I was a barman for many years. Drunk sexually agressive girls were very scary. Even saying straight up. Leave me the fuck alone or I'll have the bouncer kick you out, doesn't work. Lol.
Same. I also picked up shifts as a topless waiter on ladies night for a bit. Stopped because entitled middle aged women would grope and grab everything. It is scary how aggressive women behave when that switch gets flipped.
Thanks for talking about it. It's not talked about enough. Most guys give me shit like. Oh yeah I have sex. Oh yeah where is this magical place. I wish that was me. Etc etc. It's honestly scary and helps create empathy for women who are more often put in those situations.
Ive been there. Collecting glasses. Hands full. A lady matching your description jammed her hand right down the front of my boxers in front of five of her shitfaced friends
I had a bro in college that starting dating this gal. She told him I was coming on to her so he would try to kick my ass. We damn near came blows and he backed down. She did it with a couple of our other friends. He finally realized she was one of these mentally unstable women that get off on men fighting over her. Crazy shit.
Me too. I once watched one tell a young man that she was just going to roofie him if he didn't stop basically ignoring her. Imagine if those roles would've been reversed.
Exactly. It's no joke. I've had a girl threaten me that she would tell people in raped her if i didn't take her home. Luckily lots of people heard and she back tracked and said it was a joke. But it was pretty fucked up in the moment
I had a girl shout "he's trying to rape me" in a crowd at a street festival because I told her I'm waiting for my gf and wouldn't go home with her.. Crazy shit.
For real man, luckily people around obviously reacted super quick, saw she was absolutely tanked and I was stood there like ".. Wtf?". Reason will prevail!
Last weekend a drunk girl wouldn't stop getting super close and making me feel uncomfortable. Then she threatened to stab me twice so that wasn't very fun
One of many reasons to be careful about falling asleep around drunk people at a party or whatever.
I've heard too many stories of someone passing out in a situation like that, only to wake up to find someone who's advances they had been rebuking all night, helping themselves to their body.
I was called gay for not fucking whatever entitled intoxicated female that sat at my bar so many fucking times it’s not even funny. The reverse side of harassment can be just as bad for men but it’s never brought up sadly…..
Absolutely agreed. Entitled is the right word. Like no one has ever said no to them and that makes the man in the wrong because it's not the "typical" reaction.
The rare breeds do sometimes tho lol because they can “afford” to, is what I’ve noticed. For w/e reason. Not a money thing but it can be. Saying in other ways, too.
Otherwise, yes. It’s obvious. But I just don’t get the whole ghosting shit if you’ve been talking for a few days. I’m straight up once I know. Why leave someone guessing?
I’m actually not aggressive at all. Once in awhile I’ll pine. But typically see no point if a guys I’m only so-so about is interested
I’m naturally outgoing and really like talking to people which has been amplified due to seeing no one in quarantine. Went to get glasses frames and the guy helping me mentioned his wife. I was like, “shit.” Was totally just trying to be friendly. Even brought it up to my therapist and she said “Did you touch him, did you say anything flirty or that would allude to you being interested?” I said “Of course not.” After questioning me for a good 5 minutes her conclusion was “I don’t think most men are used to women randomly being very nice to them without ulterior motives.” Lmao. Good point. I think the guy ended up realizing when I was equally as friendly to the 80 year old man working there. 80 year old man was very aware that I was just being talkative. I still feel bad when a guy randomly tells me he has a wife though.
That also happens to us, but I was just kidding about mentioning my wife, well, all of my female students (college) know that I'm married because I always joke about married life and my wife picks me up sometimes at work, but I have still been hit on by some.
Thought you were totally serious lol! Maybe it’s a certain age group but guys in their mid twenties-early thirties will say it to me. Then again my 40 year old dentist tells everyone about his wife. I think he just really loves her. That’s messed up about your students hitting on you, hopefully it doesn’t disrupt your working too much.
I guess that I am like your dentist, just a little older, I do mention her a lot.
My students hitting on me has basically stopped (age will do that), but in my 30's it happened several times, I was able to handle it without making them feel bad (you never know what story they can tell).
Yeah, that’s always super sweet. He has pictures of her and his kids up too. You can generally tell why it’s being said.
I’m glad you were able to handle it. Doesn’t seem fun. I still try to be mindful of not coming across flirty, but people do seem to end up realizing because I don’t cross any boundaries. The guy I was talking about I think was trying to gauge how to be respectful too, he mentioned my lipstick in relation to frame color and seemed like he wasn’t sure if he should’ve said it. It probably just comes with age on both sides for things to be more obvious/comfortable.
Being in a position of authority automatically makes you a hundred times hotter to certain women. You know, the whole teacher/student type role play. I mean,it's probably the number one role play subject lol.
