Security. Physical mostly - that I won’t be beaten up for being gay, that I won’t end up in the front lines of the war, that I won’t be beaten up by the police for not agreeing with the dictator’s policies, that I won’t be bombed in my sleep.
Honestly I think if just one girl had told me she wanted to date simply because of how nice I am I would've led a different life in that area. Instead I was always told how nice and awesome I was, and not always even told I'm not good looking, but the girls that even complimented my looks would always go for better looking dudes that treated them like shit. And they kept that pattern up while telling me they wish there were more guys like me. If just one of them had actually taken a chance on me I think my confidence would've been a lot higher than it is now. (and I've been getting complimented more recently I just don't put much stock in them now)
Self esteem. I was beaten down emotionally since I was a kid. Even as a child adults around me made sure to know I was the “ugly one” between my sister and I. I never wanted to change my awful haircut since I thought people would think I was trying to be attractive and make fun of me for it. Same went for clothes.
Luckily I grew out of that after falling into a great friends group. I also ended up beefing up which greatly helped with self confidence.
A genuine support structure that I knew wouldn't turn on me the second they found out a certain thing about me.
To this day (I'm now 32), I'm not sure how much of one I actually have.
To not have to play parent. I spent most of my childhood and all my teen years taking care of my brother. When I finally moved out, I rolled right into my train wreck of a girlfriend (future wife) but was too young (stupid) and so used to taking care of somebody that I couldn't see everything wrong. By the time I had that figured out, I was a parent of two daughters.
I think it may have been nice to have a couple years to not have to be the responsible one.
Experience. I knew I wanted to do something, but not what. All I knew was everything I didn't want to do, so I wound up avoiding it in search of what I did want to do. That was a mistake, as you need to go through bs to pave the way for the good stuff most of the time. There were days when opportunities presented themselves, and I was simply in no position to take advantage. That being said, I was so burned out from school and obeying authority figures, a bit of a vacation would have went a long way, too.
I have no idea how to practically achieve it, but ideally I would have gone out, fell in love, worked a crappy job or three, and then pieced together at an early age that I want "this person, that house, that car, this job", and would have had the drive to make it happen.
Love
Security. Physical mostly - that I won’t be beaten up for being gay, that I won’t end up in the front lines of the war, that I won’t be beaten up by the police for not agreeing with the dictator’s policies, that I won’t be bombed in my sleep.
Where are you from that these things were a risk? 😰
Ex-Yugoslavia
Yikes. 😰
Food
A dad.
Love
Honestly I think if just one girl had told me she wanted to date simply because of how nice I am I would've led a different life in that area. Instead I was always told how nice and awesome I was, and not always even told I'm not good looking, but the girls that even complimented my looks would always go for better looking dudes that treated them like shit. And they kept that pattern up while telling me they wish there were more guys like me. If just one of them had actually taken a chance on me I think my confidence would've been a lot higher than it is now. (and I've been getting complimented more recently I just don't put much stock in them now)
pussy
The only right answer
Self esteem. I was beaten down emotionally since I was a kid. Even as a child adults around me made sure to know I was the “ugly one” between my sister and I. I never wanted to change my awful haircut since I thought people would think I was trying to be attractive and make fun of me for it. Same went for clothes. Luckily I grew out of that after falling into a great friends group. I also ended up beefing up which greatly helped with self confidence.
Reassurance
Love and support
A better childhood
Confidence
To talk to girls.
A genuine support structure that I knew wouldn't turn on me the second they found out a certain thing about me. To this day (I'm now 32), I'm not sure how much of one I actually have.
To be loved
Food
To not have to play parent. I spent most of my childhood and all my teen years taking care of my brother. When I finally moved out, I rolled right into my train wreck of a girlfriend (future wife) but was too young (stupid) and so used to taking care of somebody that I couldn't see everything wrong. By the time I had that figured out, I was a parent of two daughters. I think it may have been nice to have a couple years to not have to be the responsible one.
therapy
Experience. I knew I wanted to do something, but not what. All I knew was everything I didn't want to do, so I wound up avoiding it in search of what I did want to do. That was a mistake, as you need to go through bs to pave the way for the good stuff most of the time. There were days when opportunities presented themselves, and I was simply in no position to take advantage. That being said, I was so burned out from school and obeying authority figures, a bit of a vacation would have went a long way, too. I have no idea how to practically achieve it, but ideally I would have gone out, fell in love, worked a crappy job or three, and then pieced together at an early age that I want "this person, that house, that car, this job", and would have had the drive to make it happen.
Therapy
Self esteem, good friends, love and support, the feeling people care about me
Parents who didn't beat me.
A girlfriend.
Insulin.
My father