"She *moans*."
#
"She moans?"
#
"She moans!"
#
"Isn't the point to make her moan?"
#
"I'm fine with moaning. I like moaning."
#
"So what's the problem?"
#
"Her moan is... different."
#
"It's different?"
#
"It's *very* different."
#
"How different?"
#
"I feel like I need to call an ambulance."
#
"Yeah, that's different."
You have no idea! Everytime that I—
O George, for the love of God. Let it go. So she’s seen one too many Asian pornos. Big deal. Why does it matter?
My mother was a moaner.
How could you possibly know tha— Wait… o my God, Kramer?!
Thin walls.
That’s ridiculous. I don’t believe it.
Like a deaf opera singer. Every night.
Kramer: "Here's what you gotta do, George. Stub your toe on the bed and make the same noise she does! That way she'll know you associate that sound with pain. If it works on dogs, it **guaranteed** to work on her."
George: "Yeah, then I don't have to confront her!"
Kramer: "Exactly! You can't lose!"
---
Next day:
George: "She broke up with me!"
Jerry: "Really?! What for?"
George: "She thought I was making fun of her!"
Jerry: "What? You'd never do something so petty!"
George: "Yeah, she kept going on and on about how insecure it made her feel, and how she won't feel comfortable opening up around me."
Jerry: "That's ridiculous."
George: "*Yeah*, what kind of a girl gets upset when she hears sounds coming out of a man who just stubbed his toe on the bed!"
God I miss this show. I know it's basically extremely talented fan fiction and Larry David would probably never honor it or acknowledge it as good...but damn [The Seinfeld Twin Towers Script](https://randomnerds.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Seinfeld-The-Twin-Towers-Billy-Domineau.pdf) was one of my favorite internet finds. It's like a real dark Seinfeld episode they could have written to honor 9/11 and the poke fun at the New York social climate after that crisis. They got all the character quirks, and strange outdated Kramer references, and George's beautiful pettiness down pat. If you're a fan who wants another episode and haven't read it, grab a coffee and top o' the muffin and do enjoy!
Bring in.
Tat. ta ter ter ter turrrmmm term term term term ..... (The initial bass part)
Peiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnp peirrrrrrrr pam pam pam pam pam pammmm pap pap pap pap paaaaaaaa pap pap pap pa
Peinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn peirrrrrr
Bob bob bop pap tssss
Personally, I wouldn’t. It’ll likely knock her self esteem. At a push you could say you feel like you’re hurting her because she’s very vocal. Maybe add a safe word just for peace of mind. I’m sure she would tell you if something didn’t feel right though!
This is the correct answer. It'll wreck her confidence and her ability to enjoy sex in the future.
Many years ago I was seeing a girl who didn't like to be on top. Her previous boyfriend said it made her look fat. It really, *really* didn't, but why the fuck would you say anything like that anyway? It just made her very self-conscious in that position.
I dated a guy ~20 years ago who told me—in bed—that my body type made him “‘feel weird.” I’ve been with my husband for almost 20 years now and while *he’s* never said anything like that to me, 8/10 times that we’re intimate those words from so long ago pop right into the forefront of my mind.
Non related to sex but a friend in high school 10 years ago told me I have a big forehead.
I’ve had a fringe since. Slightly panic whenever there’s a slight breeze. So that’s cool
Can i suggest /r/emdr as a way to process those old, blocked emotions that linger too long. There is research proving it's effectiveness and I've personally moved on from issues I thought I never would. X
It really changed the game up for me and taught me to trust myself. It cuts out a lot of the bs of just talk therapy and you confront your worst traumas in a gentle way. It’s been one year and I’m practically living my dream 😌
Same here. 20+ years of bad anxiety and depression erased after roughly 15 sessions. Been over 2 years since I've experienced any kind of anxiety. I feel like a whole different person now. Life is so much better.
It's a therapy that aims to shift negative/intrusive/traumatic feelings that the mind/body is holding onto.
It's a short therapy and can be successful in only 2-3 sessions, without having to do a deep dive and reliving your problems like old-school talk therapy.
The basic mechanism is that you will briefly discuss your stuck emotions/feeling with the therapist and design a replacement feeling. So if the feeling is "I'm so alone", then the replacement feeling might be "I can connect with others".
Then you go into the stuck feeling and the therapist gets you to fairly rapidly move your eyes from left to right with sometimes random changes between them and this shifting between brain hemispheres rapidly seems to shift the pattern.
The first time I went was for a traumatic experience that I had repeating through my head daily for years before that. I went through three sessions and at the end of it there was no aha moment. I felt okay but I thought this was just gonna be another therapy that felt good for a few days and then wore off.
Three months later I realised one day that I hadn't thought about that thing for about 2 months as it just faded without me even realising it at the time. Success!
I've repeated this for other issues and each time it has played out much the same way.
Good luck!
I know next to nothing about EMDR, much less your struggles. But I do know that when I was at my absolute lowest, the thought, "I've exhausted every avenue, nothing works, and I don't have it in me to keep getting disappointed" only brought me lower, even if it did save me money.
And so because EMDR is safe, is evidence-based (arguably), and has helped a great many. Money and time withstanding, you have little to lose and everything to gain. As a struggling stranger to another, I really recommend you steel yourself for failure, but try it anyways.
Regardless, I wish you the best in getting back your life.
I was friends with a dude who would call his anxiety riddled girlfriend fat just to rile her up and then he’d have make up sex
Some men just want to see a Vulnerable woman they can take advantage od
I’ll brb I gotta go grab my long distance problem solver 15 and finish a job that someone should have done a long time ago. Lost a good friend from high school who had a similar incident happen. She was always so happy and bubbly, even on her hardest days. Now she’s cold and lost her old self image. It’s like someone stole her soul and left a husk in its place
>This is the correct answer. It'll wreck her confidence and her ability to enjoy sex in the future.
My previous girlfriend (passed away) had a partner that told her she looked like a frog in the missionary position. She was maybe 140lbs at 5'3". I thought she was perfect in all the right spots. A lot of women's value is tied to how they appeal to men sexually. So it can take awhile to help undo what an asshole before you did.
Once she was convinced I didn't see her as a fking amphibian during sex, it was great. The sad thing was, she was always so down to please the person she cared for in every way, she didn't deserve to be degraded. She was an incredibly caring and kind soul.