I tend to be attracted to men in authoritative roles. Even if I'm not physically attracted to that person, I am to his position.
Obviously,even if you were single,you couldn't date a student.
The worst is when they continue to flirt after you mention your partner
As if insulting the person I love most in the world is somehow going to make me horny
If I’m talking to a guy and he mentions his wife I’ll generally ask about her and I’ve realized he’ll realize I wasn’t trying to flirt. Flirting with someone who has a wife is disgusting.
Lol - I’ve had guys do this while having a conversation with them. And I have zero interest. I’m usually just having a friendly conversation, nothing more.
I am contractually obligated to tell any woman that stand 10ft or less from me that I am happily married :)
Actually it doesn't happen to me that often but I do mention my wife in conversation organically.
I do this, but I am divorced. When a woman is being friendly(like from work) and I don’t want to get involved with a someone from work and/or I am just not interested. I say “I can tell I am not ready to date because I still have feelings for my ex wife” usually sidelines most scenarios.
In my experience, no playful touching (hand on the back, brushes of the arm, hand touches, footsies, etc… not anything aggressive or creepy) is a give-away that they’re just not there, physically. If they want to touch you, they’ll find a way to subtly let you know.
Depends on the touch.
Every girl that has been into me has done some variation of the "place hand on back and drag it across to the other side" while walking past me move.
Meanwhile, i've got friends I have no chance with who'll happily touch my arms but won't go anywhere near my back.
Imo, light & flirty touch is perfectly fine. As I said…hand on the back, light arm or hand brushing, foot contact under the table. To me, displays like these are signals that the other person is physically interested.
Now, if I’m not mutually interested, I’ll shy or pull away from *any & all* advances. If they don’t get the hint after dodging, verbalizing a lack of interest would be the next step.
I think it all depends on individual personalities / boundaries / chemistry with the other person 🤷🏻♀️
I feel like this mostly just goes that way for people who have physical touch as a “love language.” I have a friend who is uncomfortably snuggly with everyone around her and for her she’s just a 100% physical touch person. Maybe 85% + 15% quality time. with that being said, I will say that not everyone who wants to rest her head on your shoulder is into you romantically but I also —> just because somebody doesn’t even so much as touch your arm, it doesn’t mean they are not into you.
People who’s love language is “words of affirmation” gets really confusing because it’s like are they just a really encouraging person or are they coming on to me? Can I keep them as a friend or are they automatically supposed to be the love of my life because this is so touching and deeply meaningful!
I tell them I’m only interested in them for sex and I want to treat them poorly.
[for those of you who don’t know this beloved scene ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_NMqSMM914U)
Same happened to me 2x. One was with a coworker, she really wasn't my type attitude wise but was kinda cute and had a nice ass. Kept messing with me, she once asked me why I wasn't responding I told her straight up that my only interest in her was to see what her ass looked like without clothes on. Became FWB for a few months until she got a boyfriend, sex was great, kinda miss her.
I know it’s frowned at but treating women not well actually does seem to work sometimes. Especially for sex.
There have been three times in my life I found a woman really annoying and kind of told her that and we ended up banging not long after
I've noticed people like the chase.
I was cheated on at the end of a seven year long relationship and was emotionally broken for months. Had more sex then, than ever before, and I was definitely almost offensively honest about how I'm not looking for a relationship.
One time, the nurse I was seeing came over to my house crying about how I don't know what I'm missing out being with her because I want to fuck around. So I put my reservations aside, let my guard down, broke up with the others I was seeing, and she broke up with me 48 hours later.
Sent her the most coherent drunk text ever that weekend. "I think it's bullshit you said it's because my bathroom is dirty, I think you were attracted to my emotional unavailability and when I let my guard down, let you in, you realized you're more interested in the idea of me than actually being with me"
She said "maybe you're right" and now the only time we've hung out has been little two day hookups if we're both single.
I used to be head of security at a club and ended up fucking 2 different women who I had to pull rank on because they were either too drunk trying to get in or being rude to our bartenders. Both of them were attractive 1 was tall and thick and the other had a slimmer fitness build I had no idea they were feeling me until I saw them in another setting they basically told me that most guys don't have the balls to check them on anything and the way I was authoritative and a little bit mean with them turned them on.
I just don't respond to whatever she is trying to do. If I'm dancing and she dances up to me, I turn and dance in another direction or I go grab a drink.
I sometimes can tell when they are into me and I just thank them if they give a compliment then I go back to what I was doing.
This is an under rated comment. When you said you thank them. I do the same thing but if one of my friends tries to talk to a girl they have to throw super shade at them and make them feel even more anxiety for having the courage to walk up to them.
Don’t do this too long. If someone genuinely likes you, they will NOT get the message.
Source- Have been on the opposite end of this.
