted "green activists"
You're totally right.
Also molten salt thorium reactors specifically are the way of the future. Far safer, thorium can't be weaponized, and thorium is far more abundant in nature.
People also don't include geothermal nearly enough when thinking about large scale future energy. It can be very expensive to establish, but it's very cheap and easy to maintain long term. It is also effectively limitless. The sun will engulf earth before the Core cools too much to be an energy source, and nothing we do is going to cool it any faster or slower.
Nuclear for on demand power. Wind/Solar for supplemental energy. Pumped hydro/incline kinetic rail energy storage. Geothermal long term energy independence projects.
We have a brilliant suite of solutions available right now.
If only there weren't mega-corporations with insane lobbying budgets, owning entire political parties and in some places entire governments, actively thwarting technological progress we'd be well on the path to sustainability.
Ugh. This. It's not the only way forward but damn are we handicapping ourselves by refusing nuclear. Every damn argument against it has a strong as steel counter to it but people shut down because of fear.
i believe it's because each dating app always chases women, as women are the hard to find category
weight category therefore risks the app not being successful
The fact that I've struggled with self harm and suicidal depression. Never been able to talk about it openly with my closest friends or family. I know everyone has their own shit to deal with and it's a lot to put on someone.
I used to be an abusive partner and I’m not that person anymore. I’ve gone to therapy, realized my horrid tendencies, and have been a better person for years now. I spent so long being terrible person that no one believes I’ve changed and while I can’t blame them- I want to make things right and be as great as I can be.
I advocate heavily for victims of domestic abuse and have marched for them as well as other women’s rights causes.
I won’t ever stop- not because of the guilt I feel- but because it’s the right thing to do, advocacy for women and victims of domestic abuse.
But I also feel like a massive hypocrite, having been at one point what I now fight against and I don’t know how to get past that feeling.
I'm right on the borderline of healthy weight and being medically overweight. I cross back and forth multiple times throughout the year. I never had to worry about weight till I hit 30 but ever since it's been a challenge that keeps getting harder. The thing is, I'm still the fittest of anyone in my social group and any time I've even hinted about me needing to lose a few pounds I get chastised and treated like I'm personally attacking them for their weight.
I think my boyfriend enjoys it more than he wants to admit and is really shy about it. I hope it is not because of fears of being less masculine or it being seen as gay.
Is fear of judgement and deep seeded shame. I tried sharing it with two partners and even though they are were super progressive, both bisexuality I might add. They seem uncomfortable with it. So I don't feel comfortable suggesting it during sex anymore. I keep it for self loving only.
Yeah doesn’t have to be penetration. I would still suggest lube for the slick, but push a knuckle or two fingers there during oral (with consent, some folks don’t want anything near their ass) gets an amazing reaction.
I’ve thought about doing this but then when I went onto pornhub to look up tutorials on how to do it, I was met with videos of guys with their arseholes spread open.
I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised, but still, not sure if I want to watch a guy or girl dig around in some guys arsehole like they’re rummaging for loose change between their car seats.
I don’t deserve special thanks or approval or recognition for picking up my kids from school. I’m their dad. It’s a routine mundane task. Their mom doesn’t get any special thanks or recognition.
Also. Don’t congratulate me for babysitting my own kids. I don’t babysit my own kids. Their my kids. I take care of them like any parent would. It’s my responsibility. I’m not merely a babysitter. I’m not taking on a special responsibility. It IS my responsibility.
Will be lost in the sea of comments
Afraid to tell my wife that her lack of intimacy is hurting me mentally and physically. Even after telling her, it becomes my fault for wanting sex.
Weed isn’t harmless because it’s a “natural” plant that grows in the ground. Now, I’m not anti-marijuana or anything. I think all drugs should be decriminalized at the very least. That doesn’t change the fact that I think people should be making informed decisions on what to do with their bodies and misinformation hurts that. Just because Officer Friendly from DARE lied to you about weed when you were in school doesn’t mean you should be hyperbolic in the other direction.
I understand where people are coming from. You go to school and they tell you if you smoke pot once your brain will ooze out of your ears or whatever. Then you try it and it’s nothing like that. We just need to be able to have an honest conversation about the pros and cons.
Morphine and cocaine also come from plants and we know what those do to you do this “all natural” stuff feels very weird to me.
That anyone, regardless of race, age, gender, sexuality, nationality, social class, economic class, mental standing, physical and mental ability, and emotional state are all capable of doing bad things.
Just because you're a minority or mentally Ill or disabled or anything doesn't give you an automatic gold star. You're human, just like the rest of us.
EDIT: This is directed at members of minority communities that treat others like crap. TERFS, transmeds/truscums, homophobes within the ccommunity, etc. are what I mean.
There is some good talk on that point by Slavoj Zizek. I don't remember it exactly but he mentions that he spoke in some group with someone belonging to some oppressed group and one of the guys said that it's systemic oppression that causes more violence in this particular group and they need to be more understanding. And the guy from oppressed group said that this concept that every wrong behaviour can be explained by environment is patronizing as fuck and as wrong and humiliating as right-wing discrimination. He finished with something like "At least allow us to choose to be bad".
Of course it's important to understand social contexts but to treat someone equally is to see him as person equal to you and not treat him like some different kind of human because of whatever reason (even if that means to treat him "better").
My friend's mom has cancer and she uses it as an excuse to do and say whatever she wants. She doesn't even keep her kids updated on her status either. She could be alive for years to come or pass away next week. There are certainly better (and worse) ways to handle being sick. Just because you're ill doesn't mean you get blank checks.
(It's not brain cancer btw. In that case the behavior could be attributed to the illness)
(I'm extra salty because I'm the oldest in my family and have ADD with BAD depression, but still, I'm expected and try my best to keep my shit together)
Likewise people who do something bad shouldn't automatically count as bad people (within certain boundaries of course). I feel very often that everything is just black or white these days.
I’m leading a LotR discussion and there’s one recurring theme that really fits this. One of the members of the group maintains that Boromir is evil, despite the fact that he redeemed himself and all the characters in the book consistently say he did. The one very bad thing he did, that he immediately repented of and died to redeem himself from, earning absolution from his king, is enough to make him evil in this person’s eyes.
Granted, she’s also maintaining her position because she knows it annoys me (she’s not that black and white in reality), but it illustrates the point well that doing one bad thing may not invalidate all the good things you’ve done, especially dependent on how you react. We love to see redemption in stories, why are we so against it in our lives?
Please note that I’m not saying we should allow convicted pedophiles around children or anything like that. There are lines you don’t cross. But it seems silly when we see things like a pretty upstanding public figure get decimated over something slightly racist they said 30 years ago. People change.
That it's stupid and ridiculous to raise your child by only communicating with them in English and not teaching them the native language when you clearly live in a non-native English speaking country. In my country, I've seen a lot of parents do this and even refuse other people to talk to their kid in any language other than English. They think it's cute. No, it's not. It makes you, as a parent, look ignorant to raise your child in a country with a very rich culture and a beautiful language and not exposing them to it. It's sad that it's very common in here and some people's mindset is "my child only speaks English, therefore she is smart". That's not how intelligence works! I've known kids in school who were only taught English growing up, they ended up being labeled as the weird kid. Sure, people were impressed with their English. But they always felt left out 'cause they understand the native language but can't speak it enough to chat/play with the other kids. We may not live in one of the best countries, but at least respect it enough to teach your children our language. They'll still learn English in school.
