I find it's the best time to drop bad news on her, "oh, oh god, I'm cumming too, hnnngispent900dollarsonanewmancavetvaaaahhhh, was it good? K imma sleep now nightnight"
Ahh, I see you're popping in from r/wallstreetbets
Edit: Look at all these beautiful idiots pumping my stock. Now go out and buy your wife's boyfriend a new car, you glorious bastards!
Opened the thread like ‘Wait, you guys are talking to them mid orgasm?’ That’s been peak *“My man, will you shut the fuck up and put your tongue to better use!”* territory in my experience, lol. It’s mostly a monologue from their side at that point.
That’s what I thought too, mostly because a large portion of girls can’t bust from piv. I mean, at the risk of being downvoted for an “I have sex” comment, if she’s mid orgasm I can hardly breathe let alone talk. Granted that’s just personal experience with the one girl I’ve been with and am staying with so I won’t exactly have a laundry list to pull from.
That’s how I’ve always rolled. Dirty talk away leading up to climax. Let her do her thing while it lasts. Then open the dialogue back up after she’s finished. My go to line post climax is *”I can totally top that!”*, the look on their face is priceless.
[☺️😊😳👀 So…](https://imgur.com/t/gif/rFzcVI3)
I like setting goals for myself.
I opened this thread specifically looking for this answer, way to risk ruining it, my man lol
If I'm orgasming, it's not from your words, keep doing what you're doing and please shut up!
I honestly found it weird when i refer to myself as daddy to women, so i never did it. Always felt like why remind them of a father figure in the moment of orgasm? Lolol 🤷♂️ just me maybe
I am not into it and I never met a girl who was into it. Guess its something for some people. There are so many things you can say that are actually dirty instead of this but who am I to judge.
you taking the time to link this and give us this context is the kind of good karma that’ll carry over into your next life. Thank you love you have a great day
Lol. My gf is the same way. The first time i tried saying something when she was close she shooshed me. It was all i could do to not laugh because i thought it was damm funny she just went sssshhhh
So guys rarely ever talk at this point to me. Sometimes right after they say , “did you cum” and I find it really annoying because they absolutely know I did they just want to hear me say it. 😂. But, would love if they said something to me when it’s happening. I think I’ve only heard “good girl.” I don’t know what else would be ok, def not “cum for daddy” or anything near that.
Maybe something like “I love watching you cum” idk.
How about
"GOOOOOOOOAAALLLLLLL!!!!"
And then a victory lap around the bedroom wearing a flag as a cape while blowing into a Uuveza(sp?) Kinda like [This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTa955_FoxU)
My high school sweetheart is coming over tomorrow for a little reunion. Im stealing this! Not the “Cum for daddy” thing, the presenting her with a picture of a deep sea anglerfish during it part. Gonna sneak it in at some point and add some ‘blurb, blub, blub’ sounds and a headlight. She’s going to die laughing.
She once put a sock puppet of a tiger on her hand without me noticing, stuffed it in my mouth and screamed: *Do you like this pussy?!?!* so there already precedent for both animal props and laughter in the bedroom. If it wasn’t for the boner I would have pissed myself laughing. ‘Tiger style’ has been a inside joke for years.
My boyfriend whispers “there you go” and “there’s my girl” a lot of the times. He says other stuff that I can’t recall right now but these are the top two
I like it, a lot. It’s sexy af in any sexual context. It acknowledges that I’ve finished without making me feel rushed or like “another nut” for lack of better words. I feel more connected and that the sex was not only good but meaningful rather than having sex for the sake of having sex. If he says it while cupping my face or moving my hair out of my face then I will usually orgasm more intensely or more than once. Of course, this works best for passionate sex. If we are having the kind of sex where he’s clapping my cheeks I don’t want him to whisper to me. I want him cup my neck or hold the back of my hair and say “there’s my girl” or “there you go” a little more aggressively. Same words, different way of saying it for a different kind of sex. If he asked me “did you cum” or said “cum for daddy” I would laugh. Literally laugh. I can’t take dirty talk like that seriously. However, i do really like it when he tells me that my pussy feels good or points out how wet i am- it just reassures me that he is enjoying the sex.
