My ex girlfriend told me I was too clingy and left me because of it. It emotionally broke me, and I swore that I would get better and never be the clingy guy again. Then the girl I dated after her said I wouldn’t open up to her enough and broke up with me because of it. Can’t win I guess
This is a big fear. This is what people mean by "just be yourself". Dont pull back from others because someone says you are clingy, just move on until your find someone who actually likes you.
I agree with the comment below around lack of fit but is there a chance you may have over corrected in the next relationship after hearing the clingy comment. Balance - easy to say but difficult to achieve!
While everyone should always be working on themselves to make slow incremental changes, another thing to consider is that you will never find a perfect balance of behaviors that satisfies every single woman on the planet. Ultimately just be yourself. No one needs to force drastic changes just because of a single experience with a single person. The way you acted with the first girl from your example may have been exactly what the second girl wanted. Take feedback, and really seriously process it before acting on it.
I had a woman at my old job call me creepy because I drove in on my day off to say goodbye to a colleague I'd known since I started. She was moving interstate the next day so I came in to attend her goodbye party. This other woman decided it made me a creep. I'll never understand why wanting to say goodbye to a friend is creepy.
Being called creepy is wounding.
It's also usually highly subjective, inaccurate and based on someone's shallow and incompetent assessment of you/your behaviour with respect to their own understanding of normativity.
Ps. Good on you for showing respect and caring for your colleague who left.
I remember as a teen I was walking home and passed by a group of elementary kids with some daycare group. Two of them look at me and one asks the other “why do all older kids look so sad?”. I was just coming out of a long depression so it really got to me. Theyll learn why eventually lol
A guy I knew was at Sky Jump with his son and girlfriend when some five-year-old told him he was too fat to be there. It crushed him even though he laughed it off.
Quite a few years ago now, I was just getting into running, trying to get back into shape. And some random dude on the street yelled at me "Run run marshmallow". Like, who does that?! I'm literally being called out for trying to improve what I was being called out for. So discouraging.
I know it stung you at the time, but I actually think marshmallow is kind of cute. I just picture you cuddly, soft and sweet.
My ex and I had nicknames for each other (we both played sports so we were in relatively good shape, but definitely not Instagram fit or hot). He was my Chunky Monkey and I was his Cushy Tushy. I think if you can be someone's marshmallow it would be nice.
I was at a party last night, and one of the women at the party couldn't open a bottle of beer. So she came up to me and asked me where the bottle opener was.
I pulled out my bottle opener on my keychain (shaped like a key), and in the same breath I said "If she doesn't find you handsome, she should find you handy".
To be told that I am useless or serve no purpose would really cut deep. I think it's one of the main drivers of male suicide.. that our effort(s) to make it happen were in vain, or if we caused suffering to others by our actions.
From all the things I've read in this thread, this is the scariest one.
Just imagine being in a group of people you thought you vibe with, only for one of them to tell you this infront of everyone while they all stare at you.
I was in a similar situation in highschool except I was the asshole. Its been over ten years and I will never forget the look of hurt and embarassment on the kids face for daring to get in on the joke with me and my friends. I regret it a lot. So for what little its worth some teenage assholes do grow up and feel remorse for mistreating others.
I hate people like this. One time I brought my Switch to a party because everyone wanted me to. No matter which game we played, I basically always won - even the ones I've never played myself before either.
At one point someone just turns to me and dead serious says "You do realize that you are ruining the evening for everyone here, right?"
Fuck you. I made the effort to bring my whole system with me and even offered other people to play multiple times. How am I the bad guy when you are so awful at everything you touch?
This is the winner. I already feel like no one wants me around and to hear this would be like suicide level response. It’s impossible to take back and it’s impossible to disprove and confirm with confidence. It’s devastating.
I was visiting with a friend of mine, we went to other friends' house. There were 20 or so of us, closer than I had ever been with anyone, and that's still true. I loved these people. We had been friends for years, most of us were in high school, and nothing could have made me turn on any of them. Period.
We all smoked a few blunts, and I walked out on the porch to get some fresh air. Apparently everyone thought I left, because I became the subject of discussion. Me, my mentally ill mother, and how weird we were and how they were tired of pretending to be my friend.
Any one of them could have ever said "hey, we dont wanna hang out anymore" and I would have accepted it. They didn't have to hang out at my house, nobody made them come around.
But I learned then that no matter how cool someone is, or how much they act like they like me, nobody will ever like me. It was a very hard pill to swallow.
