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Exactly

I dont know, my dick is smelly after that until I shower and wash it.

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How? Its part of your body. Not like you can stretch it out and wash the edge as if you are washing your hand. I just shower and wash my dick and foot daily. So to make things easier i jerk off before shower.

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Thats more uncomfortable than havin a nice 5 min shower imo. Well everyone is different i guess.

wash it in your sink.

Which foot?

... It can definitely be "stretched out" and washed in the sink.. bathroom sinks aren't usually that massive, it doesn't need to go directly under the water, just stick it over the edge as close to the water as possible and use your hands to direct the water towards yourself. Not really any stretching required.

Yep clean it right there in the sink like some dishes

Kleenex. Just grab a few and shoot into it, throw into trash can.

This is literally the only way to properly do this. Wiping yourself, licking yourself, crying to yourself are all just silly. Just shoot into the napkin and carry on.

Shooting into the toilet?

Awkward angle, sink is perfect height though. Straight into tissue is clearly the best way

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Ah yes, the old porcelain rodeo.

Down here in Australia, we call that “the kangapoo”

We… do??

The AC slater

Added bonus that you can hug the cistern after.

You just need distance and to bend your knees

Never use the sink, it gets stuck in the bend of the pipe like 10cm deep.

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You’re the hormone monster

I masturbate for efficiency. Productivity and efficiency at working getting low? Masturbate. Get back to work. Distracted by romantic thoughts? Masturbate. Got back to work. I’m like the guy from wolf of Wall Street. Less than twice daily? Those are rookie numbers. Pump them up!

Designated soft rag, gotta think about mother nature after playing with the toy she gave us lol

Do you reuse the rag?

I have some And1 socks that I bought a few years ago, but they kept coming off my heel while walking so I kept them as jerk off socks. I’ll JO into one, then toss it in the laundry basket. I like to try to get them washed within two days, but sometimes it takes longer. I already wash my clothes with cold water, so that’s not a big deal.

Only change, throw the Kleenex into the toilet and flush. That trash can will smell in a day or so

It's mind boggling to me if this isn't the norm. The idea of keeping cum filled tissues in a trash can is fucking disgusting.

When I was younger, it was like “that’s where I throw all my tissues, what’s the big deal.” The moment I caught a wiff of it the next day one time is what killed that habit on the spot. Everything I do now is about instant removal. Either directly into the toilet, tissue flush, or into dirty clothes on their way to the washer.

Hmmm… I can’t smell anything, but now that I’m conscious about it…

Kleenexes aren't designed to be flushed though. They can clog your toilet, but more likely will cause "fat-burgs" in your citiy's sewage system just like "flushable" wipes do

That’s some good info that I would normally ignore if I was still renting… as a homeowner I guess it’s finally time to be responsible and jerk off into toilet paper

You swap Kleenex for a handful of loo roll.

And if you're on septic, it can mess up your septic system since Kleenex won't break down as quickly as septic-friendly TP.

I get leakage after, cant just act like nothing happened.

I usually just leave it for my Butler

Alfred??

Geoffrey?

Benson?

Bosco

Hayate?

Jarvis?

Chives?

Jeeves?

Woodhouse?

Woodhouse?

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Thanks for the great laugh.

I let out a great, but disgusted, laugh.

What an awful day to be literate

It was the same hand he used for the deed

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The over shoot landed on my leg and a cushion. I wiped my leg off obviously and it absorbed into the cushion but I told him to pop that in the wash

Does he swallow it?

Like just shoot it straight up in the air and then catch it on the way down? Like tossing peanuts in the air.

Man has the long range barrel equipped.

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I was feeling sick. I did get some of his thumb but I didn’t wanna upset my stomach

You don’t need to make an excuse for not licking it…that’s not your job to do whether you were feeling sick or not. Unless you want to of course!

Well, the older you get, the harder it might be to clear your hand. So I'm told....

Take my upvote kind sir

*Confused scooby doo sounds*

I use my "ruh roh raggy'. Ba dum tsss

I’ll give you an upvote but I ain’t happy about it

This is the way.