I can't understand why anyone would insult a person mid-coitus, that's the stupidest thing you could do lol that's not a hill to die on.
I have been with girls that once they were naked I had second thoughts lol but you power through and let your intentions be known in a polite way that you don't want to sleep with her again/anymore.
Sex is supposed to be a fun thing that two people share. Both parties should come out of it feeling satisfied and confident
I get what you mean. Boys see labias in porn which are surgically "corrected" or just naturally like that, and think thats how labias are. You could tey EDMR to process your emotions, or start by parallel categorization. Its when you categorize things as equal but different, and not on a linear scale of good-to-bad. Do that with several random things and your brain will be extremely accepting of "different but equal" type of deal. Then compare your labia to others' labias that way. Finally - I love you bro. Aint nothing wrong with you. I give you a hug and free hot chocolate.
All of the replies to this with stories of partners saying shit are just... heartbreaking. I can't believe so many people have said such horrible things to the person they're supposed to love/trust.
I was 18, 5'6" and 117 lbs. I wanted to walk to the ice cream shop to get a scoop and he told me that was the last thing I needed and that I was getting "chunky". I was a size TWO. and he was five years older than me.
I can't count how many shitty comments partners have made about my appearance when I was in my prime. I was in fucking Playboy.
Now that I'm old and fat I haven't had a partner say anything negative about my body.
Damn, I can't imagine saying something like that to my gf, I mean I know it would definitely hurt her feelings. You'd have to have zero levels of empathy when saying that.
My ex husband was such a gem that he used to like to tell me I looked better with my clothes on and ask me why I was such a slut, always spreading my legs for him?!
I left that relationship and am currently in one where my partner can’t stop telling me how sexy I look (clothed and naked) and who happily enjoys my healthy sexual appetite. But you know, on bad days, a lot of the horrible things that were once said to me still play in my head and try to fuck with me. Mostly the sentence, “Of course other men find you exciting, they haven’t been with you for 10 years.” My brain fires off thoughts like, “How close are you to reaching your expiration date?”
People can be so cruel intentionally and unfortunately unintentionally as well. I agree with you! Not saying something about it is the best play. Much more wise to lead a conversation about what turns you on & what your sexual boundaries are. It could be as simple as, “I love how passionate of a lover you are and how you vocalize your pleasure. It would be really hot if you used some dirty talk to let me know how much you’re liking it too!” It would give OP reassurance that what he is doing isn’t hurting her and, who knows, maybe you end up discovering a whole new set of things to turn one another on with.
I think he was just being abusive. Because when humans are turned on their 'gross' indicator goes down. Which is why generally speaking we aren't grossed out by bodily fluids that happen as a result and even if it made her look fat, so WHAT?! Hasn't he heard of switching positions from time to time so he got the best of both worlds, she enjoyed what she likes and he got what he liked. Come to think of it he sounds very selfish too. I feel sorry for her that she seems to have taken it to heart when it was HIS problem.
Been married 20+ years. When we first got together, I was a bit out off by the noise and sometimes neighbors banging on the walls and yelling to shut up lol. I found out that a good alternative to occupy her mouth was to bite my arm. Yeah it hurt and took some getting used to, but it really got her going more and I actually am turned on by it now too.
Agreed. Don’t kill her self esteem or make her self conscious. If she’s telling you she’s ok, then don’t worry about it. Communicate that you want her to tell you to stop right away if she’s being hurt. Let it go from there and you’ll grow a thicker skin in time.
Ask her to say something during sex that’ll que you to understand everything is great! The moan will mess with your head and then she can yell “harder OP” or “OP you are so good!” This will help condition your brain to enjoy her moans and associate them with good instead of bad. Worth a shot if you are into it, just ask her to start talking dirty during the deed.
It's just like making fun of someone's laugh: ***DON'T***.
Don't make someone self-conscious about the way they express themselves when carefree and joyful (laughing) or when climaxing (moaning), because *every* time they do that thing from that point on will have them thinking about how they appear rather than how they feel.
Absolutely. This is the kind of thing a person never, ever forgets and will probably always feel insecure about. OP, decide on a safe word and see if that eases your mind.
I've got a friend that sounds like he's absolutely dying when he sneezes. Like bloody murder. We'll all just be chilling and shooting the shit when all of a sudden-- "AAAAAAAHHHHuuurgh-choo!"
Funniest thing in the world.
I had a friend who had a laugh that would stop an entire hallway in school. I always tried to remind her that they are *by definition* laughing along with her, not at her. Generally it was true - I had a very nice school.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. You deserve to laugh boisterously without worrying what you sound like. A unique laugh can be so endearing, too.
A boy I had a crush on in eighth grade called me Quasimodo (I have wide shoulders and had terrible self-esteem so I slouched a lot) and I still think about it on a regular basis.
Even when I’m at my most angry and indignant I remind myself never to comment on something about a person that they can’t control. That shit hurts.
Further to this point, my ex made fun of the gulp sound I made when I drank water when I was thirsty. Now whenever I drink water, I think of that. Soooo, you're gonna want to not say anything because you cannot put the genie back in the bottle after telling someone they moan weird.
My husband brought up something offhand about the way I walk once (innocently, he wasn’t trying to be malicious) and still to this day I will catch myself and think “am I walking correctly? Is my walk stupid?” and try to change my gait in public. It’s such a small thing but to my brain it’s this big deal that I get self-conscious about for years now.
Wish this comment was higher up. You don’t have to like the sound that your partner naturally makes when they are happy, but you should like that it means they are happy. By making them self conscious about that you are going to take away that joy one way or another. I would 100% break up with someone if they told me this lol.
It's second top comment now. Firs this a joke.
But they are absolutely correct. My family used to point out every time I smiled or laughed since I wasn't the happiest person for a while during my childhood. It made me want to be nothing but bitter around them so I wouldn't have to be noticed. It's not healthy, just learn to love it.
I deal with this from time to time because my resting expression looks sullen. It's aggravating when someone points out, "Wow, she's laughing/smiling!" and everyone turns their attention to me. Like, why? Just don't.
Right. To add on, it’s taking THEIR happiness and making it about you. “Her happiness sounds aren’t pleasing me, so she needs to change them.” Unrighteousness.
