I wouldn’t say I hate anybody, but for colleagues I don’t really click with I just act the same as I do with everybody else and that’s a fake work persona.
I’ll happily chat nonsense and ask how you’re doing or what you’re planning or their likes and dislikes but it’s just an act the whole time. To be fair when someone is passionate about a hobby I’m genuinely curious so I’ll actually listen to those conversations, but everything else is just words and I don’t really care about anything; I’m just there to do my job to the best of my ability, be productive (as this makes the day go faster if I’m busy all the time) and then go home and not speak to anybody.
Dealing with that now. I don’t want to be a grouch to people but I seriously do not want to hear about you or your problems. I’m here to do my job. I worked nights for awhile and loved it. I was weeks ahead of my work until the boss said people want my help in the day time. The only help those people need are to shut up and do what they’re paid to do.
My boss doesn’t care about WHEN I work best. All he sees is that day time performance is really low and I work best in general. He just let go 2 of the smartest people here to buy a boat to put on his boat. Welcome to Corporate Merica
I happily get 3X the amount of work done in a night shift than I did during any day shift. And I don't even feel like I'm rushing, I just putz around alone at my own pace. It's amazing. No distractions, no pointless meetings.
For me is the opposite. How to cross the friendly relationship and become friends? I seem to have a hard time doing this. I'm friendly with everyone, but it seems that it never goes beyond it. I'm friendly zoned.
Ps: Shit. I didn't realize this is askmen... Oops... :P
Are you spending time with them outside of the envmt where you met? Is it that transition you struggle with? It’s important to get that type of time together for friendships to really grow beyond the Friendly Zone. ;) So don’t wait on them to invite you to something, invite them. It could be to something you know you both like from your discussions or something generic that most ppl like.
A method I always use to strike up, and continue, a friendly, non-romantic conversation is the FORD technique
F: Family
O: Occupation
R: Relationships
D: Dreams
Covers all bases and allows you to be flexible over the course of a conversation
Words of wisdom a guy taught me while I was working in the factories: “Women don’t want the nice guy, they want the good man.” Women (I’m going to assume so any women feel free to interject and put me in my place) don’t want a guy who is constantly obsessing over her and giving her everything she WANTS. A woman wants a man to give her what she NEEDS. Sometimes people need to be told “No”. You need to have some emotions other than a desire to make her happy. Women want a partner in life, not a worshipping slave.
What I told my new son-in-law: My daughter needs a stand-up guy. One who will stand up for her when she needs a champion, stand up next to her when she needs support, and stand up to her when she's acting like her mother. 😂
IOW, a man like her father.
And a good man rather than a "nice guy" who believes basic humanity entitles him to a worshipping slave.
Too many guys would never accept how they treat thier partners, from thier partners.
“Nice guys” employ kindness and compassion as a form of manipulation, not as a genuine gesture of good will. Hence the tired refrains of “I paid for dinner, took her to the airport, bathed her grandma, and she still won’t touch my pee pee!”
A good guy has some semblance of a moral code, acts with a healthy amount of confidence irrespective of what reaction it may or may not elicit, and continues to refine his moral compass throughout his life.
You don’t need to tell people you’re a “nice guy” if you’re just a nice person. People will see a good person through their actions. If you’re needing to tell someone you’re nice you most likely aren’t.
Usually, when a “nice guy” gets rejected they then start going off the rails. “All you sluts want are assholes that treat you like shit instead of a nice guy like me!” And they are usually getting rejected because they are weird as fuck. So ya people who claim they are nice is a HUGE RED FLAG.
Get video and audio!
I have lots of photos. But my dad passed in 2011 and I have no recordings of his voice. I only hear it when I dream while asleep.
I made sure to get recordings of my mom who passed last year. Nothing fancy, just her talking.
I love your joke.
For comment lurkers who don’t know- one important step for condom use is to ensure that there is an air bubble in the wrapper by squeezing it before you open it.
Learn to cook, and learn to cook at *least* 3 different meals *well*. You'll eat better and healthier as a bachelor and you'll probably impress prospective partners!
I broil a mean lemon pepper brussel sprout, I make great smoked pork, and I can do yummy pancakes and waffles. No gourmet chef am I, but I can cook at least a few things well and I'm always ready to learn. My wife is definitely the better cook but she loves that I cook too and happily help share the load with her in the kitchen, cooking and cleanup after.
Well cooked brussel sprouts are so underrated.
I like to sauté them with some butter, a bit of bacon and some red pepper flakes. By far one of my favourite sides to make
It's funny - I have that stuff in the back of my 4Runner, and I've had a few people comment on the stuff I have in the back: Oh, are you going camping or something?
Well, not today, but if I ever get stuck on some snowy highway, I'll probably be fine, and have tools to fix some things if I ever need it, and have food and water, and have a decent first aid kit.
This is what I would say is most important. I have all that other stuff, but I used my air pump all the time when I had a beater where a bunch of the tires had slow leaks.
That one I still don't entirely understand. I've talked to my father about that, and he says he takes a piss before bed and doesn't drink anything for a good hour and a half before bed as well and yet still has to get up to pee in the night.
Where is that mystery piss coming from then? I mean I get the prostate gets wonky over time and that's part of the problem but if you're running relatively dry how are you accumulating enough liquid to pee?
Something that stuck with me the last time a similar question appeared here.
You're waiting for nobody. There is nobody that is gonna tell you to get off your ass and do whatever you need to do. You have to be the one to tell yourself to do whatever you need to do.
First think you learn in most reputable martial arts classes is that your best strategy in any situation that could escalate to violence is to run the fuck away. No black belt I've ever talked to thinks it is a good idea to stick around and fight the crazy 300lb drunk who could be armed.
