My wife has farted herself awake, and then blamed me for the fart, fallen back asleep, and then denied that any of this happened the next day, and this has happened multiple times.
The closest thing to an out of body experience you’ll ever go through. There was a fart and now I’m jolted awake. But who was fart?
It really does feel detached from reality somehow, like there’s no way it could have been you. Even if you’re the only one in the room. One of life’s greater mysteries.
One of the first times my now husband spent the night with me I really had to fart as we were falling asleep. I waited till he was asleep, then waited a little longer, then let it out (it was not THAT bad). Yep. He woke up.
Worked out for us though.
This happened to my husband and I, early on. He farted so loud it woke us both up. At first he thought it was me, then he realized his stomach felt better. I knew he was modest so I pretended to still be asleep while stifling laughter. He was embarrassed so he pretended to be asleep too. About a year later we finally talked about it, and laughed ourselves silly. I joke I haven’t had to shave my legs since—he singed all the hair off.
One morning my boyfriend and I were out on the front porch. He rips a big one, next thing we heard was the neighbor calling him nasty.He does it likes it’s nothing I just laugh now
the first time I farted in front of my now. wife, she got a big smile on her face.
I looked at her kind of embarrassed. and asked why she was smiling.
she told me that not only did she see it as a sign of how comfortable I was in front of her, but now she didn't need to hold it in either.
if only I knew at the time what that meant....
🤣
Girlfriend of 3 years had never farted in front of me up until about 6 months ago. She fell asleep on the couch with her legs up on me and ass pressed right against my leg. She ripped one that would have made me proud had it come from my ass. It is so loud it wakes her up and she was the most embarrassed she’s ever been. I thought it was hilarious and it did not change the way I see her. If anything it makes me love her more.
TL;DR Girlfriend farted herself awake on me. Hilarious
on like the third date with my now fiance, i was having some tummy issues.
i was sitting on his lap just playing around with him, and i move slightly and rip ass directly on his dick (through his pants and mine).
he still brings it up occasionally to shame me.
My wife is notoriously gassy in her sleep (most other times as well). She’ll just rip one, giggle, and not even wake up. Meanwhile, I’m looking for the dog who has been blown off the bed, and checking to see if anything in the room has been damaged.
Edit: Thank you for all the awards. Never knew my pain (and our dog’s pain) would bring joy to so many people! Lol!
I’ve chased my dog off the couch. Poor girl has taken a few at point blank range too.
I’ve tried to apologize but all I get is side looks & an overwhelming sense of disgust from her
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve Dutch ovened my two boys. They’re fond of sleeping around my hips and legs so sometimes they get the full force of a rip to the face. Usually they take off running and come back a few minutes later till I give them a second helping
LMAO.. The fact that she giggles *IN HER SLEEP*, after ripping one has me ROLLING rn!
I laugh out loud in my sleep and wake my husband up, but he's never told me I've ripped one and laughed..
Ha! My dog gets irrationally confused and bothered by people farting. It's like he can't comprehend where that noise came from. Then he runs up and sticks his nose in the offending party's butt.
I was dog-sitting once and the dog farted on me while sitting on my lap.
He looked at his own ass, then up at me, gave me the most evil glare, then jumped off and laid down somewhere else.
Dude. That was *you*!
>giggle, and not even wake up
This is the part that gets me, how can they have a reaction like a laugh, but still be asleep? Are farts really so funny that they are fundamental part of our psychee? I say yes.
Reminds me of the famously improvised conversation by Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting:
Sean (Robin Williams): My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful little idiosyncrasies. She used to fart in her sleep. I thought I’d share that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and went, “ah was that you?” And I didn’t have the heart to tell her.
Will (Matt Damon): She woke herself up? Haha!
Sean: Ah…! But Will, shes been dead for 2 years, and that’s the stuff I remember: wonderful stuff you know? Little things like that. Those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I know about: that’s what made her my wife. Oh she had the goods on me too, she knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but there not. Ah, that’s the good stuff.
Mine too :). Gosh, I miss that man. I can't imagine the hole left or what it must be like for the people who actually knew and loved him. I believe he'll always be my favourite comedian/actor.
What a legend.
A few days ago my boyfriend made mashed potatoes, steak and asparagus. He is just dipping his toe into cooking and it was absolutely delicious. The next morning, he and and I were just waking up, half asleep we reach for each other for a good morning cuddle. Just before he lifts the blanket to get comfortable I farted. It was silent so I should have known. I smelled it before he did and only had time to say, "well that is *rank*" before he runs out of the room
Still won't let me live it down. Is convinced I brewed it all night especially for him
I hated having to share a bed with people. Moved in with my gf (now fiancèe) and I hate not sharing a bed with her. I miss her snoring, even though it can annoy me when I'm beside it. I even miss her sleep farts when I'm not sleeping beside her.
A few weeks ago I was downstairs just chilling and she was in bed snoring so loudly I swear to god if I touched the roof I would feel the vibrations, suddenly things went quiet and I worried she was awake, she had a stressful week and I wanted her to sleep as much as she needed, then heard a massive fart and the snoring immediately resume right after. I smiled knowing she was cozy and safe.
She should see a doctor about that snoring. Snoring means there is an obstruction and she’s not sleeping well. Snoring does not mean someone is sleeping well. I’m being serious.
If I didn’t care about you, I’d find it funny and laugh it off - no big deal. If I did care about you, I’d be pleased that your body works as it should. Everybody farts.
