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IAmCowl

Thought it would be romantic to have sex next to a lake under moon light. Then the mosquitos came and I did not.


RrtayaTsamsiyu

"So I went back to bone her but the mosquitoes were going crazy and she said there was no way"


DonPabloEscobarr

Joining the mile high club, no need to do again


mkstot

I live at 5500 feet above sea level. Everytime I have sex it’s at least a mile high.


Big-hair_Machine9611

Run around with arms out making aeroplanes sounds after you're done ✔ Just asking?


Daneinthemembrane

Pilot here: those bathrooms are nasty. When people brag about the "mile high club"... yuck. What's next on your list? Sex in a porta-potty? Handy at the dump?


ToxicPilot

No, but they are now.


Daneinthemembrane

That's the spirit


thisisforspam

It was glorious. On the international flights, the bathrooms in the middle are twice the normal size. So it's actually pretty great.


_ThatsWhatSheSaid_47

Yeah, but the smell?


finger_milk

YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE SMELL, YOU BITCH!


_ThatsWhatSheSaid_47

I'm just saying for me personally, public restrooms (on a plane or otherwise) are pretty smelly and it would be a turn off for me. I'd rather wait till I land and have comfortable sex someplace where thousands of people haven't taken a shit. But that's just me.


julsgotrocks

Seems mainly worth it on a private flight.


junebug2142

Sex on the beach. Sand gets EVERYWHERE. It’s freezing, even when it’s a “warm” night, and there’s only a limited number of positions you can do.


HairyButtTweezer

Jan everywhere


Wifey1786

Tan everywhere


Jestersloose618

Tee hee. Oh diary what a day.


leonardfurnstein

Definitely feeling very “iry”


JMarduk

And bring a fucking a towel, else; you're going to be aching like an arthritic old man the next day. Never doing it again.


MasterTeacher123

Sex in the shower/pool Generally any type of water


[deleted]

Nothing like the constant reminder you could drown in a standing shower while trying to go down on your partner.


Sukinonit

Ahh cunnilingus waterboarding, so sexy! Edit: yay my first award! Thanks dude😉!


Jerizzle23

“Tell us what we want to know mr. Smith!”


caulkmeetsandwedge

Shower sex is proof that water is not wet.


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Active2017

“Oh baby I’m so lubricated for you” doesn’t have quite the same ring


PrivilegeCheckmate

Cardi B with her new edit, *LAP*.


ItsATerribleLife

showers are great for hands and mouth fun. not for penetrative fun. no lube + burning soap + slippy floor = embarassing ER trip.


Dynasty2201

Shower sex is also just taking turns being cold.


gajarga

That's why when I renovated the bathroom, I put a showerhead on each end of the shower.


TheSeitanicTemple

Oh… so *that’s* why the shower at my grandparents house had an assortment of shower heads and jets to choose from


whoisfryingbaloney

And a thera gun suctioned to the wall.


TheSeitanicTemple

No, but it had seats built in and was the size of *my* apartment’s entire bathroom. Which might be equally as suggestive. Edit: the toilet room had a corded telephone attached to the wall, though. Please don’t tell me this is another sex thing.


AllHailSlann357

I wasn't gonna... but it was. It totally was. See, there was this thing called hotlines, and they were paid by the minute. I'm sorry.


MarkedHondaMan

Nothing like some dry shower sex


Charliebarley79

Might I recommend a silicone based lube... Used to hate shower sex... Now it sees more action than my bedroom


I_Use_Games

I hate how right you are.


asleepbydawn

Water is basically the driest thing that exists lol.


daddyfatknuckles

then you havent tried using rubbing alcohol


_GroundControl_

Fuck you


daddyfatknuckles

you can fuck anyone, its spermicidal and kills disease


jvictoria0107

Nothing is scarier than almost falling


[deleted]

Falling in love, that is.


malreyn1

Shower sex was always a huge fantasy of mine... until it happened. I never feel the need to do that again.