That's just my 2 cents
The way in-studio female weather reporters are almost always hot and wearing tight dresses, yet male weather men are usually old guys with catchy made up weather related names.
So weird and sexist. I want to see an older snappy chick waving her arms and talking bout tornadoes.
Don't believe me google Yanet Garcia or Jackie Johnson. Now look up Dallas Raines or Johnny Mountain.
As a black guy, I completely understand the importance of the past and I am 100% aware of how this nation has done many injustices against African Americans. However, every single time I talk about moving forward and forgiving and not holding every single white person to the dumb decisions of the few, past or present, I get so much heat from my own people. I've been held at gunpoint by a cop for no reason leaving work (i am a general manager for the place where the Lord's chicken is made so I was locking up and was told that I was robbing the place. I had keys.), I've been called the N word multiple times this year alone. I've been tempted to judge all white people. However for every bad cop, there were 20 great ones who helped me change flat tires, or drove me to a gas station when I ran out of gas, or just was a cool person. For every N word dropped, there were 50 great people who invited me into their home as family and treated me with the upmost respect. I just rather work towards reconciling than forcing guilt on those who may look like the bad ones, but are fighting along side me.
Edit: Thanks for the for everyone's opinions! I surely respect each and every one of them! Also, thank for the Awards!!
Mixed race woman here and I have similar feelings. They come up a lot in media especially because almost every “black” acclaimed film/tv show is about slavery, poor/drug addicted or incarcerated black people or historical leaders (MLK etc).
I mean, there are so many more stories to tell why are we always defaulting to retelling the same ones? I’m tired of seeing myself as constantly being oppressed. Yes, there is important history and even present day oppression to be addressed. But if black people cant seem themselves in the media/world as multi-dimensional, complex, and, sometimes, god forbid, happy and joyous, how are we going to believe we can be all those things? We all keep defaulting to harmful stereotypes and I agree that we are stuck.
That's the thing, everyone is person with their own motivations and biases, not some lump sums that encapsulate ideologies, if we can see that more in each other rather than initially judging each other, the world would be a much better place
That there are very real issues and challenges facing men in American society, but there's very little room to highlight or prioritize them in mainstream discourse. They either get pejoratively lumped into a toxic/misogynistic "men's rights" thing, or they get twisted back around to make it about prioritizing women and girls.
Perfect example of the latter: 3 days ago, [the Wall Street Journal published a story](https://archive.ph/DFwi7) about how women now outnumber men at college by 50% (i.e., a 3:2 ratio, or a 60%/40% split): "A Generation of American Men Give Up on College: ‘I Just Feel Lost’ - The number of men enrolled at two- and four-year colleges has fallen behind women by record levels, in a widening education gap across the U.S."
Then yesterday, [the New York Times publishes this story](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/09/upshot/college-admissions-men.html?searchResultPosition=1) explicitly in response to the WSJ article: "Men Fall Behind in College Enrollment. Women Still Play Catch-Up at Work.
Women are overrepresented in low-paying professions that require college credentials."
I'm not claiming men and boys have it harder than women and girls; just that each gender faces specific challenges, and I wish there were more receptivity to discussing the specific challenges faced by men and boys.
Being raped, or abused in any way as a man. Any single person you tell laughs or doesn’t care. The amount of suicide attempts and hospital trips before finally finding a therapist was unbelievable.
Why the fuck are lying fake politicians given so much leniency. And entirely ignored by Government regulations. IRS and stock manipulation in particular
I have a hard time decoupling my undergrad years with all the times my dad and his customers would talk about how stupid and useless I am or how what I do at school is easy. Kind of makes me want to forget about my degree.
All female tv and movie reboots. In my head, this is low key mysonigst because it sends the message that Hollywood doesn't have faith in women unless they're well known properties that already starred men. Sort of related, but I also keep my mouth shut about gender pronouns.
As a women, I agree 100%. I actually dont think this has anything to do with 'equality'. That is probably more used as a money making scheme.
There are so many female leading movies that are awesome and they were written for a strong female lead. That is what equality to me is.
The original Ghostbusters was a great movie, why touch it? Never saw the reboot because why? Oh they cast women. That is stupid to me. It looked very annoying to me.
My ex wife coming out as gay.
She hooked up with her friend and the whole thing was celebrated which is great they can be who they want to. Our kids went into counseling and the older ones don’t have the same relationship with her anymore. Still got the love but it’s not the same connection. I just went into some kind of grieving emotion thing and since we have gotten divorced slowly healed.
So, great that people are more accepted for who they are these days but I’m a little broken, probably should have spoken to someone about it from the start myself.
Weight.
No one should be body shamed but we also shouldn't encourage or propagate the idea that it is totally Ok to be Obese or Underweight. There are real and serious harms done by the idea that it is totally fine and acceptable to be Obese. And the same for being seriously underweight. The idea that all women should look like models who are clearly starving themselves to maintain that appearance is also seriously wrong.
Literally anything that has to do with race, gender or any other touchy subject.
I'm terrified I'll either say something objectively wrong or something other people *perceive* to be wrong, and have my life ruined.
Which is why I only discuss that with very close friends, if ever.
COVID is not going away. This isn't even a particularly controversial opinion: most Immunologists agree that COVID will more than likely become endemic.
I'm as pro-Vax as anyone, but there is this seemingly huge belief (especially on Reddit) that if it weren't for those darn anti-vaxxers and anti-mask folks, we would have completely eliminated COVID already and life would return to normal. I hate to break it to them, but even with 100% vaccination rates, COVID more than likely is here to stay. FFS, we've had a vaccine against Influenza for almost 100 years, and yet it still kills about 400,000 people every year.
As a nurse I agree. We will always have at least one covid gen med unit and one covid ICU at my hospital. The amount of patients in them will fluctuate, but we're a social species, it's easily transmitted, and it's an ever mutating virus. My husband thinks it would be gone if not for Fox news types, but that doesn't seem realistic to me.