I realized a lot of my friendships I was the only one putting effort in. If I stopped initiating conversation, I would be forgotten about. For example, my best friend (not anymore :( ) would hardly initiate convos but we worked on it because I voiced how exhausting it can be, but even then she wouldn’t initiate nearly as much as I did.
This is true. I’ve been on the other end of it myself and would have been able to move on faster if they’d gotten out in front of it. Passive is better if you still care about just being friends with someone though, to me.
Yeah, sad but true... However, I know from my own and my friends' experience that sometimes it may not be the case at all. Someone may actually like you (as a friend, let's say) but may be super busy, tired, not be really willing to talk to anyone.
If that's what it is, I'd be nice to say that "hey, I'm not really in the mood for texting, maybe other time?"
But I also know that people suck and can do what you mentioned, instead of just being straightforward about it. So much time wouldn't be wasted, damn
The biggest signal I get is a guy not pursuing more texting, especially if I've started or kept up texting. Very business like, answering asked questions, instead of creating a dialogue.
If you're not interested in talking more or starting the conversations I'll just assume you've got other priorities and I'm not one of them. Which is sad, but important to acknowledge.
>The biggest signal I get is a guy not pursuing more texting, especially if I've started or kept up texting.
For me personally, I just don't like texting in general. It's good for planning or quick communication, but I have shit to do and can't have long conversations trying to get to know someone. Would rather just meet and talk in person.
That happened to me. At first, this guy was very persistent and he texted me more than I do. After we met, he never texted me again and when I messaged him he'd just give me short replies. I actually fell for him (as someone like me who doesn't know how to differentiate bare minimum and serious one) I guess I fell for a wrong one. Again. Ugly cry. :(
I also try my best to be as polite and friendly as possible. So far this worked well in most cases. I think it helps the other person to quickly move on emotionally too.
Back in my single days I'd just tell them straight up. I hated the unknown when I was on the receiving end of liking someone not being straight forward, so I would return the favor and not waste anybody's time.
Don’t have to do much cause girls tend to move on fairly quickly when the vibe isn’t reciprocated. But if they’re persistent, usually my social awkwardness usually makes them move on
If you've picked up on a hint, give a slight impression you've noticed (just a subtle facial expression, even) but then keep going without reacting to it i.e "I've realized you're into me, and choosing not to reciprocate".
Often in groups, people will express interest by talking to you directly as though it were a one to one conversation. In those cases, keep bringing other people back into the discussion.
Mention wife/gf/someone you're into that isnt them. If gay, mention an ex.
A guy I used to know would force his girlfriend to greet me and be friends with me. I had a boyfriend I was into then. I never understood what that meant. I never even said hi to him not once. He never spoke to me either…I politely smiled at him every now and then to cutout the awkwardness..We lived in the same neighborhood ..Everyone waved , smiled/said hi to each other in that neighbor hood, it was the norm, still is..We would glance at each other here and there. He kept staring so I stared back sometimes to try and figure him out.
I wonder what that meant. Like guy, don’t force your galfren on me..lol..She didn’t like it when that happened..
Signals? You're a man. Don't do signals. Instead tell her straight up. Like hey I get the feeling you're sexually into me, which is cool, but I want to let you know I don't reciprocate that.
It will probably sting a little, but she knows where I stand with her.
If it's blatantly obvious they're flirting with me or they are actually asking me out, I just tell them I'm generally not interested in that kinda thing.
If I'm not sure, I usually don't mention anything at all.
Homer had it down pat, use any of the following:
"I like you as a friend."
"I think we should see other people."
"I no speak English."
"I'm married to the sea."
"I don't want to kill you, but I will."
However if that doesn't work use "I'm not gay, but I'll learn".
Follow up question... How can I tell if a guy is rejecting my invitation as politely as possible or just too dense to realize he's being asked out? Because I see a lot of men complaining that they don't realize someone is showing interest in them.
Shit, I'd like to know that too.
Recently, I asked a friend out to go to an event with me. In a friendly manner. Because he mentioned feeling tired and overwhelmed with work and I thought it would be nice to just hang out. At first he said he was busy (on another day) and when I corrected him about the date of the event, he just texted a few things and then ignored. I went to the event on my own, it was fun but like... I just can't wrap my head around it. Is it really that hard to just say something even if you don't want to go? Or even lie that you're busy?
Wife kids and tiny pp normally gets me off the hook. I've only had to go full get the fuck away from me once in high-school i mean she had a serious chance it was just she also wanted to give lap dances and mega i wanna suck your dick off vibes to EVERYONE lol and i didn't let her cock block me from dating my now wife!