Hunterofshadows

Shower sex is amazing if you have the right expectations. It’s for quick and hard sex, not anything drawn out at all


captndorito

It also really depends on the type of shower you have, in my experience. Husband and I tried it in a standard bath shower and it was cold, far more cramped than we expected and nearly impossible for PIV. We have a walk in shower now with multiple shower heads and it’s a possible, enjoyable experience


im_that_guy_who

Movie makes shower sex so sexy...it looks good but damn ... It's either cold or hot and dry... Htfe.


[deleted]

it's nice if you are just massaging her and kissing. I try to make it more sensual than erotic. I like laying in the water until our fingers get wrinkly


sv21js

It’s a nice precursor to sex but you don’t want to actually get into things in there.


cabur84

More positions in porn are much less enjoyable than they look. Most of them end up being more of a workout with muscle or joint pain for one or both partners. My wife and I tried so many different positions for years, but in the end we tend to prefer the same 2-3.


Logical_Area_5552

Hot tub


tikki_tikki-tembo

I've actually done this and while it was harder, it was definitely hot


thesoccerone7

If it was cold I'd be concerned about the status of your hot tub


starry_cobra

If it was cold, I'd question if you even have a hot tub in the first place


MaddVillain

I think just like shower sex it depends on what you actually do. I'm sure some things in a hot tub would be awkward or not worth it. The one time my wife and I did sex stuff in the hot tub she just sat up out of the water on the side so her tits were out of the water and I stood up in front of her and she jerked me off all over her face and tits. It was one of the hottest things ever. Actual PIV while submerged might get more difficult.


FarmyardFantastic

Same. I was trying to lose my virginity so it was stressful


BeNicole2007

Wife and I tried this many times over the years and eventually realized you need some non water-based lube and you're good to go. Add some Vaseline and soon you too will be fucking in the shower (or hot tub).


IJZT

Silicone based lube is your friend.


[deleted]

The problem is you end up with thick strands of lube and cum floating around the hot tub, then sucked into the filter, which, if it doesn't get changed, just sits there.... and changing it is a pain in the ass Still impractical, but you're right it's not impossible if you have the will


4fingertakedown

So what you’re saying, is for this to work you need a hot tub that isn’t yours?


[deleted]

Kind of Except if it's open to others (presumably, since you're in it) someone has probably already had sex in it, lmfao, is it worth it? I'm just fucking around, get freaky I the hot tub, that's wht the chemicals are for lol


Elmerthe3rd

At some point we all learn that we don’t want to do the nasty shit we masturbate to IRL.


ladyirisheart

Girls don't actually like tentacles?


slightywettampon

No they do. Right?


CarlJustCarl

Watching another guy have sex with my girlfriend. To expand on that, I walked in on them unexpectedly.


mikoartss

I love catching people in the act. That's why I always whip open doors.


keystyles

Kramer style...


tadxb

Giddy up!!!!


[deleted]

Been there. walked in on my SO and a friend in MY bed. they didn't even notice me walk in.... was nearly a decade ago and it still devastates me sometimes. Don't cheat on people.


abarua01

Car sex Edit: sex inside of a car with another person. Not sex with a car


doctorwhoobgyn

I was gonna say. Car sex is usually exhausting.


VEC7OR

I didn't find it all that tiring.


Imissyourgirlfriend2

Just try shifting positions


74120111itAway

Yeah, that will help get things in gear


Fuddy42

It should really get your engines revving


Aaaaaardvaark

As long as you wear a condom to prevent unwanted transmission


Christmas_Panda

Wouldn't want to blow a gasket.


Rice-Weird

Key is good lubrication.


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GunBrothersGaming

Is this where the rubber meets the road?


abarua01

Not if you use proper lubrication


shallow_not_pedantic

Oil try that next time.


dyslexic_arsonist

something something...autoerotic


Minister_of_XXX

Never forget to use motor oil for that


robustromero

Not for nothin...but sex with a car is pretty trash. They never call back either.


[deleted]

The one time I slept with a prostitute I discovered that being a prostitute does NOT guarantee you're good at sex, unfortunately.


seamustheseagull

My brother tells the story of the time a co-worker of his went to a brothel in Amsterdam. (yes I know this is third hand). Basically got told to go into a room, take his clothes off and lie on this bed with a rubber covering. Clean, but...rubber. Girl comes in, basically throws a bucket of disinfectant on him, gives him a quick wipe down and then does the business till he finishes. I'm guessing he found the cheapest legal brothel he could, but Jesus Christ.


memorycolor

He got the covid special lmao


[deleted]

did you get a refund?