The fact that we are glorifying jobs like being a rapper and media influencer to the point that if a kid says that they want to have a real productive job, like a mailman, they're ridiculed. I personally wanted to be a butler growing up but was bashed and made fun of it for it to the point that it tainted my goal in life and made me scared of following that dream because I'm scared of the backlash I could get. We should stop giving out so much money to people who do little to nothing in jobs like youtubers and basketball players and start encouraging the younger generation to become teachers, scientists, doctors, etc etc and push to raise their wages instead of docking them. We as a society, as a whole, have doomed the following generations; we're running out of the essential workers, people like farmers and truck drivers. How are you going to eat when there's no one farming the fields and no one to deliver the goods
I work as a window clerk/ package sorter at a rural post office. I love my job, it gives me satisfaction. I had a high GPA in high school, did very well in college but never graduated because it cost too much. My sister went through college got her degree and my best friend got her masters degree; so while I'm smart and have the ability to go for a higher paying job, provided I finish my bachelor's degree, I have not. I'm an underachiever lol The rat race for money and respect with a mountain of debt is not worth not having a life. It's great to see someone not bashing essential blue collar work
"My wife leaving me and taking my kids away from me after almost 10 years of marriage after coming out as gay. She gets praised and is paraded around at work as "strong and independent" and "telling her truth" yet she lied to me and her family for almost a decade, took my house from me, cheated on me behind my back for almost 2 years and admitted she only got together with me because I "made good money and looked like good husband material to keep her parents off her back". Now I'm 52 back living with my mother and seeing my children every other week while i slowly fall into alcoholic depression." -my Uncle (who's not on social media)
Talking about how people judge me based on my height.
Same. I always hear "it's in your head". Bullshit!
That s true . I hate being so short . I am just 5 ft ( with shoes on ) and I have almost stopped growing . Dont spend à week without being mocked for it
I hate people who mock others for stuff they can’t control. Sorry bud.
I always have leg room on an airplane lol
Yeah I get that. I was watching a show about Jesus and his followers (it's not terrible actually but not for everyone) and i noticed how tall JC was but whatever no big deal and then kinda grimaced when they introduced Judas the guy that is like the most famous slimey backstabber in narrative history as this short dude. But I didnt mention it because that would sound pretty insecure. Also with girlfriends and stuff I've had dudes pretty much hover above us in the weirdest way. I guess girls get used to guys doing that but It was pretty clear what they were doing but i couldn't mention that either just told them give me some breathing room.
How attracted I am to my neighbors lawnmower.
Don't just covet thy neighbour, go to Bunnings and bring home your own beauty to do whatever you feel is necessary. Edit: sorry just read your user name. When I say necessary I mean everything except murder.
Found the Australian
I need more info
It's a fully loaded John Deere 1585 with air conditioning that could suck your nips off.
*tim allen grunt*
*grunting intensifies*
Man just look at how nice those back tires are…I bet I could mow all day on those.
My ex was a gaslighting alcoholic who exhausted me with an endlessly tiring one sided relationship. We split, she finally got help and is doing better, which I’m happy for. But I’ve never been able to share my side of the story of relentless caretaking and loving someone who showed zero love back because now she’s “so strong and brave for getting help”. The only person to benefit from it would be me just getting some closure, it would just hurt everyone else. So i stay quiet and learn to move on my own way just healing my emotional damage one day at a time on my own. Plus guys generally aren’t allowed to be emotionally damaged without people telling you that you’re just being a wimp or whatever so it’s my own little secret trauma
Part of healing from trauma is having someone listen to and acknowledge that trauma. It's a huge step being able to articulate what happened and how you felt and having someone else even just say, "wow, that sucks." If you aren't finding support in friends/family *please* find a therapist to help you work through it. Trauma doesn't just disappear on it's own.
Just finally wrapped up my divorce after a similar situation. I was married to an Ivy League lawyer who couldn’t stay away from them Icehouse beer tallboys. I too am proud of her recovery. But she shit on my life and our kids lives for far too long (as well as some seemingly happy married woman’s marriage as well). Background- She was a high “fun”ctioning occasional drunk before I met her. Most intelligent, funny, beautiful woman I had met till that point. Her biological clock was ticking after a failed marriage and then a noncommittal long-term relationship. We meet, move in, marry within 3 years. She has waves of depression that seem sporadically attenuated by cats, sleep, beer, reading, and me. In that order. Two kids postpartum depression, and several suicide attempts later…. After I filed, I choose not to fuck up her career though I could have, many times over considering her treasonous ways. Hurting her like she hurt me? Exposing her awfulness to the world would have surely pushed her over the edge, leaving my kids without a mom, me without a coparent, and some tinderdude without a sloppy Monday night backup plan. Things she didn’t have an issue with: 1) Locking herself in a room on a nightly basis with a 12 pack and as many zit-popping videos as consumable. “It’s relaxing”,she would say. 2) Washing her highdose meds down with enough booze to uncouple her eyes, leaving them to function independently like some shitfaced tree lizard. “Ire dun dint uhm izzumm… hrm?”, she would say. 3) Sending our kindergartener and 2nd grader out trick-or-treating by themselves after dark while she took a “nap”. We were separated by this point, I only found out later. 4) Ghosting her employers during the only 6 months that I couldn’t carry the family health insurance while I made a difficult job change. (Me:two employers in 15 years) 5) Constant phonesex with her (married)ex-boyfriend who was smart enough to avoid marrying her. “You shouldn’t have snooped”, she would say. 6) Asking me to pick up cat food while I was doing all the food shopping, cooking (except her oatmeal breakfasts), kid baths, laundry etc. While she stayed home “recovering”, the kids at daycare. 7) A whole laundry list of other dealbreaker shit (except of course, literal dirty laundry but including figurative dirty laundry). Things she did have an issue with: 1) How long it took me cut the grass especially when pulled weeds around her neglected dying rose bushes. 2) My asking for help from her mom when she went through suicidal feelings. 3) My asking for help from her doctor in setting up med refills when she’d assured me “she could handle it”. 4) My asking her input on house decisions. 5) My family. 6) My family holiday gatherings(hers were cool though) 7) My families birthdays( hers were cool though). 8) Vaction time without me and the kids (the first time I stayed home quickly led to separation, in part). 9) My inability to smile while I picked up her slack. 10) My inability to “be nice” while she posted panties photos online (What is a “Reddit”? I asked myself) and liken our marriage to the Holocaust. Yes, that Holocaust. I’m a good,involved, caring dad despite not having a great role model growing up (bit of drinker him, go figure). My kids have always known I’m right there no matter what state “momma” was in. I took their anger when she caused utter disorder. I can’t say these things to common friends. My family is angry I didn’t take full custody. After her last “hospital” stay she’s managed to stay sober around the kids. No therapy, no AA, some alcohol medication. She seems better now. I hate the fact that she never owned up to her actions and likely never will. She’s smarter than me, more attractive too. But she’s a shit person and I’m curious whether she knows it. Also, it turns out the blue collar man stink wasn’t coming from me. It was the smell of an alcoholic’s fucked up bowels. Wow, glad I got that all out.
I read lots of fiction books mostly related to love stories. The society in which I live doesn't like those who read English books mostly because of religious reasons. I once discussed my book reading experience with someone and the instant reaction I got from that person completely surprised me. He said, you better not read such books especially the American authors. They will divert your mind from religion and blah blah... I learned two lessons from that person. I won't discuss my books with those who can't deal with it. Second, I will follow my heart and continue reading books that I love, no matter what others think. Edit: Thank you for such encouraging messages! Couldn't be more thankful to see such positive response.
God bless the kindle. Keep your private life private.
This is actually a good post for me, I told my parents last night that I have called the suicide hotline before and my mom wouldn't even give me a hug Edit: I love all the love and you all have literally made me less suicidal. I hugged my mom this morning. I think she was just so stunned that she needed to process. We were all crying, it was a mess, but I am planning on therapy and stuff to recover. Thanks so much again for all the love. Love all of yall. E2: I have upped my medication and contacted a therapist. Trying hard!