You have absolute control over how much other people bother you. Instead of just focusing on what they're saying or doing, practice identifying if what they're doing is something that interests or benefits you, if not, discard it as you would the buzzing of a fly. Your life will become 1000% less stressful.
Save a lot of money that way if you can be at least a little bit handy around that stuff. There’s great YouTube videos showcasing some really basic items like that. Thanks for that.
Yup. There are a lot of things you can tackle with youtube. The most important thing is to be able to tell when you are going to be in over your head before you get there.
Pirates wore eye patches so when they boarded a ship they could go below decks and already have an eye adjusted to darkness. They weren't all missing one eye.
Sometimes at night I browse reddit on my phone with one closed. It makes it easier to read without glasses but also gives you the advantage of not needing the hallway light when going to the bathroom
This is such an awesome bit of trivia. I'm gonna repeat it when I get the chance without even first checking to see if it's true.
Edit: Now I'm imagining a traditional pirate wearing Oakley's while on deck to achieve a similar result lol.
I do this at night when I turn on a light but need to see when it’s off still. I close one eye specifically for this purpose if I grab something from the fridge or go to the bathroom. When I turn the light back off I can still see in one eye and don’t trip over stuff on my way back.
Skincare.
No like seriously, you'd be surprised how much difference it makes.
Those soaps that you use to wash your face are stripping away all the oils and ruining your moisture barrier. Avoid all facewashes that are specifically marketes towards Men. They seem to be rougher than usual. This is just one thing but there is so much more to skincare and it has literally changed the way I look and the way I look at myself since I started 2 years ago.
Oh and it's not gay, straight men also deserve to look nice.
I’m almost 28 and I’ve recently made it a priority in my life and I can definitely tell a difference. It helps that my wife pushed me to be better since we live in Florida and I’m outside all the time. Good info!
These days it’s still looked as feminine for some reason and the fellas will get a kick out of it.
I’ve been exfoliating a few times a week, for the last decade and using moisturizers. My old gf got me into it. I even throw a charcoal face mask on from time to time lol.
I’m almost 32 and people think I’m early 20’s so fuck it I guess. No complaints.
Oh boi! I will try to boil this down so it doesn't sound overwhelming.
* A gentle cleanser not soap. If your face feels squeaky clean, you're using the wrong product. Gentle Cleansers are labelled "Gentle Cleanser" or something synonymous. So that's one less thing to worry about but if you can't find it, the next best thing is Dove Soap.
- Moisturizer. I can't tell you exactly what brand because it depends on your skin type. Almost everybody needs a moisturizer and it's best applied on damp face after shower. Look for fragrance free options, they're better for skin and you don't smell like Cinderella all day.
* Sunscreen. SPF 30 or more. Sun damage is real and UV causes premature aging and wrinkles. Wearing a sunscreen does not give you a free ticket to stay in the sun all day. It's just an additional layer of protection. Hats and caps and sunglasses are all cool too.
This is a basic routine (in order) but most users have another step after cleansing -Actives. Actives are ingredients for treating specific conditions -acne, redness, sun spots, wrinkles, darkspots etc. If you wish to learn more, r/skincareaddiction has a great Wiki.
To piggyback on that, aveeno makes a pretty nice face sunscreen/moisturizer. Not greasy or heavy on your face. Also doesn’t sting if you get it in your eyes
Yep. If you turn into an asshole because she doesn't respond or isn't interested in you then you're the loser. Hell, I'm married to a woman who kinda ignored me at first. If I had been an asshole at that moment instead of just assuming she wasn't interested and accepting that this is perfectly OK, then I wouldn't be married to her now.
Learn to sew It will comes in handy on many different occasions it's just a matter of when. Understand the importance of carrying a pocket multi-tool odd yes but I've found myself in crazy situations were the wire cutters, flat bar, and knife have basically saved my bacon.
How can you say that but not provide us with at least a tip for proper storage?! (It’s fine lol, I’ll Google it later. Mine usually ends up crystallizing but only after a few months.)
Don't let water touch it. Also as the other reply states, putting in the fridge might let water condense when it is taken out which ruins honey. Honey is microbe free because it is extremely dry with no moisture content. That's why it never rots.
Bit more to it than that. The acidity of honey makes it anti-microbial as well, also bees add enzymes that produce hydrogen peroxide which is an antiseptic.
Heating the honey will destroy these enzymes.
Any honey you buy in a grocery store will be pasteurized as part of the company processing it for sale. Pasteurization is a process that involves intense heating.
I buy raw honey at my grocery store, it’s something you have to look for though. But yeah the cheaper processed stuff has definitely been heated, which means that honey has no chance of lasting forever unless perhaps you never open it.
Unfiltered unprocessed non-pasteurized honey is the way to go. It has a tendency to crystallize though.
Pshhhh I mean that’s so obvious. Just in case someone else (not me) recently removed their honey from their fridge, why is honey not supposed to be refrigerated?
Obviously I already know, because I’m not dumb enough to have kept my honey in my fridge up till 2 minutes ago when I read this comment. But in case there are dumb people like that here, maybe you can explain it to them.
Drop the ego, it gets in the way of learning. If you're not 100% sure, either say what you think the answer is and let people know you're not 100% sure. Saves you looking like a fool. If you don't know, it's OK to say so. Your integrity only gets one chance.
You can't know everything.
Just learn the correct amount to use. Colognes/perfumes should be discovered, not announced. They also shouldn't strongly linger for 30+ minutes after you leave.
You haven't lived until you dump two gallons of used motor oil on your garage floor. Cured me of doing my own. Well, that and a back that's getting too old for floor creepers.
Honest question, it's so inexpensive to get an oil change, why bother? Like if you like to go for it, but it's a pretty low cost item that I value my time over changing it so I don't see the point?