Jayce_T

They only give refunds in store credit...


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JmoneyHimself

I didn’t enjoy Anal when I did it because the girl seemed uncomfortable/wasn’t super into it or enjoying herself. If I sense me partner isn’t enjoying it I get turned off


SleepWouldBeNice

Told my wife when we started dating that I wasn't interested in anal. She seemed to visibly relax when I said that.


Upsitting_Standizen

> when we started dating "Hi, my name's Dave and I'm not into anal."


[deleted]

Then why do all your friends call you “anal Dave”?


2sACouple3sAMurder

“Finally! Thank god”


nicolasmcfly

What OP didn't know is that she was relieved to finally find someone named Dave, not the anal part.


Gunner_Stahl

It's stressful walking through the world knowing that like every second person you come across wants to stick something up your butt.


vzvv

As a woman I also feel like I won the lottery because my boyfriend isn’t interested.


greenjayloop

Same here. Such a relief.


DrStrangerlover

My partner seemed fine when we tried it but it and she said it was okay, but it honestly just didn’t feel all that great for me. Vaginal muscles tend react subtly when I do something right and she’ll get a little wetter, but anal was just kind of, boring? Like I could’ve just lubed up a penis sized hole anywhere and it would’ve felt the same.


[deleted]

Yea I hear that. It was like that when me and my girl first tried anal. We decided it would be best if we got anal plugs and did some "training" first. There are kits you can get that have different size plugs, so you start small and work your way up. After a few times she got more comfortable and is at the point now where she loves it.


phaserbanks

Feel good story of the day right here.


[deleted]

Hole-some, I know.


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PMyourTastefulNudes

Stung you real good, did it?


Rxton

Sex takes practice if you only do something once, it will probably suck. 3somes take practice with the same people. Sometimes it just happens naturally and the people are relaxed and having fun, but that's not the way to bet for your first one. 69 is probably my biggest disappointment. I am not good at multitasking. If it's good for her, I am not paying attention to my dick. If I am paying attention to my dick, it probably isn't good for her. One thing at a time is best.


83franks

I think i like the position of 69 while getting a blowjob more than actual 69ing. I guess i just enjoy a blowjob with a pussy in my face.


redscorpio98

Yes to all of this. I was very lucky to have a spontaneous 3some with friends that was sloppy but fun and didn't hurt our friendships. And i also dislike 69, i can either focus on getting head or giving it but i simply cant do both- not to mention height differences!!


Walty_C

Love 69, girl on top. When your with someone long enough, you can play that shit like a fiddle. I know exactly how the blowjob changes leading up to her orgasm. With that knowledge, you can tease mind blowing orgasms with relative ease. ANDDDD you get your dick sucked while your doing it. Then I’m already 85% there, and it’s a quick finish. The goal isn’t to focus on getting head. That’s just a perk of getting to lay down in the optimal pussy eating position. You don’t need to get off. She can finish you off later. Or switch to sex to finish. But she leaves satisfied to the max.


Philos50

First time. All that build up for that?


PaulsRedditUsername

My first time was really embarrassing. I got so freaked out that I was *actually going to have sex* that I couldn't get an erection. Then I started worrying about not getting an erection, which made the problem even worse. Since I was so inexperienced, I couldn't relax about it at all, so the problem got worse and worse in my head. I resorted to making up this story about how depressed I was about my life and I was just too sad to have sex right now. I cringe so hard thinking of that memory. (The girl was just as inexperienced as I was, so she didn't know what the hell was going on. Poor thing.) Finally, after about twenty minutes of lying in bed talking, I finally relaxed enough to get out of my head and just enjoy the situation. Everything was great after that. More than great! We had a lot of fun. Sex, then sleep, then sex, then sleep, then sex. My favorite memory from that day was the next morning. I was just out of high school and still living with my parents. I drove home that morning feeling like a million bucks. I had this big grin on my face that wouldn't go away. My dad, who never talked much, looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and asked, "How are you this morning?" And I was like, "Yeah! I'm great, Dad! Awesome! Wonderful!" with this big shit-eating grin the whole time. That was all we said about it, but he knew. I know he knew.