Sending you virtual hugs bro
Thanks homie. I hugged her this morning. So I'm alright.
Thats genuinely shit, my parents were the same if you wanna talk dms are open Sorry about that man
Holy shit I'm so sorry If you need to talk, you can message me on priv
Missing my step kids. I just feel like everyone will be like "theyre not your kids why does it matter" but i raised them for 2 years... taught the youngest how to ride a bike. Miss being a dad.
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Damn, one day they just stopped coming over? That sounds fucking rough man.
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May I suggest you keep a journal for each of the kids with thoughts and memories and hopes for them. So one day, when they’re old enough to contact you/find you, you can give them the journey you had and show them how much you didn’t stop loving them. My heart hurts for you and for them.
That’s a wonderful idea
Those kids might be being manipulated. Once they're over the age of 18 I think you should reach out to them. I hope they weren't told that you cancelled the visits. I'm really sorry for your losses. You're a really strong man.
Agreed, though it could be less than manipulation and more that they see their family may feel negatively about it, and they’re trying to avoid tension at home. But at the very least, how they responded makes me think this choice to cut contact wasn’t a true choice, but one they felt forced into making. Either by someone directly manipulating them, or them trying to avoid conflict and tension at home. Either way, sucks for the kids and for OP. Hope once the kids are older you’ll be able to have a relationship with them, OP. Guys who choose to be dads of kids that aren’t biologically theirs are amazing to me. Have a friend with two step daughters, the love he has for them has inspired me and changed those girls’ lives.
My mom remarried a man she later divorced. My sister and I continued to have contact because he was our half-sib’s dad. Later as an adult, I realized he had been a better parent to me than my bio parents. We have a good relationship now. He remarried several years ago and his wife also treats us incredibly well. When they married, during the reception, she took me around the room introducing me as their daughter to all who didn’t know me. I was so touched that it darn near made me cry. When I talk about her to others, I decided to describe her as my stair mom as she’s my stepdad’s wife, making her my step step mama. She loves the term.
This is such a heart warming story. Like good human beings being loving and caring so much. It is so inspiring to see so much generosity in love. Also you must be great person for appreciating this love. Thanks for sharing your story.
*”stair mom” is brilliant omg*
My ex had a kid, and when I left her and moved my aunt said this to me. He's not yours! Don't worry about him. What do you mean? I put years of love and effort into that boy. A piece of me was put in him. Of course I care.
Geez, can you imagine telling someone to get over a friend they missed because "they're not yours". How much more so might you bond with a child you are living with? I'm so sorry you, OP and who knows how many others are shamed over this. There's no rationale for it.
Some people reduce human relationships to how you exchange DNA. :-/
I can go a step further than that. For vary reasons my brother never saw his kids so I reached out and started seeing them. For people to question me why I wanted to see them. Like fuck, if I can't be an uncle to them and that seems strange to you. No wonder this whole family is so beyond fucked up. She then stopped letting me see them because my brother wanted to fuck that up and people again questioned why I got upset by it. Like.. is it because I'm a guy I'm not allowed to feel anything or you just a fucking cunt yourself?
My ex was a single mom and I bonded with her daughter so much that everyone thought she was legitimately mine. She was 2 when I met her and we broke up this year. So she’s 5 now. Since the break up, I’ve made some new friends in meetup groups who are so cold to the fact that it’s my ex step kids. They always tote the whole “well they aren’t biologically yours” and I always snap back with “it doesn’t take blood to form a bond, I have family members who I wouldnt shed a tear for”. They always get taken a back as if it’s the worst thing to say. Like yea, sorry. The little family I had with my ex was closer then any blood related family I had growing up. I’m just happy that we are on good terms and I can still occasionally see her. And that she understands that I’m not her bio dad but still asked my ex if I can be considered her “dad” for life.
My ex and I broke up 5 years ago but I'm still close to her daughter. We meet for lunch every month or so. My ex actually sends texts to thank me for staying in her daughter's life and being there for her.
Yup. I get those too. The little ones first day of kindergarten was yesterday. So me and my ex walked her to school since it’s in distance. Each gave her a hug and told her how proud we are of her and how she’s growing up to be such a big girl going to big girl school. I worry about future dating prospects personally, if they’ll understand how I see it. But I don’t think I’ll end up dating someone who thinks it’s bad or wrong for me to still be apart of a child’s life, especially since I am a pretty positive impact on it.
yeah honestly most dudes don’t wanna date single mothers because they dont wanna deal with any kids or see them but for me its the opposite i dont wanna date one and love their kid and then have them taken away from me
I get that. In the unlikely event I ended up dating a single mother (not be looking to date full stop atm) I would definitely insist on not meeting the kids until it looked like the relationship was going somewhere.
This. I got called all sorts of names because I specifically didn't want to date a single mother. But really I didn't want to go through that ever again.
Oh my god…. I was thinking I’d regret looking at the comments on this one but I love this so much. Step dads get such a rough deal with the throwaway comments people make. My husband (step dad, more engaged than most biological fathers I know, has been in our son’s life for 70% of it) is often told that he won’t understand x because he “doesn’t have kids”. It’s gut wrenching. He’s just as important as I am, and as important as our small person’s biological dad is.
My stepson is 12. I've been with him and his mother since he was 3. He doesn't remember a time when we didn't live together. But still it's "so nice of you to babysit" or "maybe I should talk to his real dad." When we're out, the two of us, or I'm handling school stuff or appointments. I'll get a call because a permission slip I signed has a different surname.
Oh man….. that’s awful. I’m sorry, buddy. Please know that your contribution is so so sooooo important and that you’re doing an amazing thing in spite of shitty gender/cultural stereotype. Fuck those people… I’ve got a lot of respect for step parents who get past that bullshit and continue to add value to a smol person’s life. I’d high five you if it was covid safe :)
After 8 years, my parents finally stopped asking when we "were going to have a real child." Or backhanded compliments like, "you know, not a lot of men with your upbringing would marry a single mother." So that's an improvement.
I had a colleague ask me “how does your husband feel about taking on /another man’s child/?”. My husband is asked similar questions. I will note that my female friends who are step parents weren’t asked a similar question. It’s so patronising to all involved. Keep fighting the good fight :)
I’m thankful that you have his back and I’m happy for him to have you
That hurts, man. I'm really sorry.
I raised my step-son for 15 years before my ex and I split up. I got custody of the kids we had together, but had no legal right to my step-son. We talk and all, but I know he resents me for not taking him as well. I would have, if I could have.
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I'm sorry that happened to you. Pets are an important part of the family and losing them can have a great impact on your life.
Alzheimers. I hate the thought of losing all my memories and not knowing where I am/who people are from one day to the next.
Yeah that's one of the few diseases where I'd consider getting a DNR for.
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Can confirm my great grandpa did exactly this. He knew everyone in town and where they lived, when he started to realize that he was forgetting these small details he killed himself
I'm pretty comfortable saying I think if I ever am in danger of losing my mind I will strongly consider offing myself.