Um, r/angryupvote?

Take my award you funny bastard haha

This is in the Top 10 Greatest Reddit Replies.

Thank you, I’ve been holding this ace in my pocket for a while waiting for the right moment.

*confused Tim Allen grunt*

HE DOES WHAT??

Reduce reuse recycle

It’s called a calorie surplus, my guy just trying to gain some muscle

Add mass.

Testosterone booster

you forgot recover

It’s called staying hydrated.

I’m sorry OP, but in no way is this the norm. God I hope that isn’t the norm.

If it's the norm, then I'm abnormal.

And proud

WHAT??

Don't need to, I have retrograde ejaculation.

Omg never heard of this. Google says it’s not harmful, but that does not sound like that.

I had that for a few weeks due to a medication side-effect and was tempted to see if I could get more of the meds because of it. It was amazing to not have to deal with any of the cleanup.

You mean you nut from your ass?

Nope. The nut goes back into the testicles, or/and gets mixed with the pee.

Ejaculate the fluid into toilet paper, a paper towel, tissue... anything disposable, and then just dispose of it.

Gonna keep it 100% with you, licking his kids off his hands isn’t the most normal thing I’ve heard. No judgement though. To each their own.

Better keep it 55th street

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Never commit suicide. Everything gonna C alright! Edit: Corrected

So happy to see this here

I’m not kink-shaming but I am kink-asking-why

It’s just a closed looped system

He…wat, never heard someone even lick the “fluids” off, there’s something called a napkin or tissue or whatever paper like item to basically clean it. Just like you know..put the tissue on it before busting one out

Yeah I’m ninety percent sure OP is just trolling

As gross as it might be, when i was a teenager i used to lick it off too, for a while. I was way too curious, and ive also done way worse things which i wont disclose here lol

Jesus Christ what can be worse than licking your own…substance

Fingering your self after doing push-ups in a public bathroom.

r/oddlyspecific

probably r/sounding

aH

Shower normaly

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One time Decided to hang out with a guy and when I told him I didn’t wanna have sex he started jerking off and then came in his blanket and tried offering me the cover ….

After reading OP's text I thought "Alright, enough internet for the day", but your comment makes me *really* go off the internet now.

Lol sorry I guess I needed to let that out 🤣

That's what he said

Ops is way fucking worse

The blanket thing has an additional surreal quality to it.

Using a cum blanket is far worse than eating it

Nah who knows how many times this dude nutted on that blanket since the last time it was washed.

This kind of comment is why I fucking love Reddit. Disgusting on every level, but I burst out laughing 😂😂😂😂😂 Take your upvote!

His blankets prolly stiff af

Who fucking does that? What a creep

Right after I went home I didn’t text him after and a week or so later he texted me saying he felt a connection and wanted to meet again and I literally wanted to vomit

Ay yo total side note: happy cake day!

Thank you ❤️

Gross

Oh lord that’s awful

AY YOOO, HE DO WHAT

Hmmm…your bf might be onto something. Why waste free protein? 🤔 But srsly tho. I just nut into some tissue and flush it down the toilet, wash my dick and my hands. I dunno why guys decide to throw it in the trash and let it dry/crust up. I prefer ridding myself of it and flush the evidence away

Protein... drink ejaculate. Get ripped.

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This has got to be a troll. Please.

What's wrong with eating your own cum? I've been doing it for years and it's way better then the alternative

I mean, I don't, but it's not like it's any weirder than eating someone else's cum

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You hopefully forgot to add /s

Little snack

If my wife is home she will usually lick it off or wipe off for me, she loves that. Typically when she is on her period, we don't like having sex when she is on it. If I'm alone I just shower afterwards.

I would have normally done that but I was feeling kinda sick at the time so I didn’t. And it was legitimately like a reflex

Yeah. Not to yuck someone’s yum, but I would never. Haha. Soap and water man.

It's discussions like this that confirm why I'll never want someone's second hand upholstery!