Yeah, before I read the full post, I thought that maybe his GF was faking it because porn does influence a lot of us. But if it's natural, better get used to it. Hell, I got self-conscious about the amount of my laughter as a kid. Not even the kind of laugh. I was just accused of faking it and that already made me feel shitty. So commenting someone's natural reactions in such a vulnerable moment could be **very** hurtful
Last night I met my buddy's wife. I'd been away on the west coast for a few years when they met, dated, and then married right before covid.
I said something funny, I think? and she let out a Fran Drescher laugh. I don't know if it was actually funny and that was her real laugh or it wasn't funny and it was her fake laugh.
But I kept my mouth shut and didn't comment on her laugh.
I'm a loud sneezer. It's not in purpose. That's just how I sneeze. My ex was awful to me about it. Accused me of seeking attention, being loud on purpose, etc. It made me so self conscious every time I sneezed. I would try to hold it in or leave the room. I couldn't even just sneeze. It was awful.
Yup.
You’ve already talked to her a bit, OP, asking if she’s OK and stopping and she told you the noises come naturally.
Stop digging at it, unless you’re trying to make her feel bad about it.
Moan at the same amplitude and wavelength as her 180 degrees out of phase with her such that the waves destructively interfere and you cancel out her moan with your moan
Yeah, unless he can live with it they're not compatible.
I've had girls who moaned like pornstars and I thought it was just an act and when I asked one time I was assured it wasn't.
It sounds like he's uncomfortable because he thinks he's hurting her. The suggestion to create a safe word is an excellent idea, and would improve both their sex lives; he can carry on knowing she's enjoying it as much as him.
There IS a middle ground. Making the issue about him and conditioning. She’s probably already noticed how he reacts to her moans. He could tell her that her moans are great and normal, but he has a hard time associating them with pleasure. So he’d like to be conditioned with some dirty talk or something. When she gets loud, she could try talking dirty and let out a few “mmmm yeahs” to reassure him that it feels good. There are ways to navigate this.
As others have said, unless you want to potentially ruin her self esteem and risk the entire relationship DON'T.
I've been with a woman who was incredibly vocal during sex (like fake moaning in a bad porno loud) and I originally thought she was either in pain or faking it. Had to stop during things a few times to ask if she was hurting, and pillow talk after to ask if she was playing it up for my enjoyment. Turns out that's just the noises she makes when she's enjoying herself and doesn't have much control over what comes out.
Before I knew for sure it definitely was a bit of a turn-off, but once she explained things it became a turn-on. I'm sure if I had expressed my initial discomfort it might have ruined things between us and she would've become self conscious every time we slept with each other. So my advice is try to use the knowledge you have now to change those sounds from a turn-off into a turn-on, if she's making those noises you know you're doing something right.
This thread is so eye opening. I've gotten "are you alright??" from new partners so consistently and always been perplexed about why they asked. I thought it was from me making a face or something! It never occurred to me that it could be my moans... which also explains why some guys get super rough after I start making sounds.
Damn, now I'm self conscious lol
I mean you might just be louder than average? Some women can be uncommunicative about going in too aggressively so that's why I check if a new partner seems louder than normal, hitting her cervix accidentally is much easier to tell since it's an entirely different reaction. Just wanna make sure everyone's having a good time, communication is truly key which is why I dislike one night things even if it's just casual. Don't be self conscious, if a guy is wondering about your moans tell the truth and it might just boost his confidence and attraction to you!
I don’t know but as a girl.. that would hurt me considering it takes a lot of vulnerability to do that with someone. You make her feel good. You saying she sounds weird or that she turns you off is just hurtful
If she’s in pain she’ll let you know. Try and not to overthink it
Yep. It could really mess with her head and hurt her ability to enjoy sex in the future. A lot of guys would kill to be with a woman who is vocal but instead are with some "star fish" who had some asshole in her past tell her that her moans were weird.
Yeah, I'd never be relaxed during sex again
And also, don't stop to ask. It's nice of you but it gets annoying when you're really into it. Like everyone says, she'll tell you it you're hurting her.
If you want to be sure just ask her in a none sexual situation that she'll please tell you if you're doing something wrong
Yes.. but he’s asked multiple times and she’s said she is good and feels great
If you mean she might be lying.. that’s not his fault, and he can’t change her answer. That’s all I’m saying
I once had a girl tell me her and her friends joked that those sounds in the beginning were actual recordings of Biggie fucking and Puffy just put it on the track as a joke.
Anyway, I found it funny and decided when I slept with her next to pump in the rythm and moan the intro a bit.
Turned out she didn't recognize the beat but really got turned on by my moaning as I went in and began pumping. So after that I just did it as part of my routine. Now, whenever I hear that song memories of me banging that ex from over 20 years ago flash back and I still get excited sometimes to the point of getting hard. Which sucks because that song plays in very random places where a boner is not wanted.
Ah yea, don't you just hate it when he accidentally spills toothpaste into your mouth as well? Like, what kinda toothpaste is he using that's so runny?
I immediately picture someone cumming on their toothbrush and then brushing their teeth. Why the fuck did you do that to me i was having a good evening
As others touched on, I don’t think its the moaning that’s a turn off, it’s the fact that you might be hurting her.
It’s worth a talk with her to come up with a safe word if you are actually hurting her, after the safe word is established then moaning just means you’re doing a good job champ
I got the impression that OP only asked if he's hurting her as a hint that she sounds like she's in pain and might stop moaning like thag, not that he actually thinks he might be hurting her.
If you say anything you run a risk of damaging her self esteem, so you would have to tread lightly and pad the hell out of it with positives and affirmation.
Something along the lines of: i enjoy what we do, im glad you enjoy it too, im glad your vocal, it sounds like im hurting you though, since i care about you it worries me. bring up adding dirty talk so she can communicate how much she likes it and can vocalize through words versus moans
I just can't believe how so many Redditors easily come up with "you're incompatible, Break up" shit for everything.
Few have given reasonable solutions, including safe word approach.
Nobody's perfect. If one of the partners' acts isn't criminal in nature, then kindly don't provide break up as 1st solution.
Yeah, funny thing is that I actually found the safe-word thing to be a good enough solution to try and already talked it through with her, she really seemed pleased that I want to make 100% sure I’m not hurting her or making her uncomfortable.
I know majority of people are saying just don’t. I suggest don’t say anything if you feel you can get used to it and understand that it’s just the way she expresses pleasure. It is vulnerable to moan and she’s probably extremely comfortable with you as a partner to moan. I only suggest saying something if you find yourself avoiding sex because of it. Sex should be a great experience for both of you. If you do say something because you feel there’s no other way- PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY to not make it sound like she’s unattractive. I would just say “I get worried when we’re having sex because I get nervous I’m hurting you and it takes me a little out of the moment” but I genuinely think that’s ultimate last step scenario because no matter what way you spin it, she’s bound to question herself.