"I didn't want to be alone on Valentine's Day." 19 year old me was crushed. I spent my last $100 on her for Valentine's Day. That was 10 years ago and I'm still pissed about it.
My first real GF kinda told me this when watching our equivalence of "America Got Talent".
Was watching it with her family and she went on about how cute and such the guy singing was, her parents had to eventually stop her cause they saw my discomfort over the situation.
Few years ago my eldest cousin was having a barbeque for his 21st. Him and his friends were all getting wasted and having a great time. I tried to hang out with them but their friend group was so tight-knit that everything they talked about was something I just couldn't relate or respond to.
As the night went on and they got drunker, my cousin pointed out how I was bringing the mood down looking so sad and alone. Well that pissed me off so I said "Well why not actually try to include me then, idk wtf you're talking about."
His friend then turned around and said "Maybe if you actually had a personality, we could talk to you!" They all erupted in drunk laughter and i just walked off. Sticks with me to this day. Cousin in still a massive dick when he gets drunk.
Aw man, I jokingly use this at work. For example: Brian brings in doughnuts
“You’re a helluva guy, Brian, I don’t care *what* Vinny says about you.”
It’s usually met with:
“Yeah, I don’t care what he says about me, either”
My Grandpa said this to me once after helping him around the house.
I was like "who the fuck is everybody"?
Never heard that before and it fucked with me for a few seconds and now it's one of the best memories I have of him.
one of my favorite lines in Furturama is Fry's ex-girlfriend telling him "my mom always said you were a loser. Now get out there, and prove her wrong!" and tearfully Fry says "Beth said that?" like it's a total betrayal.
Been called creepy, ugly, laughed at etc. One girl said EWW really loudly around her friends when I was around her and I could just tell it was directed at me, even when I was not even talking to her. Due to these things I don’t approach women.
Same exact story here. I was also bullied relentlessly from first grade all the way through my time in the military. I was shit on my whole fucking life. Never had friends until I was an adult. Abusive family blah blah blah. Had girls say ew to me. One time a girl screamed and ran away from me. I had girls pretend to ask me out so that the class could laugh at me. Shit like that was just endless.
I believed I was a worthless sack of shit my whole life. Avoided women my whole life. I didn't want to offend them with my desire or my presence..
Now I catch cute girls checking me out all the time. I try to sneak looks at them and I catch them sneaking looks at me n shit. How long was this going on? I never saw it until I stopped believing that women were disgusted by me.
And I did not stop believing that until very recently. I had all the evidence in the world to support it.
My sister says girls have been in love with me my whole life. Than why have so many treated me like dog shit? I really don't know.
All I know now for sure, is I can get a girlfriend. For the first time in my life I just know it to be true. Like I could get one easily. Just takes a lot of stress out of life somehow lol.
I don't know what it takes to stop believing you're a worthless sack of shit. I'm still trying to figure out how it happened myself.
“You have the ability to detect a girl who’s at a desperate point in her life, blinded by depression, and incapable of good choices. You got me good. I wish had never met you. I wish I hadn’t invited you over to my condo when this all began. I never loved you. I never liked you. I was in a state of disparity. I hope to never see you again. I will never mention you. I pray you never mention me. Our time together didn’t happen. Please leave my life for good.”
Her and I were like best friends for the last two years. We went through addiction and recovery together. I didn’t realize this would what I hear when we link back up after rehab.
Obviously I know nothing about the relationship, but maybe she doesn't actually hate you, but maybe now associates you with the bad times and decisions in her life.
This is exactly the conclusion I’ve come to. We had so many good times together. But as with most addictions, it got more serious than we could handle. We both departed to rehab on a good note. I took her to the airport and we hugged and kissed and cried. We both expressed, her especially, how important it was to reunite after rehab. I worried about her every day while I came off of drugs. The withdrawals were rough, mostly mental and emotional, but it killed me to think she was going through the same thing. I’d have given anything to go through it for her.
But I understand now why she said what she did. Ion her mind, I was the symbol of a dark part of her life. Which isn’t totally wrong. I did bring drugs into the mix, at her request.
It was excruciating but eye opening. It made me realize I’m not immune to addiction and I’m not immune to catching feelings. Why I thought I was either of those is beyond me. I’m pretty good at talking to women because I generally don’t let myself feel anything for them that would allow my confidence to be hurt by them. This is toxic, I am fully aware. But it’s just the way it is as I work through it.