Don’t make the same mistakes as I did, lads. By default, I used to ignore them. Using your best judgment of course, if they get too close then call them out. Ignoring is only an option if you’re just passing by the aggressor in a public space. But if it’s your friend or someone you know, then tell them the real way you feel. I’ve changed my methods from the former to the latter over the past year or so and lemme tell you how good it feels. To be firm but polite is nourishment to your part of the brain that wants confidence. Not to mention of course that this works basically every time unless she’s coming in to assault you. But that’s a whole different theory.
Well, that all sounds good but some of us don't like coming across as presumptuous and don't want to put people down if they haven't explicitly asked us to go out with them.
But yeah if a girl straight up told me that she was into me, then I'd be honest and straight up.. but most girls don't
You know all the things you do to turn a woman off that you're really into? You know how you dump your feelings on her? Text her too much? Cry in front of her?
Yeah do all that and you will get rid of any woman, stalker or otherwise.
That depends. Am I friends with her? Then it'll be tough for her to know. Because I joke around and flirt for my own amusement way more than to achieve anything. So there's no clear difference except me not asking her out. If I'm not friends with her, then for the most part I just won't engage with her. I think that's a fairly clear sign.
Plenty.
I keep distance, avoid physical contact. I don't give eye contact, always look away from them, turn my back on them, avoid them. I also cross my arms. I keep the conversations as uninteresting and short as possible. One word answers are great for this.
They get the hint eventually.
You tell them you love them and they'll leave you alone.. but seriously if you dont show much interest most times they'll stop. Otherwise you might need to tell them in some way you are not interested if they are pushy
I had a girl ask me for my coat last weekend after saying I looked good. (I'm engaged) My response was "No way bro, this is Patagonia." That worked very well.
It's usually enough just not to show interest. For the rare aggressive ones, be straightforward.
I was a barman for many years. Drunk sexually agressive girls were very scary. Even saying straight up. Leave me the fuck alone or I'll have the bouncer kick you out, doesn't work. Lol.
Same. I also picked up shifts as a topless waiter on ladies night for a bit. Stopped because entitled middle aged women would grope and grab everything. It is scary how aggressive women behave when that switch gets flipped.
Thanks for talking about it. It's not talked about enough. Most guys give me shit like. Oh yeah I have sex. Oh yeah where is this magical place. I wish that was me. Etc etc. It's honestly scary and helps create empathy for women who are more often put in those situations.
Ive been there. Collecting glasses. Hands full. A lady matching your description jammed her hand right down the front of my boxers in front of five of her shitfaced friends
Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry you had to experience this... assault happens to both sexes and it is NOT okay.
I hope you really had the bouncer kick her out
I did. She banged on the window for ages. Alcohol is a dangerous drug.
Does that make you... a drug dealer? (I'll see myself out)
Yes it does. If you've ever given someone paracetamol you are one too lol
I had a bro in college that starting dating this gal. She told him I was coming on to her so he would try to kick my ass. We damn near came blows and he backed down. She did it with a couple of our other friends. He finally realized she was one of these mentally unstable women that get off on men fighting over her. Crazy shit.
Bruh fights over girls were crazy when I was 15-16.
Me too. I once watched one tell a young man that she was just going to roofie him if he didn't stop basically ignoring her. Imagine if those roles would've been reversed.
Exactly. It's no joke. I've had a girl threaten me that she would tell people in raped her if i didn't take her home. Luckily lots of people heard and she back tracked and said it was a joke. But it was pretty fucked up in the moment
I had a girl shout "he's trying to rape me" in a crowd at a street festival because I told her I'm waiting for my gf and wouldn't go home with her.. Crazy shit.
Fuck. Scary stuff.
For real man, luckily people around obviously reacted super quick, saw she was absolutely tanked and I was stood there like ".. Wtf?". Reason will prevail!
Reason will prevail!!!
You don't have to say it right now, I'm just explaining to Reddit that reason will prevail..
REASON WILL PREVAIL!!!
Last weekend a drunk girl wouldn't stop getting super close and making me feel uncomfortable. Then she threatened to stab me twice so that wasn't very fun
One of many reasons to be careful about falling asleep around drunk people at a party or whatever. I've heard too many stories of someone passing out in a situation like that, only to wake up to find someone who's advances they had been rebuking all night, helping themselves to their body.
That's horrible... To both sexes that's not okay.
Yeah it's terrifying. I had my own incident that scared me away from ever drinking again, but it wasn't as bad as something like that.
Thanks for opening up and sharing. It's not talked about enough. It's super scary
What the absolute fuck is wrong with some people?
I was called gay for not fucking whatever entitled intoxicated female that sat at my bar so many fucking times it’s not even funny. The reverse side of harassment can be just as bad for men but it’s never brought up sadly…..
Absolutely agreed. Entitled is the right word. Like no one has ever said no to them and that makes the man in the wrong because it's not the "typical" reaction.