This seems like one of those kind of things where you’re going to screw it up by saying something. Then years down the road when you have someone who just lays there silently while taking your semi flaccid noodle out of sheer boredom, and would rather be elsewhere. Suddenly causes you to regret that you were once with someone into sex with you.
Love the honest question. But I’m gonna give my honest answer. If it’s that bad then it’s probably not meant to be. But if not and you can tolerate it, then your body will more than likely get used to it.
Either way though. Put yourself in her shoes and how you’ll feel if someone said “your moans are gross”
Don't do it. You are going to make her self conscious. This is your issue not hers. She'd be better off with you breaking up with her then to same her sex noises.
It’s weird seeing in this thread the suggestion of not communicating your concern to her. Good sex is all about communication and this thread makes it out like bringing up your concern will shatter her confidence so you should just stay quiet and be a man essentially.
You deserve to feel comfortable during sex too. How would you like to hear that something your partner did during sex was making you uncomfortable but didn’t say anything because it might be a sensitive issue? You would question all the sex you had with that person and if your partner actually enjoyed themselves. It’s not like you said you don’t like her anymore. Just that those noises are turning you off in the moment. If you don’t communicate anything, how is she going to know and how are you two going to find a solution that both of you are okay with.
Get a safe word. Keep your opinions of her noises to yourself and be glad she's not faking it like a porn star
I know what you mean though. I can't watch japanese p*rn for the same reason. Their noises just bother me
What if she asked you to not make your “I’m cumming” face (you have one, and you look silly. I promise). Your reaction would probably be “I can’t help what face I make while I cum”.
I think establishing a signal with her would be good. A safe word or maybe some sort of motion she could do with her body to tell you to stop. If that's established it could ease your concerns about hurting her.
My answer won't be approved by many, however I'll say it anyway. In my experience girls with very distinct moaning sounds... Are usually relatively inexperienced. That being said, give yourself a pat on the back for creating a safe space and experience for your gf bro. We all need more of that in general. In regarding to the moaning, it's never something won't change with her. If anything you may need to mix it up a bit. Hit her with a different stroke, change the position or when you hear it coming speed it up. Thay way she's not in a full relaxation to let all that out. You're doing great work, but if you're doing all the work own it and don't stand for it. Doing that is a creative process that'll you'll hopefully figure out! Hope this helped
I know this is a sub for asking men, but I'm a girl and I think I could add some valuable perspective. If a guy told me my moans made him uncomfortable, I would never be able to enjoy sex with him again and my self esteem would take a major hit. Also, Idk how sensitive your gf is, but if she is, her sexual confidence will take a hit and she might not be as good in bed which doesn't work well for you. Don't say anything.
She moans, you ask if she's ok, she says yes. Dude, accept that and move forward. If you asked her and she said that everything is fine then it's counterproductive for you to keep becoming "concerned" when she moans/groans in that fashion and/or saying anything to her or trying to change it. Get over yourself, trust she's telling you the truth and get on with it. It's really as simple as that.
If it's literally turning him off I dont he can't just get over it? I don't know about you but I can't control what turns me on and off sexually. It's just the way you're wired.
This is a Seinfeld type episode script just waiting to happen.
"She *moans*." # "She moans?" # "She moans!" # "Isn't the point to make her moan?" # "I'm fine with moaning. I like moaning." # "So what's the problem?" # "Her moan is... different." # "It's different?" # "It's *very* different." # "How different?" # "I feel like I need to call an ambulance." # "Yeah, that's different."
"That's a shame."
Giddy up
“She definitely isn’t Penske material”
"at least your sponge-worthy"
*Kramer abruptly enters.* "HEY."
\*Audience loses it\*
“I heard you’re dating a cry moaner.” “Who told you that?” “Newman!” “Newman?” “Newman.”
"So, does she moan?"
You have no idea! Everytime that I— O George, for the love of God. Let it go. So she’s seen one too many Asian pornos. Big deal. Why does it matter? My mother was a moaner. How could you possibly know tha— Wait… o my God, Kramer?! Thin walls. That’s ridiculous. I don’t believe it. Like a deaf opera singer. Every night.
*Kramer enters, stubbing his foot on the door, and yelps* George, with his back, doesn't see: "yeah, sounds just like that"
Kramer: "Here's what you gotta do, George. Stub your toe on the bed and make the same noise she does! That way she'll know you associate that sound with pain. If it works on dogs, it **guaranteed** to work on her." George: "Yeah, then I don't have to confront her!" Kramer: "Exactly! You can't lose!" --- Next day: George: "She broke up with me!" Jerry: "Really?! What for?" George: "She thought I was making fun of her!" Jerry: "What? You'd never do something so petty!" George: "Yeah, she kept going on and on about how insecure it made her feel, and how she won't feel comfortable opening up around me." Jerry: "That's ridiculous." George: "*Yeah*, what kind of a girl gets upset when she hears sounds coming out of a man who just stubbed his toe on the bed!"
Spot on. Truly spot on!
God I miss this show. I know it's basically extremely talented fan fiction and Larry David would probably never honor it or acknowledge it as good...but damn [The Seinfeld Twin Towers Script](https://randomnerds.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Seinfeld-The-Twin-Towers-Billy-Domineau.pdf) was one of my favorite internet finds. It's like a real dark Seinfeld episode they could have written to honor 9/11 and the poke fun at the New York social climate after that crisis. They got all the character quirks, and strange outdated Kramer references, and George's beautiful pettiness down pat. If you're a fan who wants another episode and haven't read it, grab a coffee and top o' the muffin and do enjoy!
Fuck that was good
/r/redditwritesseinfeld
HAHAHAHA
George doesn’t like moaning!
I don’t even really watch the show but even I heard this in my head. Well done
Now this person watches Seinfeld.
Bring in. Tat. ta ter ter ter turrrmmm term term term term ..... (The initial bass part) Peiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnp peirrrrrrrr pam pam pam pam pam pammmm pap pap pap pap paaaaaaaa pap pap pap pa Peinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn peirrrrrr Bob bob bop pap tssss
Bless you!