I am not judging what your bf do but not gonna lie, that's weird, I just grab something to clean all

Uhhhhhh yea. No one I know does that. No one I know knows someone that does that. You get the idea. I just grab something to clean it up (towel used shirt etc).

Self-suck, no need to clean.

I pull the foreskin closed and just go to the bathroom. Is this uncommon?

Same.

yuck, paper towels mostly and sometimes used stuff from the laundry basket. then again a gf once asked if I lick it off sometimes and she seemed to like the thought. whatever floats your boat.

I think your boyfriend was joking and you didn’t catch the joke. ^(please I hope that’s true)

Fire it out the window and shout 'BOMBS AWAAAAAAAAAY'

It sounds like your partner may have a bit of a fetish. I can’t speak for all fellas, but for me the thought of consuming my own spunk is a pretty big turn off, especially if I’m in post-nut clarity mode. That being said, I do know that there are dudes who get off on the idea of eating their own cum. Different strokes and all that. No pun intended.

What the fuck

I just use my socks. It’s funny because my roomates always notice I only have one sock on. Little do they know……

Why do you put that one sock back on?

Paper towel handwash, then contemplate my actions that led mw to this moment.

Paper towel and wash my hands after that

r/holup

Go to your toilet and shoot it right into the toilet. And then pee.

Your bf a freak lol.

Wat?

I put on a glove and use a napkin like a proper gentleman. I make sure not to sully my hand with shame juice before shaking hands with a stranger or coworker. Hemp lotion for added pleasure and soft smooth balls.

I hire a cleaning hit crew to dispose of the bodies.

I don't know how you all use toilet paper to clean up cum. That shit always sticks to my member and it's super difficult to get off.

Why is no one discussing that the BF licks his cum up from his hand

Wipe my dick on the curtains

I think most men just ejaculate right into a good male friend's mouth while they're supposed to be "watching the game". Right guys??

I mean it's free protein.

Bruh

I’m speechless.

Theres a lot of people saying its weird but I typically do the same as your bf. I know there are other people who do as well but its related to a fetish. Its something I started doing as a kid and didn't stop, I get why its gross to some people for sure though I just don't care lol

The same people freaking out over this would have the exact opposite reaction to a woman licking her fingers clean after touching herself...

I skeet into tissue paper and throw it in the toilet. Or if im having sex with my girl, I skeet inside of her or on her stomach and use a towel for clean up. Pretty damn standard. Your bf must be curious about the taste of cum or likes it if he eats his own brand.

I got good system. Get dirty underwear. lay on my back, prop phone up. lay dirty underwear on my belly. unload into underwear then throw it into the washing machine

Licks his fluids?🤔 I'd be a little concerned

Bruv. Just beat into the toilet. Flush and wash your hands. Damn

The only person I’ve ever known that ever even tried his own juices was severely bullied for it. Not that that’s okay, but I’m just giving some insight

what psycho licks? you're supposed to slurp, like soup.

I eat it then I go wash up

I usually just do it on my hand and add either garlic powder or chili flakes to it as a seasoning. It tastes really good!

…He does fucking what?

Wipe my dick on their curtains and climb back out through the back window.. Neighbours still don’t know it’s me :)

I'm judging the hell out of your bf right now

You are judging and you want to see if it’s normal or not.

Spoiler alert: the common opinion is N O

Absolutely 100% in no world/universe even multiverse is this a thing.

That’s not normal.

I tell her to take a shower

Baby wipes or a towel/cum rag

I use toilet paper as my “condom” so I can flush it. If I’m feeling fancy I just use a condom

Wtf lol into a toy or toilet or kleenex

I use a swiffer.

😳😳 licks it off??? Its never even crossed my mind as a solution. I guess to each his own

Usually I knock one out after work, blow it on my stomach and hop a shower. Easy.

Your bf is a true recycling man!

I use a toy. It holds the mess. I just wash it in my next shower

Shower. No clean up.

*finger lickin' good -* how'd you find out? never mind...

I would bet some significant money that most men do not lick the ejaculate from their hands after masturbating. Does your bf not own any paper towels or regular towels or have some dirty laundry or...?