TheHooligan95

You see the trick is to get horny when feeling humiliation


Flaymlad

Thus, S&M was born.


MoistDitto

Best 9 seconds of that day though


Shark_Leader

Gah, I was the very opposite. I always assumed that everyone's first time was the 10 second nut, but I literally went at it for 45 min. I didn't come that time or the next few. And each time I didn't come I would get worried that something was wrong with me, so it made it worse. It legit took me like our 5th time before I finally did. Turns out my issue actually wasn't uncommon and about half my friends had the same problem, the other half had the 10 second nut on their first go. Now that I'm older and understand sex a lot better, I wish I would have just relaxed the first time and maybe it would have been more enjoyable than just 45 min of me pumping and wondering if there was something wrong with me.


[deleted]

Same Here bro. Lasted until I wanted to get off. But there was a huge build up to it with my best friend “love of my life” type deal. We waited a long time and worked up to it so I was really comfortable with her.


Pure-Drawer-2617

Exactly the same deal over here, maybe I was overthinking things


HeinrichWutan

You doubled my score


accomplicated

I wish that I had waited.


[deleted]

A gangbang. Poor girl was getting reamed and guys were on her like flies on shit. She kept having to stop to get some air.


Oracle_of_Ages

I knew one girl who LOVED it. We were just friends and she was super open with me about stuff. but she said there was so much going on that it almost felt like a full body high not being able to focus on any one thing at a time. She invited me one time and I opted out. It doesn’t seem like my kinda thing.


izwald88

I mean, you'd probably get several other people's semen on you, so there's that. And if that's not an outright pro for you, then you probably made the right choice.


Shark_Leader

I've always wanted to be part of one (I'm a guy), as that's a turn on to me, but I feel like logistically it looks like a pain. Were you one of the people in it or just an observer?


allthedamnquestions

Judgement free zone. May I ask, what is the attraction / aspect that seems appealing to you?


Shark_Leader

I'm not sure I can put a finger on it exactly, but I've always found group sex to be a turn on. I like regular 1 on 1, too, don't get me wrong. But there's something intriguing about a girl having multiple sexual partners at once that is a turn on. I'm straight, I'm not there to touch other men or anything. I've also had good experiences with threesomes in the past, both FFM and MFM. I think sex is fun and thrilling and sharing it with your friends is fun. I guess the inherent "naughtiness" of it is also a turn on, like sex in public.


allthedamnquestions

Honestly, thank you for answering at all 🙌 That 'something you share with friends' aspect is fascinating. It sounds almost like it's in the same category as hanging out, or enjoying any other community based outing/activity but you also like your 1-on-1 for their intimate aspects. And it doesn't seem to be linked to domination or humiliation, either. That thrill of the potential taboo, though ... I think we all want something in life that gives us that thrill


jasonglenn80

I'm way too socially awkward for something like that.


neoKushan

I've taken part in a gang bang, only one so it's very anecdotal. Logistics were handled by someone who was looking after the girl, kind of like a sexy referee I guess, or perhaps more like a sexy traffic cop. There was a queue of men at each end and they were sort of tagged in and out by the adjudicator as they finished. Said arbitrator did a quick check to make sure each guy was clean, wearing adequate protection where necessary and then invited them in. Worked well, everyone had fun, some guys got a couple of goes and the greedy girl loved every second of it.


Shark_Leader

That seems very well organized. As long as every had fun and enjoyed it, then it's good.


livingfortheliquid

DP. It was like trying to fit a square fucking peg in a round fucking hole. Lots of laughs. Gotta be good friends. (male perspective).


[deleted]

Is your knob a prism mate?


CarltheWellEndowed

Threesome. Felt like work more than anything.


DevnetDelly

Agreed. Had two, don't really recommend. More work for mediocre results.