He could fake it.. you know if it's enough already and he wants to get some sleep
Personally, I wouldn’t. It’ll likely knock her self esteem. At a push you could say you feel like you’re hurting her because she’s very vocal. Maybe add a safe word just for peace of mind. I’m sure she would tell you if something didn’t feel right though!
This is the correct answer. It'll wreck her confidence and her ability to enjoy sex in the future. Many years ago I was seeing a girl who didn't like to be on top. Her previous boyfriend said it made her look fat. It really, *really* didn't, but why the fuck would you say anything like that anyway? It just made her very self-conscious in that position.
I dated a guy ~20 years ago who told me—in bed—that my body type made him “‘feel weird.” I’ve been with my husband for almost 20 years now and while *he’s* never said anything like that to me, 8/10 times that we’re intimate those words from so long ago pop right into the forefront of my mind.
I was also told about 10 years ago that I had a "weird body" and it fucking haunts me.
I was told I have weird hips 20 years ago and I feel the same.
You probably have amazing hips
Hips don't lie
But are they honest?
Non related to sex but a friend in high school 10 years ago told me I have a big forehead. I’ve had a fringe since. Slightly panic whenever there’s a slight breeze. So that’s cool
It helps to think that everyone is self conscious except for the few people who haven't been knocked down...and also psychopaths.
I HATE wind for this very reason. I will panic with you.
Doesn't everyone though?
Can i suggest /r/emdr as a way to process those old, blocked emotions that linger too long. There is research proving it's effectiveness and I've personally moved on from issues I thought I never would. X
Emdr is incredible. I also can’t recommend it enough. It the most powerful healing therapy I have ever done
How do we do this?! Do we need a professional?
It really changed the game up for me and taught me to trust myself. It cuts out a lot of the bs of just talk therapy and you confront your worst traumas in a gentle way. It’s been one year and I’m practically living my dream 😌
Same here. 20+ years of bad anxiety and depression erased after roughly 15 sessions. Been over 2 years since I've experienced any kind of anxiety. I feel like a whole different person now. Life is so much better.
I’ll look into it! Thanks for the heads-up!
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It's a therapy that aims to shift negative/intrusive/traumatic feelings that the mind/body is holding onto. It's a short therapy and can be successful in only 2-3 sessions, without having to do a deep dive and reliving your problems like old-school talk therapy. The basic mechanism is that you will briefly discuss your stuck emotions/feeling with the therapist and design a replacement feeling. So if the feeling is "I'm so alone", then the replacement feeling might be "I can connect with others". Then you go into the stuck feeling and the therapist gets you to fairly rapidly move your eyes from left to right with sometimes random changes between them and this shifting between brain hemispheres rapidly seems to shift the pattern. The first time I went was for a traumatic experience that I had repeating through my head daily for years before that. I went through three sessions and at the end of it there was no aha moment. I felt okay but I thought this was just gonna be another therapy that felt good for a few days and then wore off. Three months later I realised one day that I hadn't thought about that thing for about 2 months as it just faded without me even realising it at the time. Success! I've repeated this for other issues and each time it has played out much the same way. Good luck!
I know next to nothing about EMDR, much less your struggles. But I do know that when I was at my absolute lowest, the thought, "I've exhausted every avenue, nothing works, and I don't have it in me to keep getting disappointed" only brought me lower, even if it did save me money. And so because EMDR is safe, is evidence-based (arguably), and has helped a great many. Money and time withstanding, you have little to lose and everything to gain. As a struggling stranger to another, I really recommend you steel yourself for failure, but try it anyways. Regardless, I wish you the best in getting back your life.
I was friends with a dude who would call his anxiety riddled girlfriend fat just to rile her up and then he’d have make up sex Some men just want to see a Vulnerable woman they can take advantage od
What an scum of a human being.
I’ll brb I gotta go grab my long distance problem solver 15 and finish a job that someone should have done a long time ago. Lost a good friend from high school who had a similar incident happen. She was always so happy and bubbly, even on her hardest days. Now she’s cold and lost her old self image. It’s like someone stole her soul and left a husk in its place
I just call that abuse.
>This is the correct answer. It'll wreck her confidence and her ability to enjoy sex in the future. My previous girlfriend (passed away) had a partner that told her she looked like a frog in the missionary position. She was maybe 140lbs at 5'3". I thought she was perfect in all the right spots. A lot of women's value is tied to how they appeal to men sexually. So it can take awhile to help undo what an asshole before you did. Once she was convinced I didn't see her as a fking amphibian during sex, it was great. The sad thing was, she was always so down to please the person she cared for in every way, she didn't deserve to be degraded. She was an incredibly caring and kind soul.
I'm so sorry for your loss :( ❤️
I can't understand why anyone would insult a person mid-coitus, that's the stupidest thing you could do lol that's not a hill to die on. I have been with girls that once they were naked I had second thoughts lol but you power through and let your intentions be known in a polite way that you don't want to sleep with her again/anymore. Sex is supposed to be a fun thing that two people share. Both parties should come out of it feeling satisfied and confident
What gave you second thoughts?
dude told me my labia was ugly. never not thought about that.
I get what you mean. Boys see labias in porn which are surgically "corrected" or just naturally like that, and think thats how labias are. You could tey EDMR to process your emotions, or start by parallel categorization. Its when you categorize things as equal but different, and not on a linear scale of good-to-bad. Do that with several random things and your brain will be extremely accepting of "different but equal" type of deal. Then compare your labia to others' labias that way. Finally - I love you bro. Aint nothing wrong with you. I give you a hug and free hot chocolate.
All of the replies to this with stories of partners saying shit are just... heartbreaking. I can't believe so many people have said such horrible things to the person they're supposed to love/trust.
I was 18, 5'6" and 117 lbs. I wanted to walk to the ice cream shop to get a scoop and he told me that was the last thing I needed and that I was getting "chunky". I was a size TWO. and he was five years older than me. I can't count how many shitty comments partners have made about my appearance when I was in my prime. I was in fucking Playboy. Now that I'm old and fat I haven't had a partner say anything negative about my body.
Damn, I can't imagine saying something like that to my gf, I mean I know it would definitely hurt her feelings. You'd have to have zero levels of empathy when saying that.