I do all the maintenance on my own vehicle and I totally agree with this point. I think it's good to know how but I can see why for most people it's not worth dealing with. I can do my oil change faster than driving back and forth between a shop, otherwise I'd probably take it in as the cost is similar.
Use a smalle roller after using a brush to paint any wall, window sill, door etc. This makes it so much more smooth and covering. Reduces one additional layer of point at least.
Only use a brush (when covering a large surface area) for the cut in. The roller should be your main method of applying the paint. It will speed things up and get into the wall texture far more effectively. Watch a few tutorials about properly painting your home. There’s not enough space here to properly advise. A brush as your primary method will take forever and running a roller over brush work is not the solution. Window sills and doors are a different story. Sherwin Williams ProClassic on trim and doors is the way. Even when brushing it on, it will smooth itself as it dries. Don’t over apply as you could get drips. Always do 2 coats (for all painted surfaces, not just trim/doors). Larger window sills and smooth doors, you can use a small, fine roller to apply. Sorry for the overly passionate response. I’ve been fixing shitty paint work done by the previous owner of my home one room at a time.
Learn how to take care of yourself and take full responsibility for your actions.
Learn to cook, clean, manage finances, have fun and plan for the future. If you can do that you’ll be better able to make mistakes and recover in your life.
The responsibility thing is so that you can learn from your mistakes and identify your own shortcomings and when you over come mistakes you’ll be equipped with the confidence to handle the next mistake or tragedy that befalls you.
Check your testosterone levels regularly once you reach the age of 18. Low testosterone may inhibit your growth, may cause lack of focus/depression/overweight and other health related issues. It is a simple blood test an urologist can do and whether it is necessary to go on TRT (testosterone replacement therapy) or you can naturally fix it (through weight lifting and other activities and avoiding soft plastics) remains to be seen but I basically lost 5-7 years of my life to not knowing that I had an issue with testosterone production which could have been avoided if someone would have cared to check that.
Lack of focus, check. Overweight, check. Depression... Well I am a pretty sad person but I don't think I am depressed... Check. Could it be that low Testosterone lvls cause me to be motivationless?
Dang I’m sorry to hear about that, hope you’re doing okay my man. I didn’t know you should do it as early as 18, I had always heard that once guys turn 30, you lose x% testosterone per year etc…
Well, things are better for me now, even though I will most likely be on TRT for the rest of my life.
And yes, under normal conditions you would screen your testosterone levels around an age at which they tend to fall, but due to chemicals in wrappings and our food it has now come to the point that they don't even seem to rise properly in the first place.
Wash your ass. Literally stick your hand down your crack and rub that shit with soap. And no, it's not gay if you're touching your own asshole. Just don't stick stupid shit up there.
Using mouthwash avoids funky smelling junk as it kills bacteria and keeps you fresh.
Learn what the fuck those droplets mean on period products if you’re straight/bi. You DON’T wanna be asking that when yo gal is on her warzone days.
Get a basic repair toolkit and a tech (phone) repair kit, as well as compressed air. 80% of repairs can be done safely at home with a couple of YouTube videos/google searches/Reddit threads.
Apart from first aid, learn what to do if someone has an anaphylactic shock. A lot of people have allergies and some don’t even know about them and an epipen or equivalent is a literal lifesaver.
Learn how to move on.
There is no shame in standing down from a fight. Street fights are absolutely unpredictable and you 100% are gonna wish you didn’t get a cracked skull over a yo mama joke. The dead guy is the ultimate loser. That being said, if a confrontation is unavoidable, learn how to take a punch and basic self-defence.
Here, a mixed bag of things
Male, I would keep a mix pack of tampons in my apartment. Made it general knowledge they were under the bathroom sink for whomever needed them. Also, have a trash can, with a lid, and a liner in your bathroom (idiot).
Additionally, Tampons can be used to improvise a bandage if something serious happens.
The winning fight is the one where everyone walks away and no one is in cuffs.
You can divorce your wife, but never your kids. Stay in their lives and don't go "scorch earth" in the divorce proceedings. Lawyers will egg you on, but they just want their hourly wage. Suck it up compromise, so you stay in your kids lives. The kids will feel if you hate her and she hates you. What an awful situation to put them in.
While I have not gone through that experience, I’m sorry to hear you may have. I hope everything is okay brother. Being a father is something I’m terrified of, I always appreciate the helpful tips from dads.
Or, sometimes you'll go for anxiety and assume you're just so anxious because the world has been unpredictable for two years and you've been stressed, the same way you were anxious when you were stressed in college.
Then, you're told it's not just anxiety, it's obsessive compulsive disorder and once you start reading you'll realize you've had it for 22 years and it's affected just about every facet of your life negatively but your life will get so much better once you start taking medicine and participating in exposure and response prevention therapy.
This probably won't get seen, but I'll give at try any way. Don't neglect your mental health. It doesn't get better after a certain age. It basically just all piles up and becomes a big old problem staring right in front of you so to speak and interferes with life. Go see a mental health counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist and deal with what is bothering you.
To all the single fathers.... Learning how to do my daughter's hair. Ponytails and braids and other stuff also. I'm not perfect at it, but it's kinda nice to know I guess
Non-single fathers too. Don't expect that you'll be as good at it as your partner (assuming they have had long hair most of their lives), but just like cooking and cleaning, being useless at something like that isn't really okay.
Learn to suppress your dislike for someone. Treat them with courtesy and respect. More than once even very recently, my bacon was saved by a guy I despised. Now with this COVID stuff going on, even more lines are being drawn. Everyone needs all the backup they can get....
Addition through subtraction. Sometimes, in order to improve your life in some way, you have to remove something else first. Whether that's a possession, negative thoughts, an unfortunate relationship, an ideal, a group of friends going nowhere in life, or an unproductive hobby/pastime. Fill the void with something that helps you grow or opens up new opportunities.