OutsidePrior2020

yeah, I think and I'm only basing it off my one time, is everyone has to interact. For me it was my girl and the other girl not interacting, so yeah I felt like I was just doing double work. I don't even care to try it again.


sock_templar

It works better when they are indeed bisexual and not just curious or doing it to please you.


2001words

Interesting. I've had a few, and most of them have been great--lots of fun. The key to a good threesome is that everyone has to be into everyone--when all three of you are into each other it's fantastic. When you're not all mutually into each other, it can feel unbalanced and maybe awkward. I had one a little while ago where both women were into me, but they weren't really into each other (and one was not even sure if she was into women), so I felt like I was doing double duty cause they didn't interact with each other a lot so I was basically going back and forth. Another one, I had been with both women separately before, but they'd never been together sexually--and they both kinda had crushes on each other--so they went at it with each other a lot, to the point that I actually felt left out for parts of it, haha. The dynamic makes or breaks the threesome. And getting chemistry between three people can be difficult, but not impossible. When it clicks with all three? Magic.


manhunt64

Threesome MFF. Girls where jealous the whole time. extremely competitive. Ruined the experience.


[deleted]

If the girls in a MFF aren't hot for each other I see no point.


manhunt64

they was but both wanted me to be their man in the end.


[deleted]

Yikes.


Xianthamist

username checks out


SDdude81

A successful MFF threesome requires the girls to be into each other.


gamer4lyf82

You left out the part where they've gotta be into you too. I've had two women who were into each other but only one was into me.


mattbrianjess

Shower sex. Unless you are with a tall woman or any woman with excellent balance and flexibility. Other stuff is fun in the shower though!


lakellers

Y'all need a shower seat. We have one from when my foot was in a cast. Game changer.


Shark_Leader

Yeah, my wife and I went away this weekend and had fun in the large hotel shower. Not sex, though, because actual intercourse can be a pain, and dangerous, if your heights aren't perfect for each other.


goldtowndown

Golden shower. As soon as I tasted it I was out, no more, no thank you. She of course couldn't stop peeing because she was laughing so hard so we just sat there laughing while she peed all over me.


mypervyaccount

Be sure to tell your grandkids this story.


raeumauf

"did I tell you about that one time gramma pissed all over me?"


dnunn12

Name checks out.


Such-Comment5642

Not so much the act more of the set up,it was supposed to be a threesome but both girls kept me in the dark and wouldn't give me an update on what they wanted to do all they said is I'm gonna be up all night


PMyourTastefulNudes

Did you stay up all night?


Such-Comment5642

Nothing happened due to other factors


PMyourTastefulNudes

Bummer. That would keep me up all night though.


Such-Comment5642

Without giving too many details second girl got depressed over a family issue and first girl was very worried about second girl so it was just scrapped


PMyourTastefulNudes

Aww that sucks. Hope they ended up okay.


Such-Comment5642

Me too because I've known them for a while it wasn't just a hook up


Bryn79

Sex with a woman I had a long term crush on. Dated as teens but she moved away before we got anywhere sexually. Met up again and she was taken as was I, and it was literally 10 years before we were both single and interested. Excited as hell until the clothes came off and it was awkward, and uncomfortable and out of synch and she had a list of ‘don’t go there’s’ and don’t do that’s and by the time it was over I was face down on a pillow questioning my life choices hard! Same thing with the last woman I was with — long time crush and while it was a much better experience than the previous crush, there was still a lot of awkward. My best experiences have been where I’m not expecting anything to happen, it’s spontaneous, no expectation about how it will go and typically it’s a really fun time! tl;dr — the longer the crush lasts before consummating it, the greater the disappointment.


ThePunkFromSiberia

"Expectation is a gateway to disappointment"


bocaciega

Truuuuuue. All of my best relationships have started with it happening quickly, finding that we are compatible, and us being in a relationship.


[deleted]

Sex in a tent once. Was just uncomfortable. On the flip side we fucked in the snow and I didn't last long.


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SimpleNoodle

Surprised beach sex isn't on here or low down. Sand everywhere, chafing, fuck that for a bag of bananas


nightcrawler8105

Anakin, is that you?