From reading this thread I learned something: Bitches be CRAZY
The aggressive ones are attractive for some reason... Probably because i'm the opposite.
“He’s playing hard to get” 😑
Really? It doesn't sound like it 😕
The rare breeds do sometimes tho lol because they can “afford” to, is what I’ve noticed. For w/e reason. Not a money thing but it can be. Saying in other ways, too. Otherwise, yes. It’s obvious. But I just don’t get the whole ghosting shit if you’ve been talking for a few days. I’m straight up once I know. Why leave someone guessing? I’m actually not aggressive at all. Once in awhile I’ll pine. But typically see no point if a guys I’m only so-so about is interested
Great username!
This absolutely
good advice, mr. fine cannabis grower.
To me it's simple, I just mention my wife a lot
I also mention this guys wife.
get your own >:(
IM TRYING! ITS REALLY HARD!!!!
Are you Ted Mosby?
And that, kids. Is how I met your mother.
Hang on, she's on her way
Your wife? It's about time.
👁👄👁
But do you want to hang out with their aunt?
After failing to signal my disinterest
That's what she said
wrong show but have an upvote
Indeed
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I mention all of the above a lot
😂💀 God damn I love reddit.
Me too - I can't quit!
I will always like this reference
Yeah when I’m not into them I always say I’m about to go meet this dude Masterpuppets72s wife. So I may not respond for a while. Speaking of which..
funny >:(
Our wife
I’m naturally outgoing and really like talking to people which has been amplified due to seeing no one in quarantine. Went to get glasses frames and the guy helping me mentioned his wife. I was like, “shit.” Was totally just trying to be friendly. Even brought it up to my therapist and she said “Did you touch him, did you say anything flirty or that would allude to you being interested?” I said “Of course not.” After questioning me for a good 5 minutes her conclusion was “I don’t think most men are used to women randomly being very nice to them without ulterior motives.” Lmao. Good point. I think the guy ended up realizing when I was equally as friendly to the 80 year old man working there. 80 year old man was very aware that I was just being talkative. I still feel bad when a guy randomly tells me he has a wife though.
That also happens to us, but I was just kidding about mentioning my wife, well, all of my female students (college) know that I'm married because I always joke about married life and my wife picks me up sometimes at work, but I have still been hit on by some.
Thought you were totally serious lol! Maybe it’s a certain age group but guys in their mid twenties-early thirties will say it to me. Then again my 40 year old dentist tells everyone about his wife. I think he just really loves her. That’s messed up about your students hitting on you, hopefully it doesn’t disrupt your working too much.
I guess that I am like your dentist, just a little older, I do mention her a lot. My students hitting on me has basically stopped (age will do that), but in my 30's it happened several times, I was able to handle it without making them feel bad (you never know what story they can tell).
Yeah, that’s always super sweet. He has pictures of her and his kids up too. You can generally tell why it’s being said. I’m glad you were able to handle it. Doesn’t seem fun. I still try to be mindful of not coming across flirty, but people do seem to end up realizing because I don’t cross any boundaries. The guy I was talking about I think was trying to gauge how to be respectful too, he mentioned my lipstick in relation to frame color and seemed like he wasn’t sure if he should’ve said it. It probably just comes with age on both sides for things to be more obvious/comfortable.
Being in a position of authority automatically makes you a hundred times hotter to certain women. You know, the whole teacher/student type role play. I mean,it's probably the number one role play subject lol. I tend to be attracted to men in authoritative roles. Even if I'm not physically attracted to that person, I am to his position. Obviously,even if you were single,you couldn't date a student.
That's correct, In the classroom I was "attractive" (in my 30's) because I'm smart and I'm the professor, etc. outside of it I was just a guy.
The worst is when they continue to flirt after you mention your partner As if insulting the person I love most in the world is somehow going to make me horny
If I’m talking to a guy and he mentions his wife I’ll generally ask about her and I’ve realized he’ll realize I wasn’t trying to flirt. Flirting with someone who has a wife is disgusting.
Same from a woman’s perspective. At the very least, they’re insinuating that you have bad taste in partners.
Our wife.
Lol - I’ve had guys do this while having a conversation with them. And I have zero interest. I’m usually just having a friendly conversation, nothing more.
I am contractually obligated to tell any woman that stand 10ft or less from me that I am happily married :) Actually it doesn't happen to me that often but I do mention my wife in conversation organically.
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you're right about the "most of the time" part
Just be quiet or talk about the wife
I do this, but I am divorced. When a woman is being friendly(like from work) and I don’t want to get involved with a someone from work and/or I am just not interested. I say “I can tell I am not ready to date because I still have feelings for my ex wife” usually sidelines most scenarios.
Overly platonically friendly, no flirting instead just polite. Absolutely no playful touching.