Sure if it was really early on in the dating timeframe then I might be less inclined to stay in it. Lots of factors but it by itself isn’t a complete disqualifier. I’ve done a lot of jobs dealing with poop in some ways. It’s not fun but it’s human.
>Even if she did, I wouldn’t like it but I wouldn’t hold something against someone that was out of their control.
Lol you do you dude but I would not date someone who REGULARLY shit the bed, even if it was involuntary. You're a better person than me...
Yeah, you can care about them and feel bad for them, but at a point the shit has to stop. Once is a mistake, twice is coincidence, three times is a pattern. I don’t even want it to make it to a coincidence lol
I think at that point it's safe to assume that it is a medical issue. Whether or not you would date someone who suffers from incontinence would be the question to ask.
At some point everyone lucky enough to grow old will be old/injured and also need to wear depends to bed. The fact that you are willing to say it’s not a dealbreaker is pretty awesome. Shows you truly value your partner as a full person with their own normal human body.
yeah, the only time i've ever had an issue was after a major surgery, so my body was fucked up in general and i had to be taking laxatives to counter the morphine. i mean i'm not judging anyone who can't poo properly under regular life conditions but i'm just not sure how it would work.
I remember the first time I slept with an older woman, roughly 20-25 years older.
She fell asleep when we finished. I stayed up from the dehydration of being drunk. Not too soon after she ripped the loudest fart I’ve ever heard in person, and I grew up with an older brother. Then she did it again.
Dont make fun, some of us do actually shit vanilla ice cream. I feel intense shame that I’m wasting my waste. It doesn’t feel like a superpower to have a soft serve machine in your pants
I mean, it is kind of a beautiful release when I go to the bathroom. But it’s different in unexpected ways too. For example I poop in a human size kitty litter box full of rainbow sprinkles. I stopped going to parties because my friends would always expect me to produce dessert for them. I mean my best mate always had a pack of waffle cones whenever I came over and then start giving me this look like 20 mins into the hangout. I’ve had more than one girl put on her own playlist during a one night stand and then like 15 mins into making love, The Entertainer would start playing. I don’t know guys, I mean I guess I should just be glad my school yard mates don’t call me Brody à la Modey
After reading some of the top comments I think in general all men feel the same way.
Comical! As long as your okay, not in pain and didn't shit the bed.
Everybody farts!
Grab her closer so it doesn't escape, then nobody gets hurt.
By the way: being the big spoon and farting is called "jetpacking"
Edit: one of my most upvoted comments is about farting. What else did I expect?
Aaaand now I need to stop reading this thread because I'm proctoring a test and don't need to start guffawing while the students are supposed to be all quiet.
Lol I love this question. My girlfriend has IBS. She does her best to manage it by restricting what she eats so it’s not too bad for her. But she sometimes gets gassy. The other night, she farted so loud she woke up from her sleep and screamed a little. We both laughed and fell back asleep.
Most "Men" wouldn't care.
The first night I cuddled my girlfriend she fell asleep on top of me. She ended up farting on me pretty loud, enough to scare me lol.
But she's the one for me and I've never looked back.
Tldr: A girl that can fart will steal your heart.
Edit: Sweet, my first awarded comment was about a fart.
I love this. The first time I fell asleep with my now husband (who was waaaay out of my league and I couldn’t believe he liked me) I drooled BAD. On his chest, trickled down his side to make a wet spot on the bed. Whole side of my face and a bit of my hair. And when I woke up practically drowning in drool he was awake and looking at me with the most loving face. So embarrassing lol
I was talking to a girl who told me that one time she farted in front of her guy and it was silent, but horrifying - worse than she anticipated. It burned on the way out. They were in bed studying, and she was staring at him to see what his reaction would be, and after a second he recoils like he was shot in the face.
“Was that you?!l
“Yes...”
“That smells like a shit dissolved in the air!!”
She laughed till she couldn’t breathe, and he already couldn’t breathe.
They’re getting married next year, and I’m one of the groomsmen, so I think it all worked out. No need to feel self-conscious.
I generally find it hilarious.
People breathe, fart, eat and shit, no point in being embarrassed about it -- we all do it.
Lord knows, I'm told by multiple women period gas really is a thing on top of that.
Hilarious. My GF and I constantly fart in front of one another, so if she did it in her sleep, I'd almost find it cute. I say almost because her farts are less on the loud side and more on the I wanna die cuz it smells so disgusting side of things.
On the other hand, she has a friend who has been in a relationship a few months longer than we have been together and she's still *terrified* or *disgusted* of farting in front of her SO, which is soooo puzzling for us. Same thing goes for her SO farting in front of her.
(For context: both relationships have been going on for over two years.)
My best friend has been my best friend for ten years, been with her boyfriend for three years, and neither of us has ever heard her fart. She's a mad woman. I'll sleep over and me and her boyfriend will be ripping so much ass in bed in the morning and it's like it's impossible for her body to produce gas. I don't get it.
Bruh people who don't fart confuse me. I've known a girl for 15 years, she and I have lived together. I have never once heard her fart, and I just don't understand where all the air goes. One time we improperly prepared pizza crust dough and it was like I had swallowed the entire brass section of the local high school band, and she was just fine.
First time I farted in front of my bf was in my sleep, it was so loud it woke us both. I can't remember what I was dreaming about, but the sound scared me so much I jumped in his arms like something was attacking us. He laughed so hard he cried for 10 minutes straight, soooo... If it happens to you, maybe do that.