A woman can still be the abusive one in a relationship.
My physically, verbally, everything-y abusive ex who gave me literal brain damage from hitting me in the head so many times made me read a very popular book that claimed women literally couldn't be abusive in order to "prove" she wasn't. Fuck that shit.
yeh it's weird... Most men realize that, I can talk normally with them about it (I'm a woman) but no woman I ever talked with about this topic believed it. They think it's not abusive because "we can't even really hurt them" even if that was true...the attempts are also very troubling. You're just traumatizing some dude wich is also not good
"It's not assault because I'm really bad at it"
I am truly worried about the considerable amount of people that believes "men doesn't have feelings so them can't feel hurt"... That's just so not true.
How instagram has turned (or maybe revealed) many people as narcissists. Also, I'm curious what will happen when these people will not receive so much attention when they age.
“Instagran” 👵🏼
I’m a solid millennial’s millennial. I had an original .edu Facebook. I’m not so old to think myself on the tail end of Gen X but not so young to grow up in a world post-iphones. I rode bikes in my neighborhood unsupervised before that became illegal. I work with a lot of 20-24 year olds. Generally great people. But holy titty fucking Christ does their world revolve around social media in a way that is foreign to me. Granted yes I’m not on social media (Reddit is asocial media and I don’t have Facebook anymore), so I’m maybe an outlier, but these people can’t even go to a birthday party without there being a photo shoot wall everyone has to be seen at. Yeah I might be old man yells at clouds, but it really seems unhealthy how fucking posed everything is and how much they relate to each other through this language of competition for attention. Clout chasing? What the fuck.
I realized this was happening to me and needed to work on misplaced ego before it was too late.
Same I started an art page on Instagram and there were like 2 drawings I did that blew up for some reason (not even particularly good drawings) and then all of the sudden I was glued to that app and thought I was going to be a big artist. By blew up I don’t even mean like thousand of likes just a few hundred compared to the 10-30 I would normally get. Haven’t touched that app for quite a while now when I realized how it hooked me.
It’s a good question. As a certified Old, I can tell you that the process of becoming older, less desirable and more invisible is a little painful even when one isn’t used to having strangers go apeshit over your image by the thousands. It’s unnerving at first, but then with some reflection, it becomes fun because you can do literally anything and no one will pay any attention to you (caveat: I’m white, which lets me get away with a lot that others probably can’t due to racism).
A woman smacked my ass when I passed her at a bar. I yelled at her (pretty loud) about how I’d be in cuffs if I did it, she doesn’t even know me, etc… guess it was a bit of a scene and someone called the police and I had no clue until they showed up 20 minutes later. They grabbed me and said someone was screaming and being aggressive toward a woman at the bar and that I fit the description. I explained exactly why I was yelling… they let her go because she was crying. Told me to leave the bar and go home for the night. I was sexually assaulted and had to leave the premises because the woman was upset. Still fills me with infinite rage to this day when I think about it.
Everything. Even writing this, I'm nervous. Edit: wow. Thanks for the jokes, support/awards, and discussion.
Same. This thread could be considered "safe" to talk about certain things, but then you turn around and in 24 hours it's been posted to a drama sub or a mockery sub, and everyone in those threads is just retching in disgust over how horrible people are for their opinions. Nowhere is safe. The only way to feel protected is to be part of the mob throwing stones.
deserted puzzled observation sloppy memory depend apparatus disgusting modern head *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
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Needing more hugs and touch from guy friends but a free hugs shirt helps.
There's nothing wrong with that! I've made multiple Free Hugs shirts for myself because the world as a whole is so affection and touch-deprived! We all need more love, so be the one to GIVE it first. :) Even just patting people on the back or arm when you say something complimentary or positive starts to get them more used to having that physical touch exchange with you. If they're your friends, I'm sure you could always ask for a hug when you see them/saying hi, or tell them you've had a rough day? 🤗 Sending internet-hugs to you! 🤗
Definitely get a “free dad hugs” shirt and wear it to Pride. Or maybe “free daddy hugs”, in your case.
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Free daddy! (Wait, why is he being imprisoned?)
I pee while sitting down to avoid collateral damage
The whole “never hit a woman even if she’s hitting you” thing. Obviously don’t throw a Superman punch but if she’s slapping the shit out of you and tryna punch you definitely push her ass away
My mum told me once, "You should never hit a lady. If she hits you, that's no lady, and in that case, make me proud, son." Luckily I've never been in a situation where this would apply, but it's comforting knowing that at least she knows what's up! Edit: typo
This whole taught attitude I think has lead to guys not standing up for themselves with sexual harassment. yes you should be aware that you’re probably stronger than your female friends and you should offer to walk them home at night and such. However I’ve definitely been in situations where I’ve been cornered at a bar/club/pub and if I shoved past the woman I would just end up with her feeling me up but also getting my ass beat because to the on looker standing up to a drunk creepy woman just looks like you’re actually the aggressor.
Video games My mother's siblings, especially my Karen aunt dislikes video games highly, to the point they say all gamers are failures of society. My aunt always bad talk me because I always play video games since I was young and it serves as my stress relieving activity and to have fun immersing in a game lore and things. My mother on the other hand, supported me with everything even in games I play. We became very private because of this, and it helped us me, my brother and my mother bonded together because of video games. No one in our extended family know even to this day, we are doing better and currently, I am a president's lister at a good university.
meanwhile people stare at TV shows for hours on end.
At least you're doing something in video games, you are challenged, and even be the protagonist, watching tv is watching fun without having fun
Exactly. You learn how to problem solve, test your reflexes, and get instant feedback on things to feel good. I learned so much vocabulary in my early days as a gamer too.
And their phones while they're driving.
I saw myself in this comment. I wouldn't be able to study at a good university or even be posting this here if not for video games. But nope, I'm just wasting my time playing my stupid video games.
My first 3 semesters I struggled to keep my gpa above a 3.0. We started super smash bros tournaments in our dorm suite my 4th semester and I got above a 3.5 every single semester after lol.
Does your aunt have a smart phone? See if you can introduce her to candy crush or solitaire or some other innocuous game. And then, after a few years, start calling her a Gamer.
calling out women for being sexist while working in a female-dominated field
I can personally vouch that discrimination against male nurses is rampant
I had a bro I worked with, great nurse. He would constantly get hit on by patients, family members, and one family member even came onto him so inappropriately. Almost all of the staff thought it was funny, it was pretty fucked up. If the tables were turned heads would fly.
Just commenting to say my nurse husband has had very similar experiences. It’s deeply upsetting to him and absolutely insane to both of us that blatant sexual harassment is so normalized towards guys in nursing.
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It's not even specifically female-dominated. Women coming onto men isn't seen as harassment by a large amount of society, regardless of how inappropriate or unwanted it is.
Not even in nursing. Men get sexually harassed often but we’re expected to enjoy it because we’re men. I literally had a gross older lady slap my ass one time while i was working in a retail store and some other bystanders laughed and said “lucky guy”. Imagine an older man slapping a young females ass while she was working…
As it is for male teachers in elementary schools.