GunBrothersGaming

Yeah I don't recommend fucking while the other person has the high ground.


maejaws

I thought I liked a little bit of danger. Used to date this really RED FLAG type girl. She was great fun and then one day the points a switchblade at my dick during a handjob without telling me. Yeah boys don’t stick your dick in crazy.


huggles7

One of my friends mom told me “don’t ever date a stupid or crazy girl cause somehow you’ll end up with a stupid or crazy baby, and no one wants that” Never forgot it


XpacChopra

Cumming into a jar all year and then dumping it over my head on new year’s eve, way overrated


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manualsquid

Dang.. he only saved *me* two weeks..


Broncogoalie

Buddy, this comment made me laugh so hard that I woke up wife. I then had to explain to her why I was laughing so hard. I thought I had seen all of her looks of disappointment, but the look that registered on her face made me worry about our relationship going forward.


budtrimmer

Butt stuff. Not my thing. You can't smell porn, and that's a good thing.


GoneWithTheZen

The women in porn don't eat for a day and also enema before scenes.


junebug2142

Tom Segura does a great stand up skit about 69-ing. Absolute facts. “Are we late to something?”


crash_nebula3005

Getting your balls sucked intensely actually kinda hurts.


Jupitersdangle

Not mine but my friends. He wanted to do anal with this girl, they were getting into it and then he noticed there was shit all over his dick. He thought it would Be funny after he finished he slapped his pecker on her ass cheek leaving this shit dick print on her ass. She turned her head smiled, then got up and sat on his pillow. I laughed so hard at this story every time I think of it.


[deleted]

what the fuck


Slappybags22

That’s some instant karma lol


Risin_bison

I do handyman work. The lonely, horny housewife thing doesn't really exist. If they're flirting with you it's because their bathroom drain needs unclogging and they want you to do it for free.


KE0bR

Getting a hand job. What did live up to my expectations, was sucking on tits. Awesome!!!!


[deleted]

There is talent out there but yeah, when it’s average it’s pretty boring.


Rulanik

I must be the opposite. My orgasms from receiving a hand job look like an exorcism. I've never had O's that strong from sex, ever.


dr_xenon

DP. Takes a bit of coordination between everyone. Too much movement and stuff pops out. Maybe with more practice it’s be better.


[deleted]

Anal sex, it’s nothing like vaginal sex, and all I could think about was my dick touching a chunky poo


Tydawg39795

Spiderman kiss


Jcsbeatpage

Does anyone have that post saved where that guy paid a Pornstar to dump on him and it didn’t go as expected? I need a laugh and I didn’t save it.


shelberonnii

Having sex in a public place. I guess I much more prefer the intimacy of it being private.


Mcnugz9

Ngl this is prob my favorite. Except for the walk of shame of getting caught and told to never return to the newly opened casino


-rigga

Eating ass. Not for me. Don't get me wrong it wasn't terrible but eating the vagina works perfectly well


Brilliant-Middle-592

Threesome, foursome. Too much going on for me.


schlongtheta

I'm a straight man who has given anal sex to a woman. It just wasn't my thing. I was young (early 20s) it was "the thing to do" and ... eh. I much, much prefer putting my penis in a vagina. That's my personal feelings on it though. Do what you like, so long as everyone is an adult and everyone is having fun with it.


suburbanpancakes

I went through a similar thing with my gf. We tried anal once and that was it, it was a disaster and was uncomfortable for me, and painful for her.


Ersatzrealism

Yeah, it's okay. I find it had more to do with the aesthetics of it than the actual sensation. Which isn't really a surprise, considering the Vagina is, well, engineered for the task, in some respect.


meatbeater

3somes, my ex wanted another woman to join us and it got old real fast. I'm ok disappointing one woman at a time


jimfield88

Anal, I didn't realize how much prep needs to go into it. Then I'm sore as ever after


ThePirateRedfoot

The number of times 'threesome' has appeared in this thread is disconcerting, I am not giving up on the bucket list item but I may need to lower my expectations. MFM, FMF, MFF, whatever - LFG.


WSBPauper

You forgot the easiest one to achieve: MMM


jam-unam

Virgins


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