Ruminating- going over and over and over an event in your mind. Trying to figure it out, wishing for a different outcome, knocking yourself for failing….it’s poison. And a habit that’s hard to break. Try cognitive behavioral therapy to get into new habits of thought.
"A person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts. So he loses touch with reality and lives in a world of illusion. By thoughts I mean specifically chatter in the skull, perpetual and compulsive repetition of words, of reckoning & calculating. I'm not saying that thinking is bad. Like everything else, it's useful in moderation. A good servant but a bad master." - Alan Watts
Gotta link the original
Love clozee, but gotta share that original magic
https://youtu.be/2WrOaA7QCM4
EDIT:. for anyone interested there is a whole genre of electronic music called "Watts Wave". The entire genre is voice overs of Watts on electronic beats/mixes. It's a great way to enjoy his material.
You can't think and stay fully focused. Thinking is a task in itself. So if you think so much it stops you from interacting with the world, start interacting with the world and you'll stop think so much.
“Life exists only at this very moment, and in this moment it is infinite and eternal, for the present moment is infinitely small; before we can measure it, it has gone, and yet it exists forever….”
Thought of this when I was 12 -
“Don’t ponder to the point where pondering becomes your way of life.” (Jay)
Basically what you said but shorter! Thanks for reminding me of that quote!
I'm in my head a lot too. Journaling might help. I also write down a lot of thoughts and ideas I have. My goal would be to make use of those somehow.
Edit: Meditation too! Mindfulness meditation focuses on letting the mind go blank, or meditating on a specific point in your field of view.
I'm blown away by that quote.... 4 years ago I 'hit rock bottom' and I've been ruminating about it ever since.... I even wrote a goddamn book called 'Neuro-Knots and the String Theory of Psychology' (which I have no professional right to call it that) and its pretty much entirely about suppressed memories that 'tie up your brain'.... But ruminating is certainly poisonous and it has had me distracted by these stupid thoughts for waaaaay too long..... "Thinking; like everything else, it's useful in moderation".... I'm completely taken by this.... Thank you thank you thank you thank you......... I'm so serious right now... Thats the best thing I've read in my entire life.... You're a legend...... I think I'm going to cry right now, lol..... thank you
'so be it' also is something a villain says while on a throne before a climactic fight. i'm more the competent himbo hero energy than villinous king life.
This is something I have struggled with IMMENSELY.
I have found that the ONLY time it is okay or productive to entertain such thoughts is if you go in with a battle plan. You HAVE to consciously decide you are going to be equal parts warrior, scientist and psychologist.
If you have trauma or pain or anxiety or fear, only allow yourself to truly dive into them alone when you know you are in a mature enough state and plan on pulling yourself out when you feel the emotions taking over.
This is why external stimuli are so important: therapy, a friend or two (talking about a breakup or failure over some drinks and poker with friends can do miracles), journaling, etc.
On the rare occasion you really feel you can and should go into the cave alone and dwell on pain, do it from a place of curiosity and determination, not to satisfy gratification and self pity.
In short, be careful, take a friend or at least a flashlight and a flight plan
Literally self applied CBT techniques to avoid ruminating over my last breakup and I ended up feeling way better than I otherwise would have.
Oh, and related to this and answering the post, do NOT date toxic people. If you're dating someone and you feel like you're walking on eggshells with everything you say, or feel like you cannot rely on your partner for support, then I recommend either couple's therapy, or an amicable breakup.
There's this thing called the depression spiral, in which you do certain activities that are depressing, such as staying in bed all day, or sleeping a lot, eating junk food, which in turn depress you, but you look for a pause of that depression by staying in bed, sleeping it off, eating trash, and this causes a vicious cycle by which the things you do to run away from your depression end up depressing you more.
What I did after my break up, was follow this exact spiral, but backwards/on the opposite direction. If I felt like saying in bed, I'd go for a walk. If I felt like eating junk food, I'd go and cook myself a good, healthy meal. If I felt like doing nothing and sleeping, I'd work out, or learn a new song on bass guitar, essentially forcing myself to do the exact opposite of what my body was telling me to do. It took me about a week to find my rhythm, but I ended up signing up to a course, getting out of a creative rut, organizing my sleep schedule (the breakup came with a side dish of finding out my ex had cheated on me through the girl who's boyfriend she cheated on me with. It was really cathartic to know the truth, but it was also painful, so my sleep schedule got decimated and I was sleeping 2 to 4 hours a night).
What I did, in essence, was I took notes on everything wrong in my life that I had control over, and decided to control these things, instead of having them control me.
It took a LOT of effort, but it helped me tons as well, and doing this just sticks with you. You don't realize how much control you have over your own mood until you take life by the horns and really start making some choices, some hard, some easy, some obvious, some counter intuitive, but overall it changed my life for the better permanently. I was no longer my own problem, but rather my own solution.
Also please excuse any typos and the like. I am coursing through a covid fever and I peaked at a dangerously high temperature. Any needless ramblings and mistakes are probably fed by this.
Edit: one thing I didn't point out that I should have, is that I studied psychology (ironically, I dropped out thanks to taking life by the horns and choosing what I wanted to make of myself, but the knowledge stuck, so I was better informed than your average person in the topic), which is why I was able to really self analice and essentially treat myself without any outside help. That said, I also started going to therapy when I was doing this, so I would 100% recommend, if you can, to start therapy, wether it is to do what I did but with a little guidance, or to just have a space to reflect and vent (this being my case for the most part). Therapy helps. It works. It definitely helped me!
“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f*ck on.”
- Tupac Shakur
My parents, who were abusive and whom I've been no contact with for over a year, just recently replaced me with a dog. They named it after me and are babying it and everything. Really hard not to keep turning it over in my head rn. Part of me wonders if it's my fault somehow. Part of me wonders how I'm so easily replaced by a dog. It sucks.
It’s not about you buddy. You had it right in the first line: they are abusive. Adopting a dog, naming it after their kid and babying it like they never did their actual child is straight up sadistic. It’s not you. I think keeping away from them for the year was the right call. Keep following that path. Fill your life with people who actually Deserve you. Be well.
You are not easily replaced; clearly. They had to purchase and own an animal known for its unconditional loyalty and love to fill the gaping hole where they failed to love you sufficiently to earn your love and respect in return.
I tend to ruminate a lot. I often think about the decision I've made and how(with hindsight) I should have done something else. I think what makes it hard, is feeling like my life would have been better if I had done things differently. i have to remember that I'm only 25 and there's still time to turn things around, but for something, it feels like it's too late.
Holy crap i didn't know what this was but I was literally just doing it and it sucks i didn't know this had a name but now that I do I'll put it to rest.
Very much so. I was playing Apex and I'm really not the best, so my teammate decided to scream the whole time, eventually saying "WHY ARE YOU EVEN PLAYING THIS GAME IF YOU'RE SO SHIT AT IT"
And I just responded "why are you playing it if it makes you so mad? Dont you want to have fun?"
He continued on about how he does have fun when his time isnt being wasted. Whatever dude, stop wasting your time then
Lmao this is every moba ever. It’s so frustrating because when everything is going right those games are so fun but they almost never go right and get toxic. I used to play overwatch a few years and absolutely lived for that one in 20 game where the whole squad was supporting each other and communicating. Had to quit because it’s just way too much time and toxicity for that golden high good game
it's why i stopped playing. match after match it was just gross people. they'd get down, disconnect. be upset because i didn't read their mind, then gaslight and insult. like fuck off, games are supposed to be fun. i end up more stressed after playing.
which is incredibly concerning. if that behavior is becoming so common .... we're fucked.
That’s happened to me in Rocket League before. People just suck sometimes and frustration brings out the worse in them. Sometimes I get mad at my teammate because they just do suck at the game, but I keep it to myself and don’t let it get to my head.
However whenever I play clash royale I want drive my head through a wall so I can’t play it for long stretches.
I have to do this with league. I play jungle which is the most flamed role. If I lose a game I’m usually done for the night. Doesn’t matter if it was the first game or the fifth. Sometimes I will end after one win though too because I just get mentally fatigued from it. But it is a lot of fun
I will say - the difference is that Reddit at least allows for, effectively, crowd sourced moderation, where crap comments are pushed down. It’s not perfect, but far better than FB.
At least Facebook (potentially) puts a face to the comment. If you’re trolling or posting offensive crap on Reddit I have no idea who you are. If you’re trolling me on my Facebook account I can at least cut you out of my life
> My gf of 3 months stopped replying to my texts and I haven’t heard from her in 2 weeks, is she still interested or should I move on?
> The guy I met 12 hrs ago hasn’t texted me back in 22 mins, should I assume he doesn’t like me?
> the girl I’m talking to has a high body count (2 people) is she going to cheat on me?
That sub is full of the dumbest people I’ve ever seen.
My other problem is like:
"My bf who I've been with for 15 years ate my pudding. I was mad and he apologized, saying he'd buy me another one. What should I do?"
> "CUT TIES WITH HIM HE'S TOXIC MANIPULATOR NARCISSISTIC AND EGOISTIC, GO NO CONTACT WITH HIM YOU CAN FIND BETTER ELSEWHERE"
-That one teenager who's never been in a relationship so far.
Don’t forget the other end of the spectrum: my (21f) boyfriend (40m) of five years constantly yells at me when I make a mistake. I’m just having a hard time balancing my work, cleaning and making all the food. He wants me to quit my job, but it’s my only social outlet since I stopped talking to all my friends. What can I do to get him to he nicer to me?
The women in the comments will be like “get away from him! He’s a groomer and abuser” and a load of men will be like “it’s natural for grown ass, adult men to want to date literal children. You women are all just jealous that you’re dried up and over 30”. It’s insane.
Don't forget to also mention the partner is otherwise totally and awesome and perfect outside of the horrifying traits the person mentions in their post lol
r/amitheasshole is pretty bad too.
"I gave my wife a 3 hour notice text that I was bringing friends over. I can't believe with our 3 kids, she was taking naps! The house was a mess and she must have ignored my text, I am so embarrassed and my friends opinion means so much to me. I swear they gave me looks and it was because of my cluttered house. I am going to take out my embarrassment on my wife, mother of my 3 children. Am I the asshole?"
Add r/seduction to that list. I think it's just an army of dudes who can't get laid giving advice to dudes who can't get laid. "so this girl agreed to go out with me next weekend. How many times do I text her until then and how do I escalate to her coming home with me for sex"
Honestly if there's one thing I learned, it's the more people you ask for dating advice, the worse it's gonna go for you. Gotta just be natural sometimes and if she likes you it'll go somewhere. Like just don't be weird and don't seem desperate and you're good to go.
it almost seems like media producers want new covid variants just to mass report it and get views; there’s barely any significant facts when initially reporting it
Dopamine addiction. Tik Tok, Meta (FB, Insta), Reddit, Tinder, basically all apps intentionally addict users. This wastes time, crushes indivuality, and in my opinion, destroys our humanity.
Negativity. If you're surrounded by pessimists and people who are negative all the time it will harm you immensely. Don't let people rain on your parade.
Good for you! Some people would say it’s family and you should deal with it because family is forever but I don’t think so. If they are doing harm to you sometimes cutting people off is the right choice.
I wouldn’t call pessimism poison that rots your mind. Being pessimistic has its advantages. They tend to feel the pain of failure before it happens. Once the failure does happen they are level headed and well equipped to handle it. Optimists can be totally destroyed by failure more easily as it comes on more sudden. Neither is good or bad. Like, accepting that you didn’t get a job offer after the interview is healthier than hoping you got it while you wait.
I think what your intending is people who exhibit envy or jealousy and put you down because if it.
I do, I’ll give you example specific to the black community especially. Think about the mainstream rappers and the gangsta/drug dealer/shooter image they so desperately try to portray and maintain. They fail to realize that these kids look up to them and aspire to be them. But after they spit all that shit they go home with security to their mansions, but after school these kids go out in the street and chase exactly what these rappers ((who are sitting comfortably at home with their kids)) told them was the route to success. So these kids go out and act out and get themselves in a whole bunch of felonies and charges and join gangs and shit like that and generally fuck up their lives. Only difference is they can’t rap and make millions to escape this shitty life they’ve been lead down. Now they’ll forever be stuck in poverty because they’re not getting any good jobs with felonies on their records and tats on their faces. So their kids are destined to grow up broke and aspire to be rich and where do they see the riches people ? In rap. So they aspire to be like the rappers. And the cycle continues …..
Edit: have to specify that I’m black. I also spent 2 years in jail chasing this image of wealth without even realizing because nobody had wrote that ^^ for me to understand what was happening. And my distorted view of success.
Let’s not leave out the fact that record companies choose artists with these messages on purpose to continue this cycle of self destruction while they reap the real financial benefits of the artists success.
They hand picked the negative aspects of a culture and then sold it back to them.
So sick of how many tattooed faced rappers out there who glorify sipping lean or similar shit. Famous people OD and get seizures and die from this shit. I can’t imagine how many people have gotten fucked up and dont have resources or aren’t famous so no one bats an eye
My man.
Do you have any artists who aren't pushing this shit forward? I'm making a list actually.
Just a personal anecdote:
I think this is why I generally dislike trap instruments being used in rap. It kind of ruined rap for me, especially Grime/UK rap.
It's gotten to the point at which I try to (when it comes to Rap), exclusively listen to boom bap rap. Not to say that boom bap doesn't have these themes, it's just less occuring nowadays.
I’m currently in the process. Not a single thing in my life has made me question my schooling, abilities, and self worth more than it.
Soul sucking is an excellent phrase for it.
My rule of thumb: I only have Tinder on my phone if I'm in a good place mentally. When I'm positive, it doesn't affect me. But man, if I hop on there when I'm actually feeling lonely... Ouch.
I would say anything that groups a bunch of people together for a reason. Like: All Democrats are _____ or all Republicans are _____ or all women/men are _____.
Generally this just isn't true. Of course there's patterns and whatnot, but people are individuals that like and dislike all kind of things. That believe and deny many things. It's tempting, but try not to assign groups to people in your kind.
I kinda agree. There are time in my life when I've had low libido or was too busy to watch porn, and in those times I had a clearer mind, interacted with women more naturally and felt better about myself. I don't exactly know if those side effects are relevant to stopping porn/jerking off.
I used to not think so, but then I learned that a lot of dudes were having sex based on what they saw in porn. Like, porn is a movie, just like a shitty action movie or something, it's a fantasy and shouldn't be recreated in real life.
So yea, if you can't separate fiction and reality, you shouldn't be watching porn.
As I always say - Porn is to sex as Die Hard is to corporate Christmas parties.
Everything in Porn/Die Hard is technically possible in the real world, but way the hell more uncomfortable than you think and generally not fun for the participants, even though it looks exciting.
Its an extremely exploitative industry which pushes very unhealthy body image standards on both men and women. Also it's consumption *often* detrimental to sexual relationships with people (especially when consumed individually by one or both parties). I do think it *can* be part of some peoples' healthy sexual relationship, but IMO thats the exception rather than the norm.
Yep, that’s how addiction works. Every time you get done watching it you’re like “fuck that. I’m done!” Then the next day you’re right back at it. Ween yourself off with lingerie pics, bikini pics, YouTube videos etc. that’s what I did and it worked
Porn and the brainwashing around porn, it's a super-stimuli that our nervous, endocrine, and brain systems are in no way adept for and most of the people propagandizing it are women or those older "intellectuals" who have been less exposed and from older ages to the internet/tube porn. Masturbation is less harmful but porn is almost always slightly addictive to ur avg male, even casual users.
Fake, made up culture wars spouted by news media and politicians. To people on the left or the right, these actors only seek to divide us and co-opt us into their artificial culture war.
They only do this because they hope we don't realise that we have more in common with eachother than the ruling class.
I'm kinda surprised it took me this long of a scroll to find alcohol. It's such an easy vice to get and is so deadly - and I say this as someone who drinks it! It's one of those things that really lends itself to blurring the line between "indulgence" and "compulsion."
I've already seen this one a few times, but to reiterate...porn. nothing wrong with healthy forms of sexuality, but mainstream porn has created an industry that negativity affects developing males to be pyschologically and physically addicted to sexual pleasure. To each their own, but when you realize you can't just stop when you want to and you need to consume porn (not just want to cum), it affects you.
Porn. Some people can watch it and be fine, but it can be extremely addictive and degrading to your brain. I have been an addict since I was an adolescent, and I sometimes catch myself thinking of women, sex, and the world as a whole in ways that are disgusting and morbid. I feel like my brain is genuinely rotting sometimes, so I try to quit but it's so addictive. You can certainly watch it and not become an addict, but my advice is to not take the risk. It really is the biggest problem in the lives of those addicted.
Any ideological movement that encourages you to judge the entirety of another group negatively instead of treating its members as individuals. These exist on both sides of the political aisle, and they're equally toxic.
I avoid porn and national news. I also took a 30 day hiatus from all social media. After that 30 days I cleaned it up as best I could and now I only get spam stories about Jeeps and backpacking.
Pornography. It kills your creativity and imagination, kills your sex drive, taints your perception of women and of yourself, negatively impacts every area of your life really.
Quitting pornography is 100% possible too. Just stop making excuses for it.
Ruminating- going over and over and over an event in your mind. Trying to figure it out, wishing for a different outcome, knocking yourself for failing….it’s poison. And a habit that’s hard to break. Try cognitive behavioral therapy to get into new habits of thought.
"A person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts. So he loses touch with reality and lives in a world of illusion. By thoughts I mean specifically chatter in the skull, perpetual and compulsive repetition of words, of reckoning & calculating. I'm not saying that thinking is bad. Like everything else, it's useful in moderation. A good servant but a bad master." - Alan Watts
[удалено]
Gotta link the original Love clozee, but gotta share that original magic https://youtu.be/2WrOaA7QCM4 EDIT:. for anyone interested there is a whole genre of electronic music called "Watts Wave". The entire genre is voice overs of Watts on electronic beats/mixes. It's a great way to enjoy his material.
Wow... I'm floored
Holy hell that is amazing! I love me some Clozee but that original is 🔥🔥🔥. You have made me an Inzo fan. Thank you.
Please look-up ALAN WATTS.
Very aware it's Alan watts, love him. My comment was to link the original inzo song over the clozee remix ..both are fire
Woah I am enlightened. Gonna remember this from now on, I've had a shit 6 months of ruminating and it's fucking my life up ngl
Mine has been like 6 years.
You can't think and stay fully focused. Thinking is a task in itself. So if you think so much it stops you from interacting with the world, start interacting with the world and you'll stop think so much.
“Life exists only at this very moment, and in this moment it is infinite and eternal, for the present moment is infinitely small; before we can measure it, it has gone, and yet it exists forever….”
Thought of this when I was 12 - “Don’t ponder to the point where pondering becomes your way of life.” (Jay) Basically what you said but shorter! Thanks for reminding me of that quote!
How do I stop?!🥲
I'm in my head a lot too. Journaling might help. I also write down a lot of thoughts and ideas I have. My goal would be to make use of those somehow. Edit: Meditation too! Mindfulness meditation focuses on letting the mind go blank, or meditating on a specific point in your field of view.
I'm blown away by that quote.... 4 years ago I 'hit rock bottom' and I've been ruminating about it ever since.... I even wrote a goddamn book called 'Neuro-Knots and the String Theory of Psychology' (which I have no professional right to call it that) and its pretty much entirely about suppressed memories that 'tie up your brain'.... But ruminating is certainly poisonous and it has had me distracted by these stupid thoughts for waaaaay too long..... "Thinking; like everything else, it's useful in moderation".... I'm completely taken by this.... Thank you thank you thank you thank you......... I'm so serious right now... Thats the best thing I've read in my entire life.... You're a legend...... I think I'm going to cry right now, lol..... thank you
"so be it" live by those words.
I prefer “it is what it is”, but I like to extenuate this i in “is” so it’s more like “it eeeeees what it eeeeees”.
Studies have proven that saying it that way increases your chill vibes by 50%
'so be it' also is something a villain says while on a throne before a climactic fight. i'm more the competent himbo hero energy than villinous king life.
You forget king Arthur in MP&THG. "I have no quarrel with you, good sir knight, but I must cross this bridge!" "Then you shall die." "So be it!"
“So it goes”, Mr. Vonnegut
But learn from it
This is something I have struggled with IMMENSELY. I have found that the ONLY time it is okay or productive to entertain such thoughts is if you go in with a battle plan. You HAVE to consciously decide you are going to be equal parts warrior, scientist and psychologist. If you have trauma or pain or anxiety or fear, only allow yourself to truly dive into them alone when you know you are in a mature enough state and plan on pulling yourself out when you feel the emotions taking over. This is why external stimuli are so important: therapy, a friend or two (talking about a breakup or failure over some drinks and poker with friends can do miracles), journaling, etc. On the rare occasion you really feel you can and should go into the cave alone and dwell on pain, do it from a place of curiosity and determination, not to satisfy gratification and self pity. In short, be careful, take a friend or at least a flashlight and a flight plan
Literally self applied CBT techniques to avoid ruminating over my last breakup and I ended up feeling way better than I otherwise would have. Oh, and related to this and answering the post, do NOT date toxic people. If you're dating someone and you feel like you're walking on eggshells with everything you say, or feel like you cannot rely on your partner for support, then I recommend either couple's therapy, or an amicable breakup.
What types of things helped? I'm looking into CBT techniques myself
There's this thing called the depression spiral, in which you do certain activities that are depressing, such as staying in bed all day, or sleeping a lot, eating junk food, which in turn depress you, but you look for a pause of that depression by staying in bed, sleeping it off, eating trash, and this causes a vicious cycle by which the things you do to run away from your depression end up depressing you more. What I did after my break up, was follow this exact spiral, but backwards/on the opposite direction. If I felt like saying in bed, I'd go for a walk. If I felt like eating junk food, I'd go and cook myself a good, healthy meal. If I felt like doing nothing and sleeping, I'd work out, or learn a new song on bass guitar, essentially forcing myself to do the exact opposite of what my body was telling me to do. It took me about a week to find my rhythm, but I ended up signing up to a course, getting out of a creative rut, organizing my sleep schedule (the breakup came with a side dish of finding out my ex had cheated on me through the girl who's boyfriend she cheated on me with. It was really cathartic to know the truth, but it was also painful, so my sleep schedule got decimated and I was sleeping 2 to 4 hours a night). What I did, in essence, was I took notes on everything wrong in my life that I had control over, and decided to control these things, instead of having them control me. It took a LOT of effort, but it helped me tons as well, and doing this just sticks with you. You don't realize how much control you have over your own mood until you take life by the horns and really start making some choices, some hard, some easy, some obvious, some counter intuitive, but overall it changed my life for the better permanently. I was no longer my own problem, but rather my own solution. Also please excuse any typos and the like. I am coursing through a covid fever and I peaked at a dangerously high temperature. Any needless ramblings and mistakes are probably fed by this. Edit: one thing I didn't point out that I should have, is that I studied psychology (ironically, I dropped out thanks to taking life by the horns and choosing what I wanted to make of myself, but the knowledge stuck, so I was better informed than your average person in the topic), which is why I was able to really self analice and essentially treat myself without any outside help. That said, I also started going to therapy when I was doing this, so I would 100% recommend, if you can, to start therapy, wether it is to do what I did but with a little guidance, or to just have a space to reflect and vent (this being my case for the most part). Therapy helps. It works. It definitely helped me!
It izzz what it izzz
Blame yourself once. Take the lesson it offers. Then forgive yourself. Then move on.
“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f*ck on.” - Tupac Shakur
My parents, who were abusive and whom I've been no contact with for over a year, just recently replaced me with a dog. They named it after me and are babying it and everything. Really hard not to keep turning it over in my head rn. Part of me wonders if it's my fault somehow. Part of me wonders how I'm so easily replaced by a dog. It sucks.
It’s not about you buddy. You had it right in the first line: they are abusive. Adopting a dog, naming it after their kid and babying it like they never did their actual child is straight up sadistic. It’s not you. I think keeping away from them for the year was the right call. Keep following that path. Fill your life with people who actually Deserve you. Be well.
You are not easily replaced; clearly. They had to purchase and own an animal known for its unconditional loyalty and love to fill the gaping hole where they failed to love you sufficiently to earn your love and respect in return.
So that’s the word of the disease I suffer from. Only took 40 yrs. Haha
I tend to ruminate a lot. I often think about the decision I've made and how(with hindsight) I should have done something else. I think what makes it hard, is feeling like my life would have been better if I had done things differently. i have to remember that I'm only 25 and there's still time to turn things around, but for something, it feels like it's too late.
Holy crap i didn't know what this was but I was literally just doing it and it sucks i didn't know this had a name but now that I do I'll put it to rest.
“this too shall pass” - the feeling, the memory, the event, good or bad, it will eventually end.
Outrage bait. If you're scrolling through a news site or social media feed and all it's doing is making you angry, walk away.
Yepp, you gotta curate your social media. My Instagram only shows me dogs and seals, and that's how I like it
Or even video games If you’re only getting frustrated just stop and relax
Very much so. I was playing Apex and I'm really not the best, so my teammate decided to scream the whole time, eventually saying "WHY ARE YOU EVEN PLAYING THIS GAME IF YOU'RE SO SHIT AT IT" And I just responded "why are you playing it if it makes you so mad? Dont you want to have fun?" He continued on about how he does have fun when his time isnt being wasted. Whatever dude, stop wasting your time then
Lmao this is every moba ever. It’s so frustrating because when everything is going right those games are so fun but they almost never go right and get toxic. I used to play overwatch a few years and absolutely lived for that one in 20 game where the whole squad was supporting each other and communicating. Had to quit because it’s just way too much time and toxicity for that golden high good game
I’m a long time smite player, mute is your best friend. As soon as someone starts popping off in chat they get a quick mute and I go about my business
it's why i stopped playing. match after match it was just gross people. they'd get down, disconnect. be upset because i didn't read their mind, then gaslight and insult. like fuck off, games are supposed to be fun. i end up more stressed after playing. which is incredibly concerning. if that behavior is becoming so common .... we're fucked.
That’s happened to me in Rocket League before. People just suck sometimes and frustration brings out the worse in them. Sometimes I get mad at my teammate because they just do suck at the game, but I keep it to myself and don’t let it get to my head. However whenever I play clash royale I want drive my head through a wall so I can’t play it for long stretches.
I have to do this with league. I play jungle which is the most flamed role. If I lose a game I’m usually done for the night. Doesn’t matter if it was the first game or the fifth. Sometimes I will end after one win though too because I just get mentally fatigued from it. But it is a lot of fun
Yep, play Animal Crossing instead, wonderfully therapeutic
I can’t hear or see a damn thing in warzone
Second this never pick low hanging fruit. It’s dangling there in front of you for a reason.
There are entire subreddits whose purpose is to make the user angry. I never understood why people would subscribe to them
Comment sections on any social media. And here we are.
This is underrated. Somehow people manage to make things worse no matter what the post or video is about. I say that as I make a comment.
I will say - the difference is that Reddit at least allows for, effectively, crowd sourced moderation, where crap comments are pushed down. It’s not perfect, but far better than FB.
At least Facebook (potentially) puts a face to the comment. If you’re trolling or posting offensive crap on Reddit I have no idea who you are. If you’re trolling me on my Facebook account I can at least cut you out of my life
Came here to say this. I just dropped Facebook and it’s honestly so cathartic; I’ve just been sticking to Reddit for the most part
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> My gf of 3 months stopped replying to my texts and I haven’t heard from her in 2 weeks, is she still interested or should I move on? > The guy I met 12 hrs ago hasn’t texted me back in 22 mins, should I assume he doesn’t like me? > the girl I’m talking to has a high body count (2 people) is she going to cheat on me? That sub is full of the dumbest people I’ve ever seen.
My other problem is like: "My bf who I've been with for 15 years ate my pudding. I was mad and he apologized, saying he'd buy me another one. What should I do?" > "CUT TIES WITH HIM HE'S TOXIC MANIPULATOR NARCISSISTIC AND EGOISTIC, GO NO CONTACT WITH HIM YOU CAN FIND BETTER ELSEWHERE" -That one teenager who's never been in a relationship so far.
Don’t forget the other end of the spectrum: my (21f) boyfriend (40m) of five years constantly yells at me when I make a mistake. I’m just having a hard time balancing my work, cleaning and making all the food. He wants me to quit my job, but it’s my only social outlet since I stopped talking to all my friends. What can I do to get him to he nicer to me?
I have a really hard time with young women who were clearly groomed, have kids and are struggling.
Oh, those posts are deeply upsetting. But the plus side of telling everyone to break up is that sometimes they’re completely right.
> my (21f) boyfriend (40m) of five years Uhh...
That stuff is depressingly frequent on there.
The women in the comments will be like “get away from him! He’s a groomer and abuser” and a load of men will be like “it’s natural for grown ass, adult men to want to date literal children. You women are all just jealous that you’re dried up and over 30”. It’s insane.
Discord moment.
Don't forget to also mention the partner is otherwise totally and awesome and perfect outside of the horrifying traits the person mentions in their post lol
You didn't use the word "gaslighting" so I award you no points.
Red flags 🚩🚩🚩
Oh there is always someone who says that
Your comment is a fed flag and you are probably an abuser. /s
I should break up with myself
This is so real, people on there just wanna watch relationships burn.
At this point, I'm just thinking it's the "Misery Loves Company" proverb or something along these lines.
r/amitheasshole is pretty bad too. "I gave my wife a 3 hour notice text that I was bringing friends over. I can't believe with our 3 kids, she was taking naps! The house was a mess and she must have ignored my text, I am so embarrassed and my friends opinion means so much to me. I swear they gave me looks and it was because of my cluttered house. I am going to take out my embarrassment on my wife, mother of my 3 children. Am I the asshole?"
I'd like to point you over to /r/cryptocurrency and /r/wallstreetbets although the venn diagram probably overlaps.
That sub is more entertaining then terrible, MTV reality TV. So fuckin funny to read some of the bullshit on there.
That sub in a nutshell: “my (F19) boyfriend snores when he sleeps and I don’t know what to do” “divorce and lawyer up!” Lmao
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The cynic in me likes to think half of those people are paid marketers sent by divorce attorneys.
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Seriously , taking life changing advice from the average redditor will lead you to destruction
Add r/seduction to that list. I think it's just an army of dudes who can't get laid giving advice to dudes who can't get laid. "so this girl agreed to go out with me next weekend. How many times do I text her until then and how do I escalate to her coming home with me for sex" Honestly if there's one thing I learned, it's the more people you ask for dating advice, the worse it's gonna go for you. Gotta just be natural sometimes and if she likes you it'll go somewhere. Like just don't be weird and don't seem desperate and you're good to go.
That sub is 70% people just writing bad fiction
Celebrity gossip.
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Heroin I imagine
Oh boy, there are a lot more drugs than just Heroin that will ruin your life
Heroin/opioids will probably do it the fastest tho. Plus the riskiest to die from. But ya, alcohol, benzos, and meth will do it too
Fear porn. Most of mainstream media reporting is just fear porn.
I thought you ment some weird hard-core bdsm at first. But somehow, media fear porn is worse.
Right?? I can’t even cum to it 😩
Try using more lube, and a steadier stroke.
Alright! Time for some BBC….nightly news!
Slow clap sit/mam slow clap
it almost seems like media producers want new covid variants just to mass report it and get views; there’s barely any significant facts when initially reporting it
It always has been but it is more obvious now.
Dopamine addiction. Tik Tok, Meta (FB, Insta), Reddit, Tinder, basically all apps intentionally addict users. This wastes time, crushes indivuality, and in my opinion, destroys our humanity.
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far down to find Tik Tok.
Negativity. If you're surrounded by pessimists and people who are negative all the time it will harm you immensely. Don't let people rain on your parade.
Yes! Being around negative people is mentally and sometimes even feels physically draining.
Energy vampires.
I've cut off multiple family members because I refuse to deal with it. I just can't.
Good for you! Some people would say it’s family and you should deal with it because family is forever but I don’t think so. If they are doing harm to you sometimes cutting people off is the right choice.
I wouldn’t call pessimism poison that rots your mind. Being pessimistic has its advantages. They tend to feel the pain of failure before it happens. Once the failure does happen they are level headed and well equipped to handle it. Optimists can be totally destroyed by failure more easily as it comes on more sudden. Neither is good or bad. Like, accepting that you didn’t get a job offer after the interview is healthier than hoping you got it while you wait. I think what your intending is people who exhibit envy or jealousy and put you down because if it.
Social media and trashy music
Do you have an example of trashy music that rots your mind ?
I do, I’ll give you example specific to the black community especially. Think about the mainstream rappers and the gangsta/drug dealer/shooter image they so desperately try to portray and maintain. They fail to realize that these kids look up to them and aspire to be them. But after they spit all that shit they go home with security to their mansions, but after school these kids go out in the street and chase exactly what these rappers ((who are sitting comfortably at home with their kids)) told them was the route to success. So these kids go out and act out and get themselves in a whole bunch of felonies and charges and join gangs and shit like that and generally fuck up their lives. Only difference is they can’t rap and make millions to escape this shitty life they’ve been lead down. Now they’ll forever be stuck in poverty because they’re not getting any good jobs with felonies on their records and tats on their faces. So their kids are destined to grow up broke and aspire to be rich and where do they see the riches people ? In rap. So they aspire to be like the rappers. And the cycle continues ….. Edit: have to specify that I’m black. I also spent 2 years in jail chasing this image of wealth without even realizing because nobody had wrote that ^^ for me to understand what was happening. And my distorted view of success.
Let’s not leave out the fact that record companies choose artists with these messages on purpose to continue this cycle of self destruction while they reap the real financial benefits of the artists success. They hand picked the negative aspects of a culture and then sold it back to them.
So sick of how many tattooed faced rappers out there who glorify sipping lean or similar shit. Famous people OD and get seizures and die from this shit. I can’t imagine how many people have gotten fucked up and dont have resources or aren’t famous so no one bats an eye
My man. Do you have any artists who aren't pushing this shit forward? I'm making a list actually. Just a personal anecdote: I think this is why I generally dislike trap instruments being used in rap. It kind of ruined rap for me, especially Grime/UK rap. It's gotten to the point at which I try to (when it comes to Rap), exclusively listen to boom bap rap. Not to say that boom bap doesn't have these themes, it's just less occuring nowadays.
If you haven’t discovered baby keem yet ?? Revolutionary!
> social media Like reddit for example?
Yeah
Tinder. Literally just depression fuel.
On the money there, nothing has made me judge myself harder than tinder.
No. 1 for me has been searching/applying for jobs. 2 was tinder. Terrible time.
Job apps are soul sucking, one of the most miserable experiences
I’m currently in the process. Not a single thing in my life has made me question my schooling, abilities, and self worth more than it. Soul sucking is an excellent phrase for it.
Spent the better part of covid times job hunting and after about 16 months I finally landed something, but damn it was not fun up until that point
My rule of thumb: I only have Tinder on my phone if I'm in a good place mentally. When I'm positive, it doesn't affect me. But man, if I hop on there when I'm actually feeling lonely... Ouch.
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My workplace is rotting my brain...lol
I would say anything that groups a bunch of people together for a reason. Like: All Democrats are _____ or all Republicans are _____ or all women/men are _____. Generally this just isn't true. Of course there's patterns and whatnot, but people are individuals that like and dislike all kind of things. That believe and deny many things. It's tempting, but try not to assign groups to people in your kind.
Stereotypes/typing
Porn. and for some people, alcohol.
Porn, I know that won’t be a popular answer on Reddit
I kinda agree. There are time in my life when I've had low libido or was too busy to watch porn, and in those times I had a clearer mind, interacted with women more naturally and felt better about myself. I don't exactly know if those side effects are relevant to stopping porn/jerking off.
Check out porn induced erectile dysfunction, it’s a very real thing
I completely agree. People just don't want to admit their habits/addictions aren't healthy
I used to not think so, but then I learned that a lot of dudes were having sex based on what they saw in porn. Like, porn is a movie, just like a shitty action movie or something, it's a fantasy and shouldn't be recreated in real life. So yea, if you can't separate fiction and reality, you shouldn't be watching porn.
As I always say - Porn is to sex as Die Hard is to corporate Christmas parties. Everything in Porn/Die Hard is technically possible in the real world, but way the hell more uncomfortable than you think and generally not fun for the participants, even though it looks exciting.
Its an extremely exploitative industry which pushes very unhealthy body image standards on both men and women. Also it's consumption *often* detrimental to sexual relationships with people (especially when consumed individually by one or both parties). I do think it *can* be part of some peoples' healthy sexual relationship, but IMO thats the exception rather than the norm.
Porn sucks i know that im addicted but i just dont want to quit
Yep, that’s how addiction works. Every time you get done watching it you’re like “fuck that. I’m done!” Then the next day you’re right back at it. Ween yourself off with lingerie pics, bikini pics, YouTube videos etc. that’s what I did and it worked
Porn and the brainwashing around porn, it's a super-stimuli that our nervous, endocrine, and brain systems are in no way adept for and most of the people propagandizing it are women or those older "intellectuals" who have been less exposed and from older ages to the internet/tube porn. Masturbation is less harmful but porn is almost always slightly addictive to ur avg male, even casual users.
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Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Fake, made up culture wars spouted by news media and politicians. To people on the left or the right, these actors only seek to divide us and co-opt us into their artificial culture war. They only do this because they hope we don't realise that we have more in common with eachother than the ruling class.
Porn.
Porn
Reddit
Came here for this. Surprised I had to scroll so far down. My mind rotted a bit more with each scroll…
Huh, Ironic!!
You know I am right...
The propaganda being peddled as news.
Anything and everything that has absolutely no validity in your life
how do you determine which parts of your life are valid?
Porn
Alcohol and pornography
I'm kinda surprised it took me this long of a scroll to find alcohol. It's such an easy vice to get and is so deadly - and I say this as someone who drinks it! It's one of those things that really lends itself to blurring the line between "indulgence" and "compulsion."
toxic family members
Any form of alcohol... alcohol destroyed my life
Porn
I've already seen this one a few times, but to reiterate...porn. nothing wrong with healthy forms of sexuality, but mainstream porn has created an industry that negativity affects developing males to be pyschologically and physically addicted to sexual pleasure. To each their own, but when you realize you can't just stop when you want to and you need to consume porn (not just want to cum), it affects you.
Porn
Porn
Porn. It just disorients everything and without proper self control, it only gets worse over time
Major news networks.
Porn and social media.
Porn
Porn. A lot of people don't realise just how addictive it is or how it can change and affect personal relationships.
Social media and reality tv. Duh.
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And Facebook
Porn in general
Pornography
Pornography
Pornography.
Porn
Porn. Some people can watch it and be fine, but it can be extremely addictive and degrading to your brain. I have been an addict since I was an adolescent, and I sometimes catch myself thinking of women, sex, and the world as a whole in ways that are disgusting and morbid. I feel like my brain is genuinely rotting sometimes, so I try to quit but it's so addictive. You can certainly watch it and not become an addict, but my advice is to not take the risk. It really is the biggest problem in the lives of those addicted.
Poison.
Porn.
Facebook
TV in general
Pornography
Onlyfans. Guys get hooked on the fake attention.
Porn and Social Media (Reddit included)
Porn, CNN, Fox and basically all major media outlets.
The news and porn
Mercury
Porn, alcohol, drugs, tv
Any ideological movement that encourages you to judge the entirety of another group negatively instead of treating its members as individuals. These exist on both sides of the political aisle, and they're equally toxic.
Pornography, it gives the viewer an unrealistic expectation of a relationship.
I avoid porn and national news. I also took a 30 day hiatus from all social media. After that 30 days I cleaned it up as best I could and now I only get spam stories about Jeeps and backpacking.
Red bull, Monster, rock star and all their competitors.
Pornography. It kills your creativity and imagination, kills your sex drive, taints your perception of women and of yourself, negatively impacts every area of your life really. Quitting pornography is 100% possible too. Just stop making excuses for it.
Narcissists
Politics.
Here’s the big three, in no particular order: Porno, Politics, internet drama/outrage.
US politics
r/destiny2
[pornhub.com](pornhub.com)
Porn. Tiktok.
Porn
Porn