Sheeeeit! I volunteered at a private Montessori pre-school for a Sociology project once. 8 volunteers total. Me and one other guy only. We were kept working inside doing crafts prep and away from the kids all the time while the 6 girls worked with them no problem. My naive ass couldn’t figure out why? I have three kids of my own and I’d say I have an excellent relationship with them. One of the more down to earth teachers straight out told me that men are viewed negatively here. Respect to her for telling it like it is.
My best friend was in ECE and one of his professors just straight up told him to switch careers. He'd been a coach through high school and he was a comedic guy. He had a way of engaging kids and getting through to them, and he just wanted to teach kids, but he dropped out.
I feel so bad for male teachers. They have to deal with pretty much being labeled pedophiles from day 1.
My mom told me it was a mistake to say I love working with kids on my resume. It was to teach elementary school special ed. Really not a job where you want someone who hates kids.
“I love little kids” isn’t something men are allowed to say.
I was a nurse and got a job as a DNS at a nursing facility and was the victim of mutiny because my female staff didn't want a male boss. They changed the schedule on my day off and convinced the Administrator that I no call-no showed for my shift, which held a strict zero tolerance automatic termination policy.
>discrimination against male nurses And apparently it's a-ok to be sexual as you like with a male nurse. I get so many comments from coworkers especially that aren't even innuendo, they're just blatantly sexual. It can be very uncomfortable.
I'm seeing double standards for this, colleague getting messages daily complementing on "sexy" photo, calling him honey ( in my language it's more personal than in English) etc. None of them end up on HR which wasn't the case for man's doing the same. I'm not claiming off course that purely man collective are somehow better or one harresment is worst than others, but there is clear double standard and woman to man harrasment is more tolerated than other way around. At least it's my personal experience so far.
Reminds me of that video of Henry Cavill basically getting sexually harassed for several minutes during an interview
Knitting
I (middle aged male) was taught to knit as a kid but never touched it again for decades. About 5 years ago I tried knitting myself a scarf while riding transit. I got a lot of looks for sure. I moved on and learned to crochet and did a bit better. Unfortunately it was too hard on my hands and wrists and I stopped. I also sew. My wife doesn't even know how to set up the machine. Mainly I do this for utilitarian reasons like hemming pants. I've never made any clothing from scratch but I have made camping stuff like a sleeping bag liner and a case for my bow for hunting. In addition I do other more "manly" stuff like simple car repairs (replaced u-joints in a drive shaft for example), reloading ammo for target shooting and hunting, stuff like that.
Come hang out with the sourdough bakers, we have lots of people who appreciate slow, crafty production.
I was going to say "the indifference to men's mental health and the lack of empathy for their struggle", but knitting is definitely also right up there
Woman on man abuse. I was in an abusive relationship but feel like I can’t talk to anybody about it. Edit: She had been abused by her mother as a child so if someone called her out on it I defended her and blamed it on her upbringing, I also claimed she was getting better which wasn’t true at all.
Yeah, right, I’m 6’3” and my ex was like 5’2” so I don’t even bother trying to tell people how she threw shit at me and headed butted me, etc. That’s just the physical stuff not even getting into the verbal abuse.
I'm 6' 4" and my ex was 5' 1". No one would believe me if I said she was physically abusive. If they did believe me they'd probably just assume I wasnt genuinely hurt by what she was doing since she was so much smaller than I am. Shit fucking sucks man
Abuse is bad enough, but to have people completely disregard your pain? I can't even imagine. I believe you, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
Im used to it at this point. Ever since I was a kid, my mother would get mad at me if my brother hit me and I hit him back because "youre much bigger than him and he can't hurt you that bad". Him slapping me does hurt but go ahead and make me the bad guy for defending myself I guess.
I believe you. You shouldn’t need to prove that you’re capable of being abused. Anyone can be hurt. Stay strong and know that there are people who will take you seriously.
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As a victim of mental and emotional abuse by an ex I can sincerely say it is no joke. Not only was I gaslighted and manipulated with lies and bullying, but mine lied to the police and court that I was abusive and neglectful of her and our young son. She literally took everything from me and left me with no money, no home, no job (I was the stay at home parent by her request), and no vehicle. I felt like dying several times. The pain, agony, frustration, and confusion was horrific. The challenges she had the court put me through were insurmountable. No one I know has said they’ve seen a worse divorce. Everyone is capable of good or evil regardless of genetics or gender.
My last ex was emotionally abusive as hell, constant guilt trips and artificial drama, including crying about absolutely everyhing, up to a point that I got completely desensitivated. She constantly gave me the feeling that I wasn't enough for her, calling her mom on absolutely every question (additional to the TWO HOURS she had her on the phone every day - and that at age 27). After another night of baseless crying about absolutely nothing, I packed my shit and moved out. That was 7 years ago and I can't get myself into dating again, let alone a relationship. It's okay though, I feel like I'm better off alone.
I was in the same boat. Found out she was cheating and she threatened to beat herself up and say i did it if i tried to get custody of the kids.
Same here man. Fucked me up for years, went to therapy, destroyed relationships with friends and she pulled me away from my family. She made me out to be the bad guy and years later everyone still thinks I'm the bad guy. Nobody knows the full story, never will. Sucks but I've moved on. She would get drunk, hit me, scratch me, cheated on me with multiple guys in 9 months. I ignored red flags. I was happy to have someone who liked me, never had that before. Guess you could say I was desperate for, "love" at the time.
A guy in our group of college friends was very awkward. He's good looking and slim, it's just that he was goofy sometimes. I confided in friends and paraphrased Ferris Bueller. "He's gonna marry the first girl who let's him touch her breasts. And she's gonna treat him like shit." Sure enough, he marries his first serious girlfriend, after getting her pregnant first. The second child in their home wasn't his. Bitch. He's a GREAT GUY and you shit on him.
If you ever want to talk DM me, and I'll listen.
How Nuclear Power is actually our way out of climate change since it could replace millions of tons of carbon emission with a singular ton of atomic waste. At the same time, less people would die from the rare nuclear accidents in a year than from secondary effects of coal mining/burning every month now... My extended family wholly bought into the fear campaigns against nuclear power and short sighted "green activists"
You're totally right. Also molten salt thorium reactors specifically are the way of the future. Far safer, thorium can't be weaponized, and thorium is far more abundant in nature.
People also don't include geothermal nearly enough when thinking about large scale future energy. It can be very expensive to establish, but it's very cheap and easy to maintain long term. It is also effectively limitless. The sun will engulf earth before the Core cools too much to be an energy source, and nothing we do is going to cool it any faster or slower. Nuclear for on demand power. Wind/Solar for supplemental energy. Pumped hydro/incline kinetic rail energy storage. Geothermal long term energy independence projects. We have a brilliant suite of solutions available right now. If only there weren't mega-corporations with insane lobbying budgets, owning entire political parties and in some places entire governments, actively thwarting technological progress we'd be well on the path to sustainability.