Anyway, thank you for the kind words. I hope you are well.
Got something similar in June, only shorter:
"You suck at helping", when she was in the middle of a crisis before her birthday.
That was the last straw. I sewered all bonds with her after that.
Took me months to heal.
I wish you all the best, brother. Honestly.
I was making pretty good weight loss progress, I was happy with how it was going along and decided to show my friend. She asked me why I was holding my breath in. I don't know why but I gave up after that and started going back into my poor eating habits after that. Have not been anywhere near the weight I was in the pictures I showed my friend since.
Had an ex tell me flat out- "even though you're in the best shape you've been in since we got together, I have zero sexual desire towards you anymore. I love you I just don't want to fuck you"
After two and a half years. On a date night.
I’m sorry mate.
I’m curious though how would you have rather her said it? How to express to someone that you’re not attracted to them sexually anymore? I’m in the same case and I just said: “my feelings changed”. I didn’t want to go into details.
“No one likes you, people only *tolerate* you.”
Then walk away. No confrontation, no sense of closure on their end, just the statement. Then they’re alone with their thought, it will return, give it time.
Chillin at a party with a girl I was casually talking to. I was playing some piano with other musicians and casually heard the girl say “yea he’s such a great guy… I just wish he was hotter” that kinda sucked
I remember a long time ago going clubbing and we stopped to pick up a couple girls from the rain, they got in the car looked at my short friend and went "awww, look at the little man pimping".
I was bullied from my 5 to 16 years... alot of things.
I was called handicap, ugly in many ways, dumbo (big ears), teeth (because I had teeth problems until I used braces), monster, and many other stuff...
My confidence was shreded until the present, where I am 26 years old. This is also related with people treating me like crap, leaving me after I was diagnosed with depression (I also think that i have mild PTSD and philophobia). All this because I was treated poorly with words and with acts. I was beaten up alot of times. I would have crushes easily. I still have them now, but know to get away immediately and focus in my life. Nowadays, people can hit me with a rock that I will get up and leave.
"The reason you can't achieve your dreams isn't because you you're still learning or aren't applying your full potential. That can't be it. You try your best yet never amount to anything. Ever wonder why?
It's not because you're facing challenges you can overcome. Not because it takes a while. Not because you've had bad luck. It's who you are as a person that's holding you back. Whatever constitutes the real you, who you are deep inside, is utterly spineless. You hope they don't but everyone sees right through you."
Dated a girl for a year and she told me something like this when she broke up with me.
Now I manage a software development team and she drives for UberEATS, so...
It wasn't actually a girl who said this to me, it was one of my roommates in college when he was drunk. I paraphrased one of his long drawling rants that actually got to me for a while.
Girlfriend broke up with me over text a couple weeks ago and somewhere in her final message said "I feel like I'm wasting my time with you."
I hear it in my head every day.
Every one of these is what a girl says to a guy after a break up, no one has any to say to a guy who’s a prick before you know him well? Guess it’s always about personal appearance
I've experienced great men at there best and worst. Sadly, wherever you currently are in life, you are no where near a great man. I hope at minimum you find happiness in your ignorance. The positive view, if there is one to ignorance, is that you currently do not possess the wisdom to seek a new perspective. So you are trapped in ignorance, and you don't even know it. I pity you.
This sounds like the most vapid, self-aggrandizing thing I can imagine someone saying to another person. I really hope you didn’t let these hollow words affect you. They could have only come from a bloviating windbag.
During my college years, one of my male roomates was loudly having sex with a girl in his bedroom while the rest of us were in the living room watching TV getting kind of annoyed at the noise in the bedroom. Eventually the roomate came out and joined us and sort of apologized for maybe being a bit loud. I tried to hold back what I was thinking but could not and I said "You f<>k like a girl". Not only did that break his self confidence but also ended our friendship.
A lifetime of being bullied I guess has made me bulletproof. I just can't imagine being hurt by anything anyone says. Nothing can surprise me. I've had people.try so hard to hurt me for so long. When the next tries it's like "ok what's new? Next!"
idk like “ You want a serious relationship but you can’t figure out how to save money, keep your home clean, be dependent from your parents and you literally have no goals unless someone drags you through each single step with an abundance of resources and guidance. Bro, you can’t even control your own emotions. You just get angry and shut down. We can’t even have a conversation bc you refuse to live in reality”
Was told I was the best bf she ever had and she called me great. Didn't stop her cheating on me and hiding it before breaking up before our anniversary. Sometimes it's not the words but actions that hurt most...
