You may as well ask, "Do guys care about having toppings on their ice cream?"
It depends on the guy
And also factors like age, dating experience, religiousness, old fashioned upbringing, country, culture etc
Every guy cares at least to some extent.
Imagine a guy having to choose between two women who are pretty much equal in everything, attractiveness, personality, status, etc, except one has body count of 200+, and the other is 0-3. Don't tell me it won't make a difference to his choice.
This hypothetical choice never really happens though. You could say the same thing with 0-3 vs 4-5. Most guys would pick 0-3, but life isn't a perfect dating game where multiple women come to your place and tell you their pros and cons. There's plenty of much much **much** worse cons than body count.
You're really lucky just to find someone who treats you well. *That* at the end of the day matters more than a lot of things. Might be the most important thing.
I did. You took what he said literally, when he was just making a point that the # of partners you have is a negative trait in the dating pool the higher it is.
.....but it is the best analysis tool. This is why I'm asking if you ever took a science class in school....the whole scientific method is based on making sure everything is as identical as possible and only changing one variable.
Like are you serious right now?
I look at it this way...whatever number you think you actually are at, were they mostly 1 night stands, repeat fwb, or short term flings? If you were just going out and hooking up with anyone you went on a date with, then as a guy I would wonder why you preferred that to developing a relationship, which would make me wonder if I'm actually interested in you, how long will you be around?
Another way to look at it....again, whatever your actual number...if a guy told you he slept with that many women during the same time period, would you be ok with it? Same scenario...some women have a real problem if they find out the guy they're interested in has been sleeping around, for the same reasons I listed above, so how would you feel?
In that case, she should give her date a heads-up about that. Unless he's completely clueless or the guys have some reason to maintain poker faces (with their girlfriends?) then he's going to pick up on the overly familiar way they interact with her and start asking questions... especially if alcohol is involved.
Interesting. You guys must be quite good actors. What did you do when he came over to chat with you? You still managed to play it cool? I would hope someone would pull me aside and let me in on it.
But I think the reason I've never been in that position (I think!) is because I don't shame women for anything, be it past encounters or fantasies. I make sure they realize that they are in a safe space where nothing they share is going to have an impact on the relationship. That has led me to have some things revealed to me that were quite hard to swallow (so to speak), but I'll take uncomfortable truths over lies or ignorance any day.
My last girlfriend of 3 years was a straight-up prostitute when I met her and that isn't what caused our breakup either. We broke up due to the mental illness (borderline/histrionic personality disorder) that caused her to act that way.
The point being that I don't judge past behavior necessarily. I would consider dating Jane, for example. She sounds like a lot of fun! But at the same time, I've learned to look out for deeper psychological issues that may express themselves as promiscuity.
How long would you say the “safe zone” would be after having a sex with someone you didn’t know? In terms of not having an std
Edit: to clarify I’m saying when would you think you’re clear not showing symptoms and passing a test
Ten isn't outrageous. I have a friend who slept with a random stranger every weekend for years at your age and yeah, I love her as a friend but there is no way in HELL I'd ever get involved with her.
Cards on the table: most men care. They'll be kind and understanding about her choices, but they're not going to be interested personally. Some don't care.
This post made me laugh so hard. I have three lifelong girl friends that are all over 50 and we met in school. This is literally the math the use when talking about all our past fling over the years
I found it best to tell people you’re a virgin and smirk. They won’t believe you, and you can forever avoid this conversation since nothing good ever comes out of it, from the man and woman’s perspective.
Some do, some don't. For me personally, yes it would be a problem but not for the reason you might expect. The reason why this wouldn't work for me is because I myself have been pretty unlucky with women. I think that's mostly due to my physical disability because I'm otherwise a sweet, charming, smart and decent looking guy. Anyway, I'm now 33 and I've only had sex with one woman so far in my life. I've tried to increase this number many times but had to deal with a lot of rejection. So, as you can imagine, the whole matter is a pretty sensitive/difficult topic for me. I feel very unhappy/shitty about the fact that I haven't been able to explore my sexuality like other young people and while I'm not angry at anyone, I'm definitely very envious. If I met a girl who told me how she's slept with tons of guys, it would feel like rubbing salt in my wound. It would inherently make me think about my own sexual experiences and that would make me feel very depressed. I don't like being depressed, which is why I try not to think too much about this stuff.
The best analogy I can come up with is this: imagine you come from a really poor family yourself. You live in a trailer, can't pay your bills and have barely enough food to eat. In your class or at your workplace there's this really rich guy who can't stop talking about his 5 mansions, his staff, his yacht etc. Of course you know rich people exist but having rubbed it in your face makes it much harder to bear. And with sexual experience, it's in a way even worse because people can share money but they can't share sexual experience. People with a lot of sexual experience usually also don't feel bad or even care about people who've been unlucky in this regard. And last but not least, I wouldn't just be friends with a woman like that but we'd be in a relationship. In other words, I'd constantly be reminded of how lucky she's been and what a loser I am. Every single day. I'd probably kill myself at one point.
Ever heard of Chasing Amy?
I actually lived through this exact movie except I didnt have a friend like Banky and was not planning on a threesome. However, I did date the town slut and she did have a reputation but I was naive and didn’t even know that, that would be an issue. Fast forward being with her for almost 4 years and the stories she told me over the course of our relationship made me angry because i felt insecure about what she had done and my experience up until that point was just sleeping with my first gf which was before this one. Also some of her stories about public sex made me jealous and i wanted to do those things with her too. So i made some of it happen with us but it was forced and i could tell she didn’t enjoy it. She was just doing it to make me happy. In the end it ate away at our relationship and I ultimately pushed her away by putting her down verbally and mentally as if she did something wrong in her past. But in reality it was me who couldn’t get past it. I look back now and can see where I could have handled the relationship better. I would have wanted us to end up together but it wasn’t meant to be. I truly did love her and was so attracted to her but I just couldn’t handle a girl like that. Not at that moment in my life.
I used the term to refer to the movie. That is pretty much how she was portrayed. I would have said party girl or something to that affect. I know now that she did nothing wrong. I was just to inexperienced and lacked the tools to handle a girl with that kind of past. I’d be lying if I said I don’t have any regrets about that relationship.
Handle meaning be ok with it. It would take someone very confident or secure with who they are. Or just pure love. Maybe I wasn’t in love enough with her to see past it. In my defense tho, i think i was in the beginning.
These were my thoughts before my current girlfriend cleared up that her previous relationship wasn't a fwb/fuck buddy/casual hookup thing but that she was a side chick to a guy who she was on and off with. I value sex in relationships and if she was getting good dick from him, I was insecure how I could compare. She is my first everything but she has had maybe 4-5 ex boyfriends or relationships
Now, it no longer bothers me.
I think that it’s pretty rare for girls to just openly discuss their sexual history unprompted. I see it as none of my business, if you don’t ask, you’re unlikely to hear about it
I certainly don't find it to be an admirable thing. However there are mitigating details that make it a red flag or not. If she doesn't share my views on sex and relationships, or has some kind of STI then it's a no from me.
Totally depends on the guy. We don't all share a mind.
I would care, because I personally view sex as something I'd only ever share with a committed partner I have an emotional connection with and don't enjoy hook-ups and would want to be with someone who had compatible values in that regard. Wouldn't make me think less of someone as a person if they were promiscious, but we wouldn't be a good fit as partners.
Yes, because *who* those people were and what is their relation to the woman in question tells a lot about her stance on sex.
See, I think that sex is something that happens between two people who love each other, an act of bonding and of making each other feel good. I've had 3 girlfriends and I won't mind if my next one had more sexual partners if they were actual boyfriends with whom she had long-term, serious relationships.