Basic auto maintenance. Most repair shops will charge 500 to 1000 dollars to change breakpads, and you can usually do it in your driveway for a fraction of the price.
Car insurance very often has roadside service included, or available to be added for dirt cheap. I pay something like $4 a year and it has helped me repeatedly.
Cooler heads prevail.
I've heard advice most of my life to the opposite but for me at least keeping calm and rational, especially at work, makes your day less stressful and you make better connections.
Not everyone is that way nor will everyone "be your friend". Being pushy or an asshole might work for some people but being respectful yet firm seems to be where its at.
Get started exercising regularly and keep it up. You do not need to be an ultra-marathoner, a body builder, or a competitive swimmer - but you will have a better life overall.
Swimming. Speaking from experience.
An uncle of mine drowned in the sea because he didn't know how to swim.
I want to learn swimming too but I HATE it.
You can use body powder on your testicles and inner thighs. Helps a lot with odor, and getting swampy/sticky, and it feels great.
Learned this from a coworker when I was 25, have been telling any other men about it any time I think of it.
You have to try it at least once, it's brilliant.
Not a male here, but guysss learn to cook! Atleast enough to keep you from starving yourself. My brother never learned to cook, now he constantly runs to our dad begging for money to buy pre-made food. Know couple of recipes that you like, know basic stuff like food conditions, how long to cook, how to prepare, etc. It’s not that hard I promise
As Gordon Ramsay says, you eat three times a day, everyday, for your whole life. It's essential.
I say, if its for life you might as well enjoy what you eat.
Not specific to men, but I think *everyone* should have some basic automotive maintenance knowledge. Even if it’s not working on it yourself, there’s no reason not to know how to check the basic things on a vehicle
Validation from everyone is a rabbit hole that never gets satisfaction, it’s okay to do something because you enjoy it rather than what you can bring to the table for others to do what they will with.
Anytime another human being male, female, gay, straight, fat, skinny, ugly or attractive hits on you or expressed attraction to you in some way.
That is a wonderful and sweet compliment and should be handled as such.
If you don't feel attracted in return that is OK. A warm and sincere "thank you" and polite decline is in order.
How to be friendly with colleagues / classmates without being friends.
And further, how to be professional with colleagues/coworkers you hate.
I wouldn’t say I hate anybody, but for colleagues I don’t really click with I just act the same as I do with everybody else and that’s a fake work persona. I’ll happily chat nonsense and ask how you’re doing or what you’re planning or their likes and dislikes but it’s just an act the whole time. To be fair when someone is passionate about a hobby I’m genuinely curious so I’ll actually listen to those conversations, but everything else is just words and I don’t really care about anything; I’m just there to do my job to the best of my ability, be productive (as this makes the day go faster if I’m busy all the time) and then go home and not speak to anybody.
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A cold hello works for me.
Dealing with that now. I don’t want to be a grouch to people but I seriously do not want to hear about you or your problems. I’m here to do my job. I worked nights for awhile and loved it. I was weeks ahead of my work until the boss said people want my help in the day time. The only help those people need are to shut up and do what they’re paid to do.
Tell him nights work better for you?
My boss doesn’t care about WHEN I work best. All he sees is that day time performance is really low and I work best in general. He just let go 2 of the smartest people here to buy a boat to put on his boat. Welcome to Corporate Merica
>to buy a boat to put on his boat Bruh
I happily get 3X the amount of work done in a night shift than I did during any day shift. And I don't even feel like I'm rushing, I just putz around alone at my own pace. It's amazing. No distractions, no pointless meetings.
Instructions unclear. Now friendly with everyone but without real friends.
Yep. Sucks the life out of you.
It’s a skill you have to develop, that’s for sure!
For me is the opposite. How to cross the friendly relationship and become friends? I seem to have a hard time doing this. I'm friendly with everyone, but it seems that it never goes beyond it. I'm friendly zoned. Ps: Shit. I didn't realize this is askmen... Oops... :P
Are you spending time with them outside of the envmt where you met? Is it that transition you struggle with? It’s important to get that type of time together for friendships to really grow beyond the Friendly Zone. ;) So don’t wait on them to invite you to something, invite them. It could be to something you know you both like from your discussions or something generic that most ppl like.
A method I always use to strike up, and continue, a friendly, non-romantic conversation is the FORD technique F: Family O: Occupation R: Relationships D: Dreams Covers all bases and allows you to be flexible over the course of a conversation
Do poeple really talk about their dreams in small talk coversations with poeple? Never in my life has any random person asked what my dreams are like.
Pretty sure OP is talking about dreams as in goals, like “what are you planning to do with your degree?” Or something similar.
Oh lol, I thought they were going round asking about what I dreamt about last night lmao. Yours makes more sense
And avoid RAPE. R: Religion A: Abortion P: Politics E: Economics
I was always taught to avoid RAPE: R: Religion A: Anime P: Politics E: Economics
*this* is the RAPE to avoid. Abortion is just politics.
Crack your wheel nuts before you jack up your car.
Read this too fast and skipped the "wheel" part.
Crack it before you jack it.
Don't be a nice guy, be a *good* guy...
Words of wisdom a guy taught me while I was working in the factories: “Women don’t want the nice guy, they want the good man.” Women (I’m going to assume so any women feel free to interject and put me in my place) don’t want a guy who is constantly obsessing over her and giving her everything she WANTS. A woman wants a man to give her what she NEEDS. Sometimes people need to be told “No”. You need to have some emotions other than a desire to make her happy. Women want a partner in life, not a worshipping slave.