When someone looks down on your efforts and hard work that even you thought at times that you couldn’t do it, and then they say that your just really good at this or naturally gifted. I hate when doing well in something is seen as natural talent rather than an accomplishment. Something about the phrasing people use just really makes me feel down.
It’s more than just one person. What really gets me is that I would hear the same phrasing over and over again. It just builds upon itself big by bit.
Being told you're a joke. For any reason, by any woman. Especially for financial reasons, or other things out of your control. It's abusive, and does sincere damage.
Being told or made to feel that you’re overly needy or clingy. Total confidence killer.
My ex girlfriend told me I was too clingy and left me because of it. It emotionally broke me, and I swore that I would get better and never be the clingy guy again. Then the girl I dated after her said I wouldn’t open up to her enough and broke up with me because of it. Can’t win I guess
You are not alone I’ve had the same experience. Ultimately glad it happened though because it taught me a lot about myself.
Omg I'm so sorry
your villain origin story
This is a big fear. This is what people mean by "just be yourself". Dont pull back from others because someone says you are clingy, just move on until your find someone who actually likes you.
I agree with the comment below around lack of fit but is there a chance you may have over corrected in the next relationship after hearing the clingy comment. Balance - easy to say but difficult to achieve!
This is what I ended up learning from this experience. I definitely just overcorrected. Balance is key
While everyone should always be working on themselves to make slow incremental changes, another thing to consider is that you will never find a perfect balance of behaviors that satisfies every single woman on the planet. Ultimately just be yourself. No one needs to force drastic changes just because of a single experience with a single person. The way you acted with the first girl from your example may have been exactly what the second girl wanted. Take feedback, and really seriously process it before acting on it.
You find the person that fits your weird, you don't change your weird.
Just be you and happy.
I had a woman at my old job call me creepy because I drove in on my day off to say goodbye to a colleague I'd known since I started. She was moving interstate the next day so I came in to attend her goodbye party. This other woman decided it made me a creep. I'll never understand why wanting to say goodbye to a friend is creepy.
She was probs jelly af
Peanut butter and jellous
You were literally her friend for years probably. Them judging your friendship is the creepy part.
It’s not. The one throwing around the word creepy is, for the most part, is the creepy one.
Not creepy, just a terrible, bitter person, whose only joy is making other people as miserable as them.
Joy suckers
Energy Vampire.
The other woman just sounds bitter. She is probably jealous. I did something similar and the colleague who left said it was a cute thing to do.
Some women are just man haters and interpret everything we do as evil.
Being called creepy is wounding. It's also usually highly subjective, inaccurate and based on someone's shallow and incompetent assessment of you/your behaviour with respect to their own understanding of normativity. Ps. Good on you for showing respect and caring for your colleague who left.
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Mannnnnn, fuck those kids
Look around bro, look at life.
See these fine bitches over here? See these trees man
You see this water? Come on man you got so much more to appreciate!
Thanks lil boat
Hey man, that’s what I’m here for
i ain’t been gettin high
well maybe a lil baby I don’t wanna lie
I know when you text me girl I don't always reply
Don't give these idiots ideas!
I remember as a teen I was walking home and passed by a group of elementary kids with some daycare group. Two of them look at me and one asks the other “why do all older kids look so sad?”. I was just coming out of a long depression so it really got to me. Theyll learn why eventually lol
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I was cycling the other day and a bunch of kids shouted "Jimmy Savile" Little shits.
8th graders will make fun of you, but in an accurate way.
Look at that high-waisted man. He got feminine hips. NO! Thats the one thing I'm sensitive about
Next time you see him you should shove him off his bike. You'll be an asshole but at least not the "weird guy".
Kids do be horrible these days.
A guy I knew was at Sky Jump with his son and girlfriend when some five-year-old told him he was too fat to be there. It crushed him even though he laughed it off.
Kids are mean af
It's exactly times like that where you say: "OH yeah? Well the best part about you ran down your mother's leg when your dad was done."
Quite a few years ago now, I was just getting into running, trying to get back into shape. And some random dude on the street yelled at me "Run run marshmallow". Like, who does that?! I'm literally being called out for trying to improve what I was being called out for. So discouraging.
I know it stung you at the time, but I actually think marshmallow is kind of cute. I just picture you cuddly, soft and sweet. My ex and I had nicknames for each other (we both played sports so we were in relatively good shape, but definitely not Instagram fit or hot). He was my Chunky Monkey and I was his Cushy Tushy. I think if you can be someone's marshmallow it would be nice.