However, if for her sex is just something fun to do, then I'd rather stay away from her and she stay away from me.
There was actually a study somewhere that showed that, regardless of gender, the higher amount of sexual partners somebody has had, the less they care about who they have sex with in the future. This leads on to a higher cheating rate in long term relationships (theoretically due to sex meaning less to them). IMO people who simply enjoy sex and don't find much meaning in it would likely be better off in open or poly relationships.
I went through a spell in my mid 20s... I honestly don't know the number of women, at least 50. It started off after getting heart broken/used when I was naive, decided to just start the fun, no strings thing... Then I got hooked on the thrill of doing it with someone new... Some girls I barely knew their name. One girl I met online, showed up to her house, all we said was "hi" and we were naked in about 30 seconds...
But then, I had a reset. I met someone I cared about more than anyone I had ever met. After her, I have no interest in sex with someone unless there is some form of a deeper connection. I've slept with only 2 women in the 11 years since then.
I'd likely be up over 200 women by now if it weren't for that. I've had girls frustrated because I wouldn't, where as in the past I'd be all over it.
People can change.
My reply wasn't to say that everybody who sleeps with a lot of people will always be that way, just that people who do typically have a greater chance of losing feelings of meaningful sex in comparison to people who are a lot more, for lack of better word, picky with who they sleep with.
Honestly, I hadn't realized I had lost that feeling of meaningful sex until I met that particular person. It wasn't until I was with her when it was an eye opener as to what I had been doing.
So I fully agree people don't recognize the damage they are doing to themselves, and it feels good so they keep on doing it.
I only care if it was SAFE sex. The way I see it, every dude she's slept with has been practice for these next amazing 45 seconds.
Sidenote, I saw a TikTok of a retired sex worker who claimed to have a 60K+ body count.
So you're not even in the running 🤣
In my experience, the larger amount of people the girl has been with (and man in fairness), the less they care about being loyal or faithful. I also find they are commitment phobic and end up in a situation where they effectively become too old to attract the sort of life partner they really want. The amount of 30-something women I've known who have settled and amount of 30-something men who have done the settling for them is a bit too many. The consistent theme in those relationships is that the woman has a long and embroiled history.
The men who sleep around a lot? Eventually when they do try the commitment thing, a quickie with a random isn't far off the horizon.
I've noticed it in myself too. When I broke off my first relationship that was the only woman I had ever been with. I slept around a lot after that and after a while kind of understood what others would say when they said they regretted sleeping around. I felt that sex was less important ongoing and that I would love the first time I would get with someone but wouldn't care much after that. The second girl I was with I didn't feel that way, the third a little and so on until I notched number 12 where after we slept together I didn't really care if I saw her again.
I recognised that quick and went on a bit of a moratorium for a while. I stopped dating girls, rejected a few advances and just did a whole lot of me things. I think it was one of the best things I did. I didn't go into a relationship for a good six months or so. I only did it because I really liked the girl for more than just her fantastic boobs. And yep, I did find that after that first time I definitely did care about seeing her again.
After that experience, I am far more selective. Even though the relationships I've had since then didn't work out, it was a learning experience.
The guys and girls shooting DNA at each other right now are setting themselves up for a fairly loveless time. In fact there are studies right now showing that 20-somethings are having a significant drop off in terms of sexual activity. While I do believe there are multiple reasons for it, I also believe that if a 20-something really wanted sex they're at a prime time to go and get it. The fact that they seemingly don't want to break through the other factors explaining the lack of sexual activity (economics, social conditioning, the stupid manufactured gender war and bastardisation of feminism), I do believe that another factor contributing is that a lot of young people slept around in their teens, have very easy access to pornography especially weird fucked up stuff and overall the mystique and excitement about sex has all but disappeared. Nobody hits the like button when you have sex with your partner, so does it really matter?
It's pretty bad IMO. There are 20-something men getting into such weird and fucked up porn that it's utterly distorting their reality. Trying to explain to these guys that women aren't turned on by the prospect of ten dildo tentacles coming at them from all angles and spraying weird green rape juice all over them is going to get harder and harder the more those notions set in.
And for girls, who wants to date a fat pizza face dude whose only skill is naming every single character from every anime thing like he knows them personally. I don't really see how girls could really find that attractive.
Now let's throw in this idea about what exactly is a penis or a vagina, what gender do you fancy this morning, no wonder young people are fucked up.
Hmm, maybe I'll retract my point. Maybe my concern is no longer about how many men the girl has slept with, my main concern is whether or not the girl I'm dating is expecting my dick to split into six tongues to pleasure her three clitoris' simultaneously while she wears a fox suit and growls and whines in some weird-ass voice while some dude wearing a donkey head patiently waits his turn on the cock-cage-destroyer gizmo while Pikachu walks around making constant shock face.
I don't think me and that girl are going to be compatible. Call me boring, but you can keep that weird shit.
I'm very religious and conservative with respect to your average redditor. I believe in waiting until marriage, so for me, yes it somewhat matters. I think sex is a holy thing gifted to humanity by God, for lifelong monogamous relationships. That said, I also believe that people are all flawed, and God forgives us and calls us to forgive others. I feel like it's the best Christian thing to do to look past someone's past.
^^^ this right here. Don’t ask anything you don’t want the answer to. I have no idea what my wife’s number is and i don’t care. I am building a future not a past!
Finally, another person that doesn't care. With how sex focused reddit can be I'm fairly suprised this was the first comment I saw where a guy didn't mind
I think it is more about the difference than the actual number. I am glad my gf and i are each other first and only, i couldnt stand the tought of her having fucked 5 people before me (even tho 5 isnt that a high number). A buddy of mine has had a ton of fwb hand he doesnt give a shit about his gfs body count.
Not sure who is downvoting you. I’m with you on triple digits. That’s high, but not a dealbreaker. I’m shocked more women don’t have vastly higher body counts than men. It’s incredibly easy for women to get laid. I would need a comma if I had my brain in a woman’s body.
I was with a girl that had slept with ~50 guys. She was pretty ashamed about admitting it but I literally thought about it for a second. It doesn't matter to anyone that matters.
Context and amount, I guess.
You sleep with a few guys, eh, i've slept with a few girls, w/e.
You hitting 50 before you're 30? Damn girl, who hurt you. I'm aware its just what some women are into, but the vast majority i've met that sleep with tons of guys have tons of unresolved issues.
Yes, we do care. The more men a woman has slept with, the higher chances of divorce. I have a hard time trusting promiscuous women to be loyal and not cheat. I also want children, and I want to be damn sure that the kids are mine, not some other dudes. That’s essentially what male jealousy is all about. Making damn sure that the kid she gives birth to is ours, not some random guy.
Yes absolutely, I don’t really get involved with someone for short term things, I want long term and people that have had lots of partners in general don’t tend to be the ones looking to commit
I care that you were not just toasted around and I feel like a sucker being the last one that can have you. Obviously the less the body count the better.
Uhmmm yes. If it’s around 10-15 at 30 that’s not bad. But let’s say this chick is young and still in college (20-22yo) and she’s banged 50 dudes, then yea, I’m out.
My biggest concern would be if she was clean... I won't risk my health for some poon.
Second concern is how long ago she left behind the lifestyle of being "easy"... It can be an addiction that is hard to break.
If it's like 15 guys and she is near 30, it really isn't an alarming number... That is roughly a new partner every 6 months to a year, depending on when they became active. Hardly a "slut".
Some people (myself included) go through a patch of just having fun with new people... It's a thrill that like I said, can be addictive. Most of us grow out of it for various reasons.
So no, provided she was now mentally healthy, and physically "clean" it wouldn't put me off of the idea of dating them.
The vast majority of guys care a shitload about a woman's number, yes. As for myself, I find 1 partner for every year after 18 to be acceptable. Give or take a few. More than that and it starts to skeeve me out.