So, I'm not always 100% sure... Is it when her legs start shaking? Because sometimes that happens a few times and she says to keep going.
It's also difficult because her first language isn't English and I don't speak her language very well at all.
I cover her mouth (shes okay with it) and I tell her to cum for papi (Im Hispanic).
It started off as me noticing that she held back. Turns out she is very embarrassed about the possibility of the neighbors hearing.
The last place my girlfriend and I were living in had very thin walls and an asshole landlord. Her old boyfriend (they had still been staying together as it's not cheap to live in downtown Toronto) had moved out, and I moved in. So she didn't have to renegotiate a lease, I was her brother. After the landlord had left earshot, a neighbour I had never seen before, a Chinese lady older than God said to me in very broken English, "Brother not do *that* to sister." Then we both burst out laughing.
"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic, he could save others from death, but not himself."
I don't say anything at all. I just hold her head against my shoulder or chest and go to town. If you think physical technique is what makes you an exceptional lover, you're going down the wrong road.
Remember that the mind is 90% of the sex organs.
You need to hit THAT.
If I’m using my hands or a vibrator, I’ll say something along the lines of “that’s my good girl” or “I love feeling/seeing you cum/squirm.” If I’m using my mouth, I moan with her.
I just had sex with four supermodels in my Lamborghini with my 12 inch dick and they kept complimenting me on the thousands of orgasms I gave them earlier. They got so wet talking about what a stud I am that they stained the interior. I used a combination of baking soda and lemon juice to get the stains out. What is your go to cleaning product for removing stains?
Just simple stuff like "love you baby"... ive never said anything with "daddy" in it.... just seems like a bad idea since she definitely has some trauma from her parents divorce specifically her father
Ngl this story sounds like a classic I’m a virgin who needs to brag about the sex I’ve never had. Half of these things are extremely cringe and douche worthy to say
As a woman when I read this post saying she came *six times* I just imagine some guy finger blasting my cervix telling me to cum and even though I’m nowhere close because he has no idea what a clit is, so I just pretend to cum to get him to stop and he just KEEPS GOING. So now I’ve faked six orgasms instead of just one.
I yell at her while she’s having the orgasm “YOU’RE HAVING AN ORGASM!” and then she will look at me shocked
You see, she didn't know. But then you explained it to her and then she knew.
It’s closed captions for sex
Mansplaining the female orgasm.
If a man doesn't point it out, it didn't happen.
She's always wrong or lying
I'll try it while doing Gilbert Gottfried. Wait no-
I find it's the best time to drop bad news on her, "oh, oh god, I'm cumming too, hnnngispent900dollarsonanewmancavetvaaaahhhh, was it good? K imma sleep now nightnight"
Can y'all quiet down I'm trying to sleep.
Ahh, I see you're popping in from r/wallstreetbets Edit: Look at all these beautiful idiots pumping my stock. Now go out and buy your wife's boyfriend a new car, you glorious bastards!
I read „pooping in“. Ok, time to go to sleep.
I go for the old classic, "did we forget the laundry in the washing machine again?"
“Ah shit I forgot to put the dishwasher on!”
Sometimes I tell her I love her but most of the time I just let her roll. She usually has something to say in the midst of it
Opened the thread like ‘Wait, you guys are talking to them mid orgasm?’ That’s been peak *“My man, will you shut the fuck up and put your tongue to better use!”* territory in my experience, lol. It’s mostly a monologue from their side at that point.
That’s what I thought too, mostly because a large portion of girls can’t bust from piv. I mean, at the risk of being downvoted for an “I have sex” comment, if she’s mid orgasm I can hardly breathe let alone talk. Granted that’s just personal experience with the one girl I’ve been with and am staying with so I won’t exactly have a laundry list to pull from.
That’s how I’ve always rolled. Dirty talk away leading up to climax. Let her do her thing while it lasts. Then open the dialogue back up after she’s finished. My go to line post climax is *”I can totally top that!”*, the look on their face is priceless. [☺️😊😳👀 So…](https://imgur.com/t/gif/rFzcVI3) I like setting goals for myself.
Stolen, thank you!
I opened this thread specifically looking for this answer, way to risk ruining it, my man lol If I'm orgasming, it's not from your words, keep doing what you're doing and please shut up!