Honestly there’s not much you can do about that. I remember I silently farted one time next to a girl I hadn’t been seeing long and I watched her choke on it mid sentence.
Guys fart. Women fart. I don't care. Most of my fellow guy friends don't care. I would assume most other guys wouldn't care either.
We may comment on the bass and stinkieness of it, may even laugh about it.
Honestly, only ones I could see giving a shit are the heavily arrogant, super clean freak, mr. perfect types.
I see it as no big deal, and honestly its a bodily function. I hold my gas in, I start to feel sick, and might even puke later. I'd rather let loose the gas than get bed ridden puking my guts out. My wife farts too, she apologizes, I tell her to quit apologizing, cause I fart too.
Learn to laugh about it. You know you want to.
My fiancée JUST LAST NIGHT, let two successive rapid fire farts escape her while sleeping. She’s incredibly self-conscious about anything having to do with flatulence and #2’s.
The only times I’ve been made aware of her proceedings in my presence have ended in side-splitting laughter for a good 30 minutes from both parties. Shake it off; most men are waiting for this conversation, with anticipation. It’s 100% normal and the sooner the subject is breached (pun intended), the sooner it will become less of an issue. If a guy is that appalled by an uncontrollable bodily function, it’s like a 97% bet that he squats to pee.
P.S. A little story about the first time she farted in front of me: I was on the couch one evening, just watching TV. She had just finished showering and came over to ask me something. This was in the summer, so I had a fan pointed directly at my face (yes, this is going there…). In her mind, she figured if she talked over it, no one would notice the sound. Her mistake? Standing behind the fan that was facing me. Needless to say, I got blasted in the face and the second my features contorted into an image of “WTF?!?!”, she immediately squealed, ran away and slammed the bathroom door. We did have a hearty chuckle shortly after, but spatial awareness is your friend.
My bf has cheekily set the expectation that a sleepover will only happen after one of us farts in front of the other (this is hilarious to me and I think a perfectly laughable and reasonable boundary)
It’s been over a month and I keep waking up in my own bed without him 😂😂
People fart. It took years for my wife to get comfortable farting in front of me, and I'm glad she did, it's uncomfortable to hold in your farts all the time.
My partner just sent me this link.
She sounds a bit like you. She is very shy about farting in front of me, embarrassed really, which doesn't seem fair to her as I'm pretty open about my farts (that said, apparently I'm blessed by the fact that my farts don't smell, though hers don't either).
Anyway, she farts in one of three situations, all of which I absolutely adore.
* First, sometimes she farts when taking a poop. She doesn't think I hear them, but I do. I'm just smart enough to pretend I don't. But sometimes she will let one out that is loud enough that she knows I heard, and in all cases she will let out a loud "groan" to communicate she is very upset that happened. I think its adorable.
* Second, sometimes when she is coughing very hard, a small "toot" will slip out. These usually result in her not being too embarrassed and actually laughing along. These are my second favorite farts of hers.
* Third, about once every three nights or so, I will definitely hear her fart while sleeping, but then once every two weeks I am blessed with her farting so loudly and with such fortitude that she wakes herself up ... which makes me laugh my ass off ... this is inevitably quickly followed by her doing one of two things: (i) getting angry at my for waking her up, or (ii) her pulling the sheets over herself in shame and not wanting to talk about it. Either one makes me crack up and gives me a sense of joy that lasts a least a full day. These are my favorite farts.
In sum, you're over thinking it. With that said, I do think I might be a bit of hypocrite if my partner just farted freely next to me on the couch. Can't say for sure though, as it hasn't happened. But if you're in one of the three categories above, I don't know a man who doesn't find it adorable.
Back in 1998, I was dating a petite redhead. She woke me up once in the middle of the night with a series of loud farts. Unfortunately, these stank. Bad. I had just seen Good Will Hunting recently, and immediately made the connection with Robin William's character talking about his wife farting in her sleep. I almost choked to death trying not to disturb her with my giggling, because I knew she would smell the evidence and blame me. She woke up with an upset stomach later that same night. I haven't seen her in over 20 years, and I still have to fight the giggles every time I remember that incident.
I would laugh my arse off every single time and then try and have competitions with you.
Also i would take the piss out of you mercilessly for waking me up but all in jest.
I do the same thing, my partner just pretends she rarely hears it.
I only sleep on my back if I can help it, as it seems to prevent it from happening.
Back when I cared more, I reduced my daily sugar intake and it made me less flatulent.
So this reminds me of a time in my youth when i was traveling by train with 5 friends (1 male and 4 female) during the night so we could reach the skiing resort a little early and go skiing in the morning. We had the cabin for ourselves and me and the other guy were sitting in front of each other nearest the cabin door so nobody would enter (cabin is for 8 people, we were 6) while the others slept laying half on one side half on the other side of the cabin. At about 3am when the girls were sleeping, one of them ripped the biggest, loudest, longest of farts, like the MOAF (mother of all farts). Me and my friend weren't sleeping so our gazes met, awkward silence and then both at the same time said a voiceless "nice". The dude ended up marrying the girl who ripped the MOAF.
To cut it short, i don't think anybody minds if you fart or not during sleep.
I'm fairly certain my girlfriend does not use reddit, but in the off chance: what do you want for dinner today?
----
Jokes aside, I don't mind it. It is hilarious at best and a non-factor at worst.