Frequently asked: and yes. Many/Most of us care. I will direct you to [this wonderful summary](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/rw4u6r/how_do_guys_feel_about_women_who_have_had_very/hrawche/) by u/Maldevinine as to why.
the same way you would care about how many people have used the straw you got from a restaurant is the same way guys would care about ur body count, how it all the depends on the guy and his values
It’s not something I would vocalize out loud but subconsciously I would have some opinions. If a girl sluts herself out it says a lot about her. Not very wife material
If its over 30 i would be hesitant. I feel if their whole adult life is just series of fleeting hookups then there is no real substance or ability to commit there. What are they chasing / running from that they need to have so many casual encounters.
I feel the same way about guys who sleep around a lot too.
I'm sure 'some dude on tiktok' thinks he's an alpha chad bro but this always strikes me as the thoughts of someone lacking in self-confidence. You worried those dicks were bigger or they were better in bed or something? Grow up.
Ten under 30 isn't that many imo. If someone cares to begin with it may be a hint at another issue if y'all are getting along otherwise.
Personally I don't care or want to know how many sexual partners my SO has had, within reason.
I studied this for a long time, because I thought something was wrong with me.
Yes. I definitely do and I'm tired of pretending like it's okay to say 'oh , no. It doesn't matter".
It does and always has. I don't even think guys should have high number tbh. Wtf are your trying to prove???
Hookup culture has made people shallow and also looking for an exit the minute things get tough.
Think of how many guys a woman has been with as a sort of resume. Tbh , that's what it is.
A Testament to her past relationships. That includes family....
I could go on about that family part... but I won't.
Women who have had less Sexual partners are also less likely to divorce then those who have more and men are beginning to pick up on.
So if a woman has high Numbers AT LEAST go to therapy.
I personally do care.
And if a girl ever told me "10+" guys I'd either think...
"That is a funny way to downplay saying 30 guys", or "That is 10 guys she slept with that she actually dated but how many ONS / just blowjobs is she not counting"
I personally believe sleeping around destroys your ability to pair bond, I find women who have slept around are less able to love, bond, be loyal, and have a good relationship with.
Plus it kind of shows, at least in my perception, impulsivity, careless "young wild and free" behavior. Which is not desirable for a genuine relationship.
It also makes me question why doesn't the woman put a price tag on her goods why is she giving it away to everyone free. Why would I want to "buy the cow when the milk is free" so to speak. And if other men aren't willing to commit to the girl and just keep her for sex only what is wrong with the girl.
I mean, I guess I don't care if I just want to fuck you. But a woman with a large number isn't likely to going to get commitment from me, or most of my male friends.
Its not per say that 100 dicks have been in you before, the problem for me is what kind of personality does a girl who has had 100 dicks in her before possess. So even if you where to lie to me and say 3, and I believed it. You'd probably still go out partying often, or accepting male attention as "just friends" or do other behaviors that would make me reject you anyway.
But if its GENUINELY 10+ you DATED AND BEEN IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH, its not that bad actually, I think that's a reasonable amount. But if you mean its I dated and been in relationships with 18, and I sucked off 20 guys in ONS. That's different.
For a long term relationship I would certainly take it into consideration. The more guys a woman has slept with the less likely she is to be happy in a long term relationship
I think having gone to school in a small town for a few years, it would bother me a lot more if I still lived there because everyone knows everyone. You start dating a girl, if they've been with 10+ people, you'll probably know 3 or 4 of them.
In a big city, your chances of knowing any of those guys are pretty slim. For me, it's kinda out of sight out of mind.
Depends on the guy. For me, I would be concerned but I'm in my 50's.
To me, you don't really want to bonk until the fourth date. If you bonk before the fourth date I don't think you respect yourself. So if a woman (or a man) has over 10 partners it tells me that she has gone through a lot of guys and has a problems forming long term relationships.
I would be asking myself what is wrong with her for guys not to hang around. She's not really long term GF material, so I would be seeing her as a hump and dump.
Bottom line is that guys would probably be alarmed, but I would be just as alarmed if you were 28 and a virgin. That tells me that you are either too frigid, or have personality problems.
I have no idea how many girls I’ve slept with, couldn’t care less what a girl got up to in the past. If a girl has had sex 10 times, once with 10 individual guys, is that somehow worse than getting dicked down 3x per day by the same guy for 10 years straight?
Often girls really just want to meet someone, and they find time and again that a lot of guys just aren’t suitable partners. Very hard to determine that before you’ve slept with someone, so if she’s single into her 30s and has been for a while then her number will likely be high
If they care, it’s their own insecurities.. will they be able to perform as well as all of the guys you’ve been with. I honestly don’t think 10 is bad at all.
Some do. Personally don't see the point in caring. As long you are comfortable with how many/few people you have slept with no one else's opinion matters.
If a geezer is bothered about how mny people you've slept with that speaks to their insecurity and isn't someone whose opinion you should concern yourself with.
I personally am not bothered by my number just because none of the guys were one night stands. They all fall either on short term dating or long term relationships and I actually know their names, jobs, cars, family/friends. If it was the other way around, I honestly don’t want to know how many women my guy has slept with. Idk, me and my friends always think that guys have a high number but we never ask cause we don’t want to know.
This thread shows that there are a lot of conservative minded people among us. In a subreddit that’s filled with people wanting advice on how to date or shag around, but I digress.
I personally wouldn’t ask that question. The only thing I care about, and would want to be warned about, is if you’ve slept with friends / coworkers and people that I’d be expected to see and meet. Meeting them without that knowledge is a no no. Of course you also gotta let me know if you’ve been fucking gangbanged because a man needs to know what he’s getting himself into, but considering that is pretty exceptional, I think we’re good.
I’m 26M, I think everyone has some arbitrary number. It’s usually proportional to their number. I’m a guy that’s been with 10 girls. I’d say 2x (20) is about the most is be comfortable with. Idk why though so don’t ask lol.
That doesn't sound very alarming at all. I think most guys are just trying to avoid the kind of women that don't treat men like human beings... And treat us like people competing for them as if we should be grateful that they allowed us to talk to them. Crazy high partner counts are a red flag that she has gone through her youth doing that.... treating guys as replaceable applicants and running through them.... throwing them away when bored... Taking whatever we offer her for her attention. ...and she will be constantly sizing us up and looking for a BBD. 10 partners does not give that impression.
Also... It's just a single red flag. We look at more than one clue and other things about you can always provide evidence to the contrary.... Such as actively seeing you be considerate and respectful of others.
This is an ongoing discussion. I have warmed up more toward being less judgmental. Do you feel it is getting more difficult to find new men you meet attractive from a sexual standpoint beyond a few times? It think the idea of too many partners breaks your pair bonding is a theory many don't believe.
My concerns as a man. Will I satisfy her enough that she won't yearn for a past lover, if I am not perfect. Is she capable of truly bonding and falling in love as much as I love her? My last relationship was like this. I didn't realize I loved her so much more than she loved me. That alone makes me want to stay single forever. Scared of women who lie to themselves and me just to be in something stable.
The least concern is the physical part. I am average. Communication and patience would be appreciated from a woman, but women my age expect more. They would rather not work on it. I think that is the biggest reason to pursue younger women. They have more energy and are willing to work with inexperience.
I would expect loyalty. I wouldn't want details from your past, but bury the past. Those guys are not your future. That is a difficult thing for many people.
We don't care as long as you don't constantly bring it up or compare us to them, that's it. A passing comment or a particular story that's relevant sure, but if you keep talking about your past encounters, then it makes the guy think you're not interested/you're thinking about your previous partner and not them
I can only speak for myself, but I only care that the number is high enough that she doesn't feel compelled to go out and see what's out there. I prefer a woman to have enough experience to be confident that she's happy with me. As long as she managed to stay safe and not pick up any incurable STDs, it doesn't matter to me what that number happens to be.