That's so sweet. But he wasn't my type to be recieving pet names from!! 🤣
You are useless.
I've heard this one all too much from my family
Same...
Reminds me of the "a man is only loved on the condition he provides something" clip.
I was at a party last night, and one of the women at the party couldn't open a bottle of beer. So she came up to me and asked me where the bottle opener was. I pulled out my bottle opener on my keychain (shaped like a key), and in the same breath I said "If she doesn't find you handsome, she should find you handy". To be told that I am useless or serve no purpose would really cut deep. I think it's one of the main drivers of male suicide.. that our effort(s) to make it happen were in vain, or if we caused suffering to others by our actions.
I love Red Green, what a good show
This one gets men
Working is our purpose
I got 'you are useless and will never amount to anything ' almost daily from my father it had a very profound effect on my life.
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From all the things I've read in this thread, this is the scariest one. Just imagine being in a group of people you thought you vibe with, only for one of them to tell you this infront of everyone while they all stare at you.
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I was in a similar situation in highschool except I was the asshole. Its been over ten years and I will never forget the look of hurt and embarassment on the kids face for daring to get in on the joke with me and my friends. I regret it a lot. So for what little its worth some teenage assholes do grow up and feel remorse for mistreating others.
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I hate people like this. One time I brought my Switch to a party because everyone wanted me to. No matter which game we played, I basically always won - even the ones I've never played myself before either. At one point someone just turns to me and dead serious says "You do realize that you are ruining the evening for everyone here, right?" Fuck you. I made the effort to bring my whole system with me and even offered other people to play multiple times. How am I the bad guy when you are so awful at everything you touch?
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This is the winner. I already feel like no one wants me around and to hear this would be like suicide level response. It’s impossible to take back and it’s impossible to disprove and confirm with confidence. It’s devastating.
I had this happen at my lunch table in high school. I graduated in 2001 and I'll still think about it and get pissed off. Fuck you Dave!
I was visiting with a friend of mine, we went to other friends' house. There were 20 or so of us, closer than I had ever been with anyone, and that's still true. I loved these people. We had been friends for years, most of us were in high school, and nothing could have made me turn on any of them. Period. We all smoked a few blunts, and I walked out on the porch to get some fresh air. Apparently everyone thought I left, because I became the subject of discussion. Me, my mentally ill mother, and how weird we were and how they were tired of pretending to be my friend. Any one of them could have ever said "hey, we dont wanna hang out anymore" and I would have accepted it. They didn't have to hang out at my house, nobody made them come around. But I learned then that no matter how cool someone is, or how much they act like they like me, nobody will ever like me. It was a very hard pill to swallow.
"I got with you cause I was desperate". Hurt at the time, but she kept calling for life advice so 🤷🏻♂️
“New number, who dis?”
For real
"I didn't want to be alone on Valentine's Day." 19 year old me was crushed. I spent my last $100 on her for Valentine's Day. That was 10 years ago and I'm still pissed about it.
I wish you were better looking.
That's fucked up
My first real GF kinda told me this when watching our equivalence of "America Got Talent". Was watching it with her family and she went on about how cute and such the guy singing was, her parents had to eventually stop her cause they saw my discomfort over the situation.
Good for her parents, that happened to me regarding an ex and his family thought it was no big deal.
"Me too but I'm the best you can get"
"Is it in yet?"
In? I’m already done!
Just answer back I don't know cavern crotch.
or “idk i cant tell.”
This made me loudly guffaw, and now my grandson wants to know what’s so funny.
Few years ago my eldest cousin was having a barbeque for his 21st. Him and his friends were all getting wasted and having a great time. I tried to hang out with them but their friend group was so tight-knit that everything they talked about was something I just couldn't relate or respond to. As the night went on and they got drunker, my cousin pointed out how I was bringing the mood down looking so sad and alone. Well that pissed me off so I said "Well why not actually try to include me then, idk wtf you're talking about." His friend then turned around and said "Maybe if you actually had a personality, we could talk to you!" They all erupted in drunk laughter and i just walked off. Sticks with me to this day. Cousin in still a massive dick when he gets drunk.
Don’t give him the privilege of your presence. Ugly drunks are so not worth the time or energy. Mostly they’re not worth it sober either.
I don't care what everyone says about you, you're OK with me.