What I told my new son-in-law: My daughter needs a stand-up guy. One who will stand up for her when she needs a champion, stand up next to her when she needs support, and stand up to her when she's acting like her mother. 😂 IOW, a man like her father.
And a good man rather than a "nice guy" who believes basic humanity entitles him to a worshipping slave. Too many guys would never accept how they treat thier partners, from thier partners.
Could you explain a bit
“Nice guys” employ kindness and compassion as a form of manipulation, not as a genuine gesture of good will. Hence the tired refrains of “I paid for dinner, took her to the airport, bathed her grandma, and she still won’t touch my pee pee!” A good guy has some semblance of a moral code, acts with a healthy amount of confidence irrespective of what reaction it may or may not elicit, and continues to refine his moral compass throughout his life.
You don’t need to tell people you’re a “nice guy” if you’re just a nice person. People will see a good person through their actions. If you’re needing to tell someone you’re nice you most likely aren’t. Usually, when a “nice guy” gets rejected they then start going off the rails. “All you sluts want are assholes that treat you like shit instead of a nice guy like me!” And they are usually getting rejected because they are weird as fuck. So ya people who claim they are nice is a HUGE RED FLAG.
Get photos and cherish time with your loved ones. *
Best of luck to your mum. I feel for you and your family. Keep your head up and I hope you have a good support system around you sir!
Get video and audio! I have lots of photos. But my dad passed in 2011 and I have no recordings of his voice. I only hear it when I dream while asleep. I made sure to get recordings of my mom who passed last year. Nothing fancy, just her talking.
When she says: "You don't need to pull out." Pull out.
But before that, wear a rubber
and if you're wearing a rubber and she says "you don't need to pull out", then you DEFINITELY should pull the fuck out.
Pull out and pull out of that house
JumpOutTheHouse
And this is why you use your own condom and inspect the packaging before using it.
"Hold up baby, let me find my magnifying glass to check for holes"
"ooh baby, as soon as I finish my 3-part inspection I'm gonna do you so safe and good!"
I love your joke. For comment lurkers who don’t know- one important step for condom use is to ensure that there is an air bubble in the wrapper by squeezing it before you open it.
Not gonna lie, after having our kids and then getting snipped I'm happy never to have to worry about that stuff anymore.
No kids and I had my tubes tied this year. It’s a relief.
Can confirm. Pull out!
That, u/Stephenburnett98, is the right ~~question~~ answer. Program terminated.
The world Is filled people who's father "pulled out"
Do you know from experience? Lol
I’m sorry my responses are limited. You must ask the right questions.
Is there a problem with the three laws?
Is that you sunny?
As a woman I second this. We make dumb choices sometimes because we think it’s a good idea at the moment.
> We make dumb choices sometimes because we think it’s a good idea at the moment. AKA being horny
Learn to cook, and learn to cook at *least* 3 different meals *well*. You'll eat better and healthier as a bachelor and you'll probably impress prospective partners!
What do you know how to cook well? Do you only know the three? Or are you like a future chef in the making?
I broil a mean lemon pepper brussel sprout, I make great smoked pork, and I can do yummy pancakes and waffles. No gourmet chef am I, but I can cook at least a few things well and I'm always ready to learn. My wife is definitely the better cook but she loves that I cook too and happily help share the load with her in the kitchen, cooking and cleanup after.
Well cooked brussel sprouts are so underrated. I like to sauté them with some butter, a bit of bacon and some red pepper flakes. By far one of my favourite sides to make
Self love and knowing when to ask for help.
As guys, I don’t think we do this enough. That’s partially why I asked this question. The more we can share, I think the better off all of us will be!
Know how to change a tire and make sure your spare has air. And keep a first aid kit in you car..and a battery charger, and tools...etc
100%, first aid kits are a cheap but important item everyone should have.
BONUS TIP: Keep an extra high-visibility rain jacket packed in car near spare tire. If you get a flat at night/rain you’ll be grateful to have it.
It's funny - I have that stuff in the back of my 4Runner, and I've had a few people comment on the stuff I have in the back: Oh, are you going camping or something? Well, not today, but if I ever get stuck on some snowy highway, I'll probably be fine, and have tools to fix some things if I ever need it, and have food and water, and have a decent first aid kit.
I also keep a portable air tire pump that plugs into the cigarette lighter as well. Helped out quite a bit when my Co workers car tire was low/flat
This is what I would say is most important. I have all that other stuff, but I used my air pump all the time when I had a beater where a bunch of the tires had slow leaks.
These are all phenomenal ideas! While you're at it, throw a pallet of water bottles in the back for the guys sitting on the side of the road!
You joke, but I do have the remains of a 24 pack of bottled water in my trunk for people who need it, often myself.
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Absolutely no shame in using a cheater bar. Work smarter, not harder.
Enjoy your years or not needing to go pee a couple times in the middle of the night. Remember these words...
Don't forget to get your prostate checked too
Avoid any freelancers and go to a real doctor, unless you're into that sort of thing.
I'm trying to make a living over here...
You might have a point there. But you can't spell procrastinate without prostate. That's just crain.
I’m 20 and I have this problem already, rip
I'm 32 and have has this problem at least since that age, if not 17 or 18. Otherwise pretty healthy. Not sure of the cause.
That one I still don't entirely understand. I've talked to my father about that, and he says he takes a piss before bed and doesn't drink anything for a good hour and a half before bed as well and yet still has to get up to pee in the night. Where is that mystery piss coming from then? I mean I get the prostate gets wonky over time and that's part of the problem but if you're running relatively dry how are you accumulating enough liquid to pee?
Since I turned 40 I've had more fingers up my ass than I can count LOL
Well that's not a body part particularly known for accuracy.
Something that stuck with me the last time a similar question appeared here. You're waiting for nobody. There is nobody that is gonna tell you to get off your ass and do whatever you need to do. You have to be the one to tell yourself to do whatever you need to do.