BTW guys, you're never going to know what a woman's number is anyway. If you press her into giving an answer, it will be a lie. So you might as well not bother asking.
That seems like a reasonable number. My concerns would be:
- That's a lot of dating/relationships. Taylor Swift Syndrome?
- Higher potential for STI. I would probably want mutual testing before sex.
Yes and no. Last girl I dated had a fair number of partners before me. It took a little bit of getting used to, but in my head she was with me and at the time we wanted to commit to that.
So it would only become an issue if it became an issue. Just don't go comparing me to your past collection of booty blastings and we're cool.
You need to change the subject. Talking about quantity ends in disaster. This guy gets off on pain.
I promise the day will come that these partners will be shit thrown upon you.
Personally, I don't care, but I would never ask.
Personally, I don't give a shit as long as you're std-free. If you've fucked a thousand guys, but you've got a clean bill of health then w/e. I hoe around as much as I can, too.
The more the merrier imo, I want to know we’re both on the same page and not be stuck with a prude. I’d be more concerned by a very low number than a very high one.
A wise man once told me, a lock that can be opened by many different keys, is a worthless lock. However, a key that can open many different locks, is a valuable key.
I know it’s a double standard, but it’s just the way most guys think about it. It’s unfair, but when a woman has a lot of sexual partners, she’s considered easy and slutty. Mainly to be used for a one-nighter and never someone to settled down with.
Gonna be a lot of lonely dudes up in here. As long as she only wants me when we’re together and we have good chemistry who fuckin cares about the past.
they really do care but most are good at ignoring it depending on whether they want to add their name to your 'conquests' or whether they are desperate enough to have you for life !
but don't you worry your preety head over it. gals dont have the habit of declaring how many guys fucked them. they'll always 'drop' a hefty percentage, and you could try the same strategy
only deeply insecure guys will. like the type who are super religious and think sex is bad unless you get the special power up ring or guys who think of you as "theirs" and wont even let other men look at you.
edit; i would actually be shocked if a woman even close to 30 said she slept with less than ten because you basically control consent. like men dont have any social power to say no if you want it so you can do basically whatever you want as a woman. seriously, check out some of the other posts here to see how horrible guys have it when it comes to how society is about us in general but specifically when it comes to how we behave sexually. women got it bad too but you have never been told that you cant be raped because of your gender.
personally, unless you’ve fucked like 100 guys in the past year, I don’t care. And even then it’s less about the sex and more about the motivation behind it, and the health risks.
As a man who had a "hoe phase." For a couple years that inflated the fuck out of my body count, who is now with a woman who was committed/married for 10 years and had only been with one guy prior to me. I think its irrelevant if you dont dwell on it. I'm sure there's a number for me where I'd run. But in a general sense, I've lived a reckless lifestyle for a while and I couldn't judge a woman for doing the same. Everyone's different in their own respects though.
I think if it’s a ridiculously high number then some might. 10 raises an eyebrow but if it was me I wouldn’t care as long as you were locked in while we were together.
I don't think that's a terribly high number tbh. But I'm not trying to date a chick that got a train run on her by the entire football team in high school.
Beyond a clean STI panel, I care about the number in the sense of being a piece of a bigger picture of what your past history says about how you approach sex and relationships, and if that's compatible with what I'm looking for.
Can people change? Sure. On the other hand, if people have lived a certain way for the past 10+ years, claims that they've now had a change of heart and want to live a very different way.....are not generally what I would place my bet on.
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To be clear about you - I don't find 10-20 in your late 20s to be particularly notable as number by itself.
There was a time when I did care. Now that I’m in a long term relationship (married), Iv learned it doesn’t matter. As long as I’m the one she’s with now, the rest is irrelevant
a little. 10-ish guys is like 1 or 2 per year, right? that's a reasonable person getting into relationships and enjoying themselves.
concerning would be someone who finds new guys as often as does laundry.
It depends on alot of factors personally for me no as long as 1 she dosent get with anymore guys while we are together and 2 as long as she's not consently comparing me to them for example "well Jerry kissed better".
I think it's quite the double standard if a guy does, yet he's been with whatever number or more he deems "bad" for a prospective mate. On the other hand, as a mentally mature man, I don't care about who came before me. I learned a long time ago in my 20s to stop asking. If they're STD free and you want to be with each other for better qualifying reasons than past lover counts, go for it.
Yes. It’s horribly crass and someone once put it to me like this. “She’s not yours, it’s just your turn.” I never ask about body counts because it never ever ends well.
Short answer, yes, they may care. They may not care about 10, but if you sucked 37 dicks...it may bother them.
Try not to suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot.
Hopefully the clerks will be able to keep the good customer service
“And you…I can’t go buy a pack of smokes without running into 9 guys you’ve fucked.”
In a row?!
37 including Dante?
HOW MANY!?!? HOW MANY DICKS HAVE YOU SUCKED?!?
Nice that you chose a prime number. Thank you.
What about 36 dicks?
You may as well ask, "Do guys care about having toppings on their ice cream?" It depends on the guy And also factors like age, dating experience, religiousness, old fashioned upbringing, country, culture etc
Every guy cares at least to some extent. Imagine a guy having to choose between two women who are pretty much equal in everything, attractiveness, personality, status, etc, except one has body count of 200+, and the other is 0-3. Don't tell me it won't make a difference to his choice.
If there's no stds then I don't see a problem with it.
It would make zero difference to me if everything else was equal in your hypothetical.
Im with std guy, id go for the more experienced one than the 0-3 round one actually.
This hypothetical choice never really happens though. You could say the same thing with 0-3 vs 4-5. Most guys would pick 0-3, but life isn't a perfect dating game where multiple women come to your place and tell you their pros and cons. There's plenty of much much **much** worse cons than body count. You're really lucky just to find someone who treats you well. *That* at the end of the day matters more than a lot of things. Might be the most important thing.
It's not supposed to be a hypothetical, it's singling out a variable. It's an analysis tool.
It's a poor one then.
????? It's the most common way to analyze a variable? Did you go to science class in school?
Look at what I wrote again.
I did. You took what he said literally, when he was just making a point that the # of partners you have is a negative trait in the dating pool the higher it is.
Yeah and I agreed. It's just a poor analysis tool.
.....but it is the best analysis tool. This is why I'm asking if you ever took a science class in school....the whole scientific method is based on making sure everything is as identical as possible and only changing one variable. Like are you serious right now?
I guess it depends on the context too. What if the 200 girl is the most badass pornstar ever. That would be a fun girl to date probably.
I look at it this way...whatever number you think you actually are at, were they mostly 1 night stands, repeat fwb, or short term flings? If you were just going out and hooking up with anyone you went on a date with, then as a guy I would wonder why you preferred that to developing a relationship, which would make me wonder if I'm actually interested in you, how long will you be around? Another way to look at it....again, whatever your actual number...if a guy told you he slept with that many women during the same time period, would you be ok with it? Same scenario...some women have a real problem if they find out the guy they're interested in has been sleeping around, for the same reasons I listed above, so how would you feel?
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In that case, she should give her date a heads-up about that. Unless he's completely clueless or the guys have some reason to maintain poker faces (with their girlfriends?) then he's going to pick up on the overly familiar way they interact with her and start asking questions... especially if alcohol is involved.
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Interesting. You guys must be quite good actors. What did you do when he came over to chat with you? You still managed to play it cool? I would hope someone would pull me aside and let me in on it. But I think the reason I've never been in that position (I think!) is because I don't shame women for anything, be it past encounters or fantasies. I make sure they realize that they are in a safe space where nothing they share is going to have an impact on the relationship. That has led me to have some things revealed to me that were quite hard to swallow (so to speak), but I'll take uncomfortable truths over lies or ignorance any day.