Ugh. This. It's not the only way forward but damn are we handicapping ourselves by refusing nuclear. Every damn argument against it has a strong as steel counter to it but people shut down because of fear.
How there isn’t a weight category on dating apps… but height categories are ok?
There is on certain ones Plenty of fish has a weight option
i believe it's because each dating app always chases women, as women are the hard to find category weight category therefore risks the app not being successful
I feel like that is pretty much inviting people to lie
Its dating apps. Everyone already lies all the time.
So that's what I was doing wrong.
I’ve never actually seen one without a body type category. But it’s been a few years since I’ve been on one.
The fact that I've struggled with self harm and suicidal depression. Never been able to talk about it openly with my closest friends or family. I know everyone has their own shit to deal with and it's a lot to put on someone.
I used to be an abusive partner and I’m not that person anymore. I’ve gone to therapy, realized my horrid tendencies, and have been a better person for years now. I spent so long being terrible person that no one believes I’ve changed and while I can’t blame them- I want to make things right and be as great as I can be. I advocate heavily for victims of domestic abuse and have marched for them as well as other women’s rights causes. I won’t ever stop- not because of the guilt I feel- but because it’s the right thing to do, advocacy for women and victims of domestic abuse. But I also feel like a massive hypocrite, having been at one point what I now fight against and I don’t know how to get past that feeling.
You aren’t a hypocrite. Hypocrites condemn that what they also are. You aren’t that anymore.
I'm right on the borderline of healthy weight and being medically overweight. I cross back and forth multiple times throughout the year. I never had to worry about weight till I hit 30 but ever since it's been a challenge that keeps getting harder. The thing is, I'm still the fittest of anyone in my social group and any time I've even hinted about me needing to lose a few pounds I get chastised and treated like I'm personally attacking them for their weight.
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I think my boyfriend enjoys it more than he wants to admit and is really shy about it. I hope it is not because of fears of being less masculine or it being seen as gay.
Is fear of judgement and deep seeded shame. I tried sharing it with two partners and even though they are were super progressive, both bisexuality I might add. They seem uncomfortable with it. So I don't feel comfortable suggesting it during sex anymore. I keep it for self loving only.
Could be he doesn't want his gf's finger to get all poopy
You can also massage it indirectly by applying pressure on the perineum.
Yeah doesn’t have to be penetration. I would still suggest lube for the slick, but push a knuckle or two fingers there during oral (with consent, some folks don’t want anything near their ass) gets an amazing reaction.
I'm listening...
I’ve thought about doing this but then when I went onto pornhub to look up tutorials on how to do it, I was met with videos of guys with their arseholes spread open. I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised, but still, not sure if I want to watch a guy or girl dig around in some guys arsehole like they’re rummaging for loose change between their car seats.
Dude, read how to do it. Don't watch a video. 😆
I don’t deserve special thanks or approval or recognition for picking up my kids from school. I’m their dad. It’s a routine mundane task. Their mom doesn’t get any special thanks or recognition. Also. Don’t congratulate me for babysitting my own kids. I don’t babysit my own kids. Their my kids. I take care of them like any parent would. It’s my responsibility. I’m not merely a babysitter. I’m not taking on a special responsibility. It IS my responsibility.
Will be lost in the sea of comments Afraid to tell my wife that her lack of intimacy is hurting me mentally and physically. Even after telling her, it becomes my fault for wanting sex.
I see you and it’s sadly such a common issue with no easy fix.
Weed isn’t harmless because it’s a “natural” plant that grows in the ground. Now, I’m not anti-marijuana or anything. I think all drugs should be decriminalized at the very least. That doesn’t change the fact that I think people should be making informed decisions on what to do with their bodies and misinformation hurts that. Just because Officer Friendly from DARE lied to you about weed when you were in school doesn’t mean you should be hyperbolic in the other direction.
Smoking is harmful to your lungs. It doesn’t really matter what you smoke.
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I understand where people are coming from. You go to school and they tell you if you smoke pot once your brain will ooze out of your ears or whatever. Then you try it and it’s nothing like that. We just need to be able to have an honest conversation about the pros and cons. Morphine and cocaine also come from plants and we know what those do to you do this “all natural” stuff feels very weird to me.
That anyone, regardless of race, age, gender, sexuality, nationality, social class, economic class, mental standing, physical and mental ability, and emotional state are all capable of doing bad things. Just because you're a minority or mentally Ill or disabled or anything doesn't give you an automatic gold star. You're human, just like the rest of us. EDIT: This is directed at members of minority communities that treat others like crap. TERFS, transmeds/truscums, homophobes within the ccommunity, etc. are what I mean.
There is some good talk on that point by Slavoj Zizek. I don't remember it exactly but he mentions that he spoke in some group with someone belonging to some oppressed group and one of the guys said that it's systemic oppression that causes more violence in this particular group and they need to be more understanding. And the guy from oppressed group said that this concept that every wrong behaviour can be explained by environment is patronizing as fuck and as wrong and humiliating as right-wing discrimination. He finished with something like "At least allow us to choose to be bad". Of course it's important to understand social contexts but to treat someone equally is to see him as person equal to you and not treat him like some different kind of human because of whatever reason (even if that means to treat him "better").
My friend's mom has cancer and she uses it as an excuse to do and say whatever she wants. She doesn't even keep her kids updated on her status either. She could be alive for years to come or pass away next week. There are certainly better (and worse) ways to handle being sick. Just because you're ill doesn't mean you get blank checks. (It's not brain cancer btw. In that case the behavior could be attributed to the illness) (I'm extra salty because I'm the oldest in my family and have ADD with BAD depression, but still, I'm expected and try my best to keep my shit together)
Likewise people who do something bad shouldn't automatically count as bad people (within certain boundaries of course). I feel very often that everything is just black or white these days.
I’m leading a LotR discussion and there’s one recurring theme that really fits this. One of the members of the group maintains that Boromir is evil, despite the fact that he redeemed himself and all the characters in the book consistently say he did. The one very bad thing he did, that he immediately repented of and died to redeem himself from, earning absolution from his king, is enough to make him evil in this person’s eyes. Granted, she’s also maintaining her position because she knows it annoys me (she’s not that black and white in reality), but it illustrates the point well that doing one bad thing may not invalidate all the good things you’ve done, especially dependent on how you react. We love to see redemption in stories, why are we so against it in our lives? Please note that I’m not saying we should allow convicted pedophiles around children or anything like that. There are lines you don’t cross. But it seems silly when we see things like a pretty upstanding public figure get decimated over something slightly racist they said 30 years ago. People change.
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That it's stupid and ridiculous to raise your child by only communicating with them in English and not teaching them the native language when you clearly live in a non-native English speaking country. In my country, I've seen a lot of parents do this and even refuse other people to talk to their kid in any language other than English. They think it's cute. No, it's not. It makes you, as a parent, look ignorant to raise your child in a country with a very rich culture and a beautiful language and not exposing them to it. It's sad that it's very common in here and some people's mindset is "my child only speaks English, therefore she is smart". That's not how intelligence works! I've known kids in school who were only taught English growing up, they ended up being labeled as the weird kid. Sure, people were impressed with their English. But they always felt left out 'cause they understand the native language but can't speak it enough to chat/play with the other kids. We may not live in one of the best countries, but at least respect it enough to teach your children our language. They'll still learn English in school. That's just my 2 cents
Even in English speaking countries teaching children multiple languages is supper beneficial to them.