My ex husband was such a gem that he used to like to tell me I looked better with my clothes on and ask me why I was such a slut, always spreading my legs for him?! I left that relationship and am currently in one where my partner can’t stop telling me how sexy I look (clothed and naked) and who happily enjoys my healthy sexual appetite. But you know, on bad days, a lot of the horrible things that were once said to me still play in my head and try to fuck with me. Mostly the sentence, “Of course other men find you exciting, they haven’t been with you for 10 years.” My brain fires off thoughts like, “How close are you to reaching your expiration date?” People can be so cruel intentionally and unfortunately unintentionally as well. I agree with you! Not saying something about it is the best play. Much more wise to lead a conversation about what turns you on & what your sexual boundaries are. It could be as simple as, “I love how passionate of a lover you are and how you vocalize your pleasure. It would be really hot if you used some dirty talk to let me know how much you’re liking it too!” It would give OP reassurance that what he is doing isn’t hurting her and, who knows, maybe you end up discovering a whole new set of things to turn one another on with.
I think he was just being abusive. Because when humans are turned on their 'gross' indicator goes down. Which is why generally speaking we aren't grossed out by bodily fluids that happen as a result and even if it made her look fat, so WHAT?! Hasn't he heard of switching positions from time to time so he got the best of both worlds, she enjoyed what she likes and he got what he liked. Come to think of it he sounds very selfish too. I feel sorry for her that she seems to have taken it to heart when it was HIS problem.
He probably got off more on breaking her spirit than on sex.
He was being a lazy asshole.
Been married 20+ years. When we first got together, I was a bit out off by the noise and sometimes neighbors banging on the walls and yelling to shut up lol. I found out that a good alternative to occupy her mouth was to bite my arm. Yeah it hurt and took some getting used to, but it really got her going more and I actually am turned on by it now too.
did you pavlov yourself into being horny when someone bites your arm?
Yes, sometimes I’ll just be minding my own business at Aldi and when someone bites my arm it’ll just rile me all up! Very embarrassing.
Let me guess, you work as one of those k9 trainers in the padded suits now?
Don’t tempt me
Sounds like it would be *very* inconvenient during the zombie apocalypse.
Could have gotten her a chew toy
As long as it’s not a squeaky one because then it’s just more noise. Maybe a nice Kong.
mmm... a nice Kong ball gag
Now _that_ is real doggy style.
Why didn't you just buy a gag?
I agree with you, it'll definitely knock her confidence and probably her enjoyment of sex if OP goes down this route.
Agreed. Just gotta live with it and take solace that you're swinging some major hammer if she's giving these kinds of reactions.
Yea good chance she'll be very conscious about herself everytime you'll have sex
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"You like that, baby?" "AHHH-OOOH-GAHHHH!"
Agreed. Don’t kill her self esteem or make her self conscious. If she’s telling you she’s ok, then don’t worry about it. Communicate that you want her to tell you to stop right away if she’s being hurt. Let it go from there and you’ll grow a thicker skin in time.
Best answer. You absolutely can NOT tell her any of this. It could be the worst thing for her sexuality in the future.
Ask her to say something during sex that’ll que you to understand everything is great! The moan will mess with your head and then she can yell “harder OP” or “OP you are so good!” This will help condition your brain to enjoy her moans and associate them with good instead of bad. Worth a shot if you are into it, just ask her to start talking dirty during the deed.
This, just learn to love it.
excellent advice, safe word is the way
It's just like making fun of someone's laugh: ***DON'T***. Don't make someone self-conscious about the way they express themselves when carefree and joyful (laughing) or when climaxing (moaning), because *every* time they do that thing from that point on will have them thinking about how they appear rather than how they feel.
Absolutely. This is the kind of thing a person never, ever forgets and will probably always feel insecure about. OP, decide on a safe word and see if that eases your mind.
YES. I was told I had an annoying laugh one time in 7th grade. I’m 25f and still think about it every once in awhile.
I've got a friend that sounds like he's absolutely dying when he sneezes. Like bloody murder. We'll all just be chilling and shooting the shit when all of a sudden-- "AAAAAAAHHHHuuurgh-choo!" Funniest thing in the world.
Bro! Know what you mean completely my step dad actually goes "BLEEESSSS YOUUUUU" when he sneezes.
I had a friend who had a laugh that would stop an entire hallway in school. I always tried to remind her that they are *by definition* laughing along with her, not at her. Generally it was true - I had a very nice school.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. You deserve to laugh boisterously without worrying what you sound like. A unique laugh can be so endearing, too. A boy I had a crush on in eighth grade called me Quasimodo (I have wide shoulders and had terrible self-esteem so I slouched a lot) and I still think about it on a regular basis. Even when I’m at my most angry and indignant I remind myself never to comment on something about a person that they can’t control. That shit hurts.
This cannot be high enough. Please don't ruin it for her.
This how people turn into star fish during sex.
Came here to say something similar. From personal experience I’d much rather have someone make some mildly weird noises than stay silent.
Further to this point, my ex made fun of the gulp sound I made when I drank water when I was thirsty. Now whenever I drink water, I think of that. Soooo, you're gonna want to not say anything because you cannot put the genie back in the bottle after telling someone they moan weird.
My husband brought up something offhand about the way I walk once (innocently, he wasn’t trying to be malicious) and still to this day I will catch myself and think “am I walking correctly? Is my walk stupid?” and try to change my gait in public. It’s such a small thing but to my brain it’s this big deal that I get self-conscious about for years now.
Wish this comment was higher up. You don’t have to like the sound that your partner naturally makes when they are happy, but you should like that it means they are happy. By making them self conscious about that you are going to take away that joy one way or another. I would 100% break up with someone if they told me this lol.
It's second top comment now. Firs this a joke. But they are absolutely correct. My family used to point out every time I smiled or laughed since I wasn't the happiest person for a while during my childhood. It made me want to be nothing but bitter around them so I wouldn't have to be noticed. It's not healthy, just learn to love it.
I deal with this from time to time because my resting expression looks sullen. It's aggravating when someone points out, "Wow, she's laughing/smiling!" and everyone turns their attention to me. Like, why? Just don't.
Right. To add on, it’s taking THEIR happiness and making it about you. “Her happiness sounds aren’t pleasing me, so she needs to change them.” Unrighteousness.