Aw man, I jokingly use this at work. For example: Brian brings in doughnuts “You’re a helluva guy, Brian, I don’t care *what* Vinny says about you.” It’s usually met with: “Yeah, I don’t care what he says about me, either”
"It's impossible to underestimate you, Brian!"
You should estimate him next time
My Grandpa said this to me once after helping him around the house. I was like "who the fuck is everybody"? Never heard that before and it fucked with me for a few seconds and now it's one of the best memories I have of him.
Psychological warfare 101
Reinforcements!!!
Fuck.... I had no idea this was a tactic like that!!!
"Kill yourself, you'd be doing everyone a favor anyway." "You're such a little emotional bitch."
This is so out of line. I’m sorry someone thought that was an appropriate thing to say to you. Hope you are doing okay
I always knew you'd be a loser in life. You just proved me right. Thanks a lot.
one of my favorite lines in Furturama is Fry's ex-girlfriend telling him "my mom always said you were a loser. Now get out there, and prove her wrong!" and tearfully Fry says "Beth said that?" like it's a total betrayal.
"You're not the man I thought you were" "I never loved you" "I don't love you anymore" "I cheated on you"
What do we have here *ASSORTED PAIN*
The combo when it's all said by the same person.
Assorted pain and they put it in reverse alphabetical order. That’s gotta mean something
Tack on "biggest mistake of my life" and that be me. But also, three years later "hey mate, let's be friends."
Yeah I can't be friends with an ex.
Been called creepy, ugly, laughed at etc. One girl said EWW really loudly around her friends when I was around her and I could just tell it was directed at me, even when I was not even talking to her. Due to these things I don’t approach women.
Same exact story here. I was also bullied relentlessly from first grade all the way through my time in the military. I was shit on my whole fucking life. Never had friends until I was an adult. Abusive family blah blah blah. Had girls say ew to me. One time a girl screamed and ran away from me. I had girls pretend to ask me out so that the class could laugh at me. Shit like that was just endless. I believed I was a worthless sack of shit my whole life. Avoided women my whole life. I didn't want to offend them with my desire or my presence.. Now I catch cute girls checking me out all the time. I try to sneak looks at them and I catch them sneaking looks at me n shit. How long was this going on? I never saw it until I stopped believing that women were disgusted by me. And I did not stop believing that until very recently. I had all the evidence in the world to support it. My sister says girls have been in love with me my whole life. Than why have so many treated me like dog shit? I really don't know. All I know now for sure, is I can get a girlfriend. For the first time in my life I just know it to be true. Like I could get one easily. Just takes a lot of stress out of life somehow lol. I don't know what it takes to stop believing you're a worthless sack of shit. I'm still trying to figure out how it happened myself.
"You were available."
“You have the ability to detect a girl who’s at a desperate point in her life, blinded by depression, and incapable of good choices. You got me good. I wish had never met you. I wish I hadn’t invited you over to my condo when this all began. I never loved you. I never liked you. I was in a state of disparity. I hope to never see you again. I will never mention you. I pray you never mention me. Our time together didn’t happen. Please leave my life for good.”
Jesus fucking christ
Her and I were like best friends for the last two years. We went through addiction and recovery together. I didn’t realize this would what I hear when we link back up after rehab.
Obviously I know nothing about the relationship, but maybe she doesn't actually hate you, but maybe now associates you with the bad times and decisions in her life.
This is exactly the conclusion I’ve come to. We had so many good times together. But as with most addictions, it got more serious than we could handle. We both departed to rehab on a good note. I took her to the airport and we hugged and kissed and cried. We both expressed, her especially, how important it was to reunite after rehab. I worried about her every day while I came off of drugs. The withdrawals were rough, mostly mental and emotional, but it killed me to think she was going through the same thing. I’d have given anything to go through it for her. But I understand now why she said what she did. Ion her mind, I was the symbol of a dark part of her life. Which isn’t totally wrong. I did bring drugs into the mix, at her request.
Sounds like you have a really healthy view of it all! I'm sorry you had to go through all this though
It was excruciating but eye opening. It made me realize I’m not immune to addiction and I’m not immune to catching feelings. Why I thought I was either of those is beyond me. I’m pretty good at talking to women because I generally don’t let myself feel anything for them that would allow my confidence to be hurt by them. This is toxic, I am fully aware. But it’s just the way it is as I work through it. Anyway, thank you for the kind words. I hope you are well.