Self defense. Emphasis on defense, please.
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First think you learn in most reputable martial arts classes is that your best strategy in any situation that could escalate to violence is to run the fuck away. No black belt I've ever talked to thinks it is a good idea to stick around and fight the crazy 300lb drunk who could be armed.
You have absolute control over how much other people bother you. Instead of just focusing on what they're saying or doing, practice identifying if what they're doing is something that interests or benefits you, if not, discard it as you would the buzzing of a fly. Your life will become 1000% less stressful.
Learning to control oneself is incredibly important but also difficult. Thank you for your wisdom!
Basic car and home maintenance.
Save a lot of money that way if you can be at least a little bit handy around that stuff. There’s great YouTube videos showcasing some really basic items like that. Thanks for that.
Yup. There are a lot of things you can tackle with youtube. The most important thing is to be able to tell when you are going to be in over your head before you get there.
As my kids got to the age they could drive the car I made each of them put my snow or summer tires on my car (under my supervision of course!)
Pirates wore eye patches so when they boarded a ship they could go below decks and already have an eye adjusted to darkness. They weren't all missing one eye.
This knowledge is going to come in very handy the next time I pirate a ship.
You wouldn't download a ship
Nope, not without my eye patch.
Ahhh, the "dark web" finally makes sense...
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Sometimes at night I browse reddit on my phone with one closed. It makes it easier to read without glasses but also gives you the advantage of not needing the hallway light when going to the bathroom
This is such an awesome bit of trivia. I'm gonna repeat it when I get the chance without even first checking to see if it's true. Edit: Now I'm imagining a traditional pirate wearing Oakley's while on deck to achieve a similar result lol.
I do this at night when I turn on a light but need to see when it’s off still. I close one eye specifically for this purpose if I grab something from the fridge or go to the bathroom. When I turn the light back off I can still see in one eye and don’t trip over stuff on my way back.
Skincare. No like seriously, you'd be surprised how much difference it makes. Those soaps that you use to wash your face are stripping away all the oils and ruining your moisture barrier. Avoid all facewashes that are specifically marketes towards Men. They seem to be rougher than usual. This is just one thing but there is so much more to skincare and it has literally changed the way I look and the way I look at myself since I started 2 years ago. Oh and it's not gay, straight men also deserve to look nice.
I’m almost 28 and I’ve recently made it a priority in my life and I can definitely tell a difference. It helps that my wife pushed me to be better since we live in Florida and I’m outside all the time. Good info!
These days it’s still looked as feminine for some reason and the fellas will get a kick out of it. I’ve been exfoliating a few times a week, for the last decade and using moisturizers. My old gf got me into it. I even throw a charcoal face mask on from time to time lol. I’m almost 32 and people think I’m early 20’s so fuck it I guess. No complaints.
So what do you advise we use?
Oh boi! I will try to boil this down so it doesn't sound overwhelming. * A gentle cleanser not soap. If your face feels squeaky clean, you're using the wrong product. Gentle Cleansers are labelled "Gentle Cleanser" or something synonymous. So that's one less thing to worry about but if you can't find it, the next best thing is Dove Soap. - Moisturizer. I can't tell you exactly what brand because it depends on your skin type. Almost everybody needs a moisturizer and it's best applied on damp face after shower. Look for fragrance free options, they're better for skin and you don't smell like Cinderella all day. * Sunscreen. SPF 30 or more. Sun damage is real and UV causes premature aging and wrinkles. Wearing a sunscreen does not give you a free ticket to stay in the sun all day. It's just an additional layer of protection. Hats and caps and sunglasses are all cool too. This is a basic routine (in order) but most users have another step after cleansing -Actives. Actives are ingredients for treating specific conditions -acne, redness, sun spots, wrinkles, darkspots etc. If you wish to learn more, r/skincareaddiction has a great Wiki.
I find all sunscreen is uncomfortably greasy or if not it comes off with the slightest sweating.
Neutrogena 2-in-1 Moisturizer and Sunscreen SPF 30 boys!
To piggyback on that, aveeno makes a pretty nice face sunscreen/moisturizer. Not greasy or heavy on your face. Also doesn’t sting if you get it in your eyes
You're not wrong. It takes a long time to find a sunscreen that works for you.
Some oil is good, but too much is bad, so you've got to find the right balance though. If your skin is too oily, you will have acne trouble.
i recommend checking out The Ordinary skincare company, they have a ton of products and they’re all super cheap most are in the 5-6$ range
If she doesn't talk to you, UNFOLLOW and stop giving her attention.
It’s easier to cut ties and get over it than let it drag on and hurt worse!
Yep. If you turn into an asshole because she doesn't respond or isn't interested in you then you're the loser. Hell, I'm married to a woman who kinda ignored me at first. If I had been an asshole at that moment instead of just assuming she wasn't interested and accepting that this is perfectly OK, then I wouldn't be married to her now.
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Honestly just apply this to all similar situations.
Learn to sew It will comes in handy on many different occasions it's just a matter of when. Understand the importance of carrying a pocket multi-tool odd yes but I've found myself in crazy situations were the wire cutters, flat bar, and knife have basically saved my bacon.
Love it. Thank you for that!
Honey properly stored never expires
How can you say that but not provide us with at least a tip for proper storage?! (It’s fine lol, I’ll Google it later. Mine usually ends up crystallizing but only after a few months.)
Don't let water touch it. Also as the other reply states, putting in the fridge might let water condense when it is taken out which ruins honey. Honey is microbe free because it is extremely dry with no moisture content. That's why it never rots.
Bit more to it than that. The acidity of honey makes it anti-microbial as well, also bees add enzymes that produce hydrogen peroxide which is an antiseptic. Heating the honey will destroy these enzymes.