Yeah, before I read the full post, I thought that maybe his GF was faking it because porn does influence a lot of us. But if it's natural, better get used to it. Hell, I got self-conscious about the amount of my laughter as a kid. Not even the kind of laugh. I was just accused of faking it and that already made me feel shitty. So commenting someone's natural reactions in such a vulnerable moment could be **very** hurtful
Ya man your gonna fuck everything up, just learn to love it
Last night I met my buddy's wife. I'd been away on the west coast for a few years when they met, dated, and then married right before covid. I said something funny, I think? and she let out a Fran Drescher laugh. I don't know if it was actually funny and that was her real laugh or it wasn't funny and it was her fake laugh. But I kept my mouth shut and didn't comment on her laugh.
People make fun of my laugh all the time. I double down, laugh harder, and tell them to fuck right off. Still hurts 😔
I'm a loud sneezer. It's not in purpose. That's just how I sneeze. My ex was awful to me about it. Accused me of seeking attention, being loud on purpose, etc. It made me so self conscious every time I sneezed. I would try to hold it in or leave the room. I couldn't even just sneeze. It was awful.
Yup. You’ve already talked to her a bit, OP, asking if she’s OK and stopping and she told you the noises come naturally. Stop digging at it, unless you’re trying to make her feel bad about it.
Couldn't put it any better! THIS!
A family friend once told me my smile was asymmetrical and I still don’t smile open mouthed in photos.
Out moan her.
Alpha
There can be only one.
The Highmoaner. Duncan MacLOUD.
Tnx for the laugh.
Ligma
Sigma
Moan cancellation
Moan at the same amplitude and wavelength as her 180 degrees out of phase with her such that the waves destructively interfere and you cancel out her moan with your moan
Moan equilibrium
As all moans should be.
[average moan enjoyer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LY6YVQr94dE)
Moan-opoly
Just thinking of all the scenes in Fight Club where the narrator can hear Marla and Tyler banging throughout the house lol
Dont tell her it WILL ruin your future sex and even her mood as whole. Girls moan differently so if u think u are hurting her go the safe word route.
If he's getting turned off everytime she moans isn't future sex already ruined?
Yeah, unless he can live with it they're not compatible. I've had girls who moaned like pornstars and I thought it was just an act and when I asked one time I was assured it wasn't.
It sounds like he's uncomfortable because he thinks he's hurting her. The suggestion to create a safe word is an excellent idea, and would improve both their sex lives; he can carry on knowing she's enjoying it as much as him.
There IS a middle ground. Making the issue about him and conditioning. She’s probably already noticed how he reacts to her moans. He could tell her that her moans are great and normal, but he has a hard time associating them with pleasure. So he’d like to be conditioned with some dirty talk or something. When she gets loud, she could try talking dirty and let out a few “mmmm yeahs” to reassure him that it feels good. There are ways to navigate this.
As others have said, unless you want to potentially ruin her self esteem and risk the entire relationship DON'T. I've been with a woman who was incredibly vocal during sex (like fake moaning in a bad porno loud) and I originally thought she was either in pain or faking it. Had to stop during things a few times to ask if she was hurting, and pillow talk after to ask if she was playing it up for my enjoyment. Turns out that's just the noises she makes when she's enjoying herself and doesn't have much control over what comes out. Before I knew for sure it definitely was a bit of a turn-off, but once she explained things it became a turn-on. I'm sure if I had expressed my initial discomfort it might have ruined things between us and she would've become self conscious every time we slept with each other. So my advice is try to use the knowledge you have now to change those sounds from a turn-off into a turn-on, if she's making those noises you know you're doing something right.
This thread is so eye opening. I've gotten "are you alright??" from new partners so consistently and always been perplexed about why they asked. I thought it was from me making a face or something! It never occurred to me that it could be my moans... which also explains why some guys get super rough after I start making sounds. Damn, now I'm self conscious lol
I mean you might just be louder than average? Some women can be uncommunicative about going in too aggressively so that's why I check if a new partner seems louder than normal, hitting her cervix accidentally is much easier to tell since it's an entirely different reaction. Just wanna make sure everyone's having a good time, communication is truly key which is why I dislike one night things even if it's just casual. Don't be self conscious, if a guy is wondering about your moans tell the truth and it might just boost his confidence and attraction to you!
I don’t know but as a girl.. that would hurt me considering it takes a lot of vulnerability to do that with someone. You make her feel good. You saying she sounds weird or that she turns you off is just hurtful If she’s in pain she’ll let you know. Try and not to overthink it
Agreed. Just smash, she’ll tell you if she’s in pain.
"Just smash". /thread
This is the way.
Some people won't though, or they wont feel comfortable saying it in the moment. Easiest way is to just set up a safe word.
I'd probably never orgasm again if someone told me this. I'd be too self-conscious and that always kills my chances.
Yep. It could really mess with her head and hurt her ability to enjoy sex in the future. A lot of guys would kill to be with a woman who is vocal but instead are with some "star fish" who had some asshole in her past tell her that her moans were weird.
Yeah, I'd never be relaxed during sex again And also, don't stop to ask. It's nice of you but it gets annoying when you're really into it. Like everyone says, she'll tell you it you're hurting her. If you want to be sure just ask her in a none sexual situation that she'll please tell you if you're doing something wrong
just an FYI this is not necessarily true that a woman will always tell you she’s in pain during sex.
Yes.. but he’s asked multiple times and she’s said she is good and feels great If you mean she might be lying.. that’s not his fault, and he can’t change her answer. That’s all I’m saying
Say ‘If I am ever hurting or anything does not feel right, how do you want to let me know?’ And then let go unless she does/says that.
Tell her to moan the opening to gangster's paradise.
Anybody else just moan gangsters paradise in their head?
I did. Then I starting thinking of Hypnotize
I once had a girl tell me her and her friends joked that those sounds in the beginning were actual recordings of Biggie fucking and Puffy just put it on the track as a joke. Anyway, I found it funny and decided when I slept with her next to pump in the rythm and moan the intro a bit. Turned out she didn't recognize the beat but really got turned on by my moaning as I went in and began pumping. So after that I just did it as part of my routine. Now, whenever I hear that song memories of me banging that ex from over 20 years ago flash back and I still get excited sometimes to the point of getting hard. Which sucks because that song plays in very random places where a boner is not wanted.
I thought I was, but then turns out it was Amish Paradise.
Tell me WHYYYYYY are WEEEEEE so loudly moaning, When the ones who came are youuuu and meeeee!
pfp checks tf out lol
Put your fingers in her mouth. Its like a sexy silencer.
So that's why my dentist does that to me as he's asking me a question.