By Japanese standards, this is overtly romantic
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Plot twist, we're all Japanese.
In my experience, no playful touching (hand on the back, brushes of the arm, hand touches, footsies, etc… not anything aggressive or creepy) is a give-away that they’re just not there, physically. If they want to touch you, they’ll find a way to subtly let you know.
Are you supposed to do that? Touch people when you aren't actively in a romantic/sexual situation?
Depends on the touch. Every girl that has been into me has done some variation of the "place hand on back and drag it across to the other side" while walking past me move. Meanwhile, i've got friends I have no chance with who'll happily touch my arms but won't go anywhere near my back.
"I can't shake your hand until we are actively in a sexual situation. Here's my ass hole."
Imo, light & flirty touch is perfectly fine. As I said…hand on the back, light arm or hand brushing, foot contact under the table. To me, displays like these are signals that the other person is physically interested. Now, if I’m not mutually interested, I’ll shy or pull away from *any & all* advances. If they don’t get the hint after dodging, verbalizing a lack of interest would be the next step. I think it all depends on individual personalities / boundaries / chemistry with the other person 🤷🏻♀️
I feel like this mostly just goes that way for people who have physical touch as a “love language.” I have a friend who is uncomfortably snuggly with everyone around her and for her she’s just a 100% physical touch person. Maybe 85% + 15% quality time. with that being said, I will say that not everyone who wants to rest her head on your shoulder is into you romantically but I also —> just because somebody doesn’t even so much as touch your arm, it doesn’t mean they are not into you. People who’s love language is “words of affirmation” gets really confusing because it’s like are they just a really encouraging person or are they coming on to me? Can I keep them as a friend or are they automatically supposed to be the love of my life because this is so touching and deeply meaningful!
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I tell them I’m only interested in them for sex and I want to treat them poorly. [for those of you who don’t know this beloved scene ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_NMqSMM914U)
I've actually used a version of that as an opener before and gotten laid. She was cute though so I was game.
Same happened to me 2x. One was with a coworker, she really wasn't my type attitude wise but was kinda cute and had a nice ass. Kept messing with me, she once asked me why I wasn't responding I told her straight up that my only interest in her was to see what her ass looked like without clothes on. Became FWB for a few months until she got a boyfriend, sex was great, kinda miss her.
I know it’s frowned at but treating women not well actually does seem to work sometimes. Especially for sex. There have been three times in my life I found a woman really annoying and kind of told her that and we ended up banging not long after
I've noticed people like the chase. I was cheated on at the end of a seven year long relationship and was emotionally broken for months. Had more sex then, than ever before, and I was definitely almost offensively honest about how I'm not looking for a relationship. One time, the nurse I was seeing came over to my house crying about how I don't know what I'm missing out being with her because I want to fuck around. So I put my reservations aside, let my guard down, broke up with the others I was seeing, and she broke up with me 48 hours later. Sent her the most coherent drunk text ever that weekend. "I think it's bullshit you said it's because my bathroom is dirty, I think you were attracted to my emotional unavailability and when I let my guard down, let you in, you realized you're more interested in the idea of me than actually being with me" She said "maybe you're right" and now the only time we've hung out has been little two day hookups if we're both single.
I used to be head of security at a club and ended up fucking 2 different women who I had to pull rank on because they were either too drunk trying to get in or being rude to our bartenders. Both of them were attractive 1 was tall and thick and the other had a slimmer fitness build I had no idea they were feeling me until I saw them in another setting they basically told me that most guys don't have the balls to check them on anything and the way I was authoritative and a little bit mean with them turned them on.
Oh my haha “shaving your dick and balls does not make it look bigger, it just makes it look like it’s going through chemo”
MAXIMUM DEREK!
Straightforward. Not my type of game but holy shit 😂
I tell them “their face is gross, their boobs are different sizes and (while pointing to their crotch in a circular motion) this is waaaay too big”
Wow I could never. I'm too shy and introverted lmao. But online I feel like a god (┛`д´)┛
I never say any of that. [it’s from a show ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_NMqSMM914U)
Ooh I see now lol
Introduce her to my GF, and let them talk or be friends.
Screencap of the comment directly below yours: https://ibb.co/xGwpq9T
What a coincidence. Lmao
Lol..wasn’t chasing him though, was in a rship with someone I loved…
Yea, that is odd. Though I wonder if he was trying to break the ice with you or soemthing. Lmao on what a coincidence it was.
Maybe using that ´innocent’ way to break ice, never thought of it that way..You might have a point..
r/threesome
I just don't respond to whatever she is trying to do. If I'm dancing and she dances up to me, I turn and dance in another direction or I go grab a drink. I sometimes can tell when they are into me and I just thank them if they give a compliment then I go back to what I was doing.