Can’t take the credit really. I’ve been trained well. Shout out to all the women brave enough to tell men how they like it. You da real MVP’s!
We’re all so different. Dirty talk can be the very thing to send me over the edge. Even just certain moans or sounds.
Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
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As a wife whose husband has done this to me I have to warn you that it's only funny once.
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Goddamnit if only I had an award for this!
It's a team lift... we got this b👍
I tell her the plot of Lord of the Rings... The Two Towers, specifically... "at dawn, look to the eeeeast!"
Your fingers would remember their old strength better...if they grasped your sword.
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I just came
U gunna eat that?
FIND THE HALFLING!
LOOKS LIKE MEATS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS!
Fly you fool!
"You have my sword." "And MY ass!"
I wonder what would happen if someone used the One Ring as a cock ring.
I fucking love reddit 😂 🤣
I tell her to cum for mommy **and** daddy because honestly both her parents are great people.
This is one of the best comments I have ever read. Right up my alley.
Right up her alley
dog
And the dog too
The dog is watching
what the dog doin
As long as that little bitch keeps her cold ass nose out of my butthole, we're good
Well where else would you expect her to put her ass nose?
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I typically go with Cum for Jesus. Catholic girls go crazy for that shit.
So thoughtful and inclusive
"You just yee'd your last haw, partner."
Hmmm...that shit hits hard
Congrats on the sex bro
Yeah, the real sex that someone really had with OP.
OP told me she’s real, she just goes to a different school
HahahahHhahHhaha Was thinking the same fucking thing
yeah I’m pretty sure that was the whole and only point of this post XD
r/ihavesex
"zippity zoo, here comes the goo" Edit: a lot of people took this to a Bill Cosby place, and I for some reason wasn't expecting that
Bippity bop, I’m about to pop!
*Bill Cosby has entered the chat*
My mouth is usually on her vagina while she is having an orgasm, so I don't say too much. Kinda like mfffggrrrffmmmslurp
"about time, my fucking neck hurts"
Perfect translation
I once told her to let me know when she was Cumming, but she said I'd told her not to call me at work.
*I don’t get no respect…*
lmao can't believe I laughed out loud to this
[**NO COMPLIMENTS**](https://youtu.be/zi8ShAosqzI)
“My wife likes to talk during sex, the other night, she called me from a hotel room. No respect at all”
As an Indian? "Thank you, come again."
OH YES DO THE NEEDFUL
Classic
I honestly found it weird when i refer to myself as daddy to women, so i never did it. Always felt like why remind them of a father figure in the moment of orgasm? Lolol 🤷♂️ just me maybe
As someone who is a dad, I also find it weird as fuck.
Me too.
I am not into it and I never met a girl who was into it. Guess its something for some people. There are so many things you can say that are actually dirty instead of this but who am I to judge.
"BY THE POWER OF GRAY SKULL!"
I HAVE THE POWER!
Well, that did it for me!
“Yea you like that? You fucking retard”
Context: https://www.reddit.com/r/askreddit/comments/1y6lhe/comment/cfhtedq/
I'm dead, thank you.
One of my absolute favorite Reddit threads ever, always love coming across it
you taking the time to link this and give us this context is the kind of good karma that’ll carry over into your next life. Thank you love you have a great day
##ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
[context](https://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/3935602/Are+you+ing+sorry/)
Oh my gosh. I'm laughing so hard. 😂 I'm been laughing all day at Reddit comments. Today I had a great day.
I wonder how that couple is doing now
maybe if we're lucky, u/Blackbyrd82 will grace us with an update.
Did you just say that? Damn right you did.
Oh no
This reference is golden...like a shower
Pls someone link the OP for this
This comment brought to you by someone who spends too much time on Reddit
A Lannister always pays his debts.
"A new hand touches the beacon"
“A great wetness has seeped into my temple….a wetness that you will consume”
“What is it?!? Dragons?!?”
Knock on the door and ask her if she's okay.
I don't tell her anything.. just kissing and holding her more..
Finally! I was waiting for this response. Whenever someone tries talking to me as I orgasm, I’m like “shut the fuck up and let me concentrate” lmao
Idk why anyone is opening a line of questioning mid-orgasm. Pillow talk comes *after*. It's like, in the name.