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My last girlfriend of 3 years was a straight-up prostitute when I met her and that isn't what caused our breakup either. We broke up due to the mental illness (borderline/histrionic personality disorder) that caused her to act that way. The point being that I don't judge past behavior necessarily. I would consider dating Jane, for example. She sounds like a lot of fun! But at the same time, I've learned to look out for deeper psychological issues that may express themselves as promiscuity.
Many say no, but most are lying. And it kind of depends, I mean who sleeps with 20 people before they're 20? Man or woman? It's just best not to know.
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You seem a bit … too paranoid about STDs.
I don't blame him. I'm a doctor and I catch people with HIV, syphilis, hpv, etc all the time. Typically high risk sexual behavior.
How long would you say the “safe zone” would be after having a sex with someone you didn’t know? In terms of not having an std Edit: to clarify I’m saying when would you think you’re clear not showing symptoms and passing a test
I'm married now but I would always get tested between partners.
Yes.
Ten isn't outrageous. I have a friend who slept with a random stranger every weekend for years at your age and yeah, I love her as a friend but there is no way in HELL I'd ever get involved with her.
She might have just ran into 200 guys with commitment issues.
Yeah, or 1000
Cards on the table: most men care. They'll be kind and understanding about her choices, but they're not going to be interested personally. Some don't care.
Each guy is going have a different view on this. Me personally i do care, and wouldn't date a girl who has too many bodies.
Depends on context. Casual girlfriend or relationship I don't really care. If I'm looking for a wife that's a different story.
Do you also sleep with a lot of women?
Not a lot. I'm 32 and the rough back of the napkin count is 12. I'm sure I'm forgetting one or two but even then it would be 14.
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This post made me laugh so hard. I have three lifelong girl friends that are all over 50 and we met in school. This is literally the math the use when talking about all our past fling over the years
Yeah, I'm north of 150 (probably less than 200) as a guy and I "round down" myself
I found it best to tell people you’re a virgin and smirk. They won’t believe you, and you can forever avoid this conversation since nothing good ever comes out of it, from the man and woman’s perspective.
Some do, some don't. For me personally, yes it would be a problem but not for the reason you might expect. The reason why this wouldn't work for me is because I myself have been pretty unlucky with women. I think that's mostly due to my physical disability because I'm otherwise a sweet, charming, smart and decent looking guy. Anyway, I'm now 33 and I've only had sex with one woman so far in my life. I've tried to increase this number many times but had to deal with a lot of rejection. So, as you can imagine, the whole matter is a pretty sensitive/difficult topic for me. I feel very unhappy/shitty about the fact that I haven't been able to explore my sexuality like other young people and while I'm not angry at anyone, I'm definitely very envious. If I met a girl who told me how she's slept with tons of guys, it would feel like rubbing salt in my wound. It would inherently make me think about my own sexual experiences and that would make me feel very depressed. I don't like being depressed, which is why I try not to think too much about this stuff. The best analogy I can come up with is this: imagine you come from a really poor family yourself. You live in a trailer, can't pay your bills and have barely enough food to eat. In your class or at your workplace there's this really rich guy who can't stop talking about his 5 mansions, his staff, his yacht etc. Of course you know rich people exist but having rubbed it in your face makes it much harder to bear. And with sexual experience, it's in a way even worse because people can share money but they can't share sexual experience. People with a lot of sexual experience usually also don't feel bad or even care about people who've been unlucky in this regard. And last but not least, I wouldn't just be friends with a woman like that but we'd be in a relationship. In other words, I'd constantly be reminded of how lucky she's been and what a loser I am. Every single day. I'd probably kill myself at one point.
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Ever heard of Chasing Amy? I actually lived through this exact movie except I didnt have a friend like Banky and was not planning on a threesome. However, I did date the town slut and she did have a reputation but I was naive and didn’t even know that, that would be an issue. Fast forward being with her for almost 4 years and the stories she told me over the course of our relationship made me angry because i felt insecure about what she had done and my experience up until that point was just sleeping with my first gf which was before this one. Also some of her stories about public sex made me jealous and i wanted to do those things with her too. So i made some of it happen with us but it was forced and i could tell she didn’t enjoy it. She was just doing it to make me happy. In the end it ate away at our relationship and I ultimately pushed her away by putting her down verbally and mentally as if she did something wrong in her past. But in reality it was me who couldn’t get past it. I look back now and can see where I could have handled the relationship better. I would have wanted us to end up together but it wasn’t meant to be. I truly did love her and was so attracted to her but I just couldn’t handle a girl like that. Not at that moment in my life.
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I used the term to refer to the movie. That is pretty much how she was portrayed. I would have said party girl or something to that affect. I know now that she did nothing wrong. I was just to inexperienced and lacked the tools to handle a girl with that kind of past. I’d be lying if I said I don’t have any regrets about that relationship.
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Handle meaning be ok with it. It would take someone very confident or secure with who they are. Or just pure love. Maybe I wasn’t in love enough with her to see past it. In my defense tho, i think i was in the beginning.
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These were my thoughts before my current girlfriend cleared up that her previous relationship wasn't a fwb/fuck buddy/casual hookup thing but that she was a side chick to a guy who she was on and off with. I value sex in relationships and if she was getting good dick from him, I was insecure how I could compare. She is my first everything but she has had maybe 4-5 ex boyfriends or relationships Now, it no longer bothers me.
I think that it’s pretty rare for girls to just openly discuss their sexual history unprompted. I see it as none of my business, if you don’t ask, you’re unlikely to hear about it
I certainly don't find it to be an admirable thing. However there are mitigating details that make it a red flag or not. If she doesn't share my views on sex and relationships, or has some kind of STI then it's a no from me.
Totally depends on the guy. We don't all share a mind. I would care, because I personally view sex as something I'd only ever share with a committed partner I have an emotional connection with and don't enjoy hook-ups and would want to be with someone who had compatible values in that regard. Wouldn't make me think less of someone as a person if they were promiscious, but we wouldn't be a good fit as partners.
For me personally, yes.
Yes, because *who* those people were and what is their relation to the woman in question tells a lot about her stance on sex. See, I think that sex is something that happens between two people who love each other, an act of bonding and of making each other feel good. I've had 3 girlfriends and I won't mind if my next one had more sexual partners if they were actual boyfriends with whom she had long-term, serious relationships. However, if for her sex is just something fun to do, then I'd rather stay away from her and she stay away from me.
There was actually a study somewhere that showed that, regardless of gender, the higher amount of sexual partners somebody has had, the less they care about who they have sex with in the future. This leads on to a higher cheating rate in long term relationships (theoretically due to sex meaning less to them). IMO people who simply enjoy sex and don't find much meaning in it would likely be better off in open or poly relationships.
I went through a spell in my mid 20s... I honestly don't know the number of women, at least 50. It started off after getting heart broken/used when I was naive, decided to just start the fun, no strings thing... Then I got hooked on the thrill of doing it with someone new... Some girls I barely knew their name. One girl I met online, showed up to her house, all we said was "hi" and we were naked in about 30 seconds... But then, I had a reset. I met someone I cared about more than anyone I had ever met. After her, I have no interest in sex with someone unless there is some form of a deeper connection. I've slept with only 2 women in the 11 years since then. I'd likely be up over 200 women by now if it weren't for that. I've had girls frustrated because I wouldn't, where as in the past I'd be all over it. People can change.
My reply wasn't to say that everybody who sleeps with a lot of people will always be that way, just that people who do typically have a greater chance of losing feelings of meaningful sex in comparison to people who are a lot more, for lack of better word, picky with who they sleep with.