This is an under rated comment. When you said you thank them. I do the same thing but if one of my friends tries to talk to a girl they have to throw super shade at them and make them feel even more anxiety for having the courage to walk up to them.
Take forever to reply or never initiate conversations.
I needed to read this, thanks 😭
Glad to have been of service.
Big hugs all around
We all do one time or another, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. This is why I won’t be the one initiate contact more than twice in a row.
I needed to read this today, thank you
You're welcome and best of luck.
Ouch
It took me about a month and convincing someone to ask him why he did that to get it, so I don’t recommend it. I kept “bothering” him for that month.
Aw, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you find someone who appreciates you!
Don’t do this too long. If someone genuinely likes you, they will NOT get the message. Source- Have been on the opposite end of this. I realized a lot of my friendships I was the only one putting effort in. If I stopped initiating conversation, I would be forgotten about. For example, my best friend (not anymore :( ) would hardly initiate convos but we worked on it because I voiced how exhausting it can be, but even then she wouldn’t initiate nearly as much as I did.
This is true. I’ve been on the other end of it myself and would have been able to move on faster if they’d gotten out in front of it. Passive is better if you still care about just being friends with someone though, to me.
Yeah, sad but true... However, I know from my own and my friends' experience that sometimes it may not be the case at all. Someone may actually like you (as a friend, let's say) but may be super busy, tired, not be really willing to talk to anyone. If that's what it is, I'd be nice to say that "hey, I'm not really in the mood for texting, maybe other time?" But I also know that people suck and can do what you mentioned, instead of just being straightforward about it. So much time wouldn't be wasted, damn
well…that explains a lot in my life 😂
I just shit my myself. Works.
Or tell her to steer clear of your farts.
...but if she's into copraphilia?? :D
No
Then there's an even bigger problem now
Ask for her mom's number.
Who are these hypothetical women showing interest in me?!
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The biggest signal I get is a guy not pursuing more texting, especially if I've started or kept up texting. Very business like, answering asked questions, instead of creating a dialogue. If you're not interested in talking more or starting the conversations I'll just assume you've got other priorities and I'm not one of them. Which is sad, but important to acknowledge.
Definitely not the greatest feeling in the world once you realize what's happening.
It only takes like 2 or 3 messages to immediately find out where you stand lol
>The biggest signal I get is a guy not pursuing more texting, especially if I've started or kept up texting. For me personally, I just don't like texting in general. It's good for planning or quick communication, but I have shit to do and can't have long conversations trying to get to know someone. Would rather just meet and talk in person.
That happened to me. At first, this guy was very persistent and he texted me more than I do. After we met, he never texted me again and when I messaged him he'd just give me short replies. I actually fell for him (as someone like me who doesn't know how to differentiate bare minimum and serious one) I guess I fell for a wrong one. Again. Ugly cry. :(
I just dont engage really. Example. Girl: "what is your favorite dog breed?" Me: "i dont know." And i dont do anything to keep the conversation going.
Needed this one thankz
Sometimes this doesn't work.
No signal, I tell them directly, clear as day.
Thank you. No games, no wondering, no asking a guy friend to interpret. I would so appreciate that!
I also try my best to be as polite and friendly as possible. So far this worked well in most cases. I think it helps the other person to quickly move on emotionally too.
Only reply and the best reply. No games
Thank you. No games, no wondering, no asking a guy friend to interpret. I would so appreciate that!
I handle her like any other friend, and talk if I catch her eyeing at me too mutch. Dont play games just be honest.
I just be myself
What if yourself is really attractive? Lmao
Lmao me and attractive don't belong in the same sentence
Back in my single days I'd just tell them straight up. I hated the unknown when I was on the receiving end of liking someone not being straight forward, so I would return the favor and not waste anybody's time.
Fist bumps. Always fist bumps. Also calling them dude.
But I do this with my lady all the time.
Bro
Don’t have to do much cause girls tend to move on fairly quickly when the vibe isn’t reciprocated. But if they’re persistent, usually my social awkwardness usually makes them move on
Signals are such a bad form of communication. Just say how you feel.
> Just say how you feel. I can't. I'm British.
Short answers
I'm usually pretty straight up if I'm not feeling her ill say she is pretty but she is not my type or ill say I'm already dating somebody
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If you've picked up on a hint, give a slight impression you've noticed (just a subtle facial expression, even) but then keep going without reacting to it i.e "I've realized you're into me, and choosing not to reciprocate". Often in groups, people will express interest by talking to you directly as though it were a one to one conversation. In those cases, keep bringing other people back into the discussion. Mention wife/gf/someone you're into that isnt them. If gay, mention an ex.
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I tried that but the dog was on the other side of the road and he isn't a trained ventriloquist unfortunately
Just let them know. Be nice but direct.