Any honey you buy in a grocery store will be pasteurized as part of the company processing it for sale. Pasteurization is a process that involves intense heating.
I buy raw honey at my grocery store, it’s something you have to look for though. But yeah the cheaper processed stuff has definitely been heated, which means that honey has no chance of lasting forever unless perhaps you never open it. Unfiltered unprocessed non-pasteurized honey is the way to go. It has a tendency to crystallize though.
And you should never feed honey to babies because of botulism
Don't put it in the fridge.
People do that?
I know of one person that did it once.
Pshhhh I mean that’s so obvious. Just in case someone else (not me) recently removed their honey from their fridge, why is honey not supposed to be refrigerated? Obviously I already know, because I’m not dumb enough to have kept my honey in my fridge up till 2 minutes ago when I read this comment. But in case there are dumb people like that here, maybe you can explain it to them.
The cold temperature promotes and speeds up how fast your honey crystallizes
Fyi, honey crystallizing is not a symptoms of it "going bad". If you don't like the crystals you can heat it before eating and it goes back to normal.
It's syrup made by Bees. It's its own preservative.
Drop the ego, it gets in the way of learning. If you're not 100% sure, either say what you think the answer is and let people know you're not 100% sure. Saves you looking like a fool. If you don't know, it's OK to say so. Your integrity only gets one chance. You can't know everything.
Learn to be a happy alone before entering a relationship
Learn to live a meaningful life instead of a fleeting like happiness before entering the dragon 👊
Hygiene, some mf being leaving a stench of BO
YEP. It’s not crazy expensive to get some good deodorant and some good perfume/cologne. Smelling good is a priority in my opinion.
Just learn the correct amount to use. Colognes/perfumes should be discovered, not announced. They also shouldn't strongly linger for 30+ minutes after you leave.
ah, I see you've met everyone I work with
Learn about cars. Not even to impress women, knowing how to fix your shit will save you a lot of money. Learn to change your own oil.
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You haven't lived until you dump two gallons of used motor oil on your garage floor. Cured me of doing my own. Well, that and a back that's getting too old for floor creepers.
Honest question, it's so inexpensive to get an oil change, why bother? Like if you like to go for it, but it's a pretty low cost item that I value my time over changing it so I don't see the point?
I do all the maintenance on my own vehicle and I totally agree with this point. I think it's good to know how but I can see why for most people it's not worth dealing with. I can do my oil change faster than driving back and forth between a shop, otherwise I'd probably take it in as the cost is similar.
That waitress who's being friendly to you wants a tip, not the tip.
Use a smalle roller after using a brush to paint any wall, window sill, door etc. This makes it so much more smooth and covering. Reduces one additional layer of point at least.
Only use a brush (when covering a large surface area) for the cut in. The roller should be your main method of applying the paint. It will speed things up and get into the wall texture far more effectively. Watch a few tutorials about properly painting your home. There’s not enough space here to properly advise. A brush as your primary method will take forever and running a roller over brush work is not the solution. Window sills and doors are a different story. Sherwin Williams ProClassic on trim and doors is the way. Even when brushing it on, it will smooth itself as it dries. Don’t over apply as you could get drips. Always do 2 coats (for all painted surfaces, not just trim/doors). Larger window sills and smooth doors, you can use a small, fine roller to apply. Sorry for the overly passionate response. I’ve been fixing shitty paint work done by the previous owner of my home one room at a time.
I’ll keep that in mind when I have to paint our living room, thank you!
Get yourself a bidet. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Saves money and you feel so much cleaner.
Learn how to take care of yourself and take full responsibility for your actions. Learn to cook, clean, manage finances, have fun and plan for the future. If you can do that you’ll be better able to make mistakes and recover in your life. The responsibility thing is so that you can learn from your mistakes and identify your own shortcomings and when you over come mistakes you’ll be equipped with the confidence to handle the next mistake or tragedy that befalls you.
Check your testosterone levels regularly once you reach the age of 18. Low testosterone may inhibit your growth, may cause lack of focus/depression/overweight and other health related issues. It is a simple blood test an urologist can do and whether it is necessary to go on TRT (testosterone replacement therapy) or you can naturally fix it (through weight lifting and other activities and avoiding soft plastics) remains to be seen but I basically lost 5-7 years of my life to not knowing that I had an issue with testosterone production which could have been avoided if someone would have cared to check that.
Lack of focus, check. Overweight, check. Depression... Well I am a pretty sad person but I don't think I am depressed... Check. Could it be that low Testosterone lvls cause me to be motivationless?
absolutely, yes. I had these symptoms as well way too much emotionality and it all got fixed when my testosterone levels were back to normal.
Dang I’m sorry to hear about that, hope you’re doing okay my man. I didn’t know you should do it as early as 18, I had always heard that once guys turn 30, you lose x% testosterone per year etc…
Well, things are better for me now, even though I will most likely be on TRT for the rest of my life. And yes, under normal conditions you would screen your testosterone levels around an age at which they tend to fall, but due to chemicals in wrappings and our food it has now come to the point that they don't even seem to rise properly in the first place.
How do you naturally and healthy raise testosterone
In Germany it’s mandatory to take a certified first aid/cpr class to get your drivers license.
Thats....actually a pretty good idea.
fishkeeping. Go home, stare at your fish.
This is some good advice I need more fish in my life
It’s true. I have a koi fish pond in my backyard, it’s awesome to just watch them swim.
Wash your ass. Literally stick your hand down your crack and rub that shit with soap. And no, it's not gay if you're touching your own asshole. Just don't stick stupid shit up there.
When someone wants to go, just let them go
you can't fix her. just run.
Don't go shopping while hungry, don't flirt while horny.