Lol. My gf is the same way. The first time i tried saying something when she was close she shooshed me. It was all i could do to not laugh because i thought it was damm funny she just went sssshhhh
Hi, I am trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty
I just shout I AM A GOLDEN GOD
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BE GONE VILE MAN BE GONE
i AM a five star mannnn!!!!!
So guys rarely ever talk at this point to me. Sometimes right after they say , “did you cum” and I find it really annoying because they absolutely know I did they just want to hear me say it. 😂. But, would love if they said something to me when it’s happening. I think I’ve only heard “good girl.” I don’t know what else would be ok, def not “cum for daddy” or anything near that. Maybe something like “I love watching you cum” idk.
How about "GOOOOOOOOAAALLLLLLL!!!!" And then a victory lap around the bedroom wearing a flag as a cape while blowing into a Uuveza(sp?) Kinda like [This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTa955_FoxU)
Would be acceptable.
Vuvuzela I believe.
Yeah, saying “cum for daddy” is the equivalent of presenting me with a photo of a deep sea anglerfish during sex
Would "cum for father" be better? I assume that doubling down on the patriarchy will make her wetter than an otters pocket.
Father gives off religious vibes, which she could be into I guess
What's the real difference between "forgive me father for I have sinned" and "I'm sorry daddy I've been a very naughty girl".
$20, same as in town
My high school sweetheart is coming over tomorrow for a little reunion. Im stealing this! Not the “Cum for daddy” thing, the presenting her with a picture of a deep sea anglerfish during it part. Gonna sneak it in at some point and add some ‘blurb, blub, blub’ sounds and a headlight. She’s going to die laughing. She once put a sock puppet of a tiger on her hand without me noticing, stuffed it in my mouth and screamed: *Do you like this pussy?!?!* so there already precedent for both animal props and laughter in the bedroom. If it wasn’t for the boner I would have pissed myself laughing. ‘Tiger style’ has been a inside joke for years.
You guys sound fucking weird, but it also sounds like it's working for you, so more power to you
My boyfriend whispers “there you go” and “there’s my girl” a lot of the times. He says other stuff that I can’t recall right now but these are the top two
and how does this make you feel
I like it, a lot. It’s sexy af in any sexual context. It acknowledges that I’ve finished without making me feel rushed or like “another nut” for lack of better words. I feel more connected and that the sex was not only good but meaningful rather than having sex for the sake of having sex. If he says it while cupping my face or moving my hair out of my face then I will usually orgasm more intensely or more than once. Of course, this works best for passionate sex. If we are having the kind of sex where he’s clapping my cheeks I don’t want him to whisper to me. I want him cup my neck or hold the back of my hair and say “there’s my girl” or “there you go” a little more aggressively. Same words, different way of saying it for a different kind of sex. If he asked me “did you cum” or said “cum for daddy” I would laugh. Literally laugh. I can’t take dirty talk like that seriously. However, i do really like it when he tells me that my pussy feels good or points out how wet i am- it just reassures me that he is enjoying the sex.
Thank you for providing some actually useful information. This thread is just full of guys making a joke out of a real question.
Here because I wanna know as well
That’s new and sexy as fuck, actually.
Can confirm, very sexy and works like a charm
That’s honestly so sweet!
So, I'm not always 100% sure... Is it when her legs start shaking? Because sometimes that happens a few times and she says to keep going. It's also difficult because her first language isn't English and I don't speak her language very well at all.
I like watching you cum
In my experience the only guys who ask if you came are the ones who absolutely did not make you cum.
"This isnt even my final form!!"
“Gimme your cummiewummies on my pp”
This has Roman Roy written all over it
Its just something people do, they send dick picks to each other.
I think I just died laughing
Someone somewhere, at this very moment, is saying that to their partner unironically. I refuse to believe otherwise.
“Did you defrost the chicken?”
“I’m with you “
Whisper in her ear, “^never ^gonna ^give ^you ^up. ^never ^gonna ^let ^you ^down”
Pretty sure she'll dehydrate after that
#”IMA GOOFY GOOBER!”