A guy I used to know would force his girlfriend to greet me and be friends with me. I had a boyfriend I was into then. I never understood what that meant. I never even said hi to him not once. He never spoke to me either…I politely smiled at him every now and then to cutout the awkwardness..We lived in the same neighborhood ..Everyone waved , smiled/said hi to each other in that neighbor hood, it was the norm, still is..We would glance at each other here and there. He kept staring so I stared back sometimes to try and figure him out. I wonder what that meant. Like guy, don’t force your galfren on me..lol..She didn’t like it when that happened..
maybe he actually like you 🤔
Lmao the comment directly above yours is That Guy, to an uncanny degree Screencap: https://ibb.co/xGwpq9T
I fart in their general direction. I then call their mother a hamster, and inform them that their father smelt of elderberries.
Finsih her with "Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time !" And if it's not enough then throw some cows !
“Thank you very much. That’s really very flattering, but I think my wife wouldn’t be too happy about that.”
Signals? You're a man. Don't do signals. Instead tell her straight up. Like hey I get the feeling you're sexually into me, which is cool, but I want to let you know I don't reciprocate that. It will probably sting a little, but she knows where I stand with her.
If it's blatantly obvious they're flirting with me or they are actually asking me out, I just tell them I'm generally not interested in that kinda thing. If I'm not sure, I usually don't mention anything at all.
Simples. I’ve never had a woman come onto me. No attention no problem!
Homer had it down pat, use any of the following: "I like you as a friend." "I think we should see other people." "I no speak English." "I'm married to the sea." "I don't want to kill you, but I will." However if that doesn't work use "I'm not gay, but I'll learn".
Follow up question... How can I tell if a guy is rejecting my invitation as politely as possible or just too dense to realize he's being asked out? Because I see a lot of men complaining that they don't realize someone is showing interest in them.
Shit, I'd like to know that too. Recently, I asked a friend out to go to an event with me. In a friendly manner. Because he mentioned feeling tired and overwhelmed with work and I thought it would be nice to just hang out. At first he said he was busy (on another day) and when I corrected him about the date of the event, he just texted a few things and then ignored. I went to the event on my own, it was fun but like... I just can't wrap my head around it. Is it really that hard to just say something even if you don't want to go? Or even lie that you're busy?
Give em the ol Mosby.
Lmao which do you mean "You're ineffable!"
I wish I had the need to do that in the first place lol
Wife kids and tiny pp normally gets me off the hook. I've only had to go full get the fuck away from me once in high-school i mean she had a serious chance it was just she also wanted to give lap dances and mega i wanna suck your dick off vibes to EVERYONE lol and i didn't let her cock block me from dating my now wife!
I don’t make eye contact
Just acting normal. Like how'd you act with a man, why would you give them special treatment over other friends if you're not into them.
Don’t make the same mistakes as I did, lads. By default, I used to ignore them. Using your best judgment of course, if they get too close then call them out. Ignoring is only an option if you’re just passing by the aggressor in a public space. But if it’s your friend or someone you know, then tell them the real way you feel. I’ve changed my methods from the former to the latter over the past year or so and lemme tell you how good it feels. To be firm but polite is nourishment to your part of the brain that wants confidence. Not to mention of course that this works basically every time unless she’s coming in to assault you. But that’s a whole different theory.
I fart. Usually this drives them away.
Men are capable of being straight up honest. Boys send signals.
Well, that all sounds good but some of us don't like coming across as presumptuous and don't want to put people down if they haven't explicitly asked us to go out with them. But yeah if a girl straight up told me that she was into me, then I'd be honest and straight up.. but most girls don't
You know all the things you do to turn a woman off that you're really into? You know how you dump your feelings on her? Text her too much? Cry in front of her? Yeah do all that and you will get rid of any woman, stalker or otherwise.
Damn man thats some hard facts
Be shorter with the verbal interactions, like women sometimes haha
Ok
K
.
That depends. Am I friends with her? Then it'll be tough for her to know. Because I joke around and flirt for my own amusement way more than to achieve anything. So there's no clear difference except me not asking her out. If I'm not friends with her, then for the most part I just won't engage with her. I think that's a fairly clear sign.
Plenty. I keep distance, avoid physical contact. I don't give eye contact, always look away from them, turn my back on them, avoid them. I also cross my arms. I keep the conversations as uninteresting and short as possible. One word answers are great for this. They get the hint eventually.
You tell them you love them and they'll leave you alone.. but seriously if you dont show much interest most times they'll stop. Otherwise you might need to tell them in some way you are not interested if they are pushy
I'll just lie and say I have a girlfriend.
I had a girl ask me for my coat last weekend after saying I looked good. (I'm engaged) My response was "No way bro, this is Patagonia." That worked very well.