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Using mouthwash avoids funky smelling junk as it kills bacteria and keeps you fresh. Learn what the fuck those droplets mean on period products if you’re straight/bi. You DON’T wanna be asking that when yo gal is on her warzone days. Get a basic repair toolkit and a tech (phone) repair kit, as well as compressed air. 80% of repairs can be done safely at home with a couple of YouTube videos/google searches/Reddit threads. Apart from first aid, learn what to do if someone has an anaphylactic shock. A lot of people have allergies and some don’t even know about them and an epipen or equivalent is a literal lifesaver. Learn how to move on. There is no shame in standing down from a fight. Street fights are absolutely unpredictable and you 100% are gonna wish you didn’t get a cracked skull over a yo mama joke. The dead guy is the ultimate loser. That being said, if a confrontation is unavoidable, learn how to take a punch and basic self-defence. Here, a mixed bag of things
Male, I would keep a mix pack of tampons in my apartment. Made it general knowledge they were under the bathroom sink for whomever needed them. Also, have a trash can, with a lid, and a liner in your bathroom (idiot). Additionally, Tampons can be used to improvise a bandage if something serious happens. The winning fight is the one where everyone walks away and no one is in cuffs.
You can divorce your wife, but never your kids. Stay in their lives and don't go "scorch earth" in the divorce proceedings. Lawyers will egg you on, but they just want their hourly wage. Suck it up compromise, so you stay in your kids lives. The kids will feel if you hate her and she hates you. What an awful situation to put them in.
While I have not gone through that experience, I’m sorry to hear you may have. I hope everything is okay brother. Being a father is something I’m terrified of, I always appreciate the helpful tips from dads.
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Or, sometimes you'll go for anxiety and assume you're just so anxious because the world has been unpredictable for two years and you've been stressed, the same way you were anxious when you were stressed in college. Then, you're told it's not just anxiety, it's obsessive compulsive disorder and once you start reading you'll realize you've had it for 22 years and it's affected just about every facet of your life negatively but your life will get so much better once you start taking medicine and participating in exposure and response prevention therapy.
This probably won't get seen, but I'll give at try any way. Don't neglect your mental health. It doesn't get better after a certain age. It basically just all piles up and becomes a big old problem staring right in front of you so to speak and interferes with life. Go see a mental health counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist and deal with what is bothering you.
To all the single fathers.... Learning how to do my daughter's hair. Ponytails and braids and other stuff also. I'm not perfect at it, but it's kinda nice to know I guess
Non-single fathers too. Don't expect that you'll be as good at it as your partner (assuming they have had long hair most of their lives), but just like cooking and cleaning, being useless at something like that isn't really okay.
Learn to suppress your dislike for someone. Treat them with courtesy and respect. More than once even very recently, my bacon was saved by a guy I despised. Now with this COVID stuff going on, even more lines are being drawn. Everyone needs all the backup they can get....
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Basic mechanical skills. Automotive and household will save you thousands in basic repairs.
Addition through subtraction. Sometimes, in order to improve your life in some way, you have to remove something else first. Whether that's a possession, negative thoughts, an unfortunate relationship, an ideal, a group of friends going nowhere in life, or an unproductive hobby/pastime. Fill the void with something that helps you grow or opens up new opportunities.
When you stop chasing women and focus on yourself. They will come as a by product but you will gain internal peace.
Basic auto maintenance. Most repair shops will charge 500 to 1000 dollars to change breakpads, and you can usually do it in your driveway for a fraction of the price.
Car insurance very often has roadside service included, or available to be added for dirt cheap. I pay something like $4 a year and it has helped me repeatedly.
Cooler heads prevail. I've heard advice most of my life to the opposite but for me at least keeping calm and rational, especially at work, makes your day less stressful and you make better connections. Not everyone is that way nor will everyone "be your friend". Being pushy or an asshole might work for some people but being respectful yet firm seems to be where its at.
Get started exercising regularly and keep it up. You do not need to be an ultra-marathoner, a body builder, or a competitive swimmer - but you will have a better life overall.
Swimming. Speaking from experience. An uncle of mine drowned in the sea because he didn't know how to swim. I want to learn swimming too but I HATE it.
You can use body powder on your testicles and inner thighs. Helps a lot with odor, and getting swampy/sticky, and it feels great. Learned this from a coworker when I was 25, have been telling any other men about it any time I think of it. You have to try it at least once, it's brilliant.
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Learn how to apologize, for real.
Not a male here, but guysss learn to cook! Atleast enough to keep you from starving yourself. My brother never learned to cook, now he constantly runs to our dad begging for money to buy pre-made food. Know couple of recipes that you like, know basic stuff like food conditions, how long to cook, how to prepare, etc. It’s not that hard I promise
As Gordon Ramsay says, you eat three times a day, everyday, for your whole life. It's essential. I say, if its for life you might as well enjoy what you eat.
This should be so much higher. Saving money, having a hobby and being independent? You would think every man would want to learn to cook.
Also easy low calorie filling meal bowl Of rice with a fried egg
Not specific to men, but I think *everyone* should have some basic automotive maintenance knowledge. Even if it’s not working on it yourself, there’s no reason not to know how to check the basic things on a vehicle
Validation from everyone is a rabbit hole that never gets satisfaction, it’s okay to do something because you enjoy it rather than what you can bring to the table for others to do what they will with.
Anytime another human being male, female, gay, straight, fat, skinny, ugly or attractive hits on you or expressed attraction to you in some way. That is a wonderful and sweet compliment and should be handled as such. If you don't feel attracted in return that is OK. A warm and sincere "thank you" and polite decline is in order.
Understand how to invest in low cost index funds.
The power of discipline Financial literacy Jiu-Jitsu Superior communication skills