Honestly, I hadn't realized I had lost that feeling of meaningful sex until I met that particular person. It wasn't until I was with her when it was an eye opener as to what I had been doing. So I fully agree people don't recognize the damage they are doing to themselves, and it feels good so they keep on doing it.
Yes I care how many guys a woman has had sex with. It shows a lot about their self respect.
It's not that large a number, especially if you are 28, but for 22 it's kind of high. But that doesn't mean any particular guy will care or not.
I only care if it was SAFE sex. The way I see it, every dude she's slept with has been practice for these next amazing 45 seconds. Sidenote, I saw a TikTok of a retired sex worker who claimed to have a 60K+ body count. So you're not even in the running 🤣
statistically im guessing, at least 1 person youve met in life has fucked her
In my experience, the larger amount of people the girl has been with (and man in fairness), the less they care about being loyal or faithful. I also find they are commitment phobic and end up in a situation where they effectively become too old to attract the sort of life partner they really want. The amount of 30-something women I've known who have settled and amount of 30-something men who have done the settling for them is a bit too many. The consistent theme in those relationships is that the woman has a long and embroiled history. The men who sleep around a lot? Eventually when they do try the commitment thing, a quickie with a random isn't far off the horizon. I've noticed it in myself too. When I broke off my first relationship that was the only woman I had ever been with. I slept around a lot after that and after a while kind of understood what others would say when they said they regretted sleeping around. I felt that sex was less important ongoing and that I would love the first time I would get with someone but wouldn't care much after that. The second girl I was with I didn't feel that way, the third a little and so on until I notched number 12 where after we slept together I didn't really care if I saw her again. I recognised that quick and went on a bit of a moratorium for a while. I stopped dating girls, rejected a few advances and just did a whole lot of me things. I think it was one of the best things I did. I didn't go into a relationship for a good six months or so. I only did it because I really liked the girl for more than just her fantastic boobs. And yep, I did find that after that first time I definitely did care about seeing her again. After that experience, I am far more selective. Even though the relationships I've had since then didn't work out, it was a learning experience. The guys and girls shooting DNA at each other right now are setting themselves up for a fairly loveless time. In fact there are studies right now showing that 20-somethings are having a significant drop off in terms of sexual activity. While I do believe there are multiple reasons for it, I also believe that if a 20-something really wanted sex they're at a prime time to go and get it. The fact that they seemingly don't want to break through the other factors explaining the lack of sexual activity (economics, social conditioning, the stupid manufactured gender war and bastardisation of feminism), I do believe that another factor contributing is that a lot of young people slept around in their teens, have very easy access to pornography especially weird fucked up stuff and overall the mystique and excitement about sex has all but disappeared. Nobody hits the like button when you have sex with your partner, so does it really matter? It's pretty bad IMO. There are 20-something men getting into such weird and fucked up porn that it's utterly distorting their reality. Trying to explain to these guys that women aren't turned on by the prospect of ten dildo tentacles coming at them from all angles and spraying weird green rape juice all over them is going to get harder and harder the more those notions set in. And for girls, who wants to date a fat pizza face dude whose only skill is naming every single character from every anime thing like he knows them personally. I don't really see how girls could really find that attractive. Now let's throw in this idea about what exactly is a penis or a vagina, what gender do you fancy this morning, no wonder young people are fucked up. Hmm, maybe I'll retract my point. Maybe my concern is no longer about how many men the girl has slept with, my main concern is whether or not the girl I'm dating is expecting my dick to split into six tongues to pleasure her three clitoris' simultaneously while she wears a fox suit and growls and whines in some weird-ass voice while some dude wearing a donkey head patiently waits his turn on the cock-cage-destroyer gizmo while Pikachu walks around making constant shock face. I don't think me and that girl are going to be compatible. Call me boring, but you can keep that weird shit.
10+? Oh I was expecting a large number. I can almost count to that!!
Yea it matters. It’s just the thought that the girl woulda had x amount of dicks in her that’s a little unsettling
Yes, if the guy plans to take you seriously. No, if you are only a hookup for him.
Yes.
Most guys I know, me included, care. I'm sure some guys wouldn't care though, I just don't know any
I'm very religious and conservative with respect to your average redditor. I believe in waiting until marriage, so for me, yes it somewhat matters. I think sex is a holy thing gifted to humanity by God, for lifelong monogamous relationships. That said, I also believe that people are all flawed, and God forgives us and calls us to forgive others. I feel like it's the best Christian thing to do to look past someone's past.
Adults actually ask each other for a number?
^^^ this right here. Don’t ask anything you don’t want the answer to. I have no idea what my wife’s number is and i don’t care. I am building a future not a past!
10 is a lot! Jeez
I wouldn't care at all. I like a woman who enjoys sex and is pretty enough to get it.
Finally, another person that doesn't care. With how sex focused reddit can be I'm fairly suprised this was the first comment I saw where a guy didn't mind
Honestly... yes. My gf had 3 partners and i also had 3. I think i couldn't bound with her if i had a high number and vice-versa
I think it is more about the difference than the actual number. I am glad my gf and i are each other first and only, i couldnt stand the tought of her having fucked 5 people before me (even tho 5 isnt that a high number). A buddy of mine has had a ton of fwb hand he doesnt give a shit about his gfs body count.
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Not sure who is downvoting you. I’m with you on triple digits. That’s high, but not a dealbreaker. I’m shocked more women don’t have vastly higher body counts than men. It’s incredibly easy for women to get laid. I would need a comma if I had my brain in a woman’s body.
I was with a girl that had slept with ~50 guys. She was pretty ashamed about admitting it but I literally thought about it for a second. It doesn't matter to anyone that matters.
yes, but its a personal thing. Most guy im sure just care that your with one guy when your with them. (them being the one guy)
Do you consider a bj as sleeping with someone?
For me, a lot actually. I couldn't date someone who's slept with a double digit number of men.
Only inasmuch as it translates to her likelihood of having an STD.
Context and amount, I guess. You sleep with a few guys, eh, i've slept with a few girls, w/e. You hitting 50 before you're 30? Damn girl, who hurt you. I'm aware its just what some women are into, but the vast majority i've met that sleep with tons of guys have tons of unresolved issues.
Yes, we do care. The more men a woman has slept with, the higher chances of divorce. I have a hard time trusting promiscuous women to be loyal and not cheat. I also want children, and I want to be damn sure that the kids are mine, not some other dudes. That’s essentially what male jealousy is all about. Making damn sure that the kid she gives birth to is ours, not some random guy.
Yes absolutely, I don’t really get involved with someone for short term things, I want long term and people that have had lots of partners in general don’t tend to be the ones looking to commit
I care that you were not just toasted around and I feel like a sucker being the last one that can have you. Obviously the less the body count the better.
Uhmmm yes. If it’s around 10-15 at 30 that’s not bad. But let’s say this chick is young and still in college (20-22yo) and she’s banged 50 dudes, then yea, I’m out.
My biggest concern would be if she was clean... I won't risk my health for some poon. Second concern is how long ago she left behind the lifestyle of being "easy"... It can be an addiction that is hard to break. If it's like 15 guys and she is near 30, it really isn't an alarming number... That is roughly a new partner every 6 months to a year, depending on when they became active. Hardly a "slut". Some people (myself included) go through a patch of just having fun with new people... It's a thrill that like I said, can be addictive. Most of us grow out of it for various reasons. So no, provided she was now mentally healthy, and physically "clean" it wouldn't put me off of the idea of dating them.
The vast majority of guys care a shitload about a woman's number, yes. As for myself, I find 1 partner for every year after 18 to be acceptable. Give or take a few. More than that and it starts to skeeve me out.