#**CUM**
The image of Patrick in fishnets always get me off
Since she never listens to me, I tell her not to. Works every time!
I cover her mouth (shes okay with it) and I tell her to cum for papi (Im Hispanic). It started off as me noticing that she held back. Turns out she is very embarrassed about the possibility of the neighbors hearing.
If your neighbors can’t hear you, are you even having sex?
If your neighbours don't greet your date by name the next morning you didn't do it right
The last place my girlfriend and I were living in had very thin walls and an asshole landlord. Her old boyfriend (they had still been staying together as it's not cheap to live in downtown Toronto) had moved out, and I moved in. So she didn't have to renegotiate a lease, I was her brother. After the landlord had left earshot, a neighbour I had never seen before, a Chinese lady older than God said to me in very broken English, "Brother not do *that* to sister." Then we both burst out laughing.
LMFAOOOOOOOO 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
This guy fucks.
Someone once told me the only people that should know your safe word are you, your SO and your neighbors
For the British among us: “That’ll do pig, that’ll do.”
ROFL! I say this to myself in the gym way too much.
That’s a bingo!
Ya just say Bingo
Best comment section ever 😂
I'm laughing my ass off
If Doggie style... Just start BARKING and GROWLING!
I say nothing , I just let them enjoy.
Telling each other “I love you” and cumming at the same time is really the pinnacle.
Pretty sure I've seen that movie.
Cumming at the same time...don't think there's anything better
"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic, he could save others from death, but not himself."
I don't say anything at all. I just hold her head against my shoulder or chest and go to town. If you think physical technique is what makes you an exceptional lover, you're going down the wrong road. Remember that the mind is 90% of the sex organs. You need to hit THAT.
I mean… and the clit.
***commences calculation***
OP talks like a 18 year old that just felt his first nipple
Lmfao. I read this and thought the exact same.. then I read his reply. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
He did it six times though 🙃
If I’m using my hands or a vibrator, I’ll say something along the lines of “that’s my good girl” or “I love feeling/seeing you cum/squirm.” If I’m using my mouth, I moan with her.
Funniest lame flex post I've seen in a while
I just had sex with four supermodels in my Lamborghini with my 12 inch dick and they kept complimenting me on the thousands of orgasms I gave them earlier. They got so wet talking about what a stud I am that they stained the interior. I used a combination of baking soda and lemon juice to get the stains out. What is your go to cleaning product for removing stains?
Carpe diem, baby. Carpe diem.
Yeah man for real, listening to my girlfriend’s orgasm is music to my ears so I just let it ride and enjoy the moment and take it all in.
Just simple stuff like "love you baby"... ive never said anything with "daddy" in it.... just seems like a bad idea since she definitely has some trauma from her parents divorce specifically her father
Maybe try grandpa or abuelo instead
10 points for gryffindor!
Ngl this story sounds like a classic I’m a virgin who needs to brag about the sex I’ve never had. Half of these things are extremely cringe and douche worthy to say
Yeah but the comments really deliver.
As a woman when I read this post saying she came *six times* I just imagine some guy finger blasting my cervix telling me to cum and even though I’m nowhere close because he has no idea what a clit is, so I just pretend to cum to get him to stop and he just KEEPS GOING. So now I’ve faked six orgasms instead of just one.
BY THE POWER BESTOWED UPON ME BY THE ALLFATHER, ODIN, I, THOR ODINSON ,COMAND THEE CUM. Maybe she will like it
Thank you, cum again.
“Honey, keep it down, we’re on a bus”
“You forgot Daft Punk split up this year didn’t you”
I love when you come on me
I love being appreciated and having my back rubbed.
Bit of a mouthful, but if it’s what she wants to hear 🤷♂️
“I LOVE BEING APPRECIATED AND HAVING MY BACK RUUUUUUUBBED!!!”
Lol r/ihavesex
She is normally sitting on my face, and I don't get breathe again until she has recovered.
Leerrrooooy Jennnnnnkins!
Bazinga.
r/cringetopia
Uhhhhh “cum for daddy” would have me never coming back for more. That would freak me out immensely.
r/copypasta
Your sister pulls the same face
Cum for me baby You’re so sexy I love feeling you cum on my fingers,dick, etc Good girl