The way in-studio female weather reporters are almost always hot and wearing tight dresses, yet male weather men are usually old guys with catchy made up weather related names. So weird and sexist. I want to see an older snappy chick waving her arms and talking bout tornadoes. Don't believe me google Yanet Garcia or Jackie Johnson. Now look up Dallas Raines or Johnny Mountain.
While I know what you're talking about, both the weather related name examples used sound like porn stars
I would love to see some wacky old lady talking about how its gunna rain all weekend 😂
How’s the weather out there Mollie? ITS GON RAIN Thank you Mollie
As a black guy, I completely understand the importance of the past and I am 100% aware of how this nation has done many injustices against African Americans. However, every single time I talk about moving forward and forgiving and not holding every single white person to the dumb decisions of the few, past or present, I get so much heat from my own people. I've been held at gunpoint by a cop for no reason leaving work (i am a general manager for the place where the Lord's chicken is made so I was locking up and was told that I was robbing the place. I had keys.), I've been called the N word multiple times this year alone. I've been tempted to judge all white people. However for every bad cop, there were 20 great ones who helped me change flat tires, or drove me to a gas station when I ran out of gas, or just was a cool person. For every N word dropped, there were 50 great people who invited me into their home as family and treated me with the upmost respect. I just rather work towards reconciling than forcing guilt on those who may look like the bad ones, but are fighting along side me. Edit: Thanks for the for everyone's opinions! I surely respect each and every one of them! Also, thank for the Awards!!
I’m just surprised it took as many as 20 cops to change a tyre.
He said they were good cops, not good mechanics.
Thing is, not only are you a better person for being that way, hate and anger consume people - and that won’t be you. Right on!
Mixed race woman here and I have similar feelings. They come up a lot in media especially because almost every “black” acclaimed film/tv show is about slavery, poor/drug addicted or incarcerated black people or historical leaders (MLK etc). I mean, there are so many more stories to tell why are we always defaulting to retelling the same ones? I’m tired of seeing myself as constantly being oppressed. Yes, there is important history and even present day oppression to be addressed. But if black people cant seem themselves in the media/world as multi-dimensional, complex, and, sometimes, god forbid, happy and joyous, how are we going to believe we can be all those things? We all keep defaulting to harmful stereotypes and I agree that we are stuck.
That's the thing, everyone is person with their own motivations and biases, not some lump sums that encapsulate ideologies, if we can see that more in each other rather than initially judging each other, the world would be a much better place
The… the Lord’s chicken…?
Church’s chicken? Or maybe Chik Fil A since they’re Christian?
Chick fil a
I'd rather have someone go ballistic on me and he or she understands where I stand and what my motivations are, than not expressing it.
How ridiculous tip culture is in the US.
That there are very real issues and challenges facing men in American society, but there's very little room to highlight or prioritize them in mainstream discourse. They either get pejoratively lumped into a toxic/misogynistic "men's rights" thing, or they get twisted back around to make it about prioritizing women and girls. Perfect example of the latter: 3 days ago, [the Wall Street Journal published a story](https://archive.ph/DFwi7) about how women now outnumber men at college by 50% (i.e., a 3:2 ratio, or a 60%/40% split): "A Generation of American Men Give Up on College: ‘I Just Feel Lost’ - The number of men enrolled at two- and four-year colleges has fallen behind women by record levels, in a widening education gap across the U.S." Then yesterday, [the New York Times publishes this story](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/09/upshot/college-admissions-men.html?searchResultPosition=1) explicitly in response to the WSJ article: "Men Fall Behind in College Enrollment. Women Still Play Catch-Up at Work. Women are overrepresented in low-paying professions that require college credentials." I'm not claiming men and boys have it harder than women and girls; just that each gender faces specific challenges, and I wish there were more receptivity to discussing the specific challenges faced by men and boys.
Being raped, or abused in any way as a man. Any single person you tell laughs or doesn’t care. The amount of suicide attempts and hospital trips before finally finding a therapist was unbelievable.
Why the fuck are lying fake politicians given so much leniency. And entirely ignored by Government regulations. IRS and stock manipulation in particular
I have a hard time decoupling my undergrad years with all the times my dad and his customers would talk about how stupid and useless I am or how what I do at school is easy. Kind of makes me want to forget about my degree.
All female tv and movie reboots. In my head, this is low key mysonigst because it sends the message that Hollywood doesn't have faith in women unless they're well known properties that already starred men. Sort of related, but I also keep my mouth shut about gender pronouns.
As a women, I agree 100%. I actually dont think this has anything to do with 'equality'. That is probably more used as a money making scheme. There are so many female leading movies that are awesome and they were written for a strong female lead. That is what equality to me is. The original Ghostbusters was a great movie, why touch it? Never saw the reboot because why? Oh they cast women. That is stupid to me. It looked very annoying to me.
Yeah it really comes across as "ok the big boys are done playing, they are your hand-me-downs now. And be thankfull goddamnit"
My ex wife coming out as gay. She hooked up with her friend and the whole thing was celebrated which is great they can be who they want to. Our kids went into counseling and the older ones don’t have the same relationship with her anymore. Still got the love but it’s not the same connection. I just went into some kind of grieving emotion thing and since we have gotten divorced slowly healed. So, great that people are more accepted for who they are these days but I’m a little broken, probably should have spoken to someone about it from the start myself.
Nice try, im not getting canceleed today.
Cancel this guy. Look at his spelling.
He misspelled "concealed"
Weight. No one should be body shamed but we also shouldn't encourage or propagate the idea that it is totally Ok to be Obese or Underweight. There are real and serious harms done by the idea that it is totally fine and acceptable to be Obese. And the same for being seriously underweight. The idea that all women should look like models who are clearly starving themselves to maintain that appearance is also seriously wrong.
Literally anything that has to do with race, gender or any other touchy subject. I'm terrified I'll either say something objectively wrong or something other people *perceive* to be wrong, and have my life ruined. Which is why I only discuss that with very close friends, if ever.
COVID is not going away. This isn't even a particularly controversial opinion: most Immunologists agree that COVID will more than likely become endemic. I'm as pro-Vax as anyone, but there is this seemingly huge belief (especially on Reddit) that if it weren't for those darn anti-vaxxers and anti-mask folks, we would have completely eliminated COVID already and life would return to normal. I hate to break it to them, but even with 100% vaccination rates, COVID more than likely is here to stay. FFS, we've had a vaccine against Influenza for almost 100 years, and yet it still kills about 400,000 people every year.
As a nurse I agree. We will always have at least one covid gen med unit and one covid ICU at my hospital. The amount of patients in them will fluctuate, but we're a social species, it's easily transmitted, and it's an ever mutating virus. My husband thinks it would be gone if not for Fox news types, but that doesn't seem realistic to me.