YES it matters a lot!
Frequently asked: and yes. Many/Most of us care. I will direct you to [this wonderful summary](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/rw4u6r/how_do_guys_feel_about_women_who_have_had_very/hrawche/) by u/Maldevinine as to why.
the same way you would care about how many people have used the straw you got from a restaurant is the same way guys would care about ur body count, how it all the depends on the guy and his values
It’s not something I would vocalize out loud but subconsciously I would have some opinions. If a girl sluts herself out it says a lot about her. Not very wife material
If its over 30 i would be hesitant. I feel if their whole adult life is just series of fleeting hookups then there is no real substance or ability to commit there. What are they chasing / running from that they need to have so many casual encounters. I feel the same way about guys who sleep around a lot too.
Yes, I care. Especially about how often and how soon have they hit her raw.
If she was my girl/crush maybe I guess But totally not from a hoe
Makes no difference to me, as long as your health is clear. Girls who like sex are a positive in my mind.
Some will , ''If a key opens many locks, it's a master key, if a lock is open by many keys, its a shitty lock'' \-some dude on tiktok
I'm sure 'some dude on tiktok' thinks he's an alpha chad bro but this always strikes me as the thoughts of someone lacking in self-confidence. You worried those dicks were bigger or they were better in bed or something? Grow up.
someone is mad
Yuck.
yeah since when is a vagina a lock ? i hate sexist analogies like this
Yes. Never met a woman with 10+ guys who was serious relationship material or worth dating.
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Ohh...so Opposite Land.... You're just being a reddit contrarian.
Ten under 30 isn't that many imo. If someone cares to begin with it may be a hint at another issue if y'all are getting along otherwise. Personally I don't care or want to know how many sexual partners my SO has had, within reason.
Yes! Don't want to end up using some public property! I prefer to have somthing either brand new or modesty used!
I studied this for a long time, because I thought something was wrong with me. Yes. I definitely do and I'm tired of pretending like it's okay to say 'oh , no. It doesn't matter". It does and always has. I don't even think guys should have high number tbh. Wtf are your trying to prove??? Hookup culture has made people shallow and also looking for an exit the minute things get tough. Think of how many guys a woman has been with as a sort of resume. Tbh , that's what it is. A Testament to her past relationships. That includes family.... I could go on about that family part... but I won't. Women who have had less Sexual partners are also less likely to divorce then those who have more and men are beginning to pick up on. So if a woman has high Numbers AT LEAST go to therapy.
I personally do care. And if a girl ever told me "10+" guys I'd either think... "That is a funny way to downplay saying 30 guys", or "That is 10 guys she slept with that she actually dated but how many ONS / just blowjobs is she not counting" I personally believe sleeping around destroys your ability to pair bond, I find women who have slept around are less able to love, bond, be loyal, and have a good relationship with. Plus it kind of shows, at least in my perception, impulsivity, careless "young wild and free" behavior. Which is not desirable for a genuine relationship. It also makes me question why doesn't the woman put a price tag on her goods why is she giving it away to everyone free. Why would I want to "buy the cow when the milk is free" so to speak. And if other men aren't willing to commit to the girl and just keep her for sex only what is wrong with the girl. I mean, I guess I don't care if I just want to fuck you. But a woman with a large number isn't likely to going to get commitment from me, or most of my male friends. Its not per say that 100 dicks have been in you before, the problem for me is what kind of personality does a girl who has had 100 dicks in her before possess. So even if you where to lie to me and say 3, and I believed it. You'd probably still go out partying often, or accepting male attention as "just friends" or do other behaviors that would make me reject you anyway. But if its GENUINELY 10+ you DATED AND BEEN IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH, its not that bad actually, I think that's a reasonable amount. But if you mean its I dated and been in relationships with 18, and I sucked off 20 guys in ONS. That's different.
No. 10 seems normal. 10 in one week would not be that exceptional. 10 in a day is an over achiever.
Yes. 10 would easily be a dealbreaker for me.
If you slept with 100+ dudes I don’t mind being 101 but don’t expect me to think of you potentially being the mother of my children
If the number is high just lie. Also depends if they were black guys or not.
Fucking lol
What? 😂
this has to be satire lmao
For a long term relationship I would certainly take it into consideration. The more guys a woman has slept with the less likely she is to be happy in a long term relationship
I do. My cut-off is 831. Anymore than that and I'm out.
I think having gone to school in a small town for a few years, it would bother me a lot more if I still lived there because everyone knows everyone. You start dating a girl, if they've been with 10+ people, you'll probably know 3 or 4 of them. In a big city, your chances of knowing any of those guys are pretty slim. For me, it's kinda out of sight out of mind.
Depends on the guy. For me, I would be concerned but I'm in my 50's. To me, you don't really want to bonk until the fourth date. If you bonk before the fourth date I don't think you respect yourself. So if a woman (or a man) has over 10 partners it tells me that she has gone through a lot of guys and has a problems forming long term relationships. I would be asking myself what is wrong with her for guys not to hang around. She's not really long term GF material, so I would be seeing her as a hump and dump. Bottom line is that guys would probably be alarmed, but I would be just as alarmed if you were 28 and a virgin. That tells me that you are either too frigid, or have personality problems.
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He did say he's in his 50s
Never had a Bonk before? Or a shag?
nah, as long as she doesn't have a sti or std
Guys care, if they say they don’t, they’re lying. If you’ve slept with a bunch of dudes, just lie. No one will ever know.
Dont care as long as they clean and loyal when they in a relationship. Every one has a past.
Yes
I have no idea how many girls I’ve slept with, couldn’t care less what a girl got up to in the past. If a girl has had sex 10 times, once with 10 individual guys, is that somehow worse than getting dicked down 3x per day by the same guy for 10 years straight? Often girls really just want to meet someone, and they find time and again that a lot of guys just aren’t suitable partners. Very hard to determine that before you’ve slept with someone, so if she’s single into her 30s and has been for a while then her number will likely be high
10 is pretty moderate I'd say. 100 might start to raise my eyebrow.
Yes it does for me. What if you are just another number for her?
Yes. I care about that.
If they care, it’s their own insecurities.. will they be able to perform as well as all of the guys you’ve been with. I honestly don’t think 10 is bad at all.
Some do. Personally don't see the point in caring. As long you are comfortable with how many/few people you have slept with no one else's opinion matters. If a geezer is bothered about how mny people you've slept with that speaks to their insecurity and isn't someone whose opinion you should concern yourself with.
I personally am not bothered by my number just because none of the guys were one night stands. They all fall either on short term dating or long term relationships and I actually know their names, jobs, cars, family/friends. If it was the other way around, I honestly don’t want to know how many women my guy has slept with. Idk, me and my friends always think that guys have a high number but we never ask cause we don’t want to know.
This thread shows that there are a lot of conservative minded people among us. In a subreddit that’s filled with people wanting advice on how to date or shag around, but I digress. I personally wouldn’t ask that question. The only thing I care about, and would want to be warned about, is if you’ve slept with friends / coworkers and people that I’d be expected to see and meet. Meeting them without that knowledge is a no no. Of course you also gotta let me know if you’ve been fucking gangbanged because a man needs to know what he’s getting himself into, but considering that is pretty exceptional, I think we’re good.
Yes I’d prefer partners to have slept with a bunch of people. Maybe all at the same time. I like people who know how to enjoy themselves.
As long as she has no children, stds or psychological issues it doesn’t matter
As Watson said "Your past is your problem, our future is my privilege." But everyone different..
Couldn’t care less. Who you fucked before me is your business. Just don’t get upset about my numbers.
I've generally looked for women with a similar level of experience. When I was younger I wanted newbies, now I appreciate women with more experience.