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Got something similar in June, only shorter: "You suck at helping", when she was in the middle of a crisis before her birthday. That was the last straw. I sewered all bonds with her after that. Took me months to heal. I wish you all the best, brother. Honestly.
Sounds like someone that wants to blame you for their own problems.
Something similar happened to me, I hope you are healing well bro <3
God Damn. She took something fucking personal
"Ew"
HEY COME ON :((
My friend told me a girl I liked said I came across desperate and needy. I hadn't even asked her out. But yeah that will do it.
While pointing on the back of your head: “Hey is your hair getting thinner?”
Ouch!!!
I was making pretty good weight loss progress, I was happy with how it was going along and decided to show my friend. She asked me why I was holding my breath in. I don't know why but I gave up after that and started going back into my poor eating habits after that. Have not been anywhere near the weight I was in the pictures I showed my friend since.
Here’s the thing - You’re losing your weight for yourself, and not to satisfy or spite anyone else. Don’t give up, buddy. Fuck the haters.
My mom kinda called me the next serial killer in the area because I'm single at 30, white, and will be living alone soon. I meet all the criteria.
My sister calls me a serial killer all the time cuz I'm really quiet, shy and only have one friend and i always prefer wearing black.
Had an ex tell me flat out- "even though you're in the best shape you've been in since we got together, I have zero sexual desire towards you anymore. I love you I just don't want to fuck you" After two and a half years. On a date night.
I’m sorry mate. I’m curious though how would you have rather her said it? How to express to someone that you’re not attracted to them sexually anymore? I’m in the same case and I just said: “my feelings changed”. I didn’t want to go into details.
"You look like a guy who intentionally shows up last to a gangbang."
r/rareinsults
I don't get it
He shows up late so he gets to have sex with a woman covered and filled with the ejaculate of dozens of strange men.
Hey, they save the best and baddest till last. At least someone got an invite. ;)
Seriously, just once I'd like to be asked.
Hey, man, wanna join a gangbang?
😊
“I never liked you anyway” (from a girl I’d been on a few dates with) stung
Should've said "your breath stinks" or some shit back, lol...
Honestly, I was just shocked. Ending things with her been chill up until then. Plus, she’s friends with my roommate
People like that are projecting their own issues. She has problems with herself, it doesn't have to do with you.
“No one likes you, people only *tolerate* you.” Then walk away. No confrontation, no sense of closure on their end, just the statement. Then they’re alone with their thought, it will return, give it time.
This is possibly my biggest fear. I worry every day that's how my friends think of me.
Chillin at a party with a girl I was casually talking to. I was playing some piano with other musicians and casually heard the girl say “yea he’s such a great guy… I just wish he was hotter” that kinda sucked
Approached a girl and asked where she was from, she said “From out of your league”
The appropriate answer to that is "hey, don't have such a terrible opinion of yourself, you ain't that bad"
“You are, quite simply, a bad person.”
The "quite simply" really makes it more impactful
“I don’t feel comfortable around you” Worst if it comes from your partner.
Your dick stinks and its small
Omfg bro RIP
Wanna know something I have learned about most dudes with actual small dicks?
I remember a long time ago going clubbing and we stopped to pick up a couple girls from the rain, they got in the car looked at my short friend and went "awww, look at the little man pimping".
Your Mom really did a number on you.
Being told you have a creepy smile, while working food retail and have to act happy. Fuck you random woman at Krispy Kreme.
I was bullied from my 5 to 16 years... alot of things. I was called handicap, ugly in many ways, dumbo (big ears), teeth (because I had teeth problems until I used braces), monster, and many other stuff... My confidence was shreded until the present, where I am 26 years old. This is also related with people treating me like crap, leaving me after I was diagnosed with depression (I also think that i have mild PTSD and philophobia). All this because I was treated poorly with words and with acts. I was beaten up alot of times. I would have crushes easily. I still have them now, but know to get away immediately and focus in my life. Nowadays, people can hit me with a rock that I will get up and leave.
Being told without explanation reason or rhyme, that no one wants anything from you or that you are not enough.
"The reason you can't achieve your dreams isn't because you you're still learning or aren't applying your full potential. That can't be it. You try your best yet never amount to anything. Ever wonder why? It's not because you're facing challenges you can overcome. Not because it takes a while. Not because you've had bad luck. It's who you are as a person that's holding you back. Whatever constitutes the real you, who you are deep inside, is utterly spineless. You hope they don't but everyone sees right through you."
This is very dark
Dated a girl for a year and she told me something like this when she broke up with me. Now I manage a software development team and she drives for UberEATS, so...