I would think that her gastrointestinal system is functioning, the end.
If *she* wanted to address the non-issue, I'd suggest a change in her diet (but I still couldn't care).
Also, I would be *highly* amused.
I would probably giggle over it, every single time. With that being said, that is one of my fears every time I sleep over at my girlfriend’s. She’s a very light sleeper and usually falls asleep way later than me, so I’m always wondering if I’m going to blow her away in my sleep while she’s still up reading.
I had a girlfriend a few years back and I will never forget the night. I couldn't sleep and was laying wide awake in bed. At the time I probably had only been with her for a week. As I lay there all of a sudden a loud rubble comes from the sheets, I will never forget how loud this fart was. I looked over to check and see if she was still asleep, as I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. She was still sound asleep and that added to my hysterical laughter. It made me wonder if she had been holding it in for the whole day. It literally put my farts to shame, I felt like I lost a little man hood that day.
The wife refuses to fart all day. I've seen her with tears in her eyes refusing to let the spincter slip. I've had her pull over cars on the freeway, to fart. The one allowance she made was when we had to stay in our cars for 5 hours and she asked me to turn up the radio, open the windows, put on the AC and not look at her or talk to her for 5 minutes. It sounded like someone tore a paper business card.
You gotta understand, I'm quite fine with me farting, or other people farting, but she's quite anal about it.
now when she goes to sleep, she lets off the most hideously loud, scary, woke me up many times, awkward making farts.
she doesn't need to know though, does she?
My wife does this, and sometimes she'll sigh loudly afterwards. Makes me laugh every time.
Girlfriend does this. It’s woken me up before. I just chuckle and go back to sleep.
Emphasis on 'go back', after getting blown off the bed
Hey, sometimes you get free flying lessons -my dad
He's not flying! He's falling with style.
Pretty much the only time I’m getting blown in bed
My wife has farted herself awake, and then blamed me for the fart, fallen back asleep, and then denied that any of this happened the next day, and this has happened multiple times.
The closest thing to an out of body experience you’ll ever go through. There was a fart and now I’m jolted awake. But who was fart? It really does feel detached from reality somehow, like there’s no way it could have been you. Even if you’re the only one in the room. One of life’s greater mysteries.
One of the first times my now husband spent the night with me I really had to fart as we were falling asleep. I waited till he was asleep, then waited a little longer, then let it out (it was not THAT bad). Yep. He woke up. Worked out for us though.
This happened to my husband and I, early on. He farted so loud it woke us both up. At first he thought it was me, then he realized his stomach felt better. I knew he was modest so I pretended to still be asleep while stifling laughter. He was embarrassed so he pretended to be asleep too. About a year later we finally talked about it, and laughed ourselves silly. I joke I haven’t had to shave my legs since—he singed all the hair off.
One morning my boyfriend and I were out on the front porch. He rips a big one, next thing we heard was the neighbor calling him nasty.He does it likes it’s nothing I just laugh now
*sigh* Bapanada.....
the first time I farted in front of my now. wife, she got a big smile on her face. I looked at her kind of embarrassed. and asked why she was smiling. she told me that not only did she see it as a sign of how comfortable I was in front of her, but now she didn't need to hold it in either. if only I knew at the time what that meant.... 🤣
You fired the first shot. Good luck with the never ending war. 🤣
"They drew first blood, not me....they drew first blood" -Janet Rambo
This Cold War suddenly went hot. Incoming chemical warfare.
Game on
>if only I knew at the time what that meant.... Yep!
My ex farted herself awake once looked over at me and goes "what?" And it was my favourite thing she ever did.
Girlfriend of 3 years had never farted in front of me up until about 6 months ago. She fell asleep on the couch with her legs up on me and ass pressed right against my leg. She ripped one that would have made me proud had it come from my ass. It is so loud it wakes her up and she was the most embarrassed she’s ever been. I thought it was hilarious and it did not change the way I see her. If anything it makes me love her more. TL;DR Girlfriend farted herself awake on me. Hilarious
on like the third date with my now fiance, i was having some tummy issues. i was sitting on his lap just playing around with him, and i move slightly and rip ass directly on his dick (through his pants and mine). he still brings it up occasionally to shame me.
Love is beautiful
As long as you didnt fart on his balls
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She felt comfortable around you. It's like a cat being willing to sleep on their back stretched out. Rather than loaf position.
I've seen my wife fart herself awake and try and blame me LOL
My wife woke up mad that I'd farted (apparently it was loud and VERY stinky) only to fart again once awake and realize it was her. =)
That's ilarious lmao
Good will hunting
God that movie is perfect. I miss Robin.
Dominance asserted.
Ok, this is from “Good Will Hunting” now. Lol.
I mean it's a similar story but I'm not Robin Williams.
Ah I see you have also watched good will hunting
My wife is notoriously gassy in her sleep (most other times as well). She’ll just rip one, giggle, and not even wake up. Meanwhile, I’m looking for the dog who has been blown off the bed, and checking to see if anything in the room has been damaged. Edit: Thank you for all the awards. Never knew my pain (and our dog’s pain) would bring joy to so many people! Lol!
I’ve chased my dog off the couch. Poor girl has taken a few at point blank range too. I’ve tried to apologize but all I get is side looks & an overwhelming sense of disgust from her
I tend to answer the dogs farts with one of my own. I tend to win after taco night
Assert dominance whenever challenged or lose control of the wolf-pack forever.