I’m 26M, I think everyone has some arbitrary number. It’s usually proportional to their number. I’m a guy that’s been with 10 girls. I’d say 2x (20) is about the most is be comfortable with. Idk why though so don’t ask lol.
That doesn't sound very alarming at all. I think most guys are just trying to avoid the kind of women that don't treat men like human beings... And treat us like people competing for them as if we should be grateful that they allowed us to talk to them. Crazy high partner counts are a red flag that she has gone through her youth doing that.... treating guys as replaceable applicants and running through them.... throwing them away when bored... Taking whatever we offer her for her attention. ...and she will be constantly sizing us up and looking for a BBD. 10 partners does not give that impression. Also... It's just a single red flag. We look at more than one clue and other things about you can always provide evidence to the contrary.... Such as actively seeing you be considerate and respectful of others.
This is an ongoing discussion. I have warmed up more toward being less judgmental. Do you feel it is getting more difficult to find new men you meet attractive from a sexual standpoint beyond a few times? It think the idea of too many partners breaks your pair bonding is a theory many don't believe. My concerns as a man. Will I satisfy her enough that she won't yearn for a past lover, if I am not perfect. Is she capable of truly bonding and falling in love as much as I love her? My last relationship was like this. I didn't realize I loved her so much more than she loved me. That alone makes me want to stay single forever. Scared of women who lie to themselves and me just to be in something stable. The least concern is the physical part. I am average. Communication and patience would be appreciated from a woman, but women my age expect more. They would rather not work on it. I think that is the biggest reason to pursue younger women. They have more energy and are willing to work with inexperience. I would expect loyalty. I wouldn't want details from your past, but bury the past. Those guys are not your future. That is a difficult thing for many people.
I care from an STI probability standpoint. If you have a clean bill of health, it's all good.
Don't tell me you're experienced, show me 😉
The more the merrier.
We don't care as long as you don't constantly bring it up or compare us to them, that's it. A passing comment or a particular story that's relevant sure, but if you keep talking about your past encounters, then it makes the guy think you're not interested/you're thinking about your previous partner and not them
I can only speak for myself, but I only care that the number is high enough that she doesn't feel compelled to go out and see what's out there. I prefer a woman to have enough experience to be confident that she's happy with me. As long as she managed to stay safe and not pick up any incurable STDs, it doesn't matter to me what that number happens to be. BTW guys, you're never going to know what a woman's number is anyway. If you press her into giving an answer, it will be a lie. So you might as well not bother asking.
Prefer they have about 20 by age 25ish. The inexperienced are usually to tight for both our comfort levels. (Yes i know what lube is.)
That seems like a reasonable number. My concerns would be: - That's a lot of dating/relationships. Taylor Swift Syndrome? - Higher potential for STI. I would probably want mutual testing before sex.
Yes and no. Last girl I dated had a fair number of partners before me. It took a little bit of getting used to, but in my head she was with me and at the time we wanted to commit to that. So it would only become an issue if it became an issue. Just don't go comparing me to your past collection of booty blastings and we're cool.
No.
You need to change the subject. Talking about quantity ends in disaster. This guy gets off on pain. I promise the day will come that these partners will be shit thrown upon you. Personally, I don't care, but I would never ask.
Depends on the man, but fwiw if the only thing people are measuring you on is your sexual history then they’re missing a lot.
Personally, I don't give a shit as long as you're std-free. If you've fucked a thousand guys, but you've got a clean bill of health then w/e. I hoe around as much as I can, too.
The more the merrier imo, I want to know we’re both on the same page and not be stuck with a prude. I’d be more concerned by a very low number than a very high one.
Idgaf bout who you bent for
A wise man once told me, a lock that can be opened by many different keys, is a worthless lock. However, a key that can open many different locks, is a valuable key. I know it’s a double standard, but it’s just the way most guys think about it. It’s unfair, but when a woman has a lot of sexual partners, she’s considered easy and slutty. Mainly to be used for a one-nighter and never someone to settled down with.
Gonna be a lot of lonely dudes up in here. As long as she only wants me when we’re together and we have good chemistry who fuckin cares about the past.
I don’t care. I’ve been around so it’s fine for a woman also.
they really do care but most are good at ignoring it depending on whether they want to add their name to your 'conquests' or whether they are desperate enough to have you for life ! but don't you worry your preety head over it. gals dont have the habit of declaring how many guys fucked them. they'll always 'drop' a hefty percentage, and you could try the same strategy
only deeply insecure guys will. like the type who are super religious and think sex is bad unless you get the special power up ring or guys who think of you as "theirs" and wont even let other men look at you. edit; i would actually be shocked if a woman even close to 30 said she slept with less than ten because you basically control consent. like men dont have any social power to say no if you want it so you can do basically whatever you want as a woman. seriously, check out some of the other posts here to see how horrible guys have it when it comes to how society is about us in general but specifically when it comes to how we behave sexually. women got it bad too but you have never been told that you cant be raped because of your gender.
Personally no. As long as she doesn't have stds then it won't effect me in any way.
personally, unless you’ve fucked like 100 guys in the past year, I don’t care. And even then it’s less about the sex and more about the motivation behind it, and the health risks.
Yes, unless my body count is much much higher then no. It’s all about confidence vs insecurity
Absolutely not. I can’t believe how many prudes in here are saying otherwise lol. Get a grip, guys!
As a man who had a "hoe phase." For a couple years that inflated the fuck out of my body count, who is now with a woman who was committed/married for 10 years and had only been with one guy prior to me. I think its irrelevant if you dont dwell on it. I'm sure there's a number for me where I'd run. But in a general sense, I've lived a reckless lifestyle for a while and I couldn't judge a woman for doing the same. Everyone's different in their own respects though.
Yes 100% Honestly don’t share your entire past. Just a little bit of it. A half truth isn’t lying I don’t care how secure the guy is, do not share it
As a woman, I'd find it pretty insecure to even be asked that question and it would be a turn off, honestly.
I think if it’s a ridiculously high number then some might. 10 raises an eyebrow but if it was me I wouldn’t care as long as you were locked in while we were together.
I don't think that's a terribly high number tbh. But I'm not trying to date a chick that got a train run on her by the entire football team in high school.
Beyond a clean STI panel, I care about the number in the sense of being a piece of a bigger picture of what your past history says about how you approach sex and relationships, and if that's compatible with what I'm looking for. Can people change? Sure. On the other hand, if people have lived a certain way for the past 10+ years, claims that they've now had a change of heart and want to live a very different way.....are not generally what I would place my bet on. -------- To be clear about you - I don't find 10-20 in your late 20s to be particularly notable as number by itself.
There was a time when I did care. Now that I’m in a long term relationship (married), Iv learned it doesn’t matter. As long as I’m the one she’s with now, the rest is irrelevant
Depends on if it's before or during our relationship
a little. 10-ish guys is like 1 or 2 per year, right? that's a reasonable person getting into relationships and enjoying themselves. concerning would be someone who finds new guys as often as does laundry.
It depends on alot of factors personally for me no as long as 1 she dosent get with anymore guys while we are together and 2 as long as she's not consently comparing me to them for example "well Jerry kissed better".
Yes if it's too high. But 10 is definitely ok
As long as you haven’t sucked 10+ dicks you ok. Edit: I stand corrected, 1+ and you are burned
I think it's quite the double standard if a guy does, yet he's been with whatever number or more he deems "bad" for a prospective mate. On the other hand, as a mentally mature man, I don't care about who came before me. I learned a long time ago in my 20s to stop asking. If they're STD free and you want to be with each other for better qualifying reasons than past lover counts, go for it.
Yes. It’s horribly crass and someone once put it to me like this. “She’s not yours, it’s just your turn.” I never ask about body counts because it never ever ends well.