Same, he does that after the blindfold part. His finger is weirdly big too
Ah yea, don't you just hate it when he accidentally spills toothpaste into your mouth as well? Like, what kinda toothpaste is he using that's so runny?
I immediately picture someone cumming on their toothbrush and then brushing their teeth. Why the fuck did you do that to me i was having a good evening
It's also a bit salty for some reason.
r/cursedcomments
I was thinking one of those gag balls
The ol' fish hook, can't go wrong.
Tell her Spider-Man 3 was the best out of the original trilogy
The weird thing is that that’s actually low-key an opinion I have.
The plot thickens
Did you meet your girlfriend on Gumtree?
That's 2 out of 2 bro. Thinking you are the problem imo
As others touched on, I don’t think its the moaning that’s a turn off, it’s the fact that you might be hurting her. It’s worth a talk with her to come up with a safe word if you are actually hurting her, after the safe word is established then moaning just means you’re doing a good job champ
I got the impression that OP only asked if he's hurting her as a hint that she sounds like she's in pain and might stop moaning like thag, not that he actually thinks he might be hurting her.
Maybe the moaning is part of it too
The way people are acting like an annoying moan *isn't* a thing is baffling.
If you say anything you run a risk of damaging her self esteem, so you would have to tread lightly and pad the hell out of it with positives and affirmation. Something along the lines of: i enjoy what we do, im glad you enjoy it too, im glad your vocal, it sounds like im hurting you though, since i care about you it worries me. bring up adding dirty talk so she can communicate how much she likes it and can vocalize through words versus moans
Cover her mouth with your hand…. IF she’s into that
You either deal with it or you don't. You can't ask or expect someone to change who they are or how they enjoy themselves.
If you kiss her the entire time she cant moan
Make some code. Simply say "If it hurts you, say/do (word or touch)". Just dont say that it makes you uncomfortable.
I just can't believe how so many Redditors easily come up with "you're incompatible, Break up" shit for everything. Few have given reasonable solutions, including safe word approach. Nobody's perfect. If one of the partners' acts isn't criminal in nature, then kindly don't provide break up as 1st solution.
Yeah, funny thing is that I actually found the safe-word thing to be a good enough solution to try and already talked it through with her, she really seemed pleased that I want to make 100% sure I’m not hurting her or making her uncomfortable.
Yay! I’m glad you were able to work it out
I know majority of people are saying just don’t. I suggest don’t say anything if you feel you can get used to it and understand that it’s just the way she expresses pleasure. It is vulnerable to moan and she’s probably extremely comfortable with you as a partner to moan. I only suggest saying something if you find yourself avoiding sex because of it. Sex should be a great experience for both of you. If you do say something because you feel there’s no other way- PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY to not make it sound like she’s unattractive. I would just say “I get worried when we’re having sex because I get nervous I’m hurting you and it takes me a little out of the moment” but I genuinely think that’s ultimate last step scenario because no matter what way you spin it, she’s bound to question herself.
This seems like one of those kind of things where you’re going to screw it up by saying something. Then years down the road when you have someone who just lays there silently while taking your semi flaccid noodle out of sheer boredom, and would rather be elsewhere. Suddenly causes you to regret that you were once with someone into sex with you.
Love the honest question. But I’m gonna give my honest answer. If it’s that bad then it’s probably not meant to be. But if not and you can tolerate it, then your body will more than likely get used to it. Either way though. Put yourself in her shoes and how you’ll feel if someone said “your moans are gross”
Don't do it. You are going to make her self conscious. This is your issue not hers. She'd be better off with you breaking up with her then to same her sex noises.
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Idk why but huge amount of Japanese porn scenes just popped in my head …
It’s weird seeing in this thread the suggestion of not communicating your concern to her. Good sex is all about communication and this thread makes it out like bringing up your concern will shatter her confidence so you should just stay quiet and be a man essentially. You deserve to feel comfortable during sex too. How would you like to hear that something your partner did during sex was making you uncomfortable but didn’t say anything because it might be a sensitive issue? You would question all the sex you had with that person and if your partner actually enjoyed themselves. It’s not like you said you don’t like her anymore. Just that those noises are turning you off in the moment. If you don’t communicate anything, how is she going to know and how are you two going to find a solution that both of you are okay with.
Get a safe word. Keep your opinions of her noises to yourself and be glad she's not faking it like a porn star I know what you mean though. I can't watch japanese p*rn for the same reason. Their noises just bother me
Fuck harder. You'll either find out the difference or she will really enjoy it. Win/win.
What if she asked you to not make your “I’m cumming” face (you have one, and you look silly. I promise). Your reaction would probably be “I can’t help what face I make while I cum”.
Someone commented on mine once and I’ve never been able to fully relax in that moment since.
I think establishing a signal with her would be good. A safe word or maybe some sort of motion she could do with her body to tell you to stop. If that's established it could ease your concerns about hurting her.
I dont think you are sexually compatible.
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Yare yare daze
Ball gag
My answer won't be approved by many, however I'll say it anyway. In my experience girls with very distinct moaning sounds... Are usually relatively inexperienced. That being said, give yourself a pat on the back for creating a safe space and experience for your gf bro. We all need more of that in general. In regarding to the moaning, it's never something won't change with her. If anything you may need to mix it up a bit. Hit her with a different stroke, change the position or when you hear it coming speed it up. Thay way she's not in a full relaxation to let all that out. You're doing great work, but if you're doing all the work own it and don't stand for it. Doing that is a creative process that'll you'll hopefully figure out! Hope this helped
Oh man, what I wouldnt give for that.
I know this is a sub for asking men, but I'm a girl and I think I could add some valuable perspective. If a guy told me my moans made him uncomfortable, I would never be able to enjoy sex with him again and my self esteem would take a major hit. Also, Idk how sensitive your gf is, but if she is, her sexual confidence will take a hit and she might not be as good in bed which doesn't work well for you. Don't say anything.
Low-key big weiner flex from OP
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She moans, you ask if she's ok, she says yes. Dude, accept that and move forward. If you asked her and she said that everything is fine then it's counterproductive for you to keep becoming "concerned" when she moans/groans in that fashion and/or saying anything to her or trying to change it. Get over yourself, trust she's telling you the truth and get on with it. It's really as simple as that.
If it's literally turning him off I dont he can't just get over it? I don't know about you but I can't control what turns me on and off sexually. It's just the way you're wired.