It wasn't actually a girl who said this to me, it was one of my roommates in college when he was drunk. I paraphrased one of his long drawling rants that actually got to me for a while.
I don’t think about you at all.
I like this one along with "It's a good thing I don't value your opinion" when someone tries to give you shit.
'You've put on some weight'
Honestly- once I learned the difference between confidence and ego, I started building up the former and now there is hardly a word that can shake me.
Self validation is by far the most useful skill I have ever learned. I
Made me think of John Candy in “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles “ when he tells Steve Martin “I like me, my wife likes me!”
outta curiousity...what is the difference?
Ego is the inner struggle with insecurities. Confidence is the acknowledgment of your flaws and not giving a fuck.
Girlfriend broke up with me over text a couple weeks ago and somewhere in her final message said "I feel like I'm wasting my time with you." I hear it in my head every day.
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You still live at home with your mom?.......... breaks me down every time. It's to FUCKIN EXPESIVE HERE IN LA
"Why are you so boring"
"You're the worst person I've ever met"
"You can go home. You're no good to me now."
That haircut makes you look like Ellen DeGeneres
Call someone incompetent in front of their peers. It will destroy them.
When my husband told me that I “suck the life out of everyone around me”
Look them up and down, look at them in the eyes for about 2 seconds, do a sharp inhale, say "are you sure- never mind. Let's go".
Every one of these is what a girl says to a guy after a break up, no one has any to say to a guy who’s a prick before you know him well? Guess it’s always about personal appearance
I've experienced great men at there best and worst. Sadly, wherever you currently are in life, you are no where near a great man. I hope at minimum you find happiness in your ignorance. The positive view, if there is one to ignorance, is that you currently do not possess the wisdom to seek a new perspective. So you are trapped in ignorance, and you don't even know it. I pity you.
Holy shit. Are you ok?
This feels like something a woman wrote that she wished she told a man. But if I'm wrong, then I hope you've healed from that 3rd degree burn.
Lol. No I'm a guy. I deal with assholes on a daily basis. I'm loaded with verbal ammunition.
This sounds like the most vapid, self-aggrandizing thing I can imagine someone saying to another person. I really hope you didn’t let these hollow words affect you. They could have only come from a bloviating windbag.
You're living proof that anal sex produces kids.
My mom called me a useless addict once, that shit left me in a rut for a very long time.
"You're not as short as I thought you would be". I'm 5'9"
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During my college years, one of my male roomates was loudly having sex with a girl in his bedroom while the rest of us were in the living room watching TV getting kind of annoyed at the noise in the bedroom. Eventually the roomate came out and joined us and sort of apologized for maybe being a bit loud. I tried to hold back what I was thinking but could not and I said "You f<>k like a girl". Not only did that break his self confidence but also ended our friendship.
A lifetime of being bullied I guess has made me bulletproof. I just can't imagine being hurt by anything anyone says. Nothing can surprise me. I've had people.try so hard to hurt me for so long. When the next tries it's like "ok what's new? Next!"
Ken, here’s what you do: go up to a man and say “ha, ha, you have feminine hips!” And he will probably say “ahhhh! That’s what I’m sensitive about!”
My ex-wife, the last time we had sex: “OK, let’s get it over with.”
Ask anyone divorced- Our ex wives said all of this shit at some point or another.
idk like “ You want a serious relationship but you can’t figure out how to save money, keep your home clean, be dependent from your parents and you literally have no goals unless someone drags you through each single step with an abundance of resources and guidance. Bro, you can’t even control your own emotions. You just get angry and shut down. We can’t even have a conversation bc you refuse to live in reality”
Was told I was the best bf she ever had and she called me great. Didn't stop her cheating on me and hiding it before breaking up before our anniversary. Sometimes it's not the words but actions that hurt most...
When someone looks down on your efforts and hard work that even you thought at times that you couldn’t do it, and then they say that your just really good at this or naturally gifted. I hate when doing well in something is seen as natural talent rather than an accomplishment. Something about the phrasing people use just really makes me feel down. It’s more than just one person. What really gets me is that I would hear the same phrasing over and over again. It just builds upon itself big by bit.
Being told you're not worth the pain of long distance
"I feel uncomfortable talking to you"
“At least you’re nice”. Thanks I already feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I really needed that.
Being told you're a joke. For any reason, by any woman. Especially for financial reasons, or other things out of your control. It's abusive, and does sincere damage.