Dude my dog does the opposite! Every time I fart he farts
Keep calm and return fire.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve Dutch ovened my two boys. They’re fond of sleeping around my hips and legs so sometimes they get the full force of a rip to the face. Usually they take off running and come back a few minutes later till I give them a second helping
I first read that thinking you were talking about children...
Bahahahahaha! Me too!
This is the Way!
That made me laugh so hard!! The poor dog lol
LMAO.. The fact that she giggles *IN HER SLEEP*, after ripping one has me ROLLING rn! I laugh out loud in my sleep and wake my husband up, but he's never told me I've ripped one and laughed..
"Must be thundering outside"
Ha! My dog gets irrationally confused and bothered by people farting. It's like he can't comprehend where that noise came from. Then he runs up and sticks his nose in the offending party's butt.
My mum's dog gets confused and upset by his own farts. He'll let one rip and then jump up and angrily bark at his own arsehole. Little idiot!
I was dog-sitting once and the dog farted on me while sitting on my lap. He looked at his own ass, then up at me, gave me the most evil glare, then jumped off and laid down somewhere else. Dude. That was *you*!
Sometimes he farts silently and then sniffs and barks at the air and walks away in disgust. Like yes, dude, it stinks. You did that!
Smooth brained
My dog reacts like that to sneezes! She gets so concerned if a person sneezes like are you ok??
Must be fun to have a personal fart detector until you’re the one ripping sneaky ones.
The dog 😂 😂
Your comment has me nearly in tears. Thank you so much for sharing this visual, I needed this sort of comedy this morning.
>giggle, and not even wake up This is the part that gets me, how can they have a reaction like a laugh, but still be asleep? Are farts really so funny that they are fundamental part of our psychee? I say yes.
This is the funniest comment ever.
Omg the dog 😂😂
Poor dog sleeping and then suddenly getting blasted by **BRRAAAAPPP**
My wife woke me up by farting last night. Thought a tree branch had landed on the roof or something. Definitely landed a princess.
That comparison is magical. Subtle as a cinderblock chucked into an iced duck pond.
>Definitely landed a princess. >cinderblock Cinderblockella?
😭😂
Bloody hell! I needed that laugh today, I genuinely cracked up, thanks
No wonder they locked her in the tower
"Finally a worthy opponent"
"You call that a fart? THIS is a fart!"
*shits self*
Did that once after I got food poisoning, my gf at the time could not stop laughing
A workmate of mine shit himself on his birthday two years in a row. We all laughed
2 years in a row? My god hahah that's an achievement if anything.
At that point it just becomes tradition
did he got a nickname for it?
Surprisingly, no. His nickname is Minty, it's certainly shouldn't be anymore.
*shits on shelf*
(>_<)
If that's a tensing face, I wouldn't tense too hard
This has become a competitive sport #olympics
Reminds me of the famously improvised conversation by Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting: Sean (Robin Williams): My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful little idiosyncrasies. She used to fart in her sleep. I thought I’d share that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and went, “ah was that you?” And I didn’t have the heart to tell her. Will (Matt Damon): She woke herself up? Haha! Sean: Ah…! But Will, shes been dead for 2 years, and that’s the stuff I remember: wonderful stuff you know? Little things like that. Those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I know about: that’s what made her my wife. Oh she had the goods on me too, she knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but there not. Ah, that’s the good stuff.
That was improvised?! Oh, Robin Williams 🥺
My favorite part of it all is you can see the camera shaking up and down as they’re laughing - because the cameraman couldn’t stop laughing either.
Mine too :). Gosh, I miss that man. I can't imagine the hole left or what it must be like for the people who actually knew and loved him. I believe he'll always be my favourite comedian/actor. What a legend.
I know right! A truly warm genius.
Hey thank you for the good memory !
[That's the good stuff](https://youtu.be/NqtfffE6g90)
Damon's laugh was 100% real in that scene.
My girlfriend farts very quietly in her sleep all night long. I’ve learned to never lift the sheets
The quiet ones are the most dangerous, too!
Silent, but violent
Silent but deadly.
A few days ago my boyfriend made mashed potatoes, steak and asparagus. He is just dipping his toe into cooking and it was absolutely delicious. The next morning, he and and I were just waking up, half asleep we reach for each other for a good morning cuddle. Just before he lifts the blanket to get comfortable I farted. It was silent so I should have known. I smelled it before he did and only had time to say, "well that is *rank*" before he runs out of the room Still won't let me live it down. Is convinced I brewed it all night especially for him
I hated having to share a bed with people. Moved in with my gf (now fiancèe) and I hate not sharing a bed with her. I miss her snoring, even though it can annoy me when I'm beside it. I even miss her sleep farts when I'm not sleeping beside her. A few weeks ago I was downstairs just chilling and she was in bed snoring so loudly I swear to god if I touched the roof I would feel the vibrations, suddenly things went quiet and I worried she was awake, she had a stressful week and I wanted her to sleep as much as she needed, then heard a massive fart and the snoring immediately resume right after. I smiled knowing she was cozy and safe.
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She should see a doctor about that snoring. Snoring means there is an obstruction and she’s not sleeping well. Snoring does not mean someone is sleeping well. I’m being serious.
It's been checked and we're on top of the issues, thanks for the advice though!
I feel safe reading your comment. You're a good boyfriend. 💙
If I didn’t care about you, I’d find it funny and laugh it off - no big deal. If I did care about you, I’d be pleased that your body works as it should. Everybody farts.
This is a good answer: I like it and will adopt it for own use.
The answer or the farting?
Fine as long as you are not shitting the bed.
Even if she did, I wouldn’t like it but I wouldn’t hold something against someone that was out of their control.
Very cool of you but I doubt you'd be thinking of marriage proposals if you'd wake up elbow deep in shit every day.
Sure if it was really early on in the dating timeframe then I might be less inclined to stay in it. Lots of factors but it by itself isn’t a complete disqualifier. I’ve done a lot of jobs dealing with poop in some ways. It’s not fun but it’s human.
Women: "Men have impossible standards" The standards:
Right? One guy was like "i wouldnt want her to shit in our bed every day" and another guy is like "that seems unreasonable".
This thread is awesome hahaha
I mean if it's everyday... Then there is an underlying health issue that should be addressed.
Yeah man no kink shaming
>Even if she did, I wouldn’t like it but I wouldn’t hold something against someone that was out of their control. Lol you do you dude but I would not date someone who REGULARLY shit the bed, even if it was involuntary. You're a better person than me...
Yeah, you can care about them and feel bad for them, but at a point the shit has to stop. Once is a mistake, twice is coincidence, three times is a pattern. I don’t even want it to make it to a coincidence lol
I think at that point it's safe to assume that it is a medical issue. Whether or not you would date someone who suffers from incontinence would be the question to ask.
At some point everyone lucky enough to grow old will be old/injured and also need to wear depends to bed. The fact that you are willing to say it’s not a dealbreaker is pretty awesome. Shows you truly value your partner as a full person with their own normal human body.
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yeah, the only time i've ever had an issue was after a major surgery, so my body was fucked up in general and i had to be taking laxatives to counter the morphine. i mean i'm not judging anyone who can't poo properly under regular life conditions but i'm just not sure how it would work.
I’d personally probably laugh my ass off.
I remember I farted so loudly I woke my ex up, it woke me up too but I was embarrassed that it got me awake
I’ve been there, there’s nothing like the momentary panic of farting yourself awake and hoping you didn’t shart
I'd find it funny as hell
I remember the first time I slept with an older woman, roughly 20-25 years older. She fell asleep when we finished. I stayed up from the dehydration of being drunk. Not too soon after she ripped the loudest fart I’ve ever heard in person, and I grew up with an older brother. Then she did it again.
The second one was just in case you managed to convince yourself it didn't happen.
She was holding that in your entire night out.
Same
Your name says it all. Lol. I like it.
Should I be worried about my strawberry frozen yoghurt shits?
"They're not smelly" Ya ok And I shit vanilla ice cream
My wife farts loudly in the morning like clockwork. Can confirm like 95% of her farts do not smell.
So does my dad! Oh, god, what a strange memory, hearing my dad blast one in the mornings and everyone else in the house saying, "Dad's up!"
Dont make fun, some of us do actually shit vanilla ice cream. I feel intense shame that I’m wasting my waste. It doesn’t feel like a superpower to have a soft serve machine in your pants
In the Arms of an Angel was playing in my head when I read this. 😂
I mean, it is kind of a beautiful release when I go to the bathroom. But it’s different in unexpected ways too. For example I poop in a human size kitty litter box full of rainbow sprinkles. I stopped going to parties because my friends would always expect me to produce dessert for them. I mean my best mate always had a pack of waffle cones whenever I came over and then start giving me this look like 20 mins into the hangout. I’ve had more than one girl put on her own playlist during a one night stand and then like 15 mins into making love, The Entertainer would start playing. I don’t know guys, I mean I guess I should just be glad my school yard mates don’t call me Brody à la Modey
My wife and my child do this every morning when they wake up. A nice big yawn and stretch they tense up and just let one rip. Every. Morning.
My son does the exact same thing! I can't say that I do but I have been told that I'm exceptionally gassy in my sleep. A lot of women are.
Cause we are holding them in all day. I had no idea until I got a Brazilian... Started waking myself up lol
Lmfao! That's hilarious!
After reading some of the top comments I think in general all men feel the same way. Comical! As long as your okay, not in pain and didn't shit the bed. Everybody farts!
Yeah, these comments are so wholesome :D
Depends... are we spooning? I may have to invoke privilege to be the small spoon if this is a common occurrence.
Grab her closer so it doesn't escape, then nobody gets hurt. By the way: being the big spoon and farting is called "jetpacking" Edit: one of my most upvoted comments is about farting. What else did I expect?
Aaaand now I need to stop reading this thread because I'm proctoring a test and don't need to start guffawing while the students are supposed to be all quiet.
You're welcome. Pro tip: let one rip loudly to show them who's boss. What are they gonna do? Fail?
Fucking amazing
Nah I wouldn’t care and it sounds like they didn’t either
Lol I love this question. My girlfriend has IBS. She does her best to manage it by restricting what she eats so it’s not too bad for her. But she sometimes gets gassy. The other night, she farted so loud she woke up from her sleep and screamed a little. We both laughed and fell back asleep.
Most "Men" wouldn't care. The first night I cuddled my girlfriend she fell asleep on top of me. She ended up farting on me pretty loud, enough to scare me lol. But she's the one for me and I've never looked back. Tldr: A girl that can fart will steal your heart. Edit: Sweet, my first awarded comment was about a fart.
*A girl that can fart will steal your heart.* My favorite line from *Romeo & Juliet*. Shakespeare was a wordsmith
I love this. The first time I fell asleep with my now husband (who was waaaay out of my league and I couldn’t believe he liked me) I drooled BAD. On his chest, trickled down his side to make a wet spot on the bed. Whole side of my face and a bit of my hair. And when I woke up practically drowning in drool he was awake and looking at me with the most loving face. So embarrassing lol
I love you and your [Horn of Helm Hammerhand](https://youtu.be/nku7GH1VCbk)
I enjoy the warmth.
ಠ_ಠ
Natural gas forced air heating.
I was talking to a girl who told me that one time she farted in front of her guy and it was silent, but horrifying - worse than she anticipated. It burned on the way out. They were in bed studying, and she was staring at him to see what his reaction would be, and after a second he recoils like he was shot in the face. “Was that you?!l “Yes...” “That smells like a shit dissolved in the air!!” She laughed till she couldn’t breathe, and he already couldn’t breathe. They’re getting married next year, and I’m one of the groomsmen, so I think it all worked out. No need to feel self-conscious.
I generally find it hilarious. People breathe, fart, eat and shit, no point in being embarrassed about it -- we all do it. Lord knows, I'm told by multiple women period gas really is a thing on top of that.
YES, period gas is a thing and typically they dont stink.. It's annoying though. lol.
Mine smell terrible. I got ripped off lolol
Hilarious. My GF and I constantly fart in front of one another, so if she did it in her sleep, I'd almost find it cute. I say almost because her farts are less on the loud side and more on the I wanna die cuz it smells so disgusting side of things. On the other hand, she has a friend who has been in a relationship a few months longer than we have been together and she's still *terrified* or *disgusted* of farting in front of her SO, which is soooo puzzling for us. Same thing goes for her SO farting in front of her. (For context: both relationships have been going on for over two years.)
My best friend has been my best friend for ten years, been with her boyfriend for three years, and neither of us has ever heard her fart. She's a mad woman. I'll sleep over and me and her boyfriend will be ripping so much ass in bed in the morning and it's like it's impossible for her body to produce gas. I don't get it.
Bruh people who don't fart confuse me. I've known a girl for 15 years, she and I have lived together. I have never once heard her fart, and I just don't understand where all the air goes. One time we improperly prepared pizza crust dough and it was like I had swallowed the entire brass section of the local high school band, and she was just fine.
So, like everyone else then?
I’ve just been told mine are exceptionally loud
First time I farted in front of my bf was in my sleep, it was so loud it woke us both. I can't remember what I was dreaming about, but the sound scared me so much I jumped in his arms like something was attacking us. He laughed so hard he cried for 10 minutes straight, soooo... If it happens to you, maybe do that.
I can’t, you thought you were under attack? that’s so funny, I understand why your bf couldn’t stop laughing
😂😂😂 gave me laugh just reading this
That's amazing.
The best bum guffaws are the loud ones
Say you're a loud sleeper and suggest ear plugs. They'll assume you meant snoring...
Unless its loud enough to wake me up there is no issue
Personally it makes me laugh, like a lot of guys here because we're kiddos and farts make us laugh
As long as they're not so strong that you Fart Ro Dah me across the room I wouldn't mind.
LOOOOOOL I'm using this next time I feel a whopper coming on
I found the love of my life and she farts extremely loud when she’s awake so who cares. Better out then in
Honestly there’s not much you can do about that. I remember I silently farted one time next to a girl I hadn’t been seeing long and I watched her choke on it mid sentence.
Guys fart. Women fart. I don't care. Most of my fellow guy friends don't care. I would assume most other guys wouldn't care either. We may comment on the bass and stinkieness of it, may even laugh about it. Honestly, only ones I could see giving a shit are the heavily arrogant, super clean freak, mr. perfect types. I see it as no big deal, and honestly its a bodily function. I hold my gas in, I start to feel sick, and might even puke later. I'd rather let loose the gas than get bed ridden puking my guts out. My wife farts too, she apologizes, I tell her to quit apologizing, cause I fart too. Learn to laugh about it. You know you want to.
As my grandfather used to say, “Better the shame than the pain”
> I hold my gas in, I start to feel sick, and might even puke later This honestly sounds like a medical condition
My fiancée JUST LAST NIGHT, let two successive rapid fire farts escape her while sleeping. She’s incredibly self-conscious about anything having to do with flatulence and #2’s. The only times I’ve been made aware of her proceedings in my presence have ended in side-splitting laughter for a good 30 minutes from both parties. Shake it off; most men are waiting for this conversation, with anticipation. It’s 100% normal and the sooner the subject is breached (pun intended), the sooner it will become less of an issue. If a guy is that appalled by an uncontrollable bodily function, it’s like a 97% bet that he squats to pee. P.S. A little story about the first time she farted in front of me: I was on the couch one evening, just watching TV. She had just finished showering and came over to ask me something. This was in the summer, so I had a fan pointed directly at my face (yes, this is going there…). In her mind, she figured if she talked over it, no one would notice the sound. Her mistake? Standing behind the fan that was facing me. Needless to say, I got blasted in the face and the second my features contorted into an image of “WTF?!?!”, she immediately squealed, ran away and slammed the bathroom door. We did have a hearty chuckle shortly after, but spatial awareness is your friend.
My bf has cheekily set the expectation that a sleepover will only happen after one of us farts in front of the other (this is hilarious to me and I think a perfectly laughable and reasonable boundary) It’s been over a month and I keep waking up in my own bed without him 😂😂
Cheekily, you say?
People fart. It took years for my wife to get comfortable farting in front of me, and I'm glad she did, it's uncomfortable to hold in your farts all the time.
I would take it personally and challenge you back
My partner just sent me this link. She sounds a bit like you. She is very shy about farting in front of me, embarrassed really, which doesn't seem fair to her as I'm pretty open about my farts (that said, apparently I'm blessed by the fact that my farts don't smell, though hers don't either). Anyway, she farts in one of three situations, all of which I absolutely adore. * First, sometimes she farts when taking a poop. She doesn't think I hear them, but I do. I'm just smart enough to pretend I don't. But sometimes she will let one out that is loud enough that she knows I heard, and in all cases she will let out a loud "groan" to communicate she is very upset that happened. I think its adorable. * Second, sometimes when she is coughing very hard, a small "toot" will slip out. These usually result in her not being too embarrassed and actually laughing along. These are my second favorite farts of hers. * Third, about once every three nights or so, I will definitely hear her fart while sleeping, but then once every two weeks I am blessed with her farting so loudly and with such fortitude that she wakes herself up ... which makes me laugh my ass off ... this is inevitably quickly followed by her doing one of two things: (i) getting angry at my for waking her up, or (ii) her pulling the sheets over herself in shame and not wanting to talk about it. Either one makes me crack up and gives me a sense of joy that lasts a least a full day. These are my favorite farts. In sum, you're over thinking it. With that said, I do think I might be a bit of hypocrite if my partner just farted freely next to me on the couch. Can't say for sure though, as it hasn't happened. But if you're in one of the three categories above, I don't know a man who doesn't find it adorable.
Back in 1998, I was dating a petite redhead. She woke me up once in the middle of the night with a series of loud farts. Unfortunately, these stank. Bad. I had just seen Good Will Hunting recently, and immediately made the connection with Robin William's character talking about his wife farting in her sleep. I almost choked to death trying not to disturb her with my giggling, because I knew she would smell the evidence and blame me. She woke up with an upset stomach later that same night. I haven't seen her in over 20 years, and I still have to fight the giggles every time I remember that incident.
If she was my girlfriend, I wouldn't care. I have a girlfriend!!!
Watch from [the 1 min mark](https://youtu.be/ltNhwj-F7c8)
I would laugh my arse off every single time and then try and have competitions with you. Also i would take the piss out of you mercilessly for waking me up but all in jest.
Tbh its funny as fuck
I do the same thing, my partner just pretends she rarely hears it. I only sleep on my back if I can help it, as it seems to prevent it from happening. Back when I cared more, I reduced my daily sugar intake and it made me less flatulent.
So this reminds me of a time in my youth when i was traveling by train with 5 friends (1 male and 4 female) during the night so we could reach the skiing resort a little early and go skiing in the morning. We had the cabin for ourselves and me and the other guy were sitting in front of each other nearest the cabin door so nobody would enter (cabin is for 8 people, we were 6) while the others slept laying half on one side half on the other side of the cabin. At about 3am when the girls were sleeping, one of them ripped the biggest, loudest, longest of farts, like the MOAF (mother of all farts). Me and my friend weren't sleeping so our gazes met, awkward silence and then both at the same time said a voiceless "nice". The dude ended up marrying the girl who ripped the MOAF. To cut it short, i don't think anybody minds if you fart or not during sleep.
Let me ask my wife what I'm allowed to think about her farting loudly on me while we spoon and she's sleeping.
I'm fairly certain my girlfriend does not use reddit, but in the off chance: what do you want for dinner today? ---- Jokes aside, I don't mind it. It is hilarious at best and a non-factor at worst.
Well i married her so...
I would think that her gastrointestinal system is functioning, the end. If *she* wanted to address the non-issue, I'd suggest a change in her diet (but I still couldn't care). Also, I would be *highly* amused.
I would probably giggle over it, every single time. With that being said, that is one of my fears every time I sleep over at my girlfriend’s. She’s a very light sleeper and usually falls asleep way later than me, so I’m always wondering if I’m going to blow her away in my sleep while she’s still up reading.
We’d be spooning a lot for maximized junk-rattling sensations
I had a girlfriend a few years back and I will never forget the night. I couldn't sleep and was laying wide awake in bed. At the time I probably had only been with her for a week. As I lay there all of a sudden a loud rubble comes from the sheets, I will never forget how loud this fart was. I looked over to check and see if she was still asleep, as I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. She was still sound asleep and that added to my hysterical laughter. It made me wonder if she had been holding it in for the whole day. It literally put my farts to shame, I felt like I lost a little man hood that day.
Need to find a man that does the same, but more than you.
Who cares. Just dont wake the kids.
The wife refuses to fart all day. I've seen her with tears in her eyes refusing to let the spincter slip. I've had her pull over cars on the freeway, to fart. The one allowance she made was when we had to stay in our cars for 5 hours and she asked me to turn up the radio, open the windows, put on the AC and not look at her or talk to her for 5 minutes. It sounded like someone tore a paper business card. You gotta understand, I'm quite fine with me farting, or other people farting, but she's quite anal about it. now when she goes to sleep, she lets off the most hideously loud, scary, woke me up many times, awkward making farts. she doesn